We thought He was our friend. We thought He had wanted to help us. We thought that the portal would do what He said. We thought it would bring light and knowledge. Instead it, and He in turn, only brought death and destruction. The complete annihilation of our world.
It had taken us a little over a year to create the machine. The portal. To be honest, it took a bit longer than we'd anticipated. It was our finest accomplishment (of what we had hoped would be many). Not just anybody places 'Portal to another dimension' on their list of past projects. We were going to be world renown. We were going to bring change. All with his help.
And change we brought.
When the portal, that abominable machine, was opened, fully opened, instead of infinite knowledge that he had promised, a large, black, terrible hand reached out of the vortex. He pulled himself out, allowing himself to fully manifest in our dimension. Next came his friends, a collection of freaks and monsters the likes of which we had never seen. Not even in Gravity Falls.
We'd barely escaped. We'd run, tried to save as many as we could. But He was to powerful. He gathered every living person into one place, turning them into gold and twisting them into a crooked thone of pure human agony. And what did He think of it? He thought it was funny. He thought our pain, our suffering, our agony, was funny.
I'll never forget my brother's face when he realized we were the only ones left. Never forget the look in his eyes as he told me to go through the portal. Told me that it was the only way that we would be saved. I'll never forget my brother pleading with me to help him keep me out of his mistakes.
I did what he said. I had no choice. The fire in his eyes, sallow from lack of sleep, the memory of seeing His eyes instead of my brother's, everything about him, compelled me to do what he said.
The fact that he shoved me though made matters more complicated too.
Five dimensions. Ford had seen the same wanted poster in no less than five dimensions. Word on the street was that another dimension had been destroyed. But what was strange about this one was that it was an apostrophe-backslash. Ford had instantly demanded to know exactly which apostrophe backslash had been destroyed, and was half relieved to learn that it wasn't his. It was H-43'\ instead of his own 86'\, which was great for him (his permanent sacrifice wouldn't be put to waste... yet), but it still meant that Bill was on his killing spree.
Then wanted posters had been dotting up around several key dimensions, all for a young girl from that dimension. Normally Ford wouldn't pay that any attention (she wasn't that big of a bounty), but the fact that Bill wanted her piqued his interest. What would Bill want a kid for? More importantly, how badly did Bill want her?
With a sigh he grabbed his tracker and attached the small device to his left jacket sleeve. He watched the small green dot start blinking to the... Well... In human terms, west, in alien it was technically Klidop, but Ford still preferred his own dimension's terminology (he was forgetting things from there already). He headed out into the setting purple sun, doing his best to keep his eyes trained on the grey pavement under his feet. Simply because he was tracking a bounty didn't mean he wasn't one himself.
He brushed up against several aliens, but that was so common no one really pointed it out. One had a head like a lion with the eyes of a goat (it was funny how many goat-like eyes Ford saw), and another looked like a bread loaf slithering across the ground. Ford was lucky he was in a dimension where everyone looked so different, his human features didn't stand out so much.
The sun was getting lower, and he knew that it would be dark soon. That would not be good for the girl. Whoever she was. He needed to find her, and get her to someplace actually safe sooner than later. He turned down a darker alley (why would a child think dark alleys would be safe? Was she crazy?) and followed the tracker deeper into the middle of one of the poorer sections.
Now all the aliens he was seeing were less kempt. They were missing limbs or eyes or features. They were deformed, from birth or other methods. And whatever eyes they did have watched him. A few called out their wares to him, several of which disgusted him. He didn't need anything like that in his life.
Finally he came to a small establishment. A restaurant of sorts. And he turned and flung the dirty doors open. The walls were a hideous brown, and the patrons in the place weren't much prettier to look at. Dozens of eyes looked up and quickly back down as Ford stepped inside of the room, including a small figure at the bar. Ford took a deep breath of the musty and achohol scented air in and walked towards the back of the room.
Sliding naturally onto the seat next to the figure, Ford leaned his right arm against the grey bar table. The bartender, a short and stumpy alien with butterfly-like antenna, was busy cleaning a dirty glass with an equally dirty rag.
"What can I getcha?" It asked, it's voice not particularly revealing what gender the creature was. Ford's eyes slid to the figure, who was staring down at a green drink in front of them, and he waved a hand towards it. "Whatever they're having. No more questions please."
The bartender nodded, and Ford nearly winced when they took that dirty glass over to a cabinet and filled it up with the green liquid from a darker green bottle.
"To be honest, I thought a wanderer like you would go for something more strong." The creature said, sliding the glass to Ford, who wrapped his hand around the base of the glass. He shrugged, watching the figure shrink into themselves. "I don't really feel like waking up in an alley with a hangover." he stated, and the creature nodded.
"Holler if you want more." they said, moving away from Ford and off to the rest of the building. Ford sighed, then lifted the drink up to his lips, and sniffed before taking a small swallow. It was bitter, and didn't sting as badly as some of the drinks Ford had tried. It wasn't the worst brew in the multiverse, but it definitely wasn't a good one.
There was silence, and he waited for the figure next to him to take another sip before lifting the glass to his lips again. The figure looked over at him, and Ford noted how the clothing obscuring his view of her was a jacket. A very human-like jacket.
"You're lucky we're not in America," he said quietly, turning around and folding a leg over his other knee. He swirled his cup slightly before taking a longer drink, the bitterness not getting to him as much as before. "It's illegal for someone your age to be drinking. You do remember that."
The figure froze, her face turning towards him. "What the-" She whispered, and Ford shook his head. "It's all right. I know what happened. I'm just pointing out the illegality of this situation." He made another pause for another sip. "You're what? Fifteen?"
"I turned sixteen a few weeks ago." the girl snapped, before realizing what she had said. "So what? It doesn't matter anymore. I don't exactly have a lot of things I can do." She swirled a figure around the rim of her cup, and added, "Why don't you just leave me alone?" Ford looked over at her, and saw her left hand reach towards her pocket, and a small silver object was pulled halfway out.
He knew what she was scared of, and decided to address anything she might be worried about. "The Muse is not someone I am interested in letting run free. He wants someone. A girl. I want to make sure he doesn't find her. Her death would be less than useless. Do you know anything about that?" He didn't look at her, but he knew that she was staring at him. She really wasn't very good at staying undercover.
"Maybe." She muttered, and Ford couldn't help but let out a sigh. "Wonderful. Now, I want you to listen to me very carefully." His eyes flew across the room, and he was half relieved to see that the patrons were clearing out. Odd, as it wasn't that late in the day. Or early for that matter. He turned back around, draining his glass with one long swallow and placing the cup back on the counter. "The Muse never changes. He will adapt, but not change. We must be like that. We will adapt to whatever he throws at us. And in this case I want to... assist... his most recent victim."
The hooded girl nodded, placing her half-finished glass on the counter next to Ford's. "And what would that victim need to do?" she asked, and Ford grinned. "Well, there's a vortex several clicks from here that I will be taking in the morning. I'd suggest that she should use this tracker to find someone from 86'\. That will be all." He plunged a hand into his pocket and pulled out a few golden coins, which he slapped on the counter. He then moved past the figure, slipping his tracker onto the edge of her sleeve without being too noticeable. "And pray that the Axolotl is on our side."
Thirty years. It had been thirty, long, awful (yet sometimes wonderful), excruciatingly long years. Forty years since he'd been cast aside and forced to make it on his own. Forty years since he'd last... laughed with his brother, had a good time with him. Thirty since he'd last seen him. But he tried to forget how... uncharacteristic Ford had acted last time.
Now the portal was working again. All of those long nights spent learning and relearning physics and science and... whatever other nerdy stuff Ford had used to build this thing were finally paying off. It had been worth it. The portal was working. And now he could see him, and actually see his brother again. Even if it had been a miniature eternity.
Stan wondered what he would say to Ford. Would he cry? Throw himself on top of him and sob into his black coat? Or would he simply stand here, at a loss for words?
A loss for words it was.
From the portal came not just one figure, but two. Out of the swirling vortex came Stanford Pines, and someone else. Someone smaller, someone feminine looking. Someone dressed literally exactly like Stan's brother, down to the giant guns strapped to their backs. Stanford had a... girlfriend? daughter? colleague? Stan watched the two of them come further into the room, Ford bending down to pick up his first Journal from off of the ground as they did so.
They took off their masks, and Ford looked pretty much how Stan had expected him to. His face looked exactly like Stan's, except for the notable exception of Stan's lack of a cleft chin. The lady looked a lot like Wendy actually, but with black hair that looked like it hadn't been washed in months and piercing... red eyes? Okay, this lady wasn't human. Vampire maybe? Who knows?
"Finally," Stan said, pushing his tired body closer to Ford, who watched him in silence. Ford hadn't shown any emotion since he'd left the portal, and he certainly wasn't giving Stan any right then. "After all these long years of waiting." Stan continued, throwing his arms out wide, "You're actually here! Brother-"
Ford's right fist crashed into Stan's already sore jaw before Stan could finish his sentence. A surprised shout came from Mabel, and a groan from Stan before he could shout out, "Ow! What on earth was that for!?" Ford slid back, letting his hands fall to his sides, but still looking like he might swing at Stan again. He grit his teeth and stated in a serious voice the very first words Stan had heard from him in thirty years.
"This was an insanely risky move, restarting the portal. Didn't you read my warnings?!"
Stan felt his mind swirl around as he stared at his brother in shock. His thoughts drifted from Ford's newest betrayal, the woman who was watching them silently, the portal itself, and the kids. Finally it settled on his bruised jaw, and he crossed his arms, glaring at his brother with a frustrated look.
"Warnings, shmornings." He stated, furrowing his brow, "How's about a little 'thanks' for saving you and your girlfriend from some strange... I dunno, sci-fi vampire dimension." He tried to lace his words with a tone that would make Ford want to thank him, but apparently it didn't work.
"Thank you? Thank you?! Are you seriously... Wait. Did you just call her my girlfriend?" Ford's frustration turned into anger, which melted into confusion as he fully grasped what Stan had said. "Kacy is not. I repeat, not my girlfriend. I'm old enough to be her father." Ford crossed his arms, making him look almost exactly like Stan, and fumed at his brother. Stan shrugged, playing the 'dumb' card. "Coulda fooled me."
Ford rubbed the bridge of his nose, his glasses getting shunted up to rest on his forehead before he readjusted them. "Stan, I don't have any words for you. What were you thinking?" Stan rolled his eyes, then snapped, "I don't know. That I wanted to get you back. I mean, I only got one of you, and now there's a girl version. Maybe that wasn't the best..."
"Uh. Hello? I'm right here! What is going on?!" The woman cried, throwing her leather jacket-covered arms into the air. Stan's eyes flew over to her, and Ford closed his eyes and sighed. The woman motioned towards the two old men, then asked, "And why are there kids here?! Have you gone completely nutso?"
Stan opened his mouth to respond, but Ford cut him off before he could. "I suppose he has. And what are you talking..." Ford blinked, then seemed to notice Dipper, Mabel, and Soos all standing behind Stan. "You... You didn't tell me there were children down here." If Stan didn't know any better he'd say that Ford seemed a bit uncomfortable as he scanned Dipper and Mabel. He sighed, then said, "Yeah, cause that would be the perfect greeting. 'Just an FYI, our great niece and nephew are here, so don't punch me in the face or anything'."
Ford glared at Stan, then seemed to process what he had said. "Wait. Sherman has grandchildren?" he asked, and Dipper and Mabel shared a confused look.
"Yeah, it was a surprise to be sure." Stan said, then he waved a hand at Ford's friend. "The not-girlfriend is a surprise too." Ford opened his mouth to respond, but the woman stepped forward and elbowed him. His eyes were plastered to the two children, but they flicked briefly to the woman. "Stanford," she said, looking at the kids as well. "Introduce us. You have a niece and nephew! And a brother! I need to get to know them!"
The two black-clothed travelers shared a look, then the older of the two took a deep breath in and started to step closer to the children. He knelt down in front of Mabel, and said, "Greetings. Do kids still say 'greetings'? Doesn't matter, I'm Stanford Pines, and this is my... Assistant. Kacy Zenith." He held a hand out to Mabel, who reached her own out and shook his firmly.
"Whoa, a six-fingered handshake..." She started, then blinked rapidly, like a bright light had been shone directly into her eyes. "Wait. Did you just say Stanford? But Grunkle Stan is Stanford!"
If Stan had been in trouble before, he was definitely in high water now. Kacy spun around, while Ford just glared over at him. Stan took a step back and muttered, "Uh... There's a good reason for this..." Ford didn't seem impressed, and instead he just turned back to Mabel and dropped her hand. "Just ignore my brother." He said, and Mabel nodded timidly.
"I- I don't... I don't believe it! You're the Author of the Journals!" Ford and Kacy's eyes were now drawn to the other child in the room, holding his pointer finger out towards Ford. The two of them shared another look, then Kacy whispered, "Looks like you got yourself a fanboy..."
"I'm Dipper!" Dipper exclaimed, stepping closer to them. "And you... You're the Author of the Journals! I've been waiting so long to meet you... I don't know what to say... Oh man..." He bent over, placing his hands on his shaking knees. His cheeks puffed out as he pressed his lips together, then he mumbled, "I think I'm gonna throw up..."
Ford, Kacy, and Mabel all shared a look, then Mabel said in a clarifying voice, "My brother reeeeaaaaallly liked your Journal. He's been like, obsessing over it for a few months now. By the way, Gnomes' weakness is Leafblowers." She grinned at Ford, who looked back over at her. He blinked, then mumbled, "Oh yeah... They're from here. Sorry, I forget which terrifying creatures come from what dimension."
Kacy laughed, then smacked him upside the head. Ford let out a small shout, then Kacy rolled her eyes and folded her arms. "What do you say Mr. Pines?" His eyebrows went up, then he seemed to realize what she was implying.
"Oh, yes. Thank you... I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch your name." Mabel grinned, then said, "Don't worry, it likes to run off. I'm Mabel!"
"Well then," Ford said, rubbing the back of his head where Kacy had hit it. "Thank you Mabel. Are you sure that Dipper is all right?" He pointed at the boy, who was hyperventilating in front of all of them. Mabel shrugged, then said, "Well, he's really just being Dipper. Who knows when he'll grow out of that." She smiled then exclaimed, "Now I have two Grunkles! And an honorary Graunt!"
"A what?"
Weirdmageddon came all too soon. Kacy of course knew all of the signs (giant X-shaped hole in the sky... Bill's laughter... All the spawn of the Nightmare Realm coming into the world... All the good stuff), and she and Ford dashed off to deal with it.
Ford had wanted to keep Dipper in Gravity Falls with the two of them, but Kacy pointed out that it wouldn't be fair for Mabel. They had asked Dipper first, and he had taken a bit of persuasion (aliens were good at helping Ford and Kacy get what they wanted... except for Bill. Bill could die alone in a hole) but he had eventually come around.
But Mabel hadn't understood what they were presenting, and had run off with Dipper's backpack before he could explain. Now there was a tear in their dimension, and Bill was going all 'never-ending-party' on them. Luckily Ford and Kacy had a backup plan.
And a backup for that backup.
Ford's last shot had missed, and Bill had plucked him from the wreckage of the old church steeple. Bill thanked Ford for causing the apocalypse (alright... that was sort of true), then asked him if there was anything else he wanted to add.
"You know. My assistant still misses you..." Ford said, grinning at the triangular demon. Bill leaned his eye close to Ford, and asked, "What..?" Ford's grin got cheesier, and he finished, "But her aim is getting better!"
As they said, it was a quiet Click and Bang. Then a terrible scream sounded from Bill as a bright blue light his the center of his being. As his molecules destabilized so did everything else. Within mere moments all of Bill's friends were sent hurtling through the hole in the sky, and Ford fell gracefully to the ground.
He threw his arms in the air in a victory gesture and shouted, "Yes! I learned nothing!"
Hello everyone! How are you guys?
This was just something I wanted to do. It got a bit sloppy at the end, but I didn't really have anything I wanted to flush out. I, like Ford, learned nothing.
I don't really have much to say. My life has been a bit boring recently. I got some cavities filled today... That was fun... So... Uh... Pumpkin Spice Latte!
Have a great day.
-BrilliantLight