A/N: This chapter was requested by one of my followers on AO3 and Tumblr via my ask box on Tumblr. Please read and review, and enjoy!

The Ultimate Detective and The Ultimate Hope Gaiden: How I Met Your Mother (And How I Met Your Father)

Bonding Arc

Chapter Fourteen: Poker with the Ultimate Gambler! Junko Enoshima Crashes the Party?

Present Day

"So who did you bond with next, Mommy?"

"Well, after the festival, we had to start studying for finals. I came across your father in the library and noticed he looked stressed from studying so hard. I took pity on him and invited him to the Game Room to play a game of Othello. We had just finished when…"

XXX

July 4, 2014

"And…match."

Makoto looked from Kyoko's victorious expression to the Othello board sitting at the table. Kyoko had been leading the entire game, always turning his pieces black while he could barely turn enough of her pieces white to stay competitive.

"…Othello isn't your strong suit, is it, Makoto?"

Chuckling nervously, Makoto scratched his cheek as he agreed "…Yeah…strategy games in general I'm mostly bad at. I mean, I enjoy them…but there's no question that I'm more likely to lose against someone who knows what they're doing." Makoto smiled and continued "Still, I had fun; thanks for inviting me to play with you, Kyoko." Standing up, Makoto began "Well, I should get back to studying…"

"In that case, perhaps she wouldn't mind playing against someone…more her speed."

Standing up, Kyoko turned her head along with Makoto to face the Ultimate Gambler herself, Celestia Ludenberg, her deceptive smile plastered on her face.

"My apologies; I couldn't help but overhear. …In truth, I was seeking you out, Kirigiri-chan."

Immediately suspicious, Kyoko asked cautiously "…And why were you seeking me out?"

"Well, after seeing you spend time with most of our other classmates, it had occurred to me that we had yet to be properly acquainted. …Besides, your performance in the Smash Tournament back in April intrigued my competitive side, so I was curious to see how you would perform in a one-on-one game that's a little more…luck based. So how about it, Kirigiri-chan? Care to have a friendly wager on a game of poker?"

Narrowing her eyes, Kyoko declined "I don't gamble."

Even if she were the type to partake in bets, she remembered the one instance that Makoto had foolishly accepted a bet with Celeste. It had been a close game, but Celeste had managed to pull out just ahead, and taken the small allowance that his parents had sent him in a care package as her trophy. Celeste's giggling, gloating words still rung in her ears as she recalled Makoto's warning to her against playing a game with stakes with her.

"Let this be the price for this lesson: Never bet against the Ultimate Gambler, Celestia Ludenberg."

Sighing disappointedly, Celeste moaned "Most unfortunate. And here I was hoping that we could get to know each other over a friendly game of cards…I'd have hoped that Makoto would have taught you the importance of getting to know your classmates. …I guess you and he aren't as close friends as I thought you were…"

Kyoko narrowed her eyes in slight anger; her bond of friendship with Makoto was one of the things she treasured most in this world, and hearing Celeste belittle that made her want to accept just to teach her a lesson. But the more rational part of her brain prevented her from giving into Celeste's goading. Before Makoto could raise an objection on her behalf, Kyoko settled on a compromise.

"Celeste…I will play with you…as long as there is no wager of value."

Sighing in disappointment, Celeste reluctantly agreed "I suppose there is nothing to be done. Fine then, I'll just have to settle for bragging rights." A thought coming to her, Celeste asked "I apologize for not considering this earlier, but do you know the rules of poker?"

Taking her previous seat and cleaning up the Othello board, Kyoko nodded, disclosing "I had to learn the game when I had to go undercover during one of my cases."

Taking Makoto's seat, Celeste smiled, replying "Excellent; I'm so glad I don't have to waste any time explaining the rules to you. Now…"

"Wassup, bitches!"

All their heads turned to see the grinning Junko, making a peace sign with her right hand as she strolled into the Game Room, the rest of the class crowding in behind her.

Ignoring Junko's rude entrance, Celest merely smiled and asked politely "Is there something we can help you with, Enoshima-san?"

Shifting personas to resemble that of a punk rock star, Junko nearly screamed "Hel yeah! First, it's Junko! We're all buddies now, right? So none of that Enoshima-san crap, ya hear?"

Put off by Junko's change in demeanor, Kyoko cautiously nodded and replied "Noted, Junko. So, why are you here again?"

"'Cuz I wanna play too!" Seeing Kyoko and Celeste's incredulous stares, Junko continued "Come on! Celeste's not the only one who hasn't gotten acquainted with Kyoko here! The two of us haven't had some girl time, either!" Hanging her head and changing her expression to one of great depression, Junko moaned "You even went on an adventure with plain, boring, useless ol' Muku. But not…me? You didn't even come and visit my runway by yourself at the festival; you and Luck Boy were joined at the hip."

"Junko, we didn't…" Makoto tried to pacify before being interrupted by Junko.

*Sniff* "To be put lower on the friendship scale than Muku, to be treated like I don't even exist…it fills me with such despair…" Junko switched back to her rock star personality as she exclaimed "And that should be a crime at Hope's Peak Academy, right?!"

Kyoko was very weirded out by Junko's multiple personality twists, reinforcing her decision to keep her distance from the Ultimate Fashionista. That being said, they were now presented with a dilemma.

She probably won't leave us alone until we say yes, and she probably brought the class with her to exert peer pressure on us, so… Kyoko sighed, turning to Celeste and asking "I know you said you wanted a one-on-one game, but…"

"This is fine." Her eyebrows raised in surprise, she watched as Celeste giggled "Having two opponents just makes it easier for me to crush you both under my heel. Plus, having an audience to witness your collective downfall will make the bragging rights all the more socially valuable."

Junko pulled up a chair and sat down, grinning as she reverted back to her original persona "Excellent! Alright, dole out the cards and the chips, sister!"

XXX

Things did not go according to Celeste's plan. As the Ultimate Gambler, she was used to being the center of attention, the player to be ganged up on during group poker matches. Instead, Kyoko and Junko were laser focused on each other, barely paying Celeste any mind when she took her turns.

This is insulting! I am the Ultimate Gambler; this game is my specialty! You should be watching my every move, not pretending I don't even exist!

Adding to her annoyance was Junko's psychological taunts towards Kyoko. If they had been directed towards her, they might have been tolerable. Even if that were the case, Celest would still have been slightly annoyed at the new persona Junko was using, talking down to Kyoko as if she were everyone's private instructor.

She even brought GLASSES! Who brings glasses solely to play poker?

Celeste had to subtly take deep breaths to calm herself and focus on the game. Kyoko on the other hand was blissfully unaware of Celeste's struggle, her attention diverted between planning her next move and analyzing the Ultimate Fashionista, who had rubbed her the wrong way ever since she had first arrived on campus.

"Well, Miss Kyoko? It's your turn. Are you struggling to decide your next move? Glancing at Makoto like you usually do in times of indecision won't help you gain an edge."

Kyoko clutched her cards tighter, on edge as she wondered How…does she know about my unconscious habits? Or about my…dependence on his guidance?

After being helped by Makoto so many times with coming out of her shell, glancing at him for help had become something of an unconscious habit, proof of how close they had become as friends. She had thought she was being subtle, but…

Either I'm being more obvious than I thought…or she's way more analytical than I gave her credit for. Junko…is fashion truly your ultimate talent?

"Tick, tock, tick, tock. We're waiting, Kyoko. It's time for you to make a move. Nobody likes a woman who's indecisive about what she wants, not even Makoto over there."

What…is she getting at?

Celeste's anger began boiling as she seethed This isn't fair! I want her to play mind games with ME! Is being taken seriously as the Ultimate Gambler so much to ask?

Mondo whistled as he commented "Damn, Junko's playing hard against Kyoko, bringing up her friendship with Makoto like that." Said Luckster shuffled awkwardly, feeling embarrassed at being an unintended part of the game as Mondo continued "Seems like this game's just between Junko and Kyoko. It's like Celeste isn't even playing."

Everyone else in the peanut gallery nodded in agreement, which proved to be the last straw. Her self-control cracking, her red eyes burned with the intensity of a crimson flame, losing her accent as she yelled, pointing her metallic-covered finger at the two.

"WILL YOU TWO JUST SHUT IT ALREADY! I AM CELESTIA LUDENBERG, THE ULTIMATE GAMBLER! WHEN I PLAY, I WANT A CHALLENGE! BRAGGIGN RIGHTS AREN'T WORTH A PENNY IF MY OPPONENTS DON'T EVEN TRY! QUIT TREATING ME LIKE I DON'T EVEN EXIST, GODDAMMIT!"

As Celeste hyperventilated, the audience stepped back in fear, Mondo whispering "Holy Shit!" at the Gambler's outburst.

Realizing what she just did, took a deep breath before clearing her throat, regaining her accent and putting on a shaky smile as she apologized "Ah, pardonnez-moi. That was…uncalled for."

Shifting her attention to Celeste, Kyoko replied "No, it's our fault. You suggested this game, so we should show our gratitude by treating you as a serious opponent."

Nodding and removing her glasses, Junko concurred "Yeah, sorry, and all that shit."

Smiling, Celeste replied "Excellent! So, shall we continue the game?"

Kyoko nodded and finally placed down her next card, gesturing for Junko to take her turn.

XXX

By the time the deck had been exhausted, Kyoko, Celeste, and Junko all had an equal number of chips, ending the game in a three-way tie. With the match now over, everyone went their separate ways, Kyoko asking Makoto if she could join him in the library for a study session, desperate for some relaxing normalcy after having indulged Celeste and Junko. Makoto of course was all too happy to oblige, happy to spend time with his best friend.

"So, Newton's first law of motion says that an object at rest, stays at rest, while an object in motion, stays in motion, ne?"

Kyoko nodded, continuing "So if a ball is resting on a flat surface, then it's speed is…"

"That would be zero km/h, right?" Kyoko nodded, a small smile on her face before Makoto asked "So…that game with Celeste and Junko got pretty intense, huh?"

Nodding, Kyoko answered "…Yes, I had no idea Celeste had such a fiery temper."

Chuckling nervously, Makoto replied "Yeah, but she doesn't show it often. Usually she just uses a forceful kind of politeness. I've only seen her lose her temper once, and it was during the first couple weeks of school." At Kyoko's questioning stare, he elaborated "She ordered Hifumi to make her some milk tea and he didn't brew it right."

"Ah" Kyoko nodded in comprehension. Still, as long as I don't engage in any bets with her, I suppose she might be a relatively harmless game partner. Junko on the other hand… Her mind wandering to her other opponent, she commented "Junko on the other hand…I don't know what to make of her. I can usually read people pretty well, but she seemed to shift personalities on a dime."

Nodding, Makoto agreed "Yeah…to be honest, I always feel a little nervous around her. I never really know what to expect whenever I talk to her."

That can be dangerous… Kyoko concurred, recalling several instances when she felt tense from having to be around a witness or culprit who seemed unpredictable. There's just something about her that seems…off.

"I mean it's not like I'm gonna exclude her or anything…just I have other people I'd rather hang out with more, if that makes sense. Like…you and Sayaka are my really close friends, I'd say Leon, Hina and Sakura are the next up, followed by Mondo, Taka, and Chihiro, then Mukuro, Hiro, Toko, and Hifumi, while Celeste, Byakuya, and Junko are more like something between acquaintance and friend."

Nodding, Kyoko mused So you have different circles of friends…I suppose that makes sense…

Looking down at his e-Handbook, Makoto apologized "About earlier…I'm sorry I didn't object to Junko's taunts earlier. I was just…afraid that if I involved myself, I'd inadvertently make things worse. I know that's just what Junko's like and all that, but that's still no excuse for not sticking up for you like I should have…"

Letting out a breathy chuckle, Kyoko teasingly scolded "We've gotta work on your tendency to apologize for things out of your control…" Showing him a small smile, she reassured him "It's like you said, that's just who Junko is. I don't have to acknowledge them, just tolerate them. That's what you do, right? You don't let a few ill remarks stop someone from being your friend, right?"

Nodding, Makoto smiled, confirming "Yeah; my classmates are my friends, faults and all. Junko may make me nervous, but that lack of normalcy can make a day fun and exciting. I just have to deal with the taunts as…part of the territory of being her friend."

As Makoto looked back at his notes, Kyoko's lips tugged downwards in a concerned frown. She flashed back to the warning Celeste gave after Makoto headed for the library, before she could follow.

"I may have underestimated Junko. Take it from someone who's especially skilled at lying and reading people; there's something seriously off about her. Engage with her at your own peril."

She recalled the game, how Junko was able to get under her skin by taunting her with her friendship with Makoto as ammunition. Having a potential adversary who could make her squirm while she could not return the favor didn't sit right with her.

I'm going to have to befriend her too…if only so I can protect myself from her…

XXX

Present Day

"Junko seems…creepy, Mommy."

Nodding, Kyoko confirmed "Yes, Kiki. I didn't know it at the time, but Junko Enoshima was the most fearsome opponent I've ever had to contend with."

"But why do you call her an opponent, Mommy? I know you said she wasn't a good person, but why an opponent? Did you have to fight her?"

Makoto took over, kissing his daughter's forehead as he assured her "You'll understand when you're older, pumpkin. Anyway, it's bedtime."

"Awwww!" Kiki moaned, but obeyed "Okay, Daddy" before snuggling against her pillow.

Bringing the blanket up to her chin, they kissed her good night, creeping out of the bedroom as Kiki snored and slumbered, eager to get to bed themselves.