The whiskey bottle was half empty and sat abandoned on the table in front of Spot while the storm still raged both inside and out. Tay had left him alone with his thoughts and returned to the bedroom. She fumbled around in the dark for loose hair pins that Spot's impatient fingers had left scattered around the room. He could see her from where he sat at the kitchen table. She'd made it pretty clear there was nothing he could say or do to make her stay and yet she seemed hesitant to leave. Spot pushed himself away from the table and moved toward the bedroom.

"I don't want company," Tay told Spot as he hovered in the doorway.

"What do you want?" Spot asked. The question hung in the air and he wasn't even sure she was going to answer him. After all, she had no problem giving him the silent treatment but she surprised him.

"I want an apology." Tay's voice was cold and she didn't even bother turning to look at him. Spot stepped into the room and took a seat at the end of the bed. He held his head in his hands and stared at the floor in front of him.

"An apology?"

"Yes."

"For-"

"Jesus Christ, Spot." Her eyes burned bright with anger and Spot noticed that in her dishevelled state her blouse had slipped off one shoulder, revealing a bruise he'd left on her neck earlier that night. "If you ask me for what, I swear I will punch you."

"Hope you don't let him see this violent side of you," Spot told her. He needed to buy himself some time but Tay was adamant.

"An apology or else I walk right out the door."

"I've apologized to you plenty of times."

"No, what you did was lie to me and you never even acted like you were sorry so you can save it." Spot reached out and grabbed her by the hand. "Let go of me. If you can't apologize, then I'm leaving."

"So how am I supposed to prove I'm not lying this time?"

"I'll know."

Spot took a deep breath and tried to ready himself for the inevitable. "What if I can't tell you I'm sorry?"

Tay yanked her hand out of his grasp and Spot felt helpless for a second time that night. Earlier he'd had no trouble pushing each and every one of Tay's buttons but for some reason that confidence had left him.

"Maybe you enjoyed it all so much that you can't apologize for it. I guess I shouldn't be surprised," Tay scorned.

"That ain't it, doll." He blocked her fist before it met his cheek, inwardly amused by her savagery. Tay had struck him before, but there was a feral quality to her that reminded him of that terrible night he'd found her at the Navy Yard.

"Why couldn't you just leave me alone?"

"'Cause I love you."

"No, you don't and I love someone else so—"

"Don't lie to me."

"That's right, use that same tired line," Tay answered sarcastically. "You're the only one allowed to lie in this relationship, right?"

Spot was thrown off by her use of the word relationship and couldn't help but smirk. Lucky for him it was too dark in the bedroom for Tay to see it. Or perhaps her anger blinded her because as Spot focused back on the conversation he realized Tay had kept talking. She paced back and forth in front of him, muttering under her breath.

"-smug, arrogant bastard-"

"I prefer annoyingly charming."

"I'm leaving."

"Anna, stop." Spot got to his feet and slid around Tay to reach the door first, shutting it before she could get away. It left them both standing in pitch black darkness and he heard her breath quicken.

"Open that door or I'll-"

"You'll what? Scream? Hit me? 'Fraid that ain't gonna be any good in this neighborhood, doll."

"I said apologize or I was leaving and I meant it. Get out of the way."

"No."

"You can't do this. I'm not some kid you can just push and shove around anymore. In case you forgot, I left your little kingdom a long time ago." There was a pause before Tay let out another bitter little laugh. "That's it, isn't it? You're still mad that I left without your permission. That's why you can't apologize."

"I ain't gonna apologize if I ain't sorry," Spot answered. "I wouldn't change anything, doll."

"God, you are such an insufferable-"

"-and neither would you."

"What?"

"You heard me. Any time last night you could have walked right out the door and left me, but you didn't. Just like you wouldn't go back and change anything that happened between the two of us and you know it."

"I-" Tay stammered. Spot could almost hear the wheels spinning as she tried to come up with some kind of answer. "You have no idea what I would do. We don't even know each other anymore."

"I know you," Spot answered. Despite his inner objections he allowed the rest of his thoughts to come tumbling out. "And you know me, doll. You always have. I ain't ever let anyone get as close to me as you. Everything I did, I did because -"

"You were protecting me? Going to try that way out of it? You knocked me around to protect me, right? You took me to that horrible woman and forced me to give up my one chance at happiness because you -"

"Don't start with that shit, Anna. I was protecting you, whether you wanted to see it that way or not."

Spot felt Tay's hands fumble through the dark and slide past him as Tay tried to reach the doorknob. He placed his hand over hers but Tay pulled away almost immediately.

"Don't touch me," Tay hissed. "I'm not listening to your bullshit anymore. Let me leave."

"You want to leave? Fine, doll." Spot stepped away from the door and Tay wrenched it open but just stood there, silhouetted in the lamplight from the kitchen. "Go ahead."

"Shut up, Liam."

"The rain stopped so it shouldn't be a bad walk." He knew she wasn't going to go anywhere, which was fine with Spot because he still had things he wanted to talk about with her.

"I'm-I mean, I will-" Tay flustered.

"I almost forgot, I have your things," Spot mentioned as he walked over to the chest of drawers. "Sarah gave me your letter first and after I spent two months looking for you I decided to go back and get the rest."

"What?"

"Your letter said it would be the Refuge. So I went there every night for two months and there was no sign of you. Then I figured they shipped you off to jail so I sent Mouth into every police station in Brooklyn, claiming he was looking for his missing sister and nothing. You never used your real name, you never tried to get in touch with me again. How you got Higgins to keep his mouth shut for almost a year, that's pretty incredible."

"I thought they'd send me to the Refuge. And I didn't want to talk to you or see you."

"So you stayed in Brooklyn?" Spot interrupted. It was one of the things he never understood about Tay. She claimed she wanted to leave, but she stayed. She stayed in the one place he was sure to find her.

"Yes, but that was because-I mean, I stayed because it was just-Race told me-forget it."

"No, I want to hear it. Why did you stay in Brooklyn? Was it because of him?"

"Race? No."

"Not Higgins. The man you're going to marry." It wasn't how he wanted to phrase it but she was still in the room with him and he wanted to keep it that way. "Does he know where you were?"

"No."

"Awful lot of secrets you're keeping there, doll."

"I'm not talking about him with you."

"Fine, but I still want an answer. If you didn't want to see me or talk to me, why did you stay in Brooklyn?"

"'Cause it ain't exactly like I was making money in that hellhole so I planned on staying until I made enough to buy a ticket out of here. Christ, you think I'd stay in Brooklyn if I didn't have to? That's rich. You're the only one who loves this city above all else-"

"Not above you."

"-don't you dare. I told you already I'm done listening to your bullshit." Tay took half a step out of the door and then turned around almost immediately. "You know what your problem is, Conlon? You think one look or one word and I'm just going to fall apart all over again. I spent two years trying to shut the door on us, on you, and I plan on keeping it that way."

"Trying to?"

"Don't pick apart my words, you know what I meant."

"You're the one who said it, doll. So, want to tell me what happened there? Might as well get it out with me 'cause that shit'll mess with you."

Tay paused for a moment and Spot felt his heart leap into his throat. It was the perfect time for her to leave. She hated talking about her time in the Refuge and he had no doubt she'd feel the same way about the reformatory she'd been sent to. Tay considered the proposal for what seemed like a never ending amount of time. She moved further away from the bedroom while Spot watched carefully before taking her seat at the table.

"I'm going to need a stiff drink to get through this," she muttered before reaching for the bottle of whiskey. Spot followed her over to the table and returned to the chair he'd been using earlier.

The sound of the pen scratching across the surface of the table was the only sound in the room. Tay was used to the silence by that point but she could tell by his grip on the pen and the tension in his shoulders that Racetrack was unnerved.

"That all you got, kid?" Race asked as he gestured toward the envelope Tay held. She nodded at him, unable to break the rule even when addressing a friend. She'd come with nothing and she was going to leave with nothing.

Race handed the pen back and turned to leave. Tay found herself holding her breath until they reached the gate at the entrance. Only after she heard the metal crash closed behind them did she believe that she was finally free.

"Nice place you had back there, kid," Race joked as they walked down the street.

"Sure," Tay muttered. She was busily counting each step and the only thing she could think of was to get as far away as possible.

"How'd you know where to find me?"

"That old man from the lodging house. You gave him your address. So that jerk from the Society tracked you down for me."

"Kinda surprised you got in touch, kid. I figured you were long gone by now," Race told her.

"I'm not staying," Tay answered forcefully. "As soon as I can collect enough dough, I'm leaving this place behind."

"Anything I can do to help?"

"Yeah," Tay said before hesitating. Every fiber of her being wanted to know the answer to one question. "I-can you tell me-I mean, I want to know where Spot is."

"Well, that explains the envelope," Race chuckled.

"This ain't for him. It's just the address they gave me for a place to stay."

"Truth is, kid, I ain't heard from him in awhile. But that ain't unusual since he comes and goes as he pleases."

"Don't tell him where I am, okay? Please, Race."

"You do realize he's been-well, nevermind."

"No, go ahead," Tay prompted.

"Let's just say he ain't in a good place, kid. Not that it's your fault or anything, I ain't trying to say that. So if you plan on sticking around-"

"I don't."

"Ok, well, just make sure you keep your head down while you're here."

"You ain't gotta worry about me, I can handle it."

The whiskey bottle was empty by the time Tay finished with her story and she sat there, staring down the bottle with that same haunted look in her eyes that Spot remembered seeing earlier that night. He wasn't sure what kind of story he was expecting but the cruel and inhuman treatment Tay had fought through for two years made Spot ashamed of himself. He regretted pushing her so hard and wanted to do something, anything, to make it right.

"I'm sorry, Anna."

"I don't need your pity," she snapped.

"No, I meant that I'm sorry for everything. I never wanted you to go through anything like that again, doll."

"Stop it." Tay pushed the bottle away and put her head in her hands as she stared at the table. "Please don't lie to me. Not right now."

Spot got up and went around to the other side of the table. He took one of Tay's hands in his and knelt down beside her. Her hair hung down over her eyes and he brushed it out of the way so he could see her face.

"Look at me," he requested gently. Her eyes met his for a fleeting moment. "I'm sorry, Anna, for every terrible thing I did to you. I'm sorry that I treated you like that and that you felt like running to that place was the only way to get away from me."

"I said stop it!" Tay yanked out of Spot's grasp and pushed her chair backwards as she got up. Tears started streaming down her face as Tay turned her back on him and he got back to his feet. Tay's whole body was shaking as he put his arms around her. He thought she'd pull away again but instead she turned around and started crying with her face pressed up against his chest. It wasn't the victory he wanted but he'd take it.

The room was spinning and Tay's thoughts tumbled about as she held onto Spot even though she wanted nothing more than to curl up under the quilt and forget the whole world. She had to get away from him. It was impossible to think straight and she hated that his simple touch sent her reeling. It had been almost three years. Surely that should have been more than enough time to rid herself of him. But at the same time she knew it would be impossible to break the bond between them. It ended the exact way she'd predicted. One word and she'd fallen right back into his arms.

"I need to go," Tay said as she wiped the tears from her face. It must have been at least the ninth time that she'd said as much and yet she didn't want to leave. Spot continued to hold her close and Tay couldn't muster up any desire to push him away. She had spent so many lonely nights, staring up into the dark and contemplating the horrors she'd gone through behind the reformatory walls. The lies she'd created after leaving had piled on, one after the other, until she was sure they'd swallow her whole.

"Stay with me," Spot told her quietly.

"I can't."

"Please."

It wasn't the way things were supposed to be. There she was drunkenly crying on the shoulder of the one person she had hoped to never see again. At least that's what she had told herself. But the truth was Spot was the only one who could possibly understand her and Tay knew it. Her intention had been to keep what had happened to her in the reformatory to herself but she'd decided to follow Spot's advice and let it all out. After all, he'd been the one who had taught her how to fight and how to survive the Refuge. Everything he'd said was true. She had stayed in Brooklyn far longer than was necessary. Because of him. Every night since leaving the reformatory she had waited and hoped that he would find her.

"Tell me something," Tay murmured. "Do you mean it?"

"You know me better than that, doll. I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it."

"I need to hear you say it."

There was a long pause during which Tay found herself holding her breath. She needed to hear him say it, for him to admit out loud that he was capable of feeling love, that he was capable of feeling anything. Spot held her face in his hands, brushing her hair back away and Tay found herself lost in his eyes. There was no malice, none of the coldness to which she had become so accustomed to seeing over the years.

"I love you."

Upon hearing those words Tay flashed back to the first time he'd said that to her and was surprised that she didn't have the same sense she'd had before that he was lying. It seemed almost impossible, given what she knew about him, but his words seemed genuine and she didn't find herself struggling to believe what he'd told her was the truth. She blamed most of what she felt on the whiskey. It was so much harder to believe him when she was sober and in her right mind.

"Do you? Do you-love me?" There was hesitation behind the question and Tay realized that while she'd always felt love for him, she had never been able to bring herself to say it first. She had always been too afraid of what his reaction would be and the chance that he would not or could not say it back.

"Of course I love you. I've always loved you," Tay confessed. There was nothing else left for him to take from her and so she gave him the last thing she had. She'd held so tight to her love for him. She'd always relied on him to listen and even those times when she had tried hiding parts of herself from him, she still would go to him willingly. To have him listen, to give advice, to console her. It was a difficult pill to swallow, realizing that she'd always allowed him inside her heart and mind in ways she would never allow any other person. Even at his cruelest, she would return to him like a moth to a flame and it occurred to her that it had always been that way, since the very day she'd met him.

She was frozen, caught in his embrace and the feeling of his arms holding her gently. He had never been gentle with her. She could feel the warmth of his breath across her skin and it sent a shiver down her spine. He brushed his cheek against hers and she felt his lips against her throat where the leather cord still hung around her neck. She'd almost forgotten how good he was at the game. How well he played pretend. Tay wanted it to stay like that forever but history had taught her too well and she told herself that she wanted to hear the truth.

"Why did you say it?"

Spot brought his head up and looked at her with confusion. "What?"

"You showed up on my doorstep, brought me here, slept with me, and then you say that you can't tell me you're sorry but now all that's changed?"

"Don't do this, doll."

"Don't do what? All I'm doing is asking you a question. What changed your mind?"

"Nothing changed my mind. I meant what I said-"

"Are you kidding me? After everything else you've said tonight you want to turn around and lie to my face?"

"I'm not lying." Tay heard it in that moment. Cold, cruel, lethal. Everything she knew him to be and knew would not change. No one could change that much. She took a step backward and stumbled against the chair when he caught her and wrapped his arms tightly around her. She pushed against his chest but Spot was unyielding. Tay felt the tears spring up in her eyes and she didn't want him to see but there was no hiding from him.

"Let go of me! Do you know how much I hate you? You took everything from me and played your twisted little games. I'm not doing this anymore. Let go!"

"No. You're gonna listen to me, for once."

"I've always listened to-"

"Is that what you tell yourself, Anna? You listened to me when I told you to stay away from the Manhattan boys? You listened when I told you to stay out of Brighton? Away from the boardwalk? To not go to the rally? To get rid of that gun and stay away? You listened to me all those times, right?"

"At least I don't lie-"

"I won't say it again." He loosened his grip on her but not so much that Tay could escape his grasp. "You left without a word and were gone for almost three years, Anna. How did you expect me to feel?"

"I-I don't know."

"And don't act like I'm the only one here who plays games. You better take a good look in the mirror first, doll."

If it had been a game, she had forgotten the rules. But Spot changed everything on a whim, to keep her off balance, to keep her at arm's length where she had belonged. Tay had no illusions about that. She could play games, too. But she gave too much of herself away to ever win. That was why she held on so deeply to the thin shreds of anger and cursed him, blamed him, hated him. Because eventually it would all slip through her hands and she'd be left standing alone with the truth. She loved him. No matter how well she played the game, she could never escape the end result.

"So which is it, Spot? You're sorry or you ain't? 'Cause I'm not sure what you want me to believe."

"I'm sorry that you went through that. I'm sorry that I drove you that far from me."

"But you're not sorry for what you did to me?"

There was another pause and she could see the conflict in his eyes. She never understood how he felt, how he grew twisted up inside as he listened to her story. He had left marks on her skin but that place had left her with inner scars that would never heal. But he wasn't innocent and the things she had gone through with him were things she could never recover from.

"We were kids. I was trying to protect you," Spot explained. He seemed tired and there was a look in his eyes that told her so much more than his words could. "I never meant for it-"

Tay cut him off, kissing him hard and there was the briefest hesitation before Spot kissed her back with a force that equaled hers. Her eyes caught his brief look of surprise as she pulled him into the bedroom and down against her. It wasn't right or proper but Tay no longer cared. She wanted to forget, she needed to forget. His touch was as cool as ice but Tay felt her skin burn each place he touched her.

Note: Thank you to everybody for your patience! Sorry this bit is short. I might add to it a bit later on so I appreciate any readers/reviews! Thank you for reading!