CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
[as good as strangers]
"don't cut me out of your life"
Andi sat on the rooftop, wringing her hands together as she stared at the once white, now bloodstained pair of converse on her feet. Saya stood a few feet away at the edge of the roof, desperately clinging to the bottle of booze the two had swiped on the way up.
After the fight in the restaurant was over and the adrenaline finally started to leave Andi's system, the blonde became all too aware of her injuries. Her leg was sliced at the calf, dripping blood down her leg and making it difficult to walk without a limp, although she managed. Her head throbbed from when the Kurokis knocked her unconscious. She was sure she had at least a minor concussion, which only upset her more because it meant that she would have to stay awake longer when all her body craved was rest.
In fact, drinking alcohol was a big no-no too. Fuck it. She had been through some shit tonight.
She was thankful that she did not wear any of her favorite clothes since everything she had on was going in the trash as soon as the opportunity arose. Saya had pushed her to go to the infirmary originally, but the blonde girl refused.
Viktor and Petra needed the full attention of the school's medical staff. She could wait.
Saya passed the bottle to Andi who took a long swig before handing it back. She was more than willing to numb her pain with alcohol for the time being, although she was careful not to drink too much because Saya definitely needed it more.
Their silence was interrupted as Marcus greeted them.
"Hey," he said, walking closer to the two with his hands stuffed in his pockets. "You don't have to talk about it."
"Good," Saya answered shortly while Andi held back her smart remark. That's kind of why they weren't talking, she thought. However, she was tired and being a bitch took more effort than she could muster.
"But," Marcus started again, taking a seat next to the blonde girl. He sighed, "Today was crazy fucked up. So if you did want to..."
Saya twisted the bottle in her hand, her words slurred. Although, Andi could not quite tell if it was from the booze or the tears the dark-haired girl was choking back. "I was just thinking about what a dick my cousin was." Andi gave a fond smile and let out a light chuckle while Marcus looked on confused. Saya stepped back from the ledge and continued. "Sparred with him my whole life. He was two feet taller than me and never went easy."
"Here," Marcus muttered, holding out his hand for the bottle. Saya relented, handing him the half-full bottle. "Not really a fair fight."
"The humiliation was supposed to make me better," Saya replied.
"Did it?" he asked as he took a sip.
Saya sighed, "Yeah."
The Kuroki girl sat down on Andi's other side as the blonde spoke up for the first time. "The unfair fights are the ones you learn the most from, the ones that stick with you."
"The fucked up part is that I think he was harder on me than my brother because he wanted me to be great." Saya paused. "I hated him for it, but it worked." She paused again and Andi watched as she choked back a sob, swallowing hard. Her next words were rougher although her outward appearance remained stoic. "I didn't think it was gonna feel this way."
"It's not supposed to feel good," Marcus replied.
Andi nodded her head. "Yeah, I mean, he was your family, regardless of what happened between the two of you in the past. At the end of the day, remember that he was just a pawn of the Syndicate, remember who was really behind all of this, who pitted the two of you against each other. If your cousin wanted you to be great, despite everything that happened tonight, I'm sure he'd be proud of you, even honored."
The blonde had no idea if her words were actually comforting, but every one of them was from the heart. Andi and her mother did not have the best relationship, but that did not mean that if something happened to Lorraine that she would just be okay with it. She would be devastated if something happened to her mother. Apparently, her words were at least a little comforting as the Kuroki girl leaned over to rest her head on the blonde's shoulder.
Andi gently placed her hand on top of Saya's, the only comforting touch she was sure the other girl would accept.
The group sat in silence again for a moment before Andi held her hand out for the bottle. Marcus passed it to her and she lifted it to her mouth and took another sip.
Marcus' eyes were drawn to her raised arm. "You're bleeding still," he said, catching her attention.
Andi lowered the bottle and handed it to Saya who lifted her head from the blonde's shoulder to look at the wound as well. The blonde sighed in irritation. Yet another reason why drinking probably was not the best idea; alcohol makes you bleed more.
"Shit," she said, the bloodstain on her tattered long-sleeve shirt growing as the once clotted injury reopened. "I didn't even realize with everything going on. It probably needs stitches."
Saya stood up again, "You should go to the infirmary now. Enough time has passed that they should have Petra and Vik stable."
Andi nodded and stood to walk away, wincing as she put pressure on her injured leg for the first time since coming up to the roof. Saya nodded at her leg, "You should probably get that checked too. And your head."
"Thank you mother," the blonde quipped sarcastically, continuing toward the stairwell.
Just as she opened the door, she heard Marcus call out. "Hey, wait up."
She sighed, not willing to have this conversation right now. She glanced at him, waiting to hear what he had to say.
The Latino boy shrugged. "Figured you'd never ask for help but I may as well offer it to you anyway."
"Alright, come on," she relented. He helped her down the stairs, making sure that she did not lose her balance and dive headfirst down the concrete steps. Once they reached the ground floor and began the rest of their walk to the infirmary, Marcus spoke up again.
"What changed between yesterday and today? What happened between us?"
Andi was too exhausted—and possibly intoxicated—to dodge questions and give half-truths, so instead she was honest. Maybe even brutally so.
"You scare me like no one else ever has, Marcus."
He seemed taken aback by her answer but let her continue. "We moved so quickly and I had to hit the brakes because I was losing control. And when you lose control, you crash. I don't regret anything. That night at Shabnam's was great. I just—I can't pretend like I've known you for years and let down all of my guards with you so easily. Not when I've been trained to do the exact opposite. I like you, but maybe we just need to be friends before we can be anything more."
His silence at her statement told her enough. She desperately wanted the conversation to end there, but once she started talking, she could not hold back the word vomit.
"We went into this blindly, trying to convince ourselves that we were more than just strangers to each other. Whether you want to admit it or not, I have to be honest with myself for once. For so long I shied away from any attachment, liking anyone or even loving them, that when I met you I could tell you felt that same loneliness and longing to just... be with someone.
"Then, last night, you tell me that you see me, but how? How can you see through me when you don't even know me?"
Andi stopped just down the hall from their destination, turning to look Marcus in the eyes. They glimmered with hurt at her words, but deep down, he knew they were true. The emotions from the past twenty-four hours had built up inside her and now the dam was collapsing.
Salty tears welled up in the corner of her narrowed eyes. "I can be cruel and emotionless, a little psychotic at times. Do you see that? That's a part of me too. Not all of it is some show that I put on for the assholes at this school. Some of that is me. There is a darkness in me that has been there since before I ever set foot in King's Dominion, and it may never disappear."
Marcus pulled away from her, "So that's it then? You're just going to push me away entirely? We can be friends, Andi. If that is all we can be, for just right now or forever—we can be friends. Just don't cut me out of your life. Please."
I don't even know if I could do that if I tried, Andi thought, although she did not dare utter those words aloud. "Okay," she muttered under her breath.
They stood in the empty hallway, less than a foot of distance between them. Distance that Andi put there. After a second, Andi leaned in, wrapping her arms around Marcus' waist and burying her face in his chest. She felt his arms cradle her gently as if trying not to break the fragile girl even more.
Andi was a girl at war with herself. One part of her was stone cold, pushing everyone away so she could never get hurt. However, she was too late. She had already been hurt and the other part of her was desperately searching for someone to pick up the pieces of her life and help her put it back together. She was desperate for someone to love her, while at the same time being afraid of what that meant.
Andi had been stuck in the infirmary all night. The staff stitched up her cuts on her arm and leg and confirmed her suspected concussion, which is why they wanted to monitor her throughout the rest of the night and into the early morning hours.
She returned to her dorm as others were waking up to get ready for their days. Thankfully, it was Sunday and the blonde could ignore the responsibility of her classwork for another day.
Stumbling into her room, she noted Brandy's absence and sent a silent thank you to whatever higher power provided a semblance of organization to the worldly chaos. She shed the gray sweatshirt, pants, and thin slippers that the infirmary provided for her after they cut her shirt to shreds to treat her wounded arm. Actually, they provided the whole iconic look to her when they trashed her clothes into a biohazard bin due to all of the blood.
Kicking the clothes aside with her good leg, she changed into her pajamas, fully prepared to sleep until Monday morning. Unfortunately, those plans were squashed as her door swung open.
"Excuse me, bitch. Don't you know how to knock?" she said, watching Simon approach her from the door.
"No," he retorted quickly. "Besides, if I did knock, would you have answered?"
"Absolutely not. Now, can you please fuck off? Whatever you have to tell me can wait," she practically growled rolling over to face the wall, trying to the tall boy's presence.
"Actually, it can't wait," he said, tossing the envelope that Lex had given him onto her stomach.
Even with her eyes closed, she could feel the light tap of the envelope hitting her. She begrudgingly opened her eyes and sat up, shooting Simon a glare before her eyes fell to what he threw on her.
She picked up the envelope with just her name scrawled on the front and as she turned it over Simon spoke up. "It came for you yesterday while you were in detention." Her eyes finally rested on the Ouroboros figure outlined in the wax seal and her entire body went rigid. "Figured it was pretty damn important and best not to wait," he told her sternly.
Forcing her hands to move, Andi popped the seal and opened the letter cautiously. Who knew what was inside? It could be filled with poison or something else that was equally dangerous. She was only somewhat relieved to see only paper inside.
She pulled out the paper, a takeout menu from the Chinese restaurant that they just fought the Kuroki cousins in the night before. Hesitantly, she opened the menu. Her breath caught at the familiar, messy writing.
See ya soon, Blondie!
- A