Headlong Toward Disaster

by peytfan4ever

The space was suppose to bring them back together better than ever. Not pull them apart further and lead him into the arms of another. She doesn't know why she ever suggested it. All she knows now is she's alone and he's apparently making out with other girls on the apparatus floor. She's not sure how she's going to do this all on her own. She's having his child and he's moving on.

32. Facing It Together

A/N: Hello! I am sorry for the break on this one, but I have finally got this next chapter ready for you all.

Thank you all so much for your response to the last chapter! I am so happy that so many of you enjoyed it. Now, on with the next...

---

Casey

"So..."

My eyes move from the paper in front of me to Kelly as he looked at me expectantly. My brows furrow in confusion, unsure what he was wanting.

"So... what?" I question.

Kelly rolls his eyes, setting down his own cup of coffee and looking around our kitchen before settling his eyes back on me. "You and Dawson?"

My eyes widen, I nearly choke on my own saliva. "W-what?" I stutter, unsure what Kelly knew, or heard, at this point.

Kelly chuckles shaking his head. "Damn, you are too easy to mess with..." He mutters. "I'll take that as a yes, by the way."

"A yes to what?"

Rolling his eyes that I seemingly was not keeping up with the rather confusing line of questioning, Kelly shakes his head. "A yes to you and Dawson." He supplements, I do my best to give little in a reaction, still cautious of what all Kelly knew, and what all Gabby and I planned to share about our recent reunion the night before. "Don't sweat it, Case. Gabby and I talked yesterday when you were putting Jesse down." He fills in, and I am still confused. "I mean, she just told me the cliff note version, but as for how I know you two finally got your act together? Well, that is just written all over your face."

I scoff, shaking my head at him, but unable to wipe the smile off my face, knowing that his words were true. I hadn't wiped the smile off my face all morning. There was a shift in the air in our apartment and there was no denying that. The happiness that was radiating off of Gabby and I both unmistakable.

Kelly grins at my reaction, "Really, Casey. I'm happy for you two." He says sincerely. "It was about damn time." He finishes and I can't help but laugh lightly.

"Yeah, no arguments here... but thanks, man. Gabby and I both really appreciate everything you have done for us both as a couple and individually over the past year or more. You've been there for us both and I don't know if we would have made it here without you honestly." I tell him sincerely, knowing that despite how much Gabby and I wanted to be together we were both stubborn as hell and without all of Kelly's advice and when needed, kick In the ass, I wasn't sure how long it would have actually taken us to get where we are today.

"Eh, you're both stubborn as can be, there is no denying that, but you would have gotten there eventually. With or without my help. I have no doubt about that."

I smirk, his words highlighting my own thoughts. "Thank you, Sev... by the way, I'm not really sure where we stand on the telling people..." I trail off and watch as his eyebrows furrow in questioning. "...I mean with us still being in the position we are with work, and how we were planning to wait." I explain further, "We just haven't discussed it yet. With shift today, it's obviously something we need to, and soon, but for now, just uh... keep this between us, alright?"

Severide nods, saluting me jokingly as he gets up to put his coffee cup in the sink. "I won't say a word. Scout's honor."

I shake my head at him as he chuckles, moving past me and down the hall to his room to get ready for our workday.

I finish up my own cup of coffee and fold up the newspaper before moving to the sink to rinse my mug and heading for the bedroom to get myself ready for work.

When I step through the door, I smile brightly at the sight of Jesse sound asleep in the middle of the bed, pillows tucked around him to ensure he wouldn't roll anywhere. Though by the light snores coming from him I was almost positive our little man would not be going anywhere. The boy had fallen asleep not long after Gabby had finished feeding him and once we had separated for Gabby to get a shower in before work and me to get a much-needed cup of coffee in Gabby had expertly settled him onto the bed and tucked the extra padding in around him.

I pull my eyes away from the sleeping boy and head towards our bathroom, knowing Gabby was bound to be there. I knock quietly before pushing the door open, finding her at the counter in nothing but her towel, her hair still wet and in its natural state of tighter curls as she finished off her makeup. My heart rate picks up at the sight of her alone and I slowly make my way to her, our eyes meeting through the mirror as I step behind her, a shy smirk filling her features.

"Hi." She says softly, her eyes not leaving mine.

"Hi." I offer back, the smiles covering our faces unmoving as we both take in the familiarity of this. Of having this again. This comfort and openness that had been a part of who we were for so long and that we had shied away from over the last year, doing what we could to make the transition of being broken up and living together easier. Now there was nothing standing between us. That comfort we always had with one another never had left us, but now there was no holding back, no tiptoeing around each other to ensure we never crossed a line. There were no lines. We were just able to be us, and that felt freeing in so many ways.

I slowly wrap my arms around her towel-covered waist, pulling her back flush to my chest as I held her close, a squeak of surprise leaving her lips as I bent my head down, pressing a kiss to her bare shoulder and feeling the immediate reaction my action brings as goosebumps erupt along her skin.

I press a deeper kiss to her shoulder, trailing up to her neck and back to her shoulder before biting down on the skin of her shoulder lightly, another gasp of surprise leaving her as she shivers. I smirk, before resting my chin there and looking back up at her, our eyes meeting through the mirror once more as she bites back a smirk and shakes her head at me.

"You sir, are dangerous." She scolds lightly.

I grin back at her, tilting my head in question and earning rolled eyes in response. "Why? I can't show some appreciation to my beautiful girl?" I question.

I smile in accomplishment at the blush that tints her cheeks and the way she sucks in her bottom lip to hide her reaction at my words. I press a lighter kiss to her shoulder before squeezing my arms tighter around her, hugging her body to mine and waiting for her eyes to meet mine once again before I start speaking.

"This is nice," I say softly, her head tilting to the side as she takes in my words. "Being here, with you... Having this," I explain further, her features softening. "I missed this."

Gabby's hand comes up, cradling my cheek as she smiles softly through the mirror. "I missed this too, baby." My smile widens at the term of endearment. Something that was so simple, but had been so long since I had heard. It used to fall off her lips so casually. The term of endearment used by her almost as much as my first name... but the times I had heard it in the last few months were very few and far between. The times she had said it being in such higher stress or emotional moments where I had no time to dwell on it... but now? Now I was soaking it in and committing it to memory.

"What?" Gabby asks softly, pulling me from my thoughts as I meet her confused stare, clearly wondering what had me going off into my own little world. I shake my head, offering her a reassuring smile as I tighten my arms around her and shake my head lightly, still not moving my head from her shoulder as I meet her stare.

"Nothing. I just love you, that's all."

Gabby smiles, turning herself in my embrace. My arms don't move far from their place around her as she turns to face me, once she is settled my hands settle low on her back as hers rest on my chest. The soft look in her eyes has my heart rate soaring.

"I love you." She says softly before she is pushing herself up to connect our lips in a sweet kiss. We pull apart once air becomes a necessity and Gabby settles her head on my chest, both of us settling comfortably into the others embrace as we enjoy the quiet moment together.

I run a soothing hand up and down her still towel-covered back, pressing a long kiss to her still damp hair at the top of her head as we sway lightly.

"So, Kelly knows." I start, Gabby giving little in form of a reaction as she hums in acknowledgment. "Which since he said you talked to him last night, I assumed you already know," I tease lightly.

Gabby chuckles, her shoulders shrugging as she stays wrapped in my embrace. "Yeah, we talked." She says simply.

I nod, though I know from her position she can't see it. "I uh... I told him to keep it quiet for now." I start, treading lightly. "I wasn't sure what we were doing, you know?" I feel Gabby tense lightly, my brows furrowing. "I mean with our work position right now, we were planning on waiting, and well obviously we are not now... but I wasn't sure if we wanted to tell the house or chief," I explain further. Gabby pulls back enough for me to see her face now. Her eyes cast down as she gnaws on her bottom lip. I could feel the tension that had settled into her shoulders at my words and I sigh. "I wish we could just... ignore it? Continue on in this happy bubble, but with shift today, we should figure it out."

Gabby nods her acknowledgment but offers little else in the form of a reaction.

I run my hands up and down her bare arms as she leans back into the counter. "What are you thinking?" I ask, staying silent after and giving her a moment to collect her thoughts. Her silence letting me know she wasn't ignoring me but needed a moment to think before responding.

"I'm thinking we still have another six weeks left of this arrangement..." She starts gently, "...and I don't want to spend those six weeks back to where we were before last night." She offers quietly, finally looking up to meet my eyes. "I don't want to go back to pretending... now that we have this again, I don't know that I can."

I nod, "Me either." Gabby smiles softly at my words. "I don't want us to go backwards, Gabby. It took us this long to get here, and I don't want anything setting us back to where we were before. I know we said that we would wait, and we didn't, but now that we have this, I'm not willing to give it up again."

The smile that fills her face lets me know we are on the same page and I can't help but grin back at her. "So, do you think we should tell the Chief?" She asks cautiously, clearly unsure what to do in this position.

I sigh, scratching the back of my neck nervously. "Honestly? I have no idea." I tell her. "He was only willing to do this knowing we weren't in the same position as last time, and now we are... but I also don't want to lie to him. Or to put that pressure on us to lie."

Gabby gnaws on her bottom lip once more. "We're in this, right? You and me? No going back." Gabby asks gently, and my brows furrow at her words.

"Of course."

She nods, biting back a smile at my words. "Then I think we should tell him the truth." She decides. "We put ourselves in this position again because we wanted to come out of it better than before... and if we start it off by lying and sneaking around, we aren't helping anything. Either way we know there is only another 6 weeks of this. I'd rather do that with the Chief knowing the truth, no matter what consequences that brings for us, than us having to sneak around and hide how we feel at work."

I nod, reaching out to run my hands up and down her arms as a smile pulls on my lips. "Okay. So, we tell him the truth."

Gabby smiles. "Yeah?" She asks as if she was expecting me to argue her point.

"Yeah. You're right, I'd rather take whatever consequences that come from being honest rather than deal with what would come if we weren't." I tell her honestly. "You told me before that this is just a job... but what we have? It's everything... and you couldn't have been more right. We lost sight of that last time, and I won't let that happen this time."

Gabby bites back a smile as she steps closer to me, pushing off the counter, and wrapping her arms around my neck, her fingers combing through the hair at the nape of my neck as she looked up at me.

"You are very charming, you know?" She teases lightly.

My brows quirk, my tongue running along my bottom lip as I hold onto her hips. "Well, I have been told as much a time or two."

She raises her brows, humming in response. "Oh yeah? By who?" She teases.

I lean forward, my lips barely ghosting over hers as I respond. "Just this unbelievably beautiful woman, who happens to be the love of my life."

"Lucky girl," Gabby responds lightly before pushing herself forward and capturing my lips in hers. Our battle for dominance ensuing as both of our grips around each other tightens. Our mouths fusing together as we kiss. Only pulling apart once air becomes a necessity.

Our foreheads rest together, our breaths mixing as we stay close, both knowing we can't go any further, but neither of us wanting the moment to end. Enjoying our time together getting to just be us for as long as we could before we were at work and having to remain professional, no matter if we told Chief the truth or not, which we decided we were, we still had to uphold the fact that we were in a position of Candidate and Lieutenant and while at work, we still needed to keep that relationship in place.

The smile that fills Gabby's face when I open my eyes has my own smile widening, my grip on her hips tightening. "What are you smiling at, crazy girl?"

She gnaws on her bottom lip, her fingers ghosting across the hairs on the back of my neck as she stays close. "Nothing... just you. This." She says softly, her voice trailing off. "It reminds me of before." She continues, the softness and vulnerability in her words taking me by surprise, but nonetheless have a warmth spreading through my chest.

I squeeze her hip lightly, before reaching up and tucking the hair behind her ear. "I liked before," I respond quietly, matching her gentle smile before leaning in for a soft kiss, feeling Gabby's smile against my lips before she is reciprocating the action.

Gabby hums lightly as we pull apart, "We should finish getting ready." She prompts.

I groan, though I know she was right. I press one tamer kiss to her lips before pulling away, looking her towel-covered form up and down and shaking my head. "Yes, and you need to put some damn clothes on," I growl out watching as a blush hits her cheeks.

I press one last kiss to her forehead before turning to the shower and watching as she heads back out to the bedroom, hopefully to find some clothes.

Dawson

Telling the Chief had been an unnerving experience, to say the least.

After so much time of convincing him that there was nothing going on with Matt and I, only to have us going back on that word two weeks after I started back on 81... I was sure he was unimpressed, but he had remained neutral in his expression.

Matt and I had gone in as a united front, both wanting to come clean with the Chief, but not willing to jeopardize the relationship we had worked so hard to get back to, no matter what that meant for me finishing out my candidacy. It wasn't something I had mentioned to Matt this morning, but the thought of Chief rescinding his offer for me to finish out my candidacy on Truck had weighed heavily on my mind since we discussed what to do this morning.

It wasn't something I had mentioned, because it wasn't something that mattered. If Chief had rescinded his offer, I would have dealt with it. I would have been placed somewhere else, or I would have gone back to ambo while it was worked out. It wasn't something I had wanted to dwell on because it seemed so minuscule compared to everything else. I knew if I had mentioned the fears I had then Matt would have done whatever he could to ensure I finished out my candidacy and that wasn't what I wanted him to take on. I didn't want him to have to fight that fight for me.

As much as I loved my job, and as much as I wanted to finish out what was left of my candidacy on 81 with my firehouse family, as long as Matt and I were okay... as long as I had our family, I would be okay.

Being back together with Matt, having us be a real family for the first time since Jesse was born, it put things into a new perspective. It was all that mattered.

Matt, and Jesse... our family... it was all that mattered.

As long as I had them, I knew I would be okay.

But thankfully, Boden had surprised us both with his reaction to our news and was understanding. Or at the very least, he was as understanding as he could be given the circumstances and the situation we were once again putting him in. In the end, he made it clear that as long as we were still professional on calls and that our relationship didn't affect our work then there would be no issues. The Chief made it clear where we stood with him professionally... but personally he had told us "it was about damn time" right before we had left his office. His smile letting us both know no matter what feelings he may not let on as our Chief, as our friend, he was more than happy for us.

His words were something I think both Matt and I agreed with wholeheartedly.

After our talk with Chief we had been sent out on a grueling call and after a long shower and making the guys a quick lunch I had retired to Matt's office to pump. It was late in the afternoon and I had been needing to for some time now. The fullness in my chest settling heavy as we had finished up our lunches.

I had sent Matt a knowing look before heading off to his office, discretely letting him know where I'd be for a little while.

Chief had offered up one of the conference rooms, letting me know not long after I returned to work that I could claim it whenever I needed, but I had yet to do so. Always feeling more comfortable settled down in Matt's office, whether he was here or not. This was where I always found myself. Like now, while I was alone in here, I felt a calm as I looked up from my phone and over to Matt's desk. Multiple picture frames littering the wooden desk and shelf above it.

I remember so long ago when a picture of Hallie sat there... then there was a picture of me in my turn out gear that he had once told me always brought a smile to his face. For the longest time, he only had that one picture, and even in our breakup and separation he had never removed my picture and I had never asked about it, but I'd be lying if I said seeing it still there every shift didn't make a warmth spread in my chest. That it had given me hope in some of our darker times.

Now though, that picture was accompanied by many others.

There were a couple of different pictures of Jesse alone. One in his firetruck onesie and matching red cap, and another of him sprawled out on his blanket during tummy time, an adorable baby grin covering his face. There was one of me sat crossed leg in the rocking chair Matt had built, a sleeping Jesse curled into my chest and a toothy smile on my face. I could remember the day, and it wasn't long before Matt had returned to work. Jesse was still so tiny, and I remember practically pleading with Matt not to take my picture. That I looked terrible, was exhausted, and did not want that to be captured in time.

Matt had given me his classic Casey smile, telling me I looked beautiful, and that these were memories I'd want remembered... if that wasn't enough to convince me, the guilt trip he'd given telling me that he needed a picture to of his two favorite people to put on his desk when he returned to work would have been. I couldn't help but smile at it now, while I was no doubt tired and could see it written into my features, I looked genuinely happy... and I was.

The final picture sat proudly on his desk was of the three of us. Jesse cradled carefully in his one arm while his other was wrapped tight around my waist holding me against his side as we smiled brightly for the camera. It was one Kelly had taken a few weeks ago when we had all gone out for breakfast. Jesse looked absolutely adorable in his khaki pants and a light blue collared shirt. His looking matching his fathers.

I had to admit, we were a beautiful family... and we made the most adorable baby in the world. I knew the way we started our family wasn't the most conventional, but there was not a single part of me that regretted it. This life was all I ever wanted, and despite the circumstances that led us here, I was incredibly happy with the life Matt and I created together.

The quick knock at Matt's door before it is flung open has me nearly jumping out of my skin.

"Hey, Lieutenant. Can I talk to..." Mouch's wide, horrified eyes find mine as I reach for the closest thing to cover myself.

"Mouch!" I nearly yelp. Scrambling for my t-shirt that is laid beside me to cover my chest that was still hooked up to the breast pump.

Mouch turns quickly. Throwing his hand over his eyes, "Jesus, Dawson. I'm sorry." He stutters. Nearly running into Casey's desk as he goes to leave. A string of curse words leaving his lips as he holds onto his knee he smacked with his free hand and heads out the door. "I'm so sorry." He shouts once more, nearly slamming the door behind him and closing me off from the outside world once more.

I shake my head, huffing out a breath as I finish with the pumping machine and put it all together, packing it back up and getting the bag of milk tucked into the cooler to go to the fridge. I quickly make myself presentable once again before swinging the bag over my shoulder and heading for the locker room to put it away then moving to the common room with the cooler bag.

When I step through the common room doors most of the house is already settled around the room, my hard eyes immediately fall to Mouch, both of us shifting uncomfortably.

"Hey Dawson," Cruz calls, my eyes snap from Mouch as I shift on my feet, meeting Joe's from across the room. He looks at me wearily for a moment before continuing. "What's for dinner tonight?"

I spare one last brief look to Mouch before moving to the kitchen to put the cooler away. "Uh... I don't know yet." I finally answer Cruz, looking around the fridge, forcing my mind away from what just happened and trying to think of an acceptable dinner for us all.

"What is going on with you?" I hear Hermann ask Mouch who is still shifting uncomfortably in his seat on the couch, I shake my head, looking through the ingredients in the fridge I had to work with. "Your talk with Casey go that bad?" Hermann prods, and I nearly choke on the saliva in my mouth. All eyes flying to me as I stand up straight.

"You good Dawson?" Otis asks, and I quickly nod, forcing a reassuring smile as I pull a water bottle from the fridge and drink nearly half of it.

I decide an easy meal of spaghetti and meatballs is what's for dinner and pull some ingredients out to make a salad to go with it before heading back to the counter to get started. Casey is soon walking through the double doors from the garage and I look up meeting his eyes, a smile passing between the two of us.

We had yet to tell the house we were back together, for now deciding to just keep it to ourselves, at least for this shift until we could talk more about it now that the Chief knew.

I look back down at the salad in front of me, continuing to cut up the ingredients while the noodles boiled on the stove along with the sauce that was simmering.

"Lieutenant, where'd you come from?" Hermann asks and my eyes snap up, Mouch looking at Hermann in fear.

Casey just looks confused, "The garage. Had a few things I was checking out on the rig." He says simply, his eyes lingering on his firefighter.

Hermann's focus is going back to Mouch. "Alright, you weren't talking to Casey, so what's got you acting all weird." He pushes, the conversation now gaining the entire room's attention.

Mouch sits up, stuttering over his words as he looks to Hermann, then to a confused Casey, before briefly meeting my glare I was shooting across the room, practically begging him to keep his mouth shut. But one look on his flustered face lets me know that won't be happening and I groan, rubbing my fingers along my temple.

The rest of the guys look at him in amused confusion, before Mouch's mortified eyes look to Casey. "I didn't see anything, I swear!" He stutters out, tripping over his words.

Matt looks at Mouch with wide eyes, clearly still confused before his eyes snap to me and realization must set in. Severide clearly must realize too, because he is soon busting out into laughter.

"Oh, God." Severide chuckles, sucking in air. "Gabby, you scared him for life." He forces out between his laughter.

"Mouch," Matt nearly growls out.

"The door wasn't locked!" Mouch argues, and my eyes go wide.

"I thought it was!" I fire back, "You barely knocked!" I throwback, pointing his way.

Mouch turns his body further towards me. "Don't you wear a cover or something?" He argues back, his eyes briefly glancing down at my chest before meeting my eyes once more, clearly still very flustered.

I shoot him a glare, shifting uncomfortably and crossing my arms over my chest. "Sure, let me throw a towel over your head while you're eating, Mouch."

He shakes his head, holding his hands up in surrender. "Please, it's not like Jesse was here."

I go to respond but my words are cut off by Hermann, who has clearly picked up on the situation now, realization filling his features as he bites down his own laugh. "Jesus, Mouch, you walked in on her pumping?"

Mouch looks back to him sheepishly and understanding dawns on the rest of them, laughter ensuing only for a moment before Casey is sending them a sharp glare. "I didn't mean to!" Mouch argues back once more.

Casey runs a hand over his face, Mouch's scared eyes meeting his and I have to bite back my own laugh at his clear fear of his Lieutenant.

"Mouch." He starts, his voice level, and forceful, though I could see the amusement at the entire situation behind his eyes. "Maybe knock next time." He barks.

Mouch nods quickly. "Yes, Lieutenant. Of course, won't happen again, Lieutenant." He forces out, still looking up fearfully. Casey shakes his head and I hear the rest of the guys snicker at Mouch's expense.

I tune them out as the blond-haired Lieutenant approaches me, leaning his back against the counter facing away from the guys as he scouts closer to me.

"You good?" He questions softly.

"I'm fine." I say lightly, "I think Mouch is more mortified than I am." I joke, sparing a glance to the older firefighter who was practically tucked in on himself on his seat on the couch while the rest of the guys continued to snicker in his direction. I shake my head... children. I worked with children.

"Well, maybe lock the door next time." He jokes lightly before his voice turns lower and he is leaning closer to me. "Don't really want the whole house seeing my girl."

My heartrate skyrockets at his words, trying my best to hide the blush that hits my cheeks at his words as I look up to meet his eyes.

"Your girl, huh?"

Matt nods, sparing a glance behind us, ensuring no one was paying attention. "Mhm. My girl." He presses a quick kiss to my cheek before grabbing a crouton from the salad I had just finished putting together and popping it into his mouth before heading back around the counter to take up his residence at the head of the table. Sparing me one last knowing look before settling down.

I shake my head at him, biting on my bottom lip to contain my smile as I go back to the task at hand and work to complete the rest of our dinner.

Casey

When I walk through the front door, I can hear the television playing through the living room, Gabby coming into my line of sight as she sits on the couch with her back to me.

I set my toolbox down and kick off my work boots, ready to have a relaxing evening at home now that my construction job was complete.

I move around the couch, resting my hands-on Gabby's shoulders and rubbing soothingly, her head tilting back to look at me as a smile spreads across her face.

"Hey, you." She says softly, mindful of the baby sleeping in her arms. "How was the construction job?"

I lean down, pressing a kiss to her forehead and keeping up my rhythmic ministrations on her shoulders, working out the tired muscles I felt under my touch.

"It was good," I reply. "It took a little longer than expected, but the Hanlin's shouldn't have to worry about that back fence again."

Gabby nods, her eyes falling closed as she rests her head back on the couch, clearly enjoying the shoulder massage she was receiving.

"How was your day?"

"It was good. Jesse and I went for a walk and I got some laundry done." She comments, running her hand along the sleeping boy's back as he snuggled deeper into her embrace. "He's been a little grumpy today. I think he might be going through a growth spurt... All he has wanted was to be held and nurse most of the day."

I nod understandingly. Jesse was close to 5 months old now and he was really starting to grow. Growth spurts were something that had become a common occurrence for us, and while never fun, we always managed to get through. Our boy just needing a little extra love and comfort during them. Whether it be wanting to be held, wanting to nurse more often, or sleeping the day away... we took them as they came.

"I'm sorry, baby. You could have called me, I'm sure it wasn't necessarily an easy day for you." I comment.

Gabby smiles, reaching her hand up to squeeze me arm. "It's alright. We managed. I have a feeling he will be sleeping through the night with no problems tonight though." Jesse shifts in her arms, stretching lazily before settling back down, both of us remaining silent while he settles. "I'm going to go get him down in his crib." She says softly, forcing herself up from the couch carefully.

She moves around the back of the couch, stopping in front of me and I lean down, pressing a kiss to the curls on the top of the sleeping boy's head. "Night buddy. Daddy loves you."

Gabby stays in front of me, a loving smile on her face and I quirk a brow at her. "What?"

She shakes her head, "Nothing... you're just kind of amazing."

My brows rise further as I take a step towards her. "Oh really... just kind of?" I tease.

Gabby rolls her eyes. "Don't get all cocky on me." She jokes and I laugh lightly.

I lean down pressing a long kiss to her lips, pulling back to find her eyes still closed. I rub my thumb along her cheek, "Go put our boy to bed, then come find me. I'll get a bath started."

Gabby's eyes open, an impressed look covering her face. "Deal."

We both go our separate ways. Gabby heading for Jesse's room while I move to turn the television off and get the rest of the lights turned off. Checking to make sure both the doors were locked before heading to our bedroom.

I move to the bathroom first. Starting the water and getting it to the desired temperature before sifting through the products and finding the bubble bath that I knew was Gabby's favorite and dumping a cup full into the water, watching as the bubbles start foaming up immediately. I pour some of the Epsom salt in knowing if for no other reason it would help with my own muscles before stripping my dirty clothes into the laundry hamper and moving around in my boxers. Grabbing Gabby and I both a pair of pajamas to have ready after our bath. I grab the baby monitor and bring it into the bathroom as well, turning it on and setting it on the bathroom counter.

I sit on the side of the tub waiting for the water to fill the tub and get lost in my own thoughts.

I hadn't really had a moment to sit and breathe since the night before shift when Gabby and I finally stopped kidding ourselves... when we finally got back together. We both had been on a cloud since that night. Understandably so. It had been over a year since we had this, and we both wanted to enjoy it, but I knew there were some things we needed to figure out. At least, on the work front, there was.

Yesterday's shift had gone well. Chief knew and was supportive, and we both said we would need to talk to the guys. That much was clear and we were on the same page. The thing I was still working through was the position we were once again in. While I agreed on telling the house, I was anxious about how we would once again handle this situation. No matter how short the time frame was. I just wanted to be sure we were on the same page.

I didn't want our relationship to affect our job... but I more importantly did not want the job to affect our relationship.

Our jobs meant a lot to us, I knew they did... but what we had? It meant everything. It had always meant everything, and last time we lost sight of that, but this time that could not happen. We had Jesse to think about, and he more than anything else meant everything. He was truly all that mattered, and I knew Gabby felt the same. Both of us knew that Jesse was our number one priority.

We hadn't gotten a chance to talk too much since the morning before shift. Both of us busy at work along with keeping our distance, neither of us wanting to draw too much attention to ourselves while we navigated once again how to work together while in a relationship. Neither of us wanted to be apart or have our hands off each other after finally admitting what we both wanted, but having to because of our jobs and the dynamic that was once again set by being Candidate and Lieutenant.

"Hey." Gabby's soft voice pulls me from my thoughts as my eyes rake over her. She was in one of my t-shirts and a pair of cotton shorts. Her hair pulled back in a loose bun as she leaned against the door frame.

A smile pulls at my lips as I take her in. "Hey... he go down okay?"

She nods. "Yeah, out like a light." She comments, stepping to the counter and looking in the mirror as she pulls her hair from its loose bun and brushes it out before twisting it up into a higher bun on top of her head to keep it from getting wet in the tub.

I shut the water off in the tub and go to the closet to grab two towels for us and set them on the counter. Gabby shifts nervously against the counter, her bottom lip tucked into her mouth. I eyed her cautiously, wondering where the shift in demeanor has come from.

"What's wrong?"

Gabby's eyes shift to me before she is looking back down, shrugging softly.

"Nothing it's just..." she trails off, clearly trying to gather her words. The anxiety written into her features putting me on edge as I take a step to her, grabbing one of her hands in my own.

"Hey," I prompt softly, pulling her eyes to me. "Talk to me... what's going on?"

She bites forcefully on her bottom lip, the hesitation in her eyes clear. "It's just... it's been a long time since we..." Gabby trails off again, her eyes going to the tub and realization starts sets in.

"Since we took a bath?" I ask cautiously, still not a hundred percent sure where her hesitation has come from.

Gabby shakes her head. "Well, yeah. I mean no... It's not just that. It's been a long time since..." She stops once more, her eyes closing as she gets flustered.

Realization fully hits me now, my eyes falling closed for a moment. "Since I have seen you naked." I fill in, watching as she shifts uncomfortably on her feet, avoiding my eyes.

"Yeah... I mean it's been a while, obviously... and my body, it's... it's different now. With being pregnant, and the surgery and..."

"Gabby," I say forcefully, stopping her nervous rambling, her eyes finally meeting mine. "You know I don't care about all that. You are beautiful. You've always been beautiful and you always will be beautiful. Every single part of you is so, so beautiful." I tell her, watching a blush creep onto her cheeks.

"I love you for that... but I have the scar from surgery and stretchmarks, and that stupid little pouch of fat I can't seem to get rid of no matter how many crunches I do. And don't even get me started on my boobs. They are huge now and veins..." I pull her close, crashing my lips down on hers and cutting off her rambling. A squeak of surprise leaves her initially before she is relaxing into the moment, kissing me back. When I pull away, I don't leave much room between us, her eyes still closed as she sucks in the air that our kiss had stolen from her.

"I don't care," I tell her softly. "I don't care about the stretch marks or the scar, or any of it. You are perfect to me, Gabby... and all that? It's just a reminder of how strong you are. Of everything, you went through to bring our beautiful boy into the world. If anything, all it does is make me love you more." I press a much tamer kiss to her lips, pulling back to see the tears that have settled into her eyes as she looks at me, the anxiety that had previously been there starting to fade.

Gabby presses forward, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and pressing a kiss to my lips. "I love you." She says softly as she pulls back, bringing a megawatt smile to my face.

"I love you, too," I tell her. Brushing my hand along her jaw and giving her one more quick kiss. "Come on, before the water gets cold."

I slip out of boxers and settle down into the tub, holding my hand out for her as she drops the remainder of her own clothing to the ground and takes hold of my hand, her timid eyes meeting mine. "So damn beautiful," I tell her softly, a blush creeping onto her cheeks as she lets me help her settle into the tub. Resting with her back against my chest and her body in between my legs I am quick to wrap my arms around her, pulling her back into my embrace further and pressing a kiss to her shoulder as we relax into the warm water.

Gabby hums in contentment, the warm water relaxing us both completely. I press a kiss to her shoulder before nuzzling into her neck and releasing my own sigh of contentment.

"I missed this," I say softly after a few silent minutes have passed; my words similar to the ones we'd shared the morning before. "I missed you."

I feel Gabby's nod of reply. "Me too." She hums, running her hand along mine that was wrapped around her stomach.

"I was thinking..." I prompt gently, being met with a hum of reply. "Maybe we could have a night out with the house soon... tell them our news."

Gabby smiles, tilting her head to see me. "I think that's a great idea baby."

My smile matches hers as I nod. "Good, we can set it up. Maybe have Bonnie or Antonio watch Jesse for a few hours." Gabby nods her agreeance, her hand coming up to scratch through the hair at the back of my neck.

I sigh softly, knowing I need to mention what else was on my mind. "I was thinking about work, too... about our situation."

"What about it?" She prompts, her fingers running the pattern through my hair soothing me.

"I just... I want to know we are still on the same page with everything. Even with telling Chief, and the house here soon... I just, I want to make sure that no matter what this... us... it's what comes first."

Gabby turns in my arms, carefully maneuvering herself in the water until she is facing me, her legs straddling my waist as her arms come to wrap around my shoulders, mine settling firmly on her hips.

"Matt... you and me... you and Jesse... is all that matters to me." She says softly, her soft brown eyes meeting my blue ones. "No matter what happens at work, good, bad, or ugly... all that matters is what we have at home waiting for us. All that matters is our family."

Nodding I wrap my arms tighter around her. "I know... I'm sorry I am even questioning it, I just... I don't ever want to lose you again, Gabby. This past year being without you has been rough, and no matter how much we needed it, or how much stronger it made us, I still never want to go through it again... and the thought of this somehow falling apart again, it fucking terrifies me." I tell her honestly, the vulnerability creeping into my words.

Gabby nods, taking in my words as a soft smile fills her features. "I don't know what all the future holds, Matt... and I'm not going to say it will be easy, but all I know it we will get through it together. I never want to be without you again... and I'll do everything I can to make sure neither of us has to."

I nod, cupping Gabby's cheek and bringing her in for a long kiss, both of us settling into the action as we let our own insecurities melt away, relaxing into the comfort the other was offering and relishing in the feeling of finally having this again.

Finally having each other again and knowing whatever came our way from here on out, we would face it together.