Authors' Note: Thank you all SO much for the outpouring of reviews last week. It was an awful week, we both really needed it, and we deeply appreciate you taking the time to say a few words. 3 Thank you so, so much.
Adelaide: Alfred really is a godsend, isn't he? And we do have plans for Sebast and Jay to cross paths by the end of the fic. As a matter of fact, we wrote their first face-to-face meeting over a year ago, and just recently worked on a far-future scene that revolves around a conversation between the two men. :)
Kala and Jay were back at the Manor again for lunch, which was when she found out that Roy and Lian were heading to the airport immediately afterward. "It feels like you just got here," she said, and the complaint was only partly teasing.
Roy grinned at her. "I was here before you, Zippy."
Kala burst out laughing at the nickname, but fell silent abruptly when Roy continued, "And you would've seen us more if you and Jay hadn't been sneaking away constantly."
"Look, I can only do so much togetherness before I start to itch," Jay said. "Next year we'll stick around for all the caroling and crap, okay? Hopefully K won't be gone for a whole freakin' month right beforehand either."
Kala could see him editing each sentence as he said it, to avoid swearing, but she was more stunned by what he was saying. Next year. Jay had just casually said he planned on both of them being here next year. Which surely seemed a lot more serious than either of them pretended to be. She'd known how serious she was, but this…
"Yeah, sure, it's all about avoiding your hilariously dysfunctional family," Roy was saying, still needling Jay. "Been there, done that. Heck, I'm doing it this year. I came to see the only sane person who ever ran with the Arrows."
Dinah chuckled warmly. "Aww, thank you, Roy, but I used to date Ollie, so my sanity is definitely in question."
"You broke up with him for a hot redhead, so you passed the next sanity check," Roy pointed out. "Plus it's a win for Team Ginger, and I'm all about that."
"Do not start trying to create an MCR1 mutation superiority club," Babs said, but she was smiling.
"Come on, you know redheads have more fun," Roy joked.
Kala couldn't resist adding, "Can confirm. My stepmother and my little sister are both redheads. Every redhead I know is exemplary in some way."
Roy smirked at that. "See, Babs? Even the Super agrees we're awesome. We need to organize."
"This is why you're going home, before you start any more trouble," Babs told him, mock-scoldingly.
"You're the meanest stepmom, I swear," Roy laughed.
"Nuh-uh," Lian countered, frowning. "Yesterday you said Barb'ra is the smartest and the bestest in the whoooooole Justice League."
"Shh, don't tell her that, she'll get a big head," Roy teased, and Lian stuck her tongue out at him playfully.
"You'd think the bestest in the League would be the Chairwoman, but I guess I can't get loyalty even from the kid I raised," Dinah groused.
"Aww, come on, that's not fair," Roy joked back. "You know I think you're the best. I was just angling for flattery points."
"Flattery doesn't work on me. I already know how good I am," Babs said dryly, and Kala couldn't help a snort of laughter at that one.
The atmosphere around the huge table was relaxed and friendly, something she could really get used to. There was often a little tension at the Manor, or at least there had been over the summer; everyone worrying about Jay training Kala, or about the current cases. In this holiday atmosphere, with more people around, she would've expected things to get more hectic. Oddly, it was calmer.
Roy sat back with a smile as Dinah called Babs arrogant in fond tones. "I'm gonna miss you guys," Roy said affectionately. "I'm gonna miss the food, more."
"For supposedly one of the best archers around, you miss a lot," Jay snarked.
Kala elbowed him in the side, but she smiled despite herself. The endless wisecracking had grown on her after all. Even Roy took it well, laughing, and it was nice to see Jay interacting in a positive manner with someone outside his family.
"If I ever need a stand-up comedian, I'll call you," Roy said to Jay. "Or a babysitter, since you went climbing the walls with my kid and didn't drop her."
"It was a stealth mission to raid the cookies without being forced to sing Christmas carols, and of course I didn't drop her," Jay shot back. "That's mostly Lian, though. Forget babysitting, if she needs an accomplice, I might be down."
Lian grinned, and Roy scoffed in amusement. "Yeah, great, you'll both be running Gotham's criminal underworld. With Kala playing the muscle."
"Hey now, since when I am the muscle?" she laughed.
"Since you can fly at mach 17 and punch through steel," Jay retorted.
"He has a point," Dinah said, cutting through the hilarity. "Seriously, though, we need to wrap this up and roll out if these two are gonna get through airport security."
Roy sighed heavily. "I wish we had an invisible jet or something we could use. Flying the friendly skies is a bit too friendly, at least when they pat you down."
"I'd offer, but House of El Air doesn't do baggage," Kala put in.
"And we don't need to expose Lian's developing brain to Mach 17," Babs added. "Dick was gushing about getting to free-fall from I don't even want to know how high. Let's not create another adrenaline junkie."
Dick, who had let the teasing play out with a fond smile and without getting involved – despite the temptation of Team Ginger – just laughed. "Oh, come on, it'll be fine. We're all adrenaline junkies in our own ways. Kala's just up-front about it."
"You're nuts for free-falling, by the way," Jay told him, and Kala rolled her eyes affectionately at both of them. They ended up being the ones to clear the table, bickering lightly about what constituted a sane amount of adventure.
Kala shook her head, and looked to Roy. "It really was nice to meet you. We'll have to make sure to hang out again sometime."
"I'm sure we'll find time somehow," he said, with an easy smile.
…
Selina woke up from her midday nap disoriented, and thoroughly annoyed about it. She'd had trouble falling asleep alone in her own bed, which was frankly pathetic. She actually missed Bruce's arms around her. Worse, when she woke, for a moment she couldn't understand where she was, or why she didn't see the vaulted ceiling of the bedroom in Wayne Manor.
It was far too easy to let herself get attached to those comforts, to fall into the trap of familiarity. A week or two of staying with Bruce, and she could become thoroughly domesticated. Selina shuddered in horror at the thought.
She went about her afternoon routine, which given the hours she kept was similar to most people's mornings: feeding the cats while her coffee brewed, checking the news and eating a light meal. Joker's arrest had been thoroughly covered, of course, and now the news cycle was moving on to wild theories about his hostage. Some claimed he'd killed a woman and the Bats covered it up; others claimed the woman he took hostage was a plant, a hero in disguise; still others claimed she was some famous socialite or other, and a few of them had already written breathless accounts of the event despite not even being at the Mistletoe Masquerade.
Selina scoffed at them all. Only the 'hero in disguise' ones came close to being true, and most of them named Troia as the hero since she'd been spotted in the area recently. Luckily for everyone, no one had recorded Joker snatching up Kala, or Jay carrying her out. Maybe that was Babs' doing, though. Selina had a very healthy respect for her skills.
She'd just about finished her greek yogurt, nudging Batty's nose away from the container repeatedly, when her phone rang. Not a number she recognized, but local. On a whim, she answered it, only saying, "Hello?"
"Good afternoon, Selina," Oswald Cobblepot said. "I heard you were at the charity ball the other night. I hope you've recovered from the stress."
"What stress? He was never anywhere near me. Really, rolling up to the biggest show in town was not a wise move on his part." She spoke lightly, and would never mention that hearing Joker's voice calling her out had spiked real fear down her spine.
She could almost hear Oswald shrug. "Joker's reasons are not for the rest of us to understand. I doubt he got what he wanted out of that, but I also doubt he considers it a complete loss."
"I really don't care how he rates the whole experience. He's locked up in Arkham, and I'm enjoying the sweet life out here among the free and easily-fleeced," Selina drawled.
"Would you care for a drink to celebrate that, then?" Oswald asked.
That was unusual. Last she heard, he didn't summon people to the Iceberg. It did plenty of business as it was. "I'm surprised you'd associate with me, given the climate here in town. Everyone knows I helped the girls get away."
"Selina, the Iceberg is like Switzerland – no matter which side you're on, everyone gets thirsty," Oswald said expansively. "But if you'd rather not make the trip, I can send the limo around."
Okay then. So he wanted to talk to her, specifically, about something that he didn't really want anyone else to overhear. Or there was something else going on – Selina's finely-tuned survival extincts warned her against getting in a car someone sent to her right now. Oswald probably wouldn't sell her out to Joker's gang, or to anyone else who was after her right now. But probably wasn't good enough.
A rattling noise startled her; while her attention was on the call, Batty had shoved her head into the yogurt container and polished it off. When she sat up, it fell off her face, leaving bits of yogurt in her whiskers. Selina sighed, shaking her head, and Miss Kitty leapt up beside Batty.
Casual observers claimed that all black cats looked alike. Selina thought they were blind, or just foolish. Batty was taller at the shoulders than Miss Kitty, longer-legged, longer-tailed, and with a longer wedge-shaped head. Her ears were set further to the sides, and her eyes were more almond-shaped. Miss Kitty, meanwhile, had a rounder face, higher cheekbones, round jewel-like eyes, and was shorter in all her proportions than Batty's half-Siamese lankiness. Selina could tell them apart even if she only saw the tips of their tails; Batty's tail narrowed almost to a point, while Miss Kitty's was rounded.
Miss Kitty looked directly into her eyes, sitting perfectly still, while Batty swiped at her face to get the last traces of yogurt. "Now that would be convenient, wouldn't it?" Selina murmured into the phone. "I go out for a walk, step into a waiting car, and then what? It's not that I don't trust you, Oswald, it's just that there's a lot of ways that could end badly."
"No, it's exactly that you don't trust me, which is rather ironic since I'm the one sticking my neck out to pass information to you," Oswald said, a little testily.
"What kind of information?" Selina purred. He usually bought information, and sometimes sold it, but she'd never heard of him giving it away for free.
"The kind that you, as perhaps the only true free agent in town, should know," Oswald replied. "Show up armed, bring a friend if you want, but make sure it's someone you trust. Hell, bring one of those tracking devices Batman likes to stick on everything he cares about. Just don't tell anyone on our side who you're meeting, or why."
This just kept getting weirder, and Selina laughed softly. "You know what they say about cats and curiosity. I'll have that drink, Oswald. Where should I meet the car? And how much of an effort should I make not to be recognized?"
"The north entrance of Robinson Park, in an hour. Don't be obvious. I'll see you then," he said, and Selina agreed before hanging up.
She drummed her fingers on the countertop, looking at Miss Kitty. "I've never really considered Oswald a threat. He could be trouble, back in the day, but he hasn't been into the gangland style stuff in years. He likes being a legit businessman, having all the wealthy and powerful in town lining up at his club. It'd be stupid to threaten me – and moronic to invite me to show up armed, or to bring someone, or to bring a tracking device. This is probably above-board."
Miss Kitty blinked, and her tail flicked leisurely from her left side to her right. Selina sighed. "I'll set up some failsafes, and I'm bringing you along this time, just in case. Now I just need to figure out what to wear…"
…
Babs had just seen Dinah, Roy, and Lian off to the airport, and was settling in at the Clock Tower to check the data streams from Libya, when her phone buzzed. She recognized the ring tone and answered it with a tired smile. "Hello, Dick."
"Hey, Babs. I have news, the kind I couldn't share at lunch. Mind if I drop in?" His voice was brimming over with excitement and delight.
She chuckled; a visit from Dick was always good for lifting her spirits. "Sure, my girlfriend's away. You might have to jump out a window if she gets back early."
"Scandalous," Dick laughed. "I meant 'drop in' literally, by the way, I'll be on the roof in five minutes."
"I'll unlock the access door," Babs told him.
Sure enough, a few minutes later her cameras picked up Nightwing swinging over to the top of the Clock Tower, barely visible against the darkening sky. Then he was inside, strolling over to her console with that same boyish grin she remembered from the old days. Smiling at him – who could resist? – Babs asked, "So what fresh gossip did you bring me?"
"Oh, I brought you more than gossip," he told her, and held out the paper bag he was carrying.
Babs took it warily, peeked inside, and gasped in surprise. "Mighty Fine Honeycomb bars? Oh, and Beech's Stem Ginger, too? Where did you find these, Dick?"
"Candy shop in London," he gloated. "I didn't just go with Kala for the flight, I also got some shopping done. Picked up some treats for myself, and thought I'd share the love. I didn't want to open them at lunch because I didn't want to have to fight Jay for them."
"Thank you," Babs told him. Alfred had always slipped those particular candies into her stocking when she was younger. He wasn't making as many trips to London, these days, and it was very thoughtful of Dick to pick up some sweets. Especially while enjoying a flight with Kala, something that Babs herself had briefly considered and then thoroughly decided against. Not that she didn't trust Kala; the thrill of soaring through the air was no longer quite so addictive as it had once been.
Dick hopped up on the desk beside the console, grinning. "Quite an interesting day, flying to London in an hour. No line, no airport security, no customs, just in and out. We did some shopping and some talking, and the talking was very interesting."
"Do tell," Babs said, opening a honeycomb bar. They were dipped in salted caramel, an absolutely sinful indulgence.
"Remember you busted me and Jay having a heart to heart? Well, I managed to drag the same confession out of Kala," Dick said, beaming. "So both of them know it, even if they're afraid to say it. They're in capital-l Love."
Babs raised an eyebrow. "I wouldn't think Kala had that kind of hang-up."
"She caught it from him. She's convinced he'll flip out if she says it," Dick replied, munching on some stem ginger of his own. "So, what should we do?"
"And what makes you think we should do anything?" Babs asked.
He rolled his eyes extravagantly. "Because these two fools are going to dance around each other for another year without saying anything, I just know it. They let the tension get ridiculous over the summer, and he never made a move until I practically forced him to. If someone doesn't intervene, they'll have two kids and a dog together and still think it's a casual summer fling."
"Two kids and a dog?" Babs laughed. "Whoa there, Dick. I don't think Kala will go that far without making a stand. We shouldn't do anything about it. It's their lives."
He made a rude noise. "But it's so obvious. They just need a little nudge."
"Seriously, Dick, we are not locking them in a safe together," Babs said, raising an auburn brow.
Dick laughed merrily. "True, she'd rip the safe apart – and I'm sure she knows that's not a batarang in his pocket by now."
"Trust me, she knows. They forgot to sign out of their comms the first time. I'm going to send them my therapy bill," Babs told him, teasing.
"Oh, don't share," Dick groaned. "It's one thing to give them grief, I don't want proof."
"Suffice it to say their communication skills are just fine, as long as they're not talking," Babs told him.
Dick scoffed. "Fine. Maybe I'll just start hinting about how to buy jewelry for girls, or something."
Babs thought that wasn't the best idea – Dick wasn't exactly qualified to offer advice on commitment. "Don't push them, Dick. It'll backfire. If Jay thinks he's being manipulated, he'll run for the hills even if you were trying to get him to do something he actually wanted to do. It's his native stubbornness."
"You'd known about stubborn," Dick said, without rancor.
She shrugged. "I have to. Let it be, and let them sort it out. At worst, we'll get a funny story out of it, since everyone except the two of them knew it before they did."
"There is that," Dick said. "And he was just talking today about next year. When was the last time he made plans that far out?"
To Babs' knowledge, the last long-term plans Jay had made involved taking over the drug trade in Gotham and either killing Bruce, or forcing Bruce to kill Joker. She didn't mention that, deciding instead to point out a few more positive things. "I think it'll be sooner rather than later. They've never had so much time together, except when they were training. He went to a log cabin with her, Dick. Letting go won't be easy, after this week."
"If he's smart, he'll want to give her a good reason to keep coming back," Dick said with satisfaction.
Babs knew better than to assume than any of them, herself included, would do what was smart when it came to relationships. "If we were smart, we'd use our brainpower to save the world instead of gossiping about other people on the team like a couple of bored housewives," she teased.
"We save the world every night. And half the day, too. We're allowed to use our downtime for fun," Dick retorted. "And harmlessly amusing ourselves with the never-ending soap opera that is relationships among the hero set is fun and educational."
"Can't be educational, none of us have ever learned better by someone else's example," Babs said dryly.
"Present company very much included," Dick taunted. "When are you gonna make an honest woman of Dinah?"
"When are you gonna make an honest woman of anyone?" Babs shot back.
Dick stuck his tongue out at her. "And I thought Jay was the reigning champion of deflection. Fine, fine. We've watched him and Kala grow from hating each other on sight, to respect, to attraction, to friendship, to lovers, to pretty damn romantic. I'll let the next act happen in its own time. Only because I trust your judgment."
"You should, by now. We've known each other long enough for you to know I'm always right." Babs cut him a playful smirk at that, knowing Dick would take it as the lighthearted jest it was.
"Au contraire, I've known you long enough to have been around for the very few times you were wrong," Dick countered. "Such as insulting the guy who brought you British candy. Guess I'll take that bag back now."
"No!" Babs exclaimed, laughing, and the two of them fought over the bag until Dick gave in and hugged her. She hugged him back, glad of the camaraderie and the hopeful news he brought.
With a little luck, at least one of the boys in this family could get a happily ever after ending. No one would've guessed it would be Jay, but that just went to show how unexpected life could be.
…
As night fell softly over Gotham City, Selina waited a little ways inside Robinson Park, standing in the shadow of an old beech tree. She could still see the street for some distance, and could use the tree for cover if this turned out to be a setup. Most importantly, she'd called Holly and told her to text five minutes after the scheduled meeting. If Selina didn't give her the right coded answer, Holly would forward the information to a number that Oracle maintained as a tipline.
She'd also arranged for Holly to keep sending more texts, at slightly varying intervals, so if this was a setup and Oswald was patient enough to wait until after she'd checked in, there was still backup. Of course, she'd rely on her own claws and quick wits first. The taser in her coat pocket didn't hurt either.
Two minutes early, a huge black SUV limo made the corner and rolled slowly toward the park. A rental, apparently, since it wasn't Oswald's own impeccably restored and maintained custom Rolls Royce Silver Cloud. Selina watched it, her green eyes narrowed, until it stopped just outside the park gates.
One of the tinted rear windows rolled down just a few inches, and a slip of paper poked out. Even at this distance, Selina could see that there was only one thing on the paper: the large bold letters 'SK'. "Great, we're doing spy-versus-spy crap now," she murmured, and stepped out of the shadow of the tree.
She crossed to the limo with long, easy strides despite the heels on her boots, one hand holding her coat closed against the late December wind, the other gripping the taser in her pocket. That limo could hold a lot of people, if it was a trap. She took a deep breath as she closed the distance, and the door swung open just before she could reach it.
The interior was lit in soothing blue-greens, and she only saw one occupant, Oswald himself, sitting to one side so no one in the park could see him through the open door. Selina committed herself, and stepped in, pulling the door shut behind her.
This enormous limo had seating all down one side, and a wider bench in the back. The other side was taken up by a full bar complete with stemware and a couple of ice buckets. Oswald was sitting just behind the driver, and Selina took a seat on the long bench down the side of the vehicle. "Well, here I am," she said, keeping her voice level.
"Can I offer you a drink? They have a decent selection," Oswald said, gesturing to the bar.
"I suppose a glass of white wine will do. I'd ask for a southside, but you didn't bring your bartender. Although you could've, with all this space," she said, making a show of looking around.
"I could've brought the bartender, the doorman, and the band in this monstrosity," Oswald countered. "No one who sees this beast rolling around will guess it's a meeting for two. Or suspect that I'd be caught dead in the gauche thing."
"It is a little much," Selina laughed, eyeing the curvy seat designs and the ceiling lights that shifted to a purplish hue.
"It's a lot much," Oswald said testily. "But I don't want anyone to know I was here, and I image you don't, either."
"You're right about that," Selina said, and took off the glasses and hat she'd worn just in case she were spotted. She'd pinned the brunette wig to the hat, and it felt good to get that off and free her hair. She also opened her coat, letting Miss Kitty leap out of concealment. Oswald chuckled indulgently as the cat strolled down the bench seats, sniffing here and there. Selina folded up the coat so she could easily reach the taser in case something went wrong. After trying on several outfits, Selina had gone with a cocktail dress for this meeting, one cut so that she could fight in it if necessary. And perhaps more importantly, draw attention to the length of her legs.
Much to her surprise, Oswald picked up a cocktail shaker and set about mixing her a southside – with catnip instead of mint, just the way she liked. He had to have brought the catnip himself, storing it in the limo's mini fridge alongside chilled martini glasses. Oswald poured two drinks, and clinked his glass against hers as she took it. "To the future," he said.
"The future," Selina echoed, and waited until he'd taken a drink before she sipped her own. She glanced toward the partition separating them from the driver to cover her hesitation, and realized something that made her chuckle. "This is a little déjà vu, for me. What did you tell the driver? Just circle the city until you say otherwise?"
"Of course," Oswald replied, with a hint of a smile.
"Then you know what he thinks is going on back here. I really hope that barrier is soundproof." Selina leaned back in her seat, and felt her phone go off. "Sorry, just a minute someone's texting me." She took the phone out and sent the expected message, that she was busy in a meeting, but it was the smile emoji that told Holly she was okay.
Oswald gave her a nod, and waited as she typed. He didn't seem offended; then again, they'd both played this game often enough, he would've expected her to have some kind of backup even if he hadn't told her to do so. Once she was finished, he said, "I made very sure to ask if it was soundproof, I checked the back for listening devices, and I tipped in advance for discretion. So he's certain he knows what this trip is about, and that's more misdirection for us if someone does learn I was here."
"Brings back memories," Selina said, trying to sound him out. "I feel like I should ask to see the money first."
"I couldn't afford you anyway. I just loaned Harvey twenty-five million," Oswald replied.
Selina's eyes went wide, and she almost wasted a mouthful of top shelf gin. "Twenty-five mill? Damn, Oswald, you could've loaned me that money if you were feeling so generous! I'd find a use for it somehow."
"You don't need it, you've got Bruce Wayne's black card and your own stock portfolio," he scoffed. "Besides, what's the potential return on my investment?"
"What's Harv's return?" she asked.
He grinned then. "Oh, Harvey thinks he's going to be top dog in Gotham. The Clown Prince of Crime hath fallen at last, the rumors say, and now the petty nobles are fighting for scraps. Harvey thinks he can win out over Black Mask and all the rest."
"And you're helping him?" Selina asked, followed by another thought. "Why are you telling me this?"
"Because I don't trust Harv to run this town. I don't trust Roman, either, and let's not even talk about the Italians. I'm telling you because you're on his hit list," Oswald said.
Selina arched an eyebrow. "I'm on his hit list? He's that pissed about me beating up his boys? He should've known better than to go after kids Red Hood was protecting."
"Oh, it's nothing you did," Oswald replied. "Listen, Selina, I'm looking at the future of Gotham here. Not just this month, or this year. I'm thinking about five, ten, fifteen years down the road. And I intend to still be here, not in prison, richer than I am now but otherwise essentially the same. I'm not going to try and rule the whole roost, only to get taken down by your boyfriend. I like being an upstanding citizen."
"You also like having everyone, masks and civvies and maybe a cape or two, eating out of your hand," Selina replied.
He shrugged, sipping his drink. "It's good to be respected. I'm sure you understand that, otherwise why be the master thief? You could've just been a thief, and made yourself a nice little fortune, but you had to be the best – and you had to play tag with Batman, too. It's all about respect."
"For me it's mostly about the adrenaline rush," Selina said dryly, but he wasn't entirely wrong. There were dozens of cat burglars in Gotham; there was only one Catwoman.
Oswald inclined his head, ceding the point. "Regardless, I've come to realize that the only way I can stay in the niche I've carved out is if Gotham remains in a certain status quo. And that's right where your Bat and all his little birdies will keep it. As long as they're here, doing what they do, most of us can still do business. The crazy ones will pop up and start trouble, and get beaten back down for it. But even Batman knows he'll never stop crime in Gotham City. Hell, Superman can't stop all the crime in Metropolis, and that guy can hear everything and fly faster than the speed of sound. No way in hell can Batman work himself out of a job. As long as we're smart enough to stay under his radar, there's no reason for people like us to retire, either."
Selina leaned back in her seat. "Are you trying to recruit me, or throw in with me?"
"Neither. 'Free agent' means working solo, I understand that much. But I'd like to cultivate a working relationship that includes the exchange of information relevant to our mutual interests. And I can't really do that if Harvey decides the best way to make his bid for king of Gotham's underworld is to hang your scalp on his belt."
Wincing at that mental image, Selina said, "Wait, why does Harvey think I'm the best trophy kill in town?"
Oswald sighed. "He gave me five names and no explanations, but it seems obvious enough. Number one is Harley, because Joker's baying for her blood and can't catch her. You and Pam helped Harley escape, so either of you is as good as Harley for proving that whoever kills you is doing what Joker can't. And since I happen to know the lovebirds skipped town, that particular target lands on you."
"Ugh, if only Harley had hit him like one more time," Selina growled. "So who are the other two names?"
Oswald glanced out the window as they slowed, but it was only a stoplight. "Red Hood, for much the same reasons. He's Joker's nemesis. Not only did he not stay dead when Joker killed him, he seems to have recovered enough that he's running with the Bats again. The inside scoop is that Joker was livid about that. Not to mention, Hood could run this town himself if he wanted to. That's even worse, from a certain point of view, when a man has the skills and the drive to take over, and decides it isn't worth his time. Makes everyone fighting for the top spot feel inadequate. Roman wants his head mounted on the wall – literally, his assistant talked to a taxidermist about it – and everyone else just wants to score points."
"Good luck on that. Red Hood could eat Roman and Harv for breakfast, and still have room for Joker," Selina said.
"Yeah, well, there's one more name, and another reason for you, too," Oswald told her. "The Blur is on Harvey's hit list. Not because of that with the kids, although she did get his attention for sure. Killing a meta is always a major coup, anyway, and he probably figures taking her out is as good as killing Hood. Just like a certain percentage of the population probably thinks killing you is as close as any of us will ever get to scoring one on Batman."
Selina sucked in a breath on that. Kala … oh, no. Kala was too damn new to the hero game to be in the crossfire for all this shit. Not that she wasn't supremely equipped to handle the pressure, but she had enough on her plate. And if they figured out what she was, well, kryptonite wasn't as hard to come by as it had once been.
Not that she wanted him to see how personally she took that. Selina wasn't supposed to know Blur beyond casual acquaintance, and she couldn't reveal that she knew her well enough to like her without also indicating that she knew Kala's identity. She recovered herself enough to say, "Do me a favor, Oswald. If you ever decide to off me, make it because of something I did? And not who I sleep with? A girl could find that insulting."
"I wouldn't make a move against you, Selina," Oswald chuckled. "You keep this city interesting, and you can be useful in your own contrary way."
Selina grinned at him, and crossed her legs subtly. Misdirection first; she could deal with this about Kala later. "Admit it, you just like me too much."
"Doesn't matter how much I like you, I wouldn't risk my neck for that," Oswald replied, but his eyes twinkled.
Smiling, she added a warning. "As for Blur, Amazons are damn hard to kill. And not too shy about killing people who try to take them out. Harv better watch his ass."
"Oh, I know it. The rumors I hear paint a very interesting picture, even with Troia dropping in for a day. The Blur could be a major problem for everyone, if she really cut loose, but for whatever reason she's playing second fiddle to Hood. None of which is my problem." Oswald sipped his drink again, looking thoughtful. "You know, this is pretty good with catnip in it."
"It's in the mint family. Not that much of a stretch," Selina said, still trying to figure out his angle.
He continued, "The only chance Harv has of taking out Blur is blindsiding her. Which is why I'm telling you all of this. Forewarned is forearmed. Harley and Pam are long gone, so as long as you, Hood, and Blur watch your backs, things ought to settle back down without anyone coming out the clear winner."
Selina tipped her head to the side. "Except for you, of course. As long as everyone else is fighting over territory, you're the top dog in town."
He leaned forward a little, fixing her with an intent gaze. "No, your boyfriend is the one running the show. I'm not interested in knocking him out of his roost. Hell, I'll never admit to it if anyone else asks, but Batman and his whole little flock are the only ones keeping Gotham together. This place wouldn't be worth living in without them."
"Wow. I'm impressed. Next thing I know, he'll be measuring you for a Robin suit," Selina said dryly, still trying to decide if he was laying out a plausible line or actually being sincere. Miss Kitty wasn't helping; she'd hopped up into the back window and was watching traffic through the tinted glass.
Oswald barked a laugh. "Hell no. I'm too old for that foolishness. Couldn't have made the tights look good even in my misspent youth. No, Selina, I don't like him that much. He's a necessary evil, from my point of view. A useful adversary."
She decided to carry on as if he were sincere. If all this was a lie, she'd find out eventually – and it wasn't like she was going to commit to any course of action based on one conversation. Her phone chirped again, and Selina replied to Holly again while Oswald waited. Once she hit the 'send' button, she returned her attention to him. "That's how you want the Bat to think of you, too, isn't it? You've got a ten year plan, you're looking for stability. And passing information to me, that's your contribution. You are looking to throw in, just unofficially and under the table."
"Our goals aren't entirely dissimilar. I can work around him, or I can work with him. This with Joker … you can't do business in a town like this, Selina. Since Harley beat him half to death, no one knows what Joker's going to do next. He's got no rules, and he's spun up pretty damn high." A pause, and a calculating light came into his eyes. "Hell, it's been longer than that. Since Red Hood came back, Joker's been steadily escalating. More senseless brutality every time you turn around. What was the point of killing Dent's boys like that? What was the point of burning down a school? The library I understood, it was cover, but he could've had the same effect with less drama. Joker just seems to be making bigger gestures for less reason. It's garish."
He didn't know, couldn't know, that Joker's seemingly random targets were calculated to strike at the Bats. His point was still valid, though; Joker was becoming increasingly vicious. The level of violence in his recent attacks was off the charts, even for Gotham.
While she and Oswald verbally fenced, Miss Kitty had wandered around the limo and watched all the traffic she wanted to. Now she stepped daintily over to Oswald's side, and reached her paw into his drink, hooking out the sprig of catnip. Oswald stared at her as she ate it, bold as brass right beside him, and then looked up at Selina with disbelief.
"It's catnip, what did you expect?" she said with a little shrug. "Don't let her drink the gin, though. Seriously, Oswald – we all should've expected Joker would do something like this eventually. It's not like he was ever going to retire. Hell, even Croc has mellowed out a little, but five minutes in Joker's company and you know he's never going to stop."
"That's what worries me, Selina. Joker ran this town for years because he was the scariest bastard here. He set the bar higher than anyone else wanted to go, and if anyone even got close, he'd push it up another ten notches just to prove he could. What's Harv going to do to equal that? What could Roman do? Well, we all know Roman's a sadist, but he's not as creative as Joker." Miss Kitty sniffed his glass, and he reached into the fridge to take out another piece of catnip for her, rather than let her fish through his drink.
"So you're trying to balance the beam in your own way. And you're willing to hand out information to keep it level enough for your account books to stay in the black," Selina mused. "That's it? There's no hidden agenda? You expect me to believe someone as smart and patient as you doesn't have a plan that ends up winner take all?"
He sighed. "Selina … look, it'd be nice to run Gotham. For a while, anyway. Except everyone who takes a shot at that finds out they've got a tiger by the tail, and in the end it always bites their hand off. Always. Even Joker's feeling the pressure now. No, I'll stick with the legit route, and enjoy being the only one here who isn't risking getting killed or arrested or caught in a gang war."
She arched an eyebrow. "The legit route? What, are you running for mayor or something?"
Oswald laughed. "Wouldn't be the strangest thing to ever happen here."
"You'd have to pay off every escort service in Gotham," Selina said, teasing a little to see if his temper would turn on her.
He only smiled indulgently. "I'm a good customer, and I tip well. Plus, they all know who I am. No one would betray me; I'd make life extremely difficult for them. Besides, if most of the wealthy and powerful in this town aren't already in their black books, I'll be very surprised. But no, Selina, public figures are targets. Last thing I need is to get elected to office and have some idiot decide he can only make his mark by assassinating me. The ten year plan requires me to be alive to enjoy it."
"Information czar it is, then," Selina replied. "You know, that's who this conversation reminds me of: Oracle. Who says you have someone on Capespotting's staff, by the way."
"What a godsend that website is," Oswald said with a grin. "All of us are on the site, you know. I think I'll have my guy float the idea of a private forum for verified accounts."
"The only thing more terrifying than you running for mayor would be the kind of flame wars that would start," Selina said dryly. "You think celebrities' Twitter beef is ridiculous, we're all melodramatic here."
She'd been trying to find some hidden motive or secret agenda, and to her surprise none of her feints had landed. He might really be sincere about all this, which was actually kind of frightening. Miss Kitty hadn't acted like there was anything dangerous about this meeting, either, but she would sometimes behave like a completely ordinary cat if Selina tried to rely on her intuition too heavily.
"True. And quite a few of us have no real sense of humor," Oswald said. "It'd only be entertaining for a handful of people. What Red Hood's going to say when he finds out Harv's gunning for him – that would be nice to have for posterity. The kid's got quite a mouth on him."
"I'll try to record it for you," Selina said.
"I'd appreciate it. This is why I like you, Selina. You have an eye for the little things that can turn out to mean so much." He polished off his drink, and set the glass aside. "So, you'll tell Hood and Blur to be careful? And watch out for yourself?"
"I'm not worried about Harv. I've handled him before, I can do it again," Selina said. "The same goes for Hood and Blur, but I'll let them know." Kala, especially. She'd run up against most of Gotham's rogues gallery, but none of them had put a price on her head yet. It might be worth Selina's time to tweak Harvey's nose a little, remind him that threatening her was a bad idea. Her fingers always itched to take that coin of his; it could be done, despite the way he touched it so often, as if for reassurance.
No, it was better to handle Harv cautiously for now. One run-in with Hood would remind him why he didn't want to try taking out any vigilantes, much less one who'd been assassin-trained. Or his super-powered sweetheart. Selina decided to tell Jay as soon as she could. She'd rather tell him alone, but getting him apart from Kala was well-nigh impossible lately. She'd have to rely on Jay to restrain any reckless impulse of Kala's to go confront Harvey herself.
Selina considered herself a good judge of character, and she'd been watching Kala more closely than the young Super probably realized. What she saw was a blend of what she knew from Lois and Clark, but it was clear that Kala certainly had her mother's scrappy fighting spirit. As affectionate and kind as her father, but every so often that hellfire spark of her mother's shone in her eyes, and Selina didn't want to fan that into flame and set it loose on Gotham. Oswald was right about balance, and having a meta here – a powerful meta who just so happened to be hooked up with a vigilante with a temper and the will to use it – tilted that scale pretty far in one direction.
"Thank you," Oswald said, resting one elbow on the back of his seat. "In other news, how have you been? I heard there was a mold problem in your building."
"It was a hassle, but I got it taken care of. I'm good, all things considered," Selina said. Just because he was acting like this was a social visit didn't mean she could let down her guard. Underestimating Oswald was a very bad idea. So was admitting to being spooked by Joker's threats.
Miss Kitty calmly walked onto his shoulder and crossed behind his head to get back to Selina's side, Oswald looking at her in amusement. He shook his head then, and checked his watch. "I suppose we ought to head back to the park. It's a believable enough time frame."
"Much as I hate to cut a friendly outing short, I do have to feed the cats," Selina replied jauntily.
Oswald nodded, and sent a text message of his own, presumably to the driver. "If we're going to be sharing information, we ought to sort out a way to get in touch beyond the usual channels."
"We should. If I need to talk, I'll text you and ask if you have my favorite gin in stock. That should be innocuous enough," Selina offered.
"And if I need you, I'll call and say there's a stray kitten hanging around the back door," Oswald said with a slight grin. "Which, there actually was one earlier this week, and I thought of calling you, but my bartender went out there with a can of sardines and caught it. He's been showing pictures to everyone else on staff ever since. Little black and white thing, he's calling it Oreo."
"Aww," Selina said, and then grinned. "Kittens do best in pairs, you know. I've got a handful right now that are ready for adoption – and I can hook your bartender up with free shots and neutering. Have him call me."
"That's right, every shelter and rescue in the greater Gotham area is still swimming in funds thanks to you playing games with the Demon's Daughter," Oswald mused. "Did you ever get her back for the dog training website?"
"I did, but she hasn't found it yet. I'm pretty sure there'll be a strong reaction when she does," Selina laughed.
"Just be careful she doesn't decide to eliminate the competition," he warned.
"Please. I'm not afraid of Talia. It would be beneath her dignity to sully her sword on a thief's neck," Selina scoffed. "Also Batman would never forgive her, and she knows it."
Oswald chuckled at that. "I never thought I'd bet against her, but the more I hear about this, my money's on you coming out on top in the end."
"I always do," Selina replied loftily. "It's part of that whole cats-always-landing-on-their-feet thing. I always get my way, eventually."