Content warning: (possible) disturbing scenes involving a major character.

Author's notes at the bottom.

Thanks for reading!

Anna couldn't find her way home. The spirit she'd just spoken too—Silja—had left her with no guidance. She was told she'd be led to safety. Her gut would lead her. But she wasn't feeling so certain. It was dark and cold; she was hungry and tired. The guidance she was being given wasn't enough for her. It was all too vague.

The spirit of the woman that spoke to her was gone. She'd called for her a few times, but never received an answer. She felt defeated. Again. Was she dreaming?

The thought made her stop walking. It interrupted all other thoughts. She couldn't tell what was real anymore. What if all of this was a dream? But then… when did the dream start?

It all felt too unrealistic. Her entire life. Everything around her. Her birthright. Her sister. The way their parents died. The way she died. The way her sister died. It was all too much to be true. What if she made it all up? What if she injured herself as a child and this was all a hallucination?

It made her feel sick to her stomach. She'd doubted her reality before—her own madness, in fact. What if she was mad all along? Was Kristoff even real? Did she make him up because she was lonely?

She needed to sit down. She leaned her head back against the trunk of the tree. Her chest felt constricted despite her loose clothes. Her stomach churned. She felt like she was going to vomit.

"Please help me…" the words were whispered unconsciously. Her brain physically hurt in her skull. She grabbed handfuls of hair, desperate to scratch under the surface. "Free me…"

"You're almost there, darling."

The voice was familiar. It took her a moment. She knew it. But she didn't feel the same urgency this time. She almost felt even sicker. "Go away…"

"Only a little further."

Anna opened her eyes and looked up at her mother, hands still tangled in her hair. "I don't want to exist anymore, mama."

"I know you're tired, my love." Iduna knelt down in front of her, gently putting a hand on her knee. "You're so close to peace. It's only a little further."

She shook her head helplessly; a tinge of madness behind her tired, watery eyes. "No. I'm done." Her voice was weak and full of defeat.

"They're weighing you down," Iduna urged. She took her daughters' hands in her own and gave them a squeeze. "This isn't you. These aren't your true feelings. They're amplifying your pain."

She nodded; "they're winning." The defeat in her tone; her expression, felt like a punch to Iduna's heart. Those aqua-green eyes were struggling to stay open.

"You must follow your heart."

Anna wanted to scream. She felt it rise in her throat, but it didn't go anywhere. She exhaled heavily and sunk even further; shoulders limp. She had no energy. She felt like closing her eyes. She knew if she did, she wouldn't wake up. Her mother was still talking to her. She could hear some panic rising in her voice. Her ears began to ring; the ringing drowned out every other sound. And then:

"Do you like this one?"

Her eyes snapped open. She looked up at her fiancé. He was holding a gown. He lowered it, eying it with uncertainty. "It's a bit… frilly." He looked to her with hope in his eyes that she'd dislike it as much as he did.

She smiled lightly. "It's not really my style," she shrugged casually. He sighed in relief and put it aside; "I hope it isn't this difficult to find a wedding gown."

"We're not even engaged yet," she hinted with a light smirk. She noticed the surprise in his expression, as if she'd revealed one of his secrets. He chuckled awkwardly and turned back to her, running his hand through his hair. "Of course not yet," he muttered. "But someday. Maybe."

She nodded. "Yeah, maybe." She reached out for his hand, which he accepted gleefully. She pulled him over to her and he sat by her side. "If one of us asks that one question," she said through a smile, kissing the tip of his nose.

He felt the blush rush to his cheeks. He looked away quickly, swallowing the nerves. "Heh. Yeah, well…" He side-eyed her briefly before looking at her directly; "you're very non-traditional," he pointed out. "It could be fun to switch roles sometimes! Maybe."

She shook her head; her smile not fading. "I love some traditions." She waited a moment before getting onto her knees and turning her body towards him, fixing the collar of his shirt then looked him in the eyes; hands on his shoulders. "I'm not saying we have to get engaged right this moment," she reminded him. He seemed to relax. "And… There's no pressure. I know you're not going anywhere, and you know I'm not going anywhere. We've got all the time in the world!"

"I don't want to mess this up," he admitted quietly, gently grabbing her wrists. "I want to be the one. I want you to know how special you are."

Her smile only grew. She gave him a peck on the lips. "You are the one. I've known it for years." She grabbed his hand and put it on her stomach; "there's so much more to this life than marriage."

"The marriage has to come first," he reminded her, pulling her body closer to his.

She gave a half-hearted shrug. "Not necessarily," she thought aloud. "I mean…" she bit her lip, glance falling with a cheeky guilt, "there were other things that were supposed to wait until marriage." She looked back at him. "But that didn't stop us, did it?"

He ran his hand down her auburn locks and shook his head; "I suppose not." A brief beat, then; "see? Non-traditional. But you really don't want to have to tell Elsa you're pregnant before marriage…"

Her smile faded ever so slightly; brows furrowing. She definitely did not like that idea at all. "That probably wouldn't go over well, would it?"

He shook his head. Then he added; "but, she'd be happy either way, I'm sure." He watched her, waiting for a response, then gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I want to rush, too. I want…" he eyed her over and took a breath, taking her tiny hands into his grasp. "I want all of you; physically, and more. These moments don't last, however, and I fear of losing the moment. Y'know?"

She nodded, fully in agreeance. "Absolutely. I agree." She thought for a moment; "but I also really can't control… this," she gestured down towards her body. "I feel desperate." She rested her forehead against his. "I want you to be my husband. I want us to be parents. And it's so hard to think of anything other than how much I love you."

He struggled to respond. His feelings were just as overwhelming, even if he didn't have the same maternal hormones as her. Her body wanted a baby; his didn't. He had an advantage there. It was easier for him to wait. But her desperation was tempting. There was nothing truly holding them back. They had to be so careful these days. There was no room for an accident. "Imagine how good it will feel when we're entirely ready," he'd suggested, kissing her. "Imagine how good it will feel to finally be husband and wife. To find out we're going to be parents. To welcome that child into our lives. That joy could last us a lifetime. A new thing to look forward to in the years to come. If we do it all in a day, then what?"

She lowered herself a bit to look up at him. She put her hands on the sides of his face; eyes full of love and adoration. "If that's a guarantee that I get to love you for an entire lifetime… I will be patient."

He smiled back at her, and she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck in a loving embrace. He held her close, hands tangled in the hair that fell loosely down her back. "I love you, my Anna."

"And I love you, my King. Don't ever let me awaken from this dream."

He couldn't find her. He'd spent hours searching; every room in the castle, to the streets of the busy city. Nobody had seen her. It took him too long to track down Elsa, and when he did, he was a bit more aggressive than he'd intended to be. He'd snapped at her, demanding she tell him where Anna last was, lecturing her for not keeping him involved. She was, of course, entirely taken aback by his entire demeanor. She told him that Anna had gone with Astrid to piece together the past; to find a way to please the conflicting spirits. She didn't know exactly where. She told him she'd been in her room and hadn't seen Anna since she left a few hours ago.

He was panicked. He had a bad feeling in his gut. He told her; "we need to find her. Now."

She didn't hesitate to follow along. They ran to find Eira. Surely, she'd know the location of the hidden room.

They looked everywhere. Eira wasn't around. Nobody had seen her, either. Elsa called for the spirits- called for Silja, and her mother, but nobody came to aid them. She didn't know what to do; what to say. She was surprised that Anna hadn't taken Kristoff with her, but he told her that Anna wanted him to stay with Eira. That was until he left her to find Anna; and that's when his panic began. Anna was gone.

"We don't need to panic," Elsa had said, mostly to convince and calm herself. "Anna is so capable. She'll be fine. We'll find her."

"What if the spirits took her?" That was Kristoff's main concern. He'd never doubted his lover's capabilities; he worried about the things that she couldn't control.

Elsa hadn't even thought of that. It made her heart race. The temperature dropped around them. She'd tried contacting the spirits again, but it was to no avail. They seemed to be gone, too. The pair looked at each other with a mutual helplessness.

It was raining. She could almost hear thunder in the distance. The ground beneath her was soaked. She was filthy, lying flat on her stomach in the mud. Her right eye was irritated; bloodshot and watery. She didn't have the energy to change position. She felt incredibly nauseous. Again. She often associated it with anxiety, but she wasn't anxious this time. She didn't really feel much of anything.

Was there a future for her?

A flash of lighting blinded her; her eyes squeezing shut in reaction. She was freezing, past the point of shivering. She knew if she moved, she'd vomit. She needed to grab something. To cry. To scream.

But she couldn't. Why is this happening to me?

A voice entered her mind as her vision began to tunnel. "Would you give it all for us?"

Anna was barely able to open her eyes. The watery mud leaked back into her right eye, causing a burning sensation. "Hjelp meg…"

"First you must help us."

Her eyes slipped shut again. Her head was hurting again. The mud had gotten into her mouth. Despite her lungs pathetically taking weak, occasional breaths, she felt entirely deceased.

They have won. Every remaining ounce of energy fled her body. The end.

A/N - This note is a lengthy one. First: I'm sorry it's been a few days since updating. I haven't been writing much lately. I just got a third job, and have been struggling to balance schedules. Second: my home situation has worsened a bit, which is leaving me unmotivated, but this I will conquer very soon. Third: my grandmother had a stroke yesterday and is currently in the hospital, so updates will be delayed by probably a week or so. She's been my light and support my entire life, but we had a falling out in June and I haven't spoken to her since, so this is very conflicting and scary. I will continue writing in time, and will finish this story, so please don't fear it being abandoned. I just need to spend time with myself for a while and figure out what my next move is. 2020 really needs to ease up. I never thought a year could be worse than 2016, and yet here we are. :(

I can't thank you all enough for your patience and understanding. I know real life comes first, but I want to continue this story and end it as I had initially planned. There will still be about 35-40 chapters; updates may just take a tiny bit longer.

Chapter notes: "Hjelp meg" is "help me" which may be obvious, but I figured I'd translate it just in case. Next chapter is another one of my favourites, and I'm in the process of writing ch30, but as I said, things will be delayed a bit.

I also probably won't make many more updates on my personal life, so don't worry about it happening again next chapter. I want this to remain a safespace for everyone. I'm just having a tough time right now...

Reviews:

Susan - The upcoming conflicts are pretty convoluted, especially between the spirits themselves. And I'm glad you liked having an Elsa-centric chapter! I really enjoyed writing it. I'm looking forward to writing more of her! Writing that scene was difficult, but also very enjoyable and healing. My mother has not changed, and things are still very bad, but I will be all right in time. I cannot thank you enough for your care. This is my anonymous safe space xx

elenasmcanonico - Thank you! I'm glad you liked it :) I really appreciate your constant support! Much love.

Jt2300 - I'm glad you think so! Thanks for the feedback!

Wolf heart 22 - Thanks. I'm glad you like the story! And I'm sorry you've been having a tough time; my DMs are still always open if you need anything. Take care of yourself xx

Element 37 - I'm super sleep-deprived, and my English has been no good lately, so I'm not really understanding your review :( I'm assuming you mean that Elsa is repeating old behaviour by not informing Anna of where she was going? If so: Elsa meant no harm; curiosity simply got the better of her. I'm sure it'll be brought up in future convos. Thanks for your review!

Final note: I'm not looking for, nor am I interested in empathy or pity - I just want you to know that I want to keep writing, and these are the reasons for a delay in updates. I really can't thank you enough for the love. Your words make me smile so genuinely. Take care of yourselves.

Forever's not far if tomorrow's not coming.