Chapter 28 – Protection

After having jumped into hyperspace, Ben quickly left the cockpit so that he could brood in the main hold by himself. Seated at the bench, Ben put his feet up on the checkered table and rested his chin against his fist as he stared blankly at the spot where Rey had miraculously appeared a few hours ago.

He had never experienced something like that nor had his mother ever told him about something like that being possible. Therefore as Ben was contemplating what happened, he couldn't help but doubt himself. Had he really seen Rey or had it just been his imagination? Surely he couldn't have imagined something so vivid, but how else could he explain it? She had been standing three feet away from him! He could feel her presence. She had been here, there was no doubt about it.

But how? And where had she gone?

Closing his eyes, Ben reached out into the Force and attempted to discern Rey's Force presence. He concentrated for a solid minute before conceding defeat. She wasn't anywhere near him. There was no way he could find her. So how had she managed to find him? Or had she? She had seemed just as surprised as he had been. Perhaps she was asking the same questions to herself about him.

Unable to come up with any possible explanations, Ben sighed heavily as he swung his legs off the table. He paced around the main hold for around half an hour, absentmindedly twirling his lightsaber hilt in his hand as he thought. Poe came to give him an update on their progress and after he left, Ben decided to call it quits. Clipping his lightsaber to his belt, he trudged down the halls toward the guest room where he took off his heavy robes and collapsed into the bed.

Sleep came quickly despite everything on his mind. Perhaps he was still exhausted from his experience on Jakku. Regardless for the reason, Ben was grateful for the brief reprieve. He woke up abruptly a few hours later when the whole cabin began to shake. Blinking a few times, Ben rubbed his eyes as he sat upright. He nearly fell off the bed when the ship careened to the left unexpectedly.

"Dameron!" Ben called out, completely awake by now. "What the hell?"

Getting to his feet, Ben wobbled around the tiny room for a minute as he struggled to throw on his undershirt. Summoning his lightsaber to his hand from across the room, he marched out of the bedroom and toward the cockpit.

"Dameron!" he yelled again when he the ship jolted once again and he went tumbling into the wall. Calling on the Force to help balance himself, he managed to stumble into the cockpit where he found the pilot looking remarkably calm as he leaned back in his chair and was seemingly doing nothing to address the problem. "What are you doing?" Ben asked.

Startled, Dameron spun around to see him standing in the entrance to the cockpit. "Oh, hey," he said. "I didn't know you'd woken up."

"How could I not?" Ben asked as another tremor rippled through the ship. "What's happening?"

"What, this?" Dameron asked. "It's just a bit of turbulence, that's all. It occasionally happens in hyperspace, especially in lanes that aren't often traversed like this one."

"I've never heard about turbulence in hyperspace before," Ben said skeptically.

"That's because you've only ever flown in fancy ships with computer stabilizers installed," Dameron informed him. "Corellians like this one are far less… endowed."

"I see," Ben said, frowning as he looked out the front window toward the choppy hyperspace in front of them. Despite Dameron's blasé manner, Ben couldn't help but feel apprehensive.

"Take a seat, why don't you?" Dameron suggested, gesturing to the copilot's seat. Ben hesitated for a moment before stepping forward into the cockpit and sitting down opposite the pilot. "Oh, and you can call me Poe by the way," he told him as Ben strapped himself in.

"Poe?" Ben repeated.

"Yeah, just Poe," he said. He looked away and smirked. "You know, I asked your sister to call me by my first name but she wouldn't do it."

"Why not?" Ben asked.

Poe shrugged and shook his head. "No idea," he confessed. "She insisted on calling me flyboy, for some reason. Kind of rude, if I'm shooting you straight."

"Yeah, she can be a bit abrasive," Ben agreed as he too looked away back out the window. Thinking back to the first time he met her, Ben recalled being similarly perplexed by her insistence on calling him Solo rather than Skywalker despite his numerous requests. In retrospect it made sense – she had been jealous of him and had decided to vilify him by calling him by his father's name – but at the time he hadn't been able to make sense of her rudeness.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" Poe suddenly inquired.

Ben turned languidly toward the pilot with his eyebrows raised. "Go ahead," he said.

Poe opened his mouth yet faltered. Perplexed, Ben watched as the pilot closed his mouth and looked away. "You know what, never mind," he mumbled finally.

"Never mind?" Ben repeated. "Come on, what did you want to ask me?"

Poe bit his tongue, clearly regretting having spoken in the first place. "It's about your sister," he finally said reluctantly.

Ben stiffened at the pilot's tone. "What about her?" he asked.

Poe scratched his nose and leaned back in his chair. "It's nothing, I just…" he trailed off momentarily, his eyes distant as he stared blankly out the window. "She has some baggage, doesn't she?" he finally said.

"What does that mean?" Ben asked, tilting his head as he stared unblinkingly at Poe.

"I've seen people act like she does before," Poe told him, momentarily meeting his gaze before looking away again. "Very belligerent. Unable to ever concede that they're wrong."

"So what?"

"Just forget it, alright?" Poe said, raising his hands in surrender. "I shouldn't have brought it up."

"No, you shouldn't have," Ben agreed curtly.

An awkward silence followed as the pair collectively decided to stare out the window rather than at each other. Ben's eyes began to glaze over as the bright blue hyperspace streaks began to blur. Suddenly he realized that he had dug his fingernails into the leather of his armrest. Looking down, Ben exhaled out his mouth as he slowly retracted his talons. Taking another soothing breath, Ben flexed his fingers before unstrapping himself and standing up.

"I'll be in the main hold," he informed Poe, his tone astringent and uninviting. "Let me know when we're close."

Poe nodded without looking up at him. Considering the tense pilot for a moment longer, Ben spun around and marched out of the cockpit.

Stay away from me!

What's wrong with your leg, girl?

It's broken.

May I see?

Don't come any closer!

There's no need to resist.

Don't touch me!

Come home.

I… I can't. I can't go with you.

Why not?

I'm sorry. D-Dad, I'm so, so sorry."

For what?

Forgive me.

Ania woke up and instantly felt sick to her stomach. Eyes widening, she leapt out of bed and rushed toward the direction where she knew the bathroom to be. She only barely made it.

For several minutes, she heaved into the sink. She hadn't eaten anything in what felt like days, so there wasn't much for her to vomit. She suspected she was merely spewing up all the fluids the IV had pumped her up with, alongside a dusting of bile to give it that aromatic flavor.

When the vomiting came to a merciful end, Ania spat out whatever moisture remained in her mouth as she turned the faucet on. Her shoulders ached and trembled as she sagged over the sink and watched the watery-contents of her stomach spiral down the drain. She left the faucet on for a long while even after the sink was cleaned, closing her eyes as she listened to the sound of the pressurized stream.

Finally, she pushed herself back into a standing position. Feeling somewhat lightheaded, Ania made herself wash her hands before turning off the faucet and spinning around. Knees wobbling somewhat, she made her way out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom.

She was in her mother's quarters on the Skywalker. It took Ania a moment to reorient herself, but she did eventually remember how she had gotten there. Her mother had gotten her discharged from the medical ward and had insisted that she get some rest upstairs. She had gotten the distinct impression that her mother was upset with her, so Ania had complied with the request despite insisting that she wouldn't be able to sleep. Evidently she had been wrong on that account.

Voices beyond the door caused Ania to look up sharply. Making her way toward the exit, Ania swiped the blanket off her mother's bed and wrapped it around her shoulders like a cape before pressing her ear against the door. While she couldn't make out what was being said, Ania was sure that one of the voices was her mother's. Relieved, Ania pulled away from the door and returned to the bed.

Plopping down on the plush mattress, Ania suddenly found herself feeling immensely small in the large bed. Despite the soft blanket she had wrapped around herself, Ania's bare feet were icy cold and her skin felt horribly clammy. Her hair was also tangled and messy having not had a shower in several days. Beginning to shiver, Ania pulled her knees into her chest and draped the blanket over them as she rested her back against the backboard of the bed. As she did this, Ania noticed that the voices had receded and she sensed someone approaching…

Despite her foresight, Ania was nevertheless still startled when the door to the bedroom opened abruptly. Her shock faded in an instant, however, when she saw her mother walk in and close the door behind her.

"Mom," Ania whispered as Leia came over toward the bed. "It happened again."

Her mother's brow furrowed for a moment before she assumed a more solicitous expression. Sitting down on the bed, she extended her hand and placed it on Ania's knee. "Tell me," she instructed.

Ania swallowed hard, making a face when she tasted the residual bile in her mouth. "It was Snoke this time," she said so softly that she could barely hear her own voice. "He was kidnapping me." Leia nodded, beckoning her to continue. "And then it was him," she said, shuddering. "It's always him." Ania stared blankly at nothing in particular with her mother's touch the only thing keeping her grounded. "I threw up in the sink," she confessed, shaking her head as she forced herself out of her daze and looked her mother in the eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Leia said, giving her knee a rub before retracting her hand.

"Why won't they stop, Mom?" Ania asked, her voice laced with desperation. "Why won't they go away like they did with you?"

Leia sighed heavily as looked away and bowed her head. "I had closure, Ania," Leia told her for the umpteenth time. "Or at least I thought I did."

"Your father forgave you. Mine can't," Ania said, her arms beginning to tremble as she strengthened her grip around her knees. "I can't get closure."

"Ania, we've been through this before," Leia said sternly. "My father forgave me, but I could only accept it after I learned to forgive myself. You have to do the same."

"But –"

"We've had this conversation a thousand times, Ania," Leia interrupted her. "It makes me think you aren't listening to me at all."

Ania blinked a few times, caught off guard by her mother's atypically harsh tone. "Are you mad at me?" she asked after a tense silence.

"Mad at you? No," Leia said as she stood up off the bed and walked over toward the bathroom. "But I am disappointed."

"Disappointed?" Ania repeated, eyes widening as she watched her mother inspect the sink.

"You defy my instruction," Leia said as she turned the faucet on and reached for a sponge. At once, Ania opened her mouth to refute this claim but Leia continued on without giving her the chance. "You do not seem to be able to appreciate the magnitude of our current situation," she said, speaking loudly over the sound of running water. "Nor do you appreciate the tremendous responsibility I have on my shoulders. I cannot solve your problems, Ania. Nor can I devote the majority of my time toward protecting you when I have a war to conduct."

"You don't need to protect me," Ania insisted, indignant.

"Don't I?" Leia asked, turning off the faucet and leaving the bathroom. She came to a stop by the foot of the bed and placed her hands on her hips. "I have to protect you from yourself, Ania! You nearly got yourself killed going to Jakku without my permission."

"But I had to, Mom! I had to find the map!"

"I don't care about the map, I care about you!" Leia roared, causing Ania to shrink away against the backboard. "Think outside of yourself for once. Think about me!"

"But I did it for you! To find Luke!" Ania insisted.

"No you didn't, you did it for yourself!" Leia countered, pointing an accusative finger at her. "You did it to prove yourself worthy to me. The map had nothing to do with it!"

Ania was too flustered to offer a retort. Instead, she tore the blanket off from her shoulders and threw it toward her mother with a scream. Caught off guard, Leia stumbled away back toward the bathroom.

"I hate you!" Ania shrieked, getting up onto her knees and gesticulating her hands wildly by her sides. Stunned, Leia merely stared back at her silently for a few moments. Ania's lower lip trembled as she met her mother's incredulous gaze. "I… I hate you," she said again, but without any of the vehemence. On the contrary, her voice was hoarse and permeated with self-loathing.

"No you don't," Leia said finally.

At once, Ania found herself shaking her head. "I d-don't," she agreed shakily. "I…I…"

Pursing her lips, Leia kicked away the blanket and walked back toward the bed as Ania began to dissolve. Unable to stop the tears, Ania bowed her head in shame as her mother reached out and placed her hand on her cheek. Ania grabbed onto the hand with both of her own as she cried, her whole body quaking as she held on to her mother for dear life.

"I'm so sorry," she managed to say through sobs. "I'm so, so sorry."

"So am I," she heard her mother say. For several minutes they stayed that way as Ania struggled to recompose herself. Her hatred for herself continued to augment. First she had killed her father, then she had hurt her brother, and now she had antagonized the person whom she admired and idolized above all else. How could she ever forgive herself if all she did was hurt the ones she loved?

"Come on," her mother said finally, her voice gentle and full of compassion. "I want to show you something."

Sniffling, Ania nodded and released her mother's hand. Wiping her eyes with the sleeve of the hospital gown she was still wearing, Ania got down from her knees and slid off the bed. At once, Leia wrapped her arms around her and gave her a quick hug. Ania pressed her face into her mother's collarbone as Leia planted a kiss on the side of her head before pulling away. Taking her hand, Leia guided her away from the bed and out of the room.

Arriving in the reception area, Leia released her hand and walked over toward her desk which was oriented in front of a broad, circular window. Feeling supremely chilly in the cold room, Ania rubbed her arms together as she watched her mother lean down to open a drawer. Reaching inside, she produced a small metal crate and stood back upright. Closing the drawer, she turned around and walked back toward Ania.

"Do you know what this is?" she asked, reverently holding the crate with two hands.

"That's Ben's safe," Ania said, frowning. Her brother had been quite proud of the safe he had engineered. Time and time again, he bragged to her that the only person who could access its contents was himself. He called it his greatest invention outside of A5. "But I thought that was on Chandrila?"

"I had him make me a replica," Leia said, smiling thinly. "It's a beautiful design, is it not?"

Ania had to agree. A vine pattern was engraved on the durasteel surface of the safe, the soldering performed with the utmost care and attention to detail. Her brother truly was a master of his craft.

"But how do you open it?" Ania asked. "You need A5, don't you?"

"Oh, I didn't require that level of security," Leia said. "Nobody would dare steal anything from me, anyway." Ania nodded, her eyes scanning appreciatively over the surface of the safe before resting in the padlock in the center. "Go ahead," her mother said. "Open it."

Ania looked up to meet Leia's eyes. "Why?" she asked.

"You'll see," Leia said, extending the safe toward her. Ania hesitated for a fraction of a second before meeting her midway and taking the metal safe into her own hands. Pulling it toward her, Ania unfastened the padlock and cautiously removed the top. Peering down into the contents of the safe, Ania saw the hilts of two lightsabers.

"What are these?" she asked.

Leia didn't answer her as she took the safe back. Reaching into it, she produced one of the hilts and handed it to Ania. "Take it," she said when Ania shook her head.

"I can't take that," she objected. "I haven't earned it."

"I don't want you to keep it," Leia said. "Just to hold it."

"Oh," Ania said. Hesitantly, she reached out and wrapped her hand around the sleek, segmented hilt. Raising it to her chest, she turned the hilt over and inspected it with the utmost fascination. "Whose was this?" she asked.

"This was the blade of Obi-Wan Kenobi," Leia told her. Startled, Ania looked up to see that her mother was smiling wanly. "The very same," she confirmed as if there was any doubt.

"You took this from him?" Ania asked. "When…"

"When I killed him?" Leia provided. Ania nodded. "Yes, I did," her mother said with a sigh. "I killed him in the same way you killed your father: by stabbing him in the heart." Ania's grip on the weapon tightened as she shut her eyes. "I felt the same guilt you feel now, young one," Leia told her. "Every night, I would take this weapon and place it against my own heart."

"You didn't!" Ania gasped, her eyes flying open at this confession.

"Is what you do any better? Pleading for forgiveness despite knowing that there is nobody there to give it?" Ania inhaled sharply. How did she know about that? She had never told her mother about that. Sensing her shock, Leia smiled once more as she reached out and took Obi-Wan's lightsaber out of her hands. "You're not as subtle as you think you are, Ania," she said as she returned the lightsaber into the safe.

"But why didn't you ever say anything?" Ania asked.

"Because I knew you needed to grieve in your own way," Leia told her. "I had no right to interfere. I've told you this before, Ania. I cannot be the one to absolve you of your guilt: you alone have the power and responsibility to do that."

Ania nodded as she bowed her head. She could feel her mother's eyes on her for a long while before she heard her reach into the safe once more and produce the second blade. Looking back up, Ania accepted the weapon without waiting for her mother to tell her to take it. At once, Ania felt as if she had seen this blade before.

"Wait a minute, this isn't yours, is it?" she asked, turning the blade over. The design was remarkably similar to the blades her mother and Ben both wielded, albeit significantly larger. In fact, it was far larger than any hilt she had ever seen before.

"Technically, it is," Leia said. "Although it is also Luke's, I suppose. But for now, I want it to be yours."

"But –" Ania began to protest, but Leia cut her off.

"This blade belonged to Anakin Skywalker," she told her, prompting Ania to shut up abruptly. This was her grandfather's blade? "He committed heinous acts with this blade, but also accomplished many great things. Because of that, I think it is only fitting that you wield it from here on out."

"I can't," Ania insisted at once.

"Do you consider yourself unworthy?" Leia asked, eyebrow raised.

"I… I don't know," Ania admitted. "I failed you. I didn't vindicate Sidious' blade like you wanted me to."

"No you did not," Leia agreed. "But I am giving you a second chance. I suggest you make the most of this opportunity."

Ania gulped and nodded. "I will," she said determinedly. "I won't let you down again, Mother."

"Oh, I know you won't," Leia said. "Do you know why?" Perplexed, Ania tilted her head as she lowered her newly anointed lightsaber. "I am going to share with you a modicum of my responsibilities," she said.

"What does that mean?" Ania asked, befuddled by this vague explanation.

"I am giving you your own Padawan," Leia elaborated.

"Stay with the ship," Ben instructed. "Both of you," he added when BB-8 began rolling after him. "I need to do this alone."

"What exactly is 'this'?" Poe asked, having never been informed about the nature of this mission.

"I'll tell you later," Ben mumbled. "If I succeed, that is."

"If you succeed?" Poe repeated, audibly concerned by this corollary.

Disregarding the pilot's qualms, Ben marched down the ramp and into the bright open air. Squinting, Ben looked up at the vibrantly blue sky. There were a few puffy clouds above, yet not enough to counteract the luminous suns which dominated the horizon. Wind buffeted his robes and rippled his hair as he leaned forward while walking down the ramp. Upon stepping down on the mossy ground, Ben held a head to his forehead and craned his neck up where he saw a granite pathway snaking its way up a steep hill. Turning around, Ben saw Poe and BB-8 watching him from the top of the ramp.

"I'll be in contact," Ben told him over the sound of the wind. "Stay with the ship until then." Without waiting for a response, Ben turned and made his way toward the trail.

He hadn't detected his uncle's Force presence like he had hoped he would when they touched down on the mysterious ocean planet. Ben refused to let this dampen his spirits, however. Despite the conspicuous lack of a signature, Ben felt oddly confident that Luke was here. Call it intuition.

The suns slowly climbed up with him as he plodded along the trail and the gentle morning light provided just enough warmth to keep him comfortable in the wind. Every now and then he would pause, a leg elevated on a rock as he took in his surroundings. This planet was truly gorgeous. The verdant island contrasted starkly with the dark blue ocean which stretched on in every direction around him. It was lonely, yet also distinctly peaceful. Ben could practically feel the stress which he had brought along with him ebb away in this oasis of tranquility. No wonder Luke had sought out this place.

Reaching the top of the trail, Ben found himself meandering through a stone village. It was empty, although Ben could make out the echoes o]\f former Force presences still lingering around the corners. Had the place been evacuated? Or was it still inhabited, yet no one was here to greet him at this particular moment? It was hard not to fear the former. This place, while peaceful, was not without an eerie quality which Ben found unnerving.

He made his way down the cobbled roads without going anywhere in particular. He spent what felt like hours inspecting the huts and appreciating the scenery. When he reached the opposite outskirt of the village, Ben sighed in resignation and sat down wearily on a broad, flat stone. What was he doing? It was clear that Luke wasn't here.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that."

Ben looked up sharply at the voice which he hadn't heard in three years.

"Anakin," Ben said, refusing to call the young man which stood before him his grandfather. It just felt weird to address a man who was physically four years his junior by that venerable title.

"It's been a while, Ben," Anakin said with a wry smile.

"And why might that be?" Ben asked, his frustration at having failed to find Luke manifesting in bitterness toward Anakin. "You seem to talk to Ania a lot."

"Are you jealous?" Anakin asked.

"No," Ben insisted at once.

"You do that far too often, Ben."

"What?"

"Lie to yourself."

Ben straightened his back and inclined his chin toward his incorporeal grandfather. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said.

"Leia and I are always here for you, you know," Anakin told him. "You just never ask for us."

"Is that so?" Ben asked. "You would just show up if I asked you to?"

"Of course," Anakin confirmed. "It's not like I have anything else going on, you know."

Ben blinked a few times as he processed this. "No, I suppose you don't," he agreed.

"So back to the matter at hand," Anakin said with a flourish of his blue-tinged hand. "You feel as if you failed?"

"Haven't I?" Ben asked. "Luke's not here."

"No, he's not," Anakin said. Ben sagged his head, depressed by the confirmation despite knowing it to be true regardless. "But someone else is."

Ben looked up slowly. "What do you mean?" he asked astringently, not in the mood for riddles.

Anakin didn't answer him. Instead, he stepped aside and disappeared, the wispy material of which his ghostly form was composed dissipating into the wind. Perplexed, Ben stood up and looked around. Suddenly, he saw what Anakin had wanted him to see.

Standing about a hundred yards away atop a cliff was a cloaked individual. They was peering out at the horizon without giving any indication that he knew Ben was there. Intrigued, Ben began to approach but not without considerable caution. Hand resting over his lightsaber, he made his way away from the village and up the hill.

"Hello?" he finally called out once he was close enough. "Who are you?"

A long silence passed and Ben contemplated repeating himself, fearing that the person hadn't heard him. Just as he opened his mouth, however, they finally spoke.

"I don't know who I am," they confessed.

Ben inhaled sharply as his hand fell away from his lightsaber. "Rey," he said.

The little girl whom he had failed three years prior turned around to face him. Lowering her hood, she contemplated him for a moment before taking a step toward him.

"How is this happening?" she asked.

"How is what happening?" he asked.

"You can't be here," she said.

"Neither can you," he said.

The self-described siblings stared at each other for a long while without saying anything. Ben frowned as he considered the gauntness of Rey's formerly full face. The brightness of her eyes had dimmed as well and no longer did he see the chipper little girl who had been Han Solo's daughter.

"I've missed you, Rey," Ben said finally.

"I've missed you too, Ben," she said as well.

"I want to help you," he said.

Rey hesitated at this. "I… I don't need help," she said, wringing her wrists.

"Yes you do," Ben said fiercely. "Sidious stole you from me."

"He didn't steal me," Rey insisted.

"I can protect you, Rey," Ben said, extending his hand to her. "I have to protect you. I gave our father my word."

"No, Ben," Rey said, shaking her head without so much as looking at his outstretched hand. "I'm the one who will protect you."

Dejected, Ben nevertheless kept his hand extended toward her. "Please, Rey," he pleaded, thrusting it forward closer to her. "Take my hand."

This time, Rey did glance down. She stared at the offering for a long while, her eyes oscillating back and forth as she pondered. For the a fraction of a second, Ben thought she was going to fold when he saw her right hand twitch. The moment was shattered, however, when Ben was startled by the sound of footsteps behind him. Spinning around, Ben reached for his lightsaber and activated the white blade.

"I don't say."

Ben froze, his lightsaber still held above his shoulder as he looked down at the weathered man standing a few feet below him on the hill. His once-sandy blonde hair had greyed considerably and he was now sporting a proud white and silver beard which Ben could only describe as a tangled mess.

"Uncle Luke," he said.

"Ben," the erstwhile Grand Master greeted his nephew. "Welcome to Ahch-To."