all gods were once men

"You cannot know how frightened gods are of pain.
There is nothing more foreign to them, and so nothing they ache more deeply to see."

— Circe, Madeline Miller

"You are not a god, Barry," Iris said, kneeling in front of him. Her brown eyes were large and sad and understanding.

"That's what Jay said."

"He's a smart man. Look, Barry. I know you don't want to be a leader right now, but everyone, Wally and Cisco and Caitlin especially, needs you. They need the Flash."

Barry gave a pained smile. "Thank you, Iris. You always know how to make me feel better."

"You're going to get her back, Bar," Iris said softly. "You will."

And so here he was, standing face-to-face with Caitlin again. This time, he was begging for her help.

"Wally's gone AWOL."

"So?"

"So when we find him, he's gonna need your help. He's gonna need your medical expertise, your experience with metas." He took a step closer to the glass. "What he needs is Caitlin Snow, M.D."

She laughed a little, leaning against the walls of her cell. "So you came to try and talk some sense into me," she said scornfully.

As she shifted, Barry noticed streaks of white-blond highlighting her hair. Whatever that was… it couldn't be good. "No," he said. "I came to let you go."

He opened the cell and Caitlin looked at him warily, wondering if it was a trap. Barry planted himself squarely in front of her, knowing that upstairs in the Cortex, Joe and Iris were probably exchanging worried and confused looks.

She stalked up to him. "For a smart guy, that was an awfully dumb move."

He shook his head. "Like I said, you're free to go."

"What's the catch?"

"You have to kill me," he responded, without hesitation.

"You wanna fight, Flash?" Caitlin growled, more ice blonde streaking her soft brown hair.

"No. I'm not gonna fight you. But if you wanna leave this room, you're gonna haveta kill me." His gaze never wavered.

"Don't think I won't."

"Then do it." He shrugged carelessly.

An ice dagger appeared in Caitlin's right hand and they both looked down at it. Barry locked his gaze with hers once more as she raised it to his chest. "What're you waiting for?" he asked, almost smirking.

Caitlin swallowed.

"What's the big deal? Come on." He shrugged again. "Live up to your name, Killer Frost. I wanna see some killing. You wanna be the villain? This is what they do. They kill their loved ones because nothing matters to them anymore. Right?"

He could see his Caitlin breaking through, could see her eyes widening and her resolve wavering.

"Right?" he repeated, grabbing her arm and pressing the dagger to his chest for her. "Come on. Kill me, Caitlin."

"You can't do it," he said, shaking his head. They were so close now that he could bend his head and capture her lips in a kiss if he wanted to. If there wasn't a dagger between them. "You can't. Because underneath all that cold, you're still you."

With a gasp, Caitlin's eyes turned back to the familiar chocolate brown he loved so much and her grasp loosened. The dagger shattered on the floor and she threw her arms around him, sobbing. "Barry!" she croaked.

He rubbed her back soothingly, letting relief wash over every part of his body. "It's okay," he said — for his benefit as much as hers. "I got you. It's okay."

Caitlin buried her face in his soft flannel shirt, breathing in the scent of clean rain and cinnamon, of soft cologne and coppery electricity. Breathing in the scent of home.

A/N: This was a short chapter, but one of my favorites :) There's 7 more chapters to go until the end — these next few are my favorites.