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Fives rolled over on the small sleeping cot he had put in Esinon's room, he heard something creak and assumed it was just Esinon rolling over. He tried to ignore it and go back to sleep. He heard another creak and he rolled over, blinking his eyes open. Esinon shifted restlessly in her bed, whimpering softly. He sat up, glancing at the Chrono, it was almost 0300. Was she having another nightmare? Another spell? He stood up, gently placing the back of his hand to her forehead. She was still burning up, he grabbed a thermometer off the wall and scanned her temperature. His eyes went wide. 103. She was burning a temp of 103. He immediately pressed the button on the wall that would signal a medic to come and help. A few seconds later Kix skidded around the corner,
"What's wrong? What happened?" he asked, confusedly staring at Esinon and then the stars on her ceiling.
"Yeah, that's Tup- but she's burning a temperature of 103," Fives said, Kix flicked on the lights growling to himself, before heading into the fresher and grabbing a container filling it up with cold water from the bathtub. The increase in light caused Esinon to whine even more, tugging the blanket over her head. She was tired, in pain, feverish, and cold, she just wanted to be left alone.
"Wash clothes are top drawer on the left," he said, Fives nodded heading over to it and pulled out a multitude of wash clothes. Esinon let out a low groan as she rolled over again, tugging her blanket around her tighter. "Get that blanket away from her," Fives sighed, placing the wash clothes on her nightstand, gently tugging at the blanket that Esinon was white-knuckling.
"Esinon, you need to let go," he said softly, she whimpered, her shoulders trembling with shivers. "I know you're cold, but please let go." Esinon continued to tug against the covers in a fight against Fives. He sighed, deciding to resort to his last-ditch option. "I'll get Cody in here if you don't let go right this instant." Esinon instantly released the blankets. Fives smirked, rolling up the fabric and tossing it to the corner of the room. Fives knew Cody wasn't here but feverish Esinon didn't. Kix had already begun soaking wash clothes in the cold water, he placed one on her forehead, handing over one to Fives. Esinon curled into a tighter ball, her muscles clenching up at the cold objects, weakly trying to fight against them.
"Cold," she whined, weakly swatting at Fives's hands,
"I know I know, but this gonna help," she murmured something he couldn't make out as she continued to fight against the cold, at one point she did win, she used the force unknowingly, causing all the rags to come flying back at the two troopers faces. Fives sighed,
"Feisty as ever aren't we," Kix mumbled, getting back to work, she began to murmur, squirming restlessly,
"It's alright, you're safe," Fives soothed, it quieted the Jedi, but she didn't stop moving, after reapplying the rags for the umpteenth time, Kix let out a harsh breath.
"Her fever's safer...I'm gonna go grab some more acetaminophen," he mumbled, "I'll be back," Fives nodded as Esinon finally stilled on the mattress, realizing how warm she had actually been feeling.
"Taz, can you wake up for me please?" Fives whispered, running a hand down her shoulder. She blinked her eyes open,
"I wanna sleep Echo," she murmured, Fives sighed, sepsis was worse than he thought. He hated having his little sister not be able to recognize him.
"No Esinon, it's Fives, you need to take more medicine for your fever," he said, sitting down on the edge of her bed. She murmured something, scrunching her eyes shut again. "Come on Esinon, please, for me?" She grabbed his arm, pulling herself up and resting against his shoulder.
"Hurry up, 'm tired," she muttered, he sighed with a soft smile.
"Almost done," he murmured, "almost done," Kix soon returned with medicine and water.
"Here you go miracle, take this and you can go back to sleep." He handed over the medicine to Esinon which she took. Kix had begun calling her miracle ever since she came back from the dead. Esinon flopped back on the pillow, she tapped Fives's hand.
"I want my blanket back," she mumbled, Fives glanced up at Kix. He grabbed the thermometer and scanned her temperature before giving Fives the go-ahead to return her blanket. He did and Esinon instantly curled up,
"Call me if anything happens," Kix said, groggily running a hand down his face. Fives nodded,
"Get some sleep vod," Fives said, grabbing a chair from the corner of the room. He was too awake to sleep now. He grabbed the datapad he had next to his cot and decided to write some reports until he could get tired enough to go back to sleep. The soft glow of the stars and his datapad filled the room as he wrote. Esinon was quiet for the most part, except when she would roll over. Fives had noticed that Esinon had been a restless sleeper ever since she had gotten back but he only assumed that was because of the injuries on her back and the fact that she could have been attacked by guards at any moment. He was nearly through his fourth report when a loud gasp sounded from beside him. Esinon had curled in on herself, shrinking from something. Fives placed a comforting hand onto her forearm, "Shh, you're safe, I promise," nothing he said seemed to comfort her,
"No… no, please, please don't hurt them," she mumbled,
"It's alright Taz, no ones gonna hurt anyone," he whispered, as she continued to thrash in her nightmare, his heart growing heavier as the Jedi's cries and muffled screams didn't subside. Esinon finally seemed to calm, her chest heaving as she settled. Fives released her arm, returning back to his reports.
"Jedi…" she murmured, "Jedi… only make things…. worse." she muttered, tugging the blanket around herself tighter.
"Esinon," Fives whispered, sitting stiffly in his chair.
"...Jedi only make things worse…" she murmured again, her head shaking restlessly in her nightmare. She clenched her fists into her sheets, she blinked a couple of times, looking blearily at him. "Fives?" he snapped out of his stiffness,
"You're safe, I promise," he whispered, gently stroking her thin shoulder. She blinked her eyes a couple more times, leaning into his touch, latching herself onto his arm,
"Fives… don't let them hurt the people…it's my fault… it's all my fault," she whimpered,
"I won't," he whispered, his heart clenching with her every word, she clearly wasn't in reality, but at least she could recognize him, everything she had been put through, it just wasn't fair. Fives wished he could just take all the pain and suffering that she was experiencing right now. They sat like this for a few minutes, she laid still, clasping onto his arm, he thought she had fallen back asleep,
"C-cold," she murmured, snuggling underneath the blankets until they touched her nose,
"I know, but you won't be soon," he said,
"F-fives, cold," she whispered, "Obi-wan," the ARC glanced back over at her with the sudden name change, well, with the fever it wasn't uncommon. "D-don't go, Obi-Wan, I don't want to be alone." she whimpered again,
"Don't worry, I'm not gonna leave your side," he promised,
"Obi-Wan," she muttered again, tugging on his arm again, "Please Obi-wan," Fives remembered the first time Esinon had gotten a fever. For the entire week, she'd been pretty happy to attach onto any person she could get. She was extremely clingy when she was sick… maybe that was it. She needed physical grounding. Fives pushed Esinon gently over to the other side of the bed, climbing in it himself, letting the young girl curl up in his side, her body still tense, he gently rubbed her back, "Don't worry Taz, I got you." It wasn't long before she had drifted off into a deep sleep, Fives falling asleep not long after that. The siblings needed rest, and Esinon having someone to ground her, helped the force work it's magic far better than bacta ever could.
Padme: I'm coming to the medical station before heading down to Mandalore for the negotiations
Anakin: I totally forgot about those, everything's been a bit of a mess up here
Padme: That's alright Ani, you focus on taking care of yourself,
Anakin: that's not who I need to take care of rn
Padme: My flight's almost done, and I'm coming to help
Padme: you can't stop me love
Anakin: I wouldn't try angel,
A week had gone by, and it felt like a blur. Anakin had barely slept, there were too many meetings with Kix and the doctors and questions, and reports, and missed meals. His head hurt all of the time. Taking care of Ahsoka was one thing, but Esinon too, plus helping with Rex? It was a lot and he was trying to be the best Master he could be. Currently, he was frowning down at three different pill organizers.
"How do I even kriffin'-" he growled under his breath as he shifted his gaze from the bottles of pills to the files of flimsi in his other hand. At the moment he had completely forgotten that Padme was even coming, he was just trying to get everyone's medicine organized. He jumped when someone put a hand on his shoulder,
"Relax Ani, it's just me," Padme said, Anakin sighed,
"Sorry Mey," he muttered, kissing her on the temple,
"Tell me what's going on," she said softly, wrapping an arm around her husband's waist.
"Well, Esinon's relapsing- got a new infection and that's a whole new round of antibiotics on top of the sepsis ones. And Rex is relapsing and has got an infection or something. Kix says that they might need to give him a g-tube also because he can't keep anything down, neither can Esinon. They both have been throwing up all week, and Ahsoka needs dietary supplements. And-" he paused, dropping his head, "And I don't know what I'm doing," he murmured, Padme scooted in front of her husband embracing him fully. She gently ran his fingers through his hair as he buried his head in her shoulder. "I'm so tired Mey," he whimpered,
"You need to sleep Ani,"
"But I need to take care of everyone, I can't fail, not again," he whispered,
"You can't take care of others if you can't take care of yourself first." she murmured, he let out a shuddered breath. "I'll help you with this, then you're going to sleep," Anakin nodded weakly. Padme was right, he needed a break. Then again, she was usually right about everything. The couple set out to organize everyone's meds, and then Anakin got some much-needed rest.
Esinon let out a low growl as her hands continued to tremble,
"Why can't I kriffin'-" she grumbled, as she tried to attach the tube to her g-tube.
"Let me help," Fives said, she sighed, her fever had finally broken and Kix was walking lighter.
"Why won't my hands stop shaking," she murmured,
"Because one this makes you anxious, and I know it. You go pale just looking at the g-tube," Fives said, attaching the tube to the opening before grabbing the bag of liquidized food and sucking it into the syringe. He inserted the syringe into the tube and began to feed it into Esinon's body. She clenched her fists around her blanket, taking shaky deep breaths. "And two, your body is still exhausted, you need more rest."
"I don't," she muttered, "All I've been doing is sleeping,"
"And it will help you get stronger, ok? You need to take it easy, we don't want you to relapse again. We've only just gotten your fever to break," he said, Fives's voice wavering. She glanced at her brother,
"I know, but I want to see Rex. I want to get up and walk around, I don't want to be useless anymore." She murmured, Fives sighed, drawing more liquidized food into the syringe and returning to his task.
"I know, but you're of no use to anyone dead."
"I know,"
"Don't give up, we're in this together," he said, glancing up at her, smiling softly.
"Love you Fives," she murmured, starting to drift off asleep again.
"Love you too Taz," he whispered,
"You'll need to give these to Drummer, it's an updated list of all of her medication," Kix said, handing over a datapad to Cody as Esinon sat boredly in a repulsor chair. After almost two weeks she'd finally been released from the med station and she could go back to her cruiser. "No speedster anything," Esinon sighed, dragging a hand down her face,
"I know, I know," she replied, "Can I go back to my cruiser now please?"
"Yes," Kix said, handing over a bag of medications to Cody, who was already holding Esinon''s duffle bag. The Commander stared down at the pad and pills to his General. They were gonna have a heck of a time getting her back to full strength. Even staring at her, she looked so small in the repulsor chair, sweatshirt hanging loosely around her thin form. Kix leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Take it easy little miracle, ok?" Kix had started to call her miracle after she came back from the dead, she nodded.
"Thank you Kix, for everything," he gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze before she moved her repulsor chair into a waiting ship.
"Have the men been alig-" before she could finish Cody had dropped to a knee and wrapped her up in a tight hug.
"Force I've been worried," he murmured, Esinon gave a tired sigh burying her head in her Commander's shoulder.
"'M sorry," she whispered,
"It's alright, I'm just glad you're back." Cody finally let her go as he started to prep the ship. Esinon grabbed the back of a chair and forced herself up, "Are you sure you-"
"I can walk," she said, "Just not that far," she mumbled, Esinon gave a tired sigh. "When is life gonna go back normal?"
"I don't know if it ever was General," Cody replied, as they began to pull out of the medical station hanger. Esinon chuckled,
"Yeah, have the men been alright?" she asked,
"Mhmm, just worried but we've kept everything running," she rested her head against the back of the chair, her eyes slowly closing. "Drummer has a recovery plan for you. He doesn't trust you-"
"Umbara?"
"Yup,"
"I deserve that,"
"Anyways, you're being assigned a buddy. I'm your first one," Cody explained,
"I think I can tolerate that, but I'll have you know I don't need to be coddled. I can handle this," she murmured, Cody glanced over at her before focusing back on flying towards the Negotiator.
"You know, needing help doesn't make you weak. Actually asking for it makes you stronger," he said quietly, Esinon glanced over at him.
"I want help. I really do, but I don't want people to be thinking I'm helpless, because I'm not." she replied, "I can fight for myself,"
"Oh we know," Cody replied, Esinon smirked,
"You're a good Commander Cody," she replied, "A better one than I ever was,"
"No. You were a good Commander and an even better General,"
"Even though I'm as stubborn as a bantha?"
"You were raised by a Kenobi and a Skywalker, I don't know if you could exactly help it," he replied, Esinon chuckled,
"Kenobi and a Skywalker… not one of the council's better decisions," she mumbled, starting to drift off to sleep.
"It was a perfect one if you ask me," Cody whispered as to not disturb his sleeping Jedi. He thought Esinon was perfect just the way she was, stubbornness and all.
Esinon hadn't eaten a single food in two weeks, she'd only been taking the liquidized food. Even though she hated the g-tube, she would not eat anything that wasn't in a package. Fives had tried to offer her food from the mess hall when Kix had approved it, but Esinon had instantly refused it. So Fives quit pushing it. He wasn't in the mood to argue with her about anything because half the time in her feverish spells he couldn't even recognize him. There was a reason behind Esinon not wanting to touch anything that wasn't in a package first.
Cody on the other hand had stayed up and read the mission report on Zygerria, both Rex and Skywalker had already filed one. He also read over Kix's medical report, understanding what he could. He had gotten a general idea of what might have happened on Zygerria, but he couldn't know everything because mission reports couldn't tell everything. So when supper time came, he was ready, at least he hoped he was.
Esinon had tried to stay out of the repulsor chair to start regaining some muscle mass but she had to hold on tightly to Cody's arm anyway. By the time dinner rolled around the young Jedi had exhausted herself and collapsed into a repulsor chair.
"Hungry?" Cody asked, Esinon glanced up at him.
"Drummer got my 'food' in the medbay?" she asked, hovering alongside him. Esinon was still in sweats instead of her robes, she was still in bandages and her back was sore. Correction her everything was sore, she was still on heavy painkillers and medication, but it couldn't get rid of all the pain.
"Yes- but Kix said it was fine for you to eat in the mess hall today, and the men really want to see you," he said happily, Esinon nodded slowly,
"Ok, but that table better be repulsor chair friendly," she joked, Cody smiled as they finally entered the mess hall. The two entered the mess hall, Cody led her to a table, instructed her to stay and went to go get food.
By the time he had returned she had been swarmed by 212th troopers, who were just excited to see their General again after two weeks. Cody panicked for a second, wondering if being crowded would set off a bad memory, but she actually looked rather calm. She wasn't engaging with the conversation but seemed wrapped up in listening. She had been uncharacteristically quiet for all of the time he had been watching her. Cody edged his way back to her side, setting down a tray in front of her.
She barely spared the food a glance, instead, she focused on whatever story Boil was wrapped up in. He noticed that Esinon hadn't touched her food, he was patiently waiting for her to make a move on her dinner, but it never came. He finished eating, and she had still yet to lift a finger towards her utensils, it was clear she needed prodding.
"General," he began in a soft voice, "Do you want to eat?" She tensed up, inching away from her plate, she shook her head. "You really need to eat," She shook her head again, eyeing the plate of food suspiciously. It was almost a fearful gaze, Cody blinked, he remembered reading something in a report that the food may have been poisoned, or just bad. He realized that Esinon now associated all food with the pain that came with eating on Zygerria. He gently wrapped an arm around her, "Do you want to try?" She shook her head, leaning further into his touch. "I promise it won't hurt you," She turned her head into his chest, definitely the problem. He scooted her plate closer to him and grabbed some of the food into his spoon, he made sure she was watching as he swallowed, "See?" She took a shaky breath,
"Ok," she ate slowly and skeptically, and Cody was disappointed at how small the amount of food she did eat was. At least she ate something.
After dinner, Cody was losing the battle to get Esinon to go to her quarters and sleep. She kept making up all kinds of excuses from wanting to take a walk around the ship or saying something about her wanting to work on some paperwork. Cody was exhausted and grouchy, he was trying to be patient with his General, but it was getting late.
"General, can we please go to bed? It's getting late, and I'm exhausted,"
"Cody, I want-"
"No," his voice came out sharper than he intended, and she flinched at the outburst. "General, it's getting late. Why don't you want to go to sleep?" Esinon panicked for a second, sleeping alone wasn't safe. She was used to having Rex sleeping one bunk above her, not that he could do much if the Zygerrians decided to attack again, but he was there. That was comforting. She remembered that one night she had to sleep alone, it was a very painful night for her. Besides, Fives had slept next to her hospital bed every night… she didn't want to be alone.
"I…" she began, she wasn't ready to talk about it. Cody noticed that she was slowly starting to panic.
"Hey, hey, hey, it's alright. If you don't want to sleep in your quarters, we can probably find an extra bunk in the barracks that isn't being used by the night crew." She finally conceded and followed him to the clone barracks, everyone was already asleep. Cody motioned to the bunk above his and she climbed in. He began stripping his armor, planning to wait until Esinon fell asleep to go to bed, no matter how tired he was.
"Cody?" Came the soft whisper, he turned around to see Esinon curling up in her blanket,
"Yes General?"
"I'm sorry," she whispered, Cody paused looking up at her.
"For what?" he asked,
"For not being braver," she mumbled,
"This," he motioned around him, "Doesn't make you any less brave,"
"I can't even sleep by myself," she replied, looking ashamed of herself, her eyes brimming with tears.
"General, you have been through so much, just because you need some help doesn't make you a coward. Most people wouldn't have been able to survive all that you have."
"Any of you could have," she said, motioning at the sleeping clones. "Rex did,"
"Because of you, you're a little beacon of hope. So what you're a little afraid, anyone would be after that. It's ok to let someone help you sometimes," Cody said, gently rubbing her shoulder, "Ok?" she nodded slowly, "Try and go to sleep, alright?"
"Do or do not," she yawned, snuggling under her blankets, "There is no try…" She drifted off to sleep, Cody smiled softly, pulling the blankets up around his General.
"Goodnight Esinon,"
That morning Esinon didn't need prodding to eat anything, but she still didn't eat a ton. Bean wasn't overly bothered by that since she did have the g-tube going for her. Esinon stirred her food around,
"What do you want to do for the next few hours?" Bean asked, watching her stare down at her food.
"Uh, I've got some flimsi work and reports I've gotta get through. Fives kept hiding all my work while I was at the medical station," she said, pushing her plate away.
"Well, I think for a good reason, General. You were in the ICU."
"I know, I know," she mumbled, "But the war doesn't stop because I was injured,"
"There's no shame in a break though," he replied, she smiled at him,
"Yeah, I still gotta get some paperwork though. And I thought you'd be perfect to help me organize my disaster of an office than, since you have an addiction to the smell of new flimsi, sticky notes, and organizing things."
"All of those are very true things," Bean replied, she smiled softly. Bean nudged her plate back towards her, "Just a little more? Please?" Esinon sighed, deciding not to fight Bean on it and just eat.
"I'm gonna try and get Rex here," Drummer said, cleaning up a few things in the medbay. It had been a week since Esinon had returned. "Esinon keeps talking about him in her sleep, and people who suffer trauma together feel safer together."
"That's fine," Cody said, running a tired hand down his face. Drummer glanced at him,
"Is Esinon being difficult?"
"Not purposely, she's just dealing with a lot." Cody replied, "And she's trying to catch back up with work and everything, and it looks like she's gonna be a part of the security detail for the festival of light next week."
"Why?" Drummer exclaimed, "She only just got out of the ICU, the last thing she should be doing is a security detail. She's still only a hundred pounds."
"I know, I know, but I can't argue with the Jedi Council, and Esinon won't either. General Kenobi never did. Besides, a security detail won't require much of her, she just has to keep watch. Nothing's going to happen. Both the 501st and the 212th are required to be there barricading the planet, nothing's going to happen." Cody assured him,
"I don't care," Drummer snapped, "She's had enough, and needs to rest."
"She told me, she doesn't want to feel useless anymore. She's spent almost two weeks in the ICU, and as a slave, feeling powerless. Getting a sense of normality will be good for her," Cody said, Drummer shrugged,
"As I've said time and time again, I am the medic. But I'll let you have this one," he replied, Cody smiled,
"Thank vod, and if I'm wrong. I'll buy you a drink,
"With what money?" Drummer snorted,
"Are you ready to spar?" Anchor asked as he and Esinon walked down the hallway.
"You'll have to take it easy on me," she joked,
"I feel like I'm going to and then you'll absolutely decimate me," he said, she let out a huff,
"What did I tell you about throwing your weight Anchor? Currently, I weigh a hundred pounds, I would know because Drummer just made me weigh myself, and two you weigh two hundred pounds. You could easily pin me,"
"Then what about staffs? You seem to like those," he offered, Esinon nodded,
"Sure, that sounds fine," A few minutes later they had gotten set up and began sparring. Esinon did a quick double hit at his staff as they began to dance across the mats. Even without her speed, Esinon was still fast as she continued to advance on him. Anchor didn't really care if he lost because he could see the familiar fire returning to his General's eyes as she continually attacked him. This lasted for the better part of an hour before they collapsed onto the mats panting, "Force that was awesome," she grinned,
"Just like old times huh, General?" she rolled over to her side propping herself up on her elbow.
"You know, when I name you Anchor I didn't think you were gonna keep it."
"Why not?" he asked, she rolled back over,
"I dunno, that's a brother thing, and I didn't want to interfere with that ya know? It's better than 'CT-8908' I guess, and I didn't want to call you by your number. It's demeaning." Anchor shrugged,
"You've always acted like a brother towards us or a mom. I guess… I've never had a mom, but from what I've read sometimes you act like one." Esinon snorted,
"Yeah, I guess I do sometimes. I'm used to having to take care of people, my dad, my sister, all of you guys. There's not a lot of the other way around, I guess there has been lately, but it feels weird…"
"No shame in it though,"
"Yeah, I just like taking care of people, I remembered the first time Xavier got sick. I stayed up all night to take care of him, I ended up getting sick too, but I remember loving taking care of someone else. It was tough, granted because I couldn't speak a ton of basic, but the feeling was still the same."
"And you don't get the same by letting someone else take care of you?"
"I dunno… I feel like a burden somehow, even though I know I'm not."
"Well I for one like helping you out, after all you've done for us."
"Well if you're saying thank you, then this is you're welcome," she stretched out her hand, he clasped it tightly. And they stayed like that,
"You hungry?" Boil asked, it was his turn to watch the General. She frowned,
"Not especially, no," she said, rubbing at her abdomen where the feeding tube would be inserted. He glanced down at her, smiling softly. He still remembered the energetic twelve-year-old who had come barreling into his and Waxer's lives. Waxer would have loved taking care of Esinon, he would have signed up more than once, just to make sure Esinon knew she was loved. His heart panged with sadness for a moment, he shook himself from the memories.
"Well it's lunch and medicine time for you," he said, ruffling her hair. She sighed as they approached the medbay,
"I know," she rubbed at her abdomen again, "I know," they entered the medbay where Drummer had busied himself with other things, and barely spared a glance at them. He'd already shown Boil how to help Esinon with her 'lunch'. It was essentially liquified nutrients, Drummer decided it was the best way to get her weight back.
"Alright, here we go," he picked her up, setting her on the bed, making her giggle. Boil smiled at her as he grabbed the bag of nutrients starting to shake it, grabbing the oversized syringe. He heard the bed rattle slightly behind him, he turned to see Esinon's knee bouncing. She really hated doing this, "So I'm still watching you for a few hours after this, what do you want to do?" he asked, trying to keep her distracted. She looked up at him, getting momentarily distracted, but her knee bouncing soon resumed.
"I dunno," she mumbled, her fists clenching around the sheets. Boil sighed, Waxer had always been better at this kind of thing.
"How about a movie? Can't exactly train after this," he said, drawing the food into the syringe, grabbing the tube that would feed it into her body.
"Whatever you want," she mumbled, paling a little at the sight of the syringe.
"No, but what do you want to do?" he asked, she tugged up her tunic so he could insert the feeding tube. Only then did her knee bouncing still so he could get the syringe inside her body, she scrunched her eyes shut, fists clenching the edge of the bed until her knuckles went white. Boil inserted the tube quickly into the port in her abdomen, the syringe quick to follow. Her knee bouncing resumed, "Relax," Boil whispered, placing a hand on her trembling knee, "It's alright, you're safe," she let out a shuddered deep breath. Her eyes scrunching tighter. "Almost done, you're doing so well," he praised, trying to put the trembling Jedi at ease. Esinon only gave a small nod, refusing to look. Boil finished the rest of the concoction in the tube, removing it from her body. "All done," he quickly put the tools out of her sight. Esinon tentatively opened her eyes, "That wasn't so bad, huh?" She let out a weary laugh,
"How about we trade places," she muttered, some of the color returning to her pale face, sweat glistening in the lights above. Sure she'd done this before but it was mostly when she was asleep or out of it in a fever spell. She'd never been so conscious to do it.
"Just think, only a few more weeks and you can take that thing out," he replied,
"That seems like forever," she mumbled, he walked over placing a hand on her shoulder,
"Almost there verd'ika," most troopers had dropped verd'ika because technically, Esinon wasn't a Commander anymore. She instantly wrapped him in a hug, faster than he could blink.
"I miss him too," she whispered, hugging him tightly,
"He loved you, you know that right?" Boil asked, hugging her back, trying to force tears downward.
"He loved you more, he loved all of his brothers."
"We're carrying that love now."
"We'll carry it with pride," she replied,
"Always,"
"Always,"
Cody watched Esinon anxiously bouncing on her toes, waiting for Rex's gunship to arrive. She had been pacing back and forth for the last twenty minutes before finally standing in one spot.
"I haven't seen you this anxious in a while," Cody said, Esinon let out low grumble, rubbing at her abdomen again, growling when her fingers caught on her g-tube.
"How much longer?"
"Till you get your g-tube out or till Rex's gunship gets here?" he asked, smirking down at the young Jedi.
"Both," she replied,
"Drummer says you need to weigh one-twenty before you can have surgery to get it out and Rex is arriving-" the hanger doors slid open, "right now," The gunship landed and the doors slid open, Rex practically sprinted to meet Esinon. They quickly inspected one another for injury, before Esinon tackled him in a hug.
"Force, I've missed you," she whispered, her feet dangling off the ground as Rex held her tight.
"You've gotten bigger," he murmured, she chuckled as Rex finally set her back on the ground.
"I gained a whole ten pounds, can you believe that?" she joked, she paused and sighed, "When did my life get to the point where I'm excited about gaining weight?"
"After you went to the ICU," he said quietly, Esinon stared at her feet for a moment before Rex pulled her back into a hug. "But we're gonna be ok now, life can go back to somewhat normal." She chuckled,
"Yeah, normal,"
"Come on, let's go for a walk,"
A few hours later…
"You know, I think if Cut wasn't a farmer he could become a therapist," Esinon said, wiggling her feet as they sat in an empty section of the hanger.
"How come?" Rex asked,
"Because we spent a lot of time talking, talking about stuff I don't get to talk about in the Jedi Order. Half of us have mental disorders, and all of it seems too taboo to talk about. I didn't even know I had heightened anxiety until Drummer diagnosed me. I got to talk about stuff about being a soldier that I don't really get to talk about in the Jedi Order. I would talk about it with Master Kenobi sometimes, mostly about the survivor's guilt I've dealt- been dealing with. Anyways, I think I figured out why I've been feeling so guilty about all of…" she motioned to the ship, and then him, and then to her own thin form. "This,"
"Why?"
"I never forgave myself for Sarrish. Not really, I've told myself over and over again that I've forgiven myself for everything that happened in that cave. But I never really did, but I think I'm starting to. I was fourteen years old when all of that happened, so I started looking at my scars, meditating on the memories and it's given me a lot of clarity. Fives said that I kept saying 'Jedi only make things worse,' in my sleep and fever spells. I know that I've still got a long way to go, but I'm getting there." Rex clasped her shoulder, squeezing it tightly,
"You're taking big steps kid, big steps," he said, she smiled shuffling closer, leaning her head against his shoulder.
ONE MORE CHAPTER UNTIL OBI AND ESINON ARE REUNITED
I thought about combining this chapter and the next but- uh writers block sucks, trying to plow through the Onderon arc and it's not that I don't like that arc- I think it's hilarious... it's just very Ahsoka centric so I've already gotten tired of writing it. But it will be done on time! I promise.
Next up on let's canon corner: I feel like this is how some of Esinon, Waxer, and Boil's first interactions went.
Esinon comming Waxer: Uh, Waxer I mixed red bull and coffee and now I can see sound! Should I be worried!
Waxer: Probably not
Boil: KID DON'T MOVE I'M ON MY WAY
Thank you for reading and make sure to leave a review!