FSG Belongs To ELJAMES.

Apov

One month later

The funeral room buzzes with chatter. Very Unlikely! I stand at the rim of the room gazing at the beautifully constructed coffin with grey wood. Where did they find grey wood? I shake my head at the ridiculousness of the funeral house.

Grey Coffin? Seriously?

When I was the last time I was in a funeral? Dads and moms probably. I have avoided these things ever since but today was mandatory. My head pains, specially my heart. Its heavy, like a rock is struggling to get out. I shouldn't have come. Its just too difficult to be here and see all these people mourning. A shudder rains through me. Standing here, looking at all these people is just painful. It brings back old memories. Black clothes. Rain, rippling lightly. Grany at my side. Alice sobbing in her arms. I, sucking on the ornages to hold my wimperings. I take a deep a breath. Its a task to hold myself. Another minute and I will break down. I wrap my arms around my body as if concealing the pain radiating.

A huge lump hardens my chest as my eyes lands on Mr. And Mrs. Trevellyan at the front of the room gazing intently ahead. Tears tickling down from their eyes.

Eliza Jennings approaches them. They talk for a moment. Grandmother Phobie wipes her eyes, they bid their farewell and both the elderly makes their way through the chaos of the room towards me.

"Ana," Grandmother Phobie smiles at me. Probably forced. "Thank you for joining us."

"Its been my pleasure to be of any kind of help." I reply and clasp her hand. "And...its was a must...for me to be here."

"There, now," Grandfather Theo says. "Well, lets get going. Elliot must be here to take you."

We walk to the door and for the last time they both turn to face the room. "Poor, Eliza," Grandfather Theo says. "His brother was young..." He shakes his head and we walk out.

In the parking, Elliot is already stationed. "Hey banana," he beams. "How was the funeral ?"

Both his grandparents scowls at him. I slap his arm. "Really, Elliot? How do you think a funeral could be?"

He scratches his head. "I've never been in one. So, yeah, no idea."

I groan and shake my head already depressed.

Four hours, I have to tolerate him till we reach Seattle. Now I think of it, how did I ended up here?

I should have declined but when Mr. and Mrs Trevellyans mentioned their close neighbours Eliza and Mathew Jennings, I couldn't refuse. Young siblings. Nice and perfect. Mathew was in FBI. Apparently, on some kind of mission or something, he died. It was shock, yes, but...I shake my head. Trevellyans are extremely upset about that, specially Eliza, who's left alone. God. I have known her as long as the Trevellyans. How is she going to cope? I decide to give her a visit in time.

I give both the grandparents a big hug and settles in the passenger seat as Elliot literally scoops his grandmother in his arms as she protests. He plants a big kiss on his grandfathers cheek and I suppress a laugh. Gosh! He's unbelievable.

After the kisses and hugs and slapping and scolding (Him form his grandparents), we are on the road.

He puts on Frank Sinatra and sings along as I stare out of the window.

Four hours. I sigh.

"So," I ask after a while. "Why was Kate yelling when I called?"

"Oh, that." He shrugs. " She is hysteric. Something about her dress...I don't.."

I nod. "The wedding. Right."

One month. They had to wait and now finally they are getting married.

"Friday is it, then? In the backyard?" I ask.

"Yes." He nods. "With just few friends and all, nothing big. And you not need to worry Ana. Mia and Kate and Mom will look after everything. You just take care of my baby bro."

Christian. Right. I sigh.

I close and lean back against the seat and scenes of the day in the hospital comes rushing back to me. Chaos. The Greys sobbing. Mia in hysterics. The doctor and nurses rushing out of the OT. And a total of twelve hours later, Christian wakes. Thank the doctor! His head was deeply wounded and he was dizzy for a while. He couldn't even eat or talk. I sat with him all day. Wishing. Just wishing for him to get better. Now that he is back home, what will happen? I've avoided any thoughts or talk of our situation for the past month. But it cannot go on forever. Sooner or later I've to confront it. Sooner or later I've to leave. Meanwhile his mother...Mom, has been nothing but gentle. Perhaps she feels the pain as well. And like it was nothing that Eliza's brother had to die. Leave her like this. Life is unfair and we cannot do anything but complian when in confusion.

We cross the Amityville residence and with the Summertime on play I doze off.

"Ana..." Christian croaks. I look up.

"Christian. I'll call the doctor..."

"No. Wait." He grabs my hand. "You are here."

I bite back a sob. "Yes. I am."

"Don't leave."

"I won't." I shake my head frantically and take his face in my hands. "Christian, I am so sorry. For everything."

"No." He lifts his hand to wipe my tears but fails. "Damnit!... I am sorry."

"You are dieing and you are apologizing." I complain.

"There you go. The worst sense of humore." He laughs, hoarse as if it pains him to.I shake my head fix my eyes at him. His grey eyes sunken and so weary.

"I hurt you...I...I should not...I should go..."

"No." He grips my hand. "Break my heart...a thousand time if you want. It was only ever yours to break anyway. Just don't go..."

"Christian..."

"Ana..."

"Ana. Ana." Elliot calls. My eyes flutter opens. He is shaking my shoulder.

I groan. "Ah! what happened?"

He smiles. "You are home."

I peer out and sigh. Escala.

"Why don't you just..." I begin.

"No, Ana. Christian needs mending."

"He's fine you know. Last evening he was yelling at someone in the phone."

Elliot scowls. "He was?" I nod.

"Well, then, he is, I guess." He gives a thoughtful look then grins. "Still. What about his heart?"

"Excuse me?" I back away, though there is not space for me to.

"Hey. Come on banana." His eyes twinkle with mischief.

"Elliot no..."

"Ana. You have you try, if he is trying. You cannot keep running you know. Ask him about Hope."

I look at him. He nods. "He has kept himself close for so long and if he's willing to open up. To you. Let him. Just...try. Not just for him. But for yourself too."

I take deep breath and stare at the entrance of Escala.

"I already did." I reply and recall one of our talk.

*

"Who is Hope, Christian?" I ask.

His spoon of broth stops suspended in the air before his mouth. He lowers his spoon into the bowl, pushes it away and stares ahead.

"Christian..."

"Janes daughter."

The air still in my throat. "What?"

"She fell in love with someone in Alaska and then...Hope." He swallows. His face betrays everything. How difficult it is for him to talk about this, I can clearly see. "Jane was only seventeen. He left her, thought she was mentally unstable and Jane...well, he didn knew about Hope. Whe she was born Jane gave her up. Some orphanage in...Sitka. With a convention that only a stable family shall adopt her or not." He sighs and rubs his face. I put my hand on his shoulder.

"She died. She was seventeen and she died. She took her own life. And you know what?" He faces me. " I wanted Hope. I couldn't save Jane. I wanted to save Hope. But..." And for the first time I see Christian breaking as tears rolls down his eyes. I inch closer and wrap my arms around him. His soft sob muffle in my hair.

*

"Then you know?" Elliot says.

"Yeah." I nod staring ahead. "The orphanage won't let him have Hope unless he has stable family. Thats why he wanted to get married. That's why he married for some silly convention by a dead girl."

"Silly, yes." Elliot was agrees. His voice sounds far off. "Jane was silly."

"But thats not fair Elliot." I face him. My eyes prickling with tears. "Hope died. So young. Two weeks after Christian brought me here. Not fair to Christian. To the girl. To anyone."

"Ana." he puts his hand on my shoulder. "Nothing is fair in life. And Hope was ill because Jane had a large amount of drug in her system. Hope was born ill."

I shudder and cover my face. "And Christian blames himself for Janes death?"

"He will come over it. He promised Jane he will there when she will need him but when she really did, Christian was not there. He couldn't. He was in Harvard. He blames himself..."

"Because he thinks he could have save her." I finish.

He takes my hand. "Ana. Mom, never gave him the letters from Jane. She neither read, just abided by dads wishes. She should have, I know. For years, were angry at mom, specially dad who stopped her. But we got over it. With a consequence, yes. Now Christian blames himself. Though he will get over it. And its all very complicated. You will wreck your brain thinking about it. but if anyone can help him, its you. Please. Try."

I look at him. His eyes are sincere full of love and concern for his brother.

Try.

*

The lifts opens and I yelp.

"Do I look so bad?" He scowls. Eye brow raised.

"Gosh! Christian, you gave me a fright."

"Sorry." He grabs my hand and drags me to the kitchen.

"You cannot stand in front of the elevator like that." I complain.

"Like what?" He frowns.

"So...so..." I study. Nothing special. Just jeans and white shirt. Right. White shirt. "Like a ghost. In a white shirt."

"Should I try orange then?" He tilts his head.

"Ow, come on. What do you want?"

"Ice cream." He gesture to the bowls of ice on the bar table.

I narrow my eyes at him. "Are you allowed to eat that?"

"Absolutely." I jump on the barstool and join him.

"Here, for you madam. Vanilla flavor."

"Why, thank you sir." I scoop a bite and moan. Ah! This is nice. Even for few moments, everything is right. Him. Me. And ice cream. He hasn't been indifferent to me since our tiny talk in the hospital. Which I feel glad about but I cannot be with him and Elliot doesn't understands that. He thinks the otherswise. How to explain? To him? To his entire family? Even his father who is been kind so far erasing all the differences? No. This has to end.

"Christian." I face him and find him gazing at me. With intense grey eyes. For a moment I literally dissolve in them but then I shake up.

"What?" I ask.

He smiles. "Marry me."

Every cell inside me stills. I put the bowl on the bar and jump off the stool.

"Ana." Christian grabs my hand and pulls me to him. "Marry me."

I shake my head. "No, Christian."

*

Okay. I hope you like it.

And Christian didn't die. And yes, I skipped a month. Not much to do on that.

Anyway, should Ana accept Christian's proposal? Now this is a situation to wonder.

Please review.

Beverly (Terrible Writer)