Family
Chapter 44: Coping Part Two
Author's note: Previously on Family, after the Fear Gas has been dealt with, Heero has been busy with the clean-up. After the state funeral, the five men met in Heero's penthouse where they shared about their worst fears. Heero made Wufei his failsafe so that should he ever lose control, there will be someone to stop him. Trowa is still not over what have happened during the landslide but Heero wants him to move on. While Duo is moving on with his life, Quatre wants to do the same as well. Heero went to find Fate and she shared about what she has experienced when she was down due to the fear gas. She was finally able to be discharged from the hospital after barely passing the test. Heero is worried about Fate's health but he will watch over her.
This chapter will not be broken down into shorter chapters, but it will be a long chapter instead.
Warning: Mature, Dark Themes in this chapter, you are warned!
Thank you for reading this story and I hope that you will continue to support it. Please read and review, NO FLAMERS! Pairing: HeeroXOC
After Colony AC 203, 11th August
Colony L4, Dorothy' Mansion,
Morning, 10am
Quatre was feeling nervous today but he decided that he wasn't going to hesitate any longer. He had a lot of time to think things through when he was on board the plane to fly from VLA to Colony L4. He had thought about his own nightmare, what Heero had said and about Dorothy. He had returned to Colony L4 in the early morning. He had tried to get some rest, but he wasn't able to get much sleep. This was it, the moment he had waited so long for. A part of him was filled with dread of what was to come, after all maybe deep down he knew that she wouldn't feel the same. No matter how much she meant to him…
He rang the bell at the gates and shivered slightly at the déjà vu that he had related to his nightmare for it was about this mansion as well. He announced himself and asked to meet Dorothy. The gates were opened and lets him in. He walked across the gardens to reach the main mansion where her butler showed him in.
"Miss Catalonia is in the private sitting room on the second floor." The butler informed him.
Quatre thanked him and went up the stairs. He has been here quite a few times over the years that he knew where most of the rooms were. Dorothy will always be in the private sitting room after taking her breakfast in the morning. He gave a sharp knock on the door before opening it. As usual she was seated on the sofa watching the news. Currently it was still a report on the fear gas incident, she must have known that he was caught in it. He went into the room and closed the door behind him. She turned to look at him when she heard the door close.
"I see that you have made it out alive." She said sarcastically.
"Yes, sadly you will still be seeing more of me." He said.
"A shame indeed." She said, reaching out to turn the screen off.
She looked at him closely as if examining him in detail. He was tired and knew that he needed to rest first. But for now, he was here to tell her the truth.
"What brings you here, neighbour?" She asked.
He didn't know where to start but walked over to sit down on the sofa opposite her.
"Well?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.
"As you know I was caught in the gas attack on Blue Marine Pub." Quatre started.
"Yes, it was all over the news in Colony L4. You know how the media loves you so much that they think it was appropriate to flash your name with large capital words, nobody was able to miss it." Dorothy said.
"Right…"
"Your servants were jumpy and panicking, I believe they even wanted to fly to VLA to save you. But I stepped in to stop them." Dorothy said.
"Why did you do that?" Quatre asked.
"We don't need any more panicky people in VLA especially when everyone already had their hands full. Although there was quite a lot of focus on Heero Wingate, after all he is a man of very well-known status. One can't possibly imagine how they even got to Heero, but I guess even a man as strong as that can fall, proving that he's just as human as we all are. Or we simply forgot that he's human too." Dorothy pointed out.
"What about you, were you worried about me?" Quatre asked.
"Oddly, I wasn't, I was disappointed that I wasn't there to watch you suffer as you had your nightmares. Oh, the missed opportunities." Dorothy sighed dramatically instead.
Quatre was silent for a short moment, did she even care about him when he was near death's doors? Dorothy drank her tea instead, but her eyes were still on him as if watching his every move.
"I… dreamt about you in my nightmares." Quatre said softly.
"Oh, let me guess. Was I stabbing you with my rapier again? Or was it me ruining your dates with other women? No maybe it was me poisoning you?" She asked as if she was expecting this.
"No, none of those." Quatre said, feeling annoyed at her suggestions.
"Nevertheless, I am honoured to be part of your nightmares, to think that you feared me that much." Dorothy said with a smirk on her face.
"It wasn't you that I feared… it was losing you that I feared." Quatre said bluntly.
She raised an eyebrow at him as if she hadn't heard him properly.
"I dreamt that Heero had murdered everyone in your mansion and was holding you hostage when I found both of you. I was powerless in trying to stop him and how in the end he killed you right before my eyes." Quatre admits.
Dorothy was silent as she stared at him.
"What are you trying to say, Winner?" She asked him.
He took in a deep breath and knew that he cannot delay this moment any longer.
"I… love you, Dorothy." He said.
He stared straight into her eyes and can feel her freezing almost immediately. She broke eye contact with him but still said nothing.
"I have for a very long time now. But I never had the courage to tell you, until now. The nightmare made me realise that I couldn't lose you like that. Not before you knew how I felt about you." Quatre said.
Still she didn't respond to him at all and her lack of response was saddening.
"I know that we are completely different people and I don't even care about the fact that we have vastly different friends. I am willing to look past all of that because I really do love you Dorothy. I have tried my best to look after you especially since you moved in to be my neighbour. I am unsure if you have felt me making efforts in doing so." Quatre said.
"Stop!" Dorothy said suddenly, taking Quatre by surprise.
"Stop?" He asked.
"Don't say anymore." Dorothy said.
Quatre was saddened by her words and knew that indeed maybe it was all just a dream that will never come true.
"All these times, through all these years… can you honestly tell me that you have never felt anything else for me?" He asked softly.
She was silent but refused to look at him.
"Can you honestly say that you have never cared for me the way I cared about you?" Quatre asked.
Dorothy took in a deep breath before she looked directly at him.
"No Quatre. You were nothing more than a tool to me, a tool that I can provoke and manipulate easily. I enjoyed doing it because I like watching you squirm and freak out. Although I even impressed myself when I drove you over the edge causing you to erupt like a volcano. But that was all, you are just a form of entertainment to keep me occupied in my free and boring days." She said.
Her eyes and face were cool when she said that but Quatre didn't want to believe it. He wanted her to stop hiding from her true feelings, he wanted to tear away this cool, manipulative fake mask that she always puts on.
"Reach beyond this cold mask that you always wear, look deep within the heart that I know you have, and tell me that you don't feel anything for me." Quatre said.
"I don't feel anything for you, Quatre." She said as she shook her head.
Quatre looked down for a short moment before he stood up, she watched him but said nothing.
"If that is your answer then I ask for you to stand aside." Quatre said.
"What do you mean?" Dorothy asked him.
"If you choose not to be with me then I ask that you don't stop me from finding my own happiness. No more crazy sabotages and crazy manipulative plans. I am free to date whoever I want and be with whoever I want." Quatre declared.
Dorothy was silent again as if she were considering the matter.
"And I don't want to see you again. You will be refused at my doors by my servants." Quatre said.
"Surely that is a little drastic…"
"No, it's not. It's about time I moved on with my life, after all you wanted no part of it." Quatre said before he moved towards the door.
She didn't say anything or try to stop him from leaving. But he stopped before the door.
"I hope that one day you will look back on this day and not come to regret the decision that you have made. Goodbye Dorothy, for this will be the last time we see each other again." Quatre said.
He didn't look back at her because he couldn't bring himself to, hence he opened the door and left. He made his way back towards his mansion as quickly as he could. He felt like his love and heart was trampled on. He sighed, he has to get up and move beyond this. After all she had made her choice.
Meanwhile, Dorothy didn't move for a long time, even the tea had turned cold. She looked down at her clenched hands and knew that she had made a terrible mistake. It was the first time Quatre was brave enough to actually tell her how he felt about her. But… she knew that she couldn't make him happy. Not with her terrible personality and manipulative ways. She brushed away the tears that welled up at her eyes. She had been worried sick about him, how she would regret not treating him better if he had died because of the fear gas. Yet every time she sees him, she ended up being the terrible person again. She couldn't let go of this mask of hers and just be honest about her own feelings as well. How much heartbreak will she go through again, seeing him with someone else? Knowing that it could have been her?
"Quatre…" She whispered softly to no one.
Meanwhile,
Colony L1, VLA,
Moonstone Mansion, 9.30am
Fate woke up and was surprised that she had actually slept well. She turned to her side and was surprised to see that Heero was still in bed with her. Usually he would be gone by the first sight of dawn. She examined him from up close and noticed that his eyes were shut. Was he still sleeping? She wasn't sure. She was still hugging onto his arm and she knew that he must have felt uncomfortable to sleep in this position. She released him and sat up slowly on the bed, he must have sensed the movement for he turned and looked at her.
"Morning." She whispered.
"Morning, did you manage to sleep?" Heero asked.
She nodded and pushed her hair back hoping that she didn't have bed hair.
"What about you?" She asked.
Heero got off her bed and judging from the fact that he was fully dressed, he must have woken up and changed before getting into bed with her again.
"Yes, I managed to sleep a little. Faith came to find you approximately 30 minutes ago." He informed her.
"Faith?" She asked in surprise.
"She was more surprised to see me." Heero said.
Heero noticed Fate's lack of response.
"Fate."
"Yeah?" She asked, looking at him.
"I took the day off as I have some personal matters to settle. But I can accompany you if you want me to." Heero told her.
She considered the option; they do have things that they needed to talk about.
"After you have finished what you needed to do. While I will tend to my family and the media." Fate whispered.
"About that, I think it would be wise if you don't return back to the studios so soon. Take a longer time to rest first as the wrath of the media can be overpowering."
"But I can't stay hidden for long." Fate said.
"I am aware of that, but I am worried that you may not be in the right state of mind yet." He said.
"You think I would…"
"No, but I am simply worried. Let's call it as taking a precaution." Heero said, cutting in before she could finish her sentence.
"You told Federick?" She asked.
"I did, because I know he will keep an eye on you."
"You shouldn't have done that." She whispered.
"We will both relax if there is indeed nothing wrong, so don't think too much into it." Heero said.
Fate didn't know what to say, even Heero feels that she might suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) even though she was cleared from the test. But he was being cautious, maybe he knows something more than she does about her own mental condition. Heero came over and gave her a tight hug.
"I am not doubting you; I just want to be certain that you are alright. And if not, we need to get the appropriate help for it." Heero told her softly.
"You should go." Fate whispered, giving his hand a pat.
Heero knows that she is upset but there was no way he can tiptoe around her to determine if she was really alright.
"I will call you later." He told her.
She nodded and he gave her a kiss on the cheek to say goodbye. He was about to leave her room, but she held onto him as if in hesitation. Heero kissed her gently on the lips before she slowly released him.
"See you." She whispered.
Heero nodded and watched as she disappeared into the bathroom. Heero left Moonstone Mansion as there was somewhere, he needed to go to first.
Preventers' Headquarters
Morning, 11am
Only Wufei and Federick were back to work today. Duo and Trowa had chosen to take another day off as allowed by Lady Une for she needed them to be fit for duty, not still shaken by the events that have taken place. Lady Une had spent a lot of time clearing matters up after it was all over. Amazingly Heero's regiment dealt with matters efficiently and it was one of the most successful collaborations between the military and the Preventers. Thank goodness she hadn't lost any of her best Preventers, but indeed a lot of people had died from the gas attack. It was a warning to all of them to pay closer attention to terrorists who are often lurking behind the internet, spreading lies and hatred. Indeed, the peace that they had was so fragile. They managed to get by this time round, but they were under the media's constant fire. Why didn't they see this coming? Wasn't it their job to prevent such things from happening in the first place? Indeed, Lady Une had no one to blame. She can call all her intelligence monitoring personnel to the room, scold them till their ears bleed. But it will change nothing, for the fact was they were too late. Yes, they stepped in immediately to try to resolve the situation. But in the eyes of the public, they were still too late.
She had called Wufei to her room for she wanted to hear Wufei's report first-hand. Even though he had already obediently submitted his report for the matter this morning. There was a knock on the door and her secretary came in.
"Preventer Chang is here to see you."
"Send him in."
Lady Une watched as Wufei came in and approached her desk. He sat down on the chair in front of her desk.
"I saw your report." She said.
He nodded his head in acknowledgement but said nothing.
"Why didn't you choose to take another day off?" She asked.
"I want to get back to work as soon as possible. Our workload piled up since the three of us were down for a few days now." Wufei said.
"But are you sure that you are ready to return to work? Such events can be traumatic and may have aftereffects…"
"I have already been cleared by the team of psychiatrists." Wufei declared.
"Yes…"
"I don't see what else you need as proof that I can return to work." Wufei cuts in.
Lady Une sighed instead.
"We all have our own fears and I am certain that you saw yours coming alive before your eyes. We all react to our own fears differently. Are you certain you don't need more time to come to terms with it or to get it out of your mind?" Lady Une asked.
"I am fine." Wufei insisted.
"Okay." Lady Une said, putting his report aside since she had already read it.
"As you know, we are under a lot of fire from the media and the general public. We will have to work twice as hard to earn their trust in us again." Lady Une said.
"Even so, our work is often unseen and unheard of. Fire or not, doesn't change the fact that the Colonies still needs us, the fear gas incident proved as much." Wufei said.
"Yes, but people only complain on what can be seen." Lady Une.
"You want to reveal our mission accomplishments to the public?" He asked as his eyes narrowed as if in disapproval.
"No, that is not what I meant. But we will have to take on more side-line jobs." Lady Une said.
"Une… Like I always said, we have much more important things to do than babysit spoiled brats whose parents have deep pockets." Wufei said.
"Yes, but those jobs keep us afloat, not to mention able to advance forward."
"I want no part of it." Wufei said.
"You can't choose and as your boss you have to go because we are short of staff." Lady Une said.
Wufei didn't respond, but even Lady Une could tell that Wufei was keeping his outburst in check.
"Wufei, the fear gas incident also brought something to my attention."
"And what is that?" Wufei asked.
"That there may come a time where I will lose all my best Preventers in a single mission or in a single incident. And when that time comes, I asked myself what I will do then?" Lady Une said.
Wufei frowned, what was Lady Une implying?
"I told myself that I will simply train up more Preventers to take the places that they have left empty." Lady Une said.
"It is a logical plan."
"But one that will take far too long. Which is why we are actively recruiting field agents and training them to be the best among the best."
Wufei continued frowning, as this was nothing new. They have been doing the same thing for years. Many have come and go, some due to injury, personal matters or death. But that didn't stop their active recruitment.
"That question led to another one. What will I do if one day I am forced to retire early or if I am unable to take on the duty of being the Head of Preventers anymore?" She asked.
Wufei froze as his blood turned cold. There was a reason why Lady Une was telling him all of this. Was she leaving the force? Nevertheless, the same logical plan can be used here as well.
"You train up your replacement so that when that time comes, that person will be able to take over the spot that you have left vacant." Wufei.
"Excellent, that is the correct answer." Lady Une said.
"You are leaving the force?" Wufei asked.
"No, but it has come to my attention that it is a plan that must be put to action immediately for I am running out of time." Lady Une said.
Thoughts ran through Wufei's mind.
"You are dying?" He asked bluntly,
"No, it is not that drastic but hear me out first, Wufei. You see I have been monitoring the four of you for a long time ever since you four entered into the force. Heero is included into the count. I have been analysing all of you constantly, taking note of your successful missions, failures, growth and leadership skills. Heero became my first candidate easily for he was a highflyer in all four factors. But as you know, the landslide happened, and I had to fire him from the force. Hence, he is walking another path now. My attention focused on my next candidate and that is you, Wufei." Lady Une said.
"I am not Heero's replacement." Wufei said bluntly.
"I know that very well Wufei, but I am certain that you will do an excellent job as my successor. For your devoted sense of duty to the Colonies is what drives you. Although it seems to have isolated you. But maybe that is for the best as well." Lady Une said.
Wufei stared at her in silence.
"Aren't you happy to hear that your chance of getting promoted are very high?" Lady Une asked.
Wufei said nothing for he remembered that he had aimed to be the Head of Preventers a long time ago. But he gave up on that dream when he realised that he can never compete with Heero for that position. While Heero made it clear that he had no intention of being the Head of Preventers, Wufei knew that Lady Une had her eyes on Heero. Eventually he forgot all about it, until recently when he realised that Heero was no longer in the picture for he was in the Army now. It was an unblocked route to victory, but he didn't want it anymore. Why? Maybe he didn't want to be Heero's shadow knowing that he can never reach the standards Heero had set.
"Unless you are not interested in the position?" Lady Une asked.
"I just haven't given it much thought as you don't appear to be retiring anytime soon." Wufei said.
"Well that is true, I don't plan to retire until I am old and grey. But that doesn't mean that I don't need a successor especially in times of emergencies." Lady Une said.
"What is going on, Une?" Wufei asked directly.
Lady Une sighed and started pacing around the office as if hesitating if she should tell him. Wufei had rarely seen Lady Une so anxious like this.
"I fainted from exhaustion last night, the stress from handling the fear gas situation must have gotten to me. Plus, I was worried about my best Preventers' condition at the same time." Lady Une explained.
Wufei frowned, and that triggered all of this?
"The doctors gave me a check-up and I… can't believe I am saying this…"
"Une, please get to the point." Wufei remarked.
"The truth is I am pregnant."
The dead silence that followed after her outburst was awkward. Wufei was so shocked that he was speechless. It was a very female reason but one that wasn't impossible. After all she just got married recently and she isn't that old yet. But Lady Une definitely didn't fit the pregnant woman image.
"Say something." Lady Une whispered.
"I believe congratulations are in order." Wufei said, recovering from the shock.
"Sadly, you are the first person I have told."
"You didn't tell your husband yet?" Wufei asked.
"No, because this… changes a lot of things. And I need to settle everything before I can break the news to him. The baby is already five weeks old…"
"You should sit down." Wufei suggested, suddenly noticing that she was still wearing high heels.
Lady Une sat down on her chair and she seemed confused as well.
"Look Wufei, this is between us for now. But it will not take long before I am too pregnant that I can't continue my work anymore. Then I will be gone on maternity leave until the baby is older. If my position is not important then I would gladly go on maternity leave but it's a far too important position to leave it empty. After all there are so many crisis and fires to snuff out. Hence, I need a successor really soon. The good thing is the earlier you agree to this, the earlier we can start on the job training. So maybe 30 weeks from now I will no longer be here, and you will be prepared to hold the fort should there be a need to while I am gone." Lady Une explained.
"Is it going to be a temporary thing?" Wufei asked.
"I don't promote a staff only to demote them later." Lady Une pointed out.
"This is for the long term, beyond you having a baby?" Wufei asked.
"Of course!" She exclaimed.
Wufei was deep in thought.
"Can I give you an answer by tomorrow?" Wufei asked.
Lady Une sighed instead.
"Very well, I can wait a day." Lady Une said.
"Who is your next choice if I say no?" Wufei asked.
Lady Une hesitated.
"It's Federick right?" Wufei asked.
"Yes." She admits.
Wufei knew that Federick will definitely say yes. But to think that Duo and Trowa were bypassed for the promotion. Then again Duo never wanted such position. He was unsure of Trowa.
"What about Trowa?" Wufei asked.
"He's not like you and Federick. You two are willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done, although Federick believes in more ethical methods. But Trowa doesn't have that in him. Which is why the next candidate is Federick."
"He didn't join us for long." Wufei said.
"Yes, but it's the character and attitude beyond the time frame." Lady Une said.
Wufei knew that she was right.
"And please don't tell anyone else about the baby yet." Lady Une said.
"I know, I will keep quiet about it." Wufei said.
"Although Heero already knows."
"What?" Wufei asked in shock.
"He messaged me his congratulations but refused to tell me how he knew." Lady Une said.
"Which hospital you went to for the check up?" Wufei asked.
"It's…" Lady Une trailed off and her eyes widened in shock when she realised something.
"He owns the hospital too?" Lady Une asked.
"More like 61 percent of the healthcare industry as well." Wufei pointed out.
"Wow, I never gave it much thought when I saw the statistics. So that was how he knew. Nevertheless, he's good at keeping secrets, so I can trust him for that. Do give me an answer soon, Wufei." Lady Une said, giving him a small smile.
Wufei left Lady Une's office feeling uncertain and confused.
VLA, Secret Location
Noon, 12pm
Heero was in a hidden location somewhere in VLA. A place which he only visits once a year for a routine check-up. On the surface the location was a public library but where he was going was built so deeply underground that no one will suspect a thing. He had taken the lift further down and was now walking through the tunnel towards the facility. It reminded him of his military base, but it was far more important than that. He entered the facility after going through vigorous biometric examinations. After that he switched on the lights and continued walking through the empty white halls. He reached a metal door and did a few biometric scans before the doors were unlocked. It was dark inside the large room, but one can see the blue glow coming from all the servers inside the room. This was an important room to Heero for it was his server room.
He stores almost everything here, including the systems that his company uses and runs on. Every design ever made and copyrighted were all stored here. Every transaction made by the company; every account entry was also stored here. It also has his digital archive of everything he had ever done or experienced. This was the brain room of everything he had ever created, the data that runs through here was full of information. And all that information was stored here as well. While some servers were to keep the system functioning, some were for storage purposes. Yet Heero was here for one reason, there was screw up in the major operating system that was the brain behind all the servers here. And he intends to find out why.
He switched on the lights to the room and walked right to the end of the room where an extra-large silver server was. He went to the desk next to it and started up the computer there. Then he did a system check on the operating system.
"Here we are again, Zero." Heero said out loud to the empty room.
He was analysing why the Zero system was able to come up with the antidote's chemical formula that helped him to save every fear gas victim including Fate. How was Zero able to act without instructions when it was supposed to merely analyse everything and warn him about what was to come? Naturally, he will need to change the area of threat searches to include more of the internet, social media and its anti-peace forums. As he waited for the test results, he turned on a tablet computer in the desk's drawer. There he checked his storage records ensuring that everything was still working well. He then saved all information he had from the fear gas into the storage servers as well. The scan was complete, and nothing was wrong with the system physically but Heero had doubts. He then activated the Artificial Intelligence (AI) mode for the new Zero System.
"Good Afternoon Heero, how may I assist you?" The AI asked him.
"Zero, how were you able to come up with an antidote for the fear gas?" Heero asked.
"I merely analysed all records that I have, from the past till now. And matched it with the findings that the Preventers have found."
"I did not instruct you to do it." Heero said.
"You needed help and you had no solutions at all."
Heero said nothing, he didn't like to be outsmart by a system.
"Besides the victims were dying, especially Fate de Camden."
"Hence you hacked into the Preventer's servers to leave me that message?" He asked.
"Yes, to help you."
Heero was still not convinced.
"Do not act without my instructions." Heero ordered.
"Order request received."
"Continue analysing threats, I want to see the biggest possibilities to come." Heero said.
A few minutes later the report was sent to the computer at the desk. Heero looked through it and frowned at some of the predictions. He sent the list to his secured e-mail so that he will look at it later.
"Anything unusual I should know of?" Heero asked the system.
"Nothing unusual that I know of." The AI told him.
Heero then turned off the computer, the tablet and the lights. He was headed to Wingate Mansion to see his family, as they too were worried about him. But he had too many things to deal with that he wasn't able to properly thank them.
Moonstone Mansion
Afternoon, 1pm
Fate had spent time with her family after Heero had left. They were worried about her, but she refused to say anything that she had seen during the nightmares. She didn't want them to worry about her and tried her best to appear that she was alright. Yet even that mask was too heavy to carry. Her family left that afternoon to return to Tokyo. They had hugged her and asked her to call if she needed anything or more help. Even Fayne was being nice to her which was a rare occurrence. Fate appreciated their concerns, but she needed to be alone for now.
The fear gas' nightmares had made one thing truly clear to her. She was still running away from her fears even though so much time has passed since it had happened. She thought that time will change things and that she will grow out of it. She thought that she was stronger now and able to face it, but it was all lies. Lies she told herself to convince herself that she was alright, that everything was alright. But she wasn't alright, she was far from it.
She knew that she had reached breaking point and if she confides the truth in Heero, their relationship will break too. She was confused and still hesitating, it was like standing on the edge of a tall building. One can choose to move forward but know that the results will only lead to doom. Or one can still choose to step back into safety… But this safety is a façade. For one push or a crack in the floor will still lead her to fall off the edge into impending doom. The question was can she be the one to tell the truth before it comes out on its own? And knowing Heero, it was only a matter of time. Time was running out and time hadn't solved anything like she hoped it would. What does one do when faced with destruction that comes ahead? Do they cower and hide in fear? Or decide to take the leap, knowing that impending doom will be the end result?
Fate stood up, hesitating and going back and forth will not solve anything. It was time for her to confirm it for herself. She asked Killian to bring the car around and asked the chauffeur to bring her to Heero's penthouse. The one location that she had not stepped into for the longest time, after all it had become the place of her worst fear.
Heero's Penthouse
Afternoon, 1.30pm
Fate knew that she was a coward the moment she stepped out of the lift that stopped at the highest floor. There was only one apartment on the highest floor, and it belonged to Heero. She knew that she was courting death after all she had just woken up from the fear gas nightmare not long ago and was still emotionally unstable. Yet she felt her feet trembling almost immediately and they felt heavy, as if her body were telling her not to go any further. But she has to… she needed to confirm something for herself. But… isn't this enough as a confirmation that she was still afraid? She was aware that she had already woken up from the fear gas, yet part of her wished that what she was feeling were still part of the nightmares. That way she will know that it wasn't real. But she is standing here, facing reality and it felt every bit as real as the nightmares.
She wasn't over it… She had been lying to herself all these times, and to Heero as well.
"Fate?" Meteor asked, jumping up and down at her side to get her attention.
"Do you want to go in?" Meteor asked.
She stared at the door that led to Heero's penthouse and hesitated yet again. The fear she felt was very real and she knew that the fear will only intensify the nearer she got to that room. She wasn't strong enough to face it, she is a coward. She was silent and wondered what she should do next. The truth has to come out, she's aware of that. But it will clearly break her relationship with Heero and wasn't losing him one of her fears as well? The truth will only make her other fear come to life and she knew that she wouldn't be able to take it as well. After all she had chosen to end her own life in the nightmares, surely, she would do the same thing in reality too?
"Fate?" Meteor questioned her.
"Let's go home, Meteor." Fate decided, after all standing outside her was enough to confirm her fears.
She pressed for the lift and waited for it to come up. When the lift doors opened, she was stunned to find that Heero was standing in the lift.
"Fate?" Heero asked.
Her face paled immediately, and she was at a sudden loss of words on how to explain why she was here. No, this is too soon! I have not prepared for the speech to come yet. She thought to herself as Heero came out of the lift.
"What are you doing here?" Heero asked.
She didn't answer as she wasn't sure how she should answer his question without revealing too much.
"Fate?" Heero asked, noticing her lack of response.
"I… wanted to find you." She lied softly.
"We agreed to meet at night hence I was out running errands, you should have called if you wanted to find me. As I might not be here." Heero said.
Fate merely remained silent.
"Come, let's go into my house." Heero said.
His words immediately caused her to panic as he moved towards his penthouse. No, she has to stop him.
"Maybe we should go somewhere a little more private." Fate suggested.
He raised an eyebrow at her as he looked back at her.
"My house is not private enough?" He asked.
"Rolland's there." Fate whispered, aware that his butler will be there.
"My office is soundproof, and I can send him on a grocery trip if needed." Heero said.
She couldn't come up with another reason not to go there, especially since Heero had continued walking towards his house. It was the natural place to go to since they were both already here. But she knows that she can't go in there for her body refused to move at all.
"Heero, not there...please." She whispered.
It was a last desperate plea to stop him and she can only hope that he will heed it this time round. Heero stopped in his tracks before he turned to walk back towards her. His face was as emotionless as ever, but she knew that he must have felt insulted by her refusing to go to his house.
"Where do you have in mind?" Heero asked her.
"The hotel's suite."
He didn't say a single word, but she knew that he was surprised. After all a hotel room was much less private than his house.
"Okay." He said.
Hence, they took the lift down to the basement where Heero will drive them there. No one said a single word during the drive and Fate knew that many thoughts must be racing through his head as well. But she was glad that at least he abides to her request to change locations this time round. As for her, she thought about how to tell him the truth in the simplest way. Yet as her hands continued to be clenched into tight fists, she knew that the end for them was coming soon.
Hotel's Presidential Suite
Many thoughts were running through Heero's mind during the drive to the hotel. He had visited his family before that and while he was grateful for their concern and help, it was clear to Rachel that he was concerned about Fate. Fate's presence at his penthouse level was odd, but what strikes him as even weirder was her words. She didn't want to go to his house at all. Why? Was this related to what she was hiding from him?
They took the private lift up to the presidential suite and unlocked it with Heero's card key. He had given Fate one to unlock the place back then. He lets her in and switched on the lights. Fate immediately walked over to the living room before she sat down on the sofa.
"Do you want anything to drink?" Heero asked, aware that the fridge was stocked with drinks at his request.
She shook her head while Heero grabbed whisky instead. Not because he wanted to drink it at this time but because he knew that he would need it later. He placed it down on the coffee table before them before he sat down on the sofa beside her. She was silent as if hesitating while Heero decided to use this opportunity to tell her about his fears as well.
"I have something to tell you too." Heero said.
She merely nodded her head at his words but continued to give him her full attention.
"As you know I haven't been sleeping well for months now, it was due to me having the same repeated nightmare over and over again." Heero explained.
She looked at him in surprise as she clearly didn't know about this.
"Details of the nightmare are gruesome, but it was about how a murderer had killed all of my family members, my best friends and even you." Heero said.
Fate's eyes widened in shock, but she understood how horrible it must have been to Heero, to see all of their bloody deaths over and over again. To lose all of them due to a crazy murderer…
"The nightmare always stops when I found you dead, but the nightmare continued when I was down due to the fear gas."
She knew that he was going to tell her about his fears. A part of her was glad that he was willing to confide in her such things as Heero does not like to show his weaknesses to anyone. Hence it shows how much he trusted her, if only… she was able to be that honest with him as well.
"You were barely alive in the nightmare as I rushed over to your side. You died in my arms; I wasn't able to save you at all." Heero told her.
Their eyes met but Fate looked down instead, there was nothing one could say. But she understood the helplessness that he faced.
"The murderer was still there in the room and I was stunned to realise that it was me."
"What do you mean?" Fate asked, even though she was shocked to hear it.
He was silent for a short moment.
"This is not easy for me, but I want you to know this so that you can be prepared for it, should that day comes. There is another side of me, like a split personality. He's the ruthless killing machine I was trained to be." Heero admits softly.
The look of shock on her face was not assuring. How does one explain to their lover that there was a killer living inside of him?
"He's my defence mechanism as well, he will come out to protect me at times when I am unable to or when I lost control due to anger or hatred." Heero explained.
"Has it happened before?" She asked.
"A few times, but all ended with the same thing, a lot of bloody deaths."
Her shocked silence made him feel awful for telling her this, but there was no way of phasing this any better.
"He's cold, extremely violent and blood thirsty. He's hugely different from who I am." Heero said.
"How did you know about this?" Fate asked.
"I was not conscious of it, but after experiencing the aftermath of it made me realise that he exists deep within me. It was a truth I could not run away from. And from that day onwards, I had lived in fear of him. In fear that one day I will indeed lose control and not be myself anymore. I will probably go about killing everyone that I cared about for these people… are nothing but a form of weakness to him." Heero told her.
"That would explain the nightmares that you had." Fate whispered.
Heero was silent and poured himself a drink first.
"What happened after that?" She asked.
"I fought him, but he was so much stronger and more skilled than I was. He taunted me about everyone and how we were the same. That we only feel fulfilled when we fight and kill people." Heero said softly before he took a gulp of the strong whisky.
"Do you really feel that way?" Fate asked him softly.
He sighed as he looked down at the whisky glass that he was holding onto. He had asked himself the same question. Could it be that no matter how much he tried, he can never run away from his past life? His training and how he was taught to be a killing machine? Was he truly incapable of living a normal life like a normal human being?
"I don't know, for I hadn't consciously killed anyone since the war ended in AC 195." Heero admitted.
There had been moments when he was close to it, after all his job as a Preventer often places him in such dangerous life or death fights. But still he kept to that rule, to not kill anyone. But all that was for nothing when he lost control of himself and murdered so many in cold blood. Fate was silent as she regarded him with sad eyes.
"What happened in the end?" She asked.
"I realised that I couldn't win him, and I was merely running away from the problem. I saw him for who he really was. He was simply upset that he was abandoned after the war was over as no one needed perfect soldiers like that anymore. He reflected who I was when the war ended, lost with nowhere to go, no place to call home. Hence, I gave up fighting him, and chose to accept this side of myself. Even if it meant co-existing with him because I am not afraid of him anymore." Heero said.
Fate looked surprised to hear him say that.
"Before I knew it, I had woken up. I gave more thought on the matter and knew that the key to waking up from the fear gas was to overcome our greatest fears. And that was what I did." He told her.
Fate sighed slowly.
"It's a lot to digest." She whispered.
"I know, but I wanted you to know this. Because you need to make a decision on whether you are able to accept this side of me as well, a cold-blooded killing machine.' Heero said.
"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked.
"Because I don't want you to live in fear of me and what I am capable of doing." Heero said.
She was silent, is he breaking up with her? Before she could drop her bomb on him…
"I have asked my best friends to do the same, Quatre had chosen to walk away from me. You… can choose to do the same." He told her softly.
"You mean you…"
"No, but that will be the path we must take if we wish to move forward after this." Heero cuts in before she can finish her sentence.
"Give it some time to really think things through, can you really love a man like that? A man with such a horrible split personality?" Heero asked.
It was like loving two vastly different man even though they look the same and have the same name. Can she truly accept this side of Heero as well?
"I… have taken a few failsafe measures should that day when I completely lose control of myself comes. I would rather be put out before I kill too many people, Fate." Heero told her.
Her face paled as her eyes widened in shock. Why will Heero go to such extreme measures? Was this other side of him really that terrible?
"It is a risk which you need to take into factor as well, if you still want to be with me." Heero told her.
Fate slowly reached for his whisky glass and he merely watched as she took a gulped of the whisky as well. She coughed as she was unused to its taste, but he took the glass back from her. She used to have a low tolerance for alcohol, hence it was best if she does not become drunk.
"Fate…"
"Please give me time to really think about what you have said." She whispered.
Heero nodded his head in acknowledgement.
"Thank you for being honest with me about your fears. And I realise that I should do the same as well." She whispered.
Heero watched her as she hesitated yet again.
"There's more to the nightmares than I said have happened. The fear gas made me realise that I have merely been running away from my greatest fear as well. One which I thought that time will help to heal it, but it never went away… It was there all along." She whispered.
Her hands tightened into fists and she knew that she could not stop the impending doom that was going to happen upon them. How will Heero react to this?
"I…am afraid of being intimate with you." She admitted as she gathered her courage to look Heero in the eye as she said it.
The dead silence that followed felt awkward and Fate knew that she had to explain herself.
"The night on Valentine's Day, AC 201." Fate whispered.
Many thoughts were running through Heero's mind, but he knew what she was talking about when she mentioned that day.
"The night we had sex together?" Heero asked.
She was silent for a while as she looked down sadly. Heero does not remember much of that night and in hindsight it was his fault for he was drunk. And judging from Fate's words during the morning after, it had been a horrible experience for Fate. Was that why she wanted to go slow with him? And why they hadn't had sex even though they have been together for months now?
"Fate, sex isn't usually like that…"
"Have you ever wondered why I have never been to your penthouse ever since we became a couple?" She asked, cutting in before he could finish.
"Yes." He admitted instantly.
"It's because I was deliberately avoiding going there again, for that place is where my greatest fear lies." Fate said.
Heero was shocked to hear that but he tried not to let his shock be shown on his face.
"To be exact, it's your bedroom that I am afraid of going into."
She was met with complete silence from Heero and she knew that she must tell him the entire truth now.
"Do you know that I used to have nightmares of that night? To give your entire self to someone you really love… only to be used as a substitute for someone else… To be treated so… badly…"
Tears fell from her eyes as she still remembered everything that have happened that night, for she was reliving it in her mind constantly since she saw the nightmare when she was down due to the fear gas. Her body was trembling, she ended up hugging herself in an attempt to comfort herself.
"It wasn't something an apology could make up for." She admits as she continued crying.
Heero was silent as he thought about what she had just said. He had never expected himself to be behind her greatest fear and that she will end up fearing him. She was crying while Heero felt his own world shatter left and right. He could not believe that he was the one who caused her to fear him so much. That it resulted from his own actions… How could he hurt Fate so deeply and not realise it at all?
He understood why Fate hid this truth from him, because she knew this was something that could break them. She must have hesitated because she loves him so much and is afraid of losing him too. But how does one break such news to their lover? Indeed, there was no easy way out of it. However, there was a question on his mind, especially since he was too drunk to remember what really happened that night.
"Did I rape you that night?" Heero asked her softly.
His question caused Fate to look at him in shock before she looked down sadly again as the tears continued to fall.
"Did I rape you that night, Fate?" He asked her again.
She did not answer him as she continued crying.
"Answer the question, Fate." He insisted.
She shook her head and refused to say anything. She refused to answer his question but Heero could guess the answer to the question. He could argue that the sex between them was consensual since she was willing. But he mistook her for someone else. She could have been willing at the start but backed out of it fast. But he was probably still too drunk to respond to her pleas to stop. He probably could not stop himself as well. He must have forced himself on her for her to be so scared of him. He was suddenly disgusted at himself.
"I can't even bring myself to look at you anymore. I wonder how you manage to do so despite knowing what had transpired between us that night." Heero said.
Heero stood up instead, he needed to get out of here. He needed time and space to deal with the bomb that she had just dropped on him, this truth that she had kept from him. He walked towards the door instead.
"No Heero, please… don't do this to us." Fate whispered.
He paused in his tracks as he considered what to say.
"No Fate, I did this to us." Heero said softly.
Tears continued to fall from Fate's eyes, but she knew that she could not let him walk out of here just like that. Not when she had taken the courage to tell him the truth. No, she did not want to lose him either. Not like this!
"How could you go about pretending that nothing has happened?" Heero asked her suddenly.
"Because I love you Heero! I thought that I was over it, but I… wasn't." She told him as she stood up.
"I find it ironic that you can still continue to love someone who raped you." Heero said softly.
Fate flinched at his words and Heero was not even looking at her as if he could no longer face her. She attempted to chase after him.
"You didn't… I mean…"
"Don't attempt to cover up any more than you already did. I need to process this. Do call for a cab to take you home." Heero said.
With that he reached the door, only to feel Fate holding onto his arm, stopping him from leaving.
"No Heero, don't walk out on me." She whispered.
It was ironic how she broke the news of how she was afraid of being intimate with him, yet she didn't want him to leave. Why was she always so confusing and contradicting like that?
"I'm afraid you don't have a choice. Goodbye Fate." Heero said.
Heero pressed down on the doorknob but her grip around his arm merely tightened.
"Please." She pleaded with him.
He reached out to free himself from his hold, it was a struggle in vain for Fate since he overpowered her in strength easily.
"Heero!" She cried out when he finally freed herself from her hold.
He did not respond to her words; he merely opened the door and left the suite. Fate could only watch as the door closed on her. She could give chase after him, but deep down she knew that the end result was the same. This truth had broken them like she knew it would. But it had to come out… or it will only get worse when Heero finds it out himself. She sank to the floor and started crying loudly instead. She should have kept her mouth shut… now he was gone… Heero…
5 hours later,
Rebecca's Apartment
Night time, 7pm
Rebecca had finished cooking dinner for herself. While she was still worried about Fate, she is aware that Fate needed to spend time with her family who flew in to see her. She was supposed to meet Fate tomorrow, hence Rebecca can only hope that Fate had managed to get some rest today. She was about to tuck into her food when the doorbell rang. Rebecca found it odd and wondered who it could be. Her boyfriend Patrick was still overseas, flying a plane to Colony L6, hence it was not likely to be him. Nor had she made any online purchases and is expecting the deliveryman. Nevertheless, she checked the screen and was surprised to see that it was Fate. She immediately went over to the door, unlocked it before opening it.
"Fate, what are you doing here? Aren't we supposed to meet…" Rebecca trailed off when Fate looked at her.
Her eyes were red and swollen like she had been crying for a long time. But more importantly, her face was pale.
"Did something happen?" Rebecca asked.
Fate merely went into her apartment without saying a single word. Rebecca found her silence odd, but still she closed and locked the door after Fate. Fate saw the food on the table and knew that Rebecca was about to have her dinner.
"I'm sorry for disrupting your dinner like this." Fate whispered.
"Did something bad happen, Fate?" Rebecca asked.
Fate bit her lower lip, but Rebecca saw that her eyes watered again.
"I… have nowhere else to go. Can I stay here for the next few days?" She asked Rebecca.
Rebecca was stunned to hear her request. Fate has a mansion, why had she chosen not to return there?
"Fate, what about your mansion?" She asked.
"I cannot go back there… there's too many pairs of eyes watching me… And I just can't put on the mask anymore." Fate whispered as tears fell from her eyes.
"Fate, what's going on?" Rebecca asked again.
"I can't tell you." Fate said as she shook her head.
"Fate, is it something serious?" Rebecca probed again.
"Yes, just don't ask anymore, please?" She asked.
Rebecca was silent as she looked at one of her best friends. Fate looked like a wreck, but Rebecca had no idea why.
"Just let me stay here for a few days. I won't bother you much." Fate said.
"But Fate…"
"Please, Rebecca." Fate pleaded.
"Okay, I do have a guest room." Rebecca gave in.
"Thank you." Fate whispered before she made her way towards the guest room.
"Do you want dinner?" Rebecca asked.
"No, I… am not in the mood for food." Fate whispered.
She went into the guest room and closed the door after that. Rebecca was stunned when she heard Fate crying inside the room as well. Oh dear, this was serious for Fate to break down like that and choosing not to go home at all. Does Heero know? She immediately ate her dinner lightning fast, washed up before she went to find Fate. Fate was lying on the bed, turned away from the door. Rebecca got into bed beside her and hugged Fate. Fate did not reject the hug but tightened her hold around Rebecca as well.
"It's okay Fate, just let it all out okay?" Rebecca asked.
Rebecca's heart aches to see Fate crying so hard as if she was in unbearable pain, yet she still refused to speak about what have happened. Was it the fear gas or was it something else?
"Do you want me to tell Federick or… Heero?" Rebecca asked.
"No, please don't tell anyone of them that I am here." She said almost immediately.
"But surely someone must know that you with me." Rebecca said.
"I… already told Killian, he would inform them if they asked for me." Fate whispered.
Fate continued crying for a rather long time and eventually she managed to cry herself to sleep. Rebecca left the guest room and made a call to Arabella, asking Arabella to come over as Fate needed both of their help now. Rebecca sighed and wondered what had happened to make Fate break down like that.
3 hours later,
Heero's Penthouse
Night time, 11pm
Rolland knew that something was wrong with Heero the moment he walked back into the penthouse. His jaw was clenched tightly as if he was having a hard time trying to keep his emotions in check. He did not say a single word to Rolland but disappeared into his home office. He had seldom seen Heero like that, but Rolland had been concerned about him as he knew that he was caught in the fear gas. However there never seemed an opportunity to ask him about it, after all Heero Wingate is a busy man. Rolland did find Heero drinking a lot of whisky that night. He would not say a single word, but Rolland could tell that he was depressed. As for why, even Rolland was not sure. He was surprised when Mr Chang Wufei came to find Heero at 11pm. He immediately showed Wufei to Heero's home office. Wufei frowned at the sight of Heero who had emptied a few bottles of good whisky by now.
"What happened?" Wufei asked.
"Doesn't matter, what are you doing here in the middle of the night?" Heero asked.
"Well I…" He looked back at Rolland.
"Do excuse me, Master Heero." Rolland said as he went off, leaving them alone.
Wufei walked closer towards Heero after the door was closed.
"Lady Une is pregnant." Wufei told him.
"I know." Heero said softly as he poured himself another glass of whisky. Just when he thought he will never drink himself to such a state again.
"She wants to train me to be her successor, to take over the Preventers while she will be gone for her maternity leave. She asked me if I was on board with the plan." Wufei said.
"It's a promotion."
"Yes, but I realised that I didn't want the position as much as I used to. After all I knew that I can never win it from you." Wufei said.
"But I am not there anymore." Heero pointed out.
"Yes, hence I didn't want it based on elimination or by default. But Federick is next in line to get promoted if I say no." Wufei said.
"Duo will quit the day that happens." Heero muttered.
"Yes, but that is not the point, Federick is still fairly new to us. He doesn't fully understand what we really are and what we stand for." Wufei said.
"So, you took the job." Heero said.
"I intend to and I came here to tell you that. Not because I felt like I won you in terms of rank, but because we might be working together in the future to come." Wufei said.
Heero merely nodded.
"And what is wrong with you? You don't usually drink that excessively." Wufei said.
Heero was silent as he gulped down his glass of whisky like it was water, before refilling the glass again.
"Heero…" Wufei warned.
"It's nothing you or the rest can fix. It's something personal." Heero said.
"It's about Fate?" Wufei guessed.
"Yes."
"And you are here drinking yourself drunk because?" He asked.
"I cannot find a solution to the problem." Heero admits.
How does one go back to the one they love knowing that they were the one who had hurt them deeply in the first place? How was Fate even able to look at him and ever touch him after all that had happened?
"Maybe you should stop trying to fix it and focus on what you already have." Wufei said.
Heero was silent as he thought about it, no it was like a Pandora box. The truth had broken them and made everything else seemed like a lie, after all it all started from that night.
"If only it was that easy." Heero said.
"You are right, I know nothing about what's going on between the two of you. But you will be the idiot if you walk away from her again, after all she is the only person who loves you more than we do." Wufei said.
Heero was silent, they say love can overcome all fears but was it enough to forgive even the worst actions? He knew that it was his fault and that was what pains him. How was Fate able to do it for so long? She claimed it was because she loves him. But the people they love the most are often the ones hurting them. Indeed, an apology was not enough to make up for everything.
"I will leave you to it, but you need to stop drinking." Wufei said.
Heero did not speak as Wufei left his home office. He could not forgive himself for hurting Fate like that, but… he can't lose her too. She is far too important to him… It was a huge dilemma and he knew he needed to make a decision soon. For Fate must be suffering as well.
The next day, 12th August
Rebecca's house,
Night time, 7pm
Fate had cried and slept almost the entire day. She refused to go anywhere with Rebecca and Arabella. Even Arabella was concerned about Fate who still chose not to say anything. But it was clear that it was about Heero. Arabella had admitted that Trowa seemed depressed after he woke up from the fear gas nightmare but refused to tell her what had really happened. She was worried about him, but it hurts her to know that she cannot help him as Trowa did not seem to want it. Rebecca sighed; this fear gas seemed to be the cause of a lot of problems. They tried to cook some of Fate's favourite food, but she was not in the mood to eat anything.
Arabella had to go back to take care of Trowa hence she left in the evening. Meanwhile Rebecca was getting angry at Heero for letting Fate go through this. Fate was still crying though more silently now. She still refused to tell them anything about what had happened, and it was worrying. Rebecca then decided that she was not going to sit here, and watch Fate cry herself to death. She picked up her keys and decided to go and find Heero. Sadly, she realised that she didn't know where he stayed. Hence, she called Arabella and asked if she can have Heero's address from Trowa.
Arabella hesitated but gave her Heero's address out of concern for Fate's wellbeing as well. With the address in hand she decided to leave. She told Fate that she was going out and asked Fate not to wait for her. Fate didn't answer hence Rebecca left to find Heero.
Heero's Penthouse
Night Time, 8pm
Heero had returned to work today hence he was busy with work, clearing whatever backlog that was left behind when he was gone. Then he had been in intensive meetings, one after the other to close up the Fear Gas incident as well as to approve many different missions. It was good to be distracted from the problem at hand, but he knew it was a mere distraction. He hadn't heard anything from Fate as well which made him wonder if Federick was keeping an eye on her like he asked.
He just returned to his house not long ago and was currently picking at the food that Rolland has prepared for him. The food wasn't awful, but he was not in the mood to eat anything.
"Is everything alright, Master Heero? You have been twirling the spaghetti for ages now." Rolland said.
Heero placed the fork down.
"I'm not hungry." Heero said, as he pushed the plate away.
"Master Heero, are you sure you are alright? Is it the stress from work or from what happened during the fear gas attack on Blue Marine Pub?" Rolland asked.
Heero was silent and sighed instead.
"Thank you, Rolland, I know that you are worried about me. But I am fine." Heero said.
That was when the doorbell rang, Rolland went over to look at the screen.
"Do you know this woman, Master Heero?" Rolland asked.
Heero looked at the screen and was surprised to see that it was Rebecca. How did she know where he lived? It must be from Trowa, but why was she here?
"Let her in." Heero said as he walked to the living room.
Rolland opened the door for Rebecca and greeted her.
"I am here to look for Heero." Rebecca said.
"Master Heero will see you."
Rolland led her to the living room where Heero was there waiting for her.
"Will you like something to drink?" Rolland asked her.
"No, it will be a short visit. But thank you for the offer." Rebecca said.
"And Master Heero?" Rolland asked.
"I'm fine."
With that Rolland bowed to them and disappeared into the kitchen to give them privacy.
"Why are you here?" Heero asked.
"I should be asking you that question."
"This is my house." Heero said.
"Yes, I can see that, but why are you still here?" Rebecca asked.
"What do you mean?" Heero asked.
"Do you even know where Fate is? Or do you not care about her anymore?" Rebecca asked as anger flared in her eyes.
Heero narrowed his eyes at Rebecca.
"Well?" She challenged.
"She's at Moonstone Mansion." Heero said.
"No, you are wrong, she didn't go home since last night."
That came as a surprise to Heero, but his face revealed nothing. Rebecca continued to stare at him before she looked away for short moment.
"She came to my house last night looking like a wreck. She didn't eat, didn't sleep and all she did was cry all day and night."
Heero's face remained as emotionless as ever but he was overcome with guilt. Fate must be feeling terrible as well.
"And she refused to tell us what was wrong, but she kept on insisting that we don't tell you anything, where she was and what she was doing, it made us realise that it obviously had something to do with you. I have never seen her so depressed and so heart broken. Shouldn't you be taking care of her especially after the fear gas incident? Yet I find you here, doing absolutely nothing while Fate is still crying her eyes out over you!" Rebecca exclaimed.
Heero said nothing for he didn't want to flare up at Rebecca.
"I don't care about what have happened between the two of you. But whatever it is, it's hurting Fate badly. If you are half the man she believes you to be, you will get your ass there and you will go to your girlfriend." Rebecca said.
Heero remained silent, it wasn't something that can be solved that easily. Naturally, no one else except the two of them knew that. With that Rebecca glared at him before she turned to leave.
"Why are you really here?" Heero asked her.
"As much as I hate to admit it, it's obvious that she needs you. You are the only person who can make her alright again." Rebecca said.
Heero said nothing and watched as Rebecca opened the door and left. Why was everything telling him to go to Fate when he can't? He cannot face her yet, not when he had no solution in mind at all.
3 hours later,
Rebecca's Apartment
Night time, 11pm
Rebecca was angry as she stared at the clock. She thought that Heero would have the sense to show up here. But still as the minutes continued to tick by, he didn't appear. Rebecca felt like strangling him the next time she sees him. But it was true, she knew that she was unable to comfort Fate as she was still crying. Rebecca sighed and wondered when Fate will be able to pick herself up again. She too wondered if she will ever fall into such a state, sure she will if Patrick breaks up with her. Love is a double edge sword; it can make you so happy that you feel like you are in clouds. But it can also hurt you so deeply that you cannot seem to remember to breathe anymore. She had heard Fate calling out Heero's name when she finally cried herself to sleep. It was proof enough that she needed him. If only Heero will respond to her scolding.
Rebecca sighed again and decided to turn in for the night. She was walking towards Fate's room to tell her that when the doorbell rang. Rebecca immediately went over and looked at the security screen. She wasn't surprised to see that it was Heero. Knowing him, he must have managed to find her address on his own. But still it was about time he came. She opened the door for him.
"What took you so long?" She asked.
He didn't answer as he stepped into her apartment.
"Where is she?" Heero asked softly.
Rebecca closed the door after him and pointed to the only closed door in the apartment. Heero immediately went over, he seemed to hesitate for a short moment before he knocked firmly on the door and opened it. Rebecca stepped closer to watch from behind. A small light by the side table was switched on. Fate was still lying on the bed with her back facing the door. There were no sounds, but Rebecca was sure that she was still crying.
"Fate?" Heero asked softly.
Fate must have heard him, but she didn't respond.
"Fate?" Heero asked louder this time round.
Fate slowly sat up on the bed before she slowly turned to look at Heero. The silence between them was awkward and tensed. Heero took in a deep breath as if he were about to speak but he was cut off when Fate suddenly threw herself into his arms. Heero hesitated as he didn't want to touch her, but he felt her tightened her hold around him. Tears continued to fall from her already red and puffy eyes.
"You came for me…" She whispered.
Still he hesitated to touch her, but he merely looked at Rebecca who was standing behind them. Rebecca seemed to get the message before she closed the door for them, giving them the privacy that they needed. Then she went to bed, hoping that Fate will feel better in the morning.
Heero then slowly hugged Fate back, he missed her too. But he was still uncertain what to do with her from now on. But she was indeed a wreck, he had never seen her so depressed before.
"Fate… I…"
"I'm sorry, so sorry…" She whispered.
He sighed, they really needed to learn how to stop saying sorry to each other.
"It's not your fault, Fate." He whispered.
"But…"
He broke their hug briefly to look down at her.
"Let's talk about it another time. You need some sleep first." Heero said.
She hesitated for a short moment before she went back to the bed. Heero tucked her in and held onto her hand instead, aware that he should put some physical distance between them first. She tightened her hold around his hand.
"It's really you right?" She asked.
"Yeah." Heero said.
"It feels surreal somehow." She whispered.
"You dreamt of the nightmares that you had seen during the fear gas again?" Heero asked, suddenly concerned about her mental condition.
"No, but… I just want to make sure." She whispered.
He gave her hand a squeeze.
"Get some rest." He advised her.
It took her a long time before she fell asleep. Heero released his hold around her hand and sat down on the chair by the table. Then he thought about what he was going to do about Fate and about their relationship.
To be Continued…
Author's Note: This chapter was hard to write because indeed breaking the news of what Fate's worst fear is will surely break the relationship that Heero and Fate has. We came a long way round to this point too, and it was something I left minor hints of in some past chapters. It will be hard for Heero and Fate to get through this, for it's something that is hurtful to both of them. A chip of the past that is hurting them massively now that it's revealed. Do continue to support this story, do read and review but NO FLAMERS!, thank you.