Big hugs go to Hadley! and Mich! and Kimberly!

Thanks for reading. Hopefully, it's been just as much of an escape for you during this time as it has been for me.

See you ohhhh so verrrry sooooon. *heart emoji* *winking emoji* *eggplant emoji?*

Edward POV:

My phone vibrates on the wood floor, waking me up.

I blink my eyes open and pick it up, staring at the screen before sending the call to voicemail. Then I roll back over to face Bella.

She's still sleeping.

There wasn't any point during the night when our bodies weren't connected somehow. My arm draped over her stomach. My front pressed closely to her back. Her legs tangled with mine, the sheets around us a wreck.

But this morning, she's on the very edge of the mattress, facing away from me.

I don't like it.

I scoot closer to her, trailing my fingers over her arm. I trace the small birthmark on her shoulder, then press my lips to it.

She doesn't wake up.

I'm pretty fucking sure she's late for work—she never stays with me this long in the mornings. Unless she's going in later, like she did yesterday.

"Bella," I whisper.

She doesn't budge.

I think about going to get us coffee, but I don't want her to wake up alone.

Not after last night.

Not after she gave herself so fully to me and I took it all. Like the greedy fucking bastard I am. I took everything she was willing to give. And maybe I should feel shitty or guilty but I just can't.

Not after last night felt so fucking right.

"Bella," I try again. "It's, like, after eight."

She stirs a little, and then she scrambles out of bed.

I wasn't expecting that.

"Shit," she blurts. "I forgot to set an alarm."

"I'm sure Esme will understand."

She's glancing around the floor for her clothes, and I'm just watching her, staring at her body, the curve of her hips, the swell of her breasts. I'm unfazed by her panic—it's pretty amusing to watch. Maybe even slightly fucking arousing. Mostly because she's still naked.

"Yeah, she'll understand, but…" She finds her dress and steps into it, sliding the straps over her sexy shoulders. And then she disappears into the bathroom. I hear the toilet flush, the faucet running. Then she's walking back out to me, looking a little sheepish.

"What's wrong?" I ask, sitting up against my pillow.

"I wasn't trying to run out on you," she says carefully. "Bolting out of bed… just…"

"It's okay." And it is. "I know you gotta go."

I watch her for a second. She looks caught up in her head. Nervous, maybe? For a split fucking second, I think she's maybe regretting being with me, but then she speaks.

"Last night was perfect, Edward. Seriously."

"I thought so, too."

I tug on her arm until she's climbing back into bed and straddling me.

"So I'll see you later?" I murmur, running my hands up and down her back.

She smirks. "You will definitely see me later."

"Before the show?" I confirm.

"Mmhmm."

"Okay. There's something I wanna talk to you about."

"Oh." Her face falls, but she recovers quickly. "Okay. We can talk."

I need to tell her I'm Masen. And I'm going to. I just need to get my head straight first, and figure out what I'm gonna say. How I'm gonna say it.

There's a small part of me that's convinced she won't even be that mad. And then the other half is pretty certain she's gonna kick my ass. Either way, she's definitely going to think I'm a fucking idiot. And I can't disagree with that.

But still.

I need to tell her. More than that... I want to.

I've let her in. She's seen and heard all the worst things about me. And she didn't run.

She makes me feel seen. Understood. She makes me feel worthy of shit I never knew I wanted, like love and a real relationship and just... I feel a little less broken each time I'm with her. And I don't know how she does it. Or why. But part of me thinks that maybe she feels as fucking deeply for me as I do her.

And it's scary.

But I wanna be scared.

Because for so long I had nothing. It's a nice feeling to have something to lose.

I bring a hand up to her face, brushing her cheek. "I loved being with you last night."

Her cheeks turn slightly pink. "Me too." She leans in, chest flush with mine as she kisses me. I cup her face, deepening our kiss, and things start to get a little heated when I feel myself growing hard against her.

"I gotta go," she laughs into my mouth, but she's not trying very hard to get away.

I trace her nipple through her dress. "You can go."

"You're the worst," she accuses through a lazy smile.

"Can you blame me? Now that I've had you, I'm always gonna want you."

"Always?" she asks quietly, fingers trailing over my lips.

I let my gentle smile stretch across her fingertips. "Yeah."

"Promise?"

"Bella…" Like she doesn't already know. "Always."

We're fast this time.

I take off her dress and go down on her before flipping her over, so she's flush with the mattress. I'm frantic to roll on the condom before licking her from behind once more. My entire front is pressed against her back, and I slip a hand between us, gripping my dick as I slowly push into her. I groan out. She moans. I press open-mouthed kisses to her shoulder, her neck.

We're quieter than last night. Shallow breaths from my throat. Tiny gasps falling from her lips.

It's heated and passionate.

It's fucking and loving, and she's gotta feel it too. She has to.

I bite down on her shoulder. Lightly. And then she tells me harder. I don't know if she wants my bite harder or my thrusts, so I give her both.

It feels closer, more intimate than it did last night. I breathe out into her ear, telling her how fucking good she makes me feel. I start to slow my pace, hips moving lazily against her, because it really is too good and I wanna last.

She shifts a bit and I watch as she slips a hand between her waist and the mattress.

It's so fucking hot.

"Are you touching yourself?" I pant.

"Yes. God, yes."

I'm even closer now, but I try to hold off for her.

With her cheek pressed against the mattress, she begins chanting fuck, fuck, fuck over and over again when I feel her clench around me.

It's her name I pant as I chase my own release.

We take a quick shower together. She washes her hair with my shitty shampoo, and asks me to scrub her back. I wash my face, and when my eyes are closed with suds covering my cheeks, she kisses me under the stream of water.

When I open my eyes, she looks… worried. For a moment. It was there. But it passes so quickly, I don't want to push.

She puts her dress back on, warning me that she needs to keep her clothes on this time. She texts Esme to let her know she's gonna be late. When she laughs out loud, she shows me Esme's response.

An eggplant emoji along with a crying laughing face.

Bella replies with the middle finger emoji.

"She ain't wrong, though," Bella snarks, raising her eyebrows at me.

Fifteen minutes later, I'm pulling in front of her building. We sit in silence for a second before I leave the truck and walk around to open her door.

"I wasn't waiting for you to get my door for me," she says, giving me a look as she gets out. "But thank you."

"I know."

"I was just… lingering," she teases. "Didn't you say I was a lingerer?"

I smile. "I did. You'd sign Liam in and stick around to talk to me."

"But we mostly bickered," she laughs.

"I liked it," I tell her, pulling her into my arms. "I loved seeing you for those few minutes every Wednesday and Friday."

Her hands run up my chest. "Well, now you get to see me more." She kisses my chin. "Like whenever you want."

"Can't you call out of work? Just... stay with me?"

"Don't you have to go to work, too, though?"

"I don't have to."

"I wish I didn't." Her smile is the tiniest bit sad, and she looks worried again. "But I do. And I'll see you later."

"So, can I pick you up before the show tonight?" I ask.

God, I sound eager. I sound like a fucking lovesick fool. And I am. But maybe I should ease up a bit.

"Yeah," she says, tightening her arms around my waist. "Pick me up."

She tilts her chin up to kiss me, and I gently grab both sides of her neck when I kiss her back. We pull away a little, and I stare down at her before brushing wet hair over her shoulders.

"I'll pick you up, and then we can talk," I say carefully.

This is the second time I've mentioned needing to talk this morning. A flicker of curiosity passes over her face, and then it's gone.

She nods. "Okay."

"Okay," I echo.

"Now you're lingering," she laughs, pushing at my stomach.

I grab her wrist, keeping her close. "Because I don't want you to go."

"Why?"

"I don't want everything to change," I whisper.

I watch her swallow, her expression softening. "Nothing's gonna change," she tells me, but her words bring little comfort.

She doesn't know what I have to say, so she can't promise me that.

Everything will change.

I inhale deeply and try to let it go.

I can feel my own gaze turn tender as I stare at her. That happens sometimes. I go full fucker-in-love on her, but I can't help it.

"Okay." I scrub a hand over my mouth. "I'll see you at eight?"

"Sounds good."

She kisses me once more before we fall into an embrace. It's like the hug we shared the morning after I took care of her, but there's more emotion behind it this time. We've connected in a way that so rarely happens for me. I wonder if she feels it, too.

Her phone chimes twice, and she mutters "shit." Reluctantly her arms drop from my waist, and we pull away from each other. But it feels like neither of us wants to let go.

"I'll see you soon," she tells me, slowly walking toward her building as I get in my truck.

"One more for the road?" I call out, and she laughs, ducking her head inside my open window to kiss me one last time.

"You gotta let me go," she teases, walking backward.

My eyes follow her until she's inside.

And then my phone rings.

I stare down at the screen, taking a deep breath before answering.

"Hello?"

"Edward."

"Yeah?"

"It's your father. Again."

I clench my jaw. I know. I sent him to voicemail earlier this morning.

"Did you need something?" I ask.

His throat clears. "No, I just wanted to call and say…"

He doesn't speak for nearly a full minute. But I refuse to fill the silence for him.

"I've been thinking since last night."

I stare out the windshield. "And?"

"I'm not going to apologize for wanting more for you," he says sternly. "I refuse to do so."

"This is why you called me?"

I hear him sigh deeply into the phone. "I've been hard on you, it seems. I realize that."

"Yeah." I scoff into the line, staring up at Bella's building. "That's an understatement."

He pauses for too long then says, "Your mother always got onto me about it, too. It was never my intention."

"Could've fooled me," I mumble.

"I'm not a bad man, Edward."

"I never said you were." I mean, I've thought it. A lot. But I've never said it to him.

"I have expectations."

"I don't want to be one of your expectations," I say cooly. "I thought I was your son."

The line is eerily quiet until he says, "Your friend… she seems good for you. She's fierce."

"She's more than my friend," I tell him.

Because she is.

She's fucking everything.

"I gathered as much." Dad's tone is a minuscule amount softer. "She reminded me of your mother. For a moment. The way she was looking out for you."

I swallow thickly, unsure of what to say. "Yeah."

Maybe he doesn't know what else to say either because he clears his throat again.

"Maybe—"

"What?"

"We could try dinner again. Sometime. I could get to know Bella. And you."

It's so tempting to tell him no. To tell him we've fucking tried—or at least I have—and I'm done. Why keep forcing it? Because of Mom?

Then I stop myself. Because yeah. This is for her. All of this is for her. She would want us to try. But I can't imagine she would ever want it to be like... this.

"Yeah, maybe," I say noncommittally.

If it happens, it happens.

If not... I'll fucking live.

"Okay. Well, I just wanted to call," he says evenly.

"Not to apologize though," I remind him.

I hear his gruff sigh into the phone.

"Take care of yourself," he tells me. "I'll get back to you on dinner."

And then the line goes silent.

I sit there for a moment before I pull away from the curb.

Once I get home, I'm unsure what to do since I have some time to spare before my consultation at noon.

So I clean up a little.

I think about Bella.

And with her on my mind, I do something I haven't done in a very fucking long time: I find a notebook, and I write.