The rest of the fic will no longer follow my usual format of one chapter per character POV. I think that structure is part of what held me back for so long, among other things. Immensely grateful to anyone who is here, thank you so much for your patience and continuing interest. I have A New Hope for this story, and while the quarantine is horrible for most people being away from work has been fantastic for my mental health. So here you go! Enjoy!

The legislative sector of the Republic after the failed peace conference was a wild ride of twists and turns, and Padmé wanted to get off.

It became clearer every day that the Senate was hopeless without a leader, but a replacement could not be agreed upon. Bills went nowhere, discussions were chaos, negotiations could not be had. No one would listen. No one would do anything. No one would even try.

And there was more. Whispers, scattered but persistent rumors of clones turning on their Jedi. Pointing their blasters at droids one minute and then their generals the next. Padmé didn't know for certain if the rumors were true, but they were there, and they were beginning to have a cost. Dissent was spreading like wildfire through the Republic, broadcast across the holonet, so poisonous it reached its grip even into the Senate itself.

There were protests in the streets, anti-war and anti-Jedi. Well, she at least she agreed with the former. This war needed to end, and Padmé could not understand why everyone else was blind to this fact. It was too costly. Economically, mentally, physically. It was not sustainable. Neither government had a leader. So why was it still going on?

The Senate would not listen, drowned her words out more ardently than they ever had, so Padmé decided to take her message elsewhere: to the masses. She went on the holonet, on program after program, taking questions and trying to reach a multitude of demographics. Speeches, fundraisers, events, interviews. If people's representatives would not listen to their constituents, she said to the cameras, they must vote in people who would.

Her peers in the Senate did not approve. They said she was pandering, manipulating, they retorted to personal attacks with always the same excuse: don't listen to her. She helped put Palpatine in office.

Indeed she had, and she was getting so sick of being reminded of it that she could feel a change in her mood. She was being dragged down to the depths, suddenly remembering very vividly what it had felt like to be tremendously depressed, but this time she decided she would fight back. If every interview wanted to talk about Palpatine, then she would talk about Palpatine.

"I want to make it very clear," she said firmly to Coruscant Now host Cesi Bao, a purple-skinned Twi'lek with a penchant for spreading gossip and day drinking. What can I say, Padmé had thought dismally as she booked the interview, desperate times call for desperate measures. "Yes, on paper, Palpatine was elected into the office of the Supreme Chancellor because I, under his recommendation, called for a vote of no confidence in Chancellor Valorum. However, you may recall that I did not personally put forward his name, it was his fellow senators at the time who did that."

"I understand that he also assisted you in becoming queen?" Padmé affirmed the statement. "In retrospect, how do you think that influenced your reign?"

Padmé gathered her thoughts for a moment. "It feels personally devastating to know that I was something of a player in his twisted games. I will say, however, that I derive some personal satisfaction from knowing his plans to use me have repeatedly failed."

Cesi looked someone shocked at the boldness of her statement. "Can you elaborate?"

"Certainly," Padmé said, and feeling so fed up with everything she decided that a certain amount of her usual decorum was off the table. She would not hold back. She had so little to lose. "At the same time that then-Senator Palpatine was climbing to the role of Supreme Chancellor, he had also ordered the Trade Federation's blockade of my planet and sent his Sith Lord apprentice to kill me, thus attempting to create civil unrest in the galaxy. These attempts failed, as his apprentice was defeated by the Jedi and the occupation droids were shut down. Ten years later, via his next Sith Lord apprentice Count Dooku, he attempted to have me assassinated several more times. I can only assume this means I was doing something he did not like."

She could tell, and it gave her some satisfaction, that Cesi was feeling uncomfortable. Padmé knew why. People did not like to talk about what they did not understand, and Sith Lords were something the public very much did not understand. The host glanced at her producer, who in the corner of Padme's eye was motioning at Cesi to move things along, but Padmé would not be censored. Not anymore.

"Do you personally agree with the anti-war activists that have been gaining popularity throughout the Republic?"

"I respect the right to peacefully protest the war," Padmé said calmly. "I have been fighting against this war since before its inception. In fact, one of Palpatine's assassination attempts against me was due to my opposition to the Military Creation Act."

Cesi tried to cut her off. "Do you —"

"And I want to emphasize," Padmé said loudly, "That while people should be protesting the war itself, many of them are instead targeting the Jedi. They are targeting the people who are constantly putting their lives on the line for the benefit of the masses. You ask if I support the anti-war movement, but what I really support is people learning the truth, and the truth is that our enemies are not the Jedi, they are not the clone army, they are not even the Separatist Parliament themselves. Our true enemy is the Sith, who manipulated all of us into starting this war that we as a collective now refuse to end. We are running out of resources and time. Please, everyone, I implore you, tell your representatives you will not stand for this. It is far past time to end the Clone War."

The woman across from her was stunned. Her producer waved to her frantically, and she said, "Senator Amidala, thank you, we are out of time."

Yes, Padmé thought. They were.

The last few months had been an uphill battle for Obi-Wan, but little more so than the rest of the war, at least. Though Dooku and Grievous were now both dead, the hidden figures at the head of the Separatist army persisted with the war effort. The Parliament maintained their independence. And thus they fought, hopping from system to system, winning more battles than they lost.

Anakin was back at the helm of the 501st, much to the delight of his men. After a few weeks of pacing around their living space, doing little but studying military protocol and strategy, the Council had deemed him ready and shipped them out. There were precautions that had to be heeded along the way, and though seizure-free since the failed peace conference Anakin's doctors would not approve him for flying, but overall Obi-Wan thought it was going remarkably well. His friend proved as always inspirational to his soldiers, and having him back seemed to drive them to work and fight harder than ever before. At the least, Obi-Wan felt relieved to have Rex there to keep an eye on Anakin when he and Ahsoka could not.

All was not well, though, for anomalies seemed to be cropping up quicker than they could track. Stray clones, apparently working alone, turning on their Jedi Generals. The first, two months ago, had been sent to Kamino, where the cloners concluded it was an anomaly, and announced their decision that it must have been some stray viral infection that influenced his judgement. When the second Jedi had been killed by a separate clone in another legion, suspicion began to grow among the Council. It hadn't felt right. And then came the third, then the fourth….

This was the fifth instance, now, Obi-Wan learned from the Council after another harrowing battle. Deep in thought, he walked slowly through the cruiser as it hurtled toward Coruscant, finding himself eventually in the hangar where Anakin was mindlessly touching up the yellow paint on his fighter's wing. Anakin didn't look up. "What's wrong now?"

"I just got off with the Council," Obi-Wan said, watching him work. "There's been another instance of a clone turning on a Jedi."

Anakin looked up, frowning. "How does this keep happening?"

"Hopefully we will soon find out," Obi-Wan said. "There were two Jedi on this mission, and the survivor is bringing this clone straight to the temple so we can do our own investigation."

"Against the orders of the Kaminoans? You Jedi are getting bold."

Obi-Wan smiled. Indeed, the Kaminoans had been staunchly against the Jedi bringing these matters into their own hands, and that sentiment had started to feel quite fishy about four Jedi deaths ago. "Hopefully whatever the issue is, it is something we can correct. Which brings me to my next point…when we return, the Council will be launching into the investigation. Yoda has to postpone your training."

"Again?" Anakin said, heaving a great aggravated sigh. "Look I'm happy to fight in the war for all of you but he's the one who suggested I train with him. How can I get anywhere if we keep putting it off?"

"Patience," Obi-Wan chided. "We will get there."

"Sidious is not going to wait for me to be ready to fight him," Anakin retorted, bending over his ship to hide his face. "The Separatists are shutting down droid factories all over the galaxy. We keep eliminating Separatist strongholds and one of these days, he will be there waiting for me. How can you really expect me to be patient?"

"Because Yoda expects you to," Obi-Wan said calmly. "He will not give you the training you want until he thinks you are ready."

"I am ready."

"You are not. You are far too busy being impatient."

Anakin sighed and leaned against the ship dramatically. "I'm sorry."

"You don't need to be," Obi-Wan said, putting a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder. "You just need to slow down. Yoda will be there when you do." Anakin hung his head and nodded introspectively.

Obi-Wan gave him a gentle pat on the back. "I'll find you after my meeting, and we shall work on that slowing down."

He bade his friend farewell, and when the cruiser arrived on Coruscant he made straight for the Council strategy room. Mace filled him in on the latest. It was the same situation as the last three — one solitary clone, in the midst of heated battle, had been fighting with the Jedi one moment and against them the next. Always, without fail, a clone who had shown exemplary service and dedication until one moment they didn't. And it was always the same pattern. A single blaster bolt to the back.

Dooku's words plagued his mind. It only takes one droid to kill a Jedi. But these were not droids, not this time. Clones, soldiers with loyalty bred into their genes. The Jedi had never found out exactly how the Kaminoans had done this in the first place, but Obi-Wan suspected they were soon to find out.

Soon, the clone who had done the most recent killing, Sid, arrived in the medical ward. He looked unwell, gaunt and distressed, his hands bound in cuffs but otherwise unrestrained. He shirked back in the examining chair as if in fear.

Shaak Ti, just back from Kamino, began a line of questioning in her firm but gentle tone. "Sid, my name is Shaak Ti of the Jedi Council. Can you please tell us what happened?"

Sid was shaking, and wouldn't look any of them in the eye. He did not seem entirely cognizant of his surroundings. "Good…good soldiers…follow…good soldiers follow orders… good soldiers follow orders.…"

"Can you hear me, Sid? What orders did you receive, and from whom?"

The clone reached his bound hands to his face and tapped at his temple, still staring wildly at nothing. "The orders…they've always been there…always known, just waiting, waiting for the orders…the mission…the great mission…."

The heart rate sensor was going wild. Shaak Ti placed a gentle hand on Sid's shoulder to hold him back as he squirmed, and with her touch, he seemed to notice she was there. For a moment he stared at her, as if seeing something for the first time, and muttered, "Jedi…."

He exploded into movement, but none of the Jedi were to be startled. Rather, he was calmly held down even as he fought them and a doctor stepped forward to sedate him.

Shaak Ti looked around at the other masters. "Each clone I examined on Kamino exhibited similar behaviors as Sid has, a hostility toward the Jedi, and a certainty that he had orders against us. They've all had the same sense of confusion and delirium. The Kaminoans maintain that these are isolated anomalies caused by some sort of virus, but I sense something greater at work here."

"An infection of some sort would not be without precedent," Obi-Wan said, stroking his beard in thought. "During the second battle of Geonosis we encountered a mind-controlling parasite. It is not impossible the Geonosians provided something of the like to the other Separatists before we took control of their planet."

Windu nodded thoughtfully. "Our knowledge of the Geonosian parasites is limited, but they seemed to cause the victim to be hostile toward any enemy of the Separatists, not just Jedi."

"I was present for many of the tests the Kaminoans performed," Shaak said, "And from what I was shown there was no confirmed evidence of any sort of parasite or other infection. I think a more likely possibility is some form of Separatist brainwashing. We know from Skywalker that this is within their power. He may have some insight that could be useful in solving this mystery."

"Bring him in we will," Yoda said in agreement. "In the meantime, perform you must any necessary tests on this soldier."

"I recommend a progressive series of brain scans," Shaak Ti said to both the doctors and Yoda. "It was originally suggested by a droid to the Kaminoans after the first Jedi death, but they refused and instead terminated each of the clones. I think it a fitting place to begin. If the initial scans do not work, progress up to a level five atomic brain scan."

The doctors set to work, and later the Council gathered in the communications hub to explain their queries to Anakin.

"You think the clones might have been brainwashed?" Anakin said, crossing his arms over his chest thoughtfully. "I suppose it's possible."

"Did you see anyone else in the facility who looked to be in the same situation as you?" Windu asked.

"No," Anakin said. "To my knowledge it was just me. Although…even if you're right, this feels different than what they did to me. It seems…." He hesitated, shifting uncomfortable. "It seems like these clones were being influenced in a way I wasn't. From what I've heard they seem unable to stop themselves whereas I was in full control of my actions."

"Still, other forms of brainwashing have been documented," Plo Koon's hologram said. "Have we performed any psychological tests on this clone?"

"Psychological tests were attempted, yes," Shaak Ti replied, "But they were ineffective. Sid is under far too much distress to answer any questions rationally."

"What about other forms of Separatist intervention?" Ki-Adi-Mundi said. "Including possible infiltration of Kamino? A conspiracy, perhaps?"

"Much there is that we do not know," Yoda said. "Know we not how this army came to be. Claim these Kaminoans do that Master Sifo-Diyas commissioned the army, but another figure there was, according to Obi-Wan."

"That's right," Obi-Wan affirmed. "Jango Fett told me he had never heard the name Sifo-Diyas, but rather he had been recruited by a man called Tyranus. But we have never been able to find any evidence of this man except for Fett's testimony."

"I think I can answer that one," Anakin said unexpectedly, and everyone turned to him. "It's Dooku."

Windu furrowed his brow. "What makes you think so?"

Anakin looked surprised they didn't know. "Darth Tyranus, that's Dooku's Sith name. That's what they had me call him when I was on Serenno."

Obi-Wan gaped at him. "You're saying Dooku commissioned the clone army?"

"Apparently," Anakin said, seeming unfazed by the revelation.

The room was silent for a moment. The council was as shocked as a group of wizened Jedi masters would allow themselves to be. Even Yoda seemed forlorn. "Blind we are," he said. "Deeper and deeper, this conspiracy goes. Another plot to destroy us this is, set in motion by Darth Sidious. Learn the full truth, we must."

At that moment, the door to the room opened and the doctor from Sid's examination, Master Senna, entered with a bow. "Forgive my intrusion, masters, but I have an urgent update." Windu motioned for her to proceed. "As instructed by Master Ti, we conducted a level five atomic brain scan of clone trooper Sid and located an anomaly in his brain — a tumor of some sort. I have it here."

She raised a glass sample to show them. "Only, after performing a few tests on it, we discovered it is not actually a tumor by any definition we know. It contains no recognizable cancer cells that have ever been documented in a human. We examined it at a microscopic level side-by-side with a DNA sample of the clone's regular brain tissue and I can confirm that they are not a match. It is organic in nature but its gene structure is entirely different. I believe whatever this is was planted inside Sid's brain before he reached the developmental stage analogous to a newborn."

"Is there any way to confirm this?" Shaak Ti asked.

"I recommend the first course of action should be to select a randomized control group of clones from different batches and perform similar brain scans to see if this mass is unique. However," she said, her expression darkening, "I have neglected to mention that after the removal of this mass, clone trooper Sid died shortly thereafter upon the operating table. We have not yet determined if these two things are related, as his body had already been under immense stress."

Yoda looked troubled. "Agree I do with your suggestion. Find volunteers we must, quickly."

Windu nodded, and looked around the table. "Everyone here with a detachment currently on Coruscant, go to your men and look for volunteers. But be discreet — we do not yet want this to become public knowledge, even among our troops."

"Informed the volunteers must be of any risk, but worry I do not. A duty to the Republic these clones have, as do we all. Willing to put their lives on the line they will be. Nonetheless, only to trusted clones you all must go. A secret indeed this must be kept. Much time we do not have. Act now we must, before more Jedi can be killed."

Yoda dismissed them, but motioned to Anakin and Obi-Wan to stay. "Put it off any longer I cannot. Begin your training we must, Skywalker. Go now to your clones and do what we have asked, then to my quarters you must come. But make no haste, for calm and patient your mind will have to be to learn what I must teach you."

Seeming satisfied, Yoda walked slowly off, leaning heavier than usual on his walking stick, and Obi-Wan met Anakin's eyes. He knew, instinctively, they were thinking the same thing — everything was about to change, and perhaps not for the better.

When Padmé came home from the office that night, her mind was so distracted that at first she did not notice all the lights were already on. Unusual, she thought, but perhaps the cleaning droids had come off-schedule or security had forgotten to turn it off. Not the strangest thing, she thought, until she heard something that was strange — voices. Several of them, coming from her dining room.

Motée, who had been with her all day, noticed her confusion but gave her an innocent smile as she walked off to her own private room to go off shift. "I wonder who that could be?"

Feeling uncannily like she was being set up for a strange prank, Padmé went slowly into her dining room and saw —

"Padmé's home!" her mother Jobal said immediately to her granddaughters, sitting at the dining table along with Padmé's father Ruwee and her sister Sola. The girls, Pooja and Ryoo, screamed in the way that young girls did and jumped out of their seats, running to their aunt so fast they almost knocked Padmé over.

She laughed, more unexpectedly exhilarated than she had been for ages. "What in the name of Shiraya are you all doing here?"

"It's a surprise, silly," Sola said, coming over to hug her. "Maybe you can't take a vacation but we certainly can."

"A vacation," Padmé said, fake-skeptical. "To the capital of a wartime Republic that's hanging on by the skin of its teeth?"

"That's the one!"

Padmé was so happy she wanted to cry.

It turned out, they explained over dinner, that they had been watching her various displays over the holonet and thought she needed to destress but knew she couldn't get away. "We saw you on Cesi Bao," Jobal said excitedly. "It was so funny, she had no idea what to say. Everyone is talking about it."

"Who is everyone?" Padmé asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Oh, you're the talk of Theed," Sola said. "But I want to know what the queen thinks. Have you talked to her?"

"Queen Neeyutnee is almost as tired of this war as I am," Padmé said. "Don't tell anyone, but she's glad her term is ending. She's done a fantastic job, but I can only imagine how stressful it must be to rule right now. I can understand why she didn't run for reelection, especially after everything with Palpatine."

"What do you think of Apailana?" Ruwee asked curiously. "I assume she plans to keep you on as senator?"

"She told me so, yes," Padmé said. "I think she's wonderful. I just hope we can end the war before she's coronated."

They talked about politics throughout dinner, and then about Pooja and Ryoo, who blushed when Padmé said they got more beautiful every time she saw them. Afterward, they moved to the veranda, where Padmé braided Pooja's hair while telling them exciting stories about her adventures with the Jedi. Eventually, Sola had to practically drag them away for bedtime, and her parents sat across from Padmé exchanging a look that made her think the mood in here was about to change.

"Okay," Jobal said slowly, "I know I've said it a thousand times, but I'm your mother and I'm worried about you. The effort you put into your work is astounding even at the worst of times. And we're not trying to pressure you in any way…we're only suggesting this because we care about you and your health. Have you ever considered…settling down? Retiring from the senate, and coming home?"

"We're not suggesting you leave public service, by any means," Ruwee assured her.

"But I'm afraid this war is wearing you down too much," Jobal continued. "You're still so young, I don't want you spending your entire youth fighting with these idiots in the Senate."

Padmé smiled at them sadly. "I appreciate that more than you can ever know. And yes of course I wish I could come home, but people need me here. What I'm doing is so necessary and I'm just afraid if I stepped down there would be no one else to do what has to be done."

"And the Naboo just love you," Ruwee affirmed, "But they seem to be the only ones who want to listen to you. I don't want the contention in the government here to break you."

"And we just feel so apart from you, honey," Jobal said, making an obvious effort not to sound too upset by the fact. "We feel like we don't know anything about the amazing woman that you've become."

"And we don't mean Senator Amidala," Ruwee nodded. "We see her in the news every day. And don't think we're not proud, because we are…but we feel like we've lost touch with Padmé Naberrie."

"So let's just talk for a little while," Jobal said, with the gentle smile that Padmé most loved on her face. "Just tell us about how you've been. What projects are you working on? Have you had any relationships lately?"

Padmé felt her face flush, and she knew her parents must have noticed. She had never told her parents about her secret marriage to her secret husband, had agreed with Anakin from the start that if this was going to work, even those closest to them could not know. But that was no longer true, and it was no longer entirely a secret; Obi-Wan knew, now, and Ahsoka, and even Sola, and she hated asking her sister to lie to their parents for her…. The only thing that gave her pause, really, was the fact that it had been so long…it had been nearly three years, now, since she had gotten married, and a substantially large part of her felt that the longer she waited, the more awkward it would necessarily be when she finally told them….

For the first time in her life, she suddenly realized with a jolt how enormously distant from her parents she had been. For years. She hadn't officially lived in their residence since she was a young girl, so young she hadn't even begun to dream that she might actually be queen some day. She had always been welcome home, yes, and she had always nominally thought of them, and of Naboo, as her truest home, yet she was so distant from them. And not just by proximity, but emotionally, too. She'd never told them of her depression, even if they'd ultimately figured it out; they knew next to nothing of her friends outside politics, of her intimate relationships with not one but three Jedi; they were even, she realized, never the first to hear about her new projects, her new politics.

She didn't want to be so distanced from them. She had never intended for it to happen, it had just…well, happened.

Well, not anymore, she decided, because they deserved better than that. Their whole family did.

So, with a deep breath, she said, "Actually…," and she tried not to see the intrigued look that her mother and father shared with each other. "Do you remember that Jedi boy who was assigned to guard me during the Separatist Crisis?"

Her parents shared another look, and her mother said, slowly, "Yes…and Sola said he was the one who…was on the HoloNet with Count Dooku?"

Her father added, "And now they're saying he's alive?"

Padmé didn't bother to ask where they'd learned that Anakin had survived. He was back at war now, after all, and she couldn't pretend to be surprised that the hero Jedi who died and then came back would be a headline. Really, she was just grateful that she didn't have to explain the situation over again.

"Yes," she said, nodding. "And he was the one who blew up the droid control ship and shut down the occupation armies when I was queen. He and I have a long history, you see, and when you met him, and I told you that our relationship was strictly professional, that was true."

Her mother raised an eyebrow. "It was true."

Padmé nodded. "It was…until a few days later, when we realized that we were in love."

There was no judgement on their faces. Yet. Mostly, they just looked interested. Padmé stood, suddenly needing to move around, and went on. "Now, you probably know that Jedi are not supposed to have romantic relationships. Which is why, ultimately, I never told you…." She turned toward them, stood as tall as she could, and said, "Mom, Dad…I'm married."

Silence overtook the room, and Padmé watched as her mother looked at her father, and her father looked at her mother, and as they looked back at her and said, "What?"

"I am married," she repeated calmly, "To Jedi General Anakin Skywalker." Her face immediately broke out in an enormous grin, and she realized she had never before said those exact words aloud, for others to hear. "And it feels so good to say that."

"Wait a minute, Padmé," Ruwee said, standing to match his daughter. Jobal was still seated, stunned, staring up at Padmé. "You're married. For how long?"

Padmé took a deep breath. "Since the start of the war."

"But why didn't you tell us?"

"Because," Padmé said calmly, "Our entire careers were at stake. If the Jedi Council found out, he would be expelled from their order, and if the Senate and the Queen knew, it would ruin my reputation for…for breaking social mores, for…corrupting one of the proud and noble Jedi Knights that defend our Republic. It's not like I thought you would spill the secret, of course not — it's just that, we thought it would be safer if no one knew, and that had to mean no one. And I really am sorry, and I swear it was never personal. If I had been able to tell anyone, you would have been the first."

"If you had 'been able to?'" Jobal repeated, still sitting. "Does that mean he —"

"No, Mom," Padmé said, shaking her head violently. "Everything was mutual. He never put me up to anything. In fact, I was the one who proposed to him."

And she would never forget that day. Together, on the way back to Naboo from Coruscant, where he was letting her examine his shining new prosthetic, watching her face with the first real smile she had seen on him since before Tatooine….

"I love you, too," he had said suddenly. When she had looked up to meet his eyes, they had pierced her with the same passion they'd had at Varykino. "I don't remember if I told you, after you said you loved me in the arena."

Padmé had returned his grin, and leaned in to kiss him, and then kissed him once more, just for good measure. "Not in those words, maybe, but I knew."

She remembered how he had reached his new arm around her to pull her in close, touching her very gingerly with the new hand. And she had sat there, curled up with him as her ship hurtled through hyperspace, and then suddenly she had found herself voicing an idea that she'd had for days, one that was absolutely insane, one that two rational people would never go through with, but they hadn't been rational, they'd been in love….

"This is going to sound crazy," she had whispered, as if it were a secret. It was a secret. "If we're going to do this thing for real, then we can do it…for real."

"What do you mean?"

"Marry me," she'd breathed, staring into his eyes. "Marry me, Anakin."

He hadn't hesitated. He hadn't thought about it for even a moment. Thought about the consequences, the conditions. All he'd done was lean in and kiss her and nod his agreement into the kiss, and then she had wrapped both arms around his shoulders and the next day they were married and that night, she had felt closer with him than she had ever imagined being able to feel with anyone….

Anakin, she knew, remembered none of that. Maybe it would come back to him, one day. Or maybe not. But Padmé, she would never, ever forget.

Now, her parents were looking between each other and her, and for a while they were all three of them quiet, seated again on the soft couches. Having been lost in her memory, Padmé noticed now just how…not quite sad, not quite disappointed, but rather…how defeated they appeared.

"Mom, Dad," she said again, looking between them from the opposite couch. "I really am sorry I lied to you. But I hope you can also be happy for me."

Jobal caught herself, and put a smile on her face, put her hand on her husband's knee. "Of course we are, darling. We're just a little shocked, is all."

"Did you at least get married in the religion?" Ruwee asked, with a casual hopefulness.

"Yes," Padmé said, nodding. "Our two droids were our witnesses, and our astromech might still have the footage in him. I'll try to find it for you."

"Do we get to meet him?" Jobal asked, still trying to keep her smile on.

Again, Padmé found herself hesitating. "Well," she said, "That's where things get a little complicated. You know Count Dooku faked Anakin's death on the HoloNet, but…see, he was held captive by Dooku for an entire year before the Jedi found him. I still don't know exactly what they did to him, but he's had some…well, long-term memory problems since he came back, and a lot of other issues that he's working through, and we're not exactly…together, anymore."

Her parents didn't appear to know what to say to that, though they looked stricken, so Padmé reached out her hands in a placating way and said, "But it's okay! I'm okay. I mean, I miss him everyday, of course. I wish that I could be there more for him. But we're friends. We talk whenever we can, and he's back to fighting the war now but when he comes to Coruscant we see each other."

"You still love him," Ruwee said, looking at her in quiet sympathy.

"I love him so much, Dad," she said. She found herself thinking of Anakin's face, and talked as if she were in a daydream. "It's so complicated. I can't even explain it all, it would take ages, but…I thought he was dead for a year. An entire year…that's why I dropped off the face of the planet for a while. I couldn't talk to anyone about it, because it was still a secret, and I didn't have the energy to be able to explain…I couldn't even say his name or think about him without crying. Then I found out he was alive, and then I found out he didn't remember me…and sometimes I still cry when I think about him, but mostly I can't help but smile. When I see him across the room, or when someone mentions his name in a war report, I…I'm so in love with him, and even if he never loves me again I can't ever see myself loving someone else the way that I love him."

Her parents were looking at her from the other couch, but they no longer looked upon her in defeat, or disappointment, or whatever it was. Rather, it was a sad but loving gaze, and she knew that now they understood. And how could they not? They had been married for more than thirty years, and they always seemed as happy together as she had ever been able to remember them. Of course they would understand.

It was then that Sola came back in, having put the girls to sleep, and she stopped dead when she saw the looks on all their faces. "Did I miss something?"

Padmé moved aside to give her room on the couch. "I told them about Anakin."

Jobal's brows shot up. "Sola knew?" Ruwee patted her on the arm, and she cleared her throat. "Sorry. I'm still getting used to the idea."

"It's okay, Mom," Padmé said. "I told Sola a few months ago when I went home to meet with the queen. I'm sorry."

"Oh, quit apologizing," Sola said, waving her hand in the air. "You've enough on your plate without worrying about upsetting us. We're happy for you, all of us. And when the girls find out, they'll be thrilled. Ryoo thought your Jedi was so cute when he came to visit. And maybe one day they'll get some cousins!"

Padmé laughed. "Don't get ahead of yourself. He's not even interested in me right now."

"Sure he is," Sola said, shrugging. "What kind of man would find out he's married to Queen Amidala and turn her away? He'll be back, don't you worry."

"And when he does," Jobal said, smiling mischievously like she agreed with Sola, "I'm sure you'll tell us about it right away, won't you?"

"Yes, Mom," Padmé said with another laugh. "I promise."

Anakin went to Yoda as promised after returning from his flagship, entering the elderly Jedi's personal chambers with a twinge of nervousness he could not help. With his eyes closed, already deep in meditation, Yoda gestured with clawed fingers for Anakin to sit and mirror him. Thinking of what the wizened master had said earlier, Anakin closed his eyes and tried to emulate Yoda with a determination to be calm and as Jedi-like as he could be.

But it was hard — it wasn't that he never meditated. He did, although it was never really a conscious decision to do so. Usually, he would go to the hangar to distract himself, or sink deep into fiddling with a droid to better deal with the thoughts he had, or exercise now that his physical problems were under control, but it was only after Obi-Wan had mentioned what he called moving meditation that Anakin had realized that's what it was.

It would not be like that with Yoda, he knew. He just hoped he didn't get jittery.

He felt the old master move, and opened his eyes. Yoda slowly raised his gaze to look at him, and Anakin couldn't bite down a feeling that he was really being seen. "Train you now I will not," Yoda said conclusively. "Ready, you are not."

What?

Anakin didn't realize at first he had said it out loud, but he did. "You said it yourself earlier today. You said we can't wait any longer."

"Wrong I was. Too hasty are you now. Learn nothing you will if you cannot let go your impatience."

Jittery indeed. He had to get up. He had to stand. He could not help but to move around the room and he could not help the anger that swelled inside him. He swung around to look at Yoda, who watched him calmly. "How can I help but be impatient if every single time I come back to Coruscant to train, you change your mind? I want to destroy the Sith for you! I want to put an end to this, but that's enough and I just don't understand why. Everything with you and Windu is cryptic statements and criticisms. It's like you expect me to come to the correct conclusions about everything on my own without actually telling me what I'm doing wrong!"

"Oh!" Yoda exclaimed, his eyes wide. "And come to the correct conclusion, you have."

Anakin sighed, and sat back on the stool. "I don't understand, Master Yoda. I don't know how not to be angry. How not to be impatient."

Yoda hummed in agreement. "Your greatest failing, that is," he said. "Come, come." He waved his hand, and Anakin got back into the meditative position. "The reason impatient you are is that slow down you will not. Always with you it is a hurry, it is something that must be done. Quickly, quickly, you say. Eager you are to get to the next moment. Always following temptation you are. Just now, thought that had to move around you did. To truly know the Force, you must be present. You must stop."

He shook his head a little. "Start slow we will, for slow you must learn to be. Close your eyes. For five minutes, think not. Feel not, except with the Force. Empty your mind must be."

"I'll try."

"No," Yoda said sharply. "You will either do, or you will not."

With a nod, Anakin closed his eyes, and breathed. And adjusted his pose to be more comfortable. Breathed more. And he thought, about how hard it was not to think.

After a time, Yoda said, "Cluttered your mind is. Fidgeting you are. Too conscious of your physical form. Now, again, clear your mind. And this time, do."

It went on for a while, though he did not know how long, and eventually Anakin wasn't exactly sure what he was thinking, just that he couldn't seem to stop doing it. Eventually, Yoda halted the cycle, and Anakin realized how late it had gotten.

Yoda looked him over, seeing through him. "Hmmm. Better, though thinking still you are. A long way you have to go. Continue practicing you must, constantly. Dwelling you are on physical things. People, actions. Let go you must." Anakin said nothing. "Think of yourself as a body, you do, but incorrect this is. Luminous beings are we. Made of the Force are we, occupying temporary vessels. Focus you do on the termination of these vessels. Fear death you do, more than anything. But a cycle life is, and a part of that cycle death is as well. Die you will, and I, and your friends. And no stranger are you to death."

Anakin looked up at him, suddenly feeling more exposed than he had for a long time.

"Now, once more," Yoda instructed him, and Anakin obeyed. This time, he did not try. He just…did.

So this is a bit montage-y and I don't want anything to feel rushed, I just know I need to get all this out before I go back to work in the indeterminate future or I may truly never finish this story. I am genuinely sorry to anyone who thinks I abandoned this. I did not. I just could not figure out what to do and could not seem to form a single word.

Anyway I hope you liked it and the next chapters are, finally, well under way. I thought about waiting until they were closer to completion but I feel like you deserve this now lol.

Clone Wars Season 7 hype baybee!