Synchronized Heartbeats
Written By: TCOOKIES777
Chapter 42: Drowning Together
The ride home was just as awkward as Rin had expected it to be. Not once did Gou glance his way or attempt to make conversation with him. After a few attempts at idle chatter with his sister, Rin had given up in less than five minutes when all he'd received from her had either been a shake or nod. Okay, so she wasn't in the mood to talk. That was fine. What bothered Rin was that he wasn't sure why.
Is she still mad at me for missing Christmas with her?
Or does it have something to do with the accident?
But if it's something to do with the car accident, then why would she be mad at me?
If Gou wasn't sitting at his side right now as they waited for the stoplight to turn green, Rin would've taken the chance to tilt back his head and voice his frustration with a loud groan. Instead, he settled for running a jittery hand through his hair.
Finally, he peeled into the driveway of the house, both relieved and anxious with how Gou would behave from here on out in the privacy of their home. As soon as he switched off the engine, he hopped out of the car and darted over to Gou's side to open her door before she could.
"Here," said Rin, offering his hand to help her down as she adjusted her crutch.
When she dismissed his offer of assistance with a wave of her hand, he tried to ignore the sudden discomfort in his chest. Still, he kept his arm raised just in case she changed her mind and needed him for balance or support. Keeping a careful eye on his sister, Rin followed her into the house. The door shut quietly behind him as he watched Gou toe-off her left shoe and then—
"I got it," he knelt in a second, gently grasping that slender calf in one hand and her shoe in his other hand. Gingerly, Rin slipped her shoe off, dragging his fingers down her bandaged ankle before peering up at her. "You good?" he murmured, resisting the urge to lean in and kiss the top of that delicate foot in his hand.
She nodded, her gaze unreadable beneath the dark curtain of her hair.
Releasing her foot, Rin stood up and, before Gou could move ahead and away from him, he decided to give in to his urges just a little. Her petite body was just as warm and soft as Rin remembered as he wrapped his arms around her firmly, but not tight enough to hurt her ribs.
"I know now's not the right time for this," he murmured, letting that ruby curtain of hair tickle his nose along with the faint scent of strawberries, "but I'm just so glad that you're okay, Gou. That I can still hold you like this. I… I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you."
Her existence had become so deeply ingrained in him, weaved into the fibers of his very being. It was like he was one end of a string and her on the other end and, when they were together, they became a livewire eliciting a shower of sparks and energy—the kind that clenched your teeth when you touched it. The only time Rin felt truly alive, besides in the depths of water, was when he was at Gou's side.
Like two puzzle pieces fitting together.
Leaning in, Rin nuzzled the junction of her neck, sucking in a deep breath of her fruity aroma and letting her scent seep into his lungs. Tugging at her sweater revealed just an inch of her flesh and Rin couldn't resist the urge to lay a kiss on that vulnerable strip, his lips meeting warm skin.
The moment lasted less than a second before his sister shrugged away from him. Small hands pulled at his forearms, loosening his hug.
"I'm tired," Gou simply said.
Shocked by the apathy of her response, Rin let his arms fall to his side as he watched Gou step away from him. The gentle thud of the crutch on the floorboard echoed as she trailed into the kitchen. Still standing where she'd left him, Rin took the moment to recover, squeezing his hand tight so that his nails bit into his palm. The pain distracted him from that bothersome ache in his chest that had returned too soon.
Maybe she's just not in the mood? Ah, of course she's not, what the hell am I thinking? She just had an accident yesterday, Rin, and you can't even control yourself for her sake! Shaking his head, Rin continued to mentally berate himself. I'm such an idiot!
Then, with a sigh, he proceeded to force a smile on his face before following his sister into the kitchen. She was by the stove, absentmindedly tracing a finger around a used tea mug. He observed her distant expression; how she seemed lost in her own thoughts. Doesn't seem to be very happy thoughts either, he guessed.
"Are you hungry? I can cook you some—"
Gou shook her head. Still wearing a smile, Rin watched her brush by him to exit the kitchen, heading for the staircase instead. His smile fell away and he scampered to his sister's side. Before she could reject him, Rin swooped her into his arms, her crutch hanging on his shoulder as he carried her upstairs, relishing the feeling of having her hold onto him. From the corner of his eye, he caught the tips of Gou's ears tinged red despite her otherwise blank face.
It wasn't much of a reaction, but it was the best one he'd received so far since his return home.
Baby steps, he thought unenthusiastically as he set Gou down and handed back her crutch.
"Gou," he called to her, and she froze mid-step. Rubbing the nape of his neck, Rin forced his hand to keep from touching her shoulder and have her face him. "If there's, uh… If there's anything you want to do or anything you don't want to do, you can tell me. I'll do anything... Anything for you," he added softly.
His sister turned and, finally, those vibrant eyes met his. Rin held his breath, finding himself somewhat anxious of what her reply would be. There was an intensity to her gaze that made it seem like she was scrutinizing him. Shifting his feet, Rin waited as she pursed her lips. It was clear that she had something to say to him, but Rin didn't understand why her hesitation to do so. If anything, it only further raised his suspicions about the accident, but he knew that Gou wasn't ready to talk about that yet. Although, he would make sure they would talk about it.
Several tense seconds passed as Gou just stared at him before she finally opened her mouth to say, "A bath."
Rin blinked at her. "Eh?"
"I want a bath," she said, and that was all she gave him before she slipped into her room, firmly closing the door behind herself. Obviously, she didn't want him to come in.
Rin could understand that. What he couldn't understand was her mood; her responses had either been apathetic or ice cold. Which was typical of Gou whenever they had an argument, except there was something different about her anger this time. It wasn't the kind of anger that possessed his sister if he ever forgot to call and wish her a happy birthday. No, this time it was somehow similar to the anger she'd had shortly after learning that their father would never be able to return home from the storm.
An anger that was built on a deep-rooted pain that couldn't be alleviated that easily, followed by a flood of disappointment and despair.
It was the same song, but a different tune.
And somehow, I'm to blame for it.
He passed a hand down his face, wiping at the lines of exhaustion that would surely someday turn into wrinkles at this rate. His hand then slid into his coat pocket and, fingering the velvet box containing the ring, Rin found himself calming down. At least enough to stow away that damn ache in his chest.
Turning to the bathroom, he began to set up the place for her, wondering if he should also light up some scented candles for her comfort.
If their situation weren't like this right now, Rin would've sprinted to the flower shop and grab a bouquet of roses so that he could add some petals to his sister's bath. At least in that scenario, he would've had the courage to join her in the tub. Sadly, wooing Gou now would be a huge mistake. Still, Rin had to admit that all he wanted to do was hold his sister in his arms all day and kiss her like crazy because he'd missed her so much these past months apart. The fact that they had the whole house to themselves for at least a week before their mom would be back only frustrated Rin even more.
He sighed, running the bath and checking the temperature with his hand. Droplets of water slid across his forearm, prompting him to roll his sleeves up further.
Baby steps, Rin reminded himself.
Specks of blood already stained the bridge of her underwear and Gou stared at the dark red blots, deep in thought.
She just had the worst of luck. Why, of all days, did Rin have to come back now? His sudden and unannounced return had been a surprise for her, and not exactly a good one either. But life was full of terrifying surprises as she was quickly learning. The worst part about his return was that Gou had no idea what to say to her brother anymore. Before, she had so many things to tell him. But since the miscarriage of their child, Gou didn't know whether to share the bad news or not.
Is there even any point now?
What good would it do to tell Rin that he had gotten her pregnant, but that she had lost the baby? What good would it do for either of them? Even so, half of her wanted to tell Rin everything because he deserved to know that he had made something beautiful with her. But the other half wanted to tell Rin just so that he could hurt as much as she did, and that horrified Gou.
How could I do such a terrible thing to someone I love? That had been her initial thought until the guilt bled away into vindictiveness as she remembered that Rin had hurt her as well with secrets he'd kept from her. Secrets like his relationship with Ami, for instance.
Gou grit her teeth as the image of her brother walking side by side with Ami into that love hotel seared its way back into her mind. How could he pretend like he hadn't had sex with that bitch just a few days ago? And then he had the gall to act like he'd do anything for her?
'If there's anything you want to do or anything you don't want to do, just tell me. I'll do anything. Anything for you.'
Bring back our baby, she had wanted to tell her brother.
Staring at her nude body in the mirror, Gou was only reminded of the child that she'd carried for five months. Slowly, she cupped a hand to her belly, turning herself aside to study the shape of her bump. Where she had begun to swell and round in shape, her stomach had now become slightly baggy instead. As if she had just eaten too much junk food and had gained a bloated muffin top. Gou supposed she could pass off her bump as stomach fat she'd gained over the holiday break. Her leaking breasts were an entirely different issue, however, and she wasn't sure just how much longer she could go on stuffing her bra with tissue to keep from soaking through her tops.
A knock at the door drew a sharp gasp from her and she snatched the bath towel to cover herself. The door remained closed but her brother's voice came through. "Gou? The bath is ready."
Heaving a sigh of exhaustion, Gou dabbed a tissue to her nipples first before wrapping a towel around her body. She stepped out of her room, tightening her hold on the front of the bath towel when she discovered Rin waiting for her by the bathtub. The familiar scent of strawberries and mint filled the small space and the mirror was already fogged up from the heat of the water.
Rin sat on a stool, his arm slung across the lip of the tub.
"I can get in just fine by myself," she mumbled.
"I know," Rin smiled lightly, still holding his hand out in offer.
Gou fought to keep her eyes from rolling and said, "Then… look away."
"But... All right," her brother said quietly, turning his face away to heed her request, but keeping his hand raised towards her.
Fingering the flap of her towel, Gou suddenly felt even more shy than when he was still facing her. Somehow, the sound of his voice so low and gentle in the intimacy of the bathroom stirred that familiar warmth in her belly, stoking a flame she hadn't felt since the last time they'd been together.
Biting her lip, Gou tugged open the front of her towel and let it plop to the tile floor. If Rin turned his head now, he would be able to see her rotund belly and quickly figure out she'd been pregnant. She was gambling for a few seconds here. Making sure her brother's gaze was towards the sink and not her, she reluctantly grasped his hand and climbed into the tub, accidentally letting a pleased moan slip out of her mouth as the warm water enveloped her naked body.
"Is the temperature okay?" asked Rin.
"Mmn."
It was actually more accurate to say it was perfect, but Gou kept quiet, dragging a hand through the cloud of bubbles now covering her nudity. It took her a while to realize Rin was still holding her other hand, but she didn't know how to tell him to let go. And she wasn't entirely sure if she wanted him to.
"Do you need any help?"
"Mm-mm."
His thumb was now rubbing her knuckles, the touch tender and affectionate like that of a lover.
Suddenly, Gou found her cheeks too warm, but she blamed it on the heat of the water.
"Can I look now?"
She quickly glanced around herself, satisfied that there were more than enough bubbles to conceal everything below her shoulders. "... Mmn."
"I, uh… I brought some balm for your ankle sprain," Rin said, holding up a small tub of the medicine. She recognized the brown jar with the green lid, having seen her brother often use the balm throughout his years swimming here before he'd departed for Australia.
"Thanks," she muttered, reaching out to take the small jar when he suddenly pulled it out of reach.
"Uh-uh," Her brother gestured towards the water. "I'll do it."
"I—no, it's fine! I can do it!"
"Your ribs will hurt if you try to do it yourself."
"I'm… I'm on meds. The pain won't bother me too much," she argued.
Rin shook his head, keeping the jar firmly away from her grasps. "Just because it's not so painful doesn't mean it's fine. Suzuki-sensei said to limit your physical activity as much as possible so that your body can heal. As an athlete, I would say it's in your best interest to heed that advice."
There was no point in arguing with reason. Besides, Gou knew her brother had plenty of experience in body aches and pains. Still, the thought of him touching her skin… she wasn't sure if her heart was ready for that. But there was a plea in that stare of his that tugged at her heartstrings; a familiar feeling she'd often felt whenever her brother silently begged her for a kiss when their mom's back was turned.
As always, she could not help but give in to her own desire to meet him halfway.
Slowly, Gou raised her foot from the water and propped her calf atop the lip of the tub. Slim fingers grasped the heel of her foot and Gou jolted at her brother's warm touch as he gently pried the soaked bandages from her skin.
Her heart was now racing and she feared that Rin would be able to hear amid the silence between them. The caress on her ankle made Gou's breath freeze in her throat as she watched him apply the balm, the stroke of his fingers so tender on her wet skin. It roused certain feelings deep with Gou, reminding her of all those times they'd laid naked together, bodies flushed after the throes of passion, Rin dragging his fingers lightly across her flesh to connect the love bites he'd left all over her.
A hard shiver abruptly ran down her body, prompting Rin to glance at her sharply. "Does it hurt?"
"N-No," her voice was barely a whisper.
"... Good," he said, and then he pressed a kiss onto her ankle, never taking his eyes off Gou's.
She sucked in a breath, heart hammering loud in her chest like a thunder in prelude to a storm. Those eyes glimmered with that recognizable light of love, drawing her in like a moth to a flame.
"How about now?" Her brother whispered, sliding his lips above her ankle to kiss the supple skin there.
It seemed as if butterflies were fluttering wild in her belly, leaving Gou feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. Her face was too hot all of a sudden and, too lightheaded to speak, she shook her head instead.
Keeping his heavy gaze on her, Rin continued to trace the droplets on her calf with warm kisses that seemed to sear into her skin. His mouth moved higher, his hand on the heel of her foot, gingerly tugging her leg towards him as his kisses became firmer, more insistent.
"A-Aah…" Her sigh ended with the beginnings of a moan. "Nn..! D-Don't..."
"Why not?" Her brother murmured, the tip of his tongue darting out to pick up a drop of water sitting on her skin.
Gou bit her lip, unable to come up with any good reason that would deter him. Helpless, he continued to watch him, turning her concentration towards keeping her moans restrained, her desires restrained.
The slight stubble lining his jaw scraped lightly across her skin, a delicious contrast to his soft lips, making her core tighten from the thrill of it. A sigh escaped Gou, resounding within the small bathroom, and she watched Rin's eyes flutter shut as his kisses finally reached to her knee.
He stopped there, hot mouth brushing her knee to quietly ask her once more, "How about now? Does it hurt?"
"No," she breathed, gripping the edge of the bathtub in response to the heat building in her core. "It's warm…"
Very warm.
Rin leaned in and the familiar scent of pinewood with a trace of chlorine flooded her senses. But it was the affectionate touch of her brother's hand against her cheek that left Gou breathless and weak, tilting herself into his warmth.
"Yes, you are warm," he murmured.
The steam from the bath coated their faces in moisture and breathing it in seemed to incite the warmth in her belly into a flame. The bathroom seemed to be sweltering, strawberries and pinewood mingling in the hazy air. Dizzy, she reeled forward, instinctively seeking the safety of her brother's arms. But then warm lips slanted over hers and Gou automatically inhaled deeply, imprinting every sensation of the kiss into memory.
Despite the heat of the kiss, it also soothed the fire beginning to ache within her.
Such a familiar sensation and yet it felt like it'd been forever since she had felt this way even though she wasn't entirely sure of what was happening..
She shuddered in delight, pressing her lips further to Rin's in a frenzied manner as she felt herself become woozier and woozier. They seemed to struggle against each other, the both of them trying to kiss harder than the other as if in a show of who was more desperate. But they were a pair of depraved siblings and a kiss was merely the ignition.
The tip of his tongue traced the seam of her mouth and, without thought, she gave permission by opening herself to him. Rin leaned further into the tub and the sound of water sloshing over the sides echoed in the hot bathroom as he deepened the kiss, drawing out a small moan from her. Hearing this salacious sound encouraged Rin to pull himself closer to her and Gou felt the water sway around her before firm hands fell to her shoulders as if to steady her. Instead, she let his hold guide her into him like they were a pair of magnets desperate to be together.
"Mmn…" She breathed into the kiss once more, feeling more at home like this than she had since Rin had left the house for university.
He pulled back and Gou was about to let out a low whine of protest when he pressed his forehead to hers and whispered, "I've missed you."
Me too, she tried to say. But before she could reply back, his mouth fell over hers again and she was all too willing to fall back into his kiss. Her core began to tingle with a certain urgency that she struggled to ignore, her patience wearing thin with each second his mouth remained on hers.
Onii-chan, she sighed inwardly.
His hands slid down her shoulders and Gou shivered when they dipped into the water where his fingers traced the slope of her back before he cupped her hips. Her eyes flew open upon realizing how close his hands were to her belly. Her belly where… she'd swelled… with their baby.
Rin must've noticed her suddenly stiffening against him because he pulled back, frowning in concern. The cold terror was plain on her face and his eyes flicked across her expression in search of what ailed her. "What's wrong?" he asked, and his frown deepened when he realized she was shaking like a leaf, the water rippling around her. "Gou, you're trembling," he said, raising a hand to tuck back a lock of hair clinging to her cheek.
But his other hand remained on her hip, thumb caressing the edge of her belly. And each time his thumb swept the soft skin there, Gou couldn't help but see her baby covered in blood, the memory of falling snow flashing in between the images. She could still remember the cold bite of the metal slipping in between her legs; the intrusion of it stealing away what remained of her lost love.
"Hey," his voice had deepened with serious urgency, "are you… bleeding?"
Snapping out of her thoughts, Gou turned to her brother who was now peering into the tub. Following his gaze, her heart stopped at the sight of the small cloud of pink tinging the space between her thighs. The bubbles would've blocked the blood between her legs had most of them not disappeared by now.
Horrified, Gou's hands flew into the water, splashing the bathwater everywhere in her attempt to hide herself from Rin. Her ribs ached with a sharp twinge, but her face was too frozen in a panic to wince.
"Don't look at me!" she screamed, face hot with shame and hurt now.
"But you're bleeding!" Rin argued, carefully grasping her knees in a weak attempt to spread her legs and see where she might be wounded.
She smacked his hands away. "I'm not! You're… You're just seeing things!"
Her brother went silent for too long a moment and Gou dared to glimpse his face, finding his expression hard and unreadable for the first time ever. The sharp angle of his jaw had tensed as he held his tongue for the moment. The silence between them was filled with the consistent drip-drops of the bathtub's leaking faucet.
Finally, Rin opened his mouth to speak, low but firmly. "Tell me the truth of the accident," he demanded. He sounded exactly the way a strict, older brother sounded when scolding his little sister.
The truth?
"I did tell you the truth," Gou said, glaring at the remaining bubbles she'd gathered around her. "I told you everything."
Everything he needed to know, at least.
Rin glanced to where she had tucked both hands under the fold of her knees and he seemed to grimace at the sight of it. Shaking his head, he said, "I know you, Gou, and I know that you're lying."
Keeping her expression neutral, she frantically wondered how in the world could he tell. What gave her away? She was sure that Sousuke would keep his lips sealed on the matter unless she explicitly gave her permission to tell Rin everything. But they'd discussed beforehand that everything Rin would know would depend on Gou solely as it was ultimately her decision to make.
"You can take your time and tell me only when you're ready," said her brother, brows furrowing with reluctance. "But when you do tell me, it needs to be the truth. The complete truth."
Her body curled up tighter and she glowered at her toes beneath the water. Hugging her knees closer to her chest, she repeated once more, "I told you everything already. It was my fault anyway," she mumbled, scratching at the healed scrape on her knee. Another reminder of her accident. "I was being stupid… 'cause I'm a stupid girl."
I'm a walking disaster, she thought, scratching her knee more harshly as if to punish herself.
A warm hand settled over her own, stopping Gou from picking at her knee scab. "You're not stupid," Rin said, and she raised her eyes to find her brother smiling softly at her, so sure of his own words. The tips of his ears began to burn a light pink as he spoke. "Gou, you are one of the most intelligent, ambitious, and hardworking people I know. If Pops were here, he'd be proud of you. I know he would… because I am."
Her eyes widened and she had to rip her gaze away from Rin in fear of letting him tear down all the walls she'd worked so hard to build up. Turning her face away, Gou chose to say nothing. How could she say anything in response to that? Damn him… for always knowing what to say to her when she needed it most. But now was not the time to open up and tell Rin everything.
It's too soon.
Onii-chan's acting like this towards me now but only because all he knows is that I had an accident. Right now, I'm his only concern, but… If I told him about our baby now, how would he react? Would he be mad of my carelessness? Would he be mad that I kept it a secret from him for so long? But most of all, she feared what he might think if he were to learn that it had been her fault that the baby had died.
Would he think she was a monster for even considering aborting his child without bothering to tell him? Had the accident made her even more of a monster?
It didn't matter.
Gou decided she was a monster either way. For having an incestuous relationship with her brother. For carrying his child and wanting to. And for causing that unborn child's death.
That's right. I am a monster…
"I'm willing to wait for you, you know that," Rin said. "I can wait for as long as it takes, Gou."
Yes, she did know that, but...
Silently, Gou pushed the hand on her knee aside and didn't bother to look at his response to her aloofness. A sigh of disappointment echoed in the bathroom and she heard the slosh of his hands withdrawing from the bathtub water, the water trickling from his forearms and down the sides of the tub. From the corner of her eye, she watched Rin shake his hands of the excess water, noting that his arms were soaked all the way up to his shoulder, his sleeves having darkened in color. The small jar of balm was set on the lip of the tub by her shoulder, easily within reach.
Wiping himself with a hand towel, Rin quietly cleared his throat and said, "There are fresh rolls of bandages in the cabinet at the sink. You, uh... take your time in here and I'll leave the door ajar for you. If there's anything you need, just call me…"
Before Gou could even nod, her brother was already walking out.
As soon as he left, a cold chill seemed to replace the warm presence that had been him. She shivered, finding herself suddenly cold despite the steam of the bathwater.
Rin stared at the full plates of food still sitting on the dinner table opposite where he sat with his own untouched food. The smell of soy sauce still lingered in the air; a telltale sign of the dishes he'd spent most of the afternoon cooking. Dishes that were some of Gou's favorites: shrimp tempura, soba noodles, and grilled chicken skewers that he'd made sure to season with the exact amount of salt Gou always nitpicked over.
Except his sister had never come down to eat.
She'd missed lunch earlier that day, and Rin thought it was because she wasn't in the mood for a full meal yet. So he'd knocked on her door to say that he was leaving a tray holding a bowl of light soup for her before retreating in his room where he could privately fret over her wellbeing. Two hours later, he'd popped his head out and saw the bowl of soup still sitting on the tray outside her door. When dinner time neared, he'd rolled his sleeves up and spent the next two hours cooking what favorite dishes of hers that he could afford to make with the ingredients left in their kitchen.
And then Rin knocked on her door again to announce that dinner was ready, and quickly darted back downstairs to await her at the table. Nerves had made his palms sweaty and, for some reason, he kept sweeping his hair back in a frantic effort to groom himself. Anything to keep his hands busy as the minutes ticked by. But then the clock continued to click in the silence of the room and, eventually, Rin found his nerves had died out, replaced by disappointment as he realized his sister wasn't coming down to eat dinner with him. At least, not with him around.
The pain of her injuries is probably making her grumpy, Rin tried to reason with himself. She just wants to rest; that's why she doesn't wanna eat. It can't be because of me… right?
He didn't know anymore. He'd thought that the argument they'd had on the phone upon him missing Christmas with her would've been long forgotten once they reunited. After all, it'd been months since they'd been together—of course Rin understood his sister's frustration when he didn't return home as promised. But it seemed that ever since his arrival, she felt the opposite of happy upon seeing him.
He felt… unwelcomed.
And to be rejected by the one person he considered his true home stung like a blade digging into his heart, the handle of the weapon held by none other than his own sister.
When an hour passed, he finally stood up to store the food in the fridge, his own appetite long gone now. Running a hand through his hair, Rin stared at the fridge now full of food. His eyes landed on the milk box in the corner and the picture of the dancing cow stirred old memories from his more innocent years of when he and Gou were still children. A time when they were still unburdened with lust and love for each other. Rin remembered how their mom would make Gou a warm glass of milk with a splash of honey back when his little sister still suffered from night terrors. Night terrors that had plagued her with a vengeance when their father died. He'd sometimes awaken to Gou's screams or cries and hold her tight while waiting for their mom to come in, drink in hand.
It always worked like a charm and his sister would soon fall back to a more peaceful sleep.
So Rin was confident when he knocked on Gou's door once more, entering with a warm glass of milk and honey in his hand as a peace offering.
"Hey," he said, ignoring the way his heart began to rapidly pound in his chest upon seeing his sister lying in her bed. She sat up as he moved closer to her, pulling the chair from her desk to sit at her side. "How are you feeling?"
"Fine…" She was eyeing his other hand too warily.
"I brought your pain meds. You're supposed to take it every four hours, but you missed the last one, so…" Her face was already scrunching up in disgust at the sight of the large white pill he set at the corner of the bedside table. Quickly, Rin gestured to the drink as well. "I, uh, brought your favorite too. I mean, when you were little, it was your favorite. Warm milk with honey? Mom used to make that all the time for you, remember that?"
Recognition passed through Gou's face as she gazed at the homely drink. "For my…"
"Your night terrors," Rin finished for her.
She gaped at him. "You… remember that?"
"'Course I do. I would climb into your bed almost every night and hold you as tight as I could until you stopped trembling and Mom came." He smiled at the fond memory, but then paused when he remembered that he had left Gou for Australia at some point later in their young lives. He'd left her to suffer in the night without the shelter of his embrace.
But I won't leave her alone this time, Rin thought. No, not this time.
"Thanks," Gou muttered, dipping her face down to hide her expression. But he'd caught the light pink dusting her cheeks and his lips began to tilt into a smile at that.
He sucked in a breath to calm himself from getting too excited. "Then you better take your medicine now before you go to sleep."
"Um… I'll take it later."
He glanced down at her hands, eyes narrowing when he noticed her hands hiding beneath the fold of her knees again. "Nice try."
Plush lips formed into a pout Rin was tempted to kiss away as she said, "The pill is too big for me to swallow down."
You had no problem giving me that blowjob though, he almost scoffed aloud. Instead, he said, "Do you want me to cut the pill in half for you then?"
That only prompted her upper lip to curl in revulsion. "Then the more I'll taste the nastiness!"
She's really trying to get out of taking her medicine. No surprise there. It was like this when she came down with a fever last time too. With a sigh, Rin grabbed the pill in one hand and the glass of milk in the other, holding both out to Gou who crinkled her nose in response. "I know you hate the taste of medicine, but I promise you that the milk and honey will disguise the flavor. It'll taste good, I swear!" But when she peered at the medicine with skepticism, Rin added, "Look, if you don't take this then your ribs are gonna hurt. And you sleep on your side, so if you wanna rest well tonight then you need to take your medicine."
"My ribs feel fine," she grumbled, crossing her arms.
Rin would've mistaken the action for stubbornness had he not noticed the way she kept her arms crossed loosely, protectively. Concern for his sister's wellbeing flooded him, flushing out whatever nervousness he'd had upon entering her room. He spoke sternly, as one would to a little sister when she's misbehaving. "Gou, take your medicine."
"I said I'd do it later!"
"I don't want later. I want right now."
"Or what?" She scowled at Rin, displeased by his sudden authoritarian attitude. "You gonna call Mom and tell on me?"
"We're not arguing on this. I said take your medicine."
"She's in New York—it's not like she can just come over and spank me if I don't obey! She can't do anything, and neither can you!"
His patience was wearing thin now. Rin held the pill out to her, half-tempted to just push it into Gou's mouth, but he knew she would just spit it out just as quickly. "Do you want to be spanked?"
Because he would put her over his knee and spank Gou's ass until she was in tears and willing to take her medicine if that was what it would take. He couldn't even remember the last time she'd been disciplined like that.
"Is that what brothers do to their little sisters?" She sneered at him.
"Do not make me spank you," he raised a finger to her in warning, frustrated by her childish attitude and the way she'd been treating him since the hospital. "I'm serious, Gou. Now take your fucking medicine."
She frowned at him. "Get out of my room."
"Not until I see you swallow this fucking pill down," said Rin, jutting his hand out to her insistently.
"No!" She swatted his hand away.
Any patience he had left was destroyed by that single action. His annoyance flared, and he snapped, popping the pill into his mouth and taking a mouthful of the honeyed milk in a second.
"H-Huh?" Climbing atop of her, Rin watched how his sister's eyes went wide like saucers as she recognized the familiarity of this situation. "Wait—mmph!"
Rin slanted his lips over Gou's, his ire spiking when he found that she'd pressed her lips into a hard line of resistance. She'd sealed her mouth shut, desperate to keep that pill from slipping in.
He didn't mean to be this rough with her, but she was really starting to push his buttons and now wasn't the time to please her every childish whim. This sudden rebellious streak she'd gained distraught Rin, but her accident was no excuse for him to give her whatever she wanted just because she wanted it.
Screw this!
He reached across her face to pinch her nose. Gou made a noise of protest against his mouth, delicate fists smacking his shoulders until her lack of oxygen weakened her. Finally, she opened her mouth and Rin slipped his tongue in, carrying the pill onto hers.
"Mmn… Mmph!" she whined in defiance, hands fisting onto the front of his shirt and bunching the dark material in her tight grip.
But Rin kept his mouth on hers, observing his sister squeeze her eyes shut out of spite. He heard her take a large gulp, and a second one soon after. Slipping his tongue back into Gou's mouth, he ran it across her own tongue, tasting the creamy remnants of the milk and traces of honey, making sure she had swallowed the pill properly.
Satisfied, Rin released her and she immediately sucked in a deep breath. Her heavy pants fanned across his mouth and he watched Gou open her eyes, lowering a bleary-eyed gaze onto him.
"This is your punishment," he growled against her lips, letting his sister take the moment to catch her breath, her chest rising and falling against him.
"You're… so cruel," she whimpered.
Those words caught Rin off guard and he reeled back slightly, taking in the way he had her pressed down against the bed, caged in his arms. White drops of milk coated her rosy lips and he studied the streams of milk that had spilled out from the corners of her mouth, staining her flushed cheeks.
Leaning in, Rin gave his sister another kiss on the lips, this one far more gentle and kind as an apology for the way he'd forced her so roughly to take the medicine. Though she seemed hesitant, Gou didn't fight him this time, and he took that as a good sign.
"Did it taste good?" He broke away to ask, giving her another breather. "The milk? I made it for you… Did you like it?"
"... Y-Yes," she seemed shy to admit it. "Mmn!"
He tilted her chin up, deepening the kiss. Her hands gripped his shirt tightly, seemingly pulling him towards her now.
"N-No!" She turned her face aside to break from the kiss. "Wait!"
"I've waited so long already," Rin murmured, peppering light kisses across her cheek.
"Wa—mnn!" He interrupted her with another kiss just as hungry as the last one. The floral notes of the honey had sweetened her lips like glazed candy, tempting Rin to consume her whole.
His core tightened with the heat of arousal, blood rushing South with an urgency he could no longer control. Just her scent of strawberries was enough to drive him wild with thoughts of her filling his head, but now she tasted like honey and milk too. And at the end of the day, Rin, too, was a man with needs and wants.
Eyeing her exposed shoulder, he gripped the neckline of the large sweater she'd put on, faintly realizing it was actually his sweater which she'd somehow stolen from him without his knowledge. Before Gou could make any move to stop him, Rin yanked down the neckline hard. His sister squeaked in surprise as her breasts spilled out over the collar, jiggling from the aggressive action.
"What—ahn!" She threw her head back, mouth dropping open for a moan the instant Rin's mouth fell on one of her breasts.
When? When was the last time he'd had her like this? Tasted her lips? Her skin? When was the last time he'd heard her moan with such depravity—enough to match his?
Too long, Rin thought, swirling his tongue around her areola. His other hand squeezed her free breast appreciatively, letting the plump flesh bulge between slim fingers.
"O-Onii… chan!" Gou cried out, small fingers weakly tugging on his hair.
Ah, she finally calls for me.
Happiness began to spark in his gut, fanning the flames of desire burning within him.
"Aah! Onii—ah! W-Wait!"
But he'd waited so long already, and Gou had tested his patience. He was a fallible man, Rin knew that, but he wasn't sorry that he wanted her so badly.
He bit down lightly onto the rosy tip of her breast, tugging fervently at the nipple captured between his teeth and listening to his sister's cries rise in pitch. He let go, licking the aching tip apologetically. The flat of his tongue ran across the tightened bud a few times before Rin burrowed his mouth to it once more, hungry for the luscious plump curves of her breast.
A rush of sweetness abruptly spilled into his mouth, prompting Rin to suck harder, more eagerly. He groaned against her tit, finding the sweetness flooding his mouth far more delicious than any warm glass of milk with honey.
Ah, she's leaking breastmilk again...
He tweaked the nipple of her other breast, coating his fingertips with that same thin white fluid.
"Stop," Gou moaned weakly, "th-that doesn't belong to you!"
But Rin merely nipped her breast before switching to the other one, sucking the erect breast tip into his starved mouth and letting the gentle leak quench his thirst, though it hardly quelled his lust.
"Onii—hyah! A-Ah! Please!"
But it was difficult to hear Gou or want to release her when he was drawing out such beautiful sounds from her mouth. A wanton music that echoed with the notes of an old song they'd once produced together many times before in between the sheets of the bed. A song of passion, yearning, and a pure love that filled the depths of his heart.
"Aahn! Aah… pl-please...!" his sister begged him whilst he riddled her breasts with love bites and kisses. "Onii—Aahn! No, w-wait... Aahn!"
How much longer do you plan to make me wait?
He felt as if he'd been waiting for her all his life.
No, even longer than that.
I can't wait anymore.
Keeping his mouth on her breast, Rin slid his hands down her arms with the intention to pull that sweater completely off so that he may appreciate Gou in her naked entirety. His fingertips brushed through thick ruby locks of hair and his groin flooded with excitement when he felt her shiver slightly from his touch.
"D-Don't!" Gou said, voice trembling along with the rest of her body. "Onii-chan!"
That's right, Gou. Keep calling out to me. Keep calling out for your Onii-chan.
His cock twitched with the thrill of returning home to the woman who had always received it with a warm welcome. Just remembering Gou's tight insides made his cock swell with furor, straining against the confines of his jeans.
Shit, but Gou is no longer on birth control… She already missed yesterday and today.
And they'd run out of condoms too.
Ah, fuck me, Rin inwardly cursed himself. But… I want to put it in her.
He played with her breasts as he contemplated, squeezing and gripping the mounds, sometimes pinching and tugging her nipples while listening to what kind of moans he could draw out from Gou with just his hands. He didn't think it was a good idea for Gou to take a morning-after pill when she was already on other medications, but...
But I want to cum inside her too… It's all right, isn't it? Just this once…
Just one time, Rin promised. He would even pull out if she didn't want him to shoot it inside her.
The problem was that he did though. He wanted to shoot months' worth of cum inside Gou—those months that they'd spent apart, unable to feel each other's touches. Fuck, Rin knew he should be ashamed for acting in such a debauched manner towards the one girl he was supposed to cherish and protect for his whole life, but honestly… he wasn't sorry for feeling this way towards her at all.
I really want to cum inside her… I can, can't I? Rin knew his sister would take in every last drop of his seed.
Just once. He wanted to have her like a lover just once. No protection, no pill, no contraception—nothing.
He wanted to be a proper lover to her without any fear.
But would it make any difference? Even after just one time, that fear would always remain. It wasn't just the risk of impregnating his sister. He would always have to be afraid of people finding out about their relationship. He would always have to worry that someone might take Gou away from him for her own good someday.
No… Panic strummed at his heartstrings, leaving him with a different ache in his chest he did not welcome.
I don't want that...
I don't want anyone to take Gou away from me!
"Ah—ouch! You're hurting me!"
Her pained voice cut across his thoughts and Rin glanced down where his hands still gripped her breasts, but the heels of his palms were pressing down on her ribs. He retreated instantly, eyes widening in horror at the discoloration of the skin. Her ribs had originally been bruised lightly, but now the color had deepened slightly from the pressure of his hands.
"I... Shit, I'm so sorry, Gou!" Rin looked to her face which was filled with nothing but pain.
It was obvious with the way she stared at him, garnet eyes bright with tears that now ran down pale cheeks. She was gritting her teeth and Rin didn't know if it was to hold back words of anger and spite or if it was just in response to the pain she must've been.
Sweeping his gaze down, his stomach dropped as he noticed the way her body had curled up just like back in the bathroom. It looked as if she was trying to protect herself from… him.
I… hurt her…
"I'm so sorry," he whispered.
I hurt… my little sister…
Rin raised his hands, scrutinizing them like they were weapons.
I hurt Gou…
His stomach seemed to be turning over, ice-cold dread sucking out whatever warmth had simmered in his gut.
"I-I'm so sorry," he repeated, watching his hands tremble in sheer terror of himself.
Unable to bear the way his sister looked at him, Rin ran. Out of her room and away from Gou.
What the fuck did I do? I hurt her! I hurt Gou!
His thoughts raced wild, as he continued to run where his feet carried him. Down the stairs. Out of the house. He picked up the pace, hoping to outrun the nightmare he'd seemingly been in. But Gou's cry of agony echoed in his ears, haunting Rin as his heart pounded in fear. He'd never heard such an awful sound come from his own sister. An awful, painful sound that he had forced from her delicate lips.
It sickened him, her cry of pain.
It sickened Rin to think that he'd done that to her.
The way she'd flinched under his touch… How her voice had been heavy with misery and anguish instead of pleasure…
'You're hurting me!'
It… It almost sounds like… like I was raping Gou…
His stomach twisted viciously and Rin fell to his knees, gagging. Nausea had slammed into his gut like a train wreck, but there was nothing to vomit. So he remained hunched over by the sidewalk, heaving nothing out until the urge eventually subsided.
When he stood back up, he realized the snow had soaked into the shirt he wore, numbing him down to his bones. Holding back a shiver, Rin shuffled his way to the closest local pharmacy store in search of shelter from the cold. He didn't want to go back inside that house yet, afraid of what Gou might say to him upon his return… or if she would even say anything to him at all. He wasn't sure which would be worse.
Still, it wasn't his thing to remain idle and his body already ached to move with purpose. Sighing in exhaustion, Rin took his time moving up and down the aisles, perusing the selection of food brands, toys, leftover Christmas decorations. It seemed to calm him down after a while. He was about to enter the next aisle when he peeked a shelf of little jars, stopping him in his tracks. Rin didn't know why, but the sight of the various jars of baby food, the colorful packaging of diapers, and the assortment of toys made his body lock up. But it was the light, fresh scent of baby wipes—or was it the baby powder?—that prompted him to tear his eyes away from the images of giggling babies and skip onto the next aisle.
Ah, medicine.
Just looking at the products of muscle relief patches was enough to alleviate the ache in Rin's chest. He picked up a particular box of a brand he remembered using often during his high school days, studying the common packaging with mild interest before sweeping his eyes further down the aisle.
Suddenly, a feeling of discomfort began to trickle down his neck like cold sweat. He tried to ignore the feeling that he was being watched, choosing to stare hard at the other items on the shelf instead of worrying over something insignificant. Reaching over, Rin picked up a box of pain relievers, noting that they were capsules and not the pills Gou so viciously loathed.
Hm, maybe she would like these better?
Well, he couldn't do much about the rancid taste of medicine, but at least a capsule form would make it easier for his sister to take it.
From the corner of his eye, Rin noticed that the figure had moved closer to him. Scratching his cheek, he sauntered further down the aisle and further away from the woman who'd been watching him for a bit too long now.
Hm, I should've worn my hat.
Or do I know her? Was she a former classmate of mine maybe? Was that why she kept looking at him?
Out of curiosity, Rin slowly slid his gaze towards the figure, jolting when their eyes accidentally locked together. Dark hair, slim build, blushing face… I don't know her at all!
He instantly flicked his gaze back to the shelf of products before him, pretending as if he hadn't just caught her ogling him. It was already awkward before they'd looked at each other, but now he just made it obvious that he was aware of what she was doing.
She seems to be a high schooler… Since Samezuka was an all-boys high school, the girl had to be from Iwatobi. Rin faintly wondered if she was a classmate of Gou's. Still, the way she was looking at him was all too awkward and uncomfortable. Although he didn't think that made her a crazy stalker fan… for now, at least.
Better to just ignore her, Rin decided. No harm in watching people... even if it's a 'lil creepy.
His eyes continued to roam across the products organized on the shelves, Gou's pain relievers in his hand. Finally reaching the end of the aisle, he stopped when the products changed from medicine and pain relief items to… The bolded words he saw made Rin's breath catch in his throat.
'PLEASURE'
'ULTRA THIN'
'ULTRA-RIBBED'
'DOUBLE-ECSTASY'
He gulped, the nausea returning full force now as memories of the past week resurfaced without warning.
Toned legs locked tight around Rin's waist, pulling him deeper. The smack of wet skin resounded sharply as Ami urged his hips to move faster. "Ah, fuck! Fuck yes, Rin! Aah! Ah—that's it! Fuck me like an animal!'
Her walls squeezed down tight on his cock with a vengeance as he continued to pound her. Slick wet heat wrapped all around him, the mixture of their body fluids making it easier for Rin to slide deep inside Ami with a sharp snap of his hips despite her body's vice-like grip on his cock.
She had his hand captive in hers, guiding his fingers on her clit as they both rubbed the swollen nub together. Caramel eyes rolled back, and he watched Ami suddenly arch her back, the muscles of her pussy clenching frantically around him in climax.
"Sh-Shit!" His own body gave in, surrendering to the sexual stimulation her tight warmth gave him.
He fisted the sheets, groaning as quietly as he could as soon as the hot cum burst from his tip. His penis swelled with a primal need, throbbing hot and steady as waves of his semen gushed into Ami. She crooned beneath him, digging her heels into the small of his back so that their hips were pressed almost painfully together.
"That's it, Rin," Ami sighed, rubbing her belly as she gazed up at him with a certain reverence. "Nnn, yes... Shoot it all out inside me…"
He finished with shame and disgust, just like the last time and every time before that. And when she finally permitted him to pull out of her, his cock slipping out of her slippery folds with a vulgar squelch, Rin could not bear to look at his own work. He knew it would look the same as it did the first time he'd finished fucking her.
The heady stench of hours of sex permeated the air and Rin had no choice but to breathe it all in as he forced his pants to steady into paced breaths.
Ami stared up at him, her face flushed but sated for the time being. She reached up, dragging her manicured fingers possessively across his lips, "You're still scared of getting me pregnant. I told you we don't need a condom…"
"Accidents can happen," Rin muttered, turning his attention to the bedside table in search of some tissue to wipe his cock with. "I told you I don't need a baby I never asked for. So your word better be fucking worth it."
She tilted her head, studying him. "So... that means you would stay and take care of me if you ever do get me pregnant. You'd take responsibility, regardless of whether you wanted my baby or not. That's just who you are..." she bit back an amused grin. "How chivalrous... But you must be so desperate to save yourself for this girl if you're that afraid of accidentally impregnating another."
He said nothing, but from the corner of his eye, Rin caught Ami smiling at him until she suddenly winced, her manicured hands grasping the corner of the sheets. She spread her legs further and gazed down where a large gob of thick cum was squeezing its way out from between her folds.
"I never use condoms," Ami purred, reaching down to dip a finger into herself. "It dulls things. Real sex should be primal and raw… ending with the man pouring every last drop of his seed inside the girl. Don't you think so? Oh, I know you do," she giggled. But Rin was too distracted by the sticky, wet sound of her fingers stirring up the load of cum in her pussy, her folds decorated with the excess stuff like a thick web. She lifted a hand to her mouth, sucking the semen clean off her fingers while eyeing Rin. "Mmm, I love a good creampie, and you deliver the best I've ever had. Thanks for the hot meal."
"I'm just saying," Rin clenched his jaw, rage burning in him at the lack of a tissue box, "things would be less messy if we just used a condom."
"But I love a good mess," Ami moaned slightly as she reached between her legs to spread her folds apart, letting his cum spill out in a thick, steady white stream. "Ah, I like the feeling of that hot gooey stuff leaking out of me. Feels almost as good as getting cummed inside."
"Well, I don't like feeling messy," he groused.
"What, you need a tissue?" She sat up, her doe brown eyes bright with mischief. "You don't need a condom to keep things clean, Rin. Here, I'll clean you up."
She grabbed his cock, fisting him firmly enough to make sure he did not move away. Rin grunted, his heart sinking with defeat as he watched her hunch over and wrap her lips around his tip, tongue swirling the swollen head before she leaned in to slip the rest of his cock into her mouth.
"Ghh! Nngh…" Rin tried to stay quiet. To not give in. To keep on fighting. But it was hard to think straight and control himself when his mind went blank with pleasure once more, the sound of slurps and wet kisses filling his ears.
It felt like forever when he finally came, his seed spurting hard into the back of Ami's throat. She whimpered against his pelvis, digging her sharp nails into the firm cheeks of Rin's ass as she struggled to swallow his cum. Gulp after gulp after gulp until she mercifully pulled back, her lips glossy with his semen instead of her usual lip gloss.
"Mmm, yum! … See?" Ami hummed, licking the corner of her mouth to pick up a stray drop of cum. "I told you we don't need condoms."
Rin collapsed to the linoleum floor of the pharmacy store, dizzy and struggling to breathe. His head was so light, his heart seemingly beating like thunder in his ears. He was trembling, skin so clammy with ice-cold sweat as if he'd stayed out under the snow for too long.
Can't breathe! Am I… dying?
It was as if he'd been consumed by fear entirely, his body a slave to this demon.
I can't… can't breathe!
He started gasping, drawing in large pulls of breath.
"Um, e-excuse me, but you dropped this?" Somebody touched his bicep and the unexpected touch on his bare skin left Rin feeling like a monster had crept in from behind to attack his most vulnerable body parts.
He swiveled, blindly smacking the person's hand away—anything to keep her hands off him. "Don't fucking touch me!" Rin roared at his unknown assailant.
He froze, staring at the girl who'd been stalking him through the aisles. She stared back at him, the shy blush on her cheeks replaced with embarrassment now as she fumbled with Gou's box of pain relievers that he'd dropped. "I-I'm sorry! It's just, um… I'm a huge fan of yours and I didn't mean to spy, b-but I saw you were alone and was wondering if you'd like to get some.. some coffee with me s-sometime? That's all!" She sputtered, eyes flitting everywhere but Rin's face. "Ah, it-it doesn't have to be a date! I... I just…"
"You just what?" He snapped at her. "You wanna fuck me?"
"H-Huh?" Her entire face bloomed a tomato red at the abrupt accusation.
"You don't even know who I am," Rin snarled, that monster of fear twisting into a beast of anger now. "You know what my name is and what I look like, but that's all I am to you! You're not a fan of me… you're a fan of what I am to you. So what'll it take for you to leave me alone, huh? Do I have to fuck you too?! Is that what you want?!"
"What's going on here?" An elderly man wearing an employee smock appeared behind the girl's shoulder, squinting at the pair of customers through his prescription lenses. "You kids all right?"
"Yeah," Rin muttered, glowering at the girl who had lowered her face in shame. "Everything's fucking fine."
He turned and left, leaving the frightened girl behind and with Gou's capsules.
Tucking both hands into the pockets of his jeans, Rin trekked through the snow. He should've been shivering from the cold, but somehow, he couldn't feel anything anymore.
He felt numb to it all.
A/N: Since this was Gou's first pregnancy, her belly isn't so obviously swollen that you would be able to easily tell she's pregnant just by looking at her. This is because her uterus is stretching for the first time to occupy the baby. Typically, a woman's baby bump is bigger and more obvious in the 2nd pregnancy because the 1st pregnancy had already stretched her uterus. If you compare the image of a 5-months baby bump of a woman who is pregnant for the FIRST time with the image of a 5-months baby bump of a woman who is pregnant for the SECOND time, the difference is very clear. So Gou's baby bump isn't so obvious to Rin, especially because she's wearing a large baggy sweater. If she were to stand in front of him completely naked then he would notice that she's (or WAS) pregnant.