Disclaimer: The same as the previous chapters.
Chapter 45
Propping himself on his elbow, Severus watched his wife's eyes follow his moments minutely. He waited for them to come back and rest on his face and began," The incident at the Shrieking Shack had shaken me up badly. For days and nights put together, I couldn't manage to close my eyes or say a word. Poppy was always there, beside me, helping me with things. My roommates could not access my books. I had been a magnet for pranks since the day I set foot in this castle wearing ill-fitting school uniforms, which did not go well with my affluent housemates. I took precautions in the very beginning to secure the little I had. It was Narcissa Black who had taken the initiative to help me through the period I had to spend in the Hospital Wing. Though she always kept her distance."
"She had appointed Regulus Black, her cousin to get me my books and help me with the class lessons, which he later confessed were handed over to him by both Lily and Remus Lupin. To this day, I never could bring myself to ask what made this pack exist in the first place. But, I am thankful that I did. A week later, when I could visit the bathroom unassisted, Regulus brought in two letters, along with the lessons of the day. One was from Lily and the other from Narcissa."
Hermione thought better, she turned on her stomach and propped her head on her palms and asked," What did those letters say?"
Looking back at her he replied," Nothing much. Lily had written, 'Remus says sorry.' And Narcissa wrote,' You have more friends to count on if you quit looking over your shoulders and start paying attention to your own housemates." That afternoon I was summoned into the headmaster's office and the four Marauders were present along with our head of the houses. Poppy had tagged along with me and insisted on being present on my behalf. You can say, the whole thing was already decided upon. Dumbledore wouldn't part with the boys and I was to keep my mouth shut. I didn't look up from my chair throughout the meeting. But that meeting had its own perks."
His young wife looked distressed," Perks! They planned to murder you, well, both Sirius, Harry's Dad and Pettigrew planned, but that is beside the point. It was contemplated attempt to murder and they get to roam free! Preposterous!" she had screamed at the end of her rant. Snape couldn't help himself. He leaned forward and captured her pouting lips to steal a kiss. When he let her go, she looked deliciously dazed and he smirked happily.
"Well, thank you for standing up for me, Madam Snape. I haven't seen many people doing that for me." her blush had quenched his thirst enough to make him continue. "Remus was determined to seek me out. First, he would try to speak to me. Then he would slip notes into my books. Then one day, he discovered my acute interest in studies of Magical creatures."
Picking up the end of one of her honeydew bushy strands, he twirled it within his fingers," He would stalk me in the library. Read in when I was there, which was actually most of our free time. We would cross our ways through the long rows of bookshelves. Most of those occasions, he would intentionally shove his shoulders into me, and drop a note. At times, my books would fall off. I could have reacted. But I couldn't. I was afraid of him. His notes would vary. Sometimes it would be a hint of a solution to a problem or just a little sneaky information of several of Potter and Black's weaknesses. That day, it happened in the same way. He bumped against me, made my books fall and scatter about, Peter was a couple of steps ahead of me, who sniggered and rushed away, maybe to inform the other two. Seeing the coast clear, Lupin hunched down beside me, Mumbling, 'I am so sorry', again and again, till his eyes caught the title of one of the books, which carried the legal cases documented against magical creatures. He looked back at me, swallowing hard, turning white as a sheet. I mumbled back dispassionately," I have given my word." But pushed him away, determined to return one of his entire notes. I knew the other Slytherins were watching us from somewhere around, so I walked away without a backward glance. You can say, that was the beginning of our mutual understanding."
Playing with the end of the duvet, Hermione couldn't stop herself," What was that perk you spoke about?" Severus replied, grinning ear to ear," I discovered I had natural abilities to occlude because Dumbledore did not succeed in seeing the most of the horrors I witnessed that night. I mean he heard Lupin's angry growls and he heard James screaming for me. But he did not hear my thoughts. And also I didn't blurt out much even when offered those horrid lemon drops, which I knew were laced with some truth serum. And, on my next birthday, though I didn't get anything from Lily, because our friendship had already fallen apart, I got a precious copy on Animagus Theory, with a small parchment tucked inside its cover. It had a full moon with fluffy clouds hastily drawn over it."
"Moon, Moony, that was Professor Lupin alias, he gave you a book. A book." she sat up straighter beaming at him. Severus stretched his hand till his fingers reached his bedside table and accioed a book out of it, making it land in Hermione's waiting hands. She flipped over the cover when he nodded his assent and looked back at him while running her fingers over the small drawing on the note. "He wanted you to learn animagus. That is like taking a step forward to being friends."
He laughed," I took years to come to that conclusion. I read it thinking it was from the Black family library. Because it looked like that, complete with the Black crest and stamp. I felt glad that Regulus had brought it for me. Because, it was him, who actually handed it over to me. I thought it was Narcissa who had sent it to me. Because, during that term, Lucius was sorting my presence more than ever, and she was engaged to him, according to the rumour of the common room."
She narrowed her brows, imagining the late Malfoy matriarch, and shrugged her shoulders," She was crafty, but what interest would she have in planting herself in your matters and turning herself as a communicator between Lupin and You, well, of course, she made sure no one would link it to her, she employed the younger Black to do all the running." Snape had shrugged his shoulders and laughed again, this time a little louder when his wife looked absolutely rattled," which part of it was funny! Tell me!"
He managed to calm down and surrendered," Nothing, it is one thing to listen to you speak, and then it is entirely another thing to hear those thoughts racing behind every single word you say." She ducked her head and then looked back at him smiling," you should laugh often, it erases away those thousand worry lines peppering your face." Tugging her close to his face, he whispered huskily," Madam Snape, I am giving you a serious task now, 'make me laugh as often as you wish." He had allowed her to settle against him, and then added," Though I began reading those books for an entirely different reason." He felt her mumble against his chest," what was that initial reason?"
Running his tongue over his crooked teeth, he whispered," To be prepared. I knew Dumbledore would never come to my aid. And if the Headmaster was washing his hands off the matter, the whole school would happily look the other way and let me die. I thought hard, I didn't want to die. I am a Snape but I am also the last of what is left of the Prince. I dreaded that Sirius would once again try to hurt me, he was reckless and didn't believe in planning his moves. It was always Potter who did that. Remus was the reluctant brain of the team."
Rubbing her soft hand over his chest, she whispered," You were afraid, he might stage the whole thing again and make you stumble right in front of a changed Lupin." His witch had hugged him tight and cried softly. At length, she rose to rest her chin over him and looked back to say," I am sorry if that brought more miserable memories," then her eyes narrowed, and she began trailing her fingers over his sides. Snape had caught them deftly and rolled over, trapping her below him and holding her arms above. His witch had gifted him with peals of laughter that soothed his aching heart.
Looking at her sardonically, he drawled," You have had the luxury to laugh at my expense a lot many times today, Madam Snape. I think it is enough for a day…" She protested," But I was just going to tickle you to make YOU laugh." Shaking his head, he let her go and laid down sideways, facing her. "Has it escaped your notice..." She countered, tracing his dimple over his cheek,' that you can smile as well, I mean really, actually, genuinely smile? No."
He watched her face grow solemn. And a second later, she had cornered him with a very painful question," I wanted to ask this before, umm, when did you discover the guest quarters and why was Pin cleaning it up. We were not aware that Professor McGonagall was returning today itself, were we?"
He had to look away from her honest eyes. Rubbing his face with both of his hands, he decided to look up at the glass ceiling instead. Making his voice sound as emotionless as possible he replied," I had asked Pin to prepare it for you. I didn't expect this to happen…" waving his hand in between both of them with effect.
Her eyes traced his tightened face, but she had to ask before burning down another bridge tonight," You loved Harry's Mum, didn't you? It was not just friendship it was pure love, right?" She watched his Adam's apple bob a couple of times, then he was looking straight into her eyes, a challenge etched in those obsidian eyes," Yes, not in any way lesser than you love Late Mr. Ronald Weasley."
To save her from a guilty trip down her own memory lane, he gathered her back into his arms and rubbed her arm gently. He didn't care if she stiffened at his touch, he just continued to offer her comfort in the only way he had learned in the last few hours.
His voice rumbled around them over the crackling fireplace," I don't know any better than you do Hermione, what we both are exactly doing right now. I never had long casual conversations with anyone apart from Albus and Minerva. Well, we can include Filius on that list. I don't know where we are standing at the moment in this relationship. I will give you the full rein to decide its course. But, remember this, I am a possessive man, because I had little to hold on to in my life. I never had the luxury to take control of it either. And never think that I will consider you as a property as the Purebloods would like to put it. You are in every way an extension to my being."
Hermione had burst into fresh tears and finally dozed off in her husband's arms. But Snape continued to rub her arm in smooth circles and watched the bottom of the lake, till the fire died at the fireplace and the room drenched itself with deep green hues. It seemed to him, he had traveled through time in the last two days. He couldn't even thank Minerva or his wife. Because the situation in which they had got married did not call for it. Severus Snape did not thank people at the drop of a hat.
When he finally closed his eyes, feeling thoroughly relaxed, he thought he could take Hermione to a Hogsmeade trip and let her buy something for herself. Minerva had been thoughtful enough to give both of them the bare necessities to a life together packed up in a gift box. But the witch snuggled in his arms was more comfortable in muggle clothes, and he would not take that freedom away from her.