Day 77

"Why do you think you and I didn't get along?" Andrea broke the silence when we ate quietly siting on the hood of the car. It was a valid question.

"We're just very different," was all I answered.

"You really think so?"

"Yeah."

"But you don't even know my story. Just like I don't know yours."

"You know a bit of mine," I told her and, when she looked confused at me, I moved on. "That night at the camp… With Amy and the wine…"

She took a breath as if hearing her sister's name felt like a punch in the stomach. "Yeah… That part."

"That part… That part tells a lot about me," but I thought a bit more about it. "But it's not… I don't know, I always felt like you were always trying too hard. I wondered a few times why was that."

"What did I seem to be trying too hard?"

"To be strong. To be independent, feminist, to rub in the men's faces that you were just as good as them. You didn't need to try that hard to show it… You already were, I could see it, but you kept trying to make it very clear to everyone."

"I don't know if I know how to act any other way…"

"Why's that?"

She thought for a moment before saying "My father… He was very, uh… Demanding. Rigorous, critical. He was always finding my mistakes, my weaknesses, and my mom's… I guess instead of believing him and putting myself down as well, I wanted to prove him wrong. Everything I did was always to show him that he was wrong."

I had judged Andrea, not ever stopping to think that her personality that I disliked would have come from something. Everyone has a history and their own wounds and they all make a person what they are. I didn't dislike her anymore. Andrea had shot Daryl in an unconscious attempt to prove do Dale, a father figure, and probably Shane too, that she was capable of doing it. She was not right and it was no excuse, but I could understand it a bit better now.

We talked as we followed road signs. On pointed to a church somewhere in a community and we followed it, talking a side road. Even only three months with no care this road already had overgrown on all the sides, and it made me uneasy. Walkers could be hiding on the bushes, so I had my axe ready. We needed to find Andrea a weapon urgently. Since this morning she'd been carrying a spike that we thought would be strong enough, but it was not ideal. And we needed food, water, and a car. And to find our group. To find Daryl.

Oh, Daryl…

"You 'n I… We're it."

The bushes shook right on our left side removing me abruptly form the memories. As if they'd been there all the time, just waiting for us to get close enough as if they could think, a small herd of walkers came out, at least ten of them. Surprised, Andrea and I stumbled a bit and ran ahead on the road, but from the same bushes ahead of us, more of them came out, so we turned to go back were we'd come from, but the first part of them had closed the road behind us. So I grabbed Andrea, and she grabbed me, and we ran into the woods on our side, straight into the bushes, All I hoped is that there weren't more in there. I felt something cut my arm and still ran, entering the sparse patch of woods there.

Goddam big herd. They'd been dormant there and our presence woke them up and now they were coming and I did not get scared, I got fucking furious. This again, seriously? Running through the woods with walkers behind me and nowhere to go? No fucking way.

"That tree!" I shouted at Andrea over the walkers' growls. "Climb up!"

It was a huge oak, royally standing there, dwarfing all the other trees around. Thick, strong branches that seemed easy to climb. Well, at least for me, I was used to that stuff, so I let Andrea go first, positioning my hands to give her foot a shove up. She groaned in the effort to go up but was out of the ground in seconds and kept on. I looked around before going up and they were there, at least tree closer and this crowd of dead behind them. Axe in hand, I looked up at Andrea who was just settling on a higher branch, safe, looking down terrified at me. I let the axe fall against the oak roots, I knew the walkers wouldn't be taking it, obviously, took a few steps back for impulse and ran, climbing over the tree. It would have been a much easier movement just months ago without the baby bump and not being so hurt and tired, but I did the job. In seconds I was sitting with Andrea, the walkers on the ground confused, looking around and passing the tree following nothing. Thanks to fuck they were not smart at all.

"What now?" Andrea whispered. We were sitting straddling the branch face to face, pretty close to each other. I was glad she'd learned not to be loud. Finally.

"Now we wait. They'll pass."

"We won't be able to hold this position much longer."

She was right. We'd have to hold upright, holding on only to the branch we were sitting in.

"Okay, rest your back against the trunk," I whispered to her pointing to the tree with my chin. She was about four feet away from it. I offered her a hand to steady her. "Slide back, careful."

Nodding demonstrating just how nervous she was, she took my hand while I still held myself to the branch with the other and started wiggling her hips backwards, sliding really slowly, afraid she'd tumble sideways. I stretched myself forward to keep her hand safe in mine, until her back finally rested against the trunk. She breathed. I asked if she was alright with thumbs up gesture and she nodded.

Now I had to get a better position, and for that I'd need to go to another branch, the best option was one above us and slightly to the left. The herd under us lifted dust and a terrible stench, but I tried to ignore it. Had to ignore the fact that if I fell I'd have absolutely no chance. No chance to survive, for by boy to survive, to lead Andrea to safety, for me to find the group, to see Daryl again.

But well, no pressure!

I slid towards Andrea and she helped me on the last few inches as we sat nearly chest to chest, and then using the tree trunk and her shoulders as leverage, I carefully stood up.

"Oh god, careful!" Andrea whispered in terror from beneath me.

I said nothing, just focused in reaching up to a thinner yet stiff branch above my head, needing to get on my tiptoes to be able to get a good grip. Trusting it, I eyed the larger branch that was my goal, calculated, took a deep breath and jumped, my hands firm on the branch as I swung my whole body. I heard Andrea whimper in trepidation when my feet did not reach where they were supposed to and I hang there by my hands, whimpering. I was breathing hard through my teeth, my arms burning at my own weight, nothing under my feet except for the herd. Concentrating, I swung my body back once again, taking a stronger impulse than before, and reached it. I hugged the branch with my legs and stopped for a moment, breathing, and then gave the branch I was holding a strong shove and let go, throwing my upper body over the large one. I hugged it with arms and legs, my face turned to Andrea and stayed like that for a moment, my strong breath puffing my cheeks. After a moment I sat up and slid back a little, finally finding the oak trunk and resting against it.

I was getting old for this. And too tired. And maybe just a bit too pregnant.

I didn't doze. I just rested my eyes.

Andrea and I were silent for a long time. It was probably over an hour. We didn't know how many walkers big the heard had been, but it was so much larger than we thought. So, so much. They were slow, so it took a long time for their crowd to thin up, but even then they never stopped coming. Looking down, I could see at least five at each time, never less than that, as if they were following each other, not necessarily us or anything alive. They were just walking aimlessly, but at the moment we jumped back to the ground they'd attack.

My back was burning and Andrea was always trying to stretch and change positions the best she could. We couldn't stay here for much longer.

"Hey," I whispered at her and she looked sideways at me. "Where's your spike?"

"Down there," she pointed to the ground. It was fallen near the roots, just a foot away from my axe.

"We gonna have to go down," I told her.

Her eyes opened more at that, "You're sure?"

"We need to go, can't just stay here. They'll never stop coming. We'll have to kill a few and run in that direction," I pointed behind us. "I don't see any movement from there. And then we can try the main road again."

Swallowing visibly, Andrea nodded.

"Hey," I called her again and she looked back at me. "You can do it."

She nodded again, taking a calming breath.

"I'll jump down first and start on them so you'll have time to go down and take your spike, ok?"

"Please be careful!" she told me

I nodded, "When you have the spike, we'll stand back to back and kill them, alright?"

I didn't wait for her to answer because I knew she'd just nod nervously and maybe tell me to be careful again. So, trusting she'd do as I said, I threw a leg to the side of the branch and let myself fall. I fell heavily to the ground to a crouch and looked around just as the walkers saw me. Taking the axe that was at my feet, I got up and walked towards them rolling it in my hands.

Come on, motherfuckers.

Andrea did exactly as I said. When she got her back to mine, armed with the spike, I had killed two of them already. One by one we let them come and killed them. Odd how satisfying it was becoming… Creepy to think about that.

It stopped being satisfying when Andrea's spike broke and she screamed when the walker came over her. She stumbled backways, falling down by my side, the walker over her. I had one right there coming at me but Andrea was panicking.

"Fuck!" I shouted and shoved the farmer walker away with a kick in the chest, and then turned to help her, my axe spiking into the back of its head. It fell dead on top of Andrea and I turned to deal with the one I'd kicked.

Too close. It was inches away from me, no space for me to rise the axe, its hands reaching and grabbing my arms. I fought it way, stepping back and then…

Well…

Then the head of the walker was gone, falling to the ground like a football, its heavy body falling just a moment after.

Standing right there in front of me was a living person I had not seen arrive at all, hood up covering her face, a sword in hand. A fucking sword. Behind her were two walkers chained as if on leashes, just standing there, not attacking or anything. She said nothing, just moved on to kill the next walker as I recovered from my shock enough to keep fighting them with my axe, Andrea not getting up, too scared and obviously weaponless to fight. The ninja with the sword killed like half a dozen walkers in seconds when I dealt with three of them with the heavy axe.

Damn, I wish I had a sword.

Then they were gone. The woman and I looked around, rounding each other to make sure no more walkers were near, and it was finally clear. Only then I faced her again, just as Andrea got up from the ground. The ninja was shaking her sword, walker blood splattering out of its surface.

"Where did you come from?!" I asked before even thinking about thanking her.

"You alright?" she asked.

You know in movies when somebody suddenly remembers something and a lot of scenes of those memories are quickly shown? Her voice did that to me. It was just not possible. I leaned down a bit trying to see her face under the hood and asked, disbelief clear in my voice:

"Michonne?"

She paused, just like Andrea by my side, and after a couple of seconds she lowered the hood and damn, it was really her, surprise widening her eyes.

"Sam?!"

I laughed. No, really, I just had to laugh. How the fuck was this possible? How, in the middle of the woods of Georgia I could've just had my ass saved by Michonne?

"Oh my God, Sam!" she said and rushed to hug me. I'm not sure if I was laughing or crying now as I hugged her back. It was just so good to see her.

"Holly shit, Michonne, I can't believe it!"

She let go of me and held me by my arms, "You did get the dreads done!"

I laughed aloud, "I did!"

"I can't believe you know each other!" Andrea said by my side and sobered me up a little.

"Mich, this is my friend Andrea. Andrea, Michonne was by best friend in high school!"

Andrea huffed a quick laugh, "Seriously?"

"Yes!" Michonne and I answered together.

"You're back!" I said turning to Mich after she and Andrea shook hands.

"I was living in Sandy Springs when the outbreak happened. Tried to go down to Savannah after a while but… Well. Couldn't."

Oh, something bad had happened.

"Let's catch up later. We need to get out of those woods, this huge herd just passed by us. And fuck, you'll need to explain these two!" I said pointing at the walkers in chain behind her.

"I saw the herd," Michonne said. "Didn't think living person could be 'round here 'till you two jumped down from the tree," she said as she sheathed her sword on the holster hanging from her back. "C'mon, I'm holing up in a cabin a few miles away."

It was a simple hunting cabin among the trees, but Michonne seemed to have worked a bit on it already. It was almost clean and there were boards on the windows, an oil lamp on a table, bottles of water and canned food on the small kitchen area and a bed with blankets at a corner.

Andrea and I ate from what she gave us and had water and were able to sit and rest a little. Andrea dozed off right there where she sat on the floor. The poor woman was exhausted.

I sat on the bed with my back to the wall and Michonne came to sit by my side. Quietly, she reached for my hand and squeezed it, and we smiled at each other sideways.

"It's so good to see you…" she told me quietly.

"You have no idea, Mich…"

And at that, with no warning, I started crying. Clutching her hand, my chin fell against my chest and I cried, my chest painfully tight.

"Oh, honey…" she whispered and hugged me sideways, making my head fall on her shoulder. "It's alright… You let it out."

I couldn't speak for long minutes. After I was cried out, I straightened and tried to dry my face but even if I wasn't sobbing anymore, the tears still fell freely.

"You two alone?" Mich asked in a whisper.

My chin trembled as I nodded. "We had a group... Got separated from them. They're still out there, somewhere."

"How this happened?"

Well, she got me started. I told her all that happened that night with Shane, but to explain Shane I had to tell why he'd hated me so much to the point of trying to murder me, and to explain it, I explained my leadership of the group and how it all started, since Savannah, since the Dixon's house.

"So Daryl thinks you're dead?" she asked when I finished. She'd also asked questions during the tale, to understand it better.

I felt like crying again when I said "He does… And the way he screamed…" and I didn't hold anymore, I cried again.

"They're still out there," Mich squeezed my hand and said it firmly. "They might think you're dead but you know they're alive. We can find them."

We.

"We'll stay together now, right?" I asked her, nodding with a hope she'd say yes.

"We absolutely will," she said with total certainty.

"Do you have a group?"

She smiled sadly, shaking her head. "No. It's just me. I've been alone since the beginning."

I reached out for her other hand, now holding firmly to both of them. "Not anymore. You're not alone."

She smiled tearfully as she nodded. She pulled me for a hug again and I was so relieved to have found someone I trusted so much, someone I had loved as a sister one day in the past. It was like a balm to be feeling something good among so much sadness.

"Now…" she said as she let me go. "What about this belly there? Daryl's?"

"Not technically… But after we got together he said he wanted it. So yeah… It's Daryl's."

"Damn… Must be hard for him to think he's lost not only you but his baby too…"

"God…" I cried. "This hurts so much because I can imagine what he's feeling. It would have killed me if it was him…"

"He'll make it through it."

Oh, something bad had happened.

"Mich… Who did you lose?"

Her eyes went vacant in an instant. She looked away and down and I knew whoever it was, it was still fresh, it still hurt just to think of it.

"Can't speak if it… Not yet," she said, her voice grave.

"It's okay. I'll be here when you want to talk," I whispered at her and saw her nod, still not looking at me. I was silent for a moment before speaking again. "Andrea lost her sister," I told her and Michonne looked at me and then at the sleeping Andrea. "Not long ago. It's been… God, feels like a year but… Two weeks ago? So much's happened since then…"

"We've all been hurt, one way or another… Sometimes I don't even know what the hell I'm still fighting for."

I thought for a moment. "People kept saying it was the apocalypse. The end of the fucking world. But… We're still here. Ain't we? We're here, alive. Finding old friends," I smiled at her and she also did, tight lipped. "And still able to fight, and breathe, and love. So the world ain't really over, is it? We're still here."

She smiled at me, eyes shining with tears. "We're still here."