Chapter 37: One Eighty

Daryl followed Carol all the way back to her house, and when he put the SUV in park in her drive way, he realized he couldn't even remember half of the drive home. His mind had been somewhere else entirely. He was having a boy. A son. He had already started making plans to paint the nursery and where he was going to put the crib.

"You in there?" Carol asked, waving at Daryl as she walked up to him. He snapped out of his daydream.

"Yeah, sorry," he chuckled. "Just thinking."

"About your little boy," Carol smiled. "I'm so excited for you, Daryl."

"Another Dixon male. That's a scary thought," he chuckled.

"He's going to be amazing, just like his daddy. I know it." She stood on her tiptoes to kiss him, and when she pulled back, Daryl sighed and leaned his forehead against hers.

"Thank you for bein' here. Ain't a lot of women who'd stand where you're standin' right now. But that's alright, 'cause you're the only one I want."

"Good," Carol smiled. "I'm glad to hear that." She took his hand and gave it a squeeze. "You coming in?"

"Yeah. Gotta stop by Lucy's first. She had the doctor record the ultrasound for me."

"Oh, okay," Carol smiled. "Just come on in when you're ready."

"I will." He pressed a soft kiss to her lips, and Carol turned to start for her porch. Daryl watched her for a moment, considering how his life had done a complete one-eighty in the past few months. He'd gone from being miserable and hating himself for staying with Lucy to actually going to sleep excited for the next day or thinking of the woman he loved. He still had moments where he thought back to the man he was with Lucy, and sometimes when he looked in the mirror, he almost didn't recognize himself. He felt so alive with Carol, so hopeful for whatever happened next. He had an amazing girlfriend, and he was about to be a father, and those two realities kept him going. He was happier than he'd ever been.

Still, when he walked up the steps to Lucy's porch, he felt that heavy, sinking feeling in his gut, and while he knew he was going to have to figure out a way to get along with Lucy for the sake of his son, it was easier said than done. She'd put him through so much, and he counted himself lucky that he'd been able to move on.

He rang the door bell, and it took a few moments for Lucy to answer it. When she came to the door, her hair was pulled back in a messy bun, and she looked tired. She stared at Daryl for a moment before offering him a half smile.

"You want to come in?"

"I can't. I ain't got much time."

"Oh," Lucy huffed. "Don't want to keep your sweetie pie waiting, right?"

"Don't."

"What?" Lucy asked.

"Don't act like this is on me," he insisted. "I didn't come here to fight. I came here for the ultrasound." He glanced behind her to see several boxes in the hallway. "You still ain't unpacked everything?"

"I'm packing everything back up," he said quietly. "I sold the house."

"What?" Daryl asked, narrowing his eyes at her. "When? I didn't know you were…"

"Yeah, I didn't exactly want to raise my kid here while you're playing happy family with the nurse next door."

"Oh, Jesus, Lucy," Daryl muttered. "You gotta stop this shit. Carol's part of my life now, and she's gonna be in my son's life."

"Our son's life," Lucy corrected him.

"Right," Daryl agreed. "So you know how this is gonna have to work, right?" Lucy sighed and shrugged her shoulders, and Daryl took a deep breath. "You're gonna move on. I moved on. Carol's in my life, and someday, you're gonna have somebody, too. I ain't gonna stand there and say he can't be around my kid."

"I didn't say she can't be around him. I just don't want to raise him here knowing your real family is right next door."

"I ain't doin' this," Daryl finally said, holding his hands up and taking a step back.

"Wait!"

"Nah, I'll come get it some other time."

"Jesus, Daryl, don't be so fucking dramatic," Lucy muttered with an eye roll. "Just take it." She leaned over to grab something off of the table by the door, and she held it out to him. It was a DVD in a black case. "Here's your copy." Daryl stared at it warily for a moment before taking it from her. "Look, I'm sorry." Daryl scoffed and shook his head.

"Yeah, you say that now." He shook his head. "I gotta go."

"Daryl?"

"What?" he asked, shoulders slumping as he forced himself to stay on her porch a little longer. He looked at her, watched the way her lower lip quivered like it always did when she'd been horrible to him and wanted to make him feel guilty for her being so upset when he hadn't done a damn thing to her. "What, Lucy?"

"Nothing. Forget it." She turned to go back into the house, and Daryl sighed, resisting the urge to call her back. But the unsettling feeling he got when she started to close the door had him re-thinking things.

"Lucy?" She stopped and turned back to face him. She looked anywhere but at him.

"Have you been to the doctor?" he asked, studying her face, squinting a little as he watched her gaze shift toward the porch steps.

"I went today. I told you," she pointed out, gesturing toward the DVD in Daryl's hand.

"That's not what I meant. You been to your therapist?"

"Sure. I went last week."

"You taking your meds?"

"Do you care?"

"You're havin' my kid. I care. Just tell me the fucking truth for once." Lucy took a deep breath and nodded her head.

"Yeah, I'm taking my meds. You happy?" Daryl stared at her. "What? You don't believe me? Color me surprised. Look, I've got the moving guys coming a week from tomorrow. I'm going to be staying at Negan's."

"Negan's?" Daryl asked. "You're back with him?"

"No, he's just letting me crash at his place until I find a new place. Some place big enough for just us, you know? Me and the baby, I mean."

"So you're just gonna crash on some asshole's couch until you find a new place to live?"

"I don't have anywhere else to go," she said quietly. "I just can't stay here." She looked at him. "And he might be some asshole to you, but he was good to me."

"Oh, yeah. Real winner, that one."

"Are you jealous?" Lucy asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Don't pull that shit. This is about the baby, so don't try to make it into somethin' it ain't." He shook his head. "I gotta go. When's the next appointment?"

"Three weeks from tomorrow. Two thirty."

"I'll be there. Call me if it changes." Lucy nodded then, and Daryl turned to leave.

He was pissed off. Mostly, he was pissed off at himself for going to Lucy's first. Seeing her always ended up in an argument with her trying to fuck with him and make him feel bad for something he didn't even do. She was leaving, and while he hated the idea that his unborn child had to go along with her to sleep at that asshole Negan's place, he was relieved that she was at least moving on from the house they'd moved into together. They hadn't been there long, and she'd bought the place, but he knew it was only going to be uncomfortable for everyone all the way around with her living next door to Carol.

What pissed him off more was the fact that after he had gotten out of that relationship, moved on and finally made a little peace with the fact that he was going to have to share a child with the woman who'd made him feel like less than a human being, she was still using some of her emotionally abusive tactics, trying to make him feel bad for her, trying to make him the bad guy when he hadn't even done a fucking thing to her. And now there was a new life coming into the world in four months that was going to have to endure her emotional manipulations. It wasn't fair at all.

When Daryl found himself in front of Carol's door, he knew the second she opened the door that he was in no state to have a sit down with her and her five year old about the status of their relationship. Her face said it all. Her blue eyes were filled with worry, and she stepped out onto the porch, shutting the door behind her.

"What happened?"

"She sold her house."

"Oh," Carol said quietly. "Okay." She furrowed her brows a moment, trying to figure out what that would mean. "Is she…staying in the area? Is she leaving?"

"Don't know," he offered with a little shrug. "She's gonna go stay with her ex, I guess. Somethin' ain't right, Carol."

"How did she look? Is she taking care of herself?"

"I don't know. I mean, she looked like she usually does. Just…I think she's off her meds again."

"Oh," Carol whispered. "Daryl, I'm so sorry you're going through this. This is supposed to be a happy day. I mean, you just found out you're having a boy, and…"

"And now his mom's trying to start shit again. Look, I know we were gonna sit down with Sophia tonight and talk to her, but she's a smart kid, and she's gonna know somethin's up. I think I better head home tonight and cool off."

"Are you gonna be ok?"

"Yeah. I'm just…I'm tired. I'm sick of the bullshit. And I'm thinkin' about things I don't wanna think about. Things I just wanna forget." Carol nodded then, and she pulled her arms around him, hugging him close.

"It's ok. We can do this some other time."

"You sure?"

"I'm not going anywhere," she promised. She pulled back and smiled up at him. His lips turned into a little smile, and he leaned down to kiss her.

"Don't know how I got so lucky. I love you."

"Me too," she murmured, kissing him again. "Be safe, ok?" He nodded then, reaching to give her hand a squeeze.

"I'll see you tomorrow night."

Author's Note: Please let me know what you think! Feedback is so very much appreciated and encouraged! Thanks for reading!