IIyana woke with the morning chill and for a horrid moment, she thought she'd only dreamed Solas had been with her last night. The place next to her was cold, empty, and he was gone. Tears burned as she rolled onto her back, her spirits plummeting – it had only been a dream. Then she saw him standing outside on the balcony.

The doors were partially opened, revealing what would be a clear day, but in contrast with the bright weather, Solas' expression was somber, as if his thoughts were far away. Uneasily, IIyana wondered if he regretted coming to her last night ... regretted making passionate love to her hours earlier.

Wrapping the bed sheets around her naked form, IIyana walked across the Orlasian carpet, stopping next to him. "Oh dhea," she whispered.

So absorbed in his thoughts that he visibly started. But when he turned to see her tight smile, his expression softened. He reached out, took her arm, and gently wrapped his blanket over hers. "Oh dhea," he replied as he slipped his arms around her waist. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"When I awakened and you weren't there, I thought I had dreamt about you being with me last night."

"I'm here, vhenan. And I am very real. But you should be resting."

"I will rather be with you."

His eyes brightened. He kissed her until she was breathless. But his expression turned solemn again. "I've been thinking -"

"I hate when you do that," she interrupted and smoothed the frown from his lip.

"You hate when I do what?"

"When you think about things that make you frown."

"IIyana, I -"

"I love you, too, Solas."

His heart ached. Feeling as though he would explode with love. "I was afraid," he admitted, "that I would never hear you say those words again."

"Shouldn't I be the one to make that decision?"

"Yes," he agreed.

"Then I will forgive you for thinking such ridiculous thoughts."

Solas smiled. He appreciated IIyana's gentleness and her attempts at trying to act as if if things were perfectly normal between them now because of the night before. "I realized that upon my return, I have neither apologized for my inexcusable behavior, nor did I offer an explanation, and I need to do both."

She sobered. Eyes lowered and silent. She was afraid to hear what he would say but she waited for him to begin.

"As you may have suspected, I blamed myself for my friend's death. She had reached out for help and I had failed to protect her."

"But I heard what she said to you. You did all you could."

"Yes, I know. But it didn't hurt any less," he replied. Then his voice went soft. "What I did to those mages - I had not lost myself like that since before I joined the Inquisition. And I was ashamed you were witness to such behavior. Cassandra said you believed I blamed you for Wisdom's death. Please know that I didn't leave because I hold you at fault. That burden was mine alone to bear. "

"Why didn't you tell me where you were going?"

"Because I knew you would follow. I needed time to think. To process my grief and my shame. This was a journey I had to partake alone."

"I understand. Where did you go?"

"I found a quiet spot and went to sleep. I visited the place in the Fade my friend used to be. It was empty. But there are stirrings of energy in the void. Someday, something new may grow there."

IIyana nodded. "What happens when a spirit dies, Solas?"

"It isn't the same as mortals. The energy of spirits returns to the Fade. If the idea given the spirit form is strong, or if the memory is shaped after spirits, it may someday rise again."

"So there's a chance that she might come back?"

"No, not really. A spirit's natural state is peaceful semi-existence. It is rare to be able to reflect reality. Something similar may be formed one day. But it might have a different personality. It would likely not remember me."

"I'm sorry," she said gently. "The next time you mourn, you don't have to do it alone"

"Thank you, yana. I see that now."

"What took you so long to return home."

"I wondered the Fade for days until I found myself in ruins long lost to time. The spirit guarding the memory led me to an ancient Elven artifact – an eluvian."

IIyana looked puzzled. "Keeper said the elves of Arlathan left not roads to travel between cities. Instead, they used magical mirrors to communicate and travel to far lands."

"Your Keeper was correct. It was incredible. The possibility that such things once existed. We lost many such wonders when Arlathan fell."

"You're telling me that you let a piece of glass lured you away from me?"

Solas accepted her barb with a half smile. "I see your point."

"I'm glad," her green eyes filled with tears as she gazed at him with a small smile. "I was really worried that something had happened to you."

"I'm sorry that I made you worried." He placed a kiss on her forehead and pulled her closer. It had been such a long time since someone had cared for him that he'd forgotten how it felt for someone to worry about his overall well-being. It was humbling ... overwhelming.

IIyana's cheek pressed against his beating heart and she thanked the Gods that he was alive and whole. She was thanking Mythal for her blessings and for her bringing Solas home safe when she heard him say from above. "I apologize ... for the things I said and did to you - with Cullen."

She said slowly. "I can see why you would think -"

"It doesn't matter. I was wrong." Solas told her. "Before you, I've only known loneliness and pain, and it was unfair of me to assumed you would treat me the same."

"And betrayal," she added. "I would think that someone you once loved has hurt you deeply. It would explain your possessive nature over the past weeks."

He winced. "Have I been so terrible?"

"Yes. Incredibly so."

"I'm sorry."

"Will you tell me about her one day."

Tightening his arms around her, as if he could absorb some of the pain he caused her, Solas whispered a quiet yes.

Satisfied, IIyana sought out to erase any doubt between them. "I'm not in love with Cullen, Solas. I love him, yes, but not in the same way I do you. He is very dreamy but he is not the sun. You are. I need you to understand that, and I need you to hear it."

He cupped the sides of her face and made her look at him. "I love you."

Her eyes filled with tears. "You hurt me."

"I love you," he repeated in a harsh whisper. "I'm sorry I hurt you," he added. A single tear slid down her cheek. Solas wiped it away with his thumb.

"I'm sorry about the kiss, Solas. It will never happen again."

"I believe you, IIyana. I was angry but not anymore."

"What's changed your mind?"

"Eri showed me your letters."

She gasped. "He had no right."

"I am glad he did. It gave me the courage to come to you last night. I had hoped that we would eventually find our way back to one another, but I was also afraid I had ruined what little we had left."

"You haven't," she promised.

He looked at her, his eyes smoldering. "Oh IIyana, he said huskily, "love me. Love me as you did before."

There as a moment of complete stillness. Then she tilted her face to kiss him slowly, tenderly and he put all his love, all his emotion into that caress.

"Make love to me, Solas."

"Today. Tomorrow. Always."

They stayed in bed for the rest of the day. Other than the occasional opening of the door to allow for food to be delivered, IIyana's room remained locked, warded, and undisturbed. It was an easy schedule – they ate, slept, made love, and loved some more until the sun descended to earth and disappeared behind the Frosty Mountain peaks.

IIyana stretched lazily on the bed, her creamy body draped over Solas' chest as they awakened from their nap.

"Hmmmm," Solas said, nuzzling the side of her neck. "You need a hot meal, a relaxing bath, and a good night's sleep."

"I need you," she tempted. She sat up. The blanket slipped past her waist; her naked breasts were hot against his skin as she leaned down to kiss him. "Hot. Hard. Inside me."

"IIyana," he whispered when their lips parted. "Your body is sore -"

She crushed her lips against his, her hand reaching to stroke his length, and his defenses crumbled. "This is what I need," she pleaded. She straddles his hips and positioned herself just above his aching cock. "Please. Don't deny me, Solas."

He couldn't have found the words if he tried. His hands gripped her hips tightly, letting out a heavy moan as she slowly slid home. He cupped her breasts as she rode him, her hair a heavy mass against her beautiful back. She was a flaming goddess, conquering his heart and claiming his soul. When her body tightened around his flesh, Solas rolled her onto her back and plunged deeply. His thrusts were controlled, powerful, intentionally slow to heightened her arousal. She clutched to his body, arched and tight. Her moans were music to his ears; her withering body poetry to his soul. When her screams echoed around him, through him, Solas threw himself into the realm of exquisite release.

She completed him – heart, body, and soul.

"I love you, m'yana." He kissed the side of her neck, trying to control his ragged breath.

"You drive me mad, Solas."

"My reputation still proceeds me?"

She flushed.

"I'm pleased to have pleased you," he chuckled softly.

"Eh ... it was more like a three today."

Solas arched a brow. "A three? Out of what, may I ask?"

She held up both hands in front of him as if to push him off her. He gave her a puzzling look, still waiting on her answer.

She gave him a tight smile.

Comprehension settled in. His jaw dropped. Shocked.

She shrugged her shoulders. Avoiding his eyes.

"That was not a three," he demanded, "and you know it."

"I don't know what to tell you," she innocently replied.

"IIyana."

"Solas."

"You lie."

"Perhaps you've lost your touch?"

He lunged for her as she scurried off the bed. Her laughter following her into the washroom.

After dinner, IIyana and Solas lounged inside the massive tub, relaxed, eyes closed. It was half an hour past eight but the two were exhausted from their day of rediscovering one other, or frolicking naked in the moonlight as Dorian would have called it. Twice she'd received notes from him asking if she were alive; twice she'd replied that she was taking one for the team in all the right places.

Allowing the hot water to soothe her aching muscles, IIyana stretched her legs, laying them on Solas's thighs. She flushed as Solas gave her a lazy grin, and asked, what he was thinking.

"I was counting," he answered.

"Oh."

"Sixty-five."

"I'm sorry?" she asked.

"Sixty-five blushes. That's how many I've counted since you joined me for dinner that first night."

"And which one has been your favorite?"

He trailed his hand in the water, creating inviting circles. "Other than the ones given in the midst of passion? Number thirty-five. The night you invited me to your bed."

"Thinking with your dick, I see."

Solas laughed and her breath hitched. It had been so long since they've been happy and she wanted to remember him this way – arms lazily draped along the rims of the wooden tub, head thrown back in laughter. He was magnificent.

"It was the moment you turned back to look at me when we reached your room," he explained. "You were nervous and when I asked if you were certain, you blushed. You took my breath away." He pulled her into my arms. "Suddenly, my future spread before me in an endless wave of wander - a thousand days and nights of being loved by you. My heart raced as I climbed the steps leading up to your room, and when I reached the landing I forced myself to face the truth."

"And what did you find?"

"That I already belong to you. Whether you stayed or left, or whether we walked the same path or not. The world could be destroyed and I will still be yours, Yana. My heart had seen it from the beginning and it was that part of me that I chose to listen to."

Overwhelmed with emotions, IIyana's couldn't think, couldn't find the words.

"In you, I see my heart, my purpose ... my very soul," he continued.

She had imagined his apology - his atonement - a million different ways. But never in her dreams did she imagined this. Nor could she had prepared herself for it. Tears glistened and before she knew it, IIyana broke, crying in earnest from happiness. He sipped her tears before taking her mouth in one long, lush kiss, pouring all his love into the caress, erasing all the hurt and doubt he'd created over the past month. "Say something ... anything."

"I can't," she said. Voice shaking. "I can't find the words."

"I can help you. How about the ones you taught me – I love you. I love you, IIyana."

She held his face in her hands and whispered harshly. "I love you. I love you. Gods, how I love you."