"Kneel."

My knee bent robotically, my head bowed. There was nothing in me to dare think against the simple command. If anything, there was no fight left in me and I didn't have the will to rebel. At this point, it was much easier to obey than to resist.

Ever since coming out of the pit, it'd been a matter of following orderies and waiting on commands. I was scrubbed clean from the accumulated filth in the hellhole, my scars were stripped and healed back to smooth skin by a Root operative, and I was given gear that made me afraid of what was to come. Like what the other Root members wore, I was given sturdy form-fitting black clothes and a new tantō, but I was also given a set of very civilian looking clothes. The plain grey yukata and trousers hid the black gear underneath and the tantō was strapped at my waist out of sight.

Am I about to be sent on a mission? Me?

I was well aware that Danzo could cut me down at any sign of defiance.

"The Fourth had been wasting away your potential all this time. I wish your recruitment had been earlier as you are no longer as malleable compared to a younger child."

I swallowed at that, but my head stayed bowing.

Danzo mused on. "I deemed you a lost cause years ago, however your sudden imprisonment caught my attention. The Fourth initially declared it was for your protection, yet as some time passed, a story had been fabricated of your death."

My eyes shot up at that.

What death? My death? Fabricated? Why?

Seeing Danzo in the flesh took me aback. His tan, leathery skin was scarred almost everywhere that could be seen from his clothes and the wrappings covering half his body were intimidating. It was obvious that he wasn't as injured or crippled as he appeared himself to be. He could have been considered handsome when he was younger, but decades of bitter years and merciless ideals twisted whatever was left of him.

CLICK

Something inside my mind snapped at the sight of him standing with his cane in front of me, like it locked itself away. I couldn't focus on the strange sensation because I was so occupied with what Danzo was telling me.

The old man's face remained stone cold even in the face of my shock. I couldn't tell if he was lying because I couldn't read anything from him, his chakra indicated absolutely nothing.

"Yes, the Fourth reported your death to the public. It stirred up a commotion in the whole village. The Hokage was able to use the public sentiment admirably in the following negotiations with Kumo-"

No-

"You have been grieved, Nobuyuki Haruka. You are dead to the world," Danzo carried on slowly, completely apathetic to what he was saying.

What happened-

"Now, tell me. Why did the Fourth put you in solitary confinement? Do not attempt to convince me that it was because of Kumo."

Shit.

"I should not repeat my order." Danzo's cane tapped the ground once. The action was such a normal one, but fear spiked into my body when I saw him do it.

"I-I," I stuttered.

There's no way I could tell him. Do I lie? Could I even get away with it? What do I even say?

"The Fourth suspected me," I blurted out with my voice cracking. "I told him that I knew of something that I shouldn't have known of, and he imprisoned me to interrogate me."

There was a tiny flicker in Danzo's chakra. Interest.

"What is it that you know?"

I opened my mouth, ready to spill my secrets like the coward I was, but confusion flooded my mind. I couldn't say what I wanted to say because…

"I don't know," I breathed aloud, my eyes wide. My gaze grew unfocused. "I don't recall any of it."

I don't remember. I froze at the revelation.

Why don't I remember? I can't recall anything about what I told Minato. I know I said something important, something big enough to make him throw me in prison, and he even had Inoichi mindwalk me with Ibiki and Jiraiya and those chunins. I know I worked with Jiraiya afterwards, but… I can't remember anything about what we talked about.

Danzo's uncovered eye narrowed at my reply. "What do you mean you don't know?"

I looked at the old man, fully honest because I had absolutely no clue why I was like this.

"D-Danzo-sama, I-I cannot remember any of it," I confessed with fear, my throat dry. "I was in solitary confinement. I was mindwalked and had the Fourth inside my head. I spoke with Jiraiya many times afterwards. We were working on something, I think, but I don't remember what it was for. I can't recall what any of it was about."

I sounded so lost that I could tell even Danzo was considering that I was telling the truth.

Why would I lie about not remembering? It'd be such a terrible lie, even Danzo would realize that something was wrong with me.

It was something extremely important, I could feel it. It was like a numb itch at the back of my head, I just knew it, but I couldn't recall any of it. There was something missing in my mind. Something big as if it was a large part of my life, it was a part of who I was as a person. I just knew it was significant and knowing that made it all the more maddening that I didn't remember it.

Danzo made a low hum under his breath and stepped closer. I fought the flinch when he placed a hand on my head and he pulsed his chakra through me multiple times. It was hard not to want to fight against the intrusive feeling, but I could tell that he was trying to find if there was something in me that was interfering with my memories. It travelled through my chakra pathways like echolocation, and it ached when it reached the back of my skull. After a couple of minutes, Danzo pulled back and tapped his cane against my forehead.

"There is a seal on your mind," Danzo said after a moment of contemplation. "I suspect the work of the seal master, Jiraiya, most likely to block out particular contents from outsiders. It is very specific and intricate, and attempting to unseal it would result in your immediate catotonic state."

I twitched. What.

Danzo returned his cane to the concrete ground. "It does not matter. You have confirmed many things to me regardless of your sealed memories. I will have my answer in due time."

First, I learn that I'm supposedly dead and now, I have sealed memories with a trigger button to render me comatose?

As much as I hated both of these revelations, I was deeply thankful for the latter one. Danzo wasn't going to torture the information out of me since it was a lost cause.

With some shame, I realized I was more relieved that I was avoiding potential torture than caring about Danzo eventually finding out whatever he wanted to know. It was almost more reassuring to realize that Danzo would have his answers through his own means instead of from me. I had a feeling that I really shouldn't tell Danzo anything even if I had known, but I found myself not exactly feeling courageous to stand up to him.

Maybe the Me before the hellhole would've fought against him.

"Now, I will speak of your purpose from now on," Danzo said in a steely tone. "I know of your particular chakra sensing abilities and I will put you to good use for it."

So that's why Danzo wanted me.

"You have been placed through fire and hammered in the forge," the old man's gravelly voice scraped against the empty air. "You are no longer Yamanaka Haruka. From now on, you shall be called Sute."

And just like that, Danzo wiped a clean slate and gave it to me. My eyes lowered further at the name. If it weren't for the severe lack of humor in his voice, I would have thought Danzo was mocking me with the new identity. 'Sute' was a common name given to newborn babies found in the forest, left to die from exposure but found by gracious strangers.

Forsaken, I thought with quiet anger. Fitting.

"We are the shadows casted within Konoha," Danzo continued. "We protect Konoha in the veil of darkness and we accomplish what cannot be done in the light. This is Root."

I never wanted this.

"You, however, will not be part of Root."

…. What?

I couldn't help but stiffen in complete shock at those words. This whole time, I had suspected and feared that I was being prepared for Root, but if I wasn't going to join them, then what was going to happen to me?

"You are weak, not nearly skilled enough to join the ranks of my Root operatives, the elite among shinobi," Danzo said. "Despite precise chakra control, you have abysmal chakra reserves, and furthermore, you lack the imperative mindset of a true ninja as your emotions and civilian upbringing have softened you. However, it is due to your many faults as ninja that you may be especially fitted to a particular role."

I have no idea what he has planned for me.

"You shall join Diplomat Shoyo in the Fire daimyo's court. Protect him, aid him, and obey his every word. You will utilize your chakra sensing abilities for his purpose. This is your mission until otherwise notified by Root. Do you understand?"

I bowed my head. "Yes, Danzo-sama."

"It should go without saying that abandoning your mission will have consequences which may involve your family. My eyes see everything, my ears hear all. As long as you follow my commands, your family will not be touched."

My head lowered even further. "Yes."

It took a week's journey with a merchant caravan to reach the capital.

It was all so surreal. Only eight days ago, the pit had been my world and I had gotten accustomed to it. There, it was dark, quiet, dry, and I was left alone. Fighting was the only thing that I had done until now, but Danzo just dropped me into the outside world like it was nothing. There was no time for me to process the change of environment, no words given for my benefit. I wanted to assume that my civilian background gave me a certain leeway in his treatment because I was nothing like his 'ideal' Root agents.

Even though I should've been happy about being released, I almost disliked being outside because I had to get used to everything again. The air was different, the wind blew across my skin, humans surrounded me whose first instinct wasn't to fight, all sorts of sounds happened every second, and there was the sun.

The sun was blinding and I hated it. It made me feel exposed in contrast to the pit where I could hide covered in blood.

Isamu.

The little boy, faceless in the dark, intruded my mind every day. I didn't fight the memories.

I had to be reminded.

Would Danzo actually keep his word? He'd stay away from Ryouta and Yuuma as long as I obeyed him?

And Konoha. I should find out what's happened since I've been gone.

As much as I wanted to know what had happened while I'd been in the dark, I also wasn't scrambling to learn about everything. Hearing about current events, seeing that the world had continued to orbit despite my disappearance and suffering put a bitter taste in my mouth. The new name, Sute, didn't help either. An echo of something would hit my heart every time called me by that name because I just wanted someone to say my real name, like proof that the real Haru still lived.

But no, it was just Sute now.

Forsakenforsakenforsakenforsaken-

My jaw tightened. Everything just seemed bitter nowadays. The food I ate, even if it was seasoned perfectly fine, wouldn't taste as good as it should. My thoughts were always tinged with an ugly emotion, some mix of angerconfusionresentmentdefeatedbitterbitterbitter, and they were distracting; meditation helped. I couldn't watch people smile, chat normally, go about their lives like common folks without feeling a gnawing twist in my stomach. They had normal lives, average happiness, regular woes of difficulties, and here I was, sitting amongst them fresh out of the pit. Normal things appeared fake in my eyes. Regular food seemed needlessly extravagant compared to the dry ration bars, the warm sun felt weak against the cold, black air, the kind mannerisms among humans didn't make sense after the fighting or the knives, and I very much preferred the silence of the hellhole instead of the ceaseless sounds of a lively world.

A little more than a year had passed since the last date I remembered before solitary confinement. The merchants told me about the 'Kumo Affair', how Konoha had taken the edge against Kumo through the incident after the initial dispute over the attempted Hyuga Heiress kidnapping. Though Kumo at first tried to shift the blame to Konoha with the failed kidnapping, claiming that they were being framed, the dispute shifted dramatically in light of the later events concerning a civilian girl. The story was that the Yondaime had a young office assistant, a bright civilian clan girl who was attending Konoha Gakuen to learn diplomacy and inter-village politics. In the chaos of the Kumo nin's escape, she got badly injured in the crossfire, eventually dying from the wound. Up until then, the village had yet to have known about the entirety of the Kumo Affair, but the girl's death publicized the whole episode. The ensuing months resulted in Konoha taking the upperhand of the situation with both villages signing a nonaggression treaty. The agreement was supposed to last for as long as the two hidden villages would follow it, though everyone implicitly understood that it was most likely a temporary standstill. If anything, it was a big breath of fresh air for everyone in Konoha because they finally had some measure of guaranteed peace. They were tired of war and were glad to have the Kumo Affair blow over despite their anger about this one death.

"It's really a shame how that girl died," one man remarked.

Another merchant sighed, "To think that the whole village wouldn't have known about the Hyuga Heiress kidnapping if it weren't for that civilian's death. I heard that her funeral was pretty grand, y'know, for a civvie."

I tilted my head at that.

"Is that-," I coughed, unused to talking for so long. "Is that what you heard? From where?"

The man shrugged. "People talk. Of course, the Yamanaka head was there since the girl herself was a Yamanaka, but apparently the Hokage was there with his wife along with a few other clan heads. A Hokage usually doesn't attend civilian funerals, do they?"

An awkward grimace twitched across my face.

No, I suppose they wouldn't, I thought numbly, watching the dirt road open to a distant city, shrouded in a green forest.

I didn't ask for more details.

I didn't want to know anymore about Konoha, about Yamanaka Haruka, or the Hokage.

It was easier to not think about any of it because if I did, all these ugly emotions would resurface.

I didn't want to be consumed by them.

Several things clicked together once I arrived at the noble courts and met Diplomat Shoyo.

The Twelve Guardian Ninja were the Fire Daimyo's bodyguards and they controlled every inch of security in his court. Every person who wanted an audience with the daimyo had to be examined by them and they were extremely skilled with detecting chakra. Even an infiltrator with the best chakra suppressing abilities was caught because the Twelve Guardians were shinobi with a wide variety of training and experience. A few of them were a special breed of monk turned shinobi or the other way around, which granted them special chakra sensing abilities like that of a sage. It was why they were so good at weeding out ninjas pretending to be civilians, however they couldn't pick out civilian spies who were superb actors which made it all the more difficult to detect lies from truths in the daimyo court. Also, the spies weren't the only ones lying because the nobles were just as skillful with fabricating stories as well. The end result was a court packed with people who were pretending the entire time.

Danzo sent me here because I was ideal for blending in. If any shinobi attempted to spy and blend among the nobles, the Twelve Guardian Ninja would sniff them out like bloodhounds.

In these circumstances, I understood why Danzo pointed out my unacceptably low chakra reserves. Firstly, none of the Twelve Guardians would suspect me if I pass their security checkpoint because of my civilian level chakra reserves. If they took an extremely close look, they'd be able to detect refined chakra pathways in my system, however that would require sage mode, a medic nin, or a Hyuga's Byakugan. Regardless, I could stick close to Diplomat Shoyo without raising suspicion. I had sufficient training to fight off civilian attempts of assassination as Danzo didn't expect me to encounter shinobi often. Secondly, my chakra sensing would be extremely helpful to Diplomat Shoyo. In a place where people told half-truths all the time and never revealed their cards, I was like a lie detector.

The capital itself was larger than Konoha with a sprawling structure that had clear boundaries separating the poor from the middle class and the wealthy. The streets were sometimes organized into straight lines cobbled with smooth stones and carved fences and other times, the roads were simply beaten dirt paths. There were more people milling in the capital, way more civilians than I was used to seeing and I was only able to detect about ten shinobi as I passed through the many barriers leading up to the royal courts. The merchants kindly dropped me off in front of a gated land where a large traditional manor sat on top of a level hill. A bright white and deep yellow color motif covered the estate with flowers, painted gates, and family symbols carved everywhere. The guard at the entrance escorted me inside, informing a servant about my arrival.

An elderly man, he seemed to have authority among the servants, led me through the maze of hallways inside the wide house to an office. After exchanging a few quiet words, the old servant gestured for me to step inside.

I stood facing a man sitting at a wide desk. The office was spacious and had ornate wooden furniture cushioned with high quality silk and thick woven carpets tastefully lining the bamboo floor. Stacks of papers, scrolls, and bound books filled the numerous shelves covering the walls. Seeing how the contents of the shelves held in-depth studies of topics like history, law, and philosophy, I had the vague sense that Diplomat Shoyo was someone who took pride in knowledge.

Diplomat Shoyo was a nobleman and looked every part of what a nobleman should appear to be. His back was straight with pristine, smooth robes in muted colors draping down his shoulders. Black, silky hair was pulled into a clean knot at the back of his head.

The nobleman's black eyes were sharp and cold.

Involuntarily, Yuzuru's expressive face flashed through my mind. They had the same hair, same facial structure, and same dark obsidian eyes, but the similarities ended there.

They look alike, but their personalities are obviously different.

I wondered if he knew that his son and I were classmates. We had never met in person and I didn't have my name, so I wasn't sure if he would even be able to recognize who I was.

Either way, it wouldn't matter. I'm here because I was told to be here. I have to stay and do as I'm told if I don't want to risk the consequences.

Diplomat Shoyo watched me with a hint of disdain. "What are you called?"

"Sute."

A flicker of amusement flashed through his eyes at the name, making me clench my fingers underneath my sleeves.

"Is it true that you can deduce whether or not a person is lying through sensing their chakra?"

I dipped my head. "That is partially the truth."

The nobleman hummed in interest. "Explain."

"I sense a person's chakra as if it's a flame. It flickers with emotions when they speak, but my accuracy of knowing their emotions depends on how well I know the person," I said.

A pleased smile crept up on Diplomat Shoyo's face when he heard this.

"Then tell me, what do you sense when I say that my favorite pastime is joining the Fire Daimyo for afternoon tea and discussion?"

I took a second to examine the shift in his chakra which had twitched with some subtle vibrations.

"It's not the truth," I said slowly. "You may enjoy it, but it's not your favorite pastime. You have enthusiasm in your words, but I don't sense it being the truth."

Diplomat Shoyo's eyes gleamed. "Anything else you'd like to deduce? Take a venture."

I opened and closed my mouth once, uncertain if I shouldn't speak out of fear of offending him.

"I won't be offended," the nobleman encouraged.

"I would guess that you enjoy the afternoon tea and discussion not for the company it gives, but for another reason," I trailed off in my answer, ducking my head. "Maybe you enjoy it for the benefits instead."

In other words, I just said that I suspect he thinks that the Fire Daimyo's presence isn't worthwhile and he's taking advantage of the most royal man in the entire country.

Instead of being insulted by my insinuation, Diplomat Shoyo openly smiled and leaned forward, staring at me in the eye.

"Well then, this is absolutely spectacular," he breathed in appreciation. "Danzo-sama gave me a mind reader."

I swallowed at that, uncomfortable at his words and blatant display of satisfaction.

"I look forward to having you by my side, Sute," he said with a tone of eagerness. "You'll be extremely helpful in the coming months."

I bowed.

"Yes."

I later realized that Diplomat Shoyo was the most intimidating and terrifying man to sit in the daimyo's court.

Until now, whenever I met manipulative, calculating people, it had always been shinobi. Almost every person in my life who had a deceptive cunning streak was a ninja like the Yondaime, Inoichi, Shisui, Takeshi, Shikaku, and Danzo. I hadn't met a civilian with the same brand of scheming as them, but shadowing Diplomat Shoyo gave me a good view of exactly how conniving he could be in the sea of lies.

Shoyo-sama twisted people around his fingers easily. He was like a chameleon, changing colors and altering his personality ever so slightly for each person he met. He'd be a little sharp with the ones who were whipped into fearful obedience, or sickly sweet to the noblemen with too much pride, and he even adopted an upright moral character for the few individuals who actually cared about being a good human being while in court. Along with his flexible personality, Diplomat Shoyo had sharp memory in remembering specific details about every person he considered to be of use as a means of building connections with them. He remembered their birthdays, their likes and dislikes, and he sent seemingly thoughtful gifts and trinkets when the occasion rose and remained on almost everyone's good graces. Because of his 'thoughtfulness', the Fire Daimyo considered Diplomat Shoyo to be one of his closest confidants and always sought his insight in every single issue, big or small, no matter how trivial. It made me sometimes wonder who was actually running the daimyo court.

Even without my chakra sensing, the man had a good instinct of gleaning truths from white lies and gossip, but he got much more work done with me next to him.

Meeting and encountering countless individuals with silver tongues who lied like their life depended on it left me feeling deeply empty and cynical within the first week. Every single noble and court member lied about the littlest things to the point that my mind was left swimming with worthless details. They'd brag about nonexistent things in their life, of how much money they spent or gained, their family's achievements, and they'd gossip like flocks of hens clucking endlessly. It was all for the sake of keeping up pretenses that their lives were important, that their family names held value, and that they weren't weak.

The only people who stood a chance against Shoyo-sama were a handful of noblemen who stood in the opposite faction that centered on upholding the current feudal society. They were conservative and traditionalists. Shoyo-sama led his own party in the noble courts with a firm grip.

It was hard to get a sense of exactly what sort of agenda Diplomat Shoyo pushed in politics. It's clear that he's amassing power and influence, but he didn't always have a clear stance on opinions and he didn't often directly meddle with the ongoings between nobles.

What I most concerned about, was why the nobleman was connected to someone like Danzo.

Danzo is supporting Shoyo, but why?

Organizing books into their rightful places on the shelves, I shuffled through the shacks of books on the desk. Shoyo-sama was a perfectionist and had a particular way of organizing his belongings.

If anything, the fact that Shoyo could stand toe-to-toe with someone like Danzo is proof of how scary he could be, I surmised. The man is just as heartless as Danzo and if he really wanted to, Shoyo could get me accused of treason just by lifting a finger. It's hard to believe that Yuzuru has a father like him.

The office door slid open and an elderly man walked in. "Sute, are you finished putting away the books? Have you had lunch yet?"

I quickly bowed. "Garu-san. I'm almost finished and no, I haven't eaten."

The old servant was like the butler of the mansion. He had a grandfatherly face and demeanor, but Diplomat Shoyo wouldn't have kept Garu-san around just for being gentle. I had a glimpse of his heartless side a few days ago when he killed a veteran servant in cold blood without hesitation under orders of Shoyo-sama. The servant had been working in the Shoyo house for more than five years, but I found out he was actually a spy when Shoyo-sama had me trail him.

"The kitchen has food ready. Have your fill when you're done."

"Yes, thank you," I said as I slid the last two heavy books into their rightful places. "I'll head over now."

Walking down the clean corridors, I took a brief moment to admire the outdoor zen garden that spread across the south side of the estate. The Shoyo manor was huge and immaculately cared for by a dozen servants residing here not including the samurai guards. Normally, a nobleman would have at least thirty servants to maintain a place of this size, however Shoyo-sama preferred to keep a low number of people as he disliked having unnecessary numbers of people running around. More servants increased the likelihood of spies, case in point being that servant killed recently. Garu-san had told the rest of the servants that their coworker had to leave suddenly for urgent family matters in his hometown to divert their questions.

I entered the kitchen where almost all of the servants were currently sitting at a long table and eating boxed lunches.

"Sute-chan! You haven't eaten, yet, right?" One girl jumped up and took me by the hand, leading me to join them.

A small smile twitched on my lips seeing the enthusiasm. The other servants greeted me with various levels of friendliness and cheer, but they all still said hello nonetheless. It was a relief that I wasn't shunned by them when I first arrived at the estate.

I said thanks to the chef who handed me a packed lunch along with a bowl of simple miso soup. Feeling the hunger in my stomach, I started eating quietly, grateful for the food.

I've been grateful for the littlest things nowadays, I mused, sipping the soup. For the food, for courteous coworkers, for a soft futon to sleep on, for being outside.

"So, Sute-san, how're you settling in?" one person asked. "It's been almost a month now since you came."

I swallowed a bite before saying, "It's good. Everyone has been kind and helpful, so I haven't had trouble getting used to it here."

"Master Shoyo must favor you a lot since you're always helping him out in his office," another commented. He sounded a little envious. I had noted earlier that all of the servants in the Shoyo manor deeply respected Diplomat Shoyo and wished to be recognized by him.

"That's because Sute-chan is smart," a servant girl interjected. "She can read and write better than any of us, so obviously she can do things that the rest of us can't."

I often forgot how low the literacy rates were in this world. I had been surrounded with people who knew how to read and write well, but the majority of the people in the capital were peasants who never held a book in their hands. It was a bit of a shock to see the stark contrast of civilians in Konoha with the peasants in the capital. I felt like I was thrown back in time whenever this fact hit me in the face.

Lunch ended without commotion and I went to my own room in the servant wing since I had finished my assigned duties for the afternoon. I'd have to go out for the evening when Diplomat Shoyo returns from the courts today.

Since there weren't that many servants, each of us got to have our own room. Compared to other noble house servants, we were treated really well. The room was a simple rectangle shape with tatami mats, a futon, and a closet. I had a window that opened towards the center of the manor, giving me a beeline to Diplomat Shoyo's private quarters. I suspected that this was so that I could run to him immediately if there was an urgent situation.

The shinobi clothes I had gotten from Root were folded and bundled with a linen cloth, stashed in the closet. The tantō was hidden underneath my servant clothes. I never left the room without it.

All of the servants, including myself, wore the same uniform during the day when we worked. Servant clothes reflected the dignity of the noble house they served, so our clothes would have the colors of the Shoyo family which were white and yellow. However, wearing such light toned colors was unsuitable for servant work since stains, dirt, and grime would show up easily on the cloth. Instead, we wore sturdy yellow shirts underneath simple dark grey kimonos for everyday wear. We each had a separate set of more formal kimonos in dark yellow and light grey for important functions.

I took off my servant robe, hanging it on the wooden rack standing in the corner of the room. A small mirror hung on the wall above a basic basin with water to wash up in the mornings. I caught my reflection, observing the dead look in my eye.

Even though Danzo didn't require me to change my physical features like my hair or eye color, I looked different after the pit. The biggest difference was that my skin had turned pale after countless days of darkness, but there was also a certain edge in my eyes that hadn't been there before. My shoulders sloped, my gaze always tilted down, my face lacked expressions.

I looked defeated.

It's been a month already.

My days in the Shoyo manor had whirled by without pausing.

As the spring season came around the corner, the courts were bustling with events and activities to prepare for the capital's festivals and holidays. Diplomat Shoyo was a busy man with a packed schedule for each day. My time revolved around his time, especially if he was meeting with people he wanted to monitor.

From the very beginning, Shoyo-sama had dragged me along with him into the thick of politics as he wrestled his way through the drama and power-plays. By his orders, I had to eavesdrop on many conversations behind thin walls, report my findings, and also complete whatever additional tasks he had for me. Like a robot, I listened and obeyed without objecting. Diplomat Shoyo never commanded me to do something extreme, like assassinations, and I prayed that it would stay that way. The only incident that caused some sweat was preventing a gang assault when he stepped outside the capital for a day. He was pleased to confirm that I could be a bodyguard in addition to being a mind reader.

For the most part, I was spying on people, delivering secret messages, checking on his pawns, and 'scanning' his targets' chakras. Other than that, it was straightforward secretary work such as organizing his office, preparing papers or scrolls for meetings, tracking his schedules and meetings, keeping his desk clean and orderly, and other menial chores.

Today, I had the rare afternoon to myself instead of having to follow Diplomat Shoyo to the court halls. For the first time in a long, long while, I was finally alone.

I slumped against a wall and slid to the floor. A ragged breath flew out of my mouth and I pressed my hands together in front of me.

I'm tired.

It wasn't a physical sense of being tired. I slept well at night. I ate balanced meals every day. Even though I have a lot of responsibilities, I wasn't severely overworked. Diplomat Shoyo was a slave driver, but he watched over his servants like caring for dogs.

There was just something inside me that was… slowing down, exhausted from strain.

Ryouta and Yuuma, I thought of my younger brothers.

They think I'm dead. Their remaining family.

Thinking of the twins hurt. I wanted to see them.

I pressed the palms of my hand against my eyes, silently telling myself to push out the intruding thoughts. It was easier to not think of them, to avoid thinking of everything about Konoha, when I was busy.

And I still don't remember what I said to Minato and Jiraiya.

Root agents would drop by, checking if I could recall something, but each time I didn't have anything to say. I hated thinking about the memory seal, too. With some reasoning, I deduced that Jiraiya must have configured the seal to activate once I saw Danzo's face.

They sealed my memories because they don't want Danzo to know what I told them, but they also didn't fight to keep me away from him. It's like they took the important pages out of a book and left the remains for Danzo to pick up only to find that the pages were missing. And it's the same for me. I want to know what they took from me. It's a part of me, a part of who I am, I know it is, but they sealed it away because they didn't want Danzo to find out whatever it is. In the end, they just cared that Danzo wouldn't get his hands on my memories.

I tried to think of my life in its entirety. My parents' faces, Nobuyuki Ryouichi and Natsumi, blurred in my mind, but I felt vaguely unsatisfied with just them, like I wanted more than them. The same feeling came when the twins came to mind, my insides just wanted more, aching for something that I didn't remember.

Well, if Danzo said he was going to find out what it is in due time, then he probably will. When that time comes, things will really get messy in Konoha.

It's a good thing I'm here, away from the village.

A part of me wanted it all to end. Another part of me wanted to live and find out why this was happening to me and escape everything. It was hard to come to an agreement between the two opposing forces within me, the ambiguous feelings left me at loss for what to do.

I wanted nothing more than to just escape. I wished I wasn't in this situation, that I never got caught in the first place.

I stared at the wall in front of me.

It could be worse, I contemplated with a hollow tone. It could definitely be worse. Being here is much better than the pit.

With the past month, I was beginning to feel comfortable in the Shoyo estate. The routine was growing familiar, and being with Diplomat Shoyo wasn't as scary as before. The man had high expectations for everything, but he also wasn't unreasonable. I was actually learning so much by watching him every day, about handling politics, the traditions of courts, brokering negotiations and trade, and more. Shoyo-sama had a way of being both charismatic and intimidating, and I knew that he was manipulating me as well, to make me more loyal. Despite knowing that, I tried my best to not disappoint him because I feared the consequences of letting him down. It would just take a word for Danzo to know that I wasn't fulfilling his expectations and I was afraid that he'd make do with his threat.

I wanted to believe that Shoyo-sama was gratified with having me around. A lot of his plans had sped up in execution since my chakra sensing abilities cleared several obstacles for him. He was also having an easier time discerning lies because of me which saved time in tracking down facts and details. He's been entrusting me with more and more responsibilities with each week and he even imparted a lesson or two every once in a while to better train me for upcoming events. Diplomat Shoyo never beat around the bush with me and he rarely hid details from me, expecting full obedience and loyalty. I wasn't worried about being forced to spill secrets should anyone interrogate me because of the Root tattoo on my tongue that Danzo had sealed on me before I left Konoha. Shoyo-sama was fully aware that I was sent by Danzo for him to use, but he didn't treat me like Danzo did.

It felt… nice, to be trusted. To be used without being beaten down.

It could be worse, I repeated to myself.

x

Okay, so to be clear, Haru has her past life memories sealed away along with the memories during solitary confinement.

Roughly a year and a few months have passed. Haru is fourteen years old. She's kinda warped now, can you tell?

I think this chapter is choppy and the pace is rushed, so I'm not satisfied, but at this point I'm just trying to finish the story. Seriously, thank you all for the reviews, they really encourage me to write.