Chapter 28 - Value
Time crawled as Hermione watched Narcissa carefully remove a long blond hair from a folded cloth napkin and place it in a vial of prepared polyjuice potion. Vaguely, Hermione wondered how Narcissa could tell her hair apart from that of her husband's, but she expected Narcissa would not make the kind of mistake Hermione had made when she accidentally mistaken cat fur for Millicent Bulstrode's hair back in second year. Narcissa stood, held the potion up, and lifted it to her lips.
"Mother, are you certain?" Malfoy asked her, fear in his every breath from where he stood at her side.
Narcissa held his gaze and drank the potion. Her form changed quickly, and Hermione was surprised to see her clothes morph with her during the transition. When the image of Lucius Malfoy appeared dressed immaculately in robes tailored to his form, Hermione couldn't help it. "How did you manage the clothes?" she asked.
Narcissa looked directly at her and smirked, a very disturbing thing to see on Lucius's face. "A lesson for another time, Miss Granger," she said in Lucius's rich, deep voice. "It's good to see you," she added.
"It worked. You can see and hear her," Malfoy said with awe, looking between his mother and Hermione. "But can you..?"
"Remember yourself, Draco," Narcissa interjected. "I wish to speak with her first. Alone."
Malfoy stiffened, then turned to Hermione. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but his eyes shifted to his mother, and he closed his mouth again.
"I'll be alright," Hermione said. Of course, she didn't quite believe it, but she still had to see this through. It was moments like this that reminded her why she had been sorted into Gryffindor.
Malfoy studied her a moment longer before nodding firmly. He narrowed his eyes at Narcissa. "Mother," he said in a warning tone.
Narcissa raised an eyebrow at Malfoy. "I have no desire to harm Miss Granger. You can leave her."
Malfoy clenched his fists and held his ground. "Will you obliviate her before I return?" he asked his mother in a tight voice.
Narcissa rolled her eyes and put a hand on her hip, making a rather comical appearance as Lucius. "Draco, you should know by now that your well-being and happiness are my first priority." When Malfoy still hesitated, Narcissa smiled, though her eyes were sad. "I won't do anything to her memory before you return," she promised.
Malfoy sighed, glanced once more at Hermione, and exited the room, leaving Hermione alone with his polyjuiced mother.
Hermione stared at Narcissa while gathering her thoughts. Seeing Lucius with the knowledge that it was Narcissa was quite disconcerting, but the fear of what might come of their tete-a-tete was worse. For her part, Narcissa seemed entirely at peace with the situation. She gracefully sat back down at Professor Snape's desk, conjured a chair across from it, and gestured for Hermione to sit in it.
Hermione moved silently to the chair with her eyes on Narcissa and stumbled on the chair in the process. Righting herself and blushing at her error, Hermione stared up at Narcissa's mildly surprised and concerned expression in Lucius's face. Somehow, Hermione had expected to find censure or mocking amusement. She didn't know what to think now.
"Please, sit, Miss Granger," Narcissa requested in Lucius's deep voice.
Hermione sighed and carefully lowered herself into the chair. She crossed her ankles, dusted off her uniform skirt, and placed her hands in her lap before looking up to meet Narcissa's eyes… or should she call them Lucius's eyes? Honestly, this whole thing was confusing and rather terrifying. She fought the urge to hug herself.
"Tell me. Why do you think I asked to speak with you away from Draco?" Narcissa asked Hermione.
Hermione's lips parted, but then she shook her head slowly. "I don't know," Hermione admitted. "He said you wanted to free me, so I guess you might want to know what I might have learned or planned before you obliviate me and try to break the curse…" Her brow knitted together. "Of course, it would be sensible to put in safe-guards against my betraying your family in the future, though I don't know exactly how you would.." Hermione fell quiet and considered. "An unbreakable vow would likely be the simplest solution, as I could not betray an unbreakable vow even if I had forgotten about it." Hermione chewed her bottom lip in thought.
Narcissa smiled at her slowly. "An unbreakable vow is an excellent option for the circumstance, and yet that's not what I asked."
Hermione blushed lightly. "No, it isn't, and you would need a third person present for the unbreakable vow anyway, so you don't intend to perform one yet." Hermione took in a slow, deep breath and let it out. A thought occurred to her, and she felt the blush spread to her ears. "This is about the letters, isn't it," she stated in a flat voice.
Narcissa leaned an elegant elbow forward and rested her chin on it, or Lucius's chin on it. Hermione wrinkled her nose. There really ought to be some sort of standard on how to refer to a person when they are polyjuiced as someone else. Perhaps Hermione could write to the Wizengamot about the importance of…
"I did hear a rumor," Narcissa began. She raised an eyebrow.
Hermione stared at Narcissa blankly a moment before recalling the topic at hand. The letters. Right. "I supposed Malfoy's already told you his perspective," Hermione said, wondering exactly how much Narcissa knew.
Narcissa straightened back up and placed her hands flat on the table before sweeping them out to the sides. Her eyes stayed on her right hand. "I understand you volunteered to help him."
Hermione felt the blush creep up again at her memories of the night she and Malfoy had worked together on the letters and how much her feelings had evolved in the process. Of course, she hadn't been interested in him at first. How odd that just a few days ago, she had only seen helping him as a means to an end. "A lot happened," Hermione finally said.
Narcissa said nothing.
Hermione took a deep breath, knowing that Narcissa expected her to explain, but how much should she explain? Hermione fiddled with her skirts and looked down, not quite having the courage in the moment to meet the eyes of Malfoy's mother. "I don't know where to start," Hermione finally said.
Narcissa tilted her head to the side, considering Hermione. "When my husband and I visited Draco a few days ago, my son indicated that you two had spoken, but not that you were close."
"Right," Hermione said. She could go from there. "When I had discovered that he was the only one who could see or hear me that morning, I had asked for his help. We weren't friends. I don't even know if we had spoken this school year." Hermione bit her bottom lip and creased her forehead against the regret she felt. "I wasn't… He's… I mean…" Hermione took another deep breath. "I never tried to know him before, and I know it's only been a few days, but…" Hermione felt tears come to her eyes, and she realized she had been dangerously close to confessing her feelings. She blinked slowly a few times as she reorganized her thoughts. "I don't want to be cursed, but…" She frowned. What was the right way to phrase it? "I would miss him," she finally said.
Narcissa's eyes lightened, and just a hint of a smile graced her lips before disappearing. "You've come to value my son?"
Hermione couldn't control the blush that spread across her. "He's…" Memories of her pleasure when Malfoy turned out to be an excellent pretend correspondent, her frustration at his teasing her about sharing a bed, her shock when he didn't shut her out despite his anger at her, and more surfaced. However, the memories then took a darker turn as she recalled the many times he mocked her and showed cruelty, even just a few minutes ago in this room. Of course, she had reason to suspect he had been manipulating her for her own sake each time, but what if he hadn't done it for her? And even if he had, did that really make it okay?
"Has something happened?" Narcissa asked, her voice suddenly firmer and harsher.
Hermione stared at her blankly, confused at the change in tone.
"Allow me to rephrase. Has my son done something to you?" Narcissa asked. "Has he forced himself on you in some way?"
Hermione's eyes shot wide open, and she shook her head before she was able to speak. "No! He rejected me, actually!" Narcissa's jaw fell open slightly, and Hermione clamped a hand over her own mouth for a second before realizing the damage had been done, and she may as well get it all out.
Hermione removed her hand slowly and hugged herself while avoiding eye contact. "He would never force himself on me-not like that." Hermione looked up as a thought occurred to her. "Is that why you wanted to speak to me alone? To learn what he had done to me?" A second thought came to her mind, and Hermione let out a single hysterical-sounding chuckle. "Or perhaps simply if we're intimate at all? You don't need to worry yourself there," Hermione said, and unbidden tears slid down her cheeks. She summoned a tissue and blew her nose. "I can't say he didn't try eventually, but it wasn't because he fancied me or anything. He just knew…" Hermione's voice broke with pain. "He knew I fancied him, and he thought that…" Hermione trembled with hurt. "He thought I wouldn't mind, but I do." She wiped her face, cleared her nose again, and forced a smile as she finally lifted her eyes to Narcissa. "So you see, you have nothing to fear."
The expression Narcissa wore was such a mix of things that Hermione had no idea how to interpret it, especially through Lucius's form. Silence fell for several long moments.
"Are you telling me that my son tried to seduce you?" Narcissa asked, her voice incredulous.
Hermione flinched. Did Narcissa think she was lying? "Only once, and only after he discovered I fancied him. He's not got any friends at school. He's lonely. That's all," Hermione explained.
Narcissa abruptly stood up and began pacing the space behind the desk while massaging her scalp. She paused after about three rounds and swiveled to face Hermione. "And you don't have a problem with this? His seducing you for such a pathetic, selfish reason?"
Hermione's eyes widened as she realized that Narcissa's distress was not that her son had tried to seduce her, but why he had tried to seduce her. Shaking her head briefly to clear it, she sat up straighter. "Of course, I do!" She sagged into the chair with a sigh. "But I also should have known better." A self-deprecating laugh escaped Hermione. "I couldn't even convince my prat of an ex-boyfriend that I was worth it, and that was after years of being close and on the same side in the war." Hermione realized Narcissa was staring at her with an expression that was something between pity and disgust. Hermione winced and looked away. "Sorry. I'm not very good at shutting it," she said in a small voice.
"Miss Granger," Narcissa said firmly, and Hermione snapped to attention. "Never let a man's actions decide your worth," Narcissa commanded.
Hermione's jaw dropped. "Oh… Okay," she said hesitantly. It wasn't that she disagreed with Narcissa on the subject, but rather that her heart refused to trust it.
"I also feel I may need to make something clear. I do not fear the idea of my son's… involvement with you, Miss Granger," Narcissa said in a kinder tone. "You are no one to be ashamed of an association with. I confess I'm rather surprised of your interest, especially considering the history between you two."
Hermione blushed. "He's not what I expected. I knew he could be cruel. I've known that since we were first years together, but I didn't know he could be kind too, and I rather enjoyed making those letters with him, even if they were fake…" Hermione bit her lip, knowing there were a dozen reasons that Malfoy had won her over despite everything else. "He's considerate of my needs, he's fun to be around, not to mention quite handsome," Hermione said with a bit of an embarrassed laugh for admitting it out loud.
Narcissa merely smiled, and so Hermione continued.
"He didn't cut me off when he was angry at me. He even got angry on my behalf when he discovered that Ron and Harry often did just that. His words are harsh and downright awful sometimes, but his actions…" Hermione paused to search for words that would describe what she felt. "He wouldn't be lonely anymore if everyone saw what I could see."
Silence fell heavily in the room as Hermione realized she had nothing else to say. She rubbed her arms and stared at the door, wondering when Malfoy would return.
Narcissa walked around the desk to Hermione's side and knelt down to Hermione's level. "Thank you, Miss Granger, for seeing beyond the past. Tell me, what do you want from the future?"
Hermione blinked. Did Narcissa mean her future with Malfoy? In general? "I want to be freed from the curse, of course," Hermione said. "To graduate, find work… There are offers, but most of them seem to be based on my status as Harry Potter's best friend. I hadn't quite thought beyond that yet. I expected that…" Hermione trailed off. She didn't want to talk about Ron Weasley with Malfoy's mother. She took a deep breath. "I wanted to learn more about the Ministry and the Wizengamot. So little of our education at Hogwarts looks at wizarding government and how reform is brought around, but that's what interests me. There has been so much intolerance, both before and since the war. It's not right."
"Intolerance of muggle-borns such as yourself?" Narcissa asked.
Hermione smiled sadly. "Well, yes, but also of the purebloods who fell in with You-Know-Who. We'll only repeat history if we don't find a way to help us move past the war." Hermione looked at the cursed bracelet on her wrist. She had become so used to it now that she hardly thought of it. "Objects like this should be destroyed, but coming after your husband for putting me in this position won't make things better. More years in Azkaban won't suddenly make him more tolerant, and more attention to his wrongs will harm you and Malfoy. There has to be a better way."
Hermione sighed. "I don't know how much power I have to keep Harry from coming down on your family for what's happened to me, but I will do what I can."
"And yet, convenient as it would be to me and Draco to have Lucius's crimes overlooked, he should answer for what he has done to all of us," Narcissa said in an icy tone. "Miss Granger, may I see the bracelet?"
Hermione felt anticipation ripple through her. "Yes, of course," she said and held out her wrist.
Narcissa, still polyjuiced as Lucius, took Hermione's wrist and examined the bracelet. Carefully, Narcissa reached out and touched the bracelet, then carefully began pulling it down off Hermione's wrist.
Hermione's heart pounded in her chest and the bracelet slipped onto her hand, but then stuck, as if it could not go further. Narcissa frowned, then checked the bracelet again. "There's no clasp to open."
"It slid right on when I got it," Hermione confirmed.
"The curse must not fully recognize me as the master over the curse then. Perhaps if Draco used the polyjuice potion as well, then…"
Hermione blanched. Seeing Narcissa as Lucius was awkward, but seeing Draco as his father? Somehow that was much worse.
Narcissa removed her wand and said, "Expecto Patronum." A silver lioness came out and began prowling the room. "Please go collect Draco for us." The lioness bounded off, and Narcissa returned to the professor's chair on the other side of the desk.
"What will you do if this doesn't work?" Hermione asked her, trying to ignore the fact that she had just seen a lion, the symbol of Gryffindor, come out of a Slytherin's wand.
Narcissa lightly shrugged. "I speak to my husband, of course." She looked to Hermione and smirked in a very Malfoy-like fashion. "I'll need to set some measures in place to protect you and Draco, of course, but do you really think my husband will allow a curse to remain that has resulted in his son seducing a muggle-born?"
Hermione gulped. "I think he'll try to kill or obliviate me."
"That's what the safe-measures will be for. I won't allow harm to come to someone my son values."
Hermione bit her bottom lip and looked down.
"You don't think my son values you?" Narcissa asked her gently.
Hermione shook her head. "No, it's not that… well, not entirely. I know he values having someone there, but is that the same as valuing me?" Hermione frowned. "Will he still want to know me when I can see my other friends?"
"Why wouldn't he?" Narcissa asked.
"Because the curse…" Hermione took a deep breath. "WIth the curse, he didn't have to actually trust me. He could trust the curse to keep my silence, but with it broken…" Hermione hugged herself. "He said just a few minutes ago that he wants to keep me in the curse so he can keep me to himself. I don't know that he meant it, but I don't even want to be in a… friendship like that. I'm not a possession!"
Narcissa's eyes hardened. "Draco said that?"
Hermione trembled. "It's possible I misunderstood him," she said, fearing suddenly that she may have unintentionally caused a divide between him and his mother. She had not forgotten the warning Malfoy had given her regarding using his mother against him.
Someone knocked on the door, and Narcissa stood. "Miss Granger, from one witch to another, you have every right to be furious with my son right now. You are not a possession, nor should he ever treat you as one. However, as his mother, I hope that you look past his words to his actions. The Dark Lord's presence in our home changed many things, and though Slytherins are never fond of adopting the blatant honesty that Gryffindors seem to wear as a badge of honor, I fear that Draco had to take it a step further for his own safety. Now, does my son treat you like a possession?"
The knocking came on the door again, more impatient this time.
Hermione swallowed and thought back on how Draco had acted… stopping her when he feared she wasn't thinking clearly, treating her body and belongings with respect even when he was angry and she was unconscious, and insisting she had her wand even though she wouldn't tell him what he wanted to know. Even in the seduction, he had gone slowly, watching her reactions carefully, and backed off initially when she showed hesitation. He had been pushy at times… like when he saw her crying in his room, and when he saw she had ink all over her arms, but they all seemed tied to concern and determination to help. Really, the last time he had tried to order her around had been following potions class before the letters and everything else, and that seemed like a lifetime ago now.
"No, he doesn't treat me like a possession," Hermione admitted, and her heart filled with both warmth and pain at the realization. Judging by his actions alone, Malfoy cared quite a bit for her, and yet… his words could be beyond cruel. What good was the knowledge that he cared if he still hurt her anyway? She was tired of it. Between her experiences with Malfoy and Ron, she was thinking that a nice, quiet future with only cats for companionship might be rather lovely.
The knocking came again, even more demanding, and they could hear Malfoy's muffled voice through the door.
Narcissa walked over to Hermione and knelt down once more to Hermione's eye-level. "Chin-up, Miss Granger. It's not always easy being a witch, but things will get better." Narcissa tucked one of Hermione's loose curls behind Hermione's ear, smiled at the younger woman, and went to let her son into the room.
Normally this is where I have my end-of-chapter notes, but I'm including this little bonus mini-chapter on Narcissa's perspective after Hermione left her son's room. I wrote it to help me get in her head, and as it no longer contains meaningful spoilers, I'm sharing it here. :) End-of-chapter notes will follow.
Bonus mini-chapter - After Hermione left Malfoy's room
Narcissa seethed inwardly as she watched her son sacrifice his pride for Miss Granger. Under other circumstances, she would be thrilled and likely organize chance opportunities to bring the two together more in the hopes of a future union. She was well aware of how rare a thing it was for a woman to show devotion to her son rather than his fortune. However, a connection made under the duress of a curse was not normal circumstances.
"She's gone?" Narcissa asked when Draco faced her again after asking Miss Granger to sit with him for dinner. Draco nodded, though his head remained low, and his eyes betrayed distraction. "I don't recall," Narcissa stated to draw his attention. "Is Miss Granger very pretty?" she asked, knowing full well her son would understand the direction of her thoughts.
Draco's guard went up immediately. "Why are you really here, Mother?"
Narcissa raised her brow at his attitude. "Am I not allowed to check on my son after he collapses in class?"
Draco snorted. "I've landed in the Hospital Wing a dozen times, Mother, and this is the first time you visited."
"Yes, well you weren't under investigation for the cursing of the best friend of Harry Potter those other times," Narcissa reminded him.
Sullen as ever, Draco squeezed his eyes shut and massaged the bridge of his nose. "Must you remind me? Granger and I spent the entire night inventing a correspondence to use as evidence of our supposed relationship prior to the curse."
A knot untangled in Narcissa's heart. The news of her son's supposed hidden relationship with the Granger girl had disturbed her when she heard it. Her son was her world, and the idea that he had hidden something that important from her... She smiled inwardly. Her son hadn't been keeping the girl a secret from her. "I'm surprised she chose to help you, given the circumstances."
Draco gave his mother a smug smile. "Granger always had a thing for justice. Once I presented myself as a fellow victim, she rushed to rescue me too."
"I see," Narcissa said, though she felt mildly ill at his explanation. It wasn't that she minded his manipulating a young woman to his benefit, but when the girl was already cursed and helpless before them… it felt just a bit too much like kicking a dog when it was down. She had rather expected Draco had more empathy than that now as well. When he was a child, he had been disturbingly ruthless, but in recent years…
"I thought you would be proud," Draco grumbled, eyeing his mother with no small amount of frustration.
Narcissa cocked her head to the side and studied her son. His eyes were so vulnerable. Had he really so little empathy for the Granger girl? Could he have mislead his own mother in a misguided attempt for her approval? Narcissa narrowed her eyes, and she saw pain and fear reflected in her son's expression. No, his heart was not nearly as cold as he pretended, and yet he feared being open with his own mother. Narcissa sighed, knowing this was a consequence of the Dark Lord's constant presence in their lives the last few years. If only... "I would like to speak with her," she found herself saying. She only had a piece of the puzzle before her, and her son was not likely to divulge more. However, the Granger girl was best friends with Potter, who hardly had any filter between his thoughts and his mouth. "Directly," she added. If Miss Granger was anything like Potter, a few minutes alone with the girl would reveal everything Narcissa needed to know for how to act.
Draco literally took a step back, staring at his mother wide-eyed. "Directly? But why? How?"
"I keep fresh polyjuice potion at the manor. Though the curse does not allow me to see Miss Granger as myself, I expect the polyjuice might allow me to view her as Lucius, if not free her entirely."
Draco stared at her with blatant horror and ashen cheeks, but he said nothing. Interesting. He had complained incessantly about the curse to his father just two days ago. Perhaps he feared her retaliation? And yet, Draco would know better than to not expect his mother to have a plan for that.
"Father will be upset," Draco said after a moment.
Narcissa rolled her eyes. "I can handle your father. What I can't handle is every unassigned auror breathing down our necks when we've only barely just escaped being placed in Azkaban ourselves."
Draco started shaking his head slowly, as if in shock. "Mother, I... " He glanced away, clenched his fists, and took a deep breath before facing her again. "Granger has shown me more kindness and understanding in the last two days than anyone else here has in the last half year. If you obliviate her…"
Ah, so he feared being forgotten by the girl. That hadn't been Narcissa's planned course of action. An Unbreakable Vow would be far more sensible, given that they would need Miss Granger's help to dissuade her friends from pursuing answers now that the Malfoy family had been implicated. However, she wondered if pressing the point would loosen her son's lips. "You could always remake her acquaintance after the curse is removed."
Draco scoffed. "Hardly. She couldn't stand me either two days ago. It wasn't until she learned…" He frowned. "Of course, you know best." His head drooped, and his hands went limp at his sides.
Narcissa shook her head sadly, closed the distance, and wrapped her only son into her arms. She was not ready to reveal her full plans to her son, but she didn't want him to suffer needlessly either. "Let me speak to her directly. I am only loosely familiar with Miss Granger, and I want to know who we are dealing with. You're certain she's not manipulating you?"
Draco snorted at that. "Granger's got a reputation for her brilliance, but she's a dolt when it comes to people. She believes far too much in others and far too little in herself. She was shocked when I actually talked to her while I was angry. Apparently the idiots she calls her best friends regularly ignore her for weeks when they're upset! It's absurd!"
Narcissa smiled gently at her son's indignation on Miss Granger's behalf, recognizing that her son had just revealed quite a lot regarding his own feelings towards the Granger girl. Whether he knew it or not, Draco was well on his way towards falling for the young woman.
"Let me speak with her, Draco," Narcissa said gently.
Draco sighed and relaxed in her embrace. "Okay."
Narcissa nuzzled her head against her son's. She had not expected her son and Miss Granger to become close under the curse, but she would not hesitate to use it to further her son's security and happiness. The fact that her husband would be infuriated at the ironic turn of events was not bad either.
Narcissa smirked. Her next visit to Azkaban would be most entertaining.
I can't believe this chapter took me over a month to get together! Ugh, I'm sorry, and thank you for your patience. I hope the wait was worth it.
It's really hard to clue y'all into my reality without oversharing. Lots of health stuff, kitten adoptions, and local pandemic craziness has happened. As far as I know, my family has still escaped COVID-19, though we managed to catch a stomach bug last week somehow. Go figure, right?
Oh, and Black Lives Matter. I mean, it's hard to imagine anyone reading a fic about Hermione, Champion of All Underdogs, and not supporting real-world systemic change to help those who have suffered due to systemic bias against them, but yea, racism is very real and still exists today throughout the United States, and Black Lives Matter.
Wear your masks, do your social distancing when possible, and stay safe, y'all!