Chapter 32

One thousand four hundred sixty-seven days after Praimfaya

Octavia was going over reports in her office. The last few days had been quiet and, she was thankful for it. Abby and Kara had managed to create a sufficient protein rich ant and cricket for them to consume. It was a boon, but she was still wary of Abby's condition. She was worried about her, but she didn't know what to do or who to trust enough to deal with her.

Delfina had come to her weeks ago and warned her of Abby's need for the pills. Niylah had confirmed that Abby was using more than her need, but she was doing as Octavia asked and covering Abby's tracks. Jackson knew that Abby was acting off, but he just figured that she needed rest. He'd gone to Octavia in hopes that she would order Abby to stand down for a little while. It wasn't a hard request, but she knew that Abby wouldn't listen to reason. She needed to find another way to make Abby see that she needed the time away.

She looked up from her reports when there was a knock at her door. Looking to the door and then the clock, her brow drew up in puzzlement. She didn't think that she scheduled meetings for the quickly ran through everything that she knew was pending and the projects that the different sections were working on. Nothing came to mind.

She knew that she needed to meet with Miller and Indra later. She had told Indra to start breaking up the Army into battalions and assigning captains. Miller was to break up the guards into companies that would work and report to a battalion. She gave them a week to get everything straight. She also knew that Miller was working with Indra on writing out the information. They were making sure that there was at least one member of rank from Skaikru, who could read and write, attached to the cadre of each battalion in order to get Octavia her desired reports.

Gaia and Kane were moving along with their teachings. Gaia had begun to integrate the mythology of the Starling and Earthling into her teachings. Kane had questioned it at first, but once Octavia stated that it was a common legend amongst the Grounders, he backed down. He actually began to read up on it, thinking it was to help Gaia make it a more universal myth for their building of Wonkru, Neither Octavia or Gaia corrected him. For one, she didn't want Kane on her case about it and she knew that Gaia still wasn't sold on the whole idea.

She knew that Clarke was going to broadcast late as she and Madi were going into their winter hunting grounds to make sure that the traps were ready before the snows started. She'd been charting the seasons with Clarke. It was a mindless activity, but after listening to Clarke for the last few years, she knew that it would useful knowledge when they got back to the ground. Being a head of the game would help her prep the masses when they descended upon the Valley. She also knew that she would elevate Clarke not only to her Council but to her side.

Whoever it was knocked again. She dropped her pen on her papers and stood. She was at a loss of who it could, so her curiosity won out. She knew that whoever it was had gotten passed her door guards. She knew this meant one of two things. It was either Indra, Miller, or Gaia. Or it was another member of the guard. She was going with the latter.

"Enter," Octavia said as she stood about five feet from the door, hand rest on a dagger, just in case.

The door opened and it was Delphina. The woman looked ragged and rather like she didn't want to be there. Octavia started thinking about her last meeting with Delphina and knew that she ordered the woman to check in with her every two weeks as it pertained to Abby, but it had been less than a week. The pained looked in her dark eyes gave Octavia pause and she knew that it had to be about Abby.

"Delphina?"

"Blodreina," she replied with a salute.

"What's wrong?"

"Fisaheda..."

"Abi kom Wonkru?"

"Sha, Blodreina," Delphina answered.

"What of her?"

"She's heavy with drink."

"We have no alcohol," Octavia mused and then she realized what Delphina meant. "She's hungover? She's drunk?"

"Sha."

"I'll see to her. Clear medical and find Jackson. Call him or his sekkon."

"Sha, Blodreina," Delphina replied, saluted and was out the door quickly.

Octavia took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Closing her eyes, she wished that Clarke was there. She wished that she could tell Abby that Clarke was alive and that she was fine, but she knew that she couldn't put more pressure on her doctor. Especially now it seemed.

She walked across her office. She grabbed her cape and put it on. It was time to pay Abby an official visit.

She stepped out of the office, sword on her side and felt Miller fall into step with her. Two other guards came as well, leaving one at her office. It She worked her way through the halls. Today, she actually stopped to acknowledge all the people that stopped to acknowledge her. She chatted with them and listened to their complaints, getting Miller to take notes as needed. She would address them all later and pass them along to the Council as needed.

It didn't take them long to get to the Med Bay. She was glad that people had been stopping her on the way because it gave her time to calm down and prepare to meet with Abby alone. She knew that she was about to do something drastic and she knew that it was going to cost her time and a lot of energy, but she refused to let Abby die.

"When I get Abby in her office, seal off Medical. Tell Jackson and his sekkon that they are in charge of medical until further notice. Have Jackson create an new roster. Get to Abby's quarters and gather her things. Move them to my room. She'll be staying with me until I give further orders."

"Sha," Miller answered.

She watched as he tasked one of the guards to go to Abby's quarters. The other guard was posted just inside medical and, Octavia could tell that Miller had tasked him with giving Jackson his new orders. Miller was posting up outside of Abby's office in the med bay. Octavia knocked on the office door and waited. There was some obvious commotion inside. Octavia cocked an eyebrow at Miller, but neither of them made to open the door. Octavia was really trying to let Abby come to her, but she realized that Abby was going to hide her pain. She no longer had the luxury of letting Abby keep going as she was. She knocked again.

"One of the fisas will take care of you!" Abby called from inside the office.

Octavia shook her head. This was not going to be easy. She turned and looked at Miller. He silently pointed to Jackson.

"Jackson, open the door," Octavia told him.

The younger doctor looked at Octavia and then the door. He looked at Miller and realized that they were there for an intervention. Octavia was going to to force Abby to wean herself off the pills. He hadn't succeeded, so he hoped that Octavia would. He reached into his pocket and pulled out some sort of key from his pocket. Octavia knocked again. Abby called out in very broken Trig for her patient to find one of the fisas working in medical to help them. Jackson closed his eyes, let out a breath and unlocked the door for Miller and Octavia.

She paused. It was reflexive. She didn't want to barge in, but she needed to deal with Jackson. She needed to find out more about the drugs that Abby was on. She wasn't stupid, but she didn't know what she was up against.

"Jackson," she said and he paused.

"Yes?"

"What is the drug she's on?"

"It a pain pill," Jackson replied.

"What is the proper dosage?"

"What?"

"How much would you give normally?"

"Four to five pills a day, no more," Jackson told her.

"Any more will cause what?"

"Addiction and dependency," Jackson replied.

"And, how would you deal with that?"

"Either cut them off or make sure that their dosage was followed and reduced slowly until the patient could be weaned off the pills and onto something else or off completely," Jackson stated.

"And, what would you do with Abby?"

"Segregation and wean her off of it," Jackson replied.

"Good, then that is what I'll do. Abby will move into my office and room. I will care for her. You or Niylah will bring her drugs to my office. I want you to do an inventory of those pills and let me know how many we have. I know that it is a finite amount. I also know that Niylah has been working with the Farm to produce more natural drugs for you and us while we're here."

"She is," Jackson stated.

"Good. You are going to be in charge of Medical until I deem Abby fit for service again. We cannot afford to lose her. I will not lose her. Is that understood, Jackson?" Octavia questioned.

"Sha, Blodreina," Jackson answered.

"Niylah, Miller and you are the only ones that will be allowed to come to the office. Figure out how to get some sun lamps into the office as well. I will be staying with her until she is ready to be on her own again," Octavia stated as she reached for the door once again.

She didn't wait for another answer. She opened the door and entered by herself. She didn't know what she was going to do, only that she had to find a way to get through to Abby. She wanted her to come back to her office willingly, but if she refused, she'd have Jackson deal with it for her. She could not and would not let Abby die on her watch. And, she had two reasons for that. One was that she needed her doctor to help them stay alive because of all of her knowledge and strength as the head doctor and surgeon from the Ark, and the other was Clarke.

"Hello, Abby," Octavia stated as she entered the office and sat down in the chair opposite the desk.

Abby didn't acknowledge her, so Octavia took the time to look her over. Abby looked older. She knew that the years in the bunker had been hard on her, but if Octavia had to guess, she would say that the reason she could see gray in Abby's hair now was because Clarke wasn't there with them. It was a blow that Abby just couldn't get over. She believed that Clarke was dead or worse. Octavia had tried to keep her spirits up, telling her that Clarke made it to the rocket and was in space. She knew it was a lie, but it was something to keep Abby's spirits up. Evidently, she hadn't been telling her enough. Abby looked ragged and tired.

"Abby," Octavia stated again, but Abby kept at her journals and notes before her.

Sighing, Octavia stood up and rounded the desk. She sat down on it next to Abby. The doctor still didn't acknowledge her. Octavia was beyond frustrated at this point. Huffing, she reached down and pulled the tablet from Abby's hands and sat it on the desk, before kicking her chair away from the desk completely.

"ABBY!" she practically yelled at the doctor, finally catching her attention, and knowing that Miller was guarding the door, so no one else would come in at the sound of her voice.

Abby's dark brown eyes flicked up into Octavia's green. She could see the worry and the devastation in them. She reached out to touch Abby's shoulder.

"It's okay, Abby. We'll get through this. Remember Clarke is alive. She's on the Go-Sci Ring with Bell. They'll be back soon. Everything will be okay," Octavia told her and watched her as the words started to make sense.

"We don't know that," Abby countered.

"No, we don't, but we have to believe that they will be back and that we will find a way out. We know that the hatch is blocked but, that doesn't mean that they won't get us out. We can't give up. We don't give up, Abby. We fight. That is what we always do. That is what Clarke always does. She fights to protect us, to save us, so now we have to do the same for her. We have to be worthy to be back on the ground," Octavia her told and then waved her hands around the office. "But, this isn't the way to do it, Abby, and you know it."

Abby broke down. Crying deep, painful sobs, she broke. Falling out of the chair, Octavia jumped off the desk and caught her before she hit the concrete floor. She let Abby break down and just held her until the sobs started to tapper off.

"I can't let you die, Abby. I promised Clarke that I would take care of all of us. That includes you," Octavia told her.

"We both know that it was Clarke at the hatch, Octavia. She's dead. I have no family left. There is nothing for me but pain."

"That is not true, Abby. We don't know anything about what is going on the surface. Monty and Raven calculated everything, they know that we can resurface in another year. We will. We'll find a way. We can't give up. You can't give up. Clarke would want you to fight. She fought for us so we could fight for the bunker," Octavia stated.

"You fought for the bunker," Abby countered.

"She fought to find it. She tried to make sure that we would survive. She had the idea to go to space and survive there when she knew that she and Bell wouldn't make it back before the Death Wave hit. We have to believe that they made it. If we don't, it will drive us insane. I know it hurts, Abby, but we need each other. We need you to be our doctor, but you can't. Not like this. You've succumb to the pills, Abby. I need you sober."

"I can still work," Abby told her.

"You might be able to work, but I am not going to let you. I need you sober, Abby. Clarke needs you sober. Do you think that she wants to find you like this? Do you think that she wants me to give you back to her like this?"

"That's a low blow," Abby stated.

"But, it's the truth," Octavia replied.

"I can't. I can't... I just can't."

"I know, Abby. I know. I remember Raven before, too. I'm going to take care of you. We'll get through this. You're coming with me to my office. We'll get you sober. I promise," Octavia told her.

Helping her to stand up, Octavia righted them both. She looked deep into Abby's eyes. She still didn't see any hope, but she didn't look as devastated as she had minutes before. She wouldn't let Abby die, and she was done letting her poison herself with the pills to fight the pain. Abby needed to embrace it and fight through or she would succumb fully.

It took more time, but finally, Octavia got her out of the medical office and into the heart of the medical bay. Jackson gave her a watery smile and wished them luck as they headed for the door. Before Octavia opened the door, she covered Abby with her coat and grabbed her medical bag. When Abby had both secured, she looked to Octavia and watched as Octavia suddenly looked ill.

"Time to get me back to my quarters, right Doc?" Octavia questioned.

Abby stared at her for a moment before she nodded. She realized that it was a cover story. Abby nodded again and swept her hand, shakily, at the door.

Octavia nodded and opened the door. Miller and the two other guards were on her in an instant. Delphina had shown up and joined the crowd as they worked their way back up in the bunker to Octavia's office. Jackson followed leaving one of the Grounder fisas in charge until his return with Niylah.

Once they were safely inside her quarters, Octavia escorted Abby into her bedroom. She left the guards in the office and had Jackson follow her. While Abby watched, they searched everything for her pills. They found two more bottles. Jackson took them and then he left. Octavia watched as Abby looked around the office. She could tell that she was scared.

"Why are doing this?"

"I already told you," Octavia replied.

"For Clarke?"

"That's one reason," Octavia stated.

"And, the other is that you can't afford to lose me," Abby told her cynically.

"That's true. I can't. You are the best doctor and you've managed to get all the fisas working together. I can't let you go...especially like this."

"I'll hate you for this."

"I'm okay with that, Abby."

She said nothing more, but Octavia watched her as she tried to acclimatize herself to Octavia's office and bedroom. Octavia looked over to her clock. It was almost time for Clarke's broadcast. She dug around and found a sedative that Jackson had slipped her before he left. Crossing the room to Abby, she snuck it in and stuck her with the needle. Helping Abby to her own bed, she laid the woman down.

"Why?"

"Rest Abby."

"And, you?"

"I'll sleep on the couch like normal. Rest now. Get better...for Clarke," Octavia told her as she watched to sedative claim Abby.

Shaking her head, she moved back into the office, slightly closing the door that separated the bedroom from the office. She dropped in the chair before the radio and turned it on, making sure to keep the volume low. She closed her eyes and leaned back in the chair. She hoped that Clarke had some good news for her today. She needed it.

"Hey, Bell. Hope you're well. I am okay. I just really miss Mom today. We've fought so much over the year before going into the bunker... I just hope that she knows I love her. She's all I've got left, except for Madi. She's my family. I can't lose her, Bell. I can't... I can't lose any of you..."

"She needs you, too, Clarke. Stay safe. Ste yuj," Octavia replied, even though she knew that Clarke couldn't hear her. "Ste yuj gon yur Nomon." (Stay strong for you mother.)