A/N: Alright, guys, I got some news you should hear!
I'm excited to announce that the story- I Am Rose Quartz- will be a series, rather than a single book. There's a loooot of stuff I have planned that I can't cram into one thing without it being overwhelming - so consider this 'part one' of the IARQ series. So! Part one will end with Chapter 30, and will be continued as a sequel (and with some little one-shots and snippets in between about Steven and his recovery). So there will be a brief hiatus between part one and part two.
Hope you enjoy the chapter! We've got one more to go...
Thankfully, Steven's dreams were nightmare-free after that. He fell asleep beside Garnet, curled up in her arms while the fusion held him close and steady and safe. Honestly, the contact alone was enough to put him at ease. He knew he could trust her. He knew she wouldn't hurt him. He knew she loved him, and that was what mattered. As long as he knew that, then he was safe. So he didn't have much trouble falling asleep, feeling Garnet's fingers run through his hair and staring up at the sky until he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. His head dropped against Garnet's shoulder, managing a tiny smile when he felt her lips press against the curls. He reached out sleepily to wrap his arms around her, burying the side of his face into her shoulder. She had him. She was right there. He was on Earth, and he was safe. He could go to sleep.
So, he did; he let himself drift off, content with Garnet there, holding him. Once he fell asleep, the peaceful darkness he remembered met him immediately, blissful and quiet. And when he woke up, he was still in Garnet's arms; she was holding him still, curled up sideways in her arms with his head on her chest. But she had moved him back to his bed, just sitting with him; it took a moment for Steven to be able to lift his head, wincing slightly as he did so. Once again, like when he'd first fallen asleep for the first time in months, he didn't want to move, and his body physically protested against it, making his muscles ache when he tried to so much as twitch. He winced again, leaning his head back slightly before simply letting it fall sideways against Garnet's chest again, settling for simply blinking his eyes open again with a quiet, steady sigh. He felt the fusion's fingers run through his hair again, murmuring quietly, "good morning."
Steven responded with a quiet groan and shut his eyes once more, still not bothering trying to move for a few moments. He didn't think he'd ever understand that phrase - it was certainly not a 'good morning', no. Like before, he wanted to curl up and roll over and go right back to sleep. And maybe he would have, if he didn't think doing so would have been rude; Garnet was there, she knew he was awake and she had greeted him, so it was probably only fair of him to return the gesture. The hybrid sighed, peeling his eyes open again and looking up at her reluctantly. "Good morning," he mumbled, finally raising an arm to rub at his eyes and trying unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn as he shifted to sit up a little more, leaning into her touch and simultaneously pulling away just enough so that he could raise his head from her chest without immediately falling forward against her again. "I don't like waking up…" He yawned again, shaking his head. Garnet chuckled quietly in response and ran her fingers through his hair again; another sleepy smile appeared on his face after a moment, silently pressing his head closer to her hand.
"Well, that hasn't changed," Garnet remarked quietly, and he leaned his head against her hand and peered up at her, furrowing his eyebrows. He breathed in sharply, feeling her thumb rub across his cheek, but he practically melted into the touch, closing his eyes for a moment. It felt so good - the contact without pain. It made his entire body ache for more of it, and Garnet seemed more than happy to deliver on that particular aspect. The hybrid closed his eyes for a moment, lightly wrapping his fingers around her wrists. "You can sleep a bit more if you want to. Or I can get you some breakfast while you're up. We've got a big day ahead of us."
Steven blinked his eyes open at that. "We do?"
"Mhm." Garnet smiled down at him, a mixture of relief and warmth etched across her face. Her visor was back, but it didn't matter at that point - every bit of the emotionless, cold expression he'd always seen from her was completely erased, replaced with nothing but gentleness and love. He wondered how he had ever seen someone like her as terrifying. Wondered how it had been so easy to flip the switch in his mind, to remind him that Garnet could be trusted. More than that, even. He felt, toward her, exactly the same as he felt toward Pearl. Warm, and happy, and safe, and loved, whenever he was around both of them. So many emotions he wasn't quite used to, the safety being the predominant one. He was still adjusting to that feeling, but he knew it was there. "I was thinking I could take you to… meet a friend of ours. You knew her, too," she added, as Steven leaned his head back to look up at her, furrowing his eyebrows again silently. "You helped her quite a lot when she first came to Earth. Perhaps she can help you a bit, too."
Steven stared at her for a moment, considering that silently. Someone else he had known… yeah, he'd figured he would probably have to meet more people anyway. And what Garnet said obviously led to the conclusion that whoever this person was, she wasn't a human. A gem. The hybrid puffed his cheeks out and nodded, a little more excited now. Honestly, he'd have probably been horrified at the idea before, but now he had a little more… a little more hope. Hope that good things could happen here on Earth. And he wanted to believe that his friends - and his family - that lived here were all the same, at least in terms of how he felt about them. And if there was anyone else who could make him feel this safe, then he was all for it, too. "Okay," he mumbled, stifling another yawn and letting out a surprised laugh when Garnet lightly ruffled his hair, ducking his head and looking up at her with a grin. "Let's go get breakfast."
He followed Garnet downstairs to the kitchen, glancing around as he walked. Greg was still sleeping, but most of the other gems were awake; with the exception of Tangerine, who was still curled up and snoring, and Berry. Lemon Lime was awake, mumbling with Candy and trying not to wake the sleeping Ruby still curled up in his lap; Steven waved at them as he passed, but he didn't say anything, or call out a greeting. The last thing anybody wanted was to deal with a grumpy Berry, and Steven already knew how grumpy you could get when you first woke up. He knew one thing for certain, he wasn't a morning person, and he doubted Berry would be either.
"How about some cereal?" Garnet hummed, turning and shaking a giant box toward the hybrid. Steven just nodded slightly, pulling himself onto a stool and crossing his arms over the counter. He didn't know what cereal was, but food was food and Steven wasn't going to be picky over it. They were nice enough to feed him, knowing he needed it - maybe not to survive, but even he couldn't deny that he felt a lot better after eating regardless, once he moved past the flavor and how overwhelming it was and how if he ate too much too fast he felt really sick - and he couldn't say the same for Homeworld. If they were nice enough to give him the option to eat, then he was going to be nice enough to take it. "I've got to hand it to Amethyst…" The fusion muttered, opening the box and grabbing a bowl with a somewhat amused look. She then turned to open the giant white box behind her - fridge, his mind offered casually, watching the fusion, and Steven nodded slightly to himself as he stared at it. Fridge. "She certainly stocked up."
"Amethyst is cool," Steven commented quietly, crossing his arms over the counter and watching the fusion. "She's a lot nicer than the Amethysts I'm used to back h… back on Homeworld." Steven paused, running his tongue over his lips and straightening up again after a moment. "You're nicer than I thought you would be," he added after a moment of hesitation, and Garnet paused to turn back to him with the box, bowland a container of white liquid in her hand, setting them down on the counter in front of him while he spoke. "It's not a fusion thing, it was just…"
"I know, Steven," Garnet told him gently. "You don't have to explain anything to me. I understand. And I'm glad you don't feel that way anymore." She paused, tilting the box a little to pour some of the cereal inside, multi-colored little specks that fell right into the bowl. Admittedly, just watching the motion offered the hybrid a tiny bit of satisfaction; he propped his arms up to put his chin in his hand and leaned forward a little bit to watch. "Of course, if you do, you can always talk to me about anything. Whatever you're scared of, even if it's me," she added. Then, pausing, she lifted her head toward him then; Steven could practically feel her gaze boring into his, even though he couldn't see her eyes through the visor from where he was sitting now. "There's nothing you can't talk to me about, do you understand? No matter what it is."
"Yeah." Steven blinked, searching her face. "I… I know."
After that, he ate in silence. Garnet sat with him, on the other side of the counter, but they didn't speak much; Steven, for the most part, kept silent because he still didn't want to wake anybody up, but he also really didn't know what to say either. Garnet hadn't unnerved him, with what she had said, not quite - but something was stirring in the back of his mind, pressure building slightly as her words echoed through her head. Did she think there was something he wasn't telling her? Did she think he was keeping something from her? Despite his fear of making them uncomfortable, he didn't really mind talking to them. Connie had already told him that he could tell them anything, and he had no reason to believe otherwise, even for all their discomfort. Eventually, though, he came to the conclusion that since hiding stuff from them seemed to be something he used to do, if his conversation with Connie had told him anything, Garnet probably assumed it was the same deal, even with the loss of his memories. Honestly, Steven couldn't imagine that now. He couldn't imagine keeping anything from them. They'd been so nice to him thus far, they'd been… amazing. Why would he keep any secrets from them? He trusted them.
He was still eating, working through the cereal in silence, when he heard the warp pad activate. And he flinched - not out of fear, but because he knew Berry was going to wake up immediately from the sound, as quiet as it was. And he was right; the Ruby burst awake with a gasp just as Amethyst and Pearl landed on the warp pad, and Lemon Lime was already working on trying to get her to calm down, patting the flames from her hair while Berry recovered, when the other two stepped down and glanced around. It didn't take long for them to spot him; Steven offered a small smile as Pearl rushed over to him, a bright smile forming on her lips almost immediately. "Good morning, Steven," she greeted, leaning down to kiss him on the forehead.
"Mornin', Steve-o," Amethyst hummed, stretching her arms over her head and walking past Berry and Lemon Lime, shooting the Ruby a somewhat unsettled look in the process. She hopped up onto the stool beside Steven, glancing over at the cereal for a second before she sank forward against the counter and laced her fingers together overtop of it, beaming at Garnet. "I'll have the box of donuts on top of the fridge, if you would please, G-squad."
"Don't eat them all," Garnet warned, grabbing the box and tossing it to her. Steven watched the purple gem catch it, turning away briefly to scoop another spoonful of cereal into his mouth. "How did Peridot take the news?" She asked suddenly, looking toward Pearl now; the hybrid paused mid-chew, glancing over at the pale gem as well. A Peridot? He couldn't help but look back toward Lemon Lime and Berry, and honestly, he missed Pearl's response because he was too focused on the way the Ruby's eyes had gone impossibly wide, and the Peridot looked like he was about to poof on the spot, glancing rapidly between Pearl, Garnet and Amethyst; briefly, Berry caught his gaze again, and her eyes seemed to widen even further as she stood up. Lemon Lime didn't hesitate to get to his feet immediately after the Ruby had, looking shocked.
"There's a Peridot?" Berry demanded, cutting Pearl off. She exchanged a glance with Lemon Lime, who stepped forward slightly to stand beside the Ruby, almost shaking now. "Here?"
Pearl looked as startled as Steven felt. "Well, yes-"
"Oh, my stars," Berry whispered, lifting her hands to cover her mouth.
"Where?" Lemon Lime gasped, glancing between them furiously. Steven slowly lowered the spoon back to the bowl and turned to face his friends again, furrowing his eyebrows silently. He had never seen Berry like this before, and to say that he was intrigued was an understatement. He would have been concerned, if not for the fact that she didn't look upset or uncomfortable or angry. There was nothing but pure shock written across her face, a dozen emotions that Steven couldn't really put a name to, looking so out of place on the little Ruby's face. "Where is she?"
"We'll take you to see her after Steven finishes his breakfast," Garnet told them lightly, a small smile appearing on her face for a second. At that, Steven glanced down at the bowl, pausing.
"I don't think I can eat any more," he admitted, glancing up. "We can go." Admittedly, while he was telling the truth - he was starting to feel a little sick - he probably could have managed a few more bites before he had to stop. But his curiosity over the situation and the desperation that came with needing to figure out what was wrong with his friends right then just made him want to get up and go already - not only was this Peridot apparently a gem that he had known before, but apparently Lemon Lime and Berry both seemed to have come to some sort of realization, and Steven was rather eager to see how it turned out. Especially considering Berry was still covering her mouth, still looking about ready to faint, if a gem could even do that, and for someone like Berry to look like that over something that wasn't a fusion, it was very, very rare.
"Should we wake up Greg?" Pearl questioned, glancing back at the sleeping human. Garnet paused for a moment, then shook her head, reaching forward to take the bowl from Steven while the hybrid turned to slide off of the stool, heading back over to his friends with a frown.
"You guys okay?"
"We're fine," Lemon Lime replied quickly, voice shaking slightly. "It's just…"
"I think we know the Peridot," Berry finished for him, somewhat faintly, watching anxiously as the other gems got ready to leave. "5XG left for a mission to Earth a while back… we haven't seen her since. We thought… but if she's really been here all this time, then…" She paused, glancing over at Lemon Lime somewhat anxiously. Steven furrowed his eyebrows silently, glancing back toward the other gems. 5XG… yeah, he remembered Berry mentioning that number before. It was also familiar enough to make something else stir at the back of his mind, but it wasn't quite enough to unleash any memories just yet. The hybrid narrowed his eyes silently, glancing back over at Berry and Lemon Lime; after a moment, the Ruby met his gaze and offered nothing more than a shrug, stepping back and heading toward the warp pad with Lemon Lime in tow.
Steven exchanged a glance with Candy, giving the Pearl an absolutely bewildered look. She just shrugged right back at him in response, looking just as confused. "It's Berry and Lemon Lime," she commented fondly, glancing after the other two. "I've given up trying to figure anything out. It's nice, though," she added, turning to follow after them. "That their friend might be here."
"Yeah," Steven agreed quietly, following. "I just hope…" He trailed off, not finishing his sentence. He didn't want them to build their hopes up only to be disappointed. He didn't know the chances of it being another gem and not the one they thought it was, but he was hoping, for their sakes, that the Peridot they were talking about was the one they were going to see. The hybrid hopped up onto the warp pad and turned, just as Garnet stepped out from behind the counter to walk over to them, with Pearl falling into step with the fusion while Amethyst dashed forward and leaped onto the warp pad without breaking stride, landing beside Steven with a huge grin. The hybrid offered her a small smile in response; his wariness for Amethyst had long fizzled out, and he almost admired the purple gem's excitement, her energy. Energy he didn't quite have, couldn't quite keep up with - unless he was out there on the field or training, of course. But Amethyst seemed to have the energy for anything and everything, and Steven admired that.
The warp was quick; where they arrived looked much different than it did outside the house. The ground was green, mostly, with some brown patches. And the green stuff tickled his feet as he stepped down from the warp pad along with the others; he looked down silently, lightly running his toes across it. It was a weird sensation, and different from the brown path leading up to the building just up ahead. He couldn't keep his eyes from widening when he rested his gaze on the structure in front of them; a giant red building with holes in the front, and things sticking out of the side. He walked forward, silently falling into step with Berry, Lemon Lime and Candy, while Amethyst wasted no time in spin dashing forward to the barn, whooping. "Yo, Peridot! Peri!"
"Steven." Garnet's hand rested on the hybrid's shoulder, pulling him to a halt. Steven paused, glancing over and nodding at Berry when she stopped to look back at him, and the Ruby continued on her way along with Lemon Lime and Candy quickly; the hybrid rolled his shoulders back, not enough to shake Garnet's hand off, and turned to face her, eyebrows furrowing. "I'd just like to let you know, Peridot can be… a bit overwhelming," the fusion began carefully. "Sometimes, at least. She's been going through quite a bit here, herself. I'm sure Pearl and Amethyst did their best to warn her about the situation, but she might expect too much too soon. You were very… close." She paused, glancing past the hybrid briefly and pulling her hand back. "But if you get too overwhelmed, just tell her. She wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable." She seemed to hesitate, opening her mouth slightly, but faltered after a moment, shaking her head. "Just… be careful. Something's off… I don't know what, but I know something's off…"
Steven frowned, staring at her for a moment. But, after a few seconds of hesitation, he moved forward to hug her, wrapping his arms around her and offering a light squeeze before pulling back. "I'm sure it'll be okay," he said quickly, smiling slightly when he felt her hand rest on his head again, lightly ruffling the curls. The hybrid ducked his head with a chuckle, and continued, "besides, if we were close, then there shouldn't be a problem. I've been remembering everything else pretty well recently, and I like Peridots anyway. Eh… most of them. Well…" He trailed off, furrowing his eyebrows. "Actually, Lemon Lime's the only Peridot I know, but still…"
"Just don't push anything," Pearl fussed, lightly reaching out to straighten the boy's curls again. "We don't want you hurting yourself trying to remember, if you can't…"
"I'll be fine," Steven assured, glancing between them. Once again, he couldn't help but wonder why he would have ever kept anything from them in the past. They were so reassuring, so gentle and soft and loving - he was lucky to have them in his life, then and now. He doubted anything had changed. He remembered feeling just as safe around them as he did right then, even though the significance of those feelings had long increased by now. He was lucky to have both of them - no, he was lucky to have all of them there with him, helping him through this. Steven shook his head and took a deep breath, pulling back and offering them a warm smile. "Don't worry. I'll be fine," he told them again, pausing and turning his head to look toward the building once more when he heard Berry let out a shriek. Something small and… orange was running out of the building, making weird yapping noises as it went. Like Lion, it ran on all fours, and had its tongue lolling out of its mouth as it leaped up into the air and yapped at Berry.
Of course, like anyone would probably do in that situation, Berry shrieked again. What Steven wasn't expecting was for her to turn and practically throw herself at Lemon Lime, climbing into the Peridot's arms and immediately clambering around to his shoulders, ducking behind the taller green gem with another horrified squeal when the little orange creature came closer. "Somebody! Call this! Little creature off!" The Ruby yelled. "Before I kick it into outer space- no! Get away!" She climbed back onto Lemon Lime's shoulders, completely now, when the orange creature circled around and jumped up again, with the Peridot and Candy watching bemusedly.
"Pumpkin!" Another voice yelled, and Berry and Lemon Lime tensed up, heads snapping up to stare toward the building. Steven paused, already making his way forward carefully with Garnet and Pearl beside him, while another Peridot walked out of the barn. She wasn't wearing limb enhancers - so naturally, she was short, only a few inches higher than Berry, he imagined. Amethyst followed not too far after the little green gem, looking positively thrilled right then. "Pumpkin, what are you doing?" The Peridot scolded, reaching down to catch the little orange creature as it bounded away from Lemon Lime and Berry to jump into her arms instead. She then turned, depositing the creature into Amethyst's arms - much to the purple gem's surprise - before she turned back around to face the others, huffing. "Sorry, Pumpkin gets- really…"
She stopped, and stared. Not at him - at Berry and Lemon Lime, who were both staring right back at her with eyes wider than the moon. The Ruby slowly slid down off of the Peridot's back, opening and closing her mouth as she stared at the short green gem in front of them.
"5XH…" The Peridot gaped at them. "5HX…?"
"5XG!" To his surprise, Berry suddenly let out a squeal and launched herself forward; he came to a complete stop when the Ruby rammed into the Peridot, sending them both crashing back and wrapping her arms as tightly around the small green gem as she seemed to be able to. "Oh my stars, you're alive! You're- okay!" Abruptly, the little red gem pulled back, staring at the Peridot while she seemed to be trying to recover from the abrupt tackle hug. Honestly, Steven was still trying to recover from it himself, and he hadn't even been the one that got tackled. "You've been here? All this time?!" Berry demanded. "You left me with this little pebble?!"
"Well-" The Peridot stammered, wide-eyed. "I-"
"You're not wearing your limb enhancers," Lemon Lime uttered, sounding shocked and confused. The Peridot glanced up at him, eyes widening even further as she stared at him.
"And you look-" She seemed to choke on her words for a second. "Y- you look different-"
"He is different," Berry agreed, and abruptly smacked the Peridot over the head, making her wince. "But as for you! You scared the living shards out of me, you know that?! We thought you'd gotten shattered or- or lost in space or something! And you've been here! All this time! With that thing!" She added with a disdainful look in Pumpkin's direction. "All this time!"
Steven stayed silent, but he couldn't help but smile now as he watched the three reunite. Well, he was glad that certainly worked out - granted, he was still surprised to see Berry willingly hugging anybody with that much enthusiasm and not really think twice about it, much less admit that someone had actually scared her because she thought they were dead - but this Peridot was one of her friends, too, and that was definitely a good thing. For a moment, the hybrid just tilted his head, silently studying the Peridot. She looked familiar, but… no, no memories yet.
Once Berry finally let the Peridot up, and she exchanged a cheerful greeting with Lemon Lime, who pulled her, rather fiercely, into a hug of his own, Steven finally continued on his way forward with Garnet leading him carefully, offering the smaller Peridot a small smile when she turned to look at them as they approached. Once again, there were no memories, but he did feel something stirring in the back of his mind when she finally looked up at him through her visor, eyes seeming to widen slightly in a mixture of shock and confusion before the expression settled again. And then, just as quickly, a huge grin had split across her face almost at once; she walked forward, momentarily abandoning the other two - much to Berry's dismay - and Steven paused for a second to let the Peridot approach him instead. "Well, well, well, look who it is! Welcome back to Earth, Steven- not that… you remember… Earth… but…" she paused, narrowing her eyes for a moment, and Steven snorted. "Well, welcome back anyway!"
"Thanks," Steven replied genuinely, letting his smile widen a little more. So far, so good. The Peridot seemed pretty nice already, and he had a feeling that if Berry liked her, they were going to get along just fine. There was no wariness, no fear - though the prodding at the back of his mind became a little more prominent then, and seemed to be stirring up some… unpleasant feelings. Guilt was one of them, guilt and confusion and… pain. The hybrid paused, briefly letting the smile falter for a second, but the Peridot didn't seem to notice his expression shift.
"My name is Peridot. Just Peridot," she added, and Steven nodded faintly. Like Pearl and Amethyst, okay, that wasn't that much of a big deal. "And this is the barn!" She turned, gesturing toward the giant structure in front of them, and Steven lifted his gaze silently, eyebrows furrowing. "My home away from Homeworld. Since I can't ever go back there. I called Yellow Diamond a clod, right to her face." Peridot sighed, an almost fond tone to her voice, and snickered slightly when Berry practically shrieked from where she was standing, looking absolutely delighted to hear that last little bit of news. "But the barn is where we have our meep morps and where we keep Pumpkin, our girl. Lapis isn't here-" Peridot seemed to hesitate. "She left a while back, just after Homeworld took you… she didn't say anything when she…"
Her voice fizzled away, the world turning to static before he could react.
Lapis.
The hybrid was screaming, writhing against several giant hands holding him back, tight grips on his arms and shoulders keeping him from getting even an inch further than he was right then.
Lapis…
Blue Diamond was standing in front of him; she smiled to herself as he screamed and begged for her to stop and listen to him. The words he yelled were muffled, unclear even to him right then, but he knew that's what he was asking. It had to be. There was nothing but fear and desperation in his voice, nothing else for him to have been screaming but for her to stop.
Lapis.
She pinched the gem between her fingers, glittering dimly in the pale blue light. Holding it out, holding it up for him to see clearly for himself what it was… and who it was.
"Lapis…" Steven whispered. Peridot stopped speaking, turning back to him with an almost confused expression on her face - and he froze again. Everything happened very quickly then. His pupils shrank slightly, staring down at the little green gem in front of him, before abruptly reeling himself back. A hand on his shoulder drew a scream from his lips, not even waiting to see who it was; all he could see was Blue Diamond. All he could see was the tiny, blue, Lapis Lazuli gem pinched between her fingers. All he could feel were the hands on his shoulders, the fingers gripping his arms tight enough to bruise. All he could feel was the pain, and the horror. The fear and confusion and desperation. But not only did he remember the emotions pounding in his chest, he remembered why. He remembered Lapis, he remembered being absolutely terrified and confused and horrified when he saw her gem in Blue Diamond's hand, knowing what was going to happen and desperately hoping that he could get through to her first.
He remembered the fear. He remembered the anger. He remembered the pain. He remembered how much it hurt, struggling against the soldiers holding him back while Blue Diamond taunted him with the gem, holding it out in front of him, making him think she might be a little merciful.
Only… only to…
"No…" The hybrid gasped. He stumbled back again, clasping his hands over his mouth. "No…" He remembered. He remembered watching Blue Diamond bubble the gem again. Watching it fill up with all of the giant gem's anger and grief. Watching it, and waiting, tense, for something to happen. Trying to speak, but unable to spit the words out. He remembered watching the spike, watching it pierce straight through the center of the gem, popping the bubble in the process. He remembered the gem shards that fell to the platform in front of him once it had, remembered watching them as they fell, watching as they bounced and dropped further to the ground.
He screamed again, out of pure anguish this time, as his legs finally gave out from under him. Tears flooded his eyes for the first time since it had happened, for the first time in eight months; and he yelled, and shrieked, and screamed and doubled over, covering his mouth with a sob. "No-!" He yelled again, squeezing his eyes shut against the tears, but they continued to rise; he felt like he was drowning, drowning in pain, and grief, and guilt. He could still see the shards in front of him, he remembered just standing there even long after the Amethysts had loosened their grips on his arms. He remembered… he remembered just… staring. He remembered the pain and grief had consumed him so much, so quickly, that everything had just gone blank. He remembered forgetting, one thing after another, until there was nothing left to grieve over. Until the shards at his feet meant nothing more to him than they would have if it was a stranger.
But it wasn't.
"Lapis…" Steven gasped again, heaving out another strangled sob. His senses flooded back, reality hitting him once again, but it only drew another horrified scream from his lips as he doubled over again. A mixture of pain, and grief, and fear, and guilt, and fury. "Lapis…!" He choked on his own screams, choking on air until he couldn't speak anymore. Until all he could do was sob, covering his mouth, gripping and tugging at his hair as he leaned over, close to the ground but not quite falling over. He was on his knees. He felt people around him, touching his shoulders and arms and calling his name frantically, trying to speak to him, to comfort him. The hybrid recognized each voice, remembered each person it belonged to. He recognized the familiar touch of Garnet's hand, as if he'd never forgotten in the first place. He recognized Amethyst's fingers around his wrists, trying to tug his hands away from his face as he dug his nails into his skin and raked them down with another stifled sob. He recognized Pearl's hand on his back and the other one on his other shoulder, squeezing as she tried to get his attention.
But the hybrid was damn near inconsolable right then, and that wasn't going to be fixed any time soon. The gems would be better off just waiting him out, letting him scream and sob until he couldn't anymore before they tried to get his attention this time. He couldn't breathe through the sobs, he couldn't see through the tears in his eyes. They were streaming down his face mercilessly, making up for lost time. And the pain in his chest, the grief he was feeling… it was like four month's worth of grief and agony and guilt slamming into him without any warning. He couldn't have stopped himself, silenced himself, right then if he had tried to. Nothing could.
So he let the world fade away again, let the desperate, concerned voices of his family spiral into nothingness, let everything blur and turn to static while he voiced his agony and grief without anything to hold it back. There was nothing else he could do but wait the storm out, himself.
The only thing was that he didn't know if it was ever going to stop.