Note: In my first year and second year schedule every class is shared between two houses. It's the only way a Professor could take on that many classes a day without a time turner. This may not be how the classes work in canon.

Also, while I might use bits of lore and magic from the Fantastic Beasts movies, I am not going to adhere strictly to them.

CHAPTER TWENTY NINE
PIZZA PARTY

I yawned and took a large bite of my toast. I didn't get much sleep the night before. After all of the commotion, I even forgot to practice my nightly Occlumency exercises. Nothing like horrific mind ghost demon things to throw you off of your regular schedule.

I ate another bite of toast. I think I'm starting to like beans and toast? Or I'm getting Stockholm syndrome for beans and toast. I do miss some of the more traditional American breakfast items though. I'd kill a man right now for some biscuits and gravy. Maybe I should send Horace a letter and ask for a recipe? I did promise him I'd write a few weeks ago.

"Good morning dearies!" Sprout called out and bustled towards my breakfast table. She was wearing a bright yellow shirt dress with a brown smock that was already smudged with dirt.

I turned around in my seat.

"I've got this year's schedules!" Sprout declared and began handing out small scrolls to each of us. "This year is much like the last only there aren't any flying lessons."

I felt that it would probably be inappropriate to do a dance of joy in the middle of the Great Hall so I valiantly held back.

Sprout handed me my schedule scroll and moved on down the line.

Hmm, no flying lessons on Friday left me a nice gap to do homework and maybe do some kind of project in the Room of Requirement.

Huh… that reminds me of… something?

Something niggled at the back of my mind. There was something I was forgetting I was sure of it. Hmm, was it going to the library to get a book on Patronus? Or was the plural patroni? Eh, that was probably it. I needed to write in my day planner more to help stay organized. Writing down your thoughts can be really useful.

I took one last bite of toast and followed my classmates to our first class as second years.

My first two classes of the week (Transfiguration and Herbology) consisted mostly of review. While necessary, they were rather boring. This afternoon, however, was Potions. Snape was never one for anything helpful and logical like reviewing so I fully expected we were jumping right into the second year curriculum. It might be unpleasant, but it definitively wouldn't be boring.

Actually, considering his foul 'I hate everything including you' mood, we were probably in for some ridiculously unfair 'this is so over our level and you're just being a dick about it' potion assignment.

I walked into the potion's classroom and set down my bag. Sure enough, written on the chalkboard already were the instructions for a potion I knew wasn't in the second or third year textbook (I've read it cover to cover). Heck, the name of the potion wasn't even in English. The Backpfeifengesicht Potion had an ingredient list as long as my arm and no explanation whatsoever of what the potion did or even what the German word meant.

I glanced over at Kevin to see if he at least looked less lost, but he met my eyes and shrugged helplessly as if to say, 'yeah I'm stumped too'.

Oh boy, if even Kevin is lost...

Beside me, Eloise seemed to have ran through the stages of grief at lightning speed and had settled into grim acceptance with a dull hopeless look reflected in her eyes.

Snape swept into the room and turned briskly toward us. He had dark puffy circles underneath his eyes.

"Brew the potion written on the board and then write a paragraph before you leave describing to me what you believe the potion does." Snape's dark rimmed eyes narrowed. "And don't think for a moment you'll be able to tell anyone else what the potion does. Every class will receive a unique potion assignment."

Everyone stared at him in silence. This was the first time he'd asked us to do anything like this. We hadn't discussed even the basics of how to identify a potion's effects. I only had a general idea of the process because I'd done outside reading last year.

I squinted at the potion ingredients and tried to dredge up the vague memories of a book I had read six months ago. I think the potion is a poison based on the ingredients, but I'd have to see what kind of smell and consistency the potion had to have any idea what it did beyond that. Even then, I feel like the book had a chart of some sort to compare things to? I definitely don't have the chart memorized.

I looked around. My fellow classmates either looked like they were in resigned despair, or that they were thinking Snape's face looked particularly punchable right now.

Snape's scowl deepened. "What are you waiting for? Begin!"

Snape turned his back to us and stalked towards his store room. He disappeared into the side room and proceeded to ignore our existence.

I sighed and started to write down the ingredients from the board.

"What was your guess on what the potion does?" Hannah asked me after class was over.

The Second Year Hufflepuff's were moving as a group back to our common room. We had a couple of free hours before dinner.

"I guessed it was maybe a Grief Potion because of the expressions I could see swirling in the purple liquid." Negative emotion potions tended to literally scowl at you while you brewed them. "It was definitely a poison."

"I don't think it was a potion of grief. I think that's the wrong emotion. And I think it probably also affects people around the drinker. Asking us to identify the potion without the Magister's Index, Gauge, and Radial Axiom of Inert and Nascent Elixirs chart was unreasonable of him. Even my father doesn't have it memorized. He keeps a copy of it in his alchemic lab taped onto the wall." Kevin laughed darkly. "And I doubt Snape has it memorized either."

Wayne looked at Kevin incredulously. "I'm sorry, the Master-whatsit?"

"It's a chart professional potion makers can cross reference to try to identify the effects of a potion without doing something reckless like trying it," Kevin explained.

"So professional potioneers use it to figure out potion recipes?" I asked.

Kevin shrugged. "Dad uses it sometimes. Good potion masters can do a lot of different things to fool the chart. You can't have everyone brewing the potions you create. How would you make any money that way? Professor Snape has quite a few potions dad has to outsource to him because Professor Snape invented them and no one else knows how to make them."

Huh, weird. I should look up information about wizarding copyright law sometime.

"Why does the sot even work as a teacher then?" Wayne wondered out loud.

"I've wondered the same thing. He could make good money just brewing potions. Maybe he just enjoys torturing children?" Kevin suggested.

"What emotion do you think it was then?" Hannah asked.

Kevin shrugged. "It's something that creates a negative effect around the drinker. Beyond that? I have no idea."

We discussed the potion for a few more minutes, but no one else had any idea what it did either.

"I'll see you guys later. I'm going to head up to the library real quick," I lied.

Hannah sighed. "It's the first day back. You're really going to the library already?"

"What can I say. I love learning," I said with a straight face.

I waved goodbye to the group and headed up the stairs. Now to go to the Room of Requirement for...

I paused on the stairs.

What was I going to the Room of Requirement for again?

I wracked my brain. Was I going to start another potion? Was I planning on exploring the room and looking for... for... more magical books? No... that doesn't sound right.

Eh... I guess I'll go to the library. I need to get a few cookbooks for the pizza party thing. I'm sure it'll come back to me soon.

I walked up the steps and headed toward the library ignoring the headache I felt coming on.

I had to wait until Tuesday for my first Defense Against the Dark Arts class with Sirius Black. When we arrived, I was surprised to find that the room looked nearly the same as when Quirrel had used it except for all of the desks were pushed to the sides of the room. The same faded wand angle diagrams were on the walls, and the outdated globe still collected dust in the corner. Sirius did bother to decorate his desk a little. There was a tiny flamingo bobbing up and down, one of those perpetual ball clanky things, a Muggle notebook, and a cup full of various quills.

Sirius sat at his desk with his feet propped on the desktop twirling his wand between his fingers like a baton. He was also leaning precariously back in his seat. He looked up as we began to file into the room, but didn't take his feet off of the desk. His hair was slicked back and his robes were obviously brand new. He would have looked handsome if it wasn't for the obvious hardships Azkaban had ravaged on his face. He looked at least ten years older than he should have.

He also looked bored.

After everyone had filed into the room we all stood around awkwardly waiting for Sirius to begin class. He leisurely stretched, yawned, and then finally addressed the room.

"I'm Professor Sirius Black. Yes, we don't have any books. No you can't ask me about Azkaban. I won't be assigning any homework," Sirius paused. "I assume none of you are going to beg for homework like that barmy curly haired girl in Harry's class?"

Apparently, Hermione committed social suicide this week.

Everyone was glancing at each other in stunned silence. Sirius seemed to take our stunned silence as agreement.

"Good now eh, what do you lot want to learn?" Sirius glanced about the room.

He was asking us? What the heck?

Everyone was looking at each other again in confusion.

"And it can't be anything dark," Sirius added in and narrowed his eyes slightly at some of my Slytherin classmates.

Everyone glanced about each other awkwardly. It seemed no one wanted to be the first to suggest anything. Eventually, I sighed and shot my hand up to move things along. Some of the Slytherin students were starting to look mutinous.

"How about the Patronus Charm?" I suggested.

Sirius's eyebrows shot up. "That's pretty advanced. Are you sure? I was going to test on whatever we did in class."

My fellow Hufflepuff's were looking at me in alarm, and many of the Slytherins were outright glaring. I could feel the noose of social suicide proverbially tightening around my neck.

"Not that then," I added in quickly. I wracked my brain. "What about a disarming charm?"

Ernie, Wayne, and Roger still looked uncertain. Millicent Bulstrode glared at me like an angry bulldog. Come on guys! It's not like we're going to get nothing if no one speaks up. At least, I hope that's the case.

"It's not hard!" I assured the room.

Sirius shrugged. "Alright," he called out and slowly got out of his chair and stood in front of the room. "It goes like this." He aimed the charm at Pansy, Blaise, and Draco in quick succession. Their wands went flying across the room. Pansy and Draco flinched, but Blaise didn't react at all.

Note to self, never play poker with Blaise. Not that he'd ever play a card game with me anyways.

"Not that difficult, right? Pair up and practice until the end of the class," Sirius then sat back down behind his desk, put his feet up at his desk, and started to read a magazine.

That was anti-climatic.

Most of the other Hufflepuff's already knew the spell due to learning it last year at Spell Club so we mostly tutored Ernie, Wayne, and Roger and practiced at bit among ourselves. It was a perfectly passable class but still kind of boring?

I guess I was expecting more along the lines of how Remus Lupin was portrayed in the third book? Remus might be a better teacher than Sirius.

Then again... That was all shown from Harry's perspective not from some random Hufflepuff's girl's view.

On Wednesday, I headed up to the seventh floor where the Ravenclaw dorms, Owlery, and Room of Requirement was located. At first, my feet took me to the Room of Requirement then I made an abrupt turn when I realized that I had no reason to be there. Making all of those aging potions at the end of last year really instilled a habit in me I guess.

I skulked about a bit hoping that I would chance a meeting with Luna Lovegood. Then I could befriend her... somehow. She seems like she'd be easy to befriend as long as you were nice to her. Unfortunately, no big-eyed blonde girl appeared or any blonde first year girl doing something odd. Maybe assuming I'd recognize her on sight is a foolish assumption?

I gave up after two passes around the tower and headed to the Owlery instead. I cautiously stepped into the archway of the tall domed room. Way above my head there were small bird sized holes so the owl's could come and go as they pleased, but the windows within reach were latched shut. The ground crunched under my feet and was littered with occasional small rodent bones. Otherwise, the place was very clean. There must be some kind of anti-bird poop spell on the place.

I choose a particularity robust looking eagle owl with bright orange eyes, long talons, and adorable tuffs at the tops of his head that looked like skinny bunny ears.

"Hello, Mr. Owl." I supposed it could be a lady owl? "I have a letter for you that has to go all the way to America." I gave my letter that was addressed to Horace at Ilvermorny to the school owl. It took the letter from me, dropped it, peered at the letter, and then chirped indignantly at me.

"Uh, yes, I am asking you cross the ocean..." I trailed off and tried to stare down the owl. I was the first one to blink. "Uh, I'll give you a huge pile of bacon when you eventually get back? Do you want me to tie it to your leg?"

I reached for the letter but the bird puffed up his feathers and hissed. I pulled my hand back quickly.

"Ohhhkaaay then. I won't touch the letter again. Thanks?"

The bird chirped angrily, picked up the letter, and flew off.

I heard several people clamber up the steps of the Owlery behind me.

"But are any of us really alive?!" Oliver exclaimed as he entered the Owlery.

Anthony and Neville followed closely on Oliver's heels. They were all carrying Muggle flashlights for some reason.

"Merlin's balls, not this again…" Anthony mumbled and ran his free hand through his hair.

Oliver stopped and flipped the switch of his flashlight over and over. It did not turn on. "I'm just saying, if a basic electric resistor doesn't work at Hogwarts then none of the physics that lets people stay alive would either!"

"This all sounds like nonsense to me," Anthony argued back. Anthony finally noticed me and waved.

Oliver flailed his flashlight wildly in the air. "But what if we just feel alive because we THINK we're alive?!"

Neville shyly waved to me and then turned back to Oliver. "I definitely feel alive?"

"You got all this because your Muggle torches stopped working at Hogwarts?" Anthony asked doubtfully.

Oliver flailed his flashlight around again and nearly clocked Neville on the head. "Yes! Why aren't you lot more worried about this?!"

Neville took a few steps back from Oliver's gesturing arm.

Oliver abruptly swirled towards me.

"Kaaasseeeeey! On a scale of one to ten how alive do you feel?!"

I considered it for a moment. It was a Wednesday, after all. "Maybe a 7?"

Anthony gave me a dirty look. "Don't encourage him."

Oliver held up his free hand and looked at it intensely. "Could we really be energy based beings instead of corporeal?"

"I'm lost," Neville admitted.

Anthony snorted. "You're fine Neville. Oliver is the one lost on another planet already."

"What are you guys doing exactly?" I asked curiously.

Oliver grinned a tad manically. "We're testing to see if my torches will work at different elevations. Hmm, we should get some brooms and fly above the castle roof to see how high the anti-technology field or whatever it is goes?"

Neville turned pale.

"Whoa, you can't put Neville on a broom. He could die!" I exclaimed alarmed.

Neville winced. "Ouch… you're not wrong but... ouch."

Oliver clapped a hand on Neville's shoulder. "You'll be fine Nev. I believe in you!"

Neville shrugged off Oliver's hand. "Thanks mate, but I don't believe in me."

"I don't believe in Neville either," Anthony deadpanned.

"But how else are we going to sneak you into our dorm this weekend? You've got to start playing in my D&D campaign! We've got all the stuff set up in our room. I made you a halfing druid! I think you'll like it! He uses plants!" Oliver exclaimed and was practically bouncing with excitement.

Oh, he finally tricked some people into playing D&D with him. Good for him.

Neville looked skeptical. "Is it really okay to sneak me in?"

"Eh, the only one that will care would be Stephen and if he tattles we'll glue him to the bed for the weekend." Oliver shot a guilty look towards me. "Sorry, Kasey. The party is already full."

"We'd also get in even more trouble if we were caught sneaking a girl from another house into our dorm room," Anthony added in.

"It's fine," I assured them.

I really had no desire to tackle the horror that is second edition Dungeons and Dragons.

Oliver brightened up. "Oh! Do you want to take one of the torches up on the roof with us?"

"You can't put Kasey on a broom. She'll die," Neville deadpanned.

Oh, a little bit of revenge there, eh Neville? I'm proud of him and mildly insulted at the same time.

"You're not wrong," I said honestly. "I'm a menace on a broom."

Oliver seemed undaunted. "We can ride tandem and Nev can ride behind me. We'll be fine. Oh! We could give Nev one of those bouncing bean things so he'd just bounce if he fell!"

Neville shrugged. He must be getting used to Oliver's crazy ideas. "I'd rather not bounce several hundred meters up and down over and over. No, thanks."

Oliver slapped Neville on the back. Neville staggered a little. "You'll be fine. Be a chancer for once! Oh! I bet we could literally bounce you into the window if we aimed it right."

Neville looked green around the edges.

"So... That's a hard no for me on riding a broom. I'm going to leave now. See you guys later. Try not kill Neville, okay?"

I made my escape out of the room before I got included in this horrific bouncing scheme Oliver was cooking up. Neville halfheartedly waved goodbye as Oliver began to discuss the further logistics and proper angles of bouncing Neville into their dorm room.

I bet they haven't even thought of simply asking permission from Flitwick. Ah well. I'm sure they'll be fine.

Friday morning was free because we no longer had broom riding lessons so I took the opportunity to head down to the kitchens and get some pizza ingredients for later in the day. Since it was after lunch, I hoped that I wouldn't be bothering the elves too much. Of course, they'd never say I was bothering them.

I walked carefully into the kitchen. The back half of the kitchens were filled with bubbles as a group of elves seemed to be supervising the dishes as they cleaned themselves. Another group was peeling potatoes while a third group was eating sandwiches.

"Hello? I was wondering if you could give me some ingredients?" I asked the elf closest to me who was peeling potatoes. He was standing on a human-sized stool next to a work table.

Now that I think about it, the whole kitchen is human-sized instead of elf-sized. Surely, the work tables should be the size of the workers?

The elf dropped what he was doing and bounded over to me. "We can make it for you if you have the recipe!"

I bent down so I wasn't looming over him. "No, thank you. I just wanted the ingredients. I have a list."

The potato peeling elf looked stricken. "Is there something wrong with our cooking, Miss?"

"No! Nothing is wrong," I reassured him. "I was wanting to make a couple of pizzas for my club. I though it would be fun if we made the pizzas ourselves with magic."

I handed him my recipe. He still looked confused.

"Oh!" He smacked his small fist into his palm. "Miss, thinks we can't make it ourselves because it's a magical pizza! Don't worry! We can do magical pizzas too if you have the directions!"

The other two elves peeling potatoes nodded in agreement enthusiastically.

I repressed the urge to groan.

"Listen, I just want to make it myself I-"

The kitchen door swung open and Daphne Greengrass walked in. She was carrying two empty metal buckets with odd reddish-brown stains on them.

"I want a bucket of fish heads," she announced evenly without preamble.

The potato peeling elf peered at my recipe and then looked back at me. "Miss, you forgot to add fish heads on your ingredient list!" He wrinkled his nose. "Muggle recipes are so strange."

"How many fish heads do you want?" A voice called out from the back. An elf with a bloody apron stepped out of a side room.

"No! She's on a separate errand. I don't want fish heads!" I exclaimed and looked at Daphne annoyed.

She seemed unperturbed by the situation and simply held out her buckets a little further.

An elf stirring a large pot piped up, "Are you sure, Miss? I've heard of this pizza you're talking about! They've got anchovies sometimes! Those are little fishies! Sometimes..." The elf's voice dropped low like she was imparting a great secret. "Sometimes... they put PINEAPPLE on their pizza!"

The elves in unison, drew back in horror.

"Pineapple pizza is delicious!" I argued. I paused, ran my hand through my hair, and sighed. The pineapple pizza debate was getting way off topic. "I'm not making a pineapple pizza. I'm making cheese and pepperoni pizzas."

Everyone likes those combinations.

"Are you sure, Miss? Cheese and pineapple don't go together..." The potato peeling elf actually patted my hand. "It's okay. We kitchen elves know our cooking. There's no reason for a witch to worry about silly details like this! We'll take care of you and keep you from eating bad things!"

"Pineapple on pizza is good!" I cried out incredulously.

The kitchen elves were giving me looks like they thought I was particularly slow and needed taken care of.

"Have you ever even had it?" I asked a tad more confrontationaly then I meant to.

The elves ears drooped a little and I felt immediately guilty for raising my voice.

"No, Miss," the elf who spoke last admitted.

"Fish heads," Daphne said again and waved her buckets.

"Fine, I'll make you a pineapple pizza right now, and I'll prove to you that it can be good!" I declared and rolled up my sleeves. "You can give me pointers if I'm doing anything wrong!"

The room was shocked into silence.

"A witch can't make us food!" someone squeaked out from the back.

"It's against the laws of nature!" another elf yelled out in alarm.

The potato peeling elf bounded up. "Let Keefe make the pizza for you, Miss. You want fish heads on it right? Or was it anchovies?"

"I need fish heads. Now," Daphne declared and walked up next to me.

The pot stirring elf (was that Sophie? I think?) rounded on Keefe. "Anchovies are different than fish heads?"

"The fish heads are for my turtle," Daphne explained in her normal deadpan voice.

Sophie titled her head. "So pizza is for turtles?"

I resisted the urge the pull my hair out. "No! Pizza isn't for turtles."

Screw it. I started to gather the ingredients I needed myself. Now where would they keep the pineapple?

"So you're going to put the turtle on the pizza?" An elf asked who was polishing silverware.

Daphne tilted her head like she was considering it.

"There will be no turtles on the pizza! She's on a separate errand! Ugh. Can someone get me some pepperoni?" I put a few measuring cups and spoons on an empty work table. A few of the elves seem to be getting into my industrious spirit and were helping me gather the items. "Not everyone has an elf at home to cook for them. I'll have to know how to cook when I get older. And it could be fun to cook it together and learn a new recipe right?"

"Doesn't have an elf at home? You poor dear!" An younger looking elf exclaimed and handed me a sack of flour.

They were definitely looking like they felt sorry for me now.

An elf sat a measuring cup on the table and then stage whispered, "You can't just call the girl poor you clod! How rude!"

I definitely heard that...

An elderly elf approached us who must have been important among their hierarchy because he had a chef hat on. "A student making their own food?! I've never heard of anything so preposterous!" She turned towards Daphne. "And I suppose you want to start beheading your own fish heads now too?"

Daphne titled her head to the side like she was considering it.

The eff looked affronted. "Well, you can't Missy!

Oh no.

Daphne quirked an eyebrow and then said slowly and blandly, "Where do you keep your raw fish?"

One elf timidly pointed towards the back of the kitchen where the elf with the bloody apron came out of.

Daphne marched off towards the back of the kitchens.

I shrugged and started mixing the ingredients for the dough. There was a spell to get the ingredients incorporated so you didn't have to stir yourself. I think I might skip that one. Sometimes, I wonder how wizards' muscles don't completely atrophy.

"Miss, you really don't need to do this yourself!" An elf cried out from the back.

Daphne didn't respond. She was too busy intently eyeing a display of sharp looking cleavers while an elf beside her faintly sobbed.

I ignored her and the faint CHOP, SQUELCH, CHOP sounds that were now coming from the back.

I made sure to ask for pointers as I worked which thankfully caused the elves to stop fretting. In fact, after I made it known how much I admired all of their knowledge, many of them started to get into it. Dare I say it, I even heard a hint of pride in their voices when they helped me make the best pineapple pizza ever. I'm sure it wasn't often that their knowledge was appreciated by anyone, let alone someone from the wizarding community.

And gosh darn it, at least half of everyone who tried the pineapple pizza liked it! Pineapple pizza for the win! Screw it, I'm taking pineapple as a topping ingredient to the club meeting!

Daphne got to walk away with two buckets of bloody fish gore too so it was a win for everyone this afternoon.

I had been planning on hauling all of the tools and ingredients to the extra classroom myself, but the elves insisted on bringing everything up to the classroom for me. Granted, they can apparate (or their version thereof) everything in and they assured me that borrowing the mixing bowls, measuring cups, and spoons wasn't a burden.

When I got to the classroom the elves had brought a bunch of folding tables, utensils and bowls, and a small chipped cabinet to store the utensils in. On top of one of the tables, was a note saying the elves had found the tables and cabinet in a storage room and that we could keep them in the room indefintley.

I stood in front of the club room in front of my foldout table. My ingredients, utensils, bowl, and a measuring cup lay before me as well as the open recipe book. Everyone else had a similar setup. There was one empty table because Daphne hadn't shown up. That wasn't that unusual in and of itself, she missed a lot of the meetings last year as well.

We had already stirred everything together and now had nice round balls of dough in our bowls. We'd done everything by hand so far.

"After everything has been incorporated, we next cast the kneading spell. The incantation is Transverso. And the wand movement is this..." I moved my hand in a small circle with my palm facing downward almost like I was miming kneading bread. "Transverso!"

The dough began to knead itself. I could see finger imprints of a large invisible hand occasionally on the dough. I sprinkled a bit more flour on the board so the dough didn't stick.

Everyone followed my example except for Anthony who glanced at Oliver and then cast the spell directly on his friend.

Invisible hands began to vigorously knead Oliver's face. It didn't appear to be hurting him, but it was smooshing his face into some interesting expressions.

"Hey!" Oliver's hands flew to his eyes to protect them. "Actually this is kind of nice as long as I protect my eyeballs."

"Oookay," I turned away from Oliver and Anthony and proceeded to ignore them. "We let this knead for about five minutes. Then we cast the bread rising spell, Fermentum. Then we use Wingardium Leviosa to flatten it out, and then we cook it. The Muggle way requires you to knead it and let it rise in more cycles, but I guess the spells do everything all at once. The baking spell cooks food really fast. Watch it carefully, because it can burn fast." I explained.

I turned the page of the recipe book to the cooking spell and then wiped my hands off on a towel that was tucked into my jean's belt loop.

"So what does everyone think of the new Professor?" Hannah asked from the back of the room.

"The class was really fun!" Neville exclaimed excitedly. "We had an obstacle course with live grindylows and he taught us some really cool defense spells!"

Anthony waved his wand at Oliver and canceled the kneading spell.

Huh, that was nothing like our boring classes. We'd worked on the disarming spell and then the point me spell (that tells you which direction is north). Both of which I had suggested. Honestly, I feel like I was making his lesson plan for him. Hell, maybe I should.

"Yeah it was really fun!" Oliver exclaimed. "We got to swing on ropes like Tarzan and fake monsters came at us that we had to defend ourselves against!"

Ah, Ravenclaw shares their Defense Against the Dark Arts class with Gryffindor don't they?

Hermione snorted. "Practical experience is all well and good, but homework is important for memorization!"

Oliver cast the kneading spell on his own dough ball and glanced back over at Hermione. "If you keep asking for homework in class you're going to get hexed in the hallways."

Hermione glared.

"Not by me!" Oliver cried out.

"That wasn't anything like our class. We just worked in groups," Eloise piped up directly in front of me.

"I bet he's working harder because Harry's in the class," I said bluntly.

Hermione nodded. "He was obviously playing favorites."

Neville frowned. "He didn't go easy on Harry. He's really good at Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"I think he's the best teacher we've got this year! I hope he doesn't disappear in mysterious circumstances like the last one!" Oliver waved his hand around his dough ball like he was trying to see if he could feel the invisible hand.

"An obstacle course must be difficult to set up. Maybe he'll give us the obstacle course later?" Eloise suggested always one for giving someone the benefit of the doubt.

"I wonder if he's really alright in the head. Azkaban is supposed to make you completely barmy. Is it okay for him to be teaching in a school?" Hannah theorized.

"Don't let Harry hear you say that," Neville warned. "Professor Black has practically adopted him."

Hannah shrugged. "How often do I talk to Harry?"

"You think we should have homework, right?" Hermione turned toward me hopefully. She had big puppy dog eyes.

I winced. "Sorry Hermione, I actually prefer practical classes," I admitted.

Hermione looked betrayed. Then she rallied and put her hands on her hips. Her sassiness level rose dramatically. "With that kind of attitude, you're going to do horrible on the O.W.L.s and the N.E.W.T.s!"

I laughed and was amused to see that it raised her sassiness level even further. "I actually don't care what I get on the standardized tests."

Hermione looked betrayed and scandalized. She's way too easy to wind up.

"Hermione, you can do your own homework and outside reading. You don't have to have it assigned in class. If you're concerned about the O.W.L.s get one of the official study guides and make sure you're covering the background info you need," I suggested.

Basically, make Sirius's damn lesson plan for him. Ugh.

Hermione looked unconvinced. "Are you going to do that?"

I cackled. "No."

"Yeah! Who wants a desk job anyway?!" Oliver exclaimed and held his hand up next to me for a high five.

"Hell yeah!" I gave him a hearty high-five. The loud smacking sound echoed in the stone room and maybe throughout the ages. Whose to say?

Hermione's left eyebrow twitched and she looked a bit speechless. She reminded me of a frozen computer that needed to be rebooted.

"I wouldn't mind an office job somewhere out of the way and quiet," Anthony said wistfully.

"I wouldn't mind a job in the Herbology research department," Neville added in.

It must be nice to be that young and already know exactly what you want to do when you grow up.

"Ha! You know you are all going to be members of my Super Wizard Space Force!" Oliver raised a flour encrusted fist dramatically over his head.

Anthony rolled his yes. "Don't just volunteer us for things without asking. How are you going to pay for it?"

Huh, I could pay for it...

"I can't say I care about the tests really either. It's not like Dad won't hand down his potion's store to me if my History of Magic grade is low. As long as I know Potions, it doesn't really matter," Kevin said. I feel like he was trying to be flippant, but I think he sounded just a little bit sad.

Everyone then spent a few minutes discussing what we wanted to do when we got older.

"I don't know what I want to do when I get older," Hannah admitted.

"I'm going to be a unicorn breeder!" Eloise said excitedly. She turned towards me. "What do you want to do Kasey?"

I shrugged. "I want to travel the world and have adventures. I suppose I could write books about my travels and different magical creatures, people, and cultures that I meet. You know, like Gilderoy Lockhart, but not a pompous fake."

Hermione gasped out loud. "Gilderoy Lockhart is NOT fake!"

I cackled again. It was an evil cackling kind of day.

Oh my sweet summer child.

"He's so fake. Nothing within his books adds up," I explained. I hadn't actually read that garbage, but book Hermione had found numerous flaws in them and that was good enough for me.

The irony of arguing with Hermione about Hermione's opinion was not lost on me.

We argued back and forth about Gilderoy Lockhart for a few minutes. The boys had no idea who he was. Surprisingly, Hannah was on my side. Although, her reasoning was that she didn't like men who had prettier hair than her...

I glanced at my dough. It looked like it was at the correct consistency now.

"Next is the rising spell. Fermentum!"

My dough ball rose slowly poofing up until it was a little white cloud. It reminded me of making smores in the microwave. Although, the dough stopped rising at a point and didn't become a giant marshmallow goo pile if you weren't watching closely.

"And then the super fun part! Wingardium Leviosa!" I lifted the pizza over my head and began to spin it quickly. It flattened out into a beautifully round circle. I then gently put it down onto my pizza pan. "Ta da!"

There was a chorus of Ooohs and Aaahs from the rest of the group. Everyone followed my example. The boys didn't have a dough fight. I was very proud of them.

"Then you put the pizza sauce on the dough and whatever toppings you want." I brushed the pizza sauce on and added some pepperonis. "The final stage is cooking the pizza. Be careful not to touch the red bubble. It's HOT. It only takes a few seconds to cook. Once it looks done, stop the spell immediately. It can burn really fast. The spell goes like this. Coquus!" I called out and waved my hand.

A red bubble appeared that encompassed the pizza and pan. The pizza cooked rapidly in front of my eyes like a cooking video on fast forward. The cheese became golden brown in five seconds.

The aroma of fresh and hot pepperoni pizza permeated the room and I nearly drooled on myself.

"Let's get these pizzas done and get a list of what everyone wants to cover first this year," I said and pointed to the bowls of toppings behind me.

Everyone started working on their own pizzas except for Hermione who was muttering to herself. I sidled closer so I could hear what she was saying.

"You're all going to fail the most important tests of your life. Ridiculous children.. Why I never..." Hermione muttered under her breath like a crazy old homeless lady.

She could really get stuck on things sometimes.

"Hey, I've got some extra pepperoni. Hermione, do you want it?" I asked Hermione and offered her my bowl.

Hermione frowned at me while I smiled at her as if to say 'I know you're trying to distract me from what's really important and I won't have any of it!' I continued to stare at her with a smile on my face. She was the first one to blink.

Hermione sighed. "Yes, please."

"Ohh, wicked! You've got pineapple! I want pineapple on mine!" Oliver sprinkled pineapple all over his pizza.

"Pineapple pizza for life!" I exclaimed and high fived Oliver again.

Hermione wrinkled her nose at us. "You're crazy and disgusting!"

Suddenly, the door to the club room opened and Daphne walked in carrying two buckets. She walked up to the group and as she got closer I saw that the bloody buckets were full of fish heads.

"I have brought the fish heads for toppings," Daphne said in her normal monotone.

Everyone froze and looked at me accusingly. Anthony and Neville looked horrified.

"You don't push fish heads on pizza," I rushed to explain. I think Anthony and Neville thought we were really going to top our pizzas with bloody raw fish heads.

"I'll try it!" Oliver offered enthusiastically.

"No. Just... no." I rubbed my hand over my face.

In the end, the pizzas turned out great... except for Oliver's disgusting fish head and pineapple pizza.

Another week passed, and I settled into the school routine again. Sirius's classes continued to be the same. They weren't incompetent or inaccurate. We did learn spells. They were just very lackluster. The pattern set in our first class held. He'd show us a spell enough times for us to try it ourselves and then he'd sit down and ignore us while we practiced. He'd answer questions as well if we asked. It was just glaringly obvious that his heart was not in it. Then later on, I'd hear from Hermione about the extravagant lesson he'd put on for Harry's class involving a makeshift full class war duel or simulated wilderness survival with real dark creatures.

Considering all the people who wanted to kill Harry, he did need practical classes like this. It doesn't mean I can't be super jealous though...

I followed my roommates down the Great Hall stairs late one Friday night after astronomy class. My neck ached after unsuccessfully trying to find the moon Triton for a solid hour. I couldn't just lie and said I found it either. Professor Sinistra could cast a spell that somehow told her if your telescope had laid eyes on the requested celestial body. It was super annoying.

I rubbed my neck absently as we made it to the first floor landing. My headache was back in full force and the something was on the tip of my brain again. The sight of the library off hours book return box at the far end of the hallway jolted something loose.

I had to... return a book?

My headache intensified into a migraine. My steps faltered.

Eloise, Hannah, and Susan noticed me stop and paused with me.

"Are you okay Kasey?" Eloise asked concerned.

I did have a book to return now. That made sense but... I didn't have a book to return last week?

I squinted at her. "Just a bit of a headache. I'm going to return a library book to the off hours bin really quick. I'll be right behind you."

"Don't dawdle! We're supposed to go right back to our dorms after Astronomy class!" Susan advised and started down the stairs into the basement. Hannah followed. Eloise paused for a moment looking concerned, and then followed behind them.

I walked over down the hallway and stopped in front of the library doors where the bin was. The bin was made of stone and looked like an obese gargoyle with a large gaping wide mouth and blunted teeth. I reached into my bag, pulled out the book, and dropped it into the gargoyle's mouth. It actually opened it's mouth wider and said 'ahhh' when I dropped it in.

I swear my fingers brushed against some other book when I had my hand in my purse. Did I check out another book? I don't remember checking out another book. But I've went overboard before on checking out books...

My migraine intensified and there was a jolting pain across my temples. I shut my eyes for a moment.

"Thompson! What are you doing outside of your dorm?" Snape barked.

I jumped back and opened my eyes. Snape was looming down upon me with narrowed eyes. It must be his turn to patrol the hallways. I hadn't even heard him walking up. I rushed to explain.

"I just dropped off a book to the library on the way back from astronomy class. I'm heading back to the dorm now."

Snape looked at me suspiciously.

Just in case, I threw up my Occlumency shields-

THE DIARY! YOU FORGOT THE FREAKIN DIARY! TAKE THE DIARY OFF TO THE ROOM OF REQUIREMENT RIGHT NOW! OH MY GOD! MORON! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHY DID I FORGET TO KEEP UP MY OCCLUMENCY LESSONS?! IDIOT! THERE'S NO WAY I ACTUALLY FORGOT! GO! GO NOW!

I froze and Snape looked even more suspicious.

"Sorry, I'm going right now! G-Goodnight Sir!" I turned around and ran down the stairs.

"No running!" He bellowed behind me.

I forced myself to a brisk walk until I was down the stairs and out of his sight. As soon he couldn't see me, I pulled out the Marauder's Map. I kept my Occlumency shields up locked tight like massive castle gates.

"I solemnly swear I'm up to no good!" I whispered as fast as I could. I glanced at the map, mentally noted a route to the seventh floor that didn't include any adults, and dashed up the stairs as fast as I could. As I ran, I cast Silencio onto myself so my pounding footsteps would go unheard.

I glanced at the map as I dashed up the stairs. On the fifth floor corridor, Filch was prowling around so I had to duck behind a tapestry and wait him to pass. As soon as he was around the corner, I jumped back out and ran up the last two flights of steps. I was glad I had cast silencio because now I was breathing hard like an overworked race horse.

I skidded to an exhausted stop in front of the room's secret entrance and paced back and forth thinking desperately, 'I need a room with a bunch of iron boxes! I need a room with a bunch of iron boxes of varying sizes!'

As soon as the room appeared, I dashed in and closed the door. All of the room's usual junk was present, but there was a cleared spot in the middle with a bunch of iron boxes. I ducked and weaved around the rows of junk making my way to the center. Excellent, now I just have to-

I stopped. The most beautiful, brilliant, sparkling tiara stood before me. It was made of gleaming silver and encrusted with precious diamonds. In the center, was a massive flawless blue sapphire. It would look beautiful on. I would be the prettiest-

FUCK YOU TOM RIDDLE AND YOUR PRETTY PRINCESS TIARA! LIKE HELL I'M PUTTING THAT SHIT ON!

I grabbed it with my other hand. It felt slippery and warm like I was holding a snake.

YOUR DAMN COSPLAY JEWELERY IS GOING IN SOME BOXES TOO! I'M NOT FALLING FOR THIS CREEPY EVIL SHIT!

I found the two smallest boxes and put the diary in one and the diadem tiara whatever thing in the other. My headache immediately lessened. I then placed them in increasingly larger boxes like some super evil iron Russian nesting dolls. By the fifth box, my headache had completely gone. However, I decided that I would for broke and used up all the boxes I had. By the end, the two Horcruxes were encased in seven layers of iron boxes.

I then used magic to paint a blue X on the diadem's box and a red X on the diary's box. I then cast the few locking spells I knew. They were vastly inadequate, but at least it wouldn't pop open accidentally. At least, I hope it wouldn't. What the fuck would I know? I could have been a few days away from choking chickens with my bare hands!

I searched my memories, but I couldn't identify any gaps.

I breathed a sigh of relief and nearly sank to my knees.

I had no idea just having the thing near me could affect me like that. Did that ever happen in the books? I guess there was hints that wearing the locket was having a negative effect on their attitudes. But to make me forget completely and the thing was just in my bag near me?

Well... I hadn't forgotten completely. Part of me knew something was wrong and that I had forgotten something important. I must not be complete shit at Occlumency.

I've got to get the heck out of here and downstairs before my roommates think something's happened to me.

I left the Room of Requirement and carefully navigated my way down to the Hufflepuff dormitories using the Marauder's Map. My heart didn't stop pounding until I stepped into my dorm room and dropped my book bag on my bed.

My roommates were all sitting on their beds waiting for me to return.

"Where were you?" Eloise asked concerned.

"I got lost on the road of life?" I tried.

I suddenly had three girls glaring at me.

"I wanted to see if I could sneak around a bit without being caught," I tried.

"Oh," Eloise said as if that was a reasonable explanation.

"You should have invited us along!" Hannah protested as Susan rolled her eyes.

All of the girls seemed to take this bullshit explanation as truth really easy. I guess that says a lot about me.

I have to figure out a way to get rid of the Horcruxes in that room or somehow lure Dumbledore to finding them himself. What if they manage to lure some other kid into that room despite the iron boxes? Sure, the ridiculous level of iron should contain just about anything according to the Curse breaking books I read, but I'm sure they didn't take into account chunks of evil people souls. And now there was two of them in the same room! That couldn't be good either.

And hell, I need to do something about the Basilisk just in case too. I had a good idea who I wanted to drop that problem on, I just needed a bit of snake skin first so they'd take my letter seriously...

I did not forget to do my Occlumency exercises that night.