This time, Nathan knew the way.
Last year it had been only the three of them, but today the group also included Jack, Archie, Julie and Lucas.
It seemed that the ideal spot to find a Christmas tree was no longer a secret, and Elizabeth didn't mind a bit.
They all started out together, but little by little, Julie and Lucas veered off.
Elizabeth had her arm through Nathan's, and he was carrying Jack on his shoulders. Archie was walking with them, having given up trying to keep up with Allie as she kept running ahead.
Archie turned to Nathan and smiled as they walked together. "If you'd told me a year ago that I'd be here, doing this with all of you, I would have said you'd lost your mind," he said. His voice was filled with emotion as he reached up to touch Jack's hand. "You've got no idea what this means to me. The simple act of picking a tree for Christmas..." He took a deep breath and looked at his son. "Didn't know if I'd ever have the pleasure of doing something like this with family again."
Nathan nodded, putting his arm around Archie's shoulders. "I'm sorry you had to spend so many Christmases in there, Dad. I don't imagine they put much effort into holidays in the justice system."
Archie raised an eyebrow. "Well, I don't know. Extra helpings of turkey if you bribed the guards." He winked at Elizabeth.
"Oh, Archie," she said, reaching across in front of Nathan to touch Archie's hand. "We're so glad to have you with us. And no bribery necessary for extra turkey this year." She smiled at him. "Though a hug is always welcome."
Archie laughed. "That's not a bribe, Elizabeth. That's just a good trade."
He turned back toward the path, and Elizabeth saw his face darken. "What is it, Archie?" she asked.
Shaking his head, he said, "Just thinking of Donnie. Still in there." He brightened and turned to her, "I wrote him and said Stella and Jessie were coming for the holidays. Just got an answer back. Donnie's happier about that than I can ever remember him being about anything. He says he can't thank you all enough."
Elizabeth smiled at him. "Maybe one year Donnie will be able to join us too."
Archie looked at her and then looked at Nathan. "You found a woman with a very good heart, son."
"I don't know much, Dad, but, oh boy, do I know that," Nathan said, looking over at Elizabeth and kissing her gently on the forehead.
They walked on for a while, trying to find the right tree to stand in front of the windows looking out over the pond. Then Elizabeth spoke.
"I think Christmas last year was hard for all of us, Archie." She looked up at Nathan and said, "Nathan and I talked right here in this stand of trees about how difficult it was to make Christmas special for a child when you're doing it alone."
Archie frowned. "You two weren't together last Christmas?"
Elizabeth looked over at Archie and smiled. "Nathan and I were going through some challenges last year at this time."
Archie smiled back. "Looks to me like you got them worked out."
Elizabeth and Nathan looked at each other. Elizabeth said, gratefully, "We did."
"Of course, the Christmas before last," Nathan said, "Allie and I were posted at Fort Simpson." He shook his head. "Allie was great about it, but on Christmas morning we were all required to muster to the Mess Hall to listen to our commander recap the year behind us and set goals for the year ahead." He raised his eyebrows. "That was a banner Christmas day."
Elizabeth laughed. "Allie told me what you said to her when she mentioned how boring that was." She smiled at him. "'At least there were a lot of fellows in red suits?' Did you really say that?"
Nathan grinned. "You know me, always looking on the bright side."
Archie said, "How well do you remember Christmases in Airdrie, son?"
Nathan thought for a moment. "I remember the ones when Sarah and I were about eight or nine the best." He looked over at Archie, frowning slightly. "What was that sled that we used to use? We would find some huge tree and bring it back behind Nugget..."
"I made that," Archie said, proudly. We started with the wagon, but it was never big enough for the tree you three wanted."
Nathan laughed. "We had high ceilings," he said.
"And I always ended up having to cut the top off to get the star on, if you remember," Archie laughed too.
Nathan said, "Do you remember the year that Sarah and I got new saddles?' We kept looking under the tree and I think we each got a pair of socks."
Archie raised his eyebrow. "That was fun to watch," he said, winking at Elizabeth.
Nathan continued. "So, finally, there's nothing left under the tree and Mom says, 'Well, time for chores,' and Sarah and I dragged ourselves out to the barn to muck out the stalls, and there they were," Nathan said, his eyes alive with the memory. "Two of the prettiest saddles I'd ever seen."
"Like shiny new pennies," Archie said. He looked around to Elizabeth. "I had their names stamped in the leather so they couldn't fight over whose belonged to who."
Nathan and Archie walked for a bit in silence, and Elizabeth had no intention of disturbing it. This was a conversation, like so many these days, that Nathan and Archie had never had before.
Jack was wriggling a little on Nathan's shoulders, and Archie reached up to him. Jack put out his arms for him. "Why don't we go see how Allie is doing, Jackie?" he said.
Nathan looked over at his father. "Thanks, Dad."
They watched Archie walk away, holding tight to Jack's hand, and then they were alone. Nathan gazed at Elizabeth and looked around. He took her hand and walked through until he found a spot that was surrounded by thick fir trees.
Nathan put his arms around her and touched her hair softly. "I wanted to tell you something. Last year, walking through these trees with you? I couldn't remember being so happy to be with another person. It was such a beautiful day."
"And you said there was nowhere else you'd rather be." Suddenly, Elizabeth looked up at him. "Nathan. I've never asked you this. Right after you said that, you said my name, and you were about to tell me something but then Allie called us. What were you going to say?"
Nathan looked down and then up into her eyes. "I was going to ask you if I should take the Inspector's job. And if you seemed shocked that I'd asked you, I was going to tell you that I was asking because of Allie."
"And what if I'd just said, 'Don't go'?" she asked softly.
"I would have kissed you," he said, almost in a whisper. "I'd be embarrassed to tell you how many times I've thought about that moment. How it could have gone another way."
Elizabeth smiled at him with love in her eyes. She put her arms around him more tightly. "In your defense, you did get interrupted a lot when you were about to say something important. It really wasn't fair."
Nathan laughed and said softly, "I had ideas about how I wanted to say things, and when I lost my concentration like that, I figured I'd mess it up." He looked into her eyes. "And it mattered. You mattered. I already loved you then, you know."
Elizabeth looked up at him tenderly. "Honestly, it was never loving you that was the problem, it was the courting, the public nature of it." She looked down at the buttons on his coat. "I just didn't know how long was the right amount of time... to..."
"To grieve," he said simply.
She looked up sharply. "Yes."
He smiled at her. "And aside from the fact that I thought you'd already chosen Lucas... I know you understand about the brotherhood of the Mounties, but I'm not sure you know how difficult it was for me to... I didn't want to take advantage of the feelings my uniform might bring up for you. The good and the bad."
Elizabeth put her hand on his cheek. "Nathan. You've never told me that." She nodded. "And you're right. That was a part of the confusion. I was attracted to the red serge and afraid of it. But it didn't take me long to see... you. Inside the uniform. Completely separate. And I fell in love with you, almost in spite of the uniform."
Nathan laughed softly. "So while we were walking through these trees a year ago... all that was going through our heads. And through it all, I was fighting the urge to just take you in my arms and kiss you."
Elizabeth laughed. "That would have been a surprise."
He looked at her intently. "What would you have done?"
They were standing so close that he could see the gold flecks in her eyes, sparkling in the winter sunlight, and her eyes were entirely focused on him.
Elizabeth asked softly, "Where would Allie have been when you made this bold move?"
"Far away, looking for the perfect tree," he said, moving closer to her.
"Well, then," Elizabeth said softly, her lips only inches from his, "I would have kissed you back."
Nathan bent down slightly and touched her lips with his. They were both thinking of that day a year ago, and they could imagine this kiss as if it was their first, as it would have been that day.
The sounds of the forest were all around them, and they could even hear Julie's voice echoing through the trees. There was birdsong, and the faint whisper of the wind in the branches, and still they held tightly to each other, remembering and wondering what would have been different if they'd given in to their impulses on that day so long ago.
And separately, they realized that they didn't want anything to be different. The two people they were now were the only people they wanted to be. No regrets. No what ifs.
As Nathan moved his lips from hers, Elizabeth sighed and opened her eyes. "Do you remember what I said to you that day?" She brushed her fingers across his cheek. "When it's right, you can just feel it."
Nathan smiled at her. "I thought you were talking about finding the perfect Christmas tree," he said.
Before she leaned up and kissed him again, she said, "Oh, is that what you thought I was talking about...?"
"Dad? Mom?" Allie's voice came through the trees, and they laughed softly, holding each other. Nathan looked at her as if to say, Ready? Elizabeth nodded, hoping the pink in her cheeks would be mistaken for cold.
"Here, Allie!" Nathan called out, and he led Elizabeth by the hand out to the main path.
"I found it!" Allie said. "Grandpa and Jack have it staked out so no one else can get it. We could hear Aunt Julie getting closer..."
"Let's go, then," Elizabeth said, laughing. "Lead the way, Allie."
And there it was. The perfect tree. The perfect size and shape. The kind of tree that you look at and you not only know exactly where it will go, but what it will look like completely decorated.
"Allie," Nathan said, shaking his head. "Two years in a row?" He turned to Elizabeth and said, "That's it. She picks out our tree every year."
"Deal." Elizabeth said.
Nathan and Archie got on each end of the saw and had the tree down within minutes. "I'll bring the wagon around," Archie said. "You want to bring Jack and come with me, Alliebeck?"
Turning to Nathan, Allie said, "Will you guard the tree?"
Nathan's face turned very serious. "I am a Mountie, after all."
Allie laughed and rolled her eyes at him. Then she took Jack's hand and said, "Let's go see the horsey!" as they turned to the path Archie had just gone down. "Can Jack and I hold the reins, Grandpa?" Allie called, following after him.
Elizabeth could only wonder at his answer, because their voices were lost in the trees.
They might have had thirty seconds of silence.
"Elizabeth!" Julie's voice called out. First she came around the corner and then Lucas, laughing and trying to keep up with her.
"Is this a race?" he said breathlessly, putting his arm around her shoulder.
"Yes, it is! A race against time!" she said, laughing. Looking up at him she said, "You do realize that we have four trees to put up? My house and yours, plus the main room of the saloon, and then, Le Bistro?"
Lucas raised an eyebrow. "No, my tree is the one in the saloon. I don't need one at home." He looked behind Julie and saw Elizabeth shaking her head with a smile and wide eyes as if to say, This is not a battle you will win. It's futile. Nathan looked as if he was about to witness an accident.
Julie turned to him, aghast. "You don't put a Christmas tree in your house?"
Looking halfway at Elizabeth and Nathan and then back to Julie, he said tentatively, "Yes-s-s, I do." Then he looked at Julie and said, "But all the ornaments go on the tree in the saloon, so I don't usually...
"Oh, I have boxes and boxes of them. Mother didn't like to have the same ornaments two years in a row, so she would have them put in boxes upstairs. Then she would forget." Julie smiled prettily at him.
Lucas sighed. He did have to admit that winter was a good look on Julie. Her red hair against her white wool cap, paired with the glow in her cheeks...
"Whatever you want," he said softly. And behind her, he saw Elizabeth smile and Nathan nod.
Lucas had certainly known a number of women, but Julie was like none of them. Being with her reminded him of the roller coaster he'd ridden three summers ago on Coney Island. That feeling of uncertainty, of slight danger, the climb, the wind in your hair, and fear that turns to laughter. And then when it's over, you only want to ride it again.
He probably shouldn't have done it right there in the clearing in front of Nathan and Elizabeth, but it wasn't really a decision. Lucas took Julie's face in his hands and kissed her.
Nathan took Elizabeth's hand and walked with her over to their Christmas tree. She looked up at him with a question in her eyes. He smiled and whispered, "I'm the last person who wants to interrupt a man when he has something important to say."
Elizabeth giggled as they walked to a spot on the path out of earshot.
Lucas pulled away and looked into Julie's eyes. He wasn't aware of anyone or anything beyond her lovely face. Before he thought too hard about it, he said, softly, "I love you, Julia."
Julie gasped and then beamed, her eyes sparkling. She threw her arms around him and said, "Finally! I love you, too!"
Julie's squeal was what brought Nathan and Elizabeth running.
Lucas kissed Julie once more quickly, and then turned toward Elizabeth and Nathan. He put his arm through Julie's and leaned down to whisper in her ear.
Julie sighed and nodded, smiling at him.
Lucas grinned and pulled himself up to his full height. Standing formally next to Julie, he said, "You are the first to know. We're officially courting."