As much as Santana hates the snow, she thinks it's possible that she hates the rainy winter even more. Everything is cold and damp and she feels like she just can't get warm ever. The cold seeps into her bones and every night when she gets home from work, she crawls under as many blankets as possible, just trying to feel better. It's been months since she's spoken to her parents, her mother hasn't tried to call her since the incident with Brittany and instead of feeling anxious about it, Santana is just calm. Her stomach doesn't hurt thinking that they might call to stop over, her head doesn't ache remembering the cruel words that have been said in her presence.

It's one of those cold, rainy nights that January and February of 1985 seem to bring and Brittany is working late. Santana sits upstairs in the office, poring over her ledgers and sipping a glass of wine. The sound of rain in the roof is oddly comforting and she relaxes in her chair, feeling the most at peace that she has in a long time. When she hears footsteps downstairs, she smiles, knowing that Brittany is home, knowing that it's Friday, knowing that they'll have three days to spend together since Monday is President's Day and the bank is closed.

"Hey." Brittany peeks in the office door, hair dripping wet from the rain. It's an odd sort of feeling, but suddenly, in that moment, Santana feels something shift in her very being. It's just a 'hey,' it's just a smile, but Santana feels this sense of knowing deep within her chest.

"Hi." She smiles back, her eyes crinkling softly. "You're home."

It stays with Santana all through the weekend. She's shaken by the feeling that the simplest thing, Brittany dripping wet and standing in her office doorway, brought out in her, but it's there, and she knows that there's no going back. So she plans. She thinks. She obsesses. She talks to Mercedes when she goes back to work on Tuesday and she knows that it's going to happen. Mercedes agrees to meet her after work on Thursday at a store way out in Brooklyn, a store in a place where no one will know her and she can feel safe doing the biggest thing she'll ever do in her life.

"So this is real?" Mercedes asks when Santana gets out of her cab.

"It's really. It's crazy, I know...and I don't even...I don't even know what she'll say."

"You know what she's going to say, I think you've known it from the first day you met her."

"The first day I met her, I never thought I'd do this. 'Cedes, I didn't even think I'd do this three months ago. It's crazy."

"You keep saying that it's crazy."

"It is, I know it is. It's just like...everything us stacked against us." Santana sighs. "My parents, the world. But all it does is make me want to do this even more."

"You really love her."

"She changed something in me. It's like...my chemical makeup is different ever since I've known her. I've never known what joy was until she brought it into my life. She looks at me and the fear and the shame and the hate I feel for myself just fades away. When I'm with her, I feel whole in a way I never have before. And she just...she doesn't ask for anything from me. She understands me and accepts that as much as I'd give her the world if I could, there are some things I just can't. And she doesn't expect I'll ever do this, but that's why I want to. I want her to know all that she means to me, I want her to have this one normal thing in a world of things that aren't right and aren't fair. I...I just want her."

"Then let's go do this."

Though Santana is so nervous the whole time she's in the store with Mercedes, the trip is a success and she breathes a sigh of relief on the cab ride home. Brittany is working late, she's been teaching a 7:00 class and she won't say no to doing it, wanting to give Carl every reason to promote her when her year is up. Santana goes home and she puts her purchase away before changing into her pajamas and settling in on the couch. She has some work to do, but she'll leave it for another night. The day was emotional for her and she knows the next night will be even more so, so she just wants to veg and watch TV and get in bed with Brittany when she comes home.

"That was the longest day ever." Brittany kicks off her shoes and leans back against the door. "I'm so glad to be home."

"I'm glad you're home too." Santana smiles and moves over a little on the couch, knowing that Brittany will want to sit. "Charles in Charge is on."

"Ugh, good." She stops in front of the couch to kiss Santana's lips, then sinks down beside her. "I'm all sweaty."

"Do you want to shower and then relax or are you good?"

"I just want to hang out with you for awhile. I hate hating my job."

"What can I do?"

"Build a time machine so the year goes faster? No, but really, nothing. Just being with you makes me feel better."

"I feel the same way, you know."

"I do." Brittany grins, resting her head on Santana's shoulder. "And tomorrow is date night."

"It is, and I'm really excited about it."

"You're cute, you know that?"

"Britt..."

"You are. I like looking at your face."

"It's not going anywhere..."

They spend the night relaxing and when Santana gets into bed, she feels butterflies in her stomach. Everything feels so big and intense and she just kind of breathes, trying to center herself. For the first time though, she doesn't feel that throbbing in her stomach. The butterflies are good, they're a reassurance that the way she feels is real. Brittany falls asleep first and Santana just watches her, loving the rise and fall of her chest, loving the sound of her breathing. It's late when she finally falls asleep and she knows the next day will be long, but then it's the weekend, then she's with Brittany.

The next morning is rough. Hudson screws up big time and Santana spends hours fixing his mess. She wants to fire him so badly, but she's scared. No, more than scared, she's terrified. It haunts her that he might know something about her, might suspect by the way she defends Kurt. It's an awful feeling, but there's nothing she can do. Sometimes she wonders if she should ask Mike to come to a work function with her, draw away some suspicion , but she doesn't know him well enough to ask something like that of him and...she feels like she would be betraying Brittany if she did.

It's pouring again when Santana leaves work. She's in a bad mood, but she doesn't want to be. Once she sees Brittany, she'll be better, she knows she will. Date night will be a quick dinner and a movie, that's what Brittany said she wanted. Santana would have done something fancy, but she knows that Brittany prefers simple and that she's been dying to see The Breakfast Club, so that's what they'll do. Brittany still isn't home when Santana gets to the house but she sheds her work clothes and changes into jeans and a cashmere sweater. She wishes the rain would stop, give them one night of reprieve where they don't have to fight for a cab, but it seems unlikely.

"I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" Brittany cries out as she bursts into the house. "Give me ten minutes, I'll take the fastest shower of my life."

"It's fine, Britt, the movie isn't for two and a half hours, we'll have plenty of time to eat." Santana stands up and gently kisses her lips, feeling those butterflies again.

"Are you okay? You're like...weirdly calm."

"I'm good." Santana smiles. "Go shower."

Once Brittany is ready, they decide to just go to the diner. Santana is really in the mood for Chinese, but after Brittany's stint at Chang's, she hardly ever wants to eat it and Santana gets it. Brittany tells Santana that she's half-starved and inhales her burger while Santana just smiles and eats her club sandwich. It's a good kind of date night, Santana decides. It's the kind where they're just relaxed and comfortable and Santana thinks it's a good lead up to later.

After the movie, Brittany is positively buzzing. Even Santana enjoyed it and since the rain stopped, they walk home. Santana feels a little like she's going to throw up, but she knows she'll survive. She's with Brittany, everything is better with Brittany and she just keeps telling herself that as they walk.

"You're weird tonight." Brittany comments, echoing what she said earlier. "Did you have a bad day at work?"

"I'm fine, I promise. I've just been...thinking a lot. Mostly about how I acted at Mike and Artie's wedding."

"Santana, that was months ago. You don't have to hold guilt in all this time."

"It's not guilt...it's...just. I didn't understand it, you know. I've spent my whole life listening to people talk about when I'm going to marry a man, when I'm going to have children, when I'm going to stay home from my job. My parents...marriage never looked like love to me. It looked like something you check off a list. Then I met you, and I finally knew what people were talking about when they talk about love. But the thing is, for the first time I could reconcile marriage and love, the whole world is against it. Britt, there's a lot I can't give you. I don't think I'll ever be out like you are and maybe that makes me a coward, but I can't do it. I can't give you children. I could give you the house in the suburbs, if you really wanted it, but I'd feel like we'd have to hide what we meant to each other even more. But there are some things I can. I can promise to love you for the rest of my life. I can be your greatest supporter, the one you lean on in good times and in bad. And I can give you what Mike and Artie had, I can stand up in front of my friends and promise to love you in sickness and in health. I can dance with you at Holly's. I can give you this." Santana reaches into her pocket and slides out the ring box, carefully opening it. "I can be everything to you that a wife should be, if you just say yes."

"Santana." Brittany gasps. "Are you...oh my God."

"I'm asking you to marry me, Britt, because all I want is to spend the rest of my days with you."

"You don't have to do this..."

"I'm not doing it because I have to, I'm doing it because I want to. I don't care if it's legal or not, I want you to know that my heart is yours forever. But if you—"

"I want to. I so want to." Brittany doesn't even bother to wipe the tears from her eyes, she just lets them fall. "Yes, yes I will."

Santana feels like she's looking at the sun, looking into Brittany's tear filled eyes and her heart flips in her chest. Right in front of her is the one thing she never thought she'd have, the thing she never thought she deserved to have. She knows she'll spend all of her days trying to be good enough for Brittany, trying to prove that she's worthy, but in this moment, everything feels good and right and real. She gently slips the ring onto Brittany's finger and Brittany launches herself toward Santana, pulling her close and kissing her.

"I love you." She whispers against Santana's lips. "I love you."

After Brittany spends a good ten minutes staring at her ring, she insists on taking Santana to bed. For Santana, everything feels different, good different, and afterwards, she lays with her head on Brittany's chest just taking it all in.

"You okay?"

"I am." Santana nods. "Just...hoping I'm enough for you."

"You've always been enough, Santana. What I want most of all is for you to be enough for you. You've had so much hurt in your life, you deserve so many good things."

"I'm not going to see them anymore, you know."

"I won't hold you back if you change your mind. I'd understand." Brittany promises.

"I won't. I've wanted them to love me for so long..."

"I think they love you, I think they just have a terrible way of showing it."

"They love who they think I should be. And if they knew about us...I'm so scared all the time."

"I know." Brittany runs her hand through her hair and sighs. "I wish I could take that away."

"Do you think it'll ever be any different? Do you think there'll ever be a day where I can just be me?"

"I...don't know. If I could, I'd promise you that some day I could walk into a work party with you and you wouldn't lose your job, or we could spend Christmas with your parents and they wouldn't shun you. But I just don't know. The one thing I do know though is that I'm always gonna be right here. When you have a bad day, I'll hold you in my arms until you fall asleep. I'll kiss you behind closed doors. I'll love you until the end of time."

"I never thought I was lucky until I met you. Everything I have, it came from hard work. I'm a Hispanic woman In a world of white men, but I've worked a hundred times harder to get where I am. But you...you made me think that luck exists because I'm so lucky to be with you, to know that you want us to last forever."

"I don't need a big spectacle, just so you know. If you wanted this to be it, for me to wear this ring and to know that we're married, that's okay. No one else has to watch."

"No, Britt. You deserve more than that and I want more than that for both of us. We'll make plans, we'll have everyone here if that's okay and we'll stand up in front of them all and vow to love and cherish each other. It won't be a wedding like my parents had, but it'll mean so much more."

When she falls asleep, Santana feels calm in a way she never has. Being in Brittany's arms, touching her left ring finger, it just fills her up. She knows she's not permanently cured from being terrified all the time, but in her home, she feels so much love that it makes all of the outside stuff feel bearable.

She's so glad the next morning is Saturday so she can wake up and not rush out the door. Brittany is still sleeping so she gently kisses her forehead and slips out of bed. Because she can't bear to stay in her pajamas, she washes up and gets dressed and she goes into the kitchen. She's surprised to find Millie standing over the counter with a bottle of bleach in her hand, but then she remembers that she'd taken a day off earlier in the week and wanted to come in to finish up the house.

"Morning, sunshine." Millie smiles, putting down her sponge. "I don't think I've ever known you to sleep this late."

"Millie, can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"If I had a wedding, would you come?"

"You know I'd be there with bells on."

"Even if..."

"No matter who you were to marry, I'd be there." She nods and Santana's breath rushes out.

"I asked Brittany if she would marry me." Santana whispers, knowing this is the first time she'd openly acknowledged it to Millie.

"That's just wonderful. Come give the a hug."

Millie opens up her arms and Santana steps in. Before she knows it, she's crying in big ugly sobs and Millie just squeezes her a little tighter. It's a cathartic release, she thinks, feeling that embrace after she'd confessed something that scares her so much, so she savors the physical contact and keeps right on crying.

"Are you alright, honey?"

"It's just...you mean so much to me and to know that you support this. My parents..."

"They don't deserve to be part of it if they don't think you're something real special."

"When I was little, I used to play wedding with my grandma. I always thought when I got engaged, they'd be the first ones I told, but it's you, you're the one who's always supported me."

"Blood doesn't necessarily make a family. The way you've been good to me and my Marley, I consider you like a second daughter."

"Really?" Santana wipes her face and sniffles.

"Really. And if I can be frank, I think you and Brittany both got really lucky. I can't imagine how hard it is."

"It's easier for her, I think. She is proud to be who she is and I'm just...everything is behind closed doors."

"I don't think there's a right way to be you. I tell Unique this all the time. I know she has a hard time of it, having to pretend to be Wade all day, but until the world changes, you all have to do whatever feels right to survive."

"Some times I feel like I couldn't do it without Brittany. She came into my life just when I needed her most."

"She's good for you." Millie nods. "She helps you relax a little. You were always so high strung and had every reason to be, but you're softer now, like you feel safe."

"That's the thing, I do. I get to come home and feel like...I don't know, I'm protected from the world. I don't want to do anything to mess it up."

"I know we've never talked about it before, but I can see by the way that girl looks at you that it'd be pretty hard for you to mess up."

"Thank you, Millie. Just...thank you."

"I'll get everything done quick so I can be out of your hair."

"It's alright, stay as long as you want."

By the time Brittany wakes up from their late evening, Millie is long gone but left Brittany's favorite banana bread in her wake. Standing at the counter, Santana cuts two pieces and brings them over to the table with her fresh cup of coffee. Brittany is just marveling down at the diamond on her finger, twisting it in the light, and Santana can't help but smile. Seeing Brittany so happy just makes her want to make her even happier every day for the rest of her life.

"Do you want a ring?" Brittany asks, looking up from her diamond. "I can't afford something like this, but if you want something, I'll get it."

"I..." Santana bites her bottom lip, thinking hard on that. "I think when we're married, I'd like some kind of simple band. Nothing that...I'm sorry..."

"Nothing that makes the people at work ask too many questions, I totally get it babe. And if you didn't want to wear it out of the house, that's okay."

"I do. I'm going to be married to you. I don't need to share my personal life with anyone. They can make their assumptions about the gender of the person I'm married to."

"You're really brave, I hope you know that."

"I never feel brave." Santana shakes her head. "I feel like a coward."

"Don't ever say that again." Brittany frowns. "You're not a coward, you're practical and I get it. You have to keep yourself safe."

"I'm so proud to be yours. I really just...need you to know that."

"I do. I promise, I do."