A/N: I feel like I haven't given Jared a lot of space to process how being a wolf has affected his life, so here we are. Enjoy!

Jared's been angry, stressed, heartbroken, and much more about Kim, but he's never been mad at her. Right now, he's teetering on a weird edge between anger and shame. Paul shakes off his hand, scowling.

"What?" he asks. Maybe his face is weird because Paul's face softens and he asks again, kinder this time. Embarrassment burns across his face and he ducks his face.

"Nothing," he mumbles. Jared yanks open the truck door, hopping inside. He's not even mad that Kim's going on to study without him, or that she's going to Forks. He's pissed and embarrassed that she couldn't even tell him.

"What's the deal about the library?" Paul tries again. "Because it's in Forks? Did you tell her she couldn't go and—"

"I don't tell her what to do," he says sharply. The wolf within him howls, aching to be released, and suddenly, his control tremors. He grips the steering wheel tight, knuckles going stark white against the dark leather.

"Stop the car," Paul says, a rare note of authority in his voice. The wolf snarls in his head, bristling at the idea of a pack mate trying to pull rank.

"Jared," he says, louder this time. "Stop the fucking car before you phase."

Jared slams on the brakes, breathing hard. The wolf claws at his mind ripping into the humanity within him. He thrashes against the seatbelt, and thankfully, Paul is there, unclicking it and sprinting out and around to get Jared's door.

He tumbles out of the car, humanity waning. He chokes, the sudden transition shocking his system. Paul grabs his shoulders, shoving him towards the trees. Jared can't even pinpoint where they even are.

The wolf claims him completely and his mind seems to dissolve. There is nothing for a minute, the Jared comes back to himself, orienting himself.

What happened?

Sam's voice is grounding and he focuses on it, breathing hard. Sam makes his way over to him, giving him enough space. Against his will, the memory of Kim that day on the beach plays. The trapped look on her face, like she could see bars around La Push.

That's not true, Jared

Come on, we're not trapped here. Don't say shit like that

Kim's face is clear in his mind, the uncertainty on her face, the doubt. Is her holding her back?

She loves you, man, she'll be where you are

I can't hold her back, I don't want to make her choose between me and her life

That's not your call, that something only she can figure out

Pull it the fuck together dude, come on

Shit, Paul, give him a minute

What happened to Mr. Control?

Jared rolls his eyes, but its' clear what Paul's trying to do. He's not too great with genuine feelings so he aims for levity at all times.

I ripped through my clothes

At this, Paul and Sam both howl with laughter. Jared scoffs, pawing at the ground. If Sam and Paul decide it's funnier to leave him naked, he could probably make his way to his house without being seen, phase back, and sprint to the big tree outside his bedroom and shimmy up to his room. Naked. Fuck.

I'll get you clothes if you join up on the construction project this week

Sam's dad is starting a new construction project and Sam's his right hand man. They've been short of people and Sam's been trying to get Paul and him to join up, but they'd opted to laze around and play video games all summer.

Okay, fine

With that, Sam trots off in the direction he came and Jared settles down amidst the plush grass to wait. He plays that last memory of Kim over, the caught look on her face and Laura's confusion. She's going to leave, he realizes. It's going to be painful as fuck, but he has to accept it and let her go.

Paul eyes him warily, too caught up in the adrenaline of the recent change to actually settle down. He paces back and forth, tail twitching.

Eventually, it stops right?

What does?

Being a wolf

Fuck, man, I don't know. Billy Black even said he had no idea until his father was on his deathbed, telling him everything last minute

This secrecy thing sucks

Fucking tell me about it

Sam returns as a human, dressed in a tank top and cutoff shorts. He tosses something similar to Jared. He phases back to change while Paul runs off to find where he tossed his clothes. Once the three of them are human again, they make their way back to Sam's.

Emily sits at the kitchen table when they walk in, flipping through the course catalog for the local community college. She's got a pen in hand, lips pursed as she considers her options. For a minute, she looks so much like Kim that Jared's heart hurts, but then she sees them and lets out a surprised laugh, hopping up to give them all quick hugs.

"Going back to school?" Paul asks, picking up the catalog. "Business classes, huh?"

"You know, I've been thinking of maybe running a bakery from home," Em says. "Nothing crazy, but maybe just to cater to cafes here, or parties and stuff. Oh, and speaking off, Jared, tell Kimmy to call me back. I need to pick flavors for her birthday cake."

"Right," Jared mumbles, scrubbing a hand over his hair. "Yeah, I will."

Sam stares at the catalog for a hard moment, then looks up to Emily. He's frowning, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Em, you had a full ride to school, didn't you? UCLA?" he asks.

"Dude! You could've gone to UCLA?" Paul crows. "Why the hell didn't you go?"

"First of all, I didn't have a full ride," she clarifies, suddenly defensive. "I just got in, that's all. And besides, it was way too far, way too expensive, and sister just found out she was pregnant at the time—"

"And me," Sam intones. An uncomfortable silence settles over the kitchen and Emily just stares at Sam, the same caught expression on her face that Kim had.

"Sam," she stutters, after a minute, but he shakes his head.

"I'm going to bed," he says gruffly. "I have to meet my dad early." Emily watches him go, looking decidedly lost.

"What happened earlier," she asks softly after a minute. "Did one of you phase for something serious? Is that what this is about?" Jared and Paul share a look, then shake their heads.

"Never mind, Emily, it's no big deal," Jared says. He makes up his mind. He is not going to hold Kim back. He loves Sam and Emily, thinks they're a great couple, but UCLA? How could anyone bypass such an opportunity? "I'll talk to Kim."

He means it, too.

A/N: Anyways, I'm about to try my hand at angst, so hold onto your britches. Let me know what you thought!