Chapter 38: I'm Afraid
Derek's Point-of-View
I handed the money quickly to the barista and snatched my expresso from her hands and threw it back like a tequila shot, letting it burn its way down my throat.
I took a deep breath and glanced at the shocked barista.
"Another one please."
She quickly fixed it and practically threw it at me. I did the same to that one.
I sighed in relief and gave her more money and a generous tip.
"Thanks. I needed that." I told her.
I hurried to the elevator and waited for it. When it opened, I got on, surprised to find it empty. As the door closed, a slender pale arm made its way in and opened it.
I practically glared at her.
"What is that look for?" She asked.
I paused for a moment and then pounded on the elevator stop button.
"The fuck?" She asked.
"What is that look for? You called me and woke me up out of a dead sleep to let me hear my sister fucking a man I hate." I spat.
"Me? What about you? You got me all worked up and then hung up on me!" She screeched.
"You told me you wax." I explained.
"So? Were all your whores hairy? Does that get you off? Cause I ain't growing pubes." She said.
"Are you serious? I rubbed two out in twenty minutes after hanging up with you!"
"On me, you hung up on me, not with me. That was just rude." She fumed.
"I'm rude? No, rude is teasing a guy like you are teasing me. You are fucking with me and I don't like it."
"Well that is just too damn bad. If you don't like it, walk away. No one is keeping you here." She yelled.
"No, I am not going to walk away. You want this just as bad as I do. So if I have to suffer so do you. Do you know I jack off five times a day just from being around you? Five times. DJ is chafed." I told her.
"That is what the lube is for." She mocked.
"I have been through two bottles and I ran out last night." I informed her. "I am getting callouses on my hand." I leaned forward to show her.
She jumped back.
"You did wash your hands, right?" She asked.
I shot her a dirty look.
Then, noticed that she seemed very tense, her breathing irregular.
"What is wrong with you? Oh shit, are you claustrophobic?" I asked suddenly.
"No." She said tersely.
I looked at her face and I grinned.
Her eyes were a dark forest green and were dilated. Add that to her other symptoms and she was either having a panic attack or she was horny.
I walked behind her and leaned close to her ear.
"You know, I have always had a thing for elevators." I breathed into her ear. She shivered and breathed faster.
"You're horny!" I announced loudly.
"I am…not. Just…it is hot in here." She explained lamely.
"I am actually very comfortable." I told her.
"Well, I am not…that." She said.
I cocked my head and examined her. I wish I could get inside her head. One minute, she was brazened and confident and the next she was shy and unsure.
Hmmm, wonder if she really was bipolar.
"Are you sure you are not bipolar?" I asked.
"What? No! Why would you ask that?" She yelled.
"You are just…I don't know what Meredith I am going to get from one day to the next. One minute you are handing me lube and the next you are blushing and can't say the word horny. So, what gives?" I asked.
"It is all the estrogen Derek. And the testosterone. It is both! I am perpetually horny and porny and I just want to fuck your brains out. And you are giving off this scent that everyone smells, and it is driving me crazy thinking of any other woman near you, but yet I can't bring myself to fuck you because I am afraid that once I do…" She trailed off and seemed to wilt.
"Once I do?" I prompted.
"You will disappear." She finished, her voice quiet and soft. She looked down at the floor.
Oh.
Oh!
I cursed my former lifestyle. I finally meet the woman of my dreams and she is afraid to trust me with her heart, because she was afraid I would stomp on it.
She was huddled in the corner of the elevator, looking up at the ceiling.
I moved towards her and she flinched.
I halted.
"I feel the same way." I told her. "That I am going to get sucked up in you and then you will decide that I am not good enough for you. I'm not. Not with the way I have been acting, but I am willing to take that chance, because I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special." I said sincerely.
She blinked and then looked at me.
"Did you seriously just quote Steel Magnolias to me?" She asked, incredulously.
"Oh…er…you have watched that movie, huh?" I asked. Shit.
"Yeah, me and every other woman under the age of seventy."
"I saw it last night. It was good, but it made me cry." I complained.
Meredith burst out laughing.
"What am I going to do with you?" She asked.
"You are going to take a chance and come to dinner at my house tomorrow night." I told her.
"I am, am I?" She asked.
"I sure hope so." I said, taking her hand.
She looked at me, her lips pursed, her gaze calculating.
"If you hurt me, I am going to cut off your dick." She said.
I winced, and I swear my testicles retreated inward.
"Well, we don't want that to happen, do we?" I said.
She moved very close to me and licked her lips.
"No, we don't, because I plan to use it very often in the near future." She said seductively.
The boys peeked their heads out from their hiding place.
She leaned forward, her lips brushing mine.
Suddenly the elevator jolted, and we were moving. Meredith leaned back, her expression one of satisfaction.
"But…until that moment comes, I would suggest buying more lube. See ya later!"
She rushed out of the open elevator doors, leaving me to face a crowd of irritated people waiting for the elevator. I quickly hid my hard on with my coat.
"We'll talk later?!" I yelled after her.
I made a note to steal some surgical lube before going home tonight.
Do you think that Meredith and Derek will hurt each other?