About two weeks after Umbridge's detention with Bloom, she's appointed 'High Inquisitor' - and now she has the power to inspect and dismiss teachers if she finds them unsatisfactory. Rather, if she thinks they're a threat to Fudge.
She starts inspecting everyone, all the way from Professor Trelawney in her tower to Professor Snape in his dungeons. Case in point, she comes in during the fifth year Potions class of Gryffindors and Slytherins, and starts interrogating Snape and questioning the students. "So, you applied first for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post, is that correct?"
Snape keeps his face neutral, and simply says "Yes."
Umbridge simpers "But you were unsuccessful?"
There's ice in Snape's tone when he says "Obviously."
Umbridge makes a note, then asks "Something you'd like to add, Miss Potter?"
Given the way the entire class suddenly has bated breath and a feeling of anticipation, Snape figures for sure Umbridge is going to get furious. Bloom looks up from her Cauldron, figuring Umbridge expects her to say something to make Snape get worse inspection, and says "No, I'm just wondering why you asked our Potions Professor, in the middle of teaching his Potions class, if he was denied the position your supposed to be filling."
Umbridge's face almost immediately turns a bright red, and she asks "Are you questioning my authority, young lady?!"
Bloom gives her a wide-eyed innocent look that doesn't convince the entire class and its Professor for a minute, saying "Your authority? Noooo, wouldn't dream of it." The sarcastic tone of voice she has for that last part says she's dreamed of doing much more than that.
As Bloom heads to the ingredients cabinet to get another ingredient to prepare, after telling Neville to stir the potion exactly three times clockwise, Umbridge turns away with a satisfied smirk on her face. Which falls away when they all hear "Your reasoning on the other hand…yes, I'm absolutely questioning why you logically reasoned it wasn't crystal clear that Professor Snape was given the Potions position instead of Defense."
There's a round of snickering, hushed and muffled as it is, as Umbridge whirls around so fast her quill flies out of her hand. Even Snape's enjoying this, and he didn't think he'd enjoy anything a child of James Potter - adopted or not - could do. He's not sorry he was proven wrong at the moment, or that it seems Black has been rubbing off on Bloom Jessica Potter just a bit in the time they've managed to scrape together. "Excuse me?!"
Bloom gestures around with one arm as she starts preparing her ingredient, and says "Perhaps I've been breathing Potion fumes, but it wouldn't cross my mind to ask the man who's been teaching Potions here since the end of the war if he was denied the Defense position…while we're in his classroom in the dungeons, in the middle of his class, and your our Defense professor for the year. Given all of that, it just seems a little…" she leans over, adds the ingredient to the potion, then coughs out a word that sounds a lot like 'ridiculous' - or…like the Boggart Charm.
Umbridge nearly shrieks "What?!"
Bloom straightens up, and says "Ridiculous. Excessively silly. Absurd. Need I go on?"
Umbridge fumes, but then starts questioning everyone - but it seems like Bloom Potter has been deemed something of a leader for the class if not the student population, as she seems to have set the tone for answering Umbridge's questions. Namely, answer in Snape's favor.
The most Umbridge gets out of even Neville is that he's harsh and criticizes everyone for the smallest mistake, but that it's a reasonable expectation given the detail that he's teaching them to brew Potions that could explode, melt cauldrons and flesh and bone with equal ease, and outright kill the entire class with a single mistake.
She leaves in a huff, and Snape seems utterly amazed at the way his class defended him - he's not well-liked amongst the students, but that's because…well, because he's harsh and criticizes everyone for the smallest mistake. But, as Bloom Potter herself pointed out during Umbridge's questioning, he's teaching eleven-to-seventeen-year-olds how to brew potions that could kill the entire class at the slightest mistake. And, to his credit - and exhaustion - he's never lost even a single student - there've been accidents, yes, but never any fatal ones in the near decade and a half since he's started working here as the Potions Professor. He's immensely proud of it, even if he can't brag about it to anyone.
And then his amazed moment is broken when one student sputters a laugh - and then the whole class is roaring in laughter, just imagining what the horrible lady will do when she next looks in the mirror. As her appearance was slowly changing without her realizing it - to be fair, it started at her shoes and spread upwards from there.
When everyone gets to lunch, they're all amazed to realize Umbridge still hasn't noticed her new appearance - Bloom wandlessly cast the Boggart-repelling Charm on her in Potions class. The thing about that Charm is…all it does is change the Boggart's appearance in some way. Its used to evoke laughter from the intended victim of the Boggart attack, so it changes the Boggart's appearance into the most ridiculous thing the caster can imagine.
Bloom, apparently, thought Umbridge in a clown suit and makeup was hilarious. Her hair is bright orange like she dyed it that color in an attempt to match Bloom's hair and failed - its also frizzy as all hell, and twisted up on either side of her head like someone's pulling it that way and won't let go. Her face is done in traditional clown makeup, with the red lips and the white skin. Her Pink cardigan has turned a hideous combination of neon yellow and lime green stripes, with poufy sleeves and legs. And her shoes have turned a rather ugly shade of purple with electric blue polka dots and have grown half as long again as they already were.
When Fred and George see her, they get matching looks of awe and amazement before looking at their plates to avoid detection.
Ron whispers "I can't believe she hasn't noticed yet!"
Fred asks "You know what"
"happened to her?"
"It wasn't one"
"of our new sweets."
"They turn people into animals,"
"not…that. Whoever did that,"
"and didn't get caught in the process"
"is an absolute master that we must meet."
Bloom smirks, and says "Who knows, maybe it was Peeves." Her tone of voice is full of satisfaction, though. It screams 'I did it!' Colin Creevy discretely snaps a few photos with his camera, which he magically shrunk and modified for just such an occasion, and then goes to his food with a will.
The pregnant atmosphere is soundly broken by a glass-shattering screech of fury from the teacher's table - seems someone finally pointed out Umbridge's current appearance to her. 'Someone' turns out to be Filch, to everyone's nonsurprise - the man's always been rather bitter and cruel, and he and Umbridge have been seen talking together a number of times.
Currently, she's holding a mirror in her hands and angling it this way and that to see more of her appearance - and from her growing expression of horror…she doesn't like what she sees at all. Unfortunately for her, she's got no idea who did it to her - could've been a student, could've been a teacher, could've been Peeves for all she knows.
It doesn't stop her from trying to lay the blame on Bloom. Trying and failing, that is. While the girl is trying very hard not to burst out in laughter, there's no indication that she's the one that did this to her - and it couldn't have been in Potions class, she didn't have her wand out in Potions class.
Over the course of the week, it becomes crystal clear that Bloom has declared war on Dolores Jane Umbridge - when Umbridge asked Trelawney for a prophecy, even a tiny one, Bloom said "Here's one for you, Professor. Your going to get very wet when you leave the classroom." That proves accurate when Umbridge opens the door to leave and Peeves bombards her with water balloons. And then it seems every single ghost ends up in her path - Umbridge is freezing by the time she gets back to her office.
And in Transfiguration, Umbridge deliberately dropped her clipboard on Bloom's desk, spooking Hedwig…right as Bloom was doing the spell they were attempting. So, instead of Transfiguring Hedwig into a pair of Opera Glasses…Umbridge gets turned into a pair of Opera Glasses.
A few kids whimper at the sight of Bloom's power - yet again - a few crow in delight, and even McGonagall can't keep her lips from twisting upwards as she awards Gryffindor fifty points for 'Transfiguration of an incredibly difficult subject' - or, for getting Umbridge out of McGonagall's hair for a bit, the woman grates on everyone's nerves.
Sirius rips open the letter from Bloom, Remus peering over his shoulder eagerly even as he dutifully feeds Hedwig a few pieces of bacon - and how Bloom's beloved owl is so fond of bacon when Bloom herself is so averse to the stuff is a miracle neither of them can explain - and they both start laughing when the picture of Umbridge falls out of the letter. Even more so when they hear how Bloom pranked Umbridge with the Boggart spell.
Both Marauders are incredibly proud of Bloom at this exact moment. It would seem Fudge greatly underestimated Bloom's popularity at Hogwarts - as the Girl-Who-Lived, the one that they've all seen dealing with problems that crop up every year, a star Seeker on the Quidditch team, and just as Bloom. When you get to know her, she's quite the likable person…if you can get past her armor, that is.
The little detail that almost everyone hates Umbridge certainly helps, though. According to her letter, she's even gotten Peeves in on making life miserable for the horrid toad of a woman - and he's agreed. Everything from offering his name to offering his help setting up pranks…like one that involves the Weasley Twins' fireworks.
A lot of fireworks.
Hedwig hoots happily, nipping at Sirius' fingertips the way she nips Bloom's ears to comfort her, and waits patiently while Sirius writes up a reply. Of course, she's also getting petted by Remus as he reads over Bloom's letter for him - her N.E.W.T. credit-substitutes are going well, as are her regular classes. Remus still can't believe Snape agreed to a plan like this…from a Gryffindor. He's not afraid - ashamed, now, yes, but not afraid - to admit the four of them were rather ruthless at times to Severus as immature children, which is one of the reasons he dislikes Gryffindors so much. So, the detail that he's going along with a plan this ambitious from a Gryffindor, even one that was only Sorted there because of an impatient remark after twenty minutes of sitting there without even a single House being ruled out…its incredible.
Bloom must've impressed the snarky Potions professor quite a bit over the past four years.
McGonagall and Flitwick are less of a surprise, as is the detail that he's been volunteered as the Professor that is going to sign off on her Defense credit - students don't even get to take the tests unless they have a teacher's signature saying they're qualified, which is how Bloom even came up with this idea in the first place.
She's not going for very many N.E.W.T.'s, but she also doesn't need a lot of the ones that are offered - for instance, Herbology is practically useless to her since all she has to do is burn or blow up any dangerous plant she comes across to get out of danger. So there's no reason for her to take that N.E.W.T. She got interested in Runes after helping Hermione with her homework in year three, but they quickly decided that Bloom would take Magical Creatures and Divination while Hermione would take Arithmancy and Runes so they could compare notes - but Bloom doesn't have an advanced enough knowledge about Runes to take the N.E.W.T. for the class.
Plus, she wants to experiment with combining the Magix-equivalent with Wizarding Earth's Ancient Runes.
So, Bloom's N.E.W.T.s have ended up being Charms, Defense, Transfiguration, Potions, and Divination - because she asked Trelawney, and the woman said her N.E.W.T. ends up being accurately predicting the future. Or a prophecy, apparently a prophecy would get top marks.
AN: Hey, everyone! I know I said I'd post chapters for my other stories...but then my mom had knee surgery for a torn Meniscus. For everyone with only basic knowledge of human anatomy, the Meniscus isn't something you want to tear - it won't heal on its own, since there's no bloodflow to it. So I've been helping mom for the past few days since she's got one heck of a limp and her one leg is almost twice as big as the other. No, I'm really not joking or making excuses. Yeah, its been a long week or so. Even my dogs are exhausted.
On the bright side, my face is all better! Yay, right? All that's left is for my gums to heal over the four new holes where I had teeth. Feels weird, but I'm apparently doing great.
As to the story - yes! InkCatWarrior guessed it! Umbridge tries to throw her weight around by making herself High Inquisitor! As you can tell...it hasn't really gone to plan - I can only imagine I nearly got a bunch of Firsties in trouble trying to hold in hysterical laughter at the sight of that woman after Bloom was through with her.
Anyway, enjoy! More chapters coming soon - for real this time! Please review!