Opposing Forces

by SoundofInsurrection

Semi-AU. Free of Hellsing control, Alucard leaves Seras & Walter in England to see to a potential threat in USA. What seems like an easy mission quickly gets complicated by unknown motives of Iscariot and the local vampire hierarchy. The Vampire King must reevaluate his plans as the lives and fates of two innocent humans caught in the crossfire fall to him to save or let perish.

46. Chapter 46 Restoring Balance

Chapter 46

Restoring Balance

It wasn't until an icy hand gently cupped her face, a hand that would be chilling to even a 'living' vampire, and a pair of equally cold lips brushed hers with a feather-light caress that Mercedes stopped singing and allowed her concentration to be broken. She let out a sob of relief and wrapped her available arm around Tukiko's neck, returning the chaste kiss. It was bittersweet and gentle; caresses fragile to avoid the human priestess becoming overexposed to the supernatural frigidness of the spirit's form, filled with longing and a mutual attempt at solace.

When the kiss ended, Mercedes whispered against his lips, "Thank you, Tukiko san, for coming back," and then finally opened her eyes to look at the spirit she had summoned.

Tukiko was corporeal enough to see and touch, to fill out the clothes she had laid out for him as though he had a true body, her runes glowing brightly at where his chakras were and helping to maintain this form. The form was still semi-translucent and ethereal enough that she could see the forest behind him, though, and he was as cold as Niflheim itself was said to be.

She couldn't truly bring him back to her; just give a brief semblance of existence as she kept his spirit tethered to this middle ground she had summoned him to for as long as her energy could hold out.

It was enough. He might only be semi-corporeal and as cold as ice, but those were the same hellfire-filled eyes of the same man she knew and trusted.

Tukiko was looking at her with a pensive expression, a small wistful smile tugging at his thin lips as he continued to gently stroke the side of her face and then moved to her hair.

"A humble creature such as myself would be terribly foolish to ignore the call of a radiant creature such as yourself." The vampire's deep voice sounded as it always had as he teased her, but it echoed unnaturally as the ethereal being concentrated on making the noises manifest properly.

Mercedes couldn't help but give a small, almost broken-sounding, laugh at his answer. Tears were still falling and she closed her eyes, trying to stem the flow. She felt Tukiko's lips brush against her eyes and his arms wrap around her shaking shoulders to give her support and a sense of protection. The all too familiar gestures had the opposite effect hoped for, the tears now flowing as the dam on her emotions broke and she sobbed against the specter of her dead mentor and lover.

"What's happened now, my dear miko?" Tukiko's voice was a lower volume now, nearly a whisper, as he placed his forehead to hers in a gesture of comfort. "You don't look older than when last you summoned me, and this journey was more difficult than before so I know I've not had so much time to regenerate, yet enough time has passed for you to get yourself injured and your aura radiates with even greater misery than last time. And just what have you done that your teeth look akin to those of a vampire?"

"So much is wrong now, Tukiko san," Mercedes said between sobs. "It feels like everything is falling apart."

"It may feel that way, but it is not in actuality, as you can't say it so definitively," Tukiko said knowingly, shifting so his cheek lay on top of her hat-covered head and she'd be more protected from the chill he radiated, and his gaze trained onto the barrier around them.

"It's close enough that it almost ceases to matter," Mercedes said. "Everything has spiraled so far beyond my control, so quickly, and I am so afraid that I won't be able to recover from this."

"You're alive, which means there's a chance to make things right," Tukiko said as he gently pulled Mercedes's arm from around his neck. She noticed then that her hand was getting needle-prick sensations and tucked her hand under her other arm to warm it as Tukiko continued speaking. "Xander is alive, so you haven't lost everything."

"But that's just it, Tukiko san. I wasn't strong enough. I came very close last week to joining you and Fumiko in the underworld. If it wasn't for the intervention of another, I would have, and Xander would have as well."

"Is he alright?" Tukiko asked, voice now a shade concerned.

"He is uninjured, yes. But I nearly failed in keeping him safe. I would have failed on my own. And I don't know if I can keep either of us safe now."

"What exactly has taken place and who injured you, dear one?" Tukiko asked, shifting to look her in the eyes. "Was it Liam? Or was it the entity prowling just beyond your barrier?"

"What?" Mercedes glanced over to the area of the barrier Tukiko nodded to. She extended her senses and could just barely sense the energy in question. She hung her head with a frustrated growl. "Gods damnit! Can't he let me do anything important without meddling somehow?!"

Tukiko's hellfire gaze remained on the barrier. "Mercedes, who is that on the other side? I feel as though I know him, should know him, but I know I have never met him."

"That would be the one and only Alucard, likely come to find out what I'm doing that was so important to leave bed rest for," Mercedes said bitterly.

Tukiko's gaze flashed to Mercedes in shock. "Alucard?!" To her unhappy nod, he asked, "What are you doing in the company of the progenitor? Are the changes in you somehow his doing?"

Mercedes shook her head, shrugged, and then admitted hesitantly, "It's complicated? The teeth are his accidental doing, as is the fact that my eyes are retaining a golden hue even when I'm not actively summoning dark energy, but supposedly it's temporary; and apparently even before what he did, I was doing this to myself. Alucard thinks I'm tapping into some sort of demonic nature and it's starting to affect me. Especially if I have to summon large amounts of dark magic for a sustained time like I did when trying to keep Iscariot from killing us."

Tukiko stared at her, absorbing that information. "If I'm to give any counsel that would be of help, my dear miko, I think you need start at the beginning."

Mercedes gave another small, borderline-hysterical, laugh. "I suppose that would help, wouldn't it?"

Tukiko nodded and gave a passing kiss to her forehead. "Let me see what's happened, dear one. It will be easier for you, I think, and save us time so I can hopefully have time enough to be of some help."

Mercedes nodded acceptance to the idea and released the barriers on her mind, allowing the vampiric mystic open access to scan everything he needed. She felt his presence sweep into her mind, his energy like a serene river as a contrast to her tumultuous emotions and thoughts. She could sense, though, that beneath his disciplined calm, he was worried for her sake. She felt regret for disrupting his afterlife, whatever it entailed, with her troubles.

"Never regret holding me to my promise to aid you as I can," Tukiko murmured, giving another fleeting kiss to her forehead and still reading events in her mind. "I only wish I could aid in a more significant way, but I have faith that you're strong enough to survive even without it… Especially if you have allies such as I'm seeing in your mind."

"They're not you and Fumiko," Mercedes said, tears starting to form again and she wrapped her uninjured arm around his waist to hug him.

Tukiko tightened his hold on her a fraction in response. "No, they're not. However, I told you once before, even though we came to love one another in what ways we do, I can feel your soul is not mine to claim and I could sense I'd need let you go to the care of others someday. And you knew that as well, dear one. As much as it pains me to admit it, despite that I've accepted it, it's not Fumiko and I that you need at your side through this stage of your life. We were only meant to have each other for the short time we did. The gods provide us with the appropriate companions for our journey as we need them or they need us, and they've sent you far more effective guardians than I could be to you."

"Don't talk like that, Tukiko san," Mercedes demanded with dread forming. "It almost sounds as though you're saying goodbye and good luck, instead of helping me figure out what I need to do to survive this mess with Iscariot."

"I think you already know what you need to do, my dear miko," Tukiko said gently, easing out of her mind. "When you were in the blackness of the realm between life and death and fighting to return to life, it wasn't myself that your mind connected to and helped pull you back to your body."

"What are you talking about?! How do you know that?" Mercedes protested. "Are you basing that on what Alucard said, because I have no idea what actually happened when I flat-lined!"

Tukiko shook his head with a small smile. "It doesn't matter if you don't consciously remember it. It's buried in there, even if you can't find the memory yet. And I am telling you now, Alucard wasn't lying. He actually seems to be reserved in explaining to not strain your emotional state more than necessary. It wasn't myself, Fumiko, Liam, or any other you trusted before this incident started, but the ally who stepped up in our places to protect you that again helped you find your way back to life."

Mercedes shook her head in denial to that fact, not wanting to remember it even if it tried to come back because she had this feeling that it was too terrifying to remember, though she couldn't voice her objection because that part of her mind knew he was right.

Tukiko nodded once, and said solemnly, "Yes, dear one. You know better than most how difficult it is to reach into any layer of the ether, find a singular soul, and guide it to consciousness; how strong both of the souls and their connection to one another must be to have any chance of success. You don't remember it, not yet, but it was he that brought you back to this realm. As much as it scares you, part of you instinctively knows the probability of your survival is greatest so long as the progenitor is watching over you, and trusts him to do so. Even Draculea couldn't have reached you and drawn you back from the brink if you didn't trust him on a deep enough level to make that connection; if he didn't know your very essence well enough to seek it out and draw it in, even with your ward forcing him to protect you."

Mercedes shook her head ambivalently and murmured, "Maybe... I honestly don't know. Everything is all confused and mixed up in my head right now."

"That's understandable, from the speed in which recent events have happened. And it looks as though there's more challenging times to come before peace is restored to you. While I know that this may very well be the last opportunity you have for some time to summon me with you needing to leave this country, and am loathe to lose any time to visit with you..."

"I don't want to leave, Tukiko san!" Mercedes interrupted, grip tightening on the specter. "It's not fair! And I don't want to be so far from you that I can't summon you when I need you! Please don't say what I think you're going to say! I can't lose you too. I can't …"

"Enough of that," Tukiko interrupted firmly, though not unkindly. "I taught you better than that, Mercedes. You've had the fortune that most will never have, in that you can summon me to you; and I will continue to answer your call if you make it because I wish to watch over you for as long as you need me to. Eventually, though, you need to release your pain and allow yourself to truly move on. As long as you keep us in your heart, we will always be with you, and someday, if and when the time is appropriate, we will properly see you again. Until then, you need to place your attention on not just surviving those years, but also truly living your life, regardless of how many times you are hurt in the process."

"But how? How am I supposed to even survive, Tukiko san?" Mercedes asked desperately. "I've lost you and Fumiko. Even if some part of me still loves Liam, he turned out not to be the man I thought he was and I can't trust him or his judgment! Brian tried to have me murdered for his own greed. And even with him dead, Iscariot is hunting us down for a reason I still don't fully understand and it's been proven I can't protect Xander and I from them. And to top it all off, as you well know, Alucard went and sprung my ward. Even if I trust he'll keep me safe from mutual enemies, I'm still bound together with a raging, homicidal, 15th century daimon who seems to think I'm completely incompetent because there were so many things I failed to realize, and he has the power to make my life miserable. That's hardly the gods sending me a guardian to replace you. That was him being hungry after having to rescue me so he could foil Iscariot's plot, and then things spiraling out of control.

"Not to mention, as you also noticed, I've got fangs and my eyes are staying golden! I have no idea what's happening to me except what Alucard theorizes. According to him, my choices are to either stop using magic and let myself be practically defenseless and possibly get Xander and I killed, and now likely Val too, or I continue fighting as I can and possibly turning myself into only the gods know what kind of daimon!"

"And why is that latter thought scaring you so much, my dear miko?" Tukiko asked archly with a raised eyebrow. "You've had many years of learning truths outside your Catholic upbringing. You know an entity being a daimon doesn't equate to them being an unrelenting force of Evil and Destruction. Youkai are sentient forces of nature, with the capability to swing either way on those axes. There was once a time when you would have gladly joined Fumiko and I in our undead existence if it had been possible for me to turn you. So why are you so scared now?"

"That was different!" Mercedes said with frustration. "I didn't have Xander to worry about back then! And vampires are a known quantity. I at least understand what you are, the pros and cons! If Alucard is right, I have no idea what sort of blood is running through my veins, what I could turn myself into! Hopefully it'd be something akin to vampires, but I could end up something gruesome straight out of myths. Some weird animal-beast-demon-thing that doesn't even resemble a human anymore and just wants to rampage and pillage." The young woman realized as she finished her rant that her hand was aching again, and when she pulled it back to her chest, she saw that the skin was an angry red color. She quickly tucked it back under her other arm for another warm up.

Despite the seer's stated concerns, a deep echoed laugh briefly rumbled out from Tukiko in response to her words. "I strongly doubt that, even with drawing on dark forces as you so frequently do, you'll transform into 'some weird animal-beast-demon-thing'. That's not how such things work and you should know better. Beings evolve over time, for better or worse becoming further and further from their progenitors. Whatever might be in your veins, I truly don't believe there's ever been a bloodline dark enough that it could corrupt your radiant soul."

"I don't feel the least radiant," Mercedes said dispiritedly.

"That is only because you are weary from your recent troubles," Tukiko said assuredly. "It doesn't change the fact that you are a truly radiant soul. And I have never said the gods did things in an easily understood manner, but I believe they are always at work and are to some extent behind your path crossing the progenitor's. That doesn't mean they're responsible for every action you both chose to make after meeting."

"Me trying to avoid getting raped and murdered by people Brian had hired is why I met Alucard," Mercedes said pointedly. "Again, not the work of the gods."

Tukiko chuckled again, shaking his head. "You may be one of their chosen and wise for your years as an old soul, Mercedes, but even you can't see the entirety of the divine's plans and sometimes your conscious perception clouds your soul's." He lightly held her face between his icy ethereal hands and gave her a fleeting, chaste kiss to the lips. He met her gaze and said, "Have faith in the gods, Mercedes, have a little more faith in those who could be your allies, and most of all, have faith in yourself. The future will unfold as it's meant to and you will continue to change as you are meant to. Despite your current fears and behavior, you're not the same lost young woman I first met. You've grown into a strong and capable miko. You have survived more than most could fathom, and you've done it without dishonoring yourself.

"Even the strongest of souls can be hurt and lose confidence, especially when they've been betrayed. When events seem hopeless, it is natural to forget that there is always some hope still alive. Finding Fumiko was a restoration of faith and hope for me, and having you and Xander was another. Those last few years were the happiest I had known in either my mortal or immortal life. I knew eventually our time would come to an end. Even a vampire can't live forever. Even though I fought to keep existing in the living world when Iscariot came for us because I wanted us to live a bit longer with our family; I had no true regrets when I died because I knew you and Xander were kept safely away from what happened, that I had done all I could to give you all the tools you'd need to survive in this life, and that you both would live out your lives with our memories carried in your hearts.

"And as much as our deaths hurt you, you survived them. I know you feel guilt over us dying, but you need to eventually accept that we all did the best we could. You can't keep blaming yourself because Cosmic Law finally caught up to Fumiko and I and our physical lives were brought to the end we should have met long ago. You survived our deaths as you were meant to, and you'll survive even these events so long as you remain steadfast in what you know to be the truth of life and remember that it's alright to allow others to share your burdens if they are willing and prove worthy. Eventually, this dark time will pass and you'll have a time of light return to you. I can't tell you precisely when that will be, but eventually it will come back to you. You must keep hold of that faith."

Mercedes reached up with the hand she could and wrapped it around one of Tukiko's as he pulled his hands from her face, ignoring the almost burning sensation along her palm as it protested being directly exposed yet again to such cold. She didn't care about the pain just then; she wasn't ready to let him slip away so quickly. "I don't know how you have so much faith in me, Tukiko san, even with all my mistakes, but I'm grateful you've never given up on me and refuse to let me give up on myself. And I know you think I'm strong enough to survive without you, but I've needed you so much through all this."

Tukiko gave a small smile and gently kissed her forehead. "I have faith in you because I know you, dear one, and I will always be with you in one form or other. Despite what your fears tell you, deep down you know you are strong enough to survive without my physical presence because you've managed to this long. And even if it scares you to consider it because he's a more complicated being than most, I believe the progenitor may very well be able to guide you in ways I can't, as he has insights into certain truths by virtue of having life experiences I do not, that even my studies can't compensate for. Even if there's been some painful experiences that make you feel otherwise, I can't be the only person you'll ever truly trust, and there's worthy entities willing to take up the mantle if you'll let them. You just need to bear through some errors in communication because there is a difference in origins and influences, but you're both wise enough to bridge that and find compromises to keep an alliance stable. So wish me farewell for now, and let down that barrier so you can save your energy for when you truly need it in the days to come.

Mercedes's grip on his hand tightened, tears falling as she shook her head with frustration to his words. "Gods preserve me... Even if you're right, Tukiko san, I'm still feeling too off balanced to try coming to any compromises or understandings with others. I don't want to say farewell yet, and I don't want to face him and whatever else he has to say right now. Please, don't make me."

"And how can I make you do anything, dear one?" Tukiko asked archly, teasing smirk pulling at his lips "We both know you are the miko and I am but a youkai, and my presence here is solely in your control because I answered your call."

Mercedes gave the vampiric spirit a perfunctory glare because they both knew she would obey his wishes and judgment if he continued to insist that she send him back.

Tukiko smirked and nudged his nose to hers as he said, "What I can do is tell you that I know you have the strength to let me go for now and move forward. I can also tell you that I know that with all you have to face, you will need your energy, so it would be unwise to allow yourself to expend so much on what little passing comfort I can give you. But I can't make you say farewell, Mercedes." The spirit leaned down and placed another brief kiss to the priestess's lips. He whispered reassuringly, "You already know in your heart what the best course to proceed on is; just as you knew who to place your trust in for survival after your vision. The biggest mistakes you've made have come about when you ignored your senses and allowed unworthy outside influences to cloud your judgment. We all make mistakes, though, my dear miko, and you can't live in fear of making more. If you have faith in your intuition as you continue your journey, continue to act and fight with courage and honor, extend your faith to those who would aid you, and make amends when you make mistakes, I know that you will choose the wisest of options available to you and be ultimately successful, even if that success doesn't take the form you anticipated."

"So your advice boils down to the same as it always is," Mercedes said in a weak attempt at levity. "Make peace with my inner self, retain my honor, remember family is my true strength and legacy, and try to accept that balance must be kept, though I may wish for the darkness and pain in my life to end."

Tukiko laughed briefly and then said with teasing smile remaining, "Very good, dear one. Those lessons apply to life in many ways, and sometimes it's hard to see, but try. If you keep what I've taught you in mind, look to see how it can be applied in even the most straining of circumstances, you'll have all the guidance you need as each new situation arrives."

Mercedes leaned forward and gave Tukiko a brief kiss. "Thank you, Tukiko san. I will try to remember your lessons."

"You've done well so far, dear one," he said, then gave her a longer kiss.

Mercedes returned the kiss, and she could feel that this was their goodbye. So she allowed her emotions to be expressed with the kiss for as long as she could stand exposing herself to the direct and icy contact with the spirit, then pulled away and leaned her head on Tukiko's chest. Tears welling up again, she released his hand as she said shakily, warm breath coming out as foggy mist from the temperature difference in her mouth and immediate area, "I love you, Tukiko."

Tukiko placed a kiss to the top of her head and whispered, his voice now laced with a hint of the sorrow and concern he felt yet kept mostly hidden, "And I love you, Mercedes."

Mercedes's energy reached out and came in contact with the runes at Tukiko's chakra points. Her energy wrapped around each rune and, with a simultaneous pull on each, took back the energy she had leant, severing his connection to this realm.

Like a magician's disappearing body under a sheet trick, Tukiko's form disappeared from her side as his soul was sucked back to the realm it rightfully belonged in, his clothing and sword collapsing to the ground, with Mercedes falling over the empty space in exhaustion.

Mercedes groaned in pain as the impact with the frost-crusted ground jarred her injuries, which now likely included minor frostbite to her forehead, cheeks and lips, and her hand would certainly need seeing to… but for now she clutched at the lifeless, ice-covered shirt as sorrow that Tukiko was gone, in a way that always felt like she was murdering him all over again whenever she sent him back, welled up and found release in tears that steadily progressed to heaving sobs.

Though Tukiko had told her to save her energy, though Alucard had warned her about the dangers of summoning up so much dark magic for a prolonged period of time, she kept the blazing barrier between herself and the progenitor of vampires. It had taken a great deal of her magic to summon Tukiko to her, to defy the natural order for even a brief time and bring him back from the afterlife without him being truly reborn, even with all her careful proceedings and Cerberus's aid, but she had accomplished it, and she had some measure of magical reserves left still because she hadn't kept the spirit in the middle ground as long as she usually did.

Seeing Tukiko again and being able to speak with him had helped in some ways, but it hurt her worse in others because she knew it could be the last time she'd speak with him in this life. She couldn't seem to stem her tears for more than a minute or so and she couldn't stand the thought of dealing with the imperious vampire waiting for her. Not with as brittle as her emotions were right now and how harshly he was sure to react if he spotted signs of her weakness… Never mind the awaiting retribution for freezing him and going against his warning about using her magic.

No, she was going to have her cry in peace; if he hadn't followed her out here, she wouldn't have had to extend her energy further to have some privacy. And if he hadn't caused so much excess chaos and destruction in her life, perhaps she would have been able to hold out and not need to summon Tukiko back for support. If something happened before she could replenish her energy, the gods-damned, high and mighty Vampire King could handle it himself. And if she had a further shift to some sort of daimonic nature from channeling too much dark magic too soon, she'd deal with it later. Tukiko didn't seem worried about her state of being, so she would accept his assurance for the time being. Right now, she just needed to get all these tears and the sorrow they represented out so she could be done with crying and try to move on like she needed to.

Tukiko might have been right in that, deep down, she knew a general idea of what was probably best to do, which was primarily to follow Alucard's lead because he had far more experience with dealing with the enemies they mutually had. And perhaps some part of her did trust Alucard to protect her during the course of their alliance... but she didn't like all the unknowns involved and having to rely on the goodwill of a tempestuous ally she could hardly make heads or tails of. She loathed feeling so helpless and having so many of her failings so unmistakably placed before her.

Even though Tukiko still had faith in her, he wasn't the one by her side, the one she had to work with and rely on. And she resented that fact more than almost anything else. Things had been so much simpler and happier before his and Fumiko's deaths. She didn't care if it wasn't some blazing, seemingly soul-melding romance she had had with Tukiko, like those she saw depicted in movies or books. She had thought she found that with Liam. While she still loved him, those sort of all-consuming emotions had blinded her to the very real problems with their relationship and landed her in the mess she was in with him and the Elders. Even though some part of her wanted to go back to Liam because of the good times they had had, an even larger part of her knew that she couldn't go through it again without destroying herself. Whatever promises he made, it wasn't in Liam's nature to be satisfied with compromises. He always asked for more, and she couldn't give him what he really wanted.

Tukiko had at least been steadfast and a beacon of solace; her friend and her guide. He and Fumiko had restored her faith in herself and in people when she was nearly crippled emotionally and physically. Understanding one another had never been hard, and there had been contentment in letting each other be as they were while still sharing that time together. She wanted that back, she wanted them back, and she knew it would never happen. Not in this life. She had thought she had made peace with that fact; that she could move on and be content with the hope she'd someday be with them in the afterlife. In reality, she had only buried the pain and refused to acknowledge just how deeply their loss was still tearing at her heart, and it was becoming more and more obvious as Iscariot once again rose up to try destroying more parts of her life.

She almost felt as though she was cursed to lose everything she cared about, and those she didn't have torn away from her would simply turn out to be those who would betray her. There didn't seem to be an option where she wouldn't get hurt eventually. And she was so very, very tired of hurting. She was tired of trying to pretend like everything was under control. She wanted things to actually be alright, and was afraid they'd never be again.

Mercedes wasn't sure how long she had been crying for, but at some point she noticed that her energy was starting to struggle to keep the barrier erected. And she could sense Alucard was still waiting for her on the other side. Even still, she just couldn't stop crying. She had managed to keep herself from breaking down after Liam blindsided her last week, and had managed to pull herself together after the vision of Iscariot's attack earlier that week. And any other time something happened in the last four and a half years, she either didn't cry, or, like during her mother's funeral, managed to dry up the waterworks within ten minutes or so.

But she couldn't do it again. There didn't seem to be an ending to these tears, and the sorrow and hollowness she felt wasn't abating.

The fact that there was a pissed Vampire King just on the other side of her barrier only made things worse because, at this moment, he seemed to epitomize every single thing that had gone so horribly wrong in her life and how extremely lost she felt she had become. She didn't believe Alucard was evil, and fine, yes, some part of her even trusted him, but he sure as hell wasn't a kind and hope-inspiring being. Every time she thought he might be showing some sign of humanity or relatability, thought she might have figured out at least some of the complex rules for dealing with him, he delivered new blows that seemed to prove her wrong. He was brutally keen, calculating, murderous and did whatever he wanted without any seeming regard for the opinions of others… And the fact that he was the only thing standing between her and her son and their imminent deaths was absolutely terrifying to the point of nearly shattering her beyond repair.

So Mercedes forced more magic at the barrier and continued to let out what felt like a solid four years' worth of repressed emotions that had been magnified incalculably by the recent firestorm she had been through. The priestess cried, and she prayed that when the tears eventually stopped, she'd be left empty of these debilitating emotions. She prayed she'd have the strength to face whatever the future held without faltering, that she'd be able to handle Alucard's wild mood swings. She prayed she'd prove worthy of Tukiko's faith in her, worthy of the innate faith her son had that his mommy always came up with the right answers and always knew how to help. She knew that she couldn't be perfect, no one could, but she prayed she could at least be good enough to protect him from the worst of life. She needed to keep Xander safe; she couldn't let him be the final victim of her failings. He deserved that much from her.

But how she'd accomplish that, she couldn't fathom. She seemed to be being herded along some path she couldn't see, never mind understand, and she hated that feeling. The feeling of helplessness, of being without choices, of some outside force having control over her. Of being powerless, despite everything she had tried to do to grow stronger. She had been too weak alone...

Flashes of memories began flicking through her mind again, driving out her attempts to drum up some sense of confidence and purpose. Memories of the Iscariot attack; of the terrifying, adrenaline-inducing encounter with the walking-nightmare that was Paladin Anderson; of her life being a single strike of a blade from ending.

No, her alliance with Alucard only represented how powerless she was, how desperately she needed help.

Anderson. Anderson was the true embodiment of everything that sought to ruin her life, to destroy her existence. Her doubts and fears for the future echoed louder behind each flash of memory, causing her sobs to become near hyperventilating and wracking over her injured frame in increasing bouts of pain.

How was she supposed to face him again if it came down to that?! Even Alucard hadn't been able to stop him permanently. Even working with the Vampire King, eventually Anderson might catch her alone again. Nothing she had tried had worked, he had just kept coming, and now he knew the full extent of what she could do. Next time, he'd be prepared to finish the job. Even giving it everything she had, it felt like she had only accomplished prolonging the inevitable.

If Alucard wasn't there again, she was going to die, and then Xander would. And even if there was a part of her that wanted to be with Tukiko and Fumiko again, there was this haunted feeling in the back of her mind that terrified her, that made her feel like she might not be granted even that comfort if she died. She had no idea what precisely had happened when she flat-lined and her soul left her body, but Tukiko had confirmed she hadn't automatically joined him. She had been somewhere else, and she didn't know if it was possible to go from there to wherever Tukiko and Fumiko were, and she was terrified Anderson was going to send her back there to permanently face whatever it was. With a great deal of pain in the process.

She hadn't realized how much being stabbed and breaking bones would hurt. The recovery from her burns had been painful, especially when Tukiko san's hypnosis treatments to help her not feel the burns would start wearing off; but the initial pain of injury had been fleeting once Brian's fires seared the nerves away, and once she regained her concentration it had only taken summoning Cerberus to drive him off. There had been no such reprieve from Anderson's injuries. Every fucking cut and stab, every broken bone, had just increased in pain as she had fought to survive, and the bastard had just kept coming, her hounds hadn't been able to run him off.

Mercedes' partially frost-bitten hand clawed at the ground, nails digging into the dirt, as her mind relentlessly flashed through more memories of her encounter with Anderson. The paladin temporarily eviscerating Hades, surviving the knives she had first flung at him to repel him, and slicing her arm open with a return throw of one of them...

The images came faster in her mind, disjointed and missing connecting moments. A flash of Cerberus nearly being beheaded. Trying to impale the priest's heart with her enchanted katana and then she was suddenly on the ground. The sight of his massive hand swinging to backhand her and send her crashing into the wall. His bayonet swinging down and trying to deflect it with her wrist daggers…

Nails began to bend back as her fingers dug deeper into the ground, seeing Anderson, with the manic gleam of a zealot reflecting in his eyes, raising one of those blades of his to pierce her throat, but instead slicing straight through Athene. His hand poised to rip out her heart and permanently destroying the beloved hound, who had been so desperate to protect her mistress...

Unseen by the seer, the flames surrounding the magic circle began to lose their intensity as her waning magic became a shadow of its former strength. Even an empath's emotions and whatever possible strain of demonic blood might be in her veins, Alucard's or something ancestral, could only bolster her magic just so much. But she didn't notice, because all she could see was the image of Hades going absolutely berserk with the loss of his mate; and the need to send him back into the ether or risk losing him as well. A flash of Anderson coming around the corner from the kitchen. One of her hairsticks jabbed into his neck and a small spurting of blood as he yanked it out. Memory of great weakness, like she felt now, as she struggled to keep her katana raised against him...

Even as her breathing became ragged, the memories kept flashing for her to see. The seer couldn't break out of them, her own initial intent of trying to face her fears had trapped her in the cycle. She was forced to keep watching, and the fear wasn't abating, it was too strong, it was only digging deeper roots.

Anderson looming in front of her, one of her own blades already impaling her arm and him charging to cut her down. Alucard appearing in a mass of shadows, back to her, like some dark angel rising up to smite his foes in furious vengeance.

She watched in the grip of terror as the rampaging vampire and paladin destroyed what was left of her living room wall as she collapsed on her son's bed, creeping closer to death as her blood continued flowing from wounds she was too exhausted to try binding. The blood pooling onto her son's comforter, down it, dripping onto the floor. She had thought, in that moment, that she'd soon slip into the Underworld to face final judgment, and prayed Alucard would keep his word and deliver Xander to safety…

Seras and Walter appearing next to her. Pain, jolts of pain forcing her mind back from the brink as the male vampire bound her injuries. Alucard returning, all furious energy and hellfire eyes as he tried to keep her conscious. The last thing she saw as she slipped off being those hellfire eyes.

A much vaguer fragment of memory. Absolute nothingness. No sense of direction, time, or space. No temperature, colors, mundane senses or magical. No true thoughts or emotions. No Tukiko or hounds. This wasn't that void. This was truly nothing. She was truly nothing. Nothing except a fuzzy memory of having been something, but unable to grasp what that something entailed.

Then eyes were before her. Green eyes. Not Liam's mercurial foxfire green, or Anderson's manic absinthe green. Raging dark green eyes that had flecks of brown and lighter green in them. And fangs. Long fangs bared wide to tear into something. To tear at the nothingness. This sense of standing on a precipice, with that unfathomable oblivion to one side, and something else to the other. Something that wasn't oblivion.

A hand, as unnoticed as the being it was attached to, came to rest on Mercedes' shoulder.

"Mercedes! Mercedes, snap out of it!" A shake on her shoulder, his sharp voice reverberating in her ears. Telepathy joined the next words, trying to pierce through her entranced mind when he realized she was barely breathing. "Damnit, draga mea! Break out of this trance, Mercedes! You're not slipping back! Snap out of it, draga mea!"

The final mental shout of "draga mea" reached her. She jerked out of the trance with a strangled gasp that immediately became a horrified scream, not realizing where she was. She saw a familiar hilt before her, though, and her spasming hand darted reflexively for Tukiko's sword to turn it against whatever denizen wanted to drag her back to that void.

Before her hand could make it halfway there, the seer found herself flipped onto her back, hand pinned to the ground by her head. She was staring up into the hellfire gaze of the progenitor of vampires, his face only partially illuminated by the flickering and steadily-dying remains of the similar fire she had created.

It took several shocked seconds for Mercedes to register she had slipped into an uncontrolled trance, had lost control of her mind. Something that, due to her training and normal levels of self discipline, hadn't happened to her in many years. To register she was staring into familiar hellfire vampiric eyes, not the forest-colored human eyes attached to demonic fangs. Alucard was staring down at her. Because she was in the clearing behind Tukiko's house, not the void. She could feel and see and hear again.

She went limp in his grasp as she realized she was out of danger. It took several more seconds for her to register that Alucard had somehow breached her circle without invitation or her fully releasing it. That her mind wasn't playing another trick on her with an illusion of salvation from it. At least, she didn't think so.

And her heart was still pounding like a jackhammer from the fear as some part of her mind noticed that despite his threats about what he'd do should he catch her crying, or that there'd be retribution should she freeze him again, the vampire was not appearing, in facial expression or aura, to be angry at the moment. He was distinctly pensive. Were it anyone but Alucard, that crease to his eyebrows and turn of the corner of his lips might even indicate concern.

Her heart was only just beginning to make its way back to a normal pace when the vampire finally spoke, tone icy. "This may be simultaneously the most stupid and the most dangerous thing you have done since we've met, Seer…" Alucard's jaw clenched tightly for a moment before he added with a better show of stoicism, "But I think I know why you felt the need to undertake such an action, under these circumstances, so I will overlook this foolishness just once."

Mercedes stared at him; mind too foggy with physical pain, roiling emotions and shock to form any other response.

Alucard's eyes narrowed noticeably as he said, "Don't expend any further magic until I deem you recovered, and don't even think of further protesting a return to rest. Ignore that command, Seer, and I swear I will ensure you're in a state to cause no further trouble until such a time as I deem you're properly healed. And do not dare to undertake the ritual you just performed without my permission for the remainder of our association. You must be either very arrogant or very ignorant to dare such magic, especially in your condition. Either way, I know exactly what this sort of 'prayer' of yours is and its signs now, and I will not allow you to do so again while I am forced to protect you. Attempt to argue the matter, or to ignore my command and try the ritual again, and you will not even have time to register the response I give, never mind continue your subversion. Do we have an understanding?"

Mercedes blinked several times in surprise, wondering if the progenitor was truly letting her off with only a warning. Some part of her mind was indignant he'd make such demands, but largely she was relieved he wasn't raging at her in lieu of being unable to cause her physical harm, and confused still as to how he had made it into her circle despite the fact that the magic was only now dispersing itself fully. She was also too damned drained- emotionally, mentally, magically and physically- to offer much argument or fight right now.

So Mercedes simply nodded in response when it became clear that he was waiting for her to show some sign of acknowledgment, saying in a rasping voice, "Yes, I understand you."

Alucard's eyes narrowed further at that answer. His gaze flickered around the contents of the circle, then he shook his head. In a blur of movement he was standing, with the priestess lifted into his arms before she knew what was happening.

She managed to get out, as he strode towards the edge of the clearing, "My supplies! They can't stay…"

"I'll send Val to gather them up," Alucard interrupted her concerned admonition. "You are going back to bed and if your apprentice can't even manage to clean up a ritual's tools, you have no one to blame but yourself for failing to teach her even that much, you obstinate fool of a woman."

Mercedes' responding glare was sorely lacking much in the intimidation department, given her exhausted state on so many levels. Alucard ignored her glare, keeping his gaze focused straight ahead as he made his way back to the house. Unable to do much else, she let herself go limp in his arms, forgoing any further fighting. She was just too tired. But at least she could feel tired. She was alive. And she had seen Tukiko at least one last time.

Mercedes' eyes drifted close and her head came to rest against Alucard's chest.

"Don't fall asleep until we're safely back inside and you've been checked over," the vampire commanded quietly.

She nodded weakly and a small yawn forced its way out of her. As her mouth closed, she realized she could feel fangs poking even more sharply at her lower lip. Ouch. She managed to crack her eyes open and look up at the stoic visage of the progenitor of vampires. "Teeth got longer again, didn't they?"

Alucard didn't answer immediately, then eventually nodded once. He said, glancing down at her briefly, "Your eyes are more golden as well."

"It'll fade…" Her head shifted back to resting against the vampire, eyes closing.

"If you stop exacerbating matters." He shifted her weight in his arms, bringing her into a more comfortable cradling hold.

For several minutes, there was only the sound of the wind in tree branches and leaves, the quiet sound of Alucard's boots crunching through undergrowth, the slight sway as he carried her back home. Then a diffused light was making its way through her eyelids. They must be on the hiking path again.

Despite her mental fog, Mercedes felt foreign emotion along the edges of her senses. Something she wasn't expecting to sense from the progenitor of vampires. She sleepily murmured the question, "You're afraid of something… but also relieved. Why?"

Silence, except for the hoot of an owl off in the distance and some crickets nearer. Gentle rocking motion continued, the vampire continuing their trek without pause.

Just as she was starting to drift off to sleep, his telepathic voice slipped into her unprotected mind. "You weren't in this world when you were in that circle, yet you were. With your magic becoming steadily depleted the longer you stayed, it felt like if you had remained in that trance and didn't have a proper grounding, your spirit could have been lost when the dimensions restored themselves to proper order."

Mercedes shifted her face to peer up at him in surprise. Why would that worry him?

Alucard could hear her unvoiced thought. Still looking straight ahead, his voice came telepathically again, tone agitated. "Besides that your damn ward forces me to protect you and even you're not sure what will happen if I fail and you die?"

Despite his agitated tone, and brisk words, she was still picking up on that strange blend of fear and relief. She thought, "Yes… besides that."

Hellfire gaze met golden-brown. A neutral answer of, "Unlike most I encounter, I find your existence worth preserving." Hellfire gaze went forward again. "If you'd cease recklessly putting it in jeopardy, perhaps you could heal properly."

Mercedes held back a tired laugh; it came out more as a huff. Her eyes drifted closed again. "First I'm a coward, now I'm reckless. You must see me as quite the dichotomy, domn meu."

"Perhaps. But you're no coward, Lady Mercedes, and I should have worded that better."

"No… In a way, you were right... I have been running in some ways from my responsibilities, or refusing to face certain situations properly, and it has gotten me in trouble that could have been avoided. I learned some important lessons… But I need to find another strategy that isn't running."

"Then there might be hope for you yet," Alucard thought sardonically.

Mercedes groaned in annoyance and weakly punched the vampire's chest. Making a fist hurt her frost-bitten hand, though, and it dropped down limply into her lap as the vampire chuckled. "You're insufferable sometimes."

"Yet you suffer my presence still."

"Well there is, as you put it, my damn ward that forces me to."

"Any other reasons?" Alucard asked, tone neutral now.

Mercedes' eyes cracked open again. He glanced down, expression inscrutable. She sighed and, deciding to take Tukiko's advice, said in her thoughts with more honesty than she was comfortable giving out loud, "You're insufferable sometimes, and frequently unpredictable… And a great deal of the time I've been afraid. Afraid you're just as likely to kill me as others that I know want me dead…" Alucard's gaze went back to looking ahead, jaw tightening. She continued her thoughts to him, though, sensing his mind still connected to hers, "Yet you've also been true to your word. And sometimes gone beyond what's expected for an ally. And you came back, even when you didn't have to. I can trust you're showing me real sides of yourself, no matter how faceted and chaotic you are, because you're unabashedly yourself, even when that causes problems. I don't properly understand how all those sides fit together. Not yet. But I think someday I might be able to. And I'd like to believe you don't want me dead and might just have come to appreciate my company a little, that that's not just something you're feigning because I'm useful or you sprung my ward and have to tolerate me."

After several seconds, expression not changing any, he said quietly, "You understand more than you realize you do, Seer. Don't give me cause to regret letting you see those sides."

Mercedes smiled a little and shifted so she curled in more on herself. In a somewhat rasping whisper, she said, "Course not. Wouldn't want to cross the big bad Vampire King."

"Smart Seer," Alucard said, smirk twitching at his own lips now. "We all know that my wrath is great when incited."

"Mhm… you're very scary," she agreed, but with humor remaining. She coughed a little and had to clear her throat, then added ambivalently as she once more closed her eyes, "And I very well may be losing some part of my humanity to find that remotely comforting."

A dark chuckle from the progenitor of vampires. "Or you're finally accepting that there's greater evils in the world, and something dark and terrifying is needed to keep them at bay."

"A real anti-hero you are, Your Majesty," she thought, throat too sore to continuing speaking aloud. "The proper Greek tragedy kind."

Another brief sardonic laugh. His sarcastic thoughts wove through her mind, "I didn't take you for the type to go romanticizing me quite that much..."

Mercedes gave a huff that was partial exasperation, partial suppressed laugh again. "Romanticize? Unless you're meaning the classical sense of showing Roman or Latin influences on concepts, that's once again your arrogance getting the better of you…. Perhaps I'm exaggerating your potential capability to not be the most destructive dark entity to walk the face of the earth, but certainly not commenting on any romantic qualities you may or may not be lacking."

"You're very fortunate you're injured and there's a ward protecting you, as that sounds a challenge."

"Hm? No, no challenge," she corrected, recalling the last time he spoke of challenges. "Just that ego of yours trying to make a mountain out of a molehill again, seeing challenges when I'm not trying to place any."

"As you say," Alucard said, smirk remaining and tone contradictory.

"Incorrigible bastard…"

"That's almost starting to sound like an endearment, Lady Mercedes."

"Keep telling yourself that, domn meu, if that's what makes you happy," she said, but it was entirely without venom. Another sleepy yawn.

Alucard chuckled and shook his head. "And you call me impossible."

" 'Cause you are."

"Who am I to argue with a seer, even when she's barely coherent?"

"The vampire who manages to so frequently find a way to argue with me."

"I wasn't arguing just now."

She could hear the amusement leaking into his voice again. She thought halfheartedly, "You were in tone and implication, if not words. Don't be pedantic right now. It's hardly fair." She heard his boots stepping on wood as his gait shifted ever so slightly. They must be back and heading up the stairs to go inside.

"Yes. You're getting some rest and then we'll discuss our next steps after you've woken, before your cousin arrives."

"You can be so damn bossy sometimes." She realized he was taking her through the backdoor to get to her room, as she could hear the TV playing in the living room, but it was a distance off. She couldn't hear it clearly enough to identify what movie was playing, but it must have been a horror movie because she could pick up a fearful vibe in that direction.

"I'm a king. I was born and raised to command."

"I'll try to keep that correlation in mind, but I think it only fair to remind you we're in the 21st century. Monarchies are few and far between; democracy has been all the rage for hundreds of years now."

Alucard made an unimpressed noise and muttered as he lowered her onto her bed, her blankets pulled aside with his telekinesis, "And that is part of why humanity has taken so many turns for the worse. Most humans aren't sensible enough to know what is in their own best interest in the long term; and the whole society ends up lacking clear direction because they can't cohesively pursue any one agenda as power changes hands so frequently and is disputed. A proper monarch, born and raised to lead, shapes real progress and legacies."

Mercedes shook her head, smirking, as she snuggled up with a fluffy pillow and felt her blankets wrap around her. "That's one of the more elitist things you've said. But of course a 15th century king would think so."

"Of course," Alucard agreed, humor remaining. "Your teeth have shrunk a little, closer to where they were before your 'prayer'."

"Then I guess there's little to worry about if I'm careful and stick to what I know."

He sighed and she could hear the rustle of him going through drawers and bags. "I'll remind you of my warning at both the graveside, and of being careless and middle grounding matters."

"Yes, I remember them." She yawned yet again. "I'm too exhausted to care, though. I'll worry about it later. May I have a painkiller and some water to help me go to sleep?"

"It's too early for you to have another painkiller. If you hadn't overexerted yourself, you wouldn't be in so much pain. And some of your skin is a bit damaged from the unearthly cold you exposed it to. That needs to be dealt with before you sleep again. I'll bring you water after your hand is cleaned and wrapped."

She sighed and nodded, then thought with resignation, "As the king commands."

A cold cream began to be gently applied to her forehead and she flinched at the sting there, but stayed quiet and pulled her hand out from under the blanket so it could likewise be treated.

"You really should have been more careful, Seer," Alucard said out loud after he finished forehead and cheeks and started to use a cloth to wash the dirt from her hand because she groaned in pain. "Much longer and you would be looking at necrosis."

"What can I say," she replied sarcastically, voice breaking on the last note. "Scars from fire, earth, and metal. This could be scars from ether and ice. All I need is for air to somehow leave a mark, and I'd have scars from all the elements."

Alucard paused his ministrations. "That's not the least amusing."

She cracked open her eyes and saw he was glaring at her. "It was an accident, Alucard. My gloves weren't in my bag and I didn't notice at first."

His gaze went to her lips, cheeks, and then forehead, and he gave her a look that clearly meant that didn't explain those parts effected.

She shrugged, defensive, as he began to apply the cream to her hand. "Usually don't have so much contact, but I was particularly upset."

Alucard shook his head. "The spirit should have been more careful then."

"Thought we weren't having this argument any further tonight?"

"We're not. I'm making a statement of fact that, for your sake, better be kept in mind."

She sighed, again, and decided it was better to not say anything at this point. She closed her eyes and tried not to make noises when he touched especially painful spots. As he began wrapping her hand in gauze, she did say warily, "Thank you."

"You're welcome, but don't think this is becoming a habit."

Holding back an irritated sigh at his brusque response, she said, "Course not, your majesty."

After bringing her water and letting her drink her fill, Alucard asked passively, "I can place the obvious causes of the other two you mentioned, but what scar do you have from 'earth'."

Mercedes looked at him in surprise. "Pardon?"

"I'm simply wondering what you meant."

"Oh..." The young woman gave a sigh and shrugged uncomfortably. "It was a stupid accident, that also ended up triggering my first real mini vision."

"How so, if you don't mind the asking?" Alucard asked, sitting down on the chair next to her bed.

A chair that she still wasn't sure where it had come from because she knew all the furniture normally in this house, and that high backed and claw footed piece was not something that Tukiko had bought.

"Two winters after mon cousin taught me to skate, we were back in France as usual for the holidays," Mercedes said with a frown forming, and needing to stifle another yawn. "Our cousin André was being annoying, teasing Pip for not wanting to go out shooting at targets with him and Pierre and Louis, so we grabbed our skates and went back out to the lake... We had just gotten on the ice and started a game of ice tag, when I noticed there was a goose on the other end of the lake, with its feet frozen in the ice. I yelled for Pip to come back, and started skating towards it to try helping it.

"But I wasn't paying attention to where I was skating, and the next thing I knew, I was crashing through a spot of thin ice. The lake had a lot of reeds, weeds and other plants in it, and I couldn't tell which way was up or down with them all around me. And then something caught on my skate, and I started to panic because I couldn't pull free. And that's when I took the first breaths in of water, panicked even more, and started thrashing about. I hit my head on a rock, and everything went blurry, and then I was seeing and feeling flashes of what it was going to be like to drown. Of the burning in my lungs becoming excruciating and how heavy I'd feel as everything else began to feel icy from the water temperature, of pressure in my head and ringing in my ears and then everything going numb and fading away..."

Mercedes shook her head at the memory, gulping hard and feeling ever so thankful that she could breathe freely, even if her throat was aching a bit for other reasons. She cleared her throat, and finished retelling the incident, "Thankfully, Pippi got to me before that could happen. He had a knife on him, the newest one his grandpère had given him for Noël. His grandpère was always giving him weapons for presents, trying to get him to be more like the other boys; but Pip would only ever accept the knives because he could use them for other stuff than hunting, like whittling little figures for me, or cutting little holes in the bottoms of André's sheets so they'd rip when he got in and he'd get yelled at for being so rough on the linens. And thanks to his new and freshly sharp knife, he was able to quickly cut the laces on my skates, pulled my foot out, and then got me out. I hadn't lost consciousness yet, and ended up coughing up more water than I had realized I could have gulped down. Pip was almost as shaken as I was, but he was still quick to carry me back to the manor because my head was bleeding. I ended up needing five stitches for the gash, which thankfully my grand-tante was on hand to do so I didn't have to go to a hospital."

Mercedes pointed to the spot, though it was hidden by her thick wavy hair, about two inches behind her right ear. The vampire's gaze briefly turned there, and he stayed silent as he listened. It seemed like he was listening to the answer to his question with a passing interest, though there was a weird vibration to his usual ambiance of bad mood that she couldn't place a name to, and she was far too exhausted to try sussing it out. "Anyways, the worst part about it all might have been, the childhood trauma, confusion about what happened to me while in the lake, and life long phobia of water that resulted were apparently for nothing. That stupid goose I had seen? Pip went back down to the lake to try rescuing it for me once I was with the adults, and discovered it had already been dead from the cold."

She shook her head again, this time with a tired laugh as she remembered her big cousin storming back into the house. "He came back with the goose, tossed it as his grandpère, and said he wanted it cooked for his dinner. First time I ever saw mon cousin angry about something... and it was at a dead goose." Giggles slipped out as she thought on it. Terrifying as the lake had been, that little incident after had been something else entirely. "The meat was still good, so his grandpère had the chef pluck it and cook it up. Pip ate the entire thing by himself just out of spite for giving him such a scare, and then made me a bracelet of bone beads and feathers. Merde... I wore that ugly thing for over five years, even after all the feathers came off their wiring, until it broke in gym class and some of the beads got lost or crushed under some of the other students' feet before I could grab them."

"I see," Alucard said neutrally. "Thank you for indulging the question... It's getting quite late, and you really should be resting. In lieu of being able to take further painkillers, do you want me to send you to sleep quicker?"

Mercedes blinked in surprise, both from the abrupt return to insisting she get some rest, and from the offer to help with that. After a few seconds thought, she nodded. "That would be appreciated, if you wouldn't mind."

"I wouldn't have offered if I did."

"Thank you."

He merely nodded and gestured for her to get settled in.

Mercedes yawned yet again and shifted into as comfortable a position as she could manage, flinching as the movement pulled at already aggravated injuries. She closed her eyes as Alucard leaned forward and placed a hand on the side of her face. His energy laced its way through her mind and she felt like she was wrapped in a soothing cocoon of dark magic. It was like a billowing cloud mercifully blocking a blazing sun on a too-hot day, or a thick blanket shielding her from light when she had a migraine, except far more effective in the protection given and resulting relief provided. She felt herself swiftly drifting off to sleep as her mind stopped registering the pain she was in or the troubles that had been plaguing her mind. Her last coherent thought was, 'Oh… so that's what it's like...'

Subconsciously, she heard the vampire chuckle quietly.

It was only after she was deeply asleep and he had extricated himself from her mind that Alucard thought to himself, 'Da, printesa mea. That's what it's like. Now rest, you stubborn woman.'

A response came not from the seer, but from another, from the foremost level inside his soul where he housed souls he was most likely to call upon or want easy access to for some reason.

"Say as you like when she's able to hear, heika," the newest acquisition said, "and suppress your emotions as deep as you can, but I'm in here with them. The remaining pieces of what I was sensing are swiftly falling into place. You're in love with our little miko."

Alucard let out a small growl and sat back down on the chair. He snapped out mentally, "If I had known you'd so quickly become a nuisance, Tukiko, I would have foregone intercepting your soul and let it go back to where it belongs."

"Ah, but as we established, my progenitor, you are not exactly handling things as best as you could be on your own," the vampiric spirit said, unconcerned as he stretched out in his elder's consciousness and then sat down lotus style. "And I promised Mercedes that I would always watch over her as best as I can. Joining the collective in here allows me to fulfill that promise, and will hopefully impart some lessons to you that you desperately need."

"I'm already doubting the usefulness of your so-called lessons," Alucard replied. "You've already misconstrued my inner workings with your first major assessment."

Tukiko smirked knowingly and looked up. "Is that so, heika? I would propose that maybe you're not as sure of your inner workings as you once were."

"I would propose that you keep in mind that if you irritate me too greatly, I can sacrifice your soul at the earliest convenience and there won't be any semblance of afterlife for you ever again."

Tukiko raised an eyebrow archly. "As if that would frighten me. While I'd like to continue my cycles of rebirth, an absolute lack of existence would mean little to me personally should you follow through on that threat because I'd no longer be capable of being aware of any loss." He could sense Alucard's anger flare again. He said more seriously, "Be that as it may, heika, I am not trying to irritate you. As I've reminded Mercedes on a few occasions, I could sense long ago that she was not mine to claim, and so I protect her as best as I can because I do love her dearly for the spot in my life she filled and because I wish to see her find happiness of her own someday. I've made a few miscalculations, I am not perfect, but I correct as best as I can. And you, ancient one, seem to be keenly desiring for her to be protected and have clearly fallen in love with her. But your mind is quite the labyrinth, even to yourself, and there's many sections that have been damaged. You need my aid to navigate not just your inner conflicts, but to perhaps understand her better."

Alucard gave an irritated sigh. "At this rate, you're going to cause more damage than you solve."

"Let me ask you this, heika. If you're not in love with our little miko, or at least well on your way to falling in love with her, and if you weren't already aware of your own precarious mental state and wanting to minimize the damage it could cause to her, why did you accept my offer?"

"Maybe it was to use your knowledge of her to gain a less contentious cooperation until I get her to remove this damn ward; then I'll let you have the torment of watching me snap her neck as punishment for her curse."

Tukiko snorted back a laugh at that, shaking his head and making a dismissive gesture. His eyes narrowed as he noticed ethereal blood beneath his nails. "Damn. I didn't realize enacting a reverse Prometheus on the treacherous phoenix would actually leave behind essence. Hm…" He concentrated and the ethereal blood detached by bits and drifted off. "I'll keep that in mind for his next round of punishment and be sure to take my time with it…" That done, he folded his hands in his lap and looked back up to Alucard. "As to your ludicrous statement, heika. We both know full well that you don't mean that. If you can't be honest in the privacy of your own mind, where can you be?"

"What makes you think I'm not being honest?" Alucard asked bluntly, teeth grinding. "The thought did cross my mind as I debated your proposal."

Tukiko raised an eyebrow again, then sighed. "I've got my work cut out for me… As some of this age like to say, however, 'the doctor is in'. You're so very fortunate that, while I may not be a seer like our dear miko, I have such heightened intuition and senses because of my centuries of dedication to becoming more attuned to the universe."

"And what lesson, pray tell, does the enlightened vampire sage wish to impart this evening to prove you have more to offer than assurances that I need your aid?"

"Flippant, heika, very flippant," Tukiko said, glancing down at his nails, examining them fastidiously as though he was looking for spots of ethereal blood he may have missed. "I'm not thinking you're taking this very seriously."

"If you expect for one moment that I'm going to plead with you…"

"Of course not, heika," Tukiko interrupted the enraged outburst. "But a little less sarcasm would be setting things on a proper start. Though, I suppose it may be a bit much to hope to curb some of your less productive habits so soon."

"My patience wears thin, Tukiko," Alucard said in icy warning. "I'm highly tempted to ask my servant, Walter, the favor of dicing this form up into a thousand pieces and then using your essence to reconstitute a body."

Tukiko glanced up with narrowed eyes, radiating a powerful aura that was enough to give the Vampire King momentary pause. "Your cavalier attitude for the unfortunates that you commit to oblivion to continue residing in a physical form is dishonorable, Draculea. While I can understand the necessity when you have genuinely been bested, as souls are the currency you must use to craft a new physical form; you should still appreciate each of those sacrifices, no matter what you value that individual soul to be, and not be so quick to make them. You weaken yourself in more than one way, and make this world less than it was each time you do so."

"Is that what you think?" Alucard asked, rage growing. "You presume much, Tukiko."

"I presume much?" Tukiko asked, dark hellfire gaze blazing as he stood and pointed at his progenitor. "You are the one who presumes much after having lost certain knowledges you once had that would have told you I am correct. You have no idea what those souls were destined for. What they might have accomplished in their next life. When you utterly destroy one, you remove it from the natural cycle and the universe must struggle to fill that void."

"You come to that conclusion from the false theory that souls are reincarnated repeatedly," Alucard said disparagingly. He crossed his arms, physically and in his mind, and shook his head in disgust. "That is a ridiculous myth. Souls naturally go to the afterlife and will stay in one realm of it or the other until Judgment Day, unless I harvest them and make use of them as I wish. All they miss is the supposed great war that will take place when God and the devil pit them against one another."

Tukiko snorted back another laugh. "Is that what you think? You westerners and your arrogant assumptions that you and your theories are correct and all others are false..."

"Westerner?" Alucard asked with a hint of amusement.

"Compared to Japan, yes, Wallachia is West," the vampire mystic pointed out. "And as one who has truly died, I know otherwise from your assumptions. I know there are some souls that are only born once because they prove too fragile and are incapable of trying to repeat the cycle of life. My dear Fumiko is unfortunately one of those souls. And I know that there are souls that are strong enough to go through cycles of rebirth, trying to reach enlightenment. I lived my last life for more than 250 years. And when I was slain by Iscariot, I discovered for certain that I lived other lives before. I've been remembering more of them and assimilating lessons from those lives with lessons from this last one."

Tukiko jabbed his finger in Alucard's direction. "I may be younger in vampiric existence than you, Draculea, but my memories reach back farther than your fragmented ones. And I will tell you this, heika. You should be careful how you treat the souls in your custody. Not because some divine or hellish force compels you. Because souls are precious. Every single one of them. Young and old, broken and enlightened. You never know what their future potential is, what their past knowledge and connections may be. And deny it all you like with your Christian entrenched arrogance, there are old souls."

Tukiko pointed in Mercedes' general direction. "My miko is one such old soul. Little Xander is another old soul." He pointed back at Alucard. "So are you, even before your birth 600 years ago in Wallachia. There are several old souls I'm sensing in this collective, and there's likely many others you have encountered over the centuries. I can only see incarnations of a person that directly intersected one of my past lives or earlier in this most recent life. I can't see past lives of a person that I had no contact with, but I can sense when they are an old soul. And those who are old souls will gravitate towards souls they once knew to continue connections they had or resolve old conflicts. You may not consciously realize it, especially with as broken as your mind is, but your very soul is separate from that damage and will recognize signs of what was once familiar and will react to it."

Tukiko pointed at the progenitor again, a note of recrimination in his voice, "You're just too damn stubborn and brainwashed at the moment to consider anything outside what is convenient for your worldview and aims. But if you have any semblance of sense, you'll start piecing together what I can feel your soul is yelling at you. Otherwise, you're doomed to repeat history. And even when you do finally piece it together, I would caution that you tread carefully, because that doesn't mean others will have likewise put it together and we both know how dangerous it can be to overwhelm a person with more knowledge than they can handle at one time."

As Alucard searched for some response, utterly blindsided by such blunt yet esoteric statements, Tukiko waved a hand dismissively. "When you remove your head from the sand and dislodge the grains from your ears and eyes, we'll speak further on it. How long that takes- hours, days, or even years- is entirely up to you; though it's a good thing I no longer need breathe because I believe I'd suffocate a hundred times over before you finally accept certain truths. Until then, heika, it will be pointless to continue that conversation.

"My final suggestion for the night, if you can swallow your pride to follow any of them, is that you call your hounds off Valarie, immediately. I know she can try one's patience, the gods know she even tested mine at times, but she's not nearly as abrasive as she used to be and she means well. I can sense she's learned her lesson, and you will destroy most, if not all, of the tentative good will you've rebuilt with our miko if she discovers you were tormenting her adopted sister.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go sink my claws back into the little firebird. My rage has been pent up too long out of respect for my miko, who used my own lessons on forgiveness against me to keep me from dealing with him as he deserved for desecrating her; and I might as well be productive while residing in your mind, as it is now quite unlikely that I'll be able to resolve that in another life. I promise to not render him ultimately useless for your purposes, should you need call upon his soul."

Tukiko began to walk off into the vast vista that was Alucard's mind. The progenitor of vampires realized he had been dismissed by one of his dark offspring. "Tukiko, I did not give you leave to do as you like in here."

Tukiko heaved an exaggerated sigh, glancing over his shoulder. "No, heika, you didn't. You did, however, bring me in here for the aforementioned agreement we made. I am fulfilling that bargain. When it's appropriate, I'll advise for your individual interactions with Mercedes so you understand the source of her thoughts or behavior that are baffling you, or to mitigate damage you may be on the verge of causing her. My priority will be, as it always has been, upholding my promise to protect my miko. Otherwise, I can give you no further aid until you accept certain truths already exposed and waiting for you to acknowledge. And I am under no obligations to hold your hand through the process, as there are some puzzles you must solve yourself. I am also under no obligation to endure your less pleasant moods and behavior, only show you that they are there and offer advice on how to curb them. When you have need me, I'll surface from the crowd within here, but for now I will take my leave."

And with that, much to Alucard's annoyance that the foreign entity was so deft at navigating his mental landscape, Tukiko disappeared from view and immediate awareness. If Alucard concentrated, he could sense Tukiko's essence shifting within his soul. However, the deeply spiritually aware vampire was playing an adroit game of cat and mouse with his progenitor and it would be time consuming to try trapping him.

Alucard gave a heavy sigh. Fucking mystics. Sometimes, on rare occasions, he claimed souls that proved to be more trouble than they were worth. He wasn't sure if Tukiko was one of them, but he was certainly more trouble than expected.

After taking a minute to get his temper under better control, he turned his psychic sight out towards the living room. His servants had left the room, not wanting to watch the human's suffering, and not daring to intervene and be subject to a punishment for doing so. Someone, likely Seras, had turned the TV on and had left a movie he didn't recognize playing. He wasn't sure if that had been done to try giving Valarie something to concentrate on, or if it had been done to help drown out the noises she was making so said servants weren't bothered by them.

He saw Valarie had eventually managed to inch her way towards the nearest corner of the room. Her back was to the corner, legs curled to her chest, and head ducked with her arms protectively around it. Pieces of her pant legs were missing, and a sleeve was ripped off. There was a small line of four scratches on her left bicep that looked to be from one of the hound's teeth, undoubtedly a lunge at her had just missed its mark from her moving in a way the hound hadn't anticipated. Unfortunately, he had already discovered that Valarie had been correct when she said he couldn't make the hounds intentionally cause harm. Accidental injuries, from her own ill judgment and responses, however, were not prevented by the ward. Whether the same hound who had caused the scratches or another, the scratches were being lapped at by one them, and the unnaturally long and rough tongue kept the wound irritated and oozing a trickle of blood. The other five were circled around, waiting their turn to do the same and intermittently growling at her or each other if one tried to push ahead of its turn. From the extremely quiet whimpering noises she was issuing, but otherwise making no reaction, he'd guess she had fallen into some sort of catatonic state from the terror the hounds had caused her.

The Vampire King gave an aggrieved groan. He had missed the best parts, apparently... Aggravated as he may be with the mystic for lecturing him, he wouldn't argue that completely breaking Valarie would draw Mercedes' wrath on him. His main intent from the beginning was to break certain bad habits for the sake of his own sanity while having to tolerate the apprentice, but the entertainment while teaching the obnoxious human the lesson was a welcome bonus. So much for that source of amusement, he couldn't really draw this out much more.

Alucard grudgingly stood and paced out of the bedroom and to where the human was in the living room. At the sound of his boot steps drawing near, Valarie gave a faintly louder whimper, but continued not to move or react. He made a gesture to the hounds and they retreated a few steps from the human.

The Vampire King crouched down and said sharply, with a touch of compulsion in his voice to force compliance, "Valarie, sit up straight and look at me."

With jerky, stiff motions, the redheaded human slowly unfurled enough to push herself to a seated position, then her head lifted with straining reluctance. Her blue-green eyes were blood shot from crying, mascara smudged around them and down her cheeks.

Alucard restrained himself from smirking, and said stoically, "I am aware from some things said that you lack impulse control and you're a 'Brat', which means you've got a mile long masochist streak and a desire to provoke trouble to gain a negative reaction and punishing attention. But I have absolutely no desire or reason to tolerate your kinks or quirks, nor get to the root of why you might have such self-destructive tendencies and help you solve them. Unlike most others around you, from what I've observed, I will not sacrifice my comforts for yours. I have little tolerance for disrespectful attitudes or demands being made of me, especially from those who have not gained my respect or convinced me of their long term usefulness. You will keep yourself in check and mind your manners. Step out of line that egregiously again, and I'll give my hounds permission to drag you to the middle of the woods and give you the attention you apparently crave by making you their bitch." The human's eyes bulged in terror and she let out a high pitched whimper. "Gently, of course, so as not to cause you physical damage. Do we have an understanding?"

Valerie's gaze darted to the slavering hounds around her, and then back to the progenitor of vampires. She gave a series of sharp quick nods and stuttered out between near hyperventilating breaths, "Y-y-yes. M-m-my bad. I-I-I I'm s-s-s-sorry for buh-buh-being r-r-rude. I w-w-won't do it ag-g-g-ain."

"I hope not. I prefer not having to resort to such crude means to enforce decorum, but, well, the Seer's wards have left me with so few options, and I do demand certain standards be upheld. Mind your manners, and we won't need to have such unpleasantness."

"Y-y-yea. O-f-f-f cours-s-se. I'm s-s-s-sorry."

Alucard gave a nod and stood, and a gesture sent the hounds away. "It's past midnight. I think it's time for you to retire for the evening."

Valarie nodded and shakily stood, "Y-y-yes. Th-thank you."

He made an impatient gesture and she took off like a bullet for Fumiko's room.

Once the door had closed behind her, he shook his head with lingering irritation and stretched out his awareness towards his servants. One was still awake, ostensibly reading a book procured from Tukiko's modest library. He said telepathically, "That, Walter, is how you subdue an unwanted Brat nuisance. Average threats of violence, attempts to compromise or politely instruct, or making long raging rejections of their behavior and going tit for tat with them, never work because you're only feeding into their pathology. Find what they're truly terrified of, give them a few small tastes that increase in severity so they realize you're not bluffing as you unmistakably outline and then reinforce what behavior you expect. When you give the final threat of a full reckoning with the thing they fear, they'll bend over backwards to curb their behavior within the specified parameters, and be quick to apologize for small infractions that slip out, because they believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that wholly unwelcome punishment will be brought down on them."

"I am taking detailed mental notes of your technique, Master Alucard, should I ever encounter such a problem again," Walter said with a hint of amused appreciation.

"Good. I'm feeling peckish and Seras needs her rest. Be discriminating so as not to arouse notice, but bring me something to drink. I'll put them into a deeper hypnosis than usual so you're able to return them safely."

"Of course, sir," Walter said, closing the book and setting it aside.

"Thank you, Walter." Alucard exited the house to gather up the seer's ritual supplies, as her apprentice was obviously in no condition to do so and they were likely to get some light rain by morning. She was likely going to be testy when she heard the details of the plans for their extraction from this temporary safe haven, especially given what she revealed just before falling asleep, so there was no need to compound that with irritation from such items being damaged.

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A/N: This is officially my longest chapter for this fic, at 15.5k words. But it didn't feel right to split it. My fingers ache after getting this done and edited in 2 days during my free time. Hope you enjoyed it folks.