After following Indra in tense silence for a while, we slowed to a halt and she instructed us to tie our horses nearby a remarkable set of ruins. It was difficult not to be distracted by the looming shapes of the structure and I was aware of how little we knew of Earth compared to the grounders who had built their home here for generations. Despite the nerves building in my stomach, I continued to walk alongside Octavia into the unknown and tried not to allow myself to be distracted by the theories whizzing around in my mind. Indra silently lit a fire and we waited expectantly until she took a seat and I glanced over at Octavia with confusion.
"Who is this woman, Indra?" She enquired as she stepped closer to her mentor with curiosity filling her face and Indra glanced up at her with an unimpressed expression.
"She is a warrior and a friend. She is also your best chance at getting what you want. That is all you need to know." She responded with a firm tone and Octavia shifted awkwardly on the spot at the firm response. Indra sighed and considered us both for a few moments, before she seemed to decide that she could trust us with some further details. "She was a village leader, like me, until her people were massacred and only she remained. Since then, she has lived alone and accepts tasks from the Commander when she is called upon to serve. As I recommended her for this role, I deliver the assignments and so she will come when I signal." She elaborated in a bored tone and I felt myself growing tense as I processed this information.
"What makes you think she will help us?" Octavia probed and I felt nervous on her behalf as she continued to press at Indra. I noticed that despite what she had taught me, she mostly ignored the rule to not ask questions and wondered if their time together had allowed them to develop a strong enough relationship for Indra to view her as an equal.
"She does not consider herself part of any clan and cares not for our politics. She serves the Commander for her own reasons, but she has no investment in our distrust of Skaikru. You may be able to use her disinterest in our war to your advantage." She explained in a tone that conveyed her annoyance at Octavia's continued questioning, before she turned to inspect me with an assessing eye again. "Your friend resembles her only child. She died in the massacre. I believe this is no coincidence." She added and I blanched at the information. I shot a panicked glance at Octavia, who seemed equally stunned at this idea, but before I could get any words out we were startled by a sharp voice.
"Who have you brought to me, Indra?" A woman stood at the edge of the ruins, just out of the firelight where it was impossible to discern more than a silhouette and Indra rushed to her feet to greet her. I remained rooted to the spot as I worked to calm the frazzled nerves that her arrival had caused and strained in an attempt to identify any of her features.
"These are allies, Octavia and Indigo Kom Skaikru." She explained in an even tone and the woman turned toward us with an expression that was unclear in the dark. Though I couldn't see her face, I could sense her disbelief and began to feel uncomfortable with this plan.
"You would bring Skaikru to this place?" She asked in a cold voice that displayed her suspicion and Indra clenched her jaw defensively. Although she had earlier stated that she considered this woman a friend, they seemed strangely stiff and I began to wonder if this was ordinary grounder behaviour. Until now, I had always imagined that they were warmer in their own relationships, outside of the impending threat of war but it seemed that formality was more deeply ingrained in their culture that I had first believed.
"Octavia trained as my second and has earned my trust. She would not betray it." Indra stated firmly and I could sense that Octavia was pleased to hear this. "This girl seeks to be taught our ways. I cannot teach her in Polis whilst the Commander still battles to defend the ceasefire. I present her to you for judgement." She revealed with a flourish before stepping back to allow the woman to assess me.
The stranger strolled slowly toward the campfire and as the light revealed her features, I felt myself take a sharp intake of breath. I recognised her immediately, but had long since forgotten about her existence due to all of the insanity that had occurred since. I recalled my brief guard duty in the woods, where I was ambushed by a grounder who spared my life for no discernible reason and all at once, I understood her choice as I replayed Indra's words in my mind. She didn't spare me out of mercy, but simply because I reminded her of her deceased daughter and the haunted expression that she wore as she stared into my eyes only confirmed my suspicions. She glanced over at Indra suspiciously, who nodded in acknowledgement, then back to me as she struggled to regain her composure. She had long copper hair that was almost entirely neatly plaited and a stern face that was as pale as my own. I shared her difficulty, as I stared into her blue eyes that reminded me of my mothers and couldn't help a pang of familiarity myself.
"I am Arlo Kom Trishanakru. You wish to learn our ways, child?" Her voice was gravelly and full of authority as she stepped closer, and I nodded silently in return. "Your people are soft and weak. You will need to prove that you are worthy of my time. Do that and you will have the chance to regret your request. We do not hold hands. You will keep up or be left behind." She divulged threateningly and I nodded, despite an overwhelming feeling of uncertainty that gripped my stomach. "Come with me. Indra, we will see how promising your offering is." She stated as she began to stride away and I was relieved when Octavia and Indra followed together, instead of immediately leaving me alone with her.
Arlo led us further into the ruins in silence and I was amazed by the beauty of the structure. I wondered what this place had been before the world was destroyed, as we stepped through wide archways and into winding tunnels. Octavia and Indra fell further behind us as the space grew tighter and I found myself becoming nervous as I continued to navigate through. Arlo paused for a moment at an open archway and indicated for me to enter first. I took a deep breath and stepped through without question as I had been trained to do. As I emerged into a large, circular space, I heard the sound of a gate slamming and turned to find that I had been locked inside. Octavia hurried over to pull on it, but it didn't budge and I scanned my surroundings with a feeling of dread.
There were high vantage points, but no other exits and it was clear that I would not be able to escape unless Arlo chose to free me. Octavia pounded against the gate with desperation, despite Indra's barking orders not to interfere. A gradual movement on the other side of the space drew my attention, as a man chained to the wall struggled to his feet and my heart skipped a beat at the size of him. There was a jangling sound as keys fell from above in a crash at his feet and I faced upward to find Arlo leaning over from an alcove.
"This man slaughtered an entire village. He would have suffered death at the hands of those who call for justice, but there are no survivors to claim that right. Prove to me that you are capable of killing him and I will train you." She announced from above as the man eagerly snatched for the keys and I stepped back in terror. "You, ripa. If you kill her, I will consider burning your body." She added to spur him on and I felt my stomach lurch. She threw a dagger down in front of him whilst I frantically reached for mine and my hand brushed over the pistol that was hidden beside it.
I knew that this could improve my chances of survival, but that if I used it in this fight it would not earn my place with Arlo. I would have to depend on grounder tactics if I were to impress her and I gulped nervously as my opponent finished removing his restraints. When he straightened up it was clear that he was enormous, with wide shoulders and a ridiculous amount of muscle. He strode toward me with a menacing attitude and I could hear my heartbeat hammering in my ears.
I held my ground as he closed in on me and as he reached out to slash the knife in a wide motion, I jumped backward to dodge it. Seizing the opportunity to abuse the momentum of him falling forward, I brought my leg up to land a powerful kick in his stomach. He wheezed heavily whilst I bounced lightly on my feet to space myself from him. He hurtled around heavily and I only just crouched in time to avoid a sharp blow that skimmed over my head. Unfortunately, I wasn't as quick on the next strike and his fist slammed into my face with an earth shattering impact. The shock caused me to stumble and he landed a quick succession of punches that threw me to the ground. I rolled out of the way, causing him to hit the solid floor on his next attempt and managed to drag myself back to my feet, despite feeling like my head could explode at any moment.
All of the training that I'd been through could never have prepared me for fighting to the death with someone this size and I felt myself slipping into panicked habits. I sloppily dodged around him for a while as I wracked my brain for ideas, until a powerful jab caught me in the ribs and I lost my edge. The grounder seized me by the neck and lifted me from the ground with a pressure that made my windpipe feel as if it were about to split in two. I kicked my legs in desperation as I squirmed in his grip and could hear myself screaming in my own mind.
In a moment of clarity, I plunged the dagger into the inner elbow of the arm that he was holding me with and his jerk reaction caused me to plummet back to my feet. Without missing a beat, I struck at his knees, prompting him to fall forward onto them. A desperate burst of energy allowed me to charge forward to kick him under the chin with all of the force that I could muster and he splayed flat on his back. My hands scrambled across the ground for the dagger and I brutally thrusted it into his chest. Hot, sticky blood sprayed up into my face as my hands shook wildly and I remained frozen in place as I stared down into his stunned face. My lungs burned from the panic and several parts of my body throbbed in a way that I knew wouldn't heal anytime soon.
The gate that had trapped me in here finally swung open and Octavia rushed inside to help me to my feet as I groaned. Indra followed and seemed to view me with a new interest as I wobbled weakly on the spot. I could tell that she was surprised by this experience and couldn't deny a slight pride in this, hidden deep beneath the whirlwind of emotions that currently wreaked havoc on my mind. Eventually Arlo entered the room with a controlled expression and I panted as I awaited her judgement.
"Well fought and you still live. This is not what I expected." She commented as she crossed her arms at me and I scoffed at this confirmation that she had believed I would die here. "Very well, I will teach you. We camp here tonight. You'll begin your training in the morning." She declared, before sweeping out of the room and leaving me unsure whether I should celebrate or flee during the night.
- O - O - O - O - O -
By morning, my entire body screamed in protest at every attempted movement and sleeping on the ground certainly hadn't helped with stiffness. I acknowledged that I would probably have to get used to many uncomfortable aspects of living with Arlo and the comfort of Bellamy's bed felt as if it were a lifetime away. I woke to discover a pile of clothes on the ground beside me and reluctantly slid off my jacket. Before I could get any further, Octavia strolled into the room and smiled warmly at me.
"Ah, I see you got your new uniform then." She commented as she indicated to the clothing and I shrugged in response. I hadn't thought as far ahead as this and although I was willing to adapt to as much of the grounder lifestyle as was necessary, I still felt a pang of sadness at the idea of shedding my usual clothing.
"Yeah, I was wondering about that." I confessed as she wandered over to take a seat beside me and she shrugged to indicate that she had not expected this either.
"Arlo says you're too indiscreet in Skaikru clothes. Apparently you need to be able to blend in wherever you're going." She explained and I tilted my head thoughtfully. Although this made sense in theory, I had to admit that this earned my curiosity and my mind wandered over what challenges Arlo might have in store for me. It seemed that my training could become more involved than either of us would ever have imagined. "That also means your hair. I've got a bit of time before we head out, I could braid it for you? I can guarantee that I'll be gentler than letting her do it." She suggested and I nodded at her gratefully. She slid into position behind me and made her best effort to get her hands through my hair that had already begun to dread in places. It was remarkably therapeutic for her to neatly organise it into sections and her presence helped me to gradually relax.
"It's not too late to go back, you know." She muttered in an attempted subtle manner and I tensed at her voice. "I know that this wasn't the plan. You left camp to train with Indra and instead you've ended up with Arlo, who is…" She trailed off thoughtfully and I could tell that she was struggling to decide what she wanted to say. I wasn't even sure how I could describe the differences between what I had expected and where I had ended up, but instead decided to lighten the mood with humour.
"The kind of grounder you could imagine eating their young?" I suggested and she snorted in laughter from behind. It was pleasant to enjoy such a simple moment alone with her, even if it was only fleeting and I noticed a pang of nostalgia in my chest. If nothing else, I was glad that my interest in this way of life had allowed me to re-establish my bond with Octavia and that my new knowledge gave me an insight into the person that she had become in our time apart.
"Exactly. Are you going to be okay with her?" She asked with concern in her voice and I sighed before answering. I appreciated our mutual protectiveness, but most of all I was pleased that we had both learned to trust the other to make the correct decision and to respect their wishes. As I reflected on how much things had changed between us since we arrived, an additional surge of determination rose from my chest to continue growing stronger to be able to meet threats at her side.
"I asked for this Tavi, literally killed for it. Now I'm going to make sure that I learn everything I can. I'll learn to handle Arlo." I assured her and she hummed thoughtfully behind me. "Just do me a favour and don't mention the whole fight to the death thing to Bellamy. I won't visit home until I heal up a bit. I think he'll freak if he sees me with black eyes again." I added with a slight snicker and Octavia shuffled around to view me as she finished up.
"I'll keep it between us, don't worry. Your hair is all done." She chimed and as I moved to stand, I hissed in pain. My hand shot to my waist and I struggled to straighten up. "You look terrible." She added with her brows furrowed tightly and I scoffed as I shook my head at her.
"Charming, thanks babe." I teased as I forced a smile to hide my difficulty. I started to undress to change into my new outfit and Octavia cursed under her breath as I slid my vest off. She moved closer and brushed her fingers across my waist with a horrified expression.
"Fuck Indie, I think that ogre broke your ribs." She gasped and I glanced to where she touched to find a large purple bruised area that covered almost an entire side of my waist. I hadn't paid much attention until now and even I was shocked by the appearance of it. "You need to get this looked at." She ordered as she met my eyes and I stepped backward to shake her off.
"It's not that bad. I can't immediately bail when I've only just earned my place." I argued despite my inner horror and she stared at me in obvious disbelief. "I promise I will get Abby to take a look when I next come to camp, okay?" I offered, as I began to step into the clothing that I'd been provided and tried to ensure that I didn't show any indication of concern. There was a heavily ripped pair of black jeans and a pair of knee high, lace up boots which I put on first. I was confused by what seemed to be an absence of a top, but Octavia revealed what I thought to be a long piece of fabric was actually a complicated, wrap around shirt which she assisted me into. There was a bodice that fastened at the front and had long, torn strips hanging from the side that allowed me to hide my radio and gun out of sight. Lastly were some arm warmers which had no real function that I could think of, but I put them on to appease my teacher. When I'd finished I turned to face Octavia, who examined me with pride.
"Look at you, you certainly look the part." She crooned and I shrugged in return. It was interesting to discover how excited she was by this and her enthusiasm gave me a fresh buzz of appreciation for the journey I was about to undertake.
"All I'm missing now is my scary war paint." I commented in a teasing manner and she shook her head at me.
"They only wear that when they're going to battle, not all the time. It's kinda in the name, doofus." She snorted as she punched me playfully in the arm. I finished arming myself and hid my radio and gun, then followed Octavia outside to meet our mentors.
Indra and Arlo were standing close together as we emerged from the building and spoke in low voices. I noticed Indra passed her a small piece of paper that Arlo neatly tucked away and they touched arms in a grounder gesture of respect. As we neared, Arlo turned to face me with an appraising look and I was sure that I caught a hint of sentimentality in her expression as her eyes roamed my new appearance. For a moment, I wondered if she had even dressed me in a similar manner to her daughter, but the thought was uncomfortable and so I pushed it from my mind.
"Come child, we have much to do." She ordered as she turned to stride away without another word and I strained to keep my focus in the moment. I glanced at Octavia to find her peeking between us nervously and without warning, she pulled me into a tight embrace.
"Don't let her kill you." She whispered with her mouth close to my ear and I smiled fondly over her shoulder. I basked in her comfort for a few moments, allowing her strength to bleed into me and committing the feeling to memory as I worried that I wouldn't know when I might see her next. As we broke apart, my attention drifted over to Indra, who nodded subtly over at me in approval and my brows raised in surprise.
It took some considerable strength to tear myself away from the security of my best friend and to follow the strangely cold woman who now guided my fate. We collected our horses in silence and I climbed on to find that Arlo had tied hers nearby, out of sight of the meeting spot too. She led me for hours without a single word and I quickly began to miss the chatty rides through the woods with Octavia. I realised that my reality would be quite different now to anything that I'd previously known and steeled myself for the unexpected.
- O - O - O - O - O -
The clang of daggers filled the air as I recoiled from another attack and struggled to maintain my balance. Arlo continued to batter me with a barrage of beatings and over the past few days I'd come to understand that my training until now had been merely child's play. She swept her leg out to take my footing and I slammed into the ground with a groan.
"Get knocked down, get back up." Arlo threatened as she paced around my crumpled form and I had lost count of how many times I'd heard this statement. I had never known exhaustion as I felt in this moment and I couldn't catch my breath. The practice had been utterly relentless since we arrived in her camp and I had the gut instinct that she was testing both my stamina and resolve. I tried to sit up but I couldn't control a single muscle as my entire body cried out in agony. "Do you surrender, sky girl?" She leered from above me and I stared up at her with heavy pants of breath.
"I yield." I groaned as I dropped my training daggers and stared lazily up at the sky. She had woken me during the night, kept me awake until late, stalked me to attack whenever I let down my guard and now I had nothing left to give. I bitterly awaited a punishment as I laid in the dirt and wondered which bruise I would receive for surrender. Instead, she simply smiled and dropped to a sitting position beside me.
"You are strong for a sky person; determined and stubborn." She commented evenly and I thought I might die of shock from the compliment. "But you fight with anger and hatred. This fire fuels you, but it burns you also. You cannot control it. You fear it." She clarified as she studied me with a wisdom that was clear to see. I fidgeted on the ground in an effort to raise myself into a sitting position and she pushed me flat onto my back again with little effort. "This is your weakness. It will get you killed. You must learn to control it." She ordered in a stern tone and I sighed deeply.
"That is why I'm here. I need inner strength too." I admitted under my breath and she smirked.
"That cannot be given, you have it or you do not." She stated coldly as she got to her feet. "You must decide if you wish to be a warrior, or a coward." She added, dusting herself off and placing her sword back in it's sheath. "You have today to rest, tomorrow we hunt." She stated, before striding away without a backwards glance and leaving me swiftly in the dirt.
Once alone in my tent I cleaned myself up, examining the black and blue of my skin that almost seemed to be my natural colour now. I removed the unnecessary items of clothing so that I could relax and my radio dropped to the ground. Wrapping myself tightly in a blanket, I gripped the radio close to me and as the light around the tent faded, I knew that Bellamy would likely be heading back to his quarters by now.
"Xena to Hells Bells." I spoke quietly into the radio with a sly smile and waited eagerly for his voice. It had been gruelling since my arrival here and I had to admit that I could do with some comfort. A few moments of silence passed and I could imagine Bellamy rushing to find somewhere quiet to respond. I felt my eyes slipping closed from sheer exhaustion when a crackle finally alerted me to his presence.
"Hey Trouble." The warmth in his words filled my chest, even through the tinny speaker and I felt a smile spread across my lips. "How's life with the Amazons?" He teased and I quietly giggled to myself.
"It's exhausting on a level I never could have imagined." I confessed in a meek voice and could sense his concern in his delayed response. Although I wouldn't lie to him, I was also aware that I needed to be careful how much detail I shared and struggled to consider my words before I shared them.
"Are you alright?" He probed with a thinly veiled worry and I sighed deeply as I analysed my answer for anything that might send him into a protective frenzy.
"I'm getting used to it. How are you? Things okay in camp?" I enquired with a feeling of concern in my gut as the faces of the loved ones that I usually focused on flashed through my mind. The responsibility bared down on me and I tried to push it away before I could find myself crushed under the guilt of leaving them in their time of need. I reminded myself that I was here to become stronger so that I could protect all of us and asserted that I had to focus on myself.
"I'm alright, nothing much has changed here. I'm better now that I know you're safe." He mumbled and I hummed thoughtfully. I knew that he would be finding this change difficult, as his nature always urged him to keep his loved ones close and under his protection and I was proud of him for how well he was dealing with this. It was an important lesson for us both and although my heart cried out for him, I steeled myself against the loneliness that threatened to swallow me.
"We're gonna be moving on tomorrow, so I don't know when I'll next be able to check in." I relayed as I broke into a yawn mid sentence and he sighed.
"You sound like you could use some rest. I hope she's giving you a chance to sleep?" He interrogated in a voice that I recognised well as defensive and I hummed in response sleepily. "It's good to hear your voice Indie. Get some sleep and stay in touch." He remarked and I could already feel my eyelids becoming heavy following the relief of speaking with him.
"I will. Take care of yourself. I'll come back soon." I mumbled before switching off the radio with a pang in my chest and settled down for a night of well earned sleep.