~ Chapter 30 ~

Killua's heart beats fast as he runs down the hallway. Feet pattering against the carpet, he bursts inside when he gets to the others' hotel room. His pulse knocks in rhythm with his breath.

"Have you guys seen Gon?!"

Bisky, Palm, Ikalgo, Canary, and Amane turn their surprised faces toward him from the table.

"He wasn't in our room," Killua says, breathing hard. His heart leaps into his throat as he says it.

Standing from the couch, Bisky speaks up first. "We haven't seen him. What's wrong?"

Alluka and Kalluto arrive behind Killua. They stop on the tiled kitchen floor of the others' private suite.

Mouth agape, Ikalgo points an accusing tentacle at the youngest Zoldyck. "You! Why are you out of your room?!"

"Uhg, not this again." Kalluto flicks his chin as he rolls his eyes. His hair shifts over his shoulders when he half-turns away, crossing his arms.

"He's all right," Alluka affirms. "He won't run away or rat us out."

Ikalgo doesn't seem convinced. His large round eyes narrow, lips pursing together in unspoken distrust.

"Killua, do you want us to help you find Gon?" Palm asks. In a white tank top and ripped skinny jeans, the scaly woman stands alongside Bisky before the three Zoldyck siblings. Soon enough, Canary, Amane, and Ikalgo are beside them.

Quite suddenly, Killua gets swept up by a feeling of déjà vû. It wasn't too long ago they were all gathered in a hotel – well, without Canary, Amane, and Kalluto last time – because one of them ran off in bad temperament. About four months ago, when Alluka told Killua she and Nanika wanted to travel alone, the scene was similar. Except, that time, everyone had urged Gon to chase after Killua alone, rather than offering help. How much had changed in that amount of time?

All of them are willing to support Killua to the end: Bisky, his Nen master; Palm, his second best friend; Ikalgo, his other secondbest friend; Alluka, his brutalized and sequestered sister; Kalluto, his previously absent, then vengeful youngest brother; Canary, his protector throughout his childhood, and Amane, whose acquaintance he had just made. By the looks on their faces, no one seems unwilling to go to great lengths to see this thing through to the end.

Overwhelmed by their presence, Killua remarks, "Thanks, you guys." He really means it, and everyone is surprised by the earnesty in his tone, the bashfulness in his cheeks and large-eyed, boyish stare. There are tears causing his heart to swell with gratitude for them all. "If any of you guys have any idea where Gon might be, I'd love your help. But I think this is something I have to do alone. He always did for me."

Ikalgo sighs as his head drops, his tentacles rising in a shrug. "How did I know you were going to say that?"

Killua gives the octopus an apologetic half-smile, crooking his brow. Catching the disbelief in Ikalgo's voice, he knows Ikalgo had the same feeling as Killua not long ago. "We won't run away this time. I promise. At least, not without telling you guys first."

Taking in a deep breath through his nostrils, Bisky plants her fists on the hips of her bowl-bottom dress. Those magenta-colored eyes bore into Killua as his teacher once again. "All right. Then, go. But whatever happens, know that we're here to back you up. Don't either of you forget that." All around her, the others nod in concurrence.

Once again, Killua feels overwhelmed by their support, and tries to contain his smile as tears well in his eyes. "Thank you, guys. We'll be back before you know it."

Surreptitiously wiping his eyes as he turns to leave, Killua is stopped by Ikalgo running in front of him.

"Ah, Killua."

Killua looks down at him, and the others wait for what he has to say.

"In regard to where Gon may be, I think I might have a clue. Will you come closer?" Glancing at the others, Ikalgo motions for Killua to bend over. Crouching down to the octopus's height, Killua turns his head to allow Ikalgo to cuff a tentacle and whisper in his ear.

"It's just a hunch, but based on how, ehm, lost he's seemed the last few days, as you've been talking with your family and such, he's probably doing everything he can to blow off some steam and distract himself. I'm not sure where that would be, but… I'm sure you can figure it out."

"Got it. I have a few ideas where I can find him."

"Alright."

Killua stands and heads toward the door, giving them a last nod before disappearing on the other side.

As the door shuts behind him, Bisky watches the octopus reproachfully. "Why did you have to whisper to say that?"

"Yeah, everyone heard you," Palm agrees.

Sticking his face the opposite direction in the air, Ikalgo crosses two tentacles over his squishy body. "What? It was a talk between men. You wouldn't understand."

Faces construing in confusion and disgust, Bisky, Palm, Canary, Amane, Alluka, and Kalluto look at him.

Spinning around, sweating at the women's (and Kalluto's) fury, he stammers, "Wh-what?! You've all had your own touching moments with Killua and Gon these past six months… where am I supposed to fit in?!"

. . .

Running through the streets with a renewed energy in his veins, Killua searches giftshops, arcades, and gyms for Gon. With every hour that passes, every step that he takes, moments of Gon's face from the last six months stream through Killua's mind.

His large, amber eyes shifting nervously when they'd first met in the teahouse in Jappon, furtively glancing at Killua's aged face, a light pinkness to his cheeks. The clueless brightness in Gon's eyes as he stared ahead, walking in an abandoned, crumbling part of a town in Jappon. Unaware of Killua's internal struggle whether to reach out and touch his hand, Gon looked back at him with all the brightness in the world as he spoke to Killua.

On the cliffside where they donned yukata for the Japponian festival, Gon's quietly peaceful gaze fixated on the splashes of fireworks that erupted in the sky as he sat beside his best friend; the first sunset they watched together after leaving Jappon, when Killua hadn't known where they stood emotionally; the wind dancing around Gon's wiry, raven hair, his copper skin gleaming in the sunlight. The moisture that gathered on Gon's skin when they were traversing a forest together, side-by-side, those amber eyes no longer hidden, focused on some impossible, unseen goal – reeling often to ensure Killua was behind him every step of the way, like long ago, before the war…

The emptiness that had consumed Gon the first time he saw Killua murder all those men in the seaport, staring up at Killua with blood-stained cheeks, crumpled to his knees. The devilish curve of his brow as he laid on top of him in the forest, having chased him through the morning mist. Gon's unsteadiness and fear when he first started asking questions in the beachside grotto, where Killua sat alone against the cold, awakening from his nightmares, distant from his friend and the ensuing storm.

The rage in Gon's haggard and bent over figure as his fists trembled against the countertop of an airship, washed out, reminding Killua of when he was unreachable. Not long after, the shyness in Gon's eyes when he clasped Killua's hands in the hollow light of the airship hallway, hoping for something more…

The pity in his face – the lax curve of his eyebrows and slightly parted lips – when Killua awoke on the beachside and murdered all the Needlemen. And then, exhausted and caked in blood, he saw Killua fall to his knees. Gon's shock when Killua hovered over him with a clawed hand in the air on the beach surrounded by the burning airship wreckage, his face illuminated by the flames. Gon's panic when Killua left him hanging on the train after he asked about his family, and his tender endearment as Killua lay beside him on the bed, fingering his side. Gon's disarmed daze as Killua massaged him on the snowy banks across the border of Sahelta, and his nervous earnest as he confessed in the hotel, waiting with bated breath for Killua's answer. The calculating fear and panic in his rapt eyes as he watched Killua and Illumi fight, and Gon's unconscious, battered body in the Zoldyck dungeons. The last few days, when they laid side-by-side in bed, saying nothing, admiring each other anew. The devious smirk that lit his eyes as he searched for whatever way to make Killua tick, bend to his will – or when he was overwhelmed and unable to look Killua in the face, his face a deep shade of magenta, lips ajar. And afterward, Gon's tired but peaceful face taking up his entire view…

All of it passes before Killua's eyes, along with murals of the more distant past that mirror the events, reverberating through his mind. After all that –

As Killua runs, he feels himself growing desperate, and his head bows as he grits his teeth. All that – and still, this?! Where could you be, Gon?

The needle, the days they had spent together after Killua rescued him from the Zoldycks, the nights laying in each other's arms – what was he missing? Which Gon from his memories was the Gon that Killua had yet to fully grasp, to the point that he would actively avoid him?

Footsteps slowing to a halt on an empty sidewalk in a corner of the city, Killua bends over, trying to catch his breath. The sun is starting to set, and he's been running all day.

Tracing back through Ikalgo's and Alluka's words on Gon's whereabouts in his mind, Killua checks his surroundings. Something catches his attention in the alley across the road. A closer look is shielded by the intense reflection of the sun's light in a shop window, so he doesn't pursue it now.

Speaking aloud in frustration, Killua wrings his hands through his snowy white hair. "Aahg, c'mon, Gon, where are you?! Do you really not want me to find you that badly?!"

After another moment, Killua notices how few people are outside now. Rush hour is over. So, turning his focus inward, Killua grasps the essence of his Nen. He feels the aura leaving his pores. The palpable, heavy Transmuter quality of it in the air around him. If he had to describe it as a color, he would say it was pastel pink and dark ocean blue at the same time, the two merging and unmerging until they were nearly imperceptible from one another.

As for Gon's…

Unable to produce any En of his own, only the cotton candy-like fluffiness of these colors directly around Killua is "his," but he can stretch his senses elsewhere, such as when detecting bloodlust or other aura undisguised by Zetsu.

In the vast web of bodies around him – pedestrians crossing the road, bikers on the sidewalks, children reaching to clasp their parents' hands, dogs barking at passersby, insects flying through the air, adults with briefcases exiting high-risers to conclude their 9-to-5 – Killua searches out one. The one aura he had come most familiar with these past six years, but especially six months. The one he knows and loves most.

A few miles from him to the northeast, a bright, bulging, and a little unkempt golden-brown aura festers at the entrance of a building. Aura seeps out of it uncontrollably due to losing his Nen and Silva's invasion. Currently, it vacillates with strong emotions, feeling more dangerous and lamenting than normal. Still, the aura is considerably more contained than anything remotely near his rage at Neferpitou in the Chimera Ant palace, when Killua found a middle-aged Gon in the dark forest standing over naught but a blue bloody pool of flesh.

There.

Killua senses Gon enter the building, and he opens his eyes, returning to his own surroundings. Before Killua can take a full step forward, however, a hooded figure blocks his path. Watching in bemusement as a wrinkly hand raises to pull the grey hood back, a mushroom of white, snowy hair reveals itself to Killua. The old man's purple-greyish eyes are unamused as ever as the elderly Zoldyck views the young heir with his calm dispassion.

"Long time no see, Killua."

. . .

Back in the hotel, Kalluto sits on a couch near the coffee table across from the others. Chin sunken far into his torso, one arm sticking straight up on the armrest beside him, his back is essentially on the bottom cushion of the couch. The others have been playing card games for the last six hours, and he can't take it anymore.

Standing with a roar of frustration, Kalluto yells, "Nhg! How can you guys just sit here and wait for things to happen?! Aren't you bored of playing this stupid game?!"

Blinking at him, a little unnerved at the young Zoldyck's outburst, knowing the paper storm he was capable of brewing, the others freeze midair with cards in hand. Seeing no one has any intention of answering him, Kalluto moves toward the suite's private kitchen, feet slapping against the ground as he goes.

"Whatever. I'm gonna find something to eat."

Separated by a wall away from the others, Kalluto bangs through cupboards and the refrigerator for anything of consequence. All he sniffs out is a cup of yogurt in the refrigerator. He reaches inside to pull it out, and when he closes the refrigerator door, he jumps to see Alluka standing behind it.

"Oh, what the –?!" Well aware of the amount of power she possesses – it knocked him out instantaneously not more than a day ago – he tries not to let his uneasiness show. Settling back into a neutral, bored expression, he cracks open the lid of the yogurt and brings it to his lips.

"What is it?" he asks.

"Nothing," Alluka answers, shrugging her shoulders. "You seemed bored, and to be honest, I kinda was too. So I thought I'd join you." Sitting beside Kalluto in one of the high-legged chairs at the counter, Alluka rests her chin in her curled fingers, watching him and smiling. Reluctantly, Kalluto takes the seat next to her. Holding the yogurt to his lips, he watches her with half-lidded pink eyes.

After a moment of silence, Kalluto asks, "Aren't you going to say anything?"

Her smile fades into a confused look. "Do you want me to say something?"

"Ah, no, it's just, you followed me over here, so I'm not really sure what your intention was unless you wanted to talk to me about something."

Alluka continues looking confused. She does remember that Killua wanted her to talk to him about something – but there would be plenty of time for that later. Perking up again, she says, "Should I need a reason to want to spend time with my brother?"

A little embarrassed at that, Kalluto tries to hide his blush by sipping his yogurt. Finally taking the plastic yogurt cup from his lips, he gazes into it. Its strawberry filling is nearly gone now. Licking his lips, he says, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

There's a long pause, in which Kalluto glances momentarily up at her, only to look back down at the plastic cup. Finally figuring out what he wants to say, he says, "Mom and dad… they always told us to stay away from the outside world, and they especially condemn you and Killua for abandoning us… Well, mostly Killua, to be honest. They hardly acknowledge you exist. But when they do, they call you a…" He trails off, not sure if he should say it.

"A 'thing'? Yeah, I'm aware."

"But it's not just that," Kalluto says forcefully, almost interrupting her. He's bolder knowing that he isn't giving her news. "In all our younger photos, you look… different. Like…" Kalluto gulps. "Like a boy. And our parents call you that too." After saying it, he turns paler.

Looking down at her nails, Alluka says nothing for a time. Somehow, she knew she would be confronted by this sooner or later. After a moment, during which Kalluto watches her very closely, she speaks in a subdued tone. "Yeah. I did look like a boy back then." Looking at Kalluto, she declares, "Now that I'm away from them, though, I don't have to hide it anymore, and they won't make fun of me for it. So, the me that you saw in those pictures, the me our parents talk about, or the 'thing' our parents think I am, it's not just them misunderstanding something. It's them not accepting that there are other ways of being in the world than those they deem necessary. Nanika, my gender, and outsiders of the Zoldyck Family whom they say have insignificant lives – we all exist apart from what mom and dad think or say. Just because they say it, it doesn't make it true, Kalluto."

Like earlier that day when he spoke to Killua, Kalluto sees the sheen in her crystal blue eyes, a kind of authenticity and awareness of the world that he can't yet grasp. He wants to know more. "So then, when you say you had to 'hide it'… what do you mean?"

"Hide my true self. Because I'm not a boy, I'm a girl. And Nanika is a part of me whether you think she's dangerous or not. She's not! She just needs to be treated with care. She always thought she had to grant wishes for people to get them to like and accept her – for the longest time, I thought so too. But then Big Brother showed us that we didn't have to try to appease other people for them to accept who we are… After he tried to lock Nanika away himself."

Surprised at that, Kalluto watches her in awe. "Appease other people…"

"Mhm?"

Kalluto's face is hidden by his long, black wavy hair. Head bowed, he clutches the sides of the high-legged chair, the plastic yogurt cup left on the counter. In a small voice, he says, "But if that's true, then… why don't I don't feel like a boy either…?"

This takes Alluka and Nanika aback.

His pink eyes glance at her, strewn up and shy. "Mother always dressed me up like a doll when I was little. I didn't exactly hate it, but… I've felt really confused about my identity for as long as I can remember. I don't really feel comfortable calling myself a boy now. But I don't really feel comfortable calling myself a girl either. I'm not…"

Alluka regains her bearings, and placing a hand on her younger sibling's shoulder, she smiles warmly. "Then you might not be a boy or a girl."

Initially frightened by the implication, Kalluto whips their head up to her, only to see the warmth in her expression. Suddenly, they feel a lot more comfortable – not just around their sister, but in life. Existing.

"Let me know when you figure it out, 'kay?"

"You mean I don't have to know?" Kalluto asks, the words harrowing in their throat.

"Of course not. It took me a while to figure out what Nanika and I wanted to do."

Kalluto's head drifts to the side as their head swirls with thoughts, trying to decipher their feelings on the spot. But there are too many. Alluka is right, so they simply nod. "Right…"

Right then, Bisky walks into the kitchen to grab a can of booze from the fridge. Taking a giant swig, she makes a refreshed sound, wiping the alcohol from her lips with the laced handkerchief in her pocket. "It's starting to get dark out there."

Alluka nods. "I know. I hope Killua comes back soon."

Seeing the unabashed, sincere worry in her voice and tone for their older brother, Kalluto feels surer of what she said. Inside, something feels resolved.

. . .

"Grandpa…"

The sun sinks farther into the horizon as the Zoldyck heirs stand three feet apart from each other on an unassuming sidewalk. A generation apart in the middle of a random city in the Mimbo Republic where anyone can see them, such a scenario was unthinkable to the long-time assassination veteran, having witnessed his father and grandfather before him. How the family had changed.

"Killua. Long time no see," his gravelly voice greets flatly. There's a genuine familiarity in his tone, one that Killua recalls from his childhood. Out of everyone in the Zoldyck Family, other than Alluka who was locked away, Zeno was the only family member Killua could confide in with some of his troubles. Of course, it's no coincidence that he's approaching Killua in the outside world only now after Illumi's death.

Saying nothing, Killua glowers at him. They were long past full betrayal at this point. Killua doesn't expect any words of comfort from his grandfather. Hardening his heart, Killua prepares to hear whatever story the old man cooked up to try to get him to return to the estate, or worse.

"The look in your eye has changed from the last time I saw you. Again," Zeno says whimsically. "How long has it been since I last saw you?"

"Three years," Killua answers shortly, barely moving his lips. "In East Gorteau. At the Chimera Ant palace."

"Indeed."

There's a long pause between them, during which a bird caws in the trees. Killua knew Zeno was following them a few days ago when they were trying to coax Kalluto out of hiding, but when they weren't confronted, he had expected his mother or father to come after them first instead. Probing the area for other familiar auras, Killua tries to pretend his attention is only on his grandfather.

"I came alone," Zeno assures him, taking a step forward. "I made sure Silva and Kikyo stayed at home so they wouldn't interfere. How's Kalluto?"

"Fine." Killua takes a step back, not sure if he believes him. When he checks the old man's aura, though, there is nothing tainted about Zeno's Transmuter quality. Aura flows around him like water in a river: harsh, yet serene. Either Zeno is a masterful liar, or he hasn't had to lie to anyone in years. Probably both, figures Killua.

Seeing Killua is on-guard, Zeno stops at the one step. Hands folded behind his back like always, the sign on his front is hidden by the grey cloak around his shoulders. "Killua… how long are you going to run away from us?"

"For as long as it takes," he answers impulsively, but quickly realizes it isn't true. Now that Kalluto is somewhat neutralized, what is he going to do? Surely, he can't wait for his mother, father, and Milluki to ambush them first. Doing so would invite disaster. "Always have the upper hand by striking first from the shadows," Illumi told him. "If they land the first hit in a surprise attack, the fight is already over, and you should run away. You can't let anyone know your identity, or else they'll use it against you. Remember that, Killu."

…I won't forget, he answers in the present, unsure what he said at the time – or of how many times Illumi gave that piece of advice. Was it when he was listening during one of their combat training sessions? Was it an echo in the back of his mind as lightning coursed through his body, shot his nerves? He doesn't know.

Once he makes sure Gon, Alluka, and the others were safe, he would need to return to the Zoldyck Estate and face his parents directly. He can't keep running and hope they will simply fade away. The last six years had proven that doesn't work. Whether he should face them alone after all the chastisement he'd given Gon about not shouldering burdens alone… remains yet to be seen.

Zeno's voice is sentimental when he speaks again, and in his wrinkly eyes, Killua senses the truth in his words. "You always were a special boy. It breaks my heart to see you hate us so much now."

Killua hadn't expected him to say it so bluntly, and his guard relaxes a little, feeling a sense of what used to be. When him and the old man would sit behind one of the abandoned training arenas on the estate, discussing life at home and abroad, cracking jokes, eating unpoisoned candies. His grandfather liked the extremely sour ones, lemon drops and sour worm gummies. Killua, on the other hand, liked the extremely sweet ones, chocolates and taffies. Sometimes, they would try exchanging candies and complain about the other's taste in candy, pushing each other around, or they would search out new candies to try to get a kick out of something together – like the cinnamon hard candies that left both of them tear-eyed, though the old man tried to hide it, being the master assassin he was. Since Killua was destined to be the next heir, Zeno would often ask Killua what he thought about the state of the family and his life – and Zeno was the only one who asked. Killua divulged how crazy he thought his mother was in her techniques, how stupid Milluki was in his outbursts, how creepy Illumi could be, how distant Kalluto was – how, when he was heir, he would banish all of them to separate areas of the estate – or across the world to get them out of his hair. He hardly spoke about his father, not knowing much about him. Now, Killua assumes that everything he told Zeno back then was information that he passed on to Silva, but… that couldn't be further from the truth.

The crafty old man speaks. "I do wish you would come home."

"Grandpa… you should know I can't do that."

Zeno gives him a long stare, seeing the unspoken apology in Killua's eyes – but also his resolve to his position.

"I know I let you down," Killua says. "I was the chosen heir, and I let that go to waste. I disappointed you – all of you. I didn't –"

Zeno holds up a wrinkly hand, silencing Killua. It hurts more than screaming insults in his face like Milluki would – more than trying to convince him things weren't that bad and for him to home like his mother would – it hurts more than the quiet, passive aggressive denial of his position like his father. In that one motion was Zeno's recognition, and in that way, his respect. His polite, complete and utter refusal of Killua's perspective.

Nothing – no apology, action, or rationalization can rectify what Killua has done. It was something Zeno had worked his entire life for, something that his father, and his father's father, and his son had worked for. "Killua, I hope you found what you're looking for." The old man turns away from him then. The orange sunset transforms into dusk, masking his grandfather's enigmatic presence before Killua's eyes. "Maybe Illumi had it coming, but you've unleashed something within Silva that even I cannot quell."

With that, the old man is gone, dissipating like leaves blowing in the wind. Killua is left alone on the sidewalk in the orange-purple light, wondering if he hallucinated the entire thing. It's like the old man was never there at all.

More paranoid than before, Killua worries the entire conversation was meant to distract him long enough for Silva to abduct Gon for his own gains. Not wanting to reach out to Gon at the building in the northeast where Killua sensed him earlier, out of fear that Silva or Zeno are watching and would follow him and get there first, Killua dashes in that direction. His feet carry him faster and faster at the panic coursing through him, Zeno's words of farewell echoing within.

When Killua turns the corner on the street, he finds, much to his irritation, that it is in fact an arcade where Gon's been hiding. Huge, bulging letters on the outside burst with color, iridescent in the fading light. The lights of arcade machines inside are visible through the windows. Too impatient and antsy to wait any longer, Killua reaches out with his breath to see if Gon's aura is still inside. As he runs toward it, tentative relief rushes over him, sensing that it is.

Busting through the door, the cashier at the front in a red cap and apron says some words of welcome only to be ignored as Killua rushes to the back. He sees Gon's wiry-haired silhouette against the screen of a large racer arcade machine, and Killua's relief hits him fourfold. Stopped now, Killua walks over to him. Gon lets go of the racer wheel in a rage at getting fifth place and steps out of the pink plastic chair attached to the machine when he spots Killua coming toward him.

"Ah –"

Before Gon can say a word of explanation, clearly panicked to have been found so late in the day, Killua's arms are wrapped around him in a forceful hug.

They stay silent, and foolishly, it only just hits Gon how worried Killua must have been all day, what with the Zoldycks chasing them, and dealing with everything else. Killua was never this clingy, and it simultaneously warms and stabs Gon's heart to have him so open about it rather than trying to brush it off with a crass remark.

Gon rests his arms in consolation around Killua, whose face is buried in the crook of his neck. Over Killua's shoulder, Gon sees the cashier peer around the wall to look at them, and Gon sighs. Few others remain in the arcade this late on a Tuesday night. Gon's attention turns back onto Killua when he starts trembling and speaks, the tears evident in his voice.

"We need to talk. I feel like we haven't been communicating that much over the last few days, since I killed Illumi. I'm sorry for being so caught up in everything that I didn't pay attention to what you were going through."

Gon steps back from Killua, whose face is wet with tears and embarrassment as he looks up at Gon. Hands still on him, Gon lifts his fingers to Killua's chin, then weaves them through Killua's fluffy white bangs. Eventually, the reserve in his amber gaze fades, and a smidgen of the familiar brightness returns. "I should be apologizing to you."

Killua stays quiet for a moment, until he cries, "No, I'm the one who wasn't paying attention –!"

"Killua, I ran away when I shouldn't have at such a dangerous time. It's me who should be apologizing for making you worry. Again."

"Still, I feel like you wouldn't have if I didn't –!"

"No, Killua! I should apologize because I was the one who was stupid!"

"But it wasn't for no reason! You wouldn't have run away just to be stupid!"

"Killua, it doesn't matter! I –!"

"Ahg, we're never gonna get anywhere this way!" Killua bursts, ready to smack Gon for constantly trying to divert the blame from him.

Similarly annoyed, they face each other with jagged shoulders. Gon bears his teeth, pointing at the voyeuristic cashier behind the corner. "You! Which one of us is wrong?!"

The cashier shrugs wildly. "Gee, dude, I don't know. I don't get paid enough to do couples' counseling!"

For some reason, hearing a random stranger say it – "couple" – Gon stops dead in his tracks. Killua sees the confused blush spreading from Gon's cheeks as the man laughs, and he shoves Gon to snap him out of his stupor. "Idiot. Just what are you thinking?"

Gon looks back at Killua. That devilish smirk, how dashing he looks in a plaid blue jacket, white T-shirt, and black shorts, which sit snugly over his slender but muscular frame – he can't help himself. Taking Killua by the hand, the other becomes embarrassed, realizing what he's trying to do in front of a total stranger. Killua bars Gon's lips one foot away from him with one arm. "Whoa! Hey! Not here! Cut that out!"

Gon gives him an exaggerated sad expression to which Killua responds by using the hand they have clasped to drag them both outside. "Thanks for entertaining my friend, pops!" Killua calls behind him. He leaves a hefty tip on the countertop – meaning hefty – and suddenly the cashier thinks he really could be getting paid enough to do couples' counseling after all.

Outside, Killua leads Gon back toward the hotel in the early night air.

"Killuaaa," Gon whines at his somewhat aloof attitude as he leads Gon through the street. He feels a pang in his chest. Maybe what he felt at the cashier's words was just a farce. "Am I still just your friend?"

At this, Killua's hand falls from Gon's. Those sapphire eyes turn back, and hold him in a fight-or-flight regard. "'Just my friend'? Gon…" Killua walks toward him. At Gon's downcast expression, his shame at even asking such a question, Killua wraps one arm around his shoulder. "We're best friends – and more than that. It doesn't have to be one or the other… Right?"

This seems to make Gon happier, and he smiles a little, face lifting. He'd been thinking the same thing.

Seeing and feeling Gon's lack of energy, Killua says solemnly, "Now… I want you to tell me what happened today."

At that, Killua senses the fear in that amber swirl, and he knows Gon is weighing the pros and cons of lying in this situation. Even though he's a terrible liar, Killua thinks amusedly.

"If you can't tell me everything, that's okay," Killua assures. "Just tell me everything you can."

Pulling Killua into a quick, tight embrace, Gon squeezes him. Before he can break down in Killua's arms for what feels like the millionth time that week, he takes Killua's hand. They continue to walk through the street.

There's a pregnant silence before Gon starts to speak, and as it grows darker, Killua feels himself check every corner. Sweat beads on his temples, his attention shifting between high places and low. The hand in his suddenly feels heavier, and he's more urgent to get to safety by every minute that passes. Whether slit reptilian blue, scarred rose, or large onyx eyes watch them from the shadows, Killua doesn't know.

I'm sure many of you are wondering what Zeno's true intentions are, since, as we know, him and Silva have been pretty close for the last few chapters. Well, I'm glad you asked… I'm excited to see how the ending unfolds as well! :3 (Listen, I have things more planned now than I did before, but I still just kinda go wherever the story takes me.)

Now that I was finally able to get my glasses prescription updated, my eyes aren't bleeding whenever I look at a screen anymore. A lot has changed since the last update, leaving me feeling like it's been ages since I wrote this fic. I just want to say that I support the BLM movement, and I wish everyone (but especially Black LGBTQ folks) a happy Pride Month. Maybe that feels out of place to put here, and I usually refrain from explicitly stating my beliefs on FFN – I would rather my writing do the talking than personal statements, honestly. But, for something this important, I figure the more places there are such statements of solidarity, the better.

To my lovely anonymous reviewers, thank you so much for your kind words! To Echo, I'm so happy that the Kikyo/Silva backstory was interesting, and that you got the poison reference, haha. To owowowo, I've honestly worried sometimes that I put too much thought into the characters' development, so I'm glad it comes across as fluid and not shoehorned in! It seems the word counts keep getting longer and longer with these later chapters. (Normally the opposite happens because I rush my endings out of impatience – but no! I won't let that happen this time!) Thank you for the well wishes! To Juvia302, yes, we shall see how Kalluto plays a part in the end of the story~ I think Gon has needed to show his feelings for a while too, but until next time. (Lol that feels cheap, doesn't it?) I always think I'm gonna get around to certain things in a chapter and end up getting around to completely different things. Usually not a bad thing, this chapter as an example, but dang, it leaves me feeling disoriented. I hope it doesn't for you guys! (And this is why I say I plan but not really.) And of course, thank you to Tibu, I'm love you, you complete me, ladksfjlaskdfjal but seriously thanks for your kind words and support every time.

Thank you, everyone, again, for your continued interest in this story. I never expected to reach over 300 reviews! My hope is that my fics can offer some relief for anyone going through a tough time right now.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and will leave your thoughts below~