Chapter 28
As the time passes, Yue-lung finds out that leading the Syndicate starts to comes naturally to him. At one of the board meetings, he officially introduces Sing as his future right hand, despite knowing that the council members won't be thrilled by his plans in this regard, as they will have to accept yet another kid at the top of the organization. Yet, he can't imagine anyone else as his most trusted man, and not only because of Sing's undying loyalty.
The longer they are together, the more Yue-lung becomes aware of Sing's great intelligence and thirst for knowledge. Sing absorbs new information without any trouble and, on top of it, is pretty versatile: he's both good at science and social studies, while his language skills that he's pretty much improved over the last few years allow him to have substantive discussions and write neat essays. He graduates from the high school in just two years - just like Yue-lung did earlier - which gives him such a boost that he decides to continue his education. He begins studying political science at the university and soon takes a major in management, too.
The downside is that he spends much fewer time at home, but it's not like Yue-lung has nothing to do, either. Even if they no longer make sex like rabbits - that is, around the clock - their bond is still very strong and Yue-lung knows they are the most important ones for each other. And in those moments together, nothing can stop them from showing affection to each other, either in the most passionate or perfectly innocent manner. Like, Sing may sit down behind Yue-lung's back in the morning and comb his hair. After coming home, he often hugs him from behind to just hold in his arms without a word. When they go to the restaurant, he covers Yue-lung's hand with his own, stroking it gently with a thumb. And when he falls asleep while studying in the evening, Yue-lung puts a blanket over his shoulders, then rests his elbows on the desk and only looks at him.
He doesn't want to think how his life would have looked like if Sing Soo-ling hadn't appeared in it. Even if he isn't grateful to his fate for anything else, he is deeply grateful for Sing, who is an excessive compensation for all previous torture he experienced.
Once in a while, they manage to find time and break away from their duties, going somewhere to the far end of the world to be alone together. They usually rent a place under assumed names and forget about everything else, enjoying the holiday. In Hawaii, they put on the Bermuda shorts and flowery shirts, walk on the beaches and observe spectacular eruptions of Mauna Loa. In Okinawa, they wear kimono and snorkel, admiring the reefs and schools of fish in great number of colors. In Lapland, they cuddle up in the ice hotel and rave over the northern lights during perpetual night. Soo-ling loves it when Yue-lung takes off his suit and burden of responsibility and turns into an ordinary person, although he will never be ordinary to him. Far from home, where nobody knows them, they can walk the streets of the towns and cities, taste the local food and pretend to be the tourists like everybody else. Sometimes, when Yue-lung is in a particularly mischievous mood, he puts on a dress, pins up his hair or lets them loose and plays a woman. Despite the passing of time, he can still fool everybody with his beauty... and Soo-ling wonders if it should disturb him that he's happy to be able to walk holding hands with him, as if saying to the world, 'Look, it's my beloved.'
One March, when the spring is just starting in New York, they fly to Cancun, where they rent a house with pool and give in to their normal holiday routine. It's noon, and they are lying in the garden under the sun umbrellas, when suddenly the head that Soo-ling hoped to never see again appears over the high - but apparently not too high - fence.
"Have I come at a bad time?" Blanca asks, raising his straw hat.
Soo-ling stares at him with a frown, trying to understand what the former bodyguard is doing here. He turns to Yue-lung, but his lover doesn't even stir; he's sleeping on his sun lounger and breathing evenly. In the end, Soo-ling points at the garden door, and the guest enters the premises. Seeing him after such a long break, Soo-ling is once more surprised by the guy's enormous size... but no longer overwhelmed by it, like he was the first time they met. Now the height difference is probably some two or three inches.
"I can't believe you found us here," he grumbles, getting up.
Blanca raises his brows. "You didn't know of my visit?" he asks. "Young master invited me here."
Soo-ling suppresses a sigh. "I had no idea, he probably forgot to tell me... Well, you're here already."
Blanca smiles kindly and hands him a paper bag with a bottle sticking out of it and giving a delicious smell. "Some good wine and local specialties," he says. "It's good to see you again, Sing."
And Soo-ling realizes he could actually say the same. Long ago, Blanca crossed him pretty much, but the passage of time made his grudge grow weak or even vanish completely. Maybe growing both in body and soul - and becoming to Yue-lung somebody Blanca could never be - has something to do with it. He was jealous all right.
"Come onto the terrace," he invites the guest, hoping to find a proper set of wine glasses in the house.
Blanca, however, doesn't move from a spot; he's staring at Yue-lung, who is sleeping soundly. It's only after a moment that his eyes return to Soo-ling and he says with appreciation. "Good job. It's the first time I see him asleep, especially during the day."
Soo-ling averts his eyes, aware of the blush on his face. It wasn't even five minutes, and he already wishes he hadn't invited the guy. The two of them really can't spend time together. "We're adults," he mutters with reluctance. "What we do with each other shouldn't interest you."
Blanca gives him an astonished look and then shakes his head. He pulls up a chair. "Sing, I didn't mean that, " he replies warmly and sits down. "Do you remember that some time ago he couldn't sleep when other people were around? He couldn't relax, always sensing danger. He couldn't trust he was safe. A few years ago he would have waked up the moment I appeared behind the fence."
Soo-ling looks at Yue-lung and catches himself thinking it was that way indeed.
"That's why I said, 'Good job'," Blanca continues. "Your merits for his psychological well-being cannot be overestimated. I'm glad you're with him... just like I asked you."
"I didn't do it for you...!" Soo-ling answers with exasperation. "Tell me, 'cause it always made me wonder: why are you so concerned about him though you don't even... like him?"
Blanca gives him a long thoughtful look. "You can't wish someone the best if you don't like them?" he asks in the end. "I thought you, of all people, would be capable of it."
Soo-ling has no idea how to respond to it - doesn't know if he should see it as a compliment or accusation - so he withdraws inside the house to search for the dishes. That's true, he doesn't necessarily need to be fond of somebody; a basic respect for another human being is just enough. After all, there are things one wouldn't wish on their worst enemy. Still, he finds it hard to imagine he could care about somebody he dislikes. Probably.
"I think you only wanted to shift responsibility onto me," he says in the end, returning to the terrace with plates and glasses.
"Or I'm a big fan of you two," Blanca replies with a gentle smile, opening the wine bottle.
Soo-ling refrains from throwing the dishes on the table. He's under the impression that whatever he might say, he's never going to win with that weasel. However, he remains calm and takes out the food from the bag; it's still warm, having been wrapped in an aluminum foil.
"We have lunch!" he calls out, putting the dish - fish steamed with sauce - on the plates.
Yue-lung stretches on his sun lounger and then becomes still again. "I don't want any lunch," he replies in a sleepy voice.
"Fine, that makes more for me... and the guest," Soo-ling adds with less enthusiasm.
This information works at once. Yue-lung sits up and turns in their direction.
"Good morning, young master," Blanca says, waving at him.
"Blanca...!" Yue-lung calls in a surprise, then looks at Soo-ling reprovingly and smoothes out his hair. "Sing, why didn't you wake me? I wanted to groom myself!"
"Whyever should you groom yourself for him? " Soo-ling says reluctantly. "Besides, we're on a holiday. It's time for relax, not stress."
"You don't understand me at all," Yue-lung says with resentment and gets up, adjusting his clothes.
"I sure don't," Soo-ling mutters in reply.
"There's no need to mind me," Blanca says. "As you can see, I'm not wearing any formal attire either," he adds, pointing at his pineapple-patterned shirt. "Please, join us before the food gets cold. I hope you'll find it tasty. Have you eaten tikin xic before? We have some wine, too."
Yue-lung hesitates a moment, but then he pulls up a chair and sits down by the table. However, after sweeping it with a glance, he begins to once more trash Soo-ling. "Why didn't you prepare anything?! I know you can't cook, but you could at least order something! And what are these glasses, haven't I taught you anything? This is white wine, not red! And why didn't you though of offering us water to drink?" Then he turns to Blanca with a cordial smile. "Thank you for your consideration. I can always count on you."
"You forgot to inform me that we would have a guest," Soo-ling says between his teeth, feeling as if he's going to boil. "The next time you complain to me just make sure there's a reason."
Yue-lung's expression is just priceless, and it makes his anger vanish. To tell the truth, Soo-ling has long since been unable to be mad with him. Blanca is clearly suppressing a giggle.
"In that case, I apologize," Yue-lung says in a serious voice, still staring at him. Soo-ling almost drops his fork; he didn't expect that reaction. "I forgot indeed."
They stare at each other in silence for a moment, to be interrupted by Blanca discreetly clearing his throat in the end. "You should eat while it's still warm," the guy says.
Yue-lung lifts his glass. "First let's have a toast. To our reunion after years," he suggests.
"Is it some kind of class reunion?" Soo-ling asks under his breath, taking his own glass. "What next? We're going to talk about how our lives turned out and brag about our achievements?"
"Good idea," Yue-lung praises him and turns to Blanca again, "You first."
"I'm going to have my debut novel, 'The Caribbean Incident', published this week," Blanca says with a smile of embarrassment. "It took me three years to finish it. It's a psychological thriller."
"I've completed three semesters at the university... ah, a double major, by the way... I was also officially introduced into the board of the Lee Syndicate," Soo-ling mutters, wanting to be somewhere else.
"I picked up the hottest guy in NY. Well, actually, it's him who picked up me. And we've been happy together for years," Yue-lung announces merrily, and Soo-ling feels like banging his head on the table and, at the same time, embracing and kissing him. In the end, he doesn't do either.
"That sounds very good," Blanca says, still smiling. "My sincerest congratulations."
The moments of holiday are rare, but very satisfying... and needed. Soo-ling doesn't spare himself; he gives his best, combining the double major and work for the syndicate. He knows that Yue-lung has high expectations for him, and he doesn't want to disappoint him... especially that he knows himself he has it in him. Only sometimes he asks himself if it's really worth it, like that time when he fell asleep before sex for the first time, waiting for Yue-lung to return from the bathroom, or when he was forced to stay at the university because of the study project despite Yue-lung and him having the plans to go to the restaurant after a longer while.
Apparently, adult life contained such things as well. Still, he doesn't complain only clenches his teeth because he wants to disburden Yue-lung in leading the organization. Even if Yue-lung doesn't show it, after all those years Soo-ling can see him being fatigued and worried when he encounters some problems. Moreover, he's aware that many don't approve their bond - or, rather, their loyalty to each other - so he wants to distinguish himself and prove to everybody that he's more than just Yue-lung's bodyguard. He hopes that once he graduates and is able to dedicate himself fully to his work for the Lee Syndicate, then all doubts about his usefulness will vanish.
Over the years, his feelings for Yue-lung only intensify. It's no longer that crazy infatuation - when one wants to kiss the ground his beloved walks on and is ready to die for his single smile - only deep devotion and affection, and happiness to be together. Although, when he thinks about it, he comes to the conclusion that nothing really changed. He still has that impression he was born only to meet Lee Yue-lung and give him his heart. Forever.
"I devoured your soul," Yue-lung says one day when Soo-ling shared that thought with him.
"I'd let myself be devoured by you thousand times more," Soo-ling replies, his face pressed to Yue-lung's neck.
Yue-lung smiles softly and keeps playing with his hair in a gentle manner. "I devoured your soul," he repeats. "Not only took your virginity and twisted you... You should get married and have children. I won't bear you any, even if I wanted to."
"You didn't twist me, so stop talking crazy," Soo-ling says, raising his head and looking at him with a frown. "Don't you worry about my children."
Yue-lung says no more, so they lie in silence for a longer while, relishing the intimacy. Soo-ling is trying not to think of what he's just heard; he knows that, if necessary, he can father even five kids, but he can't imagine their mother to ever be what Yue-lung is to him: half of that devoured soul.
And then Yue-lung, never stopping to stroke his head, speaks again, "Sing... I plan to entrust NY to you and return to Hong Kong," he says in a soft voice.
And Soo-ling is under the impression like he's falling in the abyss without air. He realizes how naive it was on his part to believe in 'forever'... and he thinks he can understand the pessimists for the first time in his life.
When one expects the worst, the reality can't possibly be so painful.