A/N: Just a couple of light-hearted / humorous pieces I wanted to put out after the last few dramas.
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Omake for A Powerful Bond:
The Woods Are Alive
"You have to be more romantic, Scott." Jean began her rant. "I heard you cycled through nicknames until you found the one that annoyed Medusa the least."
"She didn't look annoyed." Scott piped in.
Jean ignored him as she continued, "She'll always be a dead lay if you don't put in the effort."
Scott stared at his mutant wife strangely.
"Remind me again how we're both still married but I'll soon marry Medusa with the intent of producing a child?"
Jean shrugged. "The law says to make more mutants, but nobody did bother to specify how many or with whom."
The devil was always in the details, but there were no details to be had when the Quiet Council first convened.
"That sounds very irresponsible. How did that meeting go?"
"Some grandstanding. People waxing poetic." Jean irreverently recalled. "There was supposed to be some deeper, meaningful symbolism to it all but, looking back on it, I think we were all just high."
"High?" Scott tilted his head dubiously. "On what?"
"Krakoa, of course."
"Ah, you mean in a metaphorical sense." Scott nodded in apparent understanding.
"No, no. Look," Jean gestured to their surroundings. It was very green. "Here in this land, well, we're all literally eating, drinking, and breathing Krakoa. A living island that once tried to eat us, even. And nobody finds it strange."
"That's… a fairly disturbing point." Scott slowly understated. "Should we raise an alarm?"
"Do you enjoy getting some with me, Emma, Medusa, Betsy and Kwannon-" and wasn't that romp quite the revelation, "-and Lorna?"
Scott's blush said it all.
"Don't worry. I enjoy shaking the sheets with you, too." Jean nodded happily.
"I love you, Jean." Scott wrapped his arms around his wife.
"I love you, too, Scott." Jean happily sighed. Then, her hands dipped down and gave him a firm squeeze. "And all this pillow talk makes me want to show it."
Scott found his body rapidly responding to Jean's needy gaze. "I'll find us the closest gate."
Jean grinned and appreciated his readiness.
"That's my man." And then, a thought struck her. "Oh, we should see if Medusa wants to join in. I've still got a bit of oil left from whenever Logan's feeling submissive."
"Didn't you just restock last week?" It was quite the massive jar, too.
Jean shrugged again. "He's really been feeling it, lately. But don't worry! I clean my toys regularly."
Huh, Gabriel did complain that their house stinks, but Scott had assumed he was just whining about essentially suffering through house arrest until Medusa came to terms with the Shi'Ar's former mad emperor technically being alive.
"Have you gotten used to it, yet?"
"Plowing definitely uses a different group of muscles." Jean tapped a fist against her lower back like an old woman, feeling a phantom ache from the spot where the bones of her spine met her pelvis. "As I'm sure you'll be reminded shortly." She wagged her brows at him.
Scott shook his head with a smile. "If it pleases my lady…"
Jean giggled. "Save your strength for when we get back to the house, love."
Jean paused in thought before adding.
"And save your mouth, too."
A/N: Krakoans do as Krakoans…do?
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Omake for Baby, It's Cold Outside
Faster Than a Bullet
"Here's that fairytale book I promised, Kori." The young Scott Summers said, showing the hardbound book.
"Wonderful, beloved!" Kori beamed as she floated towards him, emerald eyes tracing his features before settling on the book in his hands as she approached. Warm hands wrapped around his bicep as she looked up at him and asked, "Which is your favorite?"
"I'm not sure. I never thought about it, to be honest." Scott's brows knitted in thought—an act Kori found extremely cute. "Let me see."
Scott opened the book and began scanning the pages.
Kori continued staring up at him before, finally, deciding.
She leaned in and captured his lips.
A/N: Had this image in mind of Kori stealing a kiss while Scott was distracted.
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Omake for Crisis of Infinite Cyclops' Daughters
Politicking
Ruby, the bodyguard assigned to her sister, begrudgingly trailed after the mob of diplomats fawning over the red-haired half-breed.
"Are you feeling tired, Ambassador Scylla?" One dark-skinned woman asked, though Ruby could tell the comment was insincere. No doubt, the diplomat was simply finding her way into the lady's circle. "I wouldn't mind carrying your sister, if you wish, or we could convene in someplace quiet?"
"I feel fine, but thank you for asking." The beautiful half-breed smiled, holding the sleeping Sarah closer against her bosom. Ruby's eye twitched, knowing full-well that Scylla was using their youngest sister as a shield against more malicious instigators. "And, please, my lady-" Ruby almost retched at the saccharine seeping out of Scylla's tongue, "Although I am Ambassador of Krakoa, I am also still in-training. Just call me Scylla."
"Goodness! But how could I be so bold?" The diplomat, however, took the opportunity to intrude into Scylla's circle. The act was seamless, and wouldn't have aroused any suspicion if Ruby hadn't been paying attention. "You are the Captain Commander's daughter—and daughter of Attilan's Queen, no less."
Murmurs of agreement swept through the crowd, but Scylla maintained her graceful smile. "And I love them both dearly, too. As much as they love me."
Ruby's brow twitched again at Scylla's sudden shift in topic.
"But they must be so busy." Another diplomat—an oriental Asian man that stood just a few inches taller than Scylla—pointed out. "I can't imagine how much time they are able to spend with their daughter."
Not very much, Ruby thought, but it wasn't like they didn't have any time, at all.
"Oh, but father and mother always make time." Scylla's eyes fluttered thoughtfully before her gaze settled on the snoring child in her arms. "Especially when it pertains to Sarah's needs."
"Of course!" the dark-skinned diplomat from earlier agreed. "Sarah is so young. She must be so very needy."
Quite the opposite, really. Whether it was her mutation manifesting early or something else entirely, Sarah seemed to always attract goodwill and attention.
"Quite so." Scylla hummed. "Mother and father are always so very grateful whenever help is given."
"Grateful?" Ruby heard a diplomat just outside Scylla's circle whisper to his neighbor.
The gathered crowd seemed to look at each other before, as one, nodding in mutual understanding.
"Oh, but look at the time. Father and mother might become worried if we were gone for too long."
"I'm sure they will understand, Scylla." The dark-skinned diplomat hastily said, before pausing momentarily to smoothen her features, "It is not unusual for diplomats to be unable to adhere to their busy schedules."
"Indeed." The Asian man added, "Most people think our profession is strictly business, but it is also about making friends. I heard you are an avid reader, Scylla?"
"I am, but there are so few books left for me to read in Krakoa." Scylla admitted, concerned.
Ruby once more felt herself retch.
"I know you're still young, so you might not be accustomed to this, but it isn't unusual for diplomats to receive gifts, as well." Their host finally cut in, his eyes glinting at the opportunity. "Shall we continue our discussion while we tour the city? I'm sure Sarah will be famished when she next wakes up, and I do know of just the place to feed her. While we're at it, there is a bookstore not too far, so we may browse while she eats."
"That sounds wonderful. Thank you, ambassador." Scylla turned, locking eyes with her bodyguard. "Ruby, that's alright with you, isn't it?"
Ruby inwardly frowned, knowing she was suddenly put on the spot.
This was supposed to be a simple mission- Scylla was to simply sit in during the global conference, and then return. But now, her half-breed half-sister turned it into a shopping spree as she quickly took advantage of the gathered diplomat's vested interest in raising their country's appeal to Krakoa.
Scylla was definitely making a point, and Ruby bit her inner cheek.
"Definitely, Scylla." Ruby felt like there was sand in her mouth. "It's not like we have anything better to do after this."
"Wonderful!" Scylla beamed innocently before turning to the rest of the international delegates. "Please, lead the way, ambassador."
Ruby inwardly groaned.
She resolved to never force Scylla to train ever again.
Shocking, no-good manipulative nerd!
A/N: Scylla's first appearance in the Crisis 'verse~
Also, if I recalled PAD's X-Factor run correctly, "shock" was Ruby's way of cursing.
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Omake for The Girl Who Stole the Stars
Familial Bonds
Jean's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Kara, is there something you want to tell me?"
The young super girl visibly gulped. "Th-the vegetables were tasty today…?"
"You know I can tell when you're lying." Jean tapped the side of the girl's head. "Don't make me read your mind, little miss. Do I need to ask you again?"
Kara deflated. "But—but I don't want you to get mad at me."
"I'll get mad if you lie, Kara. Worse, I'll get hurt."
"You'll get hurt?"
"Yes." Jean nodded, before giving a mighty pout. "Because it means you don't trust me."
"I trust you!" Kara quickly protested, alarmed.
"Then can you tell me what's bothering you?" Jean knelt down so she was looking up at the little blonde. "You don't usually finish your vegetables by yourself."
There was a clear internal battle raging behind Kara's blue eyes before, finally, she sucked in a deep breath. "Promise you won't get mad, okay?"
"I promise." Jean nodded.
"I—I might have killed someone."
What. "What."
"Th-there was this homeless guy outside when I was playing." Kara stammered, "He was drinking beer, and when I told him he stinks, he threw a bottle at me, so I got angry, so I threw the bottle back at him, but he didn't dodge so it might have cracked on his head."
"Might?"
"Okay, it broke on his head, and then he stopped moving, so I ran back here. It wasn't on purpose, honest!"
Oh, Lord. Kara was only five and she already committed murder. In school grounds, no less!
"Jean?" Kara called, her lower lip quivering in fear. "A-are, are you mad…?"
It was at that point when Jean realized Kara was truly frightened—not by the idea that she might have just murdered someone, but by the possibility that Jean might reject her.
Jean calmed her mind. First things first. "Are you alright? You weren't hurt, were you?"
"N-no…" Kara hesitantly said. "A-are you… mad…?"
Jean shook her head. "I'm in shock. But it sounds like you acted in self-defense." Unfortunately, Kara had a much stronger arm than the average child. Much stronger. "Where is he?"
"He might still be outside."
Jean pondered her statement. Nobody had returned, so, potentially, nobody saw the carcass. She'd have to make an excuse to use Cerebro later to scan for any possible witnesses—and then wipe their minds clean—but maybe she could control the situation.
"Alright." Jean stood up—the abruptness of the act making Kara's eyes widen.
"Don't hate me!" Kara flinched in her seat.
"I don't hate you, Kara."
"But—but you've got this scary look."
Jean cupped her cheek and only then realized her jaw was tight. She shook her head again, mentally telling herself to loosen. "I was just planning what to do, sweetie."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." Jean nodded. "Now, go play with your toys. I just have a little gardening to do."
They had a lot of space to bury a nameless person in their backyard. The Professor didn't even need to know.
It was at that point that a disgruntled Scott walked in. "Oh, hey Kara. Jean."
"Daddy!" Kara yelped before flying into his arms.
"Something wrong?" Jean asked, noticing Scott's disheveled shirt.
"There was this homeless guy that was making a ruckus outside." Scott said. "He pulled out his knives so I might have blasted him into the woods."
"Might?" Ugh. That's where Kara got it.
"Okay, I did." Scott scratched the back of his head. "Speaking of, I'll need to get the shovel."
"What for, daddy?"
"Gardening." Scott nodded his head resolutely.
"Oh, Jean said she was going gardening, too." Kara supplied.
Something itched at the back of Jean's mind. One homeless person finding their way towards the mansion was rare, but not totally unheard of. But two on the same day?
"Scott, what did your attacker look like?"
"He was rather stocky. Not too tall—he was a bit shorter than me even though he looks much older." Scott recalled. "Oh, and he's got dark hair spread at his sides like horns."
"Oh! I saw that person, daddy!" Kara chirped.
Jean palmed her head.
"Everything alright, Jean?"
"Yeah. I just need to talk to the… homeless person."
"But he's dead!" Kara gaped. "Wait, you can talk to ghosts?"
"Don't worry, Kara. I know this person, and he gets better." Jean reassured. "Scott, you won't be needing the shovel."
"Oh. Is he someone from your team?"
Jean sighed. "Something like that. Why don't the two of you freshen up while I handle this?"
Because the last thing she needed was for Logan to go berserk inside the school after getting knocked out twice in one day.
She'd also make sure to give him a stern scolding about how to act around children!
A/N: Er, I definitely have issues with brevity. The joke went on for too long that it became unfunny.
This was from the (Asian?) joke that, if you told your grandma you killed someone, she'd immediately reach for the shovel and ask if you needed help burying the body.
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A/N: That's it for now~ As always, if you liked what you read, please do drop a review!
Until next time~! Stay safe, y'all~!