Chapter Forty-Six: Maybe

Ahsoka didn't know how much restraint she had left in her to keep herself from rolling her eyes. She almost wished for the days from not very long ago when the Rebellion didn't have a centralized base or an official centralized command, and it was all on her to make critical decisions that she informed the rest of High Command of after she'd put her plan into action. Put twelve people in a room, though, and they all had twelve different ideas for how to do something. Sometimes she could find the tolerance to bear the squabbling and disagreements between High Command. Other times she wanted to tell them all to shut up, decide on a course of action, dismiss the meeting, and find something to nurse her headache. She was leaning toward the latter today. What should have been a simple meeting to coordinate smuggling aid to one of their allies devolved into a political debate about how giving that aid might alienate another ally who had bad political relationships with the planet needing aid.

But then they'd imply she was being a dictator. Personally, and perhaps this was Vader rubbing off on her, they could use a little dictatorship in their lives. No wonder the Republic had become corrupt, and Palpatine managed to take over. She decided to allow the rest of High Command to duke out the same arguments one more time before she intervened.

Ahsoka didn't often reminisce about her life pre-Empire, but the debate reminded her of during the Clone Wars when frequently she found herself tuning out the back and forth between the Council and the Senate. Anakin would inevitably notice and then send snarky remarks across their bond, and she'd have to resist the urge to snicker and giggle. Then, they'd both even get tired of that. Finally, Anakin would state an opinion that no one else in the room was brave enough to vocalize to either force them to action, reconvene at a later time, or just dismiss them from the room until the discussion ended.

Feeling fed up and really wanting to take a nap before she had to get on a ship back to Alderaan, she sucked in a breath to intervene only to feel the dimming of something in her mind. Ahsoka took only a few seconds to realize it was from the place she was connected to Vader. A distant presence that she was so used to being there that the dampening of the presence made her feel vulnerable. She frowned and narrowed her eyes. That was… strange.

"Something wrong, General?"

Ahsoka snapped out her thoughts and to save face said, "I just think that doing good and helping people in their time of need shouldn't be a political debate. We won't punish innocent people for differences in ideology between their leaders. Especially when both planets are part of our alliance."

"That's not what the Macargoans are going to think, unfortunately."

"That's their problem then. And it's something Barriss, and I can smooth over if needed. In the meantime, the situation on Murkhana continues to worsen. While there's no way we can assist with a mass planetary migration any time soon, we have the resources thanks to those in our network to aid their people in the meantime. And we will," Ahsoka decided, somewhat absently as she carefully prodded around the cold spot where she could find Vader. Even with their bond submerged in the dark side to hide from the Emperor, even when he'd suffered some kind of punishment at the hands of the Emperor, she never felt this strange dimness. Not wishing to give anyone a chance to bring up anything else, Ahsoka said, "Mon, if you could contact Ordnance and Supply and tell them to get started opening up that supply chain. That was the last issue on the agenda as far as I know. Meeting adjourned."

Ahsoka left the room before anyone could get the chance to call her back and went to her quarters. Contacting Vader by comm could be a hit or miss, but she tried anyway. He didn't answer, but that wasn't out of the norm. He frequently didn't answer his comm when she contacted him and vice versa. Nothing to be concerned about.

She comm'd Sabé on a hunch anyway.

"Diya told me it would only be a matter of time before you called," Sabé said immediately.

Ahsoka didn't even need to ask if she'd been in contact with Vader. That was all she needed to know.

"What happened?"

"Nothing," Sabé stated. "At least, we don't think."

"We?"

"Diya and I."

"How did Diya get involved with something to do with Vader?" Ahsoka asked.

"We both move in the world of assassins, spies, and intelligence. I followed a lead from the Imperial side, and she followed one from the Rebellion side, and we met in between. It was important enough to take to Vader, and she agreed," Sabé asked.

"Why would she agree to take it Vader and not fill me in?"

"You'll have to ask her that question yourself."

Ahsoka would. It was abundantly clear now that Vader had co-opted her lieutenant for something.

"So, what's the problem?" Ahsoka asked.

"Lord Vader went to investigate our intel for himself. It was supposed to be a day mission. In and out. It's been longer than that. And he hasn't contacted us."

"So, something did happen."

"Not for certain," Sabé said. "For all we know, he decided to go off the grid without telling us."

That… might be true. But it was out of the norm for Vader to go off the grid and not tell her. He'd gone off the grid half a dozen times over the years, and each time informed her not to pay attention to any ill-informed rumors of his absence. Usually, the Emperor's scheming was involved.

Ahsoka crossed her arms. It could be nothing. She wasn't getting any special warning that something was wrong in the Force, but that didn't always mean anything. The future was always in motion, and sometimes it took a choice, an action, an event to feel the stirrings of warning if something was wrong. Vader truly could be perfectly fine right now. That didn't mean he would be in the next day or so if he didn't turn up.

"Anything from the Imperial side?" Ahsoka asked.

"Not yet," Sabé said. "But Lord Vader would have to be missing an incredibly longer period of time or in mortal danger for the Emperor to notice. He's not omniscient."

Sabé got that from Vader. Ahsoka was sure. Vader told Ahsoka the same thing about Palpatine once. The man was no omniscient or omnipotent force. Just a highly intelligent and manipulative sociopath who accounted for all possible obstacles in his way and had multiple contingency plans until the Force tipped to near certainty when only a few choices were left, which made him appear to be omniscient or omnipotent. Ahsoka wasn't sure if Vader had been trying to convince her or himself of that, despite the fact that his words rang true.

Old Jedi teachings resurfaced in her mind despite her efforts to distance herself from the faith. They told her to think past her emotions and to let go of her clear attachment. Ahsoka reminded herself she stopped being a Jedi a long time ago and that she'd given up trying to deny her attachment to Vader a little while after.

"Do you know where he went?" Ahsoka asked.

"Jakku."

"Do you have the exact coordinates?"

"I do."

"Send them to me. I'm going to find Vader."

"Way ahead of you," Sabé said as Ahsoka's datapad pinged with the information.

With her utility belt already on her, lightsabers included, Ahsoka headed to the hanger. She'd sent Rex on a mission earlier with the promise that her only plans were to meet with High Command, take a nap, and go back to Alderaan. That talked him out of assigning a soldier to take with her in case she went on a mission. Hopefully, he'd forgive her once he found out why she'd left.

She was halfway to the hanger when she ran into Obi-wan.

"What fortune? I was hoping you hadn't taken the time to seclude yourself from the world yet."

Ahsoka resisted the urged to groan. Obi-wan had the most impeccable timing.

"What has High Command complained about me to you for now?" Ahsoka asked to speed up the conversation as she continued to walk.

Somehow, High Command had gotten it into their heads that if they wanted her to legitimately hear out a grievance, they should tell Obi-wan. Both she and Obi-wan found it amusing that they thought there was anything Obi-wan could say to persuade her once she'd made up her mind to do something.

"Getting you and Anakin to listen to my sound reasoning is my life's greatest failure," he'd said with a roll of his eyes. They'd both ignored the solemn truth to those words and took it in the good-natured manner he'd meant it.

"That bad?" Obi-wan asked of her meeting today.

On any other day, Ahsoka might have indulged in his conversation. Maybe even complain to him and allow him to give him some sage Jedi wisdom that she would either take or ignore, but she needed to get to Jakku.

"Not really. Just tiring," Ahsoka said with a curt shrug. "I'll discuss it with you later if I remember it."

"Where are you rushing off to?" Obi-wan asked.

"Nowhere. Just tired. Ready to get home."

"I thought you were leaving for Alderaan tomorrow?"

Curse Obi-wan and his observational skills.

"Change of plans."

"Oh? You should tell Bail. He's headed back to Alderaan tonight to maintain the illusion that he never left the planet. It would free up a transport," Obi-wan added.

Feeling like she was a padawan again and trying to dodge both Anakin and Obi-wan to get out the temple, Ahsoka groaned. Obi-wan was neither as considerate of her secrets nor as easy to deflect as most people Ahsoka dealt with. She'd done it years ago to avoid telling him about the twins, but he hadn't really been himself back then.

"I'm not going to Alderaan. Not yet."

"Really?" Obi-wan asked as though he hadn't already figured that out.

"Something came up. Going out for a quick mission. Shouldn't take more than a couple of days. I'll be done with it before anyone notices I'm missing." At least, Ahsoka hoped that was the case if Vader hadn't gotten himself into actual trouble.

"And did you inform Rex of your intentions?"

"It's… pretty classified."

Obi-wan raised his eyebrow at her, his hands clasped behind his back. His way of telling her they could do this however long she wanted.

Ahsoka sighed. "My informant lost contact with the leader of one of his task forces a couple of days ago. It hasn't been very long, and his commander's not concerned about it yet, but I just want to make sure."

"Your informant sounds like he's involved in some aspect of espionage. Are you sure he's just not off the grid right now?"

"Maybe. But it's not like him to do that and not tell me," Ahsoka explained. That and the dimmed presence of his Force signature. But telling Obi-wan that would be giving too much away. "I just…" She looked away from Obi-wan as she trailed off. Then she continued, "I just wanna be sure."

Obi-wan gave her a long, considering look before he finally said, "I'll accompany you then."

Ahsoka startled and stuttered a few times before saying, "Wait. What?"

"I'll go with you. Certainly, if your informant has gotten himself into a dangerous situation, it would be better not to go it alone."

"Actually, it would."

"And Rex and Cal would never forgive me if they knew I let you go on this kind of mission alone and something happened to you," Obi-wan said as he walked ahead of her to the hanger.

"I… hold on. Obi-wan. Wait. I mean… It's really not necessary."

"I disagree. Now the longer we squabble, the more time we waste that could be used getting to your informant," Obi-wan stated.

Ahsoka resisted the urged to try to partially cover up the chevrons on her lekku that she just knew were darkly flushed right now. She hadn't thought her… Fondness. She'd call it fondness. She hadn't thought her fondness for Vader was that obvious. And maybe it wasn't. Maybe Obi-wan just knew her that well.

If this were Vader being this insistent, she'd brush him off and go back and forth with him until he got tired of fighting her and let Ahsoka have her way. But this was Obi-wan. The hierarchy of the Order was gone, and she now outranked him, but she couldn't just order Obi-wan to not come with her. She could, but it was Obi-wan for goodness sake. For all that Anakin had been responsible for her training, Obi-wan had been just as involved. In fact, her fellow padawans had a running joke at one point that she had two masters, and because of who they were, the Council turned a blind eye. If Anakin had been the blurry mix of older brother and best friend showing her the ropes, then Obi-wan had definitely been the stern but caring father figure. And while she was sure she could get him to back off this idea, she didn't have the time to do it in the pleading manner of her youth.

"I guess," she finally acquiesced, with little choice but to do otherwise.

Not going to Jakku was out of the question, but it would be wonderfully convenient if Vader would comm her right now and allay her concerns so that she didn't have to. Going to Jakku with Obi-wan along for the ride now meant that she had to confess to yet another of the two—three?—secrets that she'd kept from him. She'd kept putting it off, finding a reason not to tell him the truth. Now she had about a rotation to figure out how to do it. Preferably before they found Vader. Way before.

For all that Ahsoka stopped caring a long time ago what the Jedi thought, this was Obi-wan. She knew what she would choose if it came down to Vader or Obi-wan. She'd done it before. But the choice never sat well with her.

Ahsoka waited until they were halfway into their hyperspace journey before she decided to broach the subject.

When she found Obi-wan in a light meditative state in one of the bunks, he opened his eyes and asked knowingly, "Yes?"

Ahsoka looked around the bunk before deciding to stand in the doorway as she said, "There's something I need to tell you before we get to Jakku."

"About your informant, I'm guessing."

"Yeah…" Ahsoka said, avoiding his gaze. "I need to tell you who he is and the real nature of his status. Better for you to get over your shock and tell me I'm insane now rather than you seeing him and telling me then."

"Go ahead, then."

Ahsoka took a deep breath and released her trepidation. At his best, Vader was much more explosive and dangerous than Obi-wan would be at his worse, and she had no problem facing his ire.

"I wasn't all the way truthful about Vader a few months ago. I mean… I didn't lie. I did turn him down on the offer to be his apprentice, and I will continue to," Ahsoka added.

"What's this got to do with your informant?"

Ahsoka sighed. Obi-wan was not usually this slow on the uptake. Breha figured out her connection to Vader and the nature of their partnership with a lot less information than Obi-wan had now. But Breha also didn't have a lifetime of teachings that said the deal she'd struck with Vader shouldn't even be possible.

"Obi-wan. Vader is my informant."

Not many things disturbed Obi-wan's practiced Jedi calm to any noticeable degree. Ahsoka only recalled two events in the past that had. The first was when Satine had, allegedly, been murdered. The second was when Anakin became Darth Vader. Now, she could add a third.

"Obi-wan," Ahsoka called when he didn't say anything for a few seconds.

"I'm sorry. Something must be wrong with my hearing. I could have sworn you said that Darth Vader was your informant."

That tone was his way of warning her that if this was a joke, now was the time to take it back. He'd used it on Anakin a lot.

"I did. He is."

Obi-wan blinked, opened and closed his mouth, before saying, "Ahsoka. You mean to tell me you're working with Darth Vader?"

"Yes."

"Next thing I know, you're going to tell me he's not a Sith Lord."

"Oh, he's definitely a Sith," Ahsoka said with a scoff. "But he appreciates that we have a common enemy. He's just as displeased with Palpatine as everyone else is."

"Oh, yes. Darth Vader's crusades across the galaxy on behalf of our illustrious emperor is proof of that."

That was fair.

"He doesn't have a choice. If Sidious suspects anything, it could ruin everything."

"What's everything, Ahsoka? What exactly is Darth Vader's goal in all this? I can't imagine it's to reinstate the Republic and democracy."

"No. It's not. And I'm not sure that's my goal either."

"That," Obi-wan said, holding up a hand to stop her from saying anything else she might have to that point, "is an argument for another day. Ahsoka, he's not the man you knew before the Clone Wars. Darth Vader is a twisted version of the real Anakin Skywalker. And somehow, he's fooled you into thinking there's something of that person left to get what he wants."

"It's not like that. He goes out of his way to make sure I know that." Ahsoka added bluntly.

"He's a Sith, Ahsoka."

"And the only thing we know about them and the dark side is what we were allowed to learn in the Jedi Temple because they were terrified if we knew anymore, we'd fall to the dark side. And look what happened still," Ahsoka argued. "There's a lot more to it than that. At least for Vader. I can say that for him. Just… have an open mind. Talk to him yourself."

Obi-wan scoffed. "That's supposing the first thing he doesn't do is try to kill me."

"I'll talk him down first," Ahsoka assured. "He's not the person he was before the Empire, true. And frankly, I'm not sure that was ever the real him anyway. But some of that person is still there. There's good in him. Just give him a chance," Ahsoka pleaded.

Obi-wan sighed heavily with a hand over his eyes.

"I'm almost afraid to ask this because I'm not sure I want to know the answer. But how long?"

"How long have we been trying to take down Palpatine together? Six years so far. The Rebellion wouldn't have gotten anywhere close to where we've gotten so quickly without his help keeping the Emperor's attention away from us," Ahsoka answered.

"Not that. How long have you been—and I think this may be too strong a word—in love with Darth Vader?"

Ahsoka sputtered. "Wait… what? We aren't… I'm not in love with him."

"Maybe not. But you feel something. You're a lot more subtle about it than Anakin was with Padmé, but you're not going all the way to Jakku to find Darth Vader on a maybe just because he's your co-conspirator," Obi-wan pointed out. Then he pointed to her lekku and said, "And those give you away."

"It's…" Ahsoka fiddled with the end of one of said lekku and rolled her eyes, "We're figuring it out." When he didn't respond, Ahsoka quickly added, "It's not like we planned it or put any effort toward it. We spent the better part of five or six years hating each other and something… just sort of happened."

"Oh, I'm sure you just opened your eyes one day, and out of nowhere, you decided you wanted to be romantically involved with a Sith Lord."

Ahsoka gave a sheepish shrug and said, "I mean… it sort of did happen that way."

Obi-wan gave her a long unimpressed look but said nothing for a long few moments.

Finally, he said, "I suppose it's too late to turn back now. We're already halfway there."

AN: It's really been fun to have Obi-wan out this loop when he probably knows the two better than most in the galaxy, but his preconceptions prevent him from really seeing what's going on until Ahsoka spells it out for him. Also, Ahsoka's preconceptions of him from when they were both Jedi and after the Empire have prevented her from being very forthright with him about everything. Regardless, we're on the way to resolving all that.

Anywho, hope you enjoyed. Review please. I appreciate it!