Chapter 30: Anyway Friends

Meredith let herself melt into him. He was her rock again, that steadying force that held her upright. The only person that had been able to look into her soul so deeply. Who could understand her current state of mind better than him? Her confusion, disappointment, the sudden feeling of rejection.

But he was… him. Derek. The man she loved with all her being but who was no longer hers. She inhaled his familiar scent for the last time and slowly pried herself away, her palms against his biceps. He tried to prolong their embrace; his hands slipped from her back to her waist.

"No, Derek… no," she shook her head.

"Okay, okay," he nodded softly, not letting the sense of defeat overcome him as his fingertips separated from the material of her scrubs.

"It's just… thank you… but I can't deal with everything… I can't deal with you right now…"

"I'm not… I'm not forcing myself on you, Mer," he told her, his voice pleading. "I'm just… I'm here for you."

"But you can't! You can't be here for me!"

"This is where I disagree-"

"We're over, Derek!"

"Would you just stop saying that?" he said abruptly, his voice slightly raised. He couldn't stand her beating him over the head with that phrase, over and over again. "God, I get that already. Trust me, I'm feeling that in every cell in my body!"

She was speechless, momentarily struck by the rawness of his voice.

"We're broken up but… I am still your friend," he declared more quietly.

She opened her mouth to protest but he held his arms up begging her to listen to him.

"I'm your best friend, Mer," he argued with passion. "That's how we started this thing. I was a school geek, you were a rebel, and we were best friends. We are best of friends. We always rely on each other."

"Things changed," she shrugged sadly. "We have a whole history now. We can't be best friends!"

"I don't want you to be alone, certainly not during this," he pleaded.

"I'm not alone. I have other friends too, Derek. You have other friends," she pointed out. "Mark Sloan, for example."

Derek let out a short wry laugh. "Mark Sloan is as far from being my friend as it can be."

"What happened between you two?" she asked with a frown.

"We just don't see eye to eye," he answered evasively and brought the attention back on her. "Mer, I will take a step back if you want me to."

"Good."

"I need to be sure you have someone to lean onto. That there is someone you'll let in on what you're going through. The wicked sisters? Cristina Yang? Have you even told her about your biological family?"

"No," she sighed lowering her eyes to her feet.

"I am the only person to know you inside out," he went on. "I understand you better than anyone ever could. I… I failed your trust, I'm aware of that and you can't imagine how deeply I regret it. I am still that awkward kid that follow you around…"

Meredith didn't even deny. He was all that to her, at least he had been up until the last few months. Only, could she lean on him again? Was it the right thing to do when they were so messed up?

It was making her teeth hurt. Seriously. She just mentioned it in passing that she had a fiancé whom she lived with and they firmly decided they have to see it with their own eyes. Her colleagues from pharmacology classes, her two overly giggly gossipy colleagues.

She had thought, why not? She didn't have that many female friends in Boston and she really missed her sisters. So, when Tina and Betsy heavily hinted, they would love to come over for a girl night she had no objection to openly invite them.

Now, she knew it probably wasn't one of the wisest decisions in her life. The girls kept sighing and giggling at every little thing; even the horrible flower vase that was an engagement gift from the family evoked their admiration.

"I can't wait when Tim pops the question!" Betsy chirped, her eye glassy, as they sat at the counter in the kitchen.

"Oh, crap, and I don' even have a boyfriend!" Tina's face crumpled pathetically. Meredith didn't know what to say. She backed slightly away when Tina suddenly leaned forward. "Was it romantic for you?"

"I… guess…" she stammered under two expectant stares. "He… knelt down."

She thought they would faint swooning how utterly cute the fact that Derek proposed on his knees was.

"And you've got that beautiful ring," said Betsy dreamily. "From your future mother-in-law!"

"You're so lucky! I'm so afraid I'll get a monster-in-law!"

"So, you… haven't met… ugh, Tim's parents yet?" asked Meredith conversationally.

"We've just been dating for two months," Betsy rolled her eyes.

"And he's proposing?" Meredith plodded on.

"Duh, not now," Tina giggled. "Later, much later!"

"Ah…"

They heard the front door open and soon Derek came into the kitchen with a bag of groceries. "Evening, ladies." He smiled at them and walked up to Meredith to press a kiss to her cheek.

"So, that's Derek," Meredith introduced him. "Der, that's Tina and Betsy… I've told you about them."

"Nice to meet you," he nodded and unpacked the shopping.

For some reasons unknown to Meredith, her two new acquaintances became strangely silent but for occasional giggles.

"I'll just get the dinner started and be out of here," he smiled and got busy. After fifteen unusually quiet minutes he set the oven and disappeared into the apartment, his departure provoking a giggling fit and Meredith's loss for words.

"He's so cute!"

"And he's so well trained! He does domestic chores!

Meredith's eyebrow rose high. She just imagined Derek in the role of a poodle trotting around the apartment.

In that exact moment he was back in the kitchen, taking a carton of juice from the fridge.

"What is he still doing here?" Tina frowned after he was out.

"Uh?" Meredith stared at her in incomprehension.

"When is going out?" Betsy prompted.

"Why would he go out?"

"It's a girls' night only!"

"Well, he's not here," Meredith shrugged. "He's in the bedroom, probably studying."

"That's so not the point!"

"He lives here," Meredith argued, dropping all the pretenses of being acquiescent. "It's not like I'm going to kick him on the street because I have someone over."

"You know, maybe we should reschedule," Betsy offered sourly.

"Your friends gone so soon?" he asked from over his book as Meredith sauntered into the bedroom.

"They're not my friends," she frowned. She pulled off her jeans and tiptoed to the bed to nuzzle against his side, his arm going immediately around her. "I don't even think we speak the same English…"

He laughed at her grumbling tones, his fingers playing with her hair.

"What did you tell them?" he inquired, his eyes still skimming the page.

"Why do you think I told them something?" she frowned, her palm wandering lazily over his t-shirt clad chest.

"No reason," he chuckled. "Just your impatient honesty. And well," he sighed closing the book and letting it slide to the floor, "they didn't seem quite on your intellectual level…"

"I know, right," she laughed as he shifted them, so they laid facing each other. "Surprisingly enough, they seem almost normal in classes. Don't have bad grades either… Maybe there's something wrong with me?" she chuckled.

"Absolutely not," he grinned, and his palm lazily travelled along the curve of her waist, up and down, diving under her shirt and back, hooking his fingers under her panties.

"I don't feel that comfortable with anyone as much as you," she murmured looking at him. "I can't imagine telling anyone the things I tell you. I feel like I can tell you anything, no matter how… stupid… or... how intimate it could be. "

"I feel the same," he smiled simply scooting even closer to her. "That's because we're anyway friends."

"Anyway friends?" she eyed him curiously.

"Mhm. An anyway friend is the one person in your life who, no matter what they say or do, no matter what they've been through with you, they love you anyway."

Her smile lit her face and her fingertips glided across his cheek when she leaned for a kiss.

"I love you, my anyway friend."

Meredith stepped around Derek and sank into one of the beds.

"Tell me why he's here."

"He's…the whole family is here for your sister," he replied opting to sit on the same bed. He registered with relief that she didn't mind.

"The woman who is his daughter," she corrected him. "I have four sisters already, don't need more."

"Okay, then, his daughter, Molly, is six-months' pregnant. There are some complications apparently. They sent her straight to us from ER. Robbins is working on her case."

"She's pregnant?" frowned Meredith. "How old is she?"

"Just out of high school."

"Knocked-up teen that went off the rails?" she asked almost hopefully.

"No," he chuckled lightly. "She's married actually."

"Wow," she sighed. "I guess some people don't wait…"

There was a moment of consternated silence in which both of them contemplated how their story would unfold if they did get married soon after the engagement.

"Uh, what else? What should I know?"

"They have another daughter. Alexandra, she's a year older.

"Hm, so he waited like… three, four years to find himself a new happy family?" she snorted bitterly. "I've wondered over the years what happened to him. If he was dead… travelling… abducted by UFOs. Now I know he was just a couple of blocks away busy with two newer models. And I wouldn't even recognize him on the street… What does he look like?"

"Not too tall. Gray hair, full face. Average."

"Derek… you think I should see him?" she asked for his opinion suddenly.

"I think… you need this," he answered after a moment. "You need this to make peace with yourself. To finally accept that it wasn't your fault that he left."

She nodded slowly. It was a lot to take. She was astonished, curious, hopeful, angry and a lot more… But she just needed to rip off the band aid.

"Baby, I'm so relieved! You gave us such a scare!" Thatcher's current wife gripped her daughter's hand. "Are you sure, I mean, absolutely sure that she's okay now?" she turned to Derek.

"Yes, for now she and the baby are safe. That intern in the ER just panicked," he nodded. "But it's not exactly an easy pregnancy. She really needs to take extra care of herself. Absolutely no strenuous activity, no stress, nothing that could elevate your blood pressure. There's no need to put her on bed rest now but we can't exclude that when she's more far along."

"Molly's husband is overseas, military you know, but we'll take care of her," assured Susan Grey.

"We will," smiled warmly Thatcher placing his arm around his wife.

Molly's sister, well, also Meredith's sister, sat on the other edge of the bed.

Derek watched unobtrusively the family interaction all day long. He couldn't shake off his surprise. They seemed so… normal. Not that much different than his own family. Thatcher Grey gave an impression of a nice guy. Derek couldn't comprehend how that man could leave his five-year-old daughter and never come back. He seemed such a loving father.

"Thank God I was still in Seattle…" The two sisters grasped their hands and shared a smile. There was a trace of physical similarity between them and Meredith.

"Lexie is starting premed," explained Thatcher proudly. "Harvard. Maybe she'll be working here as well in a couple of years."

At this point something broke inside Derek. It might have been his heart breaking for Meredith. A flicker of anger at the man whose actions resulted in her unhappy childhood. He had a daughter already to be equally or even more proud of.

"You know, that's pretty much my story," he started casually.

"Really?" asked curiously Susan.

"I'm from Seattle but I went to Boston to premed and med school," went on Derek. "Now my first year of residency is coming to a close."

"Wow," the older sister fidgeted in her seat. "Seriously?"

"That's fantastic," took up Susan. "Was it very hard? All the family stays back here, Lexie will be all alone on the East Coast…"

"It's pretty hard, yes. A lot of work certainly. But I wasn't alone. I went to Harvard with my fiancée," he hesitated for a moment and gave Thatcher a hard-meaningful look, "and now Meredith is here with me for the internship."

He carefully scrutinized the older man's face when he said her name aloud. And there was a reaction. Recognition. A kind of glint in his eyes.

"I'll be back later to check up on you before we discharge you," he nodded at Molly and hurried out.

"Dr. Shepherd?" Thatcher's voice caught him back in the hallway.

"Mr. Grey?"

"You know," the man began cautiously. "I have another daughter. About your age. Her name's Meredith."

"I know," Derek said bluntly.

"You… Meredith… Meredith works here?" he breathed out.

"Yes, she does."

"Is she here today?"

"She has a shift, yes," came another of Derek's short replies. He wasn't going to make it any easier for that man.

"Do you… can I see her?" Thatcher's voice quivered slightly.

"Why?" Derek asked straightforwardly. "What for? Why so suddenly? Let's be frank, you've had years to do that."

"I know… but it's... It is complicated," sighed Thatcher. "Please, I'd just like to see her."

"Fine," nodded Derek. "But I'm only taking you to her because that's what Meredith wants. And you better not hurt her. She is a beautiful amazing person. She doesn't deserve any more hurt that you had inflicted on her in the past," he finished sourly and beckoned the older man to follow him.

Do you think that Meredith should meet Thatcher?