Chapter 33
Jimmy woke the next morning as he felt someone move his hair off his face. He opened his eyes to see Lou sitting on the edge of the bed. He pushed himself up just a little.
"Morning." She said.
"Morning." He didn't know what else to say so he looked at his bad hand.
She reached down and took it. He tried to pull it away but she wouldn't let go.
"Don't be ashamed. It's just part of your story."
"Yeah."
"They told me."
He nodded and wouldn't look at her.
"I'm glad they brought you home."
"They shouldn't have. I told them not to."
"Why, so you could die alone? I don't believe that you will die. I think that man is wrong."
That made Jimmy turn to look at Lou. He shook his head.
"Just like me to drag it out and make everyone around me suffer."
"How come you don't hardly ever say my name?" Lou blurted.
"I can't."
"I see." Lou smiled.
"Don't take that the wrong way. I am gonna die at any time. I ain't worth those kind of thoughts."
"Yeah, we'll see."
"I wanted to die. I wanted to die fast, not like this. Still hurting those I love the most." He pushed out making Lou smile to herself at his admittance.
"It ain't gonna be today and it ain't gonna be tomorrow. Hell it might never be. Let's see how much living you can get done before that day gets here."
Jimmy looked at her and shook his head.
"I mean it."
Teaspoon walked in from town for dinner. It had been near two weeks and Jimmy was still hanging in there. He walked up to see him sitting in a chair in the yard watching the little ones play in the dirt. He normally got up and sat outside. He watched him sit there and smile at the two girls. Lou and Rachel watching on the porch. Cody had left to return to the army last month. Savannah had finally arrived and Kid lived in town with her at her clean hotel as she called it. He was right. They all did love her as sassy as she was. She made them all laugh several times a day. Jimmy had changed over the course of the last few weeks. Teaspoon stopped and watched a little longer before anyone noticed him. He saw him laugh and smile. He had started saying Lou's name again and the two had become close but he had told Teaspoon that he felt that he needed to make it right before he passed on. That bothered him. He didn't want Jimmy to die now that he had found him a second chance at life. He saw his boy for the first time in over two years and it pained him to see him struggle every day to live. He walked over to Rachel and Lou.
"I'm heading out of town for a few days. Got to see to something."
"Ok, where are you going?" Asked Rachel.
"Just got business. I'll be back quick as I can."
He left right after dinner.
Buck and Ike walked around with Jimmy a few days later. He walked over to see his horse.
"Let's go for a ride." He said leaning on the stall door.
"I don't know, Jimmy. I mean..." started Buck.
"Look it's been two weeks."
"I don't think it's a good idea. You still have a fever and the infection." Said Buck looking at Ike.
Jimmy pushed off from the stall. He felt angry. It was the first time he had felt his anger in quite a while.
"Jimmy, wait." Buck said as Ike tried to touch his arm.
"Don't, I just need a minute." He said jerking away.
Buck and Ike looked at Jimmy's horse as he started slowly walking across the yard. They snapped around when they heard a noise. Jimmy fell grasping his chest. Buck and Ike ran over. They turned him to his back. He was shaking and grabbing at himself.
"Jimmy, lay still for a minute." Buck said as he nodded to Ike who ran for the house.
"I can't." Jimmy panted.
"How long has it been going on?"
"Few days." He pushed out.
Buck heard Lou racing from the house. She fell down beside him. She grabbed for his hand.
"I didn't think it was true." She cried.
"Lou, I didn't think it would turn out any other way." He answered.
"I don't want it to be true."
"I don't want it to be either. I will miss this." Jimmy admitted looking at Lou.
Lou lost it. Rachel pulled the girls inside. Buck and Ike helped Jimmy to his feet as they helped him walk back inside to the bed.