epilogue

Mitsuha- 20 July

"Mitsuha, we are reaching the station soon."

I groan as I wake up from my long nap on the train. Taki holds my hand and together we alight at the stop, the cold air brushing past our faces. We walk for a while as Taki begins to recount his story, about how he once travelled to Itomori with his friends Ms Okudera and Tsukasa. Strangely enough, I find these names awfully familiar. I just can't shake the feeling that I somehow once knew who they were. Since all of the madness happened, that feeling has always been present. That somehow everything about Taki was so familiar, so close to my heart. Perhaps it's just… a coincidence. It has to be. But it's such a strange feeling nonetheless.

How did we end up here anyway? It's been a stacked year and having recovered from the nightmares, I've been feeling so much better. I can't be more grateful for how fast my recovery phase has been. I half-expected much worse, because recovering from depression just isn't that easy. But what else can I say, except that I'm so thankful for how my mental health has improved.

I recall that it's been almost exactly a year since that first breakthrough in therapy. It was on this very day last year that I first saw the nightmare disappear. I still remember the feeling of immense hope I felt. Success. Like I was finally seeing some improvement. I was still quite depressed afterwards, but it was definitely something major. After all, we don't recover overnight from any kind of illness. but I remember just spending a couple of months going out and spending some time with Taki. We went to the movies, went jogging, had lunch; we did so much together. Those times really motivated me to go out and stay active mentally. I can't imagine life without him. He supported me through those times and he cared for me. I really love him so damn much.

Today, Taki and I decided to travel to Itomori together. Not just to face our fears, but for nostalgia. It's a special place. For me, there's something I need to confirm as well. Something in my heart that is drawing me there. It's been there since we met on the stairs.

"Hey Mitsuha, let's take a break and have lunch here." He stops mid-way, and points to a small ramen shop situated along the quiet street

I nod in agreement and we step inside. There were a few tables, and there was a man behind the counter, likely a chef, while a woman was cleaning some of the tables.

We eat lunch together, and the silence that surrounds us is so soothing. The presence of him makes me feel… a strange sense of warmth. I feel at ease. There's nothing that can disturb us. We talk, of course. There are so many things to talk about. There are so many people to talk about. We talk about Itomori, we talk about his job, my life, our families, we talk about everything under the sun. There's no subject that we don't cover, cause there's no reason not to. He is, well… family.

I remember the time that we met on the stairs. When both of us first laid eyes on each other. It was a special moment, a strange and peculiar feeling. This had happened before. Somewhere. Somehow. It was a strange sense of deja vu that enveloped us. There was something that I wanted to ask him. It wasn't just his name. There was something about him that I remembered. I had a part of me missing. There was something…

Frustration itches the back of my mind, and it rips my mind, a part of it which feels numb, which feels empty but full, which feels… locked.

We finish lunch and continue to make our way to Itomori. The peace continues, but it is not awkward. The frustration doesn't end, but I push it aside. It is displaced with some kind of joy… a joy which defines the meaning of old but gold. The streets, the clear skies, it is refreshing, rejuvenating. The joy contains hints of childhood, making me enjoy it even more.

We climb up a hill, the final obstacle before we enter Itomori. The sky begins to turn a tinge of orange, as we reach the top and decide to take a break there. The scene… it's breathtaking. The remains of what was once there, now turned into a sparkling, clear lake. The edges bling together with the setting sun, while the banks of the lake flourish with bright green forage. A pang of nostalgia hits me: this is home, and that will never change.

We sit down on the soft, luscious grass, shoulder to shoulder, taking some time to cherish the moment, the setting sun, the orange-pink sky, the clear horizon.

"So… Mitsuha, I've been meaning to tell you something." Taki hesitates, looking at me in the eyes, "You're… familiar. I've seen you somewhere before. Before the stairs. It almost feels as though we've been together for an eternity, even though we just met. I mean, not that way, but like, I mean…" Taki's face flushes red and trails off, breaking his eye contact with me and lowering his head.

Taki's words, though embarrassing, immediately plucks a string in my heart. Something, from the depths of my heart, the abyss in it, is resonating. It's surfacing. I think I see it. I think I understand. I can see it.

In a split second, the abyss unleashes; the door unlocks. Hundreds of memories flood the cavities of my mind, the warm air filling my nostrils.

"Taki, I've been meaning to tell you the same thing. I feel like… I recognise your friends, Tsukasa, Takagi, Ms Okudera… Somehow I know them. I vaguely remember what they look like. I feel as though they were my close friends… my family, almost like Sayaka and Tessie. I know their personality. Well, and to add on… while this sounds extremely strange, I feel like… I dated Ms Okudera," I say. When I get to that part, my face turns extremely hot. I didn't mean it that way, But I … I have no idea how to explain it.

Taki laughs encouragingly, but then he adds, "This… is the exact same way I feel towards Sayaka and Tessie. I did date Ms Okudera once, in a strange occurrence. For some reason, without any history in our text messages, we had decided to meet up and go for a date. I don't know why, but I remember someone set it up for me. Someone… Anyway, strangely I don't find anything that you've said weird or anything. In fact, it resonates with me… To some extent…"

Strange occurrence… Set up? He got set up… to date Ms Okudera? But… that's the exact same memory that I had. I set someone up to date Ms Okudera. I did. I remember. I dated her, but it was so that someone could have dated her. I set it all up. I know. It makes no sense, but somehow it's clicking in place. There was no way I could have dated her. I was in Itomori. This was before the comet. After the comet, all these memories suddenly felt hazy. It was a connection. We had a connection.

All of a sudden, it clicks in place. The dreams about the meteors falling. The realism. The Deja Vu. The missing place in my heart. Itomori. The fear of my death. How I died in the dream. How I dated Ms Okudera. Why, I know his friends.

"Taki, we swapped bodies," I say, getting on my feet. It's with conviction, even though I'm confused, myself. The moment I say that, my mind instantly snaps to attention. Taki stares at me, amazed. Something has clicked, it has to have.

"We did… We did… We- We did!" Taki says, jumping up, with revelation seeping through his voice, "You wrote your name on my hand, during Kataware-Doki. We saved Itomori. We were the ones who did. You convinced your dad. I didn't write my name on your hand, because like our other memories, they got destroyed in an instant. But I wrote that I love you. I loved you, Mitsuha. I wrote it. I said, wherever I'd go, I would find you. I would search for you. You wouldn't be lost. I said I would find you one day. I would find you. I would never lose you."

"Sayaka and Tessie… Tessie blew up the communications system and Sayaka spoke on the loudspeakers. We saved the city. You saved my life. I… I owe you everything. We found love… We found love, through fate. And we fought fate, for love. Together," I say.

Emotion fills me up and tears brim at my eyes. I remember everything. Everything we went through. I hug Taki and I cry into his shoulders. I remember doing this too. When we met on this exact mountain. He was such an idiot. He was such a pervert, such a moron. But I loved him nonetheless. We went through the world together. There was no block, not even a curse from God himself, that could stop us from being together. Love knows no bounds. We knew no bounds. We fought fate. We fought death. There was not a single thing that we hadn't suffered, and yet that we hadn't overcome. I sob into his shoulder as Taki sheds tears, yet smiling. We laugh, we laugh so much. We found it. We found what we lost. We were finally together.

We remain in each others' arms, and to me, it doesn't matter for how long. I feel his tears and the raw emotion packed within them.

We sit down, with me leaning on Taki. As they say, our thread twists, tangles, sometimes unravels, even breaks, but they connect again. We stare at the sunset, holding each other's hands tightly. The hues of blue. The hues of orange. The hues of red. The sun peeks out of the net of clouds, creating the most magical painting in history.

"Kataware-doki," we both say with a knowing smile.

I never want this moment to end.

And I know it won't.