Set in season 2 after the events of 2x05 "Looking Glass". Inspired by the fact that there's a lot of explosions on this show.
She was slumped against his shoulder, her body heavy and warm with sleep. His jacket was draped around her as a makeshift blanket. The slight jostling of the cargo plane they had hitched a ride back home on and their awkward seating arrangement kept making it fall, however. He did his best to help it stay in place, but she didn't seem to mind either way; she was truly out of it, not that he was going to complain. She deserved the rest. They both did, but he couldn't sleep. Although his eyelids were heavy and his body desperately wanted to join her in sweet oblivion, he wasn't willing to fall asleep. He forced himself awake, staring at her and shifting his position.
Closing his eyes would mean lowering his guard. And lowering his guard would mean allowing those thoughts to drift through his mind. He didn't want to think about them, not there and possibly not ever. It was all too much. The explosion, the fire, and the harrowing moment where all he could do was just stand there and watch the horror before him was too similar. Absolute dread had filled his gut, and he had felt his heart break apart. He found himself reliving the worst day of his life, and he couldn't let himself dwell on that.
Michael ignored the twinge in his neck as he stared down at Nikita. Her dark hair had partially fallen over her face, yet he could still see that her cheek was smooshed against his firm bicep. The position caused her lips to part slightly open, and for saliva to drool out. She was as beautiful and as adorable as ever. Without thought, Micheal tenderly brushed her hair behind her ear and kissed the top of her head. Nikita stirred slightly, un-squishing her cheek. A small smile pulled at her full lips.
Thoughts betraying him, he realized that he could've lost her. He could've lost her smile, her brilliance, her jokes. In those moments between the explosion and watching her walk through the flames, he thought she was gone. Like they were. The coms had cut out while they were running to get to the car in time. She had been the closest, and the fastest. If he couldn't get there in time, then she definitely could. And Michael figured Nikita had. So when the car bomb went off, he couldn't bear to think about it. But the memories didn't care about what he could or could not handle.
A strong woman like Cassandra, a precocious child like Max, and a family he loved deeply like Nikita assaulted his mind. There was no use fighting it off anymore; he was shot back in time to March 2001. Honestly, that day could only come back to him in fragments. The rest of those memories were probably hidden away by pain. He remembered their smiles, and their laughter though. He could never forget those. Elizabeth's was always so light and happy. She had said there was always a reason to find joy in the world, so why not smile. Their sweet little girl seemed to have inherited her mother's cheerfulness. Hailey would giggle at everything, mostly whenever she was being mischievous- that she got from him without a doubt.
That was the best his memory could give him of that day, which was a blessing. The fragments, however, were a curse. He tried to rush to the car. He didn't think he had ever ran so fast in his life. Except, he was too late. The explosion, the fire, the feeling of despair and hopelessness, though only flashes, continued to gut him. He lost everything in that moment.
Not being able to sit still anymore, Michael got to his feet and paced. The cargo plane didn't allow for much movement, but it was something to do. It was something to drive the memories away. He didn't like talking about it, let alone thinking about it. The pain and guilt ate at Michael. Hailey and Elizabeth's death were on his head. He trusted Kasim, and he left the briefcase in the car. Yes, Kasim was the bastard that had killed his family. But a small part of Michael thought that he shouldered some of the blame as well.
Nikita jolted awake when she fell. Her lovely pillow had abruptly left her. Confused, she rubbed the sleep out of her bleary eyes and searched the plane. She knew instantly that something was wrong. Michael was pacing back and forth, his hands clenching and unclenching. After the car bomb, Nikita feared he would spiral. She saw the look of despair and horror on his face as she came out of the flames alive. He tried to hide that fact from her. But the way he kept whispering 'I love you' and holding her close afterwards, tipped her off. He was drawing parallels between the past and the present. And he was lost in pain.
As quickly as she could with sleep numb limbs and a rocking airplane, Nikita stumbled to her feet. She crossed to Michael, who didn't seem to notice she was there. She moved slowly to not startle him, and reached for his hand. Although she was able to grab hold and squeeze reassuringly, he didn't react to her presence. He was too far gone.
"Hey, Babe," She tried. Her voice was barely a whisper while she spoke. Michael barely squeezed back. Gently, she pushed back his hair that had flopped in his face, "Hey. I'm right here."
She wasn't sure of the best way to reach him. Whenever Michael woke from a nightmare, she could simply soothe him with soft words and gentle touches. Except, that wasn't a nightmare. He was living in the past, and she had to help him get back to the present. With the recent events they went through still plaguing their minds, however, Nikita didn't know if that were possible at the moment.
Knowing he was not one to express his feelings with many words, she focused more on action. It was small, slow movements to get him to sit back down. His eyes were locked onto nothing in particular. They roamed wildly, matching his wild thoughts. Nikita caressed his cheek, turning him to face her. She pressed her forehead against his, so that he had nothing to look at but her.
They sat like that for a while. It wasn't until Michael reached for her, that she knew whatever she was doing was working. He held onto her waist, and awkwardly pulled her into a hug. She cradled his head against her neck, feeling tears pool there. She ran soothing hands up and down his back, while he held her tightly. After another long moment, he eventually breathed out, "Thank you."
Nikita only nodded in response. She continued to hold Michael, until he started to fall asleep. Together, the two of them shifted positions so that they were somewhat laying down. They drifted off to sleep, feeling secure in each other's arms.