If the story itself is poorly written, it was on purpose. I imagine that Wally wouldn't be a very good storyteller.

Dick: quite the opposite, actually. He always does the funny voices and he has a lot of energy when he speaks.

Jason: yeah, you underestimated him.

What about when he's being FORCED to tell a story?

Tim: then you're right on the money.

Prisma19: omg thank you so much! You have no idea how happy it makes me that you enjoy this story so much! I'll try not to disappoint!

Dick followed Alfred into the kitchen. He was already dead tired from putting up with his brothers, and Wally and Roy weren't helping. Not much had happened yet, it had barely been a day, and Dick was already worn down? How was he going to survive?

As Dick was lost in thought, Alfred had pulled out a saucepan and pot. He shoved the pot into Dick's chest, snapping him back into reality and earning him a confused look. Alfred simply smiled at him.

"Would you help me cook lunch, Master Dick?" he asked. Dick blinked and smiled tiredly at him.

"Yeah, sure," he said. He walked over to the sink and filled the pot halfway with water. He then made his way over to the stove and set the pot down, setting the stove to 7. Alfred came up beside him with an unopened package of pork chops.

"Are you alright, sir?" Alfred asked. He opened the package of meat and handed Dick a piece along with a knife. Dick started cutting the meat.

"I'm fine, why?" he asked.

"Because you're about to be stuck with the suit for the next five months," Alfred said matter-of-factly. Dick's eyes widened and he turned to Alfred, pausing in his task.

"Yeah… I am…" he said. Alfred glanced at Dick with the corner of his eye, tilted his chin in the direction of the meat ever-so-slightly, and turned back to his own task, not acknowledging the fact that they were having a conversation. Dick turned back to the meat and finished chopping it up.

"I know you don't like wearing the suit," Alfred said. Dick snorted.

"It's not just that," he said. He sighed. "It's also the fact that I have to make sure the boys don't all kill each other."

"You know, they are a LOT more lenient with you when you wear the suit," Alfred said. Dick was silent at this. He glanced into the pot and saw that the water was boiling. He and Alfred, in perfect unison, dropped the meat into the boiling pot. Alfred gestured to the fridge.

"Could you peel the potatoes, Master Dick?" Alfred asked. Dick nodded and made his way over to the fridge.

Once upon a time, there was a little orphan boy named Dick.

"This isn't going to be a depressing story, is it?" Steph asked. She leaned her head on Damian's shoulder, making the boy blush. "I don't want it to be another sad story."

Wally scoffed, both at the mention of it being a sad story, and the adorable sight of a blushing Damian Wayne.

"It's not depressing!" he exclaimed. He paused and thought for a moment. "Well, not TOO depressing, anyways."

Steph sighed and gestured for Wally to continue. Her head was still on Damian's shoulder, and it looked like she didn't plan on moving it any time soon.

He was dirt poor, but thankfully, the villagers loved him enough to always give him clothes and food and stuff. No, they could never hand him any spare coins or whatever. They could only spare some food and clothing.

Jason snickered a little bit.

He also had a pet cat named… um…

"Wally!" shouted Tim. Everyone burst out laughing. Wally glared at him, which was nothing compared to a batglare, but the point was getting across.

"Is it not bad enough that I'm being forced to tell a story?" he asked.

"No, it isn't," Jason said, but Roy put a hand on his shoulder.

"Come on, let's try someone else as the cat, alright?" he suggested. Jason smirked, and Roy's face paled.

"That's not what I meant," he hurriedly said. Jason's smirk didn't disappear.

"No, no, you're right," he said. "Let's give Wally a little break."

"Seriously, that's a bit unnecessary," Roy tried to insist, but Tim held up a hand to silence him.

"No, it's not often that I say this, but I agree with Jason," he said. "Let's give Wally a break."

"All in favor, say 'Ice cream!'" Jason said, raising his hand in the air. Six voices cheered 'ice cream'.

Roy sighed and put his head in his hands. Wally just blinked.

"So… does this mean that the cat's name is Roy?" he asked. Roy threw a pillow at him.

"Are you capable of being any dumber?" he asked. Wally glared at him, now, and crossed his arms again.

"Are you- "

"Guys, let's get back on topic now," Jason said, clapping his hands together. Wally and Roy glared at each other for another moment before both boys huffed.

So the cat's name was Roy. Super.

I dunno why, but Dick always wanted to go to London. He had heard that the streets were paved with gold or something, so he wanted to go.

"That child is going to be sorely disappointed," Cass said. Everyone nodded.

One day, a waggoneer passed by and Dick asked him where he was going.

"I'm going to London," he said.

"You're no fun," Damian said. He crossed his arms and stuck out his lower lip in a pout, surprising them all.

"No fun?" Wally asked. "What do you mean?"

"You aren't doing any weird voices," Damian said. He huffed and kept his pout in place. The Bats resisted the urge to start laughing. This was a new tactic that Damian had recently taken to. It usually gave him whatever he wanted, but only from Dick and Bruce.

Wally visibly struggled for a moment before sighing. Then, in his best impression of a younger Dick (which, begrudgingly, was pretty spot-on) he replied to the waggoneer.

"London? Really? I've always wanted to go there! Could you take me?"

The waggoneer thought about it for a moment before glancing at Dick's cat. Roy meowed. The wagogoneer sighed.

"Wait… wagogoneer?" Tim asked. Everyone burst into laughter. Wally just frowned at Tim.

"No, the waggoneer," he said. Tim shook his head.

"No, you said wagogoneer," he insisted. Wally scoffed and held his hands up in surrender.

"I'm pretty sure I said waggoneer, but I know better than to argue with a Bat," he said.

"I can't say 'no' to a poor kid with a cat," he said. He patted the seat beside him. "Hop in."

The ride to London only took a day. I don't understand why Dick didn't just walk there if they were that close, but maybe he was too young to go by himself or something. Since that's a pathetic excuse, let's just say that there were, like, ogres or something.

Roy coughed into his arm.

"What was that?" Jason asked. Roy shook his head and shrugged innocently.

"I didn't say anything," he said. "All I did was cough."

"Cough, cough," Steph monotoned. Cass snickered beside her.

Anyway, they were in London and Dick got lost really quickly, which made sense for him since…

Wally hissed through his teeth. Tim raised an eyebrow at him.

"Since when is Dick bad with directions?" he asked. Roy flinched as if he had been hit.

"He isn't," he said. "But…"

"But what?" Damian asked. Wally shook his head sadly.

"But he gets distracted by everything around him," he said. "So distracted, in fact, that he'll wander off without taking stock of where he is."

"And then he'll get lost," Roy said.

"When did this happen? When was this a THING?" Cass asked. Wally smirked.

"Well, it hasn't happened since he was… 10? 11?"

"He got lost in China, didn't he?" Roy asked, chin in his hand in thought. Wally frowned, trying to remember.

"No, I think that's when he was playing Hide – and – Seek," he said. "I'm pretty sure he got lost in Morocco."

"Morocco?" Barbara asked. "What was he doing there?"

"We do not speak of Morocco," Roy said, staring at a vacant spot on the floor. Wally shivered. The Bats gave them a moment of silence before Wally was able to continue.

He sighed and sat down at someone's doorstep. He was about to go to sleep when someone opened the door. Dick blinked at the man whose name I cannot remember, which is a shame since he was actually important to the story.

"Uh… hey there, small child," said The-Man-Whose-Name-I-Cannot-Remember.

"Um… hello there, sir," said Dick. The-Man-Whose-Name-I-Cannot-Remember looked around the area, probably for the kid's parents.

"Where's your parents?" he asked. Dick shrugged.

"I'm an orphan," he said. "I dunno where they are.

The-Man-Whose-Name-I-Cannot-Remember felt sympathy for this kid. An idea came to him.

"Why don't you stay with me?" he asked. "You'll have to do some work, but I'll make sure you eat and you're comfortable and stuff."

"Really?" Dick asked. "Sure!"

Roy meowed beside him.

"Oh, and can my cat come too?" he asked. The-Man-Whose-Name-I-Cannot-Remember just shrugged.

"I don't care," he said brightly. Dick cheered.

"The End?" Damian asked. He glanced at Steph, whose head was still on his shoulder. If her even breathing was anything to go by, he would guess she had fallen asleep.

"Not yet, Damian," Wally said. He frowned in Steph's direction. "Is she ok?"

"I think she's asleep," Damian said. Barbara nodded.

"Wouldn't surprise me," she said. "We went to bed rather late last night."

Damian nodded in understanding and gestured for Wally to continue.

Everyone was really nice to Dick, and he always did all his chores. Roy was pretty well-fed, too, so there wasn't really anything to worry about. Only the cook didn't like him, but he didn't care, so he ignored her.

Overseas lived a rich, fancy person. Every year, the people in London had to send one thing over to the rich, fancy person for whatever reason. I dunno, maybe it was taxes. Whatever. When the time came for the Londoners to send stuff in, the only thing Dick was able to send over was his cat. So he did.

"Traitor," Damian said. "He should be punished for betraying his friend like that."

"Yeah," the Bats all agreed. Roy and Wally shared a look. For a bunch of loners, the Bats sure cared about betrayal, huh?

Well, that's probably why they were loners.

The rich dude had a big problem when it came to rats and mice and stuff. No one seemed able to get rid of them.

"Why not call the Pied Piper?" Jason asked. Damian frowned at him.

"Call who?" he asked.

"You know, the Pied Piper of-oh, wait. You weren't raised on these stories, were you?" Jason asked. Damian shook his head. "Oh, well. I'm sure Dick will get to that story eventually."

That's when one of his men remembered that there was a cat onboard. The brought Roy in and naturally, he started chasing off the vermin. He was dubbed a hero.

Meanwhile, Dick's life was misery without Roy. The cook was being a bi- "

"Don't say it!" Barbara hissed. Roy slapped his hands over Wally's mouth while Tim gestured to the kitchen.

"Alfred is near," he whispered.

"He hears all," Jason also whispered. Wally nodded. If there was one being in the entire multiverse who was more terrifying than Batman, it was Alfred.

Dick couldn't stand facing her by himself anymore. One day, he walked out the door and probably would have walked home to the village if he didn't remember how kind the man and everyone who wasn't the cook had been to him. He turned around and walked back inside before anyone realized he had left.

The-Man-Whose-Name-I-Cannot-Remember apparently had a daughter. She and Dick got married and had kids, and they also had a bunch of cats and stuff.

"The End," Wally said. Jason slow clapped and Damian yawned.

"West, you are a very poor storyteller," he said. Wally pouted at him.

"What's next?" Jason asked. Wally and Roy jumped when a knock was heard from the kitchen. Dick stuck his head into the room with a smile on his face.

"Lunch is ready," he said. He ducked back into the kitchen. Everyone who was left in the main room just looked at each other.

"I guess that's what's next," Roy said. Cass gently shook Steph awake, and they all headed into the kitchen.

While they were eating, Dick smiled at them and said, "The next story is The Precious Stove."

Yes, I actually forgot his name. My bad.

Dick: were you talking about Galfore?

Yes, I was talking about Galfore. I remembered his name halfway through the story and decided, "screw it! I'm keeping this."

Tim: how sad.

Damian: it could be worse.

Jason: DAMIAN?!

Dick: yay, you exist!

Noooooooo!

Damian: I'm not even sure how I got here.

Tim: all you need to know is that we get to torture Sweet.

Damian: that is always a good pastime. Alright, I'm in.

Curse you all.