The probability of getting pregnant on her first time was close to none existent considering that there is only an 11% chance of catching the right time of the month and only 40% of all fertilized oocytes proliferate. Maybe she acted so recklessly because she was ovulating in the first place? She made a mental note to herself to read up on it later.
Lying on the hard stone floor, curled up like a ball, she hoped for a miracle. The more realistic part of her knew that she already used up enough miracles for a lifetime. Maybe it didn't take…
After a few minutes of crying, Lucius found her and helped her up. She held onto him as if her life depended on it. Once she calmed down a little, they sat down and drank tea in silence. Her thoughts were all over the place.
Her marital status was of no meaning, in this day and age it was nothing but a legal affair. But the idea of something of him growing inside of her was beyond comprehension. She tried to think but her mind was blank. She wanted a break, a holiday, from her husband. The last four days have been difficult.
"I don't know what to do," Hermione said. Her voice cracked.
"We will figure it out."
"Do you think I should do something about this?"
Ouch, that hurt. A lot more than he thought it would. He never really wanted any more children, but then he never thought it was an option. Was it that unusual to hope to start over with his new wife?
He summoned a vial and placed it on the table. Hermione recognized the potion inside immediately. It was the same one he gave her when she suffered from her monthlies. There was no doubt what it would do.
She grabbed it and broke the glass. She was about to empty the vial when she hesitated. The young witch felt like she was missing something. Did he look hurt? Looking up she found Lucius gone.
Hermione stood up and went looking for her husband. He was on a balcony high up the castle. Not being overly fond of heights, the war-heroine felt uneasy approaching him on the narrow path. At moments like that, she hated Japanese construction work. Why can't they built pathways on the inside like western people do?
He didn't look at her. Starring at the same distant point on the ground, he held onto the rail tightly. His knuckles were white from his grip.
"Don't you want to talk to me?" she asked.
"About what?"
"Getting your little mudblood pregnant?" she snapped.
He closed his eyes and inhaled sharply. His grip around the old wood got even tighter. She was worried that the brittle wood wouldn't withstand the force.
"What am I supposed to say?" he asked.
"You could start by telling me what you want."
"What kind of monster do you think I am? I will not tell you what to do with your body. Just consider that if the thought of having something of me inside you, is that unbearable to you then I see no point in continuing this relationship."
Great. Now he was offering her a divorce. Now that she was getting used to him. Now that she was getting used to the idea of being Mrs. Lucius Malfoy. A couple of days ago she would have probably taken the chance to run. What was worst was that he had a point.
Walking to the library she thought about it. Could she see herself starting a family with him, a former Death Eater with questionable morals? Generally, she never doubted to have a child at some point in her life. Just not right now. She hadn't even graduated from Hogwarts yet alone finished an apprenticeship or gathered work experience.
The rational thing to do would be to make sure that those few cells couldn't attach themself to he womb. Yet she somehow found her self reluctant to take the potion. While Hermione didn't feel sorry for those 16 cells, she had done worse, but knowing that there could be a baby, a little girl, made her want to think about it.
Lying in bed, she was forced to consider her family planning 10 - 15 years earlier than she had thought. 10 - 15 years? How old was Lucius? He must be about 25 years her senior. It would be awkward for him to have a baby in his sixties. Hermione slowly began to realize that she might have to adjust her well-planned schedule.
There were so many things going through her head that she had trouble falling asleep. While she, unlike her dormmates, never felt broody, there was a small part of her that was not entirely unhappy about the prospect of being a mother. It probably was the hormones. That would explain why teenagers reacted so irrationally.
She didn't sleep well that night. It was already noon by the time she found the strength to leave the bed. Lucius didn't join her that night. Hermione couldn't help but feel disappointed. Even if he was no help sorting the mess in her head, at least he could provide emotional support.
Washing her face she told herself that she hadn't cried, she was just hormonal. Hermione brushed her hair and teeth even more thoroughly than usual. She tasted blood.
Lying on the breakfast table she found a note next to the breakfast. Her husband had to work, he was going to be late, she needn't wait for him. At first, she was so angry that she burnt a hole into the paper with a single glance. But then she couldn't help her herself anymore and started sobbing. She stood up after a while and wanted to hide the library.
With a loud crack, a House Elf appeared in front of her. Kiki looked very upset. Susu had spent all morning preparing the meal. Didn't she like it? And she had to eat, Mistress needed the nutrients for her baby.
At that moment Hermione hated the little creatures. She wanted to free them all and never see a House Elf in her life again. Instead, she found herself guilt-tripped into eating her food. Every bite she took was hard work. She just didn't feel like eating, but the way the Elf looked at her… It took her hours to eat it all. She was almost done but the last bite just didn't want to go down. After several attempts, she finally managed to swallow down.
Pacing through the rooms of the castle, she tried to make sense out of the chaos in her mind. Being tired and worn down, Hermione went to bed early.
After another horrible nightmare, she found herself unable to fall back asleep. She was hot and cold and lonely, all at the same time. It was the middle of the night and Lucius was not with her. She reluctantly stood up.
Still wrapping inside the blanket she went looking for her husband. Sneaking through the castle, she found him in the sitting room sleeping on the couch. Since he was rather tall and the couch was very small for Western standards, he wasn't able to stretch his legs out. On the table was an empty bottle of Firewhiskey. He reeked of it. Hermione was surprised he didn't choose one of the countess bedrooms instead. Even sleeping on the floor would have been more comfortable than this. She wondered how much he had to drink. His alcohol consumption worried her.
The next couple of days went by in a similar way. He made sure to leave for 'work' early enough to be gone before she woke up and he returned late in the evening when she was already in bed, which he avoided. She felt abandoned and not even Shirona wanted to share the futon with her.
Still undecided, Hermione searched the library for clues and advice. Reading up on blood-magic, she learned that this particular marital bond's purpose was supposedly to make conceiving easier. The theory behind it suggested that it helped aline the parents' magic.
Because magic is unpredictable and volatile by nature, producing offspring isn't always easy. As people spend more and more time together they become more similar, the same thing happens with their magical signature. A common side effect of blood-rites is, that it makes people feel closer and connected to the person they bond with.
Hermione did notice an unusual sense of attachment to the older wizard but she blamed it solely on the psychological effect of being married. Among magical people, it is widely believed that children conceived during the ritual bedding are particularly strong and healthy. Also, the lack of offspring within the year after bonding is considered a bad omen and historically most of those marriages were dissolved as a consequence.
While Lucius never struck her a particularly superstitious person, she couldn't help but think that this was the reason why he didn't use any protection with her. While it didn't matter to her, she still wished she had known.