Warning: This one deals with a bit of heavy subject matter
A simple trip to the Takemi clinic was all this was supposed to be, Ren was going to pick up supplies, Makoto was coming along too to get a nagging injury examined.
They walk along in silence for awhile, until they hear a woman bawling. They both look around for the source, and finally see the woman dashing out of the clinic.
She sobbing and covering her face, Ren and Makoto have to step out of the way to avoid being bowled over, they watch as the woman disappears from view
"What was that about...?" Makoto asks in a soft voice. Ren doesn't want to say, but he noticed the woman was pregnant and her running out of doctors office crying can't be a good sign
"Takemi-san?" Ren questions as they finally enter the clinic, finding the doctor rubbing her temples
"No experiments today guinea pig" Takemi groans
"Uhhh...not here for that" Ren gulps, he's thankful that Makoto didn't seem to catch on "What...was that about?"
Takemi gives the teens a regretful look before sighing and admitting the truth
"She didn't want to go to a hospital, her dad's a doctor or something like that" Takemi groaned "She wanted me to perform a procedure on her...I refused"
"A procedure?" Makoto questions. Tae clearly doesn't want to explain anymore but it looks like she's going to have to
"An abortion" Tae admits "She wanted me to perform an abortion"
Tae starts to hiccup and both Ren and Makoto can feel a pull at their hearts as they stare at her.
"Christ..." Ren whispers
"Why did she..." Makoto trails off
"How should I know?" Tae groans in an annoyed tone "I just told her I didn't have the equipment to perform one, which I don't, so if that's why you two are here, you're shit outta luck"
Ren and Makoto freeze in shock at Tae's comments.
"We're...not..." Ren tries to get out but that's all he can manage
"What is it then?" Tae eggs on "Condoms?"
"No!" Makoto gulps "I-I-I just came here to get my ankle looked at!"
"Fine, get on the table in the room" Tae sighs once again as Makoto hobbles into the doctors office. Now alone, Ren just stands there
"I need...medicine too" Ren meekly says to no one.
Ren watches as Makoto continues to walk along as though nothing just happened. Ren has to hurry after a moment since it doesn't appear as though she's going to wait for him. Makoto sighs again. She's always wondered what it would be like to be pregnant.
Suddenly she finds herself imagining what having a child would be like, and she blushes when she pictures her first child having dark black hair.
"A child with Ren?" Makoto says extremely softly, under her breath. Ren had heard her voice as he fell in step next to her, and he heard his name, but he didn't catch the entire sentence.
"What?" Ren asks her with a raised eyebrow. Makoto's head jerks to look at him, and she turns bright red.
"Nothing." Makoto mutters at him before she looks forward again.
"I heard you say my name." Ren presses, and Makoto shakes her head at him.
"It's nothing." Makoto tells Ren before she quickens her step. Ren gives her a look of confusion, but he lets it go.
"Think she'll keep her baby?" Ren asks her curiously, causing Makoto to give him a confused look.
"That's...I have no idea." Makoto answers in a firm voice.
"I suppose you're right, sorry for asking such a strange question." Ren finally says quietly. "I...hope she does. It seemed pretty important to her." Ren says as he shoves the hand that isn't holding his bag into his pocket.
"I hope so too. It..." Makoto tells him as she adjusts her bag in her hands.
Ren's mind wanders as a result of encountering the pregnant woman and talking with Makoto about newborns. He wonders how Makoto feels about having children, or whether or not she ever thought about what it would be like to be a mother. They've never talked about anything like this before.
"Ren…" Makoto mutters quietly. She doesn't know why, but all of this talk is making her focus more and more on the fact that he's the first guy that's ever made her realize that she might want to have babies in the future, when she used to think she'd never let a man come that close to her.
"What's bothering you Makoto?" Ren asks her in a puzzled voice.
"Nothing at all." Makoto says with a sigh. There is no way she's going to tell him that she secretly desires to give birth to a black haired infant. He'd probably be beyond shocked if she admitted that secret fantasy to him.
They walk the rest of the way in silence, since Ren can easily sense that Makoto is feeling a bit uneasy about the extent at which they had discussed babies. He doesn't understand why she's suddenly tense, but it's obvious that she is.
Ren glances at her and tries to picture what she'd look like if she were pregnant. This is the first time he's ever imagined Makoto being pregnant with his child, and he's embarrassed as hell about it, even though they aren't discussing it and she isn't even looking at him.
I want to marry her. It's like yin and yang. The two of us make up a whole, and we're connected. There's no other woman I would even consider as the mother of my children.
What in the hell is he supposed to do now that he's had this blatant realization? Obviously, he can't just stay silent forever…or he might end up losing her with his procrastinating.
"You know, I could go for a coffee before I head back" Makoto says and just like that, they've changed their destination from the train station to LeBlanc. Ren is quite frustrated by the time they arrive.
I'm such a dumb ass! Why didn't I figure all of this out much earlier? I've spent so long in this relationship acting a certain way, that I'm completely lost as to how I'm supposed to change it.
The more Ren thinks about it, the more he realizes that he did notice his attraction to her much earlier. After she explained her situation to him, he held no resentment towards her for charging into Kaneshiro's hideout, in fact he had vowed that he wouldn't let Kaneshiro wouldn't lay a finger on her for the remainder of his life.
I've been kidding myself…denying my feelings…ignoring my attraction
The woman occupying his thoughts, sits down in the cafe and looks out the window. She's not oblivious to Ren's inner torment. It's as easily identifiable as her own, and she also knows that if she focuses on him right now, he'll probably get irritated. So instead, she focuses on her own inner desires.
A baby with brown hair hair and silver eyes would be the best in my opinion. I love his bright silver eyes. I love his hair too, but brown hair would be the proof that it would be his and my child.
Eyes the color of the center of a knights armor…and I'm like a moth. He draws me in and no matter how illogical it may be, I can only keep fluttering closer to him.
Huh. I have the heart of a poet.
It's like we belong together though! He is the man for me. How else could he have so easily taken over my heart, when I was so careful to keep it at bay from everyone?
…
If I said any of this stuff out loud, I'd want to punch myself. Stop thinking of Ren that way! He's not thinking of me that way, so why am I?
A bright silver eyed baby though…I want that so much!
"Makoto." Ren finally says, and Makoto pulls herself out of her reverie. Neither of them notice that the bathroom doorknob is turning silently and the door is slowly and quietly opening.
"Hmm?" Makoto asks as she turns around to look at him, and Ren nervously steps towards the cafe bar and sits on the stool next to her.
"I've been thinking…about babies." Ren finally says softly to her. Makoto's mouth drops open, but she closes it quickly and crosses her arms to stare him directly in the eyes.
"You have my full attention." Makoto tells him, as she waits for him to continue.
"I want to be a father some day…" Ren says quietly, and they both flinch when they hear someones footsteps and see that Sojiro has stepped out the bathoom
He fucking heard me.
"Not when we're open you don't!" Sojiro glared "I don't care what you get up to, but you sure as hell aren't doing any of that while I got customers coming in!"
"W-We're not!" Ren shouts but realizes there's no point in arguing this and begins to drag Makoto upstairs to his room
"I mean it!" Sojiro snaps
"I heard you!" Ren shouts back as they arrive in the attic. A bright red Makoto sits on his bed as Ren holds his face in his hands.
"He sure is loud." Makoto says with her eyes opened wide. Somehow she understands that Sojiro's behavior has something to do with the two of them, though she's not exactly certain why that is.
He walks over to sit next to Makoto again, and he's pissed off, since Sojiro's antics made him lose his train of thought.
"Where was I?" Ren mutters nervously.
"You want to be a father someday." Makoto says helpfully. There's no way she could forget that, since that statement had made the image of a black haired, silver eyed child float through her mind again. Ren blushes furiously.
"Right." Ren struggles to get out the next words. "What about you?" Ren whispers nervously. That question causes Makoto to blush. She's already decided that she won't share her secret fantasy with him, so why does he have to be asking this question right now?
"What do you mean?" Makoto asks, to delay the inevitable.
"Do you imagine having kids?" Ren asks, noticing her blushing. "You have, haven't you?" Ren asks, feeling confident that he is right.
"Maybe a little bit." Makoto says reluctantly. She's shocked to see Ren's expression look so relieved at first and then go to worried. She doesn't understand that at all.
"I'm glad you're not against the idea of it." Ren whispers to her, and Makoto's eyes widen to huge proportions.
"Wait a minute…are you talking about having kids with me?" Makoto's voice actually raises to a squeak. How is it even possible that they're having this discussion on a day when she can't get the vision of a black haired infant out of her head? Ren blushes and looks away from her.
"You're the only person I can imagine as the mother of my children." Ren finally growls out at her, before he awkwardly throws his arm around her and draws her close. Makoto gasps, but she doesn't pull away.
"Really?" Makoto asks in wonder. Of all of the ways she thought her afternoon might go, this was not it.
"Will Sae... allow you to marry as you desire?" Ren asks her, even though his face is still pink. Makoto gasps again, and she can't stop blushing either.
"I'd marry you even if she forbid from it." Makoto says in a choked up voice.
Ren takes the hand that's resting on her shoulder, and he moves it to her cheek, to tilt her head towards his, and she gives him a beautiful look of surprise when he meets her lips with his own. His fingers slowly caress her soft cheek and she brings a hand up to run it through his hair.
He nudges her mouth open and slips his tongue into her mouth and he lets his hand go from her cheek to her hair…it's so silky, and her skin is soft to the touch.
They find themselves lost in this kiss, and the first taste of the person that has been in their hearts for so long now. When they finally pull away and just look in each other's eyes, Makoto can feel the warmth of her love for him completely filling her body. She only has one thought, as she stares in wonder into his eyes.
I want to be the mother of your children, Ren.