XLVI
Taking the fall
The Island
Outside the woods
The world seems different to April. The sky is covered in grey clouds like it has been since she arrived, and there is still a slight chill in the air as the wind blows. Everything is just how it has been, however it all seems so different.
The second dawn arrives, April manages to leave Jack Gruntler's house without being noticed by anyone. She takes Will's gun and leaves, leaving him to sleep. However he awakes and watches her go. Yet the second she passes through the bedroom doors, she does not walk out into the hallway, but she finds herself on top of the cliff. The Tardis only steps away.
A shiver runs down April's spine as she can just about see the top of the Black Lighthouse over the edge of the cliff to her left. The sound of the waves can be heard. But April dares not to step close enough to the edge to see the beach. She does not need to see the beach one last time before her death.
The Tardis looks as welcoming as ever. She can feel the ship calling for her, inviting her to come inside. And so she does. She walks towards the Tardis and pushes open the wooden door.
The console room looks exactly same as it always does and the Tardis gives out friendly rumble. April slowly closes the door behind her and makes her way along the metal flooring towards the console. When she eventually reaches the console, she hesitates for a moment before she leans forward and places a gentle hand on the green tube spurting out the centre of the console. As she does this, the green lights brighten ever so slightly and the Tardis rumbles once more.
For the next few moments as April walks around the console, admiring everything about it, she starts to wonder why the Doctor never used the Tardis more often. In the sense that whenever they landed in a fight or trouble, why did he never jump into the Tardis, go back a few hours or more to stop it from happening? She quickly realises that it must be something to do with being stuck in a timeline. Yet the Doctor always taught April that time is never linear. Something can go back in time and rewrite events. It is only the Battle of the Cytracik that cannot be rewritten. And that is why April knows she has to do what she has to do.
The Tardis rumbles again. Not in a comforting way like normal, but more in such a way like the ship is trying to tell her something. April, however, does not think twice before turning around. The console chair is behind her, and lying on top is the Time Book she found in the library in Antarctica.
April picks up the book and flicks through the pages, briefly seeing the written conversations she used to have with the Tardis. Unfortunately since she came to the Island, these conversations have stopped. But when April flicks to the last empty page, words immediately start to appear.
The Black Lighthouse will be nothing more than an empty shell after this. And so will the Cytracik. The Island will not be obliterated. It will live on.
April reads the words on the pages a few times before closing the book. Her actions are slow, lazy and somewhat lifeless. She drops the book back onto the chair as if throwing it to one side before turning back to the Tardis console once more.
The Tardis stops humming. And there is only silence.
April allows herself to remember all the memories she has had in this ship. Yet the one that sticks out the most is her first encounter inside this ship. The Doctor was hoping her to comment on the fact it is bigger on the inside. Yet this fact didn't really surprise her. She was more questioning about the fact that the Doctor pushes the doors open when it clearly says to pull.
She glances down at the glowing console, her eyes fixing on a black leaver. Right beside it, hidden cleverly amongst all the green light is a small dial. Without thinking twice about it, April twists the dial.
At first there is nothing, and then there is the Doctor's voice.
"This is emergency program 0.00505. This is not the same as emergency program one where it means that I must be against an enemy. I repeat this is emergency program 0.00505. And if this is triggered than it can only mean that we have lost the Battle of the Cytracik."
Startled by the sound of the Doctor's voice, April slowly makes her way around the console. Standing on the other side, looking directly to the doors is the Doctor. The moment she sees him, April stops mid step, her heart pounding in her chest.
The Doctor looks straight ahead as he speaks and every so often, his body flickers like an image. April quickly realises that it is only a hologram of the Doctor and that he is not actually there with her. April, still staring at the hologram of the Doctor, slowly approaches him. She walks around so that she is standing directly in front of him. His eyesight looks at her, not in the eyes but somewhere on her forehead. April remembers the first time meeting the Doctor as he showed up as a small hologram in her garden.
"The only people who know of this trigger will be Terry, Colonel Aaron Brimikawood, or Jack Gruntler. But the Colonel is dead so the other two will probably have triggered this. To clarify I have recorded this message the day the Battle of the Cytracik started. Declan Hollerford was powerful enough to open the Cytracik. This ended in himself and his wife, Suzette, being killed by the Daleks. The consequence of the Cytracik is not clear. But Declan has asked me to save April and to look after her. Maxwell is nowhere in sight.
"But there is more to this message. The only reason why this message can be triggered is if we have lost the Battle. The shape shifters have won. And I am dead. Or at least about to die. The truth is if I die during the battle, I cannot regenerate. Time can erase itself but it cannot heal during this. But that's okay. I just hope that everyone else is still alive when I die.
"The only thing I ask of is five things. Very simple. But just five. The first is to send Rose Tyler home and keep her there. Perhaps erase her memory. Send Rose Tyler back to the Powell State in London. Back to her mother, Jackie Tyler. Whether or not you erase her memory is up to whoever triggered this message. If her memory of me or this battle will put her in danger as a target to the universe, then save her by letting her forget me.
"Secondly, I want you to find April Hollerford if I have not done so already. If I have then make sure she is okay. Make sure that she is happy and that she can live her life away from the Cytracik. I fear that what her father has done, it will affect her and Maxwell. She has a home in a cul-de-sac in Wandworth, south-west London. She will be safe there. Just keep her alive.
"The third thing is the Tardis. If I'm dead then the Tardis will not be able to function properly, unless there is someone else who can fly my ship. As far as I am aware there is no one. So for me, send it to Jack Gruntler. If you are Jack, then keep it," the Doctor then chuckles slightly. "Lock the door and let my ship to die. Bury it in your garden or use it as decoration. Whatever you fancy, Jack. The Tardis has a trick that nothing in the universe can find it. Aliens and human will walk past it but won't even give it a mere glance.
"The fourth thing is to never stop fighting to end this battle. There will be moments in the universe where nothing is happening and it seems that nothing is going for the Cytracik. But we're at the stage now where the news about the Cytracik and its power will have spread across the universe. Unfortunately I don't know what the shape shifter's plans are, but I am sure that they are preparing for something big. So please do whatever you can to destroy it. And I have to admit that even I don't know how to destroy it. But I believe in you to find out,
"And finally," the Doctor shifts his eyes so that he is looking directly into April's. "April Hollerford. We have had fun together," it is as if he is talking directly to her, like he knows that she is there. "I want you to be happy and I am so sorry if I never helped with that. You deserve the stars. You deserve to love. Please don't ever take the blame on yourself."
And with that, the Doctor's holographic image fades away.
April finds herself blindly walking through the village, heading towards the woods, not really thinking about what she is doing. Once again, April feels numb. But she lets her feet carry her through the streets.
Every so often flecks of rain fall on her skin. The sky seems to get darker as the morning passes, but April keeps walking.
Where would be a good place to die?
The question flies around April's mind for a while. Her first instinct is to return to the Black Lighthouse. But going there might put her in danger of being killed by the Cytracik. Instead she finds herself trudging towards the woods.
She eventually reaches the low wooden fence that runs along the perimeter of the field where the festival was only days before. And ignoring the main entrance, April climbs over the fence just like she did the first time she came here. She feels herself pass through the force field which still surrounds the woods.
The moment she is inside the field, the world outside is suddenly silenced.
The woods before her loom like ghosts. Memories of the Day of Destruction pass through her mind. She remembers running with Jason and his dislocated shoulder. She remembers fighting with Ellis before he was killed off. And then Morgarn. And then the ghosts of her parents...
Briefly, April closes her eyes and wishes her parents to be here with her. But then she feels it. She opens her eyes and there are no ghosts in sight, but it is as if their presence is there with her right now.
April shakes her head and slowly starts to walk through the field, almost feeling her parents follow her.
However, she only takes a few steps before she can hear a car driving at fast speed. Confused, April turns around and finds a red Ford Fiesta screeching to a halt outside the woods.
And then out steps the Doctor, followed by Terry.
The Doctor looks utterly panicked, almost as if he has been desperately trying to get something. But then he notices April standing in the field and relaxes a little.
"There you are!" The Doctor calls as he strides up to her. Terry, however, hangs back, very unsure. She folds her arms and hangs around by the car. She knows.
April hastily hides Will's gun in her back jean pocket and pulls down her red t-shirt to cover it.
"You scared me," the Doctor says, his voice forcefully light as he reaches her. "Aaron said something to me and I thought that you were..." the Doctor trails off as he tries to study April's scowl. "Is everything alright?" He asks carefully.
"Fine," April responds. "I mean it's as good as it gets."
The Doctor offers a small smile. "Anyway I was talking to Rose about destroying the Cytracik. I'll take you and Max to the black hole by Andrymia to send the Cytracik away."
"You really think that's going to work?"
The Doctor looks a little startled. "Well of course it is. It's the only way!" the Doctor then frowns. "Although Max seems to be in a deep sleep. We couldn't wake him."
April shakes her head. "He won't wake for a while." She whispers, her words inaudible.
"April, what?" The Doctor can't hear her.
"Sleeping potion," April says quickly. "He's taken a sleeping potion. He needs the sleep."
The Doctor stares at April for a while. His head cocked at a slight angle as he studies her face. There is something up. He knows it. But she isn't going to do what he dreads.
"I was also talking to Rose about where we're going to go next," the Doctor's voice is naively hopeful but it is clear that he is trying to keep his cool at the same time. "I was hoping to take you to the planet Dryaka. Rose has never been but it's fantastic. They have seas that stretch for miles and twice a day, the sea completely freezes over. You can walk over it. Oh and at night the stars in the sky are unbelievable. Nothing that you have ever seen before, April! You know, I feel like I haven't shown you enough of the universe yet. You've seen planet Zorlon and the fly market but there is so much more out there. I once took Rose to Barcelona. Not the city but the planet. Utterly brilliant and Rose loved it. I think you would too," the Doctor forces a grin and April can only helplessly stare at him. "But I think Dryaka is the next stop. And then we can fly to the galaxy Founda. It's a very small galaxy with hardly any planets. The galaxy is mainly overcome with black holes but there is this fascinating planet I'll take you to. What was it called? Floom? Or was it Koom? I can't remember but it's just brilliant. How would that sound? John Smith, Jackie Orman, Tiffany Jenner and Ms Robinson going on another adventure."
April nods. "So you're going to go there?"
The Doctor nods. "Well once the Cytracik is destroyed there is a lot of weight off our shoulders. I'll have the freedom to take you anywhere without this constant anxiety." He pats his chest, just where is heart is an for a very short moment, April suddenly feels guilty. She has brought so much anxiety to the Doctor because of the Cytracik.
"I'm certain this anxiety will go away for sure."
The Doctor looks at her quizzically. "Are you up for this trip of a lifetime, April Hollerford? Max is more than welcome to come along."
"I wish I could be," April forces a smile which does not reach her eyes. "The only problem is that I'm supposed to be saving your life as much as you're saving mine. Fact is you've already saved mine. Now I've got to save yours."
The Doctor and April look at each other for a while. For a second the Doctor holds his forced smile but it slowly drops as he looks at April. Then April places her hands on the Doctor's shoulders, reaches up and softly kisses him on the forehead. Then without another word, she takes slow steps away from the Doctor, not breaking their eye contact. The Doctor looks at her bemused and scared.
But she then draws out Will's gun.
"April, no!" The Doctor cries, running towards her, but April holds out her hand to stop him.
"Doctor, please hear me out. I'm saving your life here because if I don't do this then you will die and I can't let that happen."
"April, you don't know what you are doing."
"I'm doing what I failed to do when I was fourteen. If I succeeded then this battle would have been over years ago. But the truth is, no matter what, I will take the fall for you. This is my choice so don't ever blame yourself. Like you said in emergency protocol 0.00505."
April's words hit the Doctor like a bullet. His mouth is dry and he cannot form the words he wants to say.
"Doctor, I cannot thank you enough. The reason why Bruce couldn't kill me in those five years of living together was because of you and the trust my father had in you. But you saved me, Doctor. You saved my life from that shape shifter, and because of you, I have spent the last four or so years living a life that I temporarily loved. I was happy. You brought me UNIT. You brought me the stars, Doctor. You brought me back my brother. You showed me a way of living my life. But it's not going to last."
"April, you can't!" The Doctor cries.
"I have to. If I don't then you will die. The Cytracik will kill Max and I and it will latch onto Amelia. The universe will never be the same. But doing this will mean the end of the Cytracik forever. Doctor, I love you enough to do this. I'm saving your life because I can't risk losing you."
The Doctor shakes his head. He knows she is correct but he won't admit it.
"April," the Doctor says as he manages to pull himself together. "Just lower the gun. Please. And come here. We can sort this out. You got better. You overcame those demons. You stopped wanting to hurt yourself. Don't let those demons take over your mind again," the Doctor then carefully reaches out his hand. "Pass me the gun and we can leave here. We'll send the Cytracik into the black hole."
"Do you really believe Jack when he told you that?" April hisses.
The Doctor is on the brink of tears. "I should have never been so cold. I pushed you away. It's my fault."
"Don't you dare blame this on yourself, Doctor!" April snaps. "I have chosen to do this because I can't keep going on. You saved me, and that is what matters the most. I love you, Doctor. I love you like I do Rose, Terry, Will, my family and everyone from UNIT. And as fucked up this sounds, I am doing this for you. I'm saving your life."
"April, please," the Doctor chokes. "Don't do this."
"Just remember me, okay?" April takes another step back, wanting there to be some distance between herself and the Doctor. Then holding Will's gun in her left hand, she raises it to her temple. She breathes in steadily. Out the corner of her eye, far behind the Doctor, she can see Terry standing by the car, unmoving.
The Doctor stands there, slightly hunched over with his hand still stretched out towards her. He looks helpless and terrified at the same time. His mouth hangs open as if he is silently screaming.
"Goodbye, my love." April says, her voice being carried away by the wind.
And then she pulls the trigger.