Chapter 28: Don't Forget the Romance in Your Relationship
by lightpathetic
"MOTHER, I'VE TRIED BUT HE INSISTS THAT HE NEEDS TO WORK."
"He's such a bastard. He knows how nervous we get when he separates us like this..."
"Don't go, Mother! Stay here. Tell him you won't go!"
"Shizuka, are you all right? You've said very little in the last hour."
"I didn't want to disturb you, Kaname, while you were working…"
Kaname flipped over the page in his folder but his demeanour seemed less tense. Indulgent.
"I appreciate that. Thank you. Now what are your concerns?"
Shizuka's lips curled a little in exasperation as she turned from the view from the car ride to him.
"So, you think you can read my mind?"
"Your mind, no. Your moods, yes."
"How boring for you."
Kaname picked up his briefcase, opened it and secured the paperwork he was reading into it before sliding over on the seat and leaning forward to where Shizuka sat opposite on the other side of the limousine, if it can be called that. The car was indeed long, sleek and luxurious but sat low from the weight and Shizuka suspected it as a whole was armour-plated, bullet-proofed and capable of returning fire.
"You're never boring, Shizuka. Between the urges to strangle you and to kiss you, I'm well entertained."
"Well, seeing as you were warned off the latter, I shall be on my guard for the numerous attempts on my life."
Kaname gave her a rather incredulously startled look before straightening his stance.
"We'll be arriving soon. I would like to discuss my expectations, if I may."
His sounded stern but his eyes were dancing in mischief. He seemed in the mood to tease her. Put her at ease, perhaps. Probably sensed she was scared witless.
"I'm listening."
"First, I want you to give me a chance."
"To do what?"
"You know what, Shizuka."
"I knew it! You've brought me all the way out here to seduce me!"
"Not entirely. I do want the renovations done and the party… but…"
"Kaname, I've already told you, there's no way I will sleep with…"
Kaname raised his hand and closed his eyes and Shizuka came to a halt. She could tell that he was trying to gather his thoughts and his temper. He eventually moved but came to sit beside her.
"I have to admit I have little patience these days for higher morality in all this craziness. What I'm about to do could get me killed. Hell," Kaname continued, only pausing to stretch his neck a little to ease his tension, "the circumstances around my very existence can get me killed. So, if I seem a little tense, irritable or dismissive, I apologize in advance."
Shizuka, to her credit, sidestepped the rant on morality and focused on what he was trying to tell her.
"What are you about to do, Kaname?"
Kaname reached over and took her hand. She let him. He seemed… haunted.
"I don't want to talk about the war with you. I have many reasons but mainly, I don't want to involve you all in this ugliness. Haven't you noticed that I have placed you all out in the middle of nowhere in the seat of paradise, far away from where so many people die every single day?"
"Perhaps you're underestimating my ability to understand and empathize…"
"No. I never underestimate you. Any of you. I just prefer it that way. It's what I need to stay sane and safe. The less you know, the more you stay out of trouble."
"Then… why bring me here?"
Kaname lifted his eyes from where their hands were clasped and looked into her face. Shizuka turned to look out of the window to avoid what she saw there.
"I'm tired of pretending where you're concerned, Shizuka. I don't have much time left and I'm impatient with the games."
"So, whatever you are planning can get you killed? How should I deal with knowing that, Kaname?
"Shizuka, that is the nature of war, and… I'm battling many Fronts."
"Then this is the game. This ridiculous pursuit of me when you should be thinking of survival."
Kaname looked away then, to the streets cleared forcibly in the Capital for his convoy to proceed. He wanted to give in. Wanted to so very much…
"What would you have me do?" Kaname said softly, almost too softly for her to hear. "Abdicate like that king in your story?"
Shizuka gasped and touched his cheek to make him look into her eyes.
"Kaname, do you mean it…?"
Kaname licked his lips and swallowed, the slight tremble stilling as he met her gaze.
"I don't mean it. Our lives will be worth nothing if I do that. As long as I wield this power, we all will live. As such, I will hold onto it. But therein lies the trap. While I hold it, you'll have a reason to deny me what I need to cope with it all. I'm sick of being in such a quandary…"
"Kaname, it is a quandary of your own making. Besides, no proper mother would hurt her sons this way. Even Zero hates…"
Shizuka stopped and put her free hand to her mouth. She'd almost…
"What? What about Zero?"
Shizuka shook her head.
"Forget I said anything."
Kaname's jaw worked as he watched her.
"So, I've hit the Kiriyuu wall of secrets."
"Stop it."
"If I marry into it, will it come down? To me, at least?"
"Kaname, you're speaking nonsense. A confidence is a confidence. Regardless."
"Then you will keep mine this way?"
"If it warrants it."
"I left early because if I'd stayed, I wouldn't have left. I would have told them all to go to hell and stayed. I saw Yuuki off and stood on the pier and thought, 'I have everything I need here'. Everything… Then common sense returned, along with the urge to leave before I did something stupid. I brought you with me to make my sacrifice bearable. Now you know."
Shizuka found herself touching his cheek again before she could stop herself. She could feel it was the truth. Perhaps, if it had all been different…
"I've never been afraid to die, Shizuka. I used to see it as escape. Then, I devoted my life to a cause and I became the better for it. I believe it saved my life. As I grew stronger, I learnt how to get out of situations that would easily have taken my life before. And, if I'd died during whatever battle, I would have the knowledge that I'd advanced it. That others would be saved. I've always had that as my comfort.
"Now… I have come to know… something else I want to live for and all the rest is nothing compared to it. Nothing. That warm afternoon lying on your lap listening to your voice, with Zero and Ichiru somewhere close by… I wanted nothing else. I was happy.
"Now my fear comes from losing what I've found with you all."
Shizuka's heart bled as she listened to him. She could feel his pain and it gnawed at her. Even as she watched him, she noticed the deep scarring on his neck that trailed from his old shoulder injury which usually showed above his collar, an indication of the harsh life he wanted to leave and, before she knew it, she had leaned in and pressed her lips to it, maybe hoping she could share his pain, take it or accept it, she didn't know. But it was the contact with his warm skin, his decidedly male scent in her nostrils that made her realise … her mistake. Temptation to take more for herself hung there between them and she pulled away quickly, her face burning in embarrassment and…
Kaname's eyes roved her face hungrily before closing the distance between their lips as if he were tired fighting the pull of gravity. He cupped the back of her head and held her to him as he deepened it, his body clamouring to be closer, to melt into her.
Shizuka was having a similar difficulty. His merest touch always set off a certain longing within her for him, much less the kisses. She moaned as her body ached for more, as she lapped then sucked his lips. She'd been dying to do that. She pulled away though, scared her body would ignite, but Kaname's hand left her neck to slip beneath her legs and scooped her onto his lap, before he drove his tongue into her mouth again, the tip fencing with hers in a way fairly predictive of what he would do to the engorged nub his hand was now sliding up her thigh towards. Shizuka moaned into his mouth as her eyes lidded, her legs parting to indicate a need that Kaname read equally as well, his fingers reaching the edge of her stockings and the heat of her. His digits soon met the thin lacy barrier of her underwear, and…. He groaned and pulled away from her kiss as he removed his hand to cover his face and inhale. He then lifted her and dropped her onto the seat, splaying her legs as he followed his sudden urge to kiss her… elsewhere.
This move shocked Shizuka. So much so, she pushed him away. She slid away from his grasp and scrambled to the seat opposite, straightening her clothes and trying to hide a painful blush.
"What happened?" Kaname demanded. "Why did you stop?"
Shizuka didn't answer. She was in a bit of shock and embarrassment. He'd upended her to…
God.
"Did I scare you, is that it? I'm sorry, I… I've done this with you so many times in my mind… I forgot that… I'm sorry, Shizuka, please…" Kaname was stammering, flushed and in a panic. What just happened, her kissing him like that, was more than he could have hoped for. Now…
"It's just as well, Kaname. It was a mistake. I… lost my head. I'm sorry if I led you on…"
"'Led me'…? What the devil are you on about?"
"It was a mistake." Shizuka repeated firmly.
Kaname thumped the seat in frustration then shoved his fingers cruelly into his hair to remove it from his face as Shizuka sought to ignore his discomfiture. She looked down at her hands, still trembling from the kiss and… other things, to notice the strand of his hair. She'd been holding his head to her lips. Shit. She couldn't hide from that, could she? Oh yes, he had a great visual of how… prepared she was for him… before she'd chickened out.
Shizuka closed her eyes on her blurred vision as she felt her self-loathing increase. Why couldn't she resist…?
"I promise I won't hurt you, Shizuka. Any of you. If you want to keep our involvement a secret, we can. But I can't live this way anymore, pretending I don't need you… this way. It's affecting m… it's a distraction I don't need."
"What else did you want to discuss?" Shizuka finally intoned, calmly wiping her cheeks with her hands. It was then that Kaname recoiled from leaning towards her and closed his eyes to compose himself. He then lay across the seat in front of her, pointedly ignoring her.
They stayed like this in silence until the convoy arrived at the gates to the new headquarters of the Monolith Regime.
"NO WAY. NO WAY! ABSOLUTELY NOT!"
"Shizuka, there is more than enough room in this apartment for us to share it."
Shizuka turned to look the stiff soldier to her left in the eye.
"Kaname, when we spoke, you'd promised a separate apartment..."
"I promised no such thing. This place is huge and already secure. There are two separate bedrooms, one each for two adults. Plus, I've already explained I'll hardly be here. There is no point in finding and outfitting another apartment when this is here.
"End of discussion."
Shizuka sputtered in anger.
"End of what?"
"You heard me. I can close down negotiations completely on my own just as well as you."
"Ohhh…" Shizuka turned away from him if only to save him from harm. "You're such a child!"
"You don't know the half of it. Put those in there," Kaname ordered to the soldiers carrying luggage around them.
"It that a threat?"
Kaname gave her a sharp look before he went over to the windows. The soldiers were still present so they could not speak freely. Shizuka watched helplessly as her things were taken to a room directly opposite where his bags were being taken.
The apartment itself wasn't bad. Just a little too ornate for her taste. Gold-leaf covered moulding was everywhere, including the ceilings. She understood quite well why Kaname wanted it torched. She eventually wandered over to the windows. The view of the courtyard, though, was wonderful. There were hedgerows and flowering plants where the flagstones didn't cover the area. It was a hive of activity. Soldiers and civilians walked, ate lunch and laughed. It wasn't what she had pictured it to be. She hadn't expected this much… colour.
Eventually a senior officer announced their mission was finished and Kaname dismissed them. They were finally alone.
"Let me give you a tour."
Kaname marched quickly and tightly over to his room. He was even still carrying his cap under his arm.
"This is my room. As you can see, it needs work."
She did.
He didn't venture inside with her, only waiting until she turned back to him. He then exited and went over to a closed door and opened it.
"This is the bathroom. We'll share it."
"Kaname," she began, but she was interrupted (ignored).
"Over there is your room and this is the living area. You'll see there is a dining area in the back and a breakfast area outside on the balcony."
Shizuka nodded, thinking she could rework a few things. Kaname noticed.
"I'll leave you to settle in. I'll be gone several days. Commander Souen will assign an officer to you for your safety and will inform you of my requirements. She will also let you know how to charge everything required to my name. You have free reign of the Capital and of the unsecured areas within the headquarters. My one stipulation is that you prioritise my office. Come with me."
Kaname headed outside at this, leaving her to follow, which she did. They headed down the hallway towards a corner which then led to a set of double doors on the right at the head of a flight of stairs. All the while, Shizuka got to eye with trepidation Kaname's stiff bearing. She could get used to it, she thought. She could persuade herself she preferred it to how... he was… in the car…
God, he did sexy well.
"In here."
Shizuka followed the order like a good staff member, entering the double doors to a large room. The space was empty and echoed as Kaname continued to another pair of doors.
"This is my office."
Kaname stayed at the doors but waited as Shizuka passed him and looked around. It was equally empty. There was a similar view of the courtyard from several large windows but no balcony here. Shizuka noticed the windows were already changed. She touched them and felt their thickness.
"Bullet proofing," he edified, as he stood there watching her. She nodded.
"Well? What do you think?"
Shizuka looked back at Kaname. He turned away from her gaze, seemingly impatient to be away. From her. She sighed.
"I'll see what I can do."
"Good. Commander Souen will contact you in the morning. Get some rest."
Kaname turned to go. Shizuka ran after him.
"Wait! You're really going now?"
"Yes. I have a war to run."
"Wait!" She said again as he didn't stop. "What about meals? There's no…"
"Your meals will be brought to you until you install a kitchen in the apartment." He said this like it were obvious.
"Right."
Shizuka stopped then in the hallway and looked around. She looked intimidated. Kaname stopped when he noticed the lack of footsteps, quite losing his fight against the urge to relent. He wanted to punish her. He wanted her on edge. He wanted her to suffer the indifference she showed him.
Still…
"Everyone is aware of your… importance to me. If you need anything, just ask.
"Goodbye."
With that Kaname disappeared from her life. Her new life in an enormous foreign Capital.
"MOTHER, STOP CRYING…"
"It's huge and I'm aloooone…"
Shizuka did have a flare for the dramatic when she was ready. She eventually sniffled to a stop, however. She felt better.
"Otherwise, you're okay?" Zero asked tentatively. Shizuka sighed. She hadn't told them what had happened. She should, but… She blushed again. Before she'd gotten up from her daze on the bed onto which she'd thrown herself in frustration, and unpacked with a vengeance, she'd found herself thinking about his sensuous mouth and where he'd been… headed…
"I'm fine. Really. Just furious…"
"He isn't taking our calls…"
"He's travelling. I think something big is about to happen."
"I see," Zero responded cautiously.
"He mentioned it. And, said he might die," Shizuka was feeling a little spiteful given his attitude when he'd left her.
"Do you want us to come there?"
Yes. YES!
"No. I'll… be fine," Shizuka responded, unwilling to have them risk themselves. One thing they were at the Estate was safe. "I'll give you a call tomorrow."
"We want reports, Mother," Ichiru informed, suddenly vocal after the waterworks had ended. "Tell us what it's like."
"I will darling. Goodbye."
"Bye."
"Bye."
Shizuka replaced the receiver and lay back in her bed. Her heavy windows were peeped open as far as they would go and she could hear the fall of footsteps on the flagstones below. They were only four storeys up so the bustle of activity below communicated itself to their rooms. She was too anxious to sleep.
Shizuka got to her feet, shoved them into her shoes, pulled her fuchsia cashmere robe around her and headed for the door.
She may as well make her presence known. Maybe it will get back to a certain jerk that she was at least annoying.
"…AND MA'AM, THIS IS THE BASEMENT."
"The first secure vault, Edwards."
"Ma'am."
Shizuka moved into the space, if she can call it that. Every which way was rammed full with canvases, statues and sculptures of every kind, divided thoughtfully by narrow rows for human traffic. It was a smorgasbord of artistic expression all relegated to never seeing the light of day. Tears came to her eyes at the futility of thousands of hours of enthusiastic, inspired effort as she waded in and had a look at everything. All these homages to their god, that just lay in here to gather dust. There should be a museum. Let other people see it and be inspired. Escape their own harsh existence.
Of course, she had visited the Capital when she was a girl, including the religious enclave. Back then, there were only able to have access to the courtyard and the main cathedral where they'd caught a glimpse of the religious leader holding mass. She never dreamed that she would be able to see half the rooms that she was now walking through with impunity. She was nigh overwhelmed. Just navigating the place to get here, she'd spied intricately carved columns, gold, silver and bronze inlaid ceilings, walls, floors and windows, tapestries of the finest detail, artwork hung too closely on the walls. Beneath her sensible pumps were hand-painted tiles of various episodes from the holy book…
There is no way she could do this. She was mad to come here. Mad…
"Ma'am are you okay?"
"Yes, thank you. It's just that I never thought I'd see this place, you know?"
"Ma'am?"
The soldier looked at her ward in concern. When Shizuka was spotted wandering around, which was before she'd gotten to the bottom of the stairwell leading to the Leaders' Quarters, a tidy brunette female soldier with shapely red lips and biceps the size of a healthy squash, was beside her in short order, still securing her holster – and gun – about her rumpled uniform. By the time Shizuka got to the main thoroughfare, she was professionally sorted, in hot contrast to Shizuka's bed hair and lacy slip peeking from the lapped cloth on her robe. Her name was given as Sergeant Stephanie Edwards. Shizuka introduced herself and asked to call her "Stephanie", which she politely declined and offered "Sergeant Edwards", which Shizuka politely declined. They'd settled on just "Edwards". Although, much to her annoyance and possible detriment with her boss, Shizuka insisted on telling curious people that "Stephanie was showing her around…"
Shizuka fluffed her hair, a motion to hide her loss of composure. Her silver and blonde hair was quite long now and just touched the top of her thighs. She almost always wore it pinned securely to her head, so Kaname hadn't a clue. Just that she was done with those infernal headscarves. She cleared her throat.
"Never mind. Just give me half an hour to look around and I'll be right up, okay? You'll be in bed by one o'clock. Promise."
"Yes, Ma'am."
So, this was how Shizuka started her first morning in this place, wandering around a massive underground vault. It was a good tonic. She began to realise from the sheer scale of endeavour that towered over her almost insignificant frame that there was more to life than her own troubles. Was it really so bad that a seriously hot soldier was trying to get into her drawers? Probably not. He had not succeeded and he had fled. Time to indulge in life again.
"I'll be back tomorrow. After I visit his office," Shizuka whispered to the two-storey tall statue of a solemn angel with the wingspan of an airplane.
"Ma'am?"
"Nothing. I'm tired. Do you remember the way out?"
SO, OVER THE NEXT SEVERAL WEEKS, Shizuka did her best to carry out the various renovations, all while taking the car assigned to her out into the Capital to wander around, – with her minder - and making note of all the treasures she would set up in the building she'd chosen for the museum. She was very busy and Kaname had been gone a long time. The only indication of life outside of this place was Commander Souen's tension as she tried to cope with her order of flooring samples. Kaname hadn't called her once. But she carried on. She was almost finished with Kaname's office and had started the apartment, which she pretended was being redone for the "Leaders", as they put it. She knew Yuuki also had simple tastes so there was a neutral but warm palette and she went from there…
"Daniel! Lift it higher! That's it. Higher!"
Shizuka, dressed in her favourite workman's attire, a simple blue cotton buttoned-down shirt and brown pedal-pushers, marched forward to the centre of the room and gestured frantically at a young blonde man standing precariously on top of a ladder.
"That's it! That's where I want it. Thank you, Danny!"
The young man was rewarded with a wide smile and he felt like he'd won the lottery that day. He reached to take his hammer out of his toolbox but nearly dropped it when he saw who was standing at the door watching the proceedings. Suddenly Shizuka was surrounded by saluting soldiers.
She turned around, quite expecting to see Commander Souen when…
"Second Leader, Sir!"
"Kaname! I mean…" Shizuka was flustered. She'd spent over a month with very formal soldiers so she felt the need to also be formal. "Second Lead…"
"Shizuka," Kaname said firmly, entering the room from leaning on the doorjamb. Heaven knew how long he'd been there. "I see you've been very busy."
"Kaname, please. Tell them they're at ease, for goodness' sake." She was worried about the ones on the ladders. Like Daniel.
Kaname removed his eyes from her face, to the soldiers in the room. There was increased tension as he searched their faces. Shizuka recognised his mood. He got like this when he returned sometimes. Like it offended him to find her decorating, or existing in relative calm while the world went to shit around them. He was currently directing his resentment to the soldiers around him. They were comfortable while people died. He was probably memorising their faces to send them to the Front.
"Shizuka, Sergeant Coulter is trained to keep that position for as long as I required it of him. Is that not right, Sergeant?"
"Sir, yes Sir!"
The ladder shook as he shouted this and Shizuka found herself heading to hold it for him. This was when she felt a hand on her arm.
"Carry-on."
"Sir!"
The activity resumed in the room as the two stood staring at each other joined by his hand on her arm. His look was unreadable, she had time to notice his hair was much shorter. So, it had been that bad.
"Have lunch with me?"
"Of course, Kaname. Let me take a shower and change."
He ran his eyes over her, head to toe. He appeared impatient with her request but then he nodded.
"Fine."
Shizuka looked down at his hand on her arm. He seemed reluctant to release her so she could leave but did eventually upon her scrutiny. She moved toward the exit but paused at the doorway to suggest to the senior officer present to let them take a break for a couple hours. She wanted them away from Kaname but they ignored her until she eyed Kaname again, not looking too much like taking her shower until she got what she wanted. Kaname held her gaze for a long while until his hunger got the better of him, she supposed…
"Dismissed! Return at fifteen hundred."
"Sir! Yes, Sir!"
"HOW LONG WILL YOU BE HERE?"
Kaname reached for a bread roll and broke it to wipe his bowl, leaving the question hanging without hope of rescue, as was his custom. Shizuka began to feel rather silly as she'd only heard her own voice since his order to the soldiers working on his bedroom. She settled her gaze back onto her bowl and resumed her vegetable soup, thinking she had to catch up or he will begin the main course without her.
Kaname bit his piece of bread relatively daintily, for him, and looked into her face. That was what he was doing; eating and staring at her. He'd been without contact to any of them. He'd been too busy, for one, out of range for the luxury of personal calls, two, and trying to wean himself off of his reliance on them, three. He was currently staring at her, looking for all the defects he'd told himself existed. Every chasm of a wrinkle, every gratingly posh inflection in her tone, she was too flat chested, he'd even told himself. And she was a drain on their resources. They all were. The money that she had spent in the last month alone was enough to feed a small village for a year. He just needed to order those same soldiers to come get her and take her from there. And he would be free at last. Free of this…
She smelled good. He'd almost forgotten her scent. Such a good change from decay and mortar shells; raw sea spray and gasoline fires. He wanted to bury his face in her…
No. That was his mistake before. Didn't he figure out she wanted a gentleman? That she'd wanted someone like Tak… like him.
Shizuka noticed how he looked at her and raised her eyes again to him. She began to search his face, noting the play of emotions there, from anger to despair. It was not unfamiliar. A few times, he came home and didn't speak for a day. It was a factor in letting him sleep in. He sometimes wore his fatigue and irritability like a badge of honour for them to endure and, after her coffee table had bought it during a query on his journey back, she'd usually leave him alone in this mood.
And let him sleep.
But he wanted to have lunch and she was… not as secure in her surroundings as she'd been before, not as assured of her support from her sons and the other personnel. She was alone, nervous and curious about where she stood.
Kaname met her gaze brazenly. He could feel it, dammit. Yes. That familiar reaction to her presence. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to very badly. What on earth was stopping him? She was still here in his apartment despite the latitude he'd allowed her to have - she was picking out buildings for a museum, for fuck's sake. Like he wanted that security nightmare.
Didn't she realise what that meant? At least to him?
Shizuka looked away from his gaze and to the hovering attendant.
"Thank you, Martha. We're ready for the next course."
Kaname too looked away but to the activity below. He'd waited for her at the dining table on the inside which she had placed nearer the windows, his mind so far away he didn't even notice when she'd emerged in a white sheath dress with large hibiscus printed onto it until she'd spoken his name. But now, they were sitting on the balcony enjoying the sun on their faces.
Shizuka did not look at the scenery as much as Kaname. She'd had time to appreciate the weather and the stunning scenery since the rain had mercifully relented eleven days ago.
"Is that a new dress?"
Shizuka nearly cleared her skin. She'd been pretending to arrange cutlery when he'd finally spoken.
"Yes! I bought it last week. In the market. I've been waiting for an excuse to wear it."
"It suits you."
"Thank you."
Shizuka saw him clench his fists and looked away. She saw it, saw that he was making the effort to come back to her. She reached out and grabbed his fists before she could stop herself. She still remembered what he'd tried to tell her before, in the car. The part that had really mattered.
Kaname's eyes darted to hers in surprise just as the attendant, a woman of some seniority and impeccable training, appeared in the doorway and stopped, unwilling to intrude. But she was spotted. Shizuka pulled away and beckoned her on.
"You'll feel better after your meal. Don't bother to speak. I'll be here when you're ready."
And there it was, a simple compliment of a dress, that gave Shizuka the assurance she needed that the Kaname she knew was still with her.
"I LIKE… WHAT YOU'VE DONE."
Shizuka gasped in astonishment, nearly dropping her book. He moved like a panther!
"I didn't realise you were up!"
"I only just woke up. The thick shades in my room were drawn and I've 'misplaced' the alarm clock I remember putting on the side table."
"That's terribly careless, Kaname. If I didn't know better, you were setting yourself up for a nice long lie-in."
"But you do know better."
Kaname came out onto the balcony where she sat at the table and sat next to her, carrying the cup of coffee he'd poured from the kettle on the stove. He was still in his uniform's trousers as she'd left him in. She'd removed the belt, so it hung low on his hips exposing the waistband on his briefs. She looked away before her eyes roved his exposed torso for any duration.
She'd had a good look last night anyway, unable to stop herself from checking for new injuries when she'd gone into his room to sabotage his effort to rise early his first morning back. She felt her entitlement. It was no less than what she would have instructed Seiren to execute. He was okay physically, she'd realised as she carefully removed his shirt. Just a few minor scratches. She gave his personal guard points for effort. He hardly stirred; he was so exhausted. But when he did, he seemed to settle when she stroked his face and hair.
When she was satisfied he wouldn't feel the need to wake up to undress properly, she stole his alarm clock and his watch and closed the shades.
She was expert at this.
Kaname's eyes met hers in a knowing look, his lips twisting in affectionate frustration when she looked away.
"Thank you, Shizuka. I feel better."
"Good. I'll go make us something…"
"Wait. Stay with me. Just a little while."
"Then let me order something brought up…"
"Sit."
"…Or I could stay here a while."
Kaname drank some more from his cup as he looked over the activity below.
"Commander Souen tells me you like it here. Do you?"
Shizuka smiled to cover her lack of preparation for that question. Did she?
She'd adapted. She called her sons every day. She went out around the Capital each day for breakfast, lunch or dinner and, of course, shopping. She chatted with new acquaintances – she wouldn't call them friends until they knew who she was and she hadn't the heart to tell them – in marketplaces, restaurants, hardware stores, shops and couturiers alike and honed another language. She spent the rest of her day overseeing work at, and exploring, the Enclave or reading books from the vast libraries on the grounds, even sneaking out some of the "forbidden" ones – do you believe they kept them? – to read at night under a lamp in her bed.
She now knew more sexual positions than her sons – somehow it came up during a conversation one night when she'd had quite a bit of wine with dinner.
But did she like it here? She never once relaxed while she was here. Not like when she was in her library at home. She was surrounded by the enemy. Loud knocks on her door made her think Kaname or Yuuki had ordered her arrested. When she picked expensive upholstery, she wondered about being brought before the firing squad for wastefulness.
And Kaname had never called. Not once. That hadn't helped her nerves one bit.
"It's lovely, Kaname. But I miss home. My sons."
Kaname shook his head and downed the last of his coffee.
"They're big boys, Shizuka. Isn't it good to be off by yourself for a change?"
"Like you were?"
Kaname sighed and placed his mug on the glass table.
"The last thing I was, was 'off by myself', Shizuka."
"I know. I'm sorry for what you went through. Was there a defeat?"
Kaname looked away to the distance. Despite their height, the surrounding wall obscured even a glimpse of the city. But the sky and the peaks of the mountains offered a gorgeous view.
"I want you to stay… a while longer. Can you do that? For me?"
He was asking? Shizuka thought about it.
"I'm almost finished with your room…" And his office was nearly ready. He just had to return his furnishings, okay the new ones. He had his own secured desk and custom chair.
"You still have your other projects to finish up. And… we never got to spend any time together."
"That's true..."
"I'm sorry about… how we left things before. I was weak. It won't happen again."
"I see."
"There are so many, far younger people I can concern myself with, as you say."
"…Yes…" Shizuka tried not to show her irritation as he said that.
"But, if you don't mind." Kaname finally turned back to look her in the eye. "Before you go, I'd like you to stay with me, as a friend, as I relax. Besides, I still owe you your treat for your hard work..."
"No, you don't, Kaname. This place is more than I ever imagined…"
"I'm glad, Shizuka. But I insist. I haven't been out to any of the attractions yet. It would be nice to do so before… Before I can't find the time."
Kaname looked back off into the distance again but said nothing more. Shizuka nodded and took his mug to bring him another cup before she went in and made them breakfast.
She knew as she set the pan on the stove and hunted in the cupboards for eggs that she would stay as long as he needed her.
It's what any friend would do.
"NO! HA HA!"
Shizuka covered her mouth to stifle her laugh as Kaname sat near her, bemused by the antics onstage.
They were watching a comic opera. This time with an audience, she having impressed upon Kaname that it was no fun without other people in attendance, for them or the players. They were in a box, though, alone, and Kaname was holding her hand, though gloved. He was quite happy, even though the proceedings were not to his taste.
This night followed other nights of restaurants, theatres and other venues. They'd been out every night, Shizuka having made the mistake of giving Kaname a list of what the Capital had to offer. Other people turned up to find their bookings cancelled and the place closed. Or, at least, visibly. Kaname had to think of his own security and he hardly compromised on it. This packed opera house was thus a rare occurrence.
Kaname winced at the high note but Shizuka swatted him and leaned forward with her theatre glasses. She was wearing a bronze, silk, figure hugging dress with flare that elongated slightly into a small train. Her shoulders were bare but she wore a gauzy shimmering wrap to keep her warm. Her ears and neck shimmered with diamonds. She was breath-taking. He was content just watching her be happy. It was the only thing that seemed to ignite his weary soul now. Since…
No. Don't think about it now.
She made an effort, bless her. She'd worn a new dress every night, a flower in her hair and simple jewellery from her small collection – she hadn't packed any of his gifts and he'd forgotten to "remind" her. That is, until he'd borrowed some pieces from the local suppliers. He liked to see her in jewels. He liked to see her cared for. Especially when he surpassed anything she'd experienced before. He was already happy that he'd thought to invite her here to the Capital. She loved this place. It fed her compassionate nature. And he loved that, despite the impasse over opening a museum on the grounds and even allowing mass again in the enormous cathedral at the head of the courtyard.
"No! He's going to try again, the brat!"
The audience gasped and laughed. Kaname looked over to the stage rather than at the pin in her hair he wanted to remove. He'd actually raised his hand this time.
"Who?"
"Kaname, if you can't follow tonight. We'll have to come back on Thursday."
Kaname did give her a horrified look which she took as a maybe. She turned back to the stage at which point she felt a hand on her back. She turned again, thinking he wanted her attention but she caught the look… before returning her gaze back to the stage and away from it.
"I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU INSIST ON COMING to the opera. It's not your thing."
"No. But you love it."
"I can go with the boys if you'd prefer something else. There's a sporting match not far from here now…"
"Really? Ichiru likes the Opera?!"
"He used to. We haven't been since they were children, though…"
Shizuka trailed off and pulled her wrap closer around her. Kaname took off his jacket and placed it onto her shoulders. The car was more than a minute coming to the side entrance.
"It's a lovely night. It would be nice to walk the ten-minute trek back…"
"You're saying your heels would survive these cobblestones?"
"That's what a strong masculine arm is for."
Kaname thought about it and stepped out of the door to the alley. He then held up his arm for her to take. Shizuka shook her head.
"No! I understand why you can't…!"
"Come, I want to do it. The car and guards can follow us in case there is trouble."
Shizuka took his arm and was led out onto the sidewalk.
"So far so good. Which way?" Kaname asked. Shizuka gave him an incredulous look. Was he kidding or…?
"Guess."
Kaname looked around exaggeratedly and up. The close buildings made getting his bearings impossible. Still…
"It's this way," he said without hesitation and began to lead her towards the city's centre. She giggled and went with him.
"I almost believed you! What a leader!"
"It's all in the tone and body language. Are you challenging my authority?"
"I wouldn't dare! I'm sure our fearless leader meant to take a more circuitous route."
"You wanted to walk. Let's walk."
"You are so stubborn."
They ended up along the main thoroughfare where the rest of the audience mingled and chatted. Kaname looked around again then headed right…
"Are you deliberately trying to get us lost?"
"Do you mean…?"
"Not even close…"
"We should have taken the car…"
"Follow me, you moron."
"Yes, Ma'am."
Shizuka turned them around and they headed back up the alleyway. They were walking companionably in silence before Kaname spoke again. This was when they'd passed the foot of the tallest building in the Capital, where they'd had dinner three nights earlier on the roof. It had been spectacular. Especially, as there was no restaurant in the office building. Kaname had arranged everything and surprised her.
"You're right. This is nice."
Shizuka smiled up into his face.
"It's a beautiful city. It's like everything was inspired into being by romance."
"'Romance'?"
"Yes. Imagine walking along this square with your lover. The sound of the running water, the cool breeze, the complement to your senses of the architecture. By the time you arrive home you're inspired to… well… be romantic."
Kaname looked down at her but she was miles away from him in her mind. He stopped to make her focus on him, dammit.
"Who are you waiting for, Shizuka?"
"Sorry?"
Floodlights hit them from behind and they realised their car had found them. Kaname made a sweeping motion with his hand and the lights turned off. Shizuka looked over at the enormous fountain which was fed by a natural spring, she'd learned, and the milling lovers and other persons who did look at them oddly. She waved.
"Be honest with me. Do you prefer Takuma?"
"Who…?"
"Tell me."
Shizuka tried to pull away from him but Kaname held the closure of his jacket and pulled her against him.
"I want to know why I'm not good enough for you."
Shizuka seemed appalled by the suggestion. Is that what he…?
"Kaname, I told you why. At least Takuma isn't involved with my sons. I don't know why you insist on having me as well…"
"I want you. I want to crack that frosty exterior and make you scream my name. I want to lose myself inside you and lick you until you're dry. I want to give you a reason to look at me and only me, to know I am capable of driving you as insane as you do me. And I want to wake up inside you and do it all over again the next day…"
"Kaname, stop it…"
"I'm driven crazy by you, by needing you and I can't understand why you can't see me…"
"Kaname, I do see you. But…"
Kaname cupped her head and kissed her, his right hand going lower to press her against him, to where he needed her. Shizuka felt the intense response of his body, and hers. His heat, his body did call to her. It always had. And it scared her how much. That's what made her fight. She couldn't give in to this obvious danger to her family. She couldn't!
Shizuka pushed against him and turned her head. Kaname grabbed her arms and pulled them outward as he backed her against a wall. He pressed himself again against her and groaned low as he let her feel what she did to him. Shizuka was trying to summon her rage, but her body betrayed her, her eyes glazing tellingly as she tried to escape. Soon she couldn't. Not herself.
"That's it. Don't forget I know how wet you are right now."
"Kaname…"
"I've felt you before. I wonder if you're in the same rose printed panties. Shall I look?"
"Please, just…"
Kaname kissed her again. This time he forced himself to be gentle, sensual, softer using his tongue until she opened to him. He stifled his groan but his breaths stiffened as he delicately explored her mouth. He felt her slide her tongue against him, tasting him and his sanity tried to desert him. However, that happened when he released her hands to hold her head to his searching lips and her hands slipped restlessly over the smooth material of his white shirt and cummerbund.
Shizuka gasped as Kaname tore his lips away from hers and attacked her neck. She winced as he sucked the skin as his hands glided lower, knocking her shawl and his jacket to the ground as he cupped her behind. He then pressed himself against her again and groaned aloud. She was becoming lost to why she needed to…
There was a loud whistle and then laughter. Shizuka opened her eyes to a small crowd watching them.
"Kaname. Stop. We can't do this here.
"Kaname…!"
Shizuka was cut off by another kiss as hands came up to cup her breast… No!
"Second Leader!"
This was when Kaname stepped away and looked at her in confusion. Then around to where they were. She was still leaning on the wall as Kaname fought to contain his breathing, his frank state of arousal.
"Fuck," Kaname muttered, as he ran his fingers into his hair.
Indeed, Shizuka thought, as she finally stood on her own. She turned to pick up the fallen garments but he was already there.
"Thank you," she responded, as the brunette held his jacket open for her, leaving her wrap over his arm. She had already looked across the street and noticed his guard had dispersed the crowd. She barely had time to do that, however, before Kaname was pulling her towards the car.
"Kaname, wait..."
"Come on. We'll talk in the car…"
"No. I mean…"
Shizuka pulled away her arm from Kaname's grasp and marched away towards the fountain across the street. She stuck her hand into the cool water and touched her sore neck. She was deeply annoyed at herself.
This was crazy, her being here. It was only a matter of time before…
"Shizuka?"
Shizuka kicked off her shoes, lifted her dress and stepped into the water. Her body began to calm as it was distracted by the shock of the cold temperature. She waded in further as Kaname reached for her. She just needed to stay away from him. Focus on that. Focus on…
Shizuka turned in shock when she heard the slosh of water and felt his touch. Kaname dislodged the folds of the dress and threaded his fingers into her hand and turned her to face him, leaning his onto her forehead.
"I don't think we can pretend anymore, Shizuka. It's very obvious how we feel about each other." Kaname was smiling kindly into her face. He looked happy.
"I can't do this, Kaname…"
He kissed her again but lifted his head too soon, his lips teasingly just out of reach. Damn he was sexy.
"You were saying?"
"Kaname, please…"
"You'll get no help from me, Shizuka. The only reason you're not naked right now is your desire to go wading in a fountain in an evening gown at midnight... Shizuka!"
She'd pulled away from him and waded to the other side of the pool, placing the stone impression of leaping and water-regurgitating mermaids between them. He was messing with her reason. Kaname caught her again.
"Shizuka, come here and…"
"Kaname, stop it. Stop it! You know it's not so simple! If I give in to you, you'll destroy everything I love. Everything! Don't you understand? It's not just about you and me. I'll be jealous of my own children and they of me. You'll destroy the trust we have between us. I won't do this. If you care about any of us, you won't either."
Shizuka pulled her hand from his and waded to the edge of the fountain to step out of it. She was soaked and the dress now weighed a tonne. Great. She stooped to pick up her shoes and headed for the car.
"Come on. Let's go home. Kaname…?"
"You head back. Take the car. I'll stay out a while longer."
"By yourself? But…"
"Good night."
Kaname headed down an alleyway behind the fountain, quickly accompanied by four soldiers. She watched helplessly until he disappeared before she returned to the car to go home. Another soldier opened the door for her and saw her safely inside.
Still, she felt so alone.
"SECOND LEADER, SIR! Shall I get you anything?"
Kaname waved Martha away and continued into the apartment towards his bedroom. He only stopped when he finally noticed Shizuka sitting on the couch. She had been reading but now she was watching him with a lot of concern. However, he quickly broke eye contact and went into his bedroom.
Shizuka let him be. She could smell even from here where he'd been, the stench of smoke, liquor and cheap perfume, the subtle scent of sex, clung to him. She was surprised at this. Kaname never seemed the type to do this. Oddly enough, relief flooded her. Perhaps he'd gotten what he needed to move past his fixation on bedding her.
There was still only one bathroom in the apartment. Kaname appeared soon enough to use it in just his briefs, entering and closing the door behind him. He'd yet to say anything to her.
She wondered at her still being there. It was almost noon and she could've gone to a café at least and avoided just this scene. But she'd been worried and she wasn't uncaring. His turmoil felt like her own. She lowered her eyes back to her book pretending the words did not run together on the page as her mind raced. What should she do? God, she loved him. She really loved him. But what they needed from each other was impossible.
She should leave. When he came out of there, she would ask to return to the Estate.
"Martha, take a break please."
"Ma'am."
Kaname appeared just after she let herself out, which was quite a few minutes, a towel slung low on his hips and another drying his hair. The steam seemed to follow him from the bathroom as he headed straight to the kitchen.
"Is there coffee?"
"I'll make some more."
"No. I'll do it."
Kaname dropped the other towel around his shoulders and brought the kettle to the sink. Shizuka settled back to her book. She knew he was handy about the kitchen from their brief time together but she liked taking care of him. She smiled as her mind went back to last week when she had complained about Kaname walking about the apartment in just his underwear. He returned from his bedroom with a sheet draped over his head and body, proceeded to pour the coffee and went over to sit in a chair in the living area. She was fully prepared to ignore him until he tried to drink the coffee through the sheet, making a mess and staining a perfectly good covering. She had taken the cup from him and swatted him on the head. The resulting low chuckle making her warm to her toes. She decided to simply ignore his propensity to walk around next to nude as long as he tried nothing with her.
But he had kissed her again. No. They had kissed again.
"What is so funny?"
"When you're this scary, I remind myself of the sheet episode."
"You find me scary?"
"Not all the time, Kaname. Just when you seem unreadable like now."
Kaname seemed to have no come back to this. He merely walked past her to the windows.
"I half expected you to be gone when I came in."
"Do you want me to leave?"
Kaname came over to her and, to her surprise, slipped in beside her on the sofa, enveloping her and pressing his face into her hair.
"The last thing I want is for you to leave me, Shizuka. It's just that after last night, the last place I thought to find you was here."
"Where would I have gone? Besides, I don't want to give you the satisfaction of dragging me back here."
Kaname laughed into her neck. She shivered as her body ramped up its response to his proximity. She wanted so much to pull his towel away and straddle him. It's been too long, she told herself. If she had listened to her sons and began dating again, maybe Kaname wouldn't be this much of a temptation.
Shizuka shrugged him off and turned to face him. She immediately regretted it. There were hundreds of places she could identify that she wanted to kiss…
She got to her feet then. Kaname's laughter died as he watched her run away again. He propped his arm on the back of the sofa and forced himself to appear relaxed, like it didn't matter she didn't want him to touch her. That she'd ignored his state of… readiness. His episode with a willing female had only accomplished a moment's respite.
"You're about to feel very foolish in any case."
"Why?" Shizuka asked, heading into the kitchen to fix his coffee. "Did you eat before you came in or should I make you breakfast?"
Kaname sidestepped her loaded question.
"Do you recall the last time I've denied you anything? I don't."
Shizuka looked up from her forceful beating of two eggs and met Kaname's eyes. He arched an eyebrow and Shizuka coloured painfully, not sure he wasn't right…
"Do you mean I'm free to leave?"
Kaname looked away from what he saw there and stood, going back over to the windows.
"If you had decided to take a suite at "The Arms", say, I would have lived with it. Once, I know where you are and that you were safe."
"I see. What about my sons?"
"What about them?"
"You stopped them from coming…"
"You never asked me, Shizuka."
"But I did! You'd said…"
"I told you they would be a distraction. You never said, 'Kaname, dearest, I want my sons to come with us.'"
"Really. 'Kaname, dearest'?" Shizuka scoffed. The man is delusional.
"I've given you all the powers of a spouse, Shizuka. I don't even challenge your decisions. You'd said we needed to keep that obscene roof mural by that artist you kept on about…"
"Angelo Regalo di Deus. He's a genius…"
Kaname waved his hand with the same impatience - or dismissiveness – he'd listened to her justification before.
"Right, and it's still there. My point is, that's what wives do. They leave to remind the men in their lives how lucky they were to have them and return when the lesson has been learnt…"
"I'm not your wife, Kaname. Even if I were disposed to it, I recall no vows."
Kaname turned back to her, he noticed the plate of scrambled eggs and the smell of fresh toast. He came over to the table and sat. He soon had a meal and his cup of coffee.
"You are my wife where it matters, Shizuka. Not everything must be said aloud to be true."
"Kaname…" Shizuka shook her head in exasperation and turned to clean up but her hand was trapped by his. She ended up on his lap with a firm arm around her waist as he bit into an egg-covered piece of toast.
"If you ask me where I was last night," Kaname said solemnly, as he watched her face, acknowledging what he viewed as his shameful behaviour quietly between them. "I'll tell you."
"I… I don't want to know, Kaname."
"Then it is forgotten," he sighed, eventually removing his gaze to take another bite.
Shizuka tried again to rise but the arm didn't loosen.
"I also want you to know, I will respect your wishes. I understand the position I've put you in. I've thought about it and I prefer having a happy wife to come home to than a miserable one…"
"I'm not your wife, Kaname! You have a wife! Mrs Kuran!? Hello!?"
Kaname said nothing to this as he cleaned up the rest of his meal and began to sip his coffee, all while Shizuka fidgeted on his lap, then proceeded to dry his hair for want of something to do. It was dripping onto her shirt anyway.
"I'm leaving this afternoon, Shizuka. I… don't know when I'll be back."
Shizuka lowered the towel so she could look into his face.
"You were barely here…"
"And I couldn't even spare that. But I needed to clear my head and see you. I get anxious when I'm away too long…"
"Then don't go! Doesn't the Regime have enough already?"
Kaname was looking into her eyes, her tense face. He loved her so much. If she couldn't respond as he would like, he was resolved to accepting it, he'd decided last night. Kaname's need for the prostitute had only lasted twenty minutes, the rest of the time he'd lain in the hotel bed feeling horrible that he'd been so weak and pledging himself to her unreservedly. He was married to her, to them, in his heart. He knew this when his happiness erupted as he made peace with her position.
Still, he wiped his mouth carefully on the napkin and pressed his lips to hers. His position was that he needed to connect with her and, so far, she was fine with kissing him. He moaned as his tongue met hers, as she began to suck on his lips and…. He turned from the table and made her straddle him. His body was already straining to join with her. He would have to settle for her fully clothed weight against him as he plundered her mouth.
He pulled away, though, and caressed the few strands of her hair he'd dislodged during their intimacy, meeting her eyes. He wanted to see it. He knew she deliberately hid it from him. It was punishment for what he had done to her and he'd borne it as his penance. But now, he if he couldn't have her body, he wanted absolution. He wanted her to acknowledge how they felt about each other even if she was too stubborn to admit what he had no stomach left to hide.
Shizuka saw the look and removed her eyes from it. She still wanted this for herself. She felt if she gave that to him, he would find a way to take what little power she had from her. Was she ready? She didn't think she was.
Kaname closed his eyes and buried his face into her chest, holding her tightly to him. He understood. More than she knew. He inhaled her scent, memorising it, the sounds in the quiet pre-afternoon apartment, the footfalls of peaceful activity outside. He would take this with him, then. Just this.
So, it startled him when he felt her arms squeeze him back. His heart swelled and then he realised something tickled his ear…
Shizuka couldn't hide her tears as she saw his face, his reaction to her removing a few hairpins. He was trembling as he touched it gently, not quite believing he was awake.
"I love you. I love you so much."
"Kaname…"
She kissed him again. She felt his hands roam restlessly through it. Such a child. He noted with satisfaction it now reached her behind. Her behind… Shizuka's eyes rolled helplessly as his hands cupped her, his fingers sliding beneath her, between her…
Shizuka arched backwards and Kaname pulled her shirt away and removed her breasts from their lacy enclosure and drew on her nipples as she ground herself into him. The breakfast dishes were pushed back by her thoughtful "husband" as she moaned into his hair. She was close to…
"Kaname, no…!"
"Shh. Let me help."
Shizuka did want to stop him. She grabbed his hand before it could slip inside her lowered zip and to her engorged …
"Kaname, don't…"
Kaname dropped his head and kissed her again. He parted their lips eventually and looked into her eyes.
"I'll just use this finger, Shizuka." He showed it to her.
Shizuka let his hand go and Kaname sucked on the middle digit and splayed his hand onto her heaving stomach. She nearly leapt off the table.
"Darling," Kaname whispered, before going to suck her nipples again, alternating swirling his rough tongue over the taut sensitive peaks and drawing them into his mouth before beating them vigorously with the tip. Shizuka moaned at this exquisite distraction as his hand slipped beneath her underwear to…
"Kaname!"
By this time Shizuka was on the table and Kaname was leaning over her, continuing to enthusiastically lick and suck on her breasts as she trembled beneath him, his middle finger tenting her trousers and panties at the junction of her thighs as it gently massaged…
"Kaname!"
Kaname was focused on this, his eyes closed as she shouted his name, her voice dense with desire. For him. His towel had untied while she was grinding herself into him and he was now fully naked, his erection neglected and unseen below the table. Directly neglected, at least. Indirectly, as her left hand guarded his "working" hand, her other stroked and scratched his head, his back and the rise of his behind depending on how he was performing. Between that, her moans, the ecstatic calls of his name, the sight and smell of her, he could well join her in her orgasm.
"Kaname!"
Shizuka arched backwards again, writhed and moaned, her guarding hand grabbing his arm to try to remove it, to save her sanity. She was close, yet... Kaname persevered, however, using his strength to stay where he knew he was needed, only lifting his head to watch her but holding her tightly as he continued to massage her intimately. His finger was sliding freely now against her swollen lips she was so w...
"Ooooh...! Ah! Aahh!"
Her fingernails scratched his back, marking him, as she stiffened and came against his hand. Kaname dropped his head again and removed his finger before shoving it into his mouth as he helped himself finish with the other. He groaned into her chest as he too came, his body tensing as he arched into his hand.
Fuck!
Shizuka was lying there, also thinking the above, when Kaname lifted his head and smiled into her face. His dimples were clearly evident. Was he gloating? Her eyes narrowed as he came higher and smiled into her face and kissed her again. It was gentle and sweet, full of love. Shizuka lost all her anger and held his head to her. She wanted to feel shame. Wanted to feel anger. But all she felt was love. The need to be happy with him.
Kaname lifted his head and looked at her. Just… looked at her. He combed her silver-blonde hair over her breasts and just held her. She covered her face and sighed.
"I feel like a teenager."
"Really? How so?"
"You know, the grand achievement of getting to first and/or second base in the back seat of your parents' car?"
Kaname's frown of confusion slightly cleared.
"I think I see what you mean."
Shizuka was prepared to challenge him on his inexplicable puzzlement when it occurred to her, just in time, that Kaname's childhood hadn't been like hers. She decided to just explain.
"My first time was in the study room at the library. It wasn't this good, though."
"I'm relieved to hear it. Will you be thoroughly scandalised if I straightened up without my towel?"
Shizuka pushed him away and rolled off the table. By the time she had adjusted her bra and buttoned her shirt he was behind her with her hairpins.
"May I?"
"Yes."
She tried to help but he swatted her hands away. After a suspiciously long length of time he did manage a lose knot.
"Perfect," she whispered.
Kaname kissed her again. It was during this he felt a weight on his towel and it fell away. He lifted his head to see her holding it and her eyes were… well…
He supposed his "wife" should at least have a good look.
It was time to get dressed anyway and Shizuka said so as she moved away and swatted his behind with the towel. His eyes narrowed at this but he went obediently, quite nude as he made it all the way over to his bedroom door with a cherished audience of one.
THE NEXT TIME SHE SAW HIM he was in full uniform and carrying his bags. Her throat hurt when she saw him.
"Kaname, you don't have to leave on my account. I thought…"
"You thought you could do that to me and be safe tonight?"
"What…?"
"I'm joking, Shizuka. As much as I enjoyed 'first and/or second base' with you, I really do have to get back."
"So that's it? You leave now and I don't hear from you for, what, weeks? What am I to think?"
"That I'm moving heaven and earth to keep us together, Shizuka. You already know where I'd rather be."
Kaname headed for the door at his usual resolute pace but…
"Wait!"
Shizuka ran to him and hugged him tightly. Kaname closed his eyes as a surge of pain hit him. He held himself stiffly knowing that, if he touched her, he would stay. To make matters worse her hair came loose as she held him, cascading down her back in delicate waves. The times he'd thought of making love to her covered in her hair. He closed his eyes to shut it out.
"You are right, as usual, Shizuka," Kaname whispered into her ear. "'Mrs Kuran' is taken. We'll have to think of something else. But being 'Mr Kiriyuu' doesn't appeal to me. That's your husband's name."
Shizuka lifted her head and looked into his eyes. She smiled, even with the snot and tears, and played along.
"That leaves my maiden name, Kaname. 'Hiou'."
"'Hiou'," Kaname repeated before nodding. "It'll do."
With that he pulled away and exited the apartment, not once looking back. Shizuka went over to the sofa, sank her face into her hands and cried.
to be continued
lightpathetic wrote this but these are not my characters. They are inspired by Vampire Knight.