AUTHORS NOTE/WARNING : This chapter turned out a little darker than I had originally meant it to be. There is an unpleasant and vivid description near the middle. I will italicize this section so you may skip over it if you want, it is not very long. This is the only chapter with this type of content in the entire story. Thank you so much for reading and commenting, it means a ton!
Once the akuma victim was taken care of Ladybug and Chat Noir watched the migration of evacuated citizens to their homes from the roof.
"Glad that Purr-dicament was taken care of." Chat said nudging Ladybug.
She turned on him, face nearly as red as her costume. "Barely Chat Noir! Barely! And all you could do was pun your way through it! Do you know what I had to drop in order to get here on time?"
"No milady," Chat said stepping back, concerned, "how could I?"
"And all you could do was crack a pun!" She shouted, not hearing him, "There was fire and destruction all around us and you didn't even care!"
"Of course I cared Ladybug, you know me, but-"
"All you do is prance around wearing cat ears without a single care in the world while my world falls around my ears!"
Chat drew himself up, frowning. He looked his partner in the eye. "Ladybug, what's wrong? You never act like this."
"Everything!" She screamed, eyes burning. "Everything's wrong Chat! And to top it all off you went and nearly exposed your identity!"
He drew his eyebrows together. "Are you talking about that video that's been circulating?"
"If anyone finds out you have to give your miraculous back you know!" Ladybug said, "You'd be leaving everything, EVERYTHING, in my hands! I'd be responsible for your successor! I can't do that Chat, I really can't!"
"Ladybug," he said, reaching out to her.
Someone below screamed, cutting the air. Immediately Ladybug and Chat Noir jumped from the roof, aiming for the window where the shrieks ensued. They leaped through the window, ready for battle.
"What's the problem?" Ladybug asked, spinning her yoyo.
A woman cowered against her door staring at the space behind a couch, tears streaming down her face. She looked at the hero's after a moment, raising a shaking finger and pointing to where she had been looking.
"M-m-m-m-" She tried to say, voice caught in her sobs.
Ladybug and Chat Noir walked over to where the woman was point, freezing as they rounded the corner. Ladybug took a step back putting her hand over her mouth, horrified tears pricking the corners of her eyes. Her body stiffened, shaking ever so slightly.
In the walkway behind the couch lay a charred corpse, taught and peeling hand reaching towards the door. It's clothing had been burnt off entirely, its skin burnt beyond recognition. The person's back was still bubbling from the heat of the long-gone fires, its skull caved in from since fixed rubble.
"I- I thought everyone had been evacuated," Chat said, turning to Ladybug.
She didn't say anything, her body continuing to shake.
The woman opened her mouth, barely audible as her lips trembled. "S-she said she'd be r-right back," Her tears fell down her face in salty bulbs, racking her voice as she spoke, "I-I-I thought," she swallowed, "I thought, she had gotten out. I h-had told her that e-everything would go back to n-n-normal afterwards," She choked, gasping, "I told her. S-she had just moved in with m-me a-after the-the doctor-" She stopped, unable to speak through her sobs. "Mom!" She cried out, reaching to the corpse, "MOM!"
"This is my fault." Ladybug said, throat tight. A thin tear slid down her mask.
"No," Chat said, reaching for her, "no. Your powers can't bring back a person who's already dead. There was no way for us to know that someone had come back."
"It's my fault." She repeated, backing up. She spun on her heels, leaping out the window, swinging away.
Chat stepped forward, ready to go after her, but the sobs of the woman behind him stilled his movement. He sighed, nervously glancing where Ladybug had disappeared, and turned back to the grief wracked woman. Ladybug would be okay, this woman need support. He knelt next to her, touching her shoulder.
Ladybug swung across the city, thin tears falling from her eyes. It was her fault. She had failed. She had failed her duty. She had failed her partner. As she left she failed the woman left crying over the loss of her elderly mother. She had failed the old woman's life. Upon her shoulders she held responsibility for every beating heart in Paris, and she had failed her most basic duty to keep everyone alive. The blackened corpse flashed through her head again and she landed on a nearly deserted street.
Clouds had started gathering in the sky, a light snow threatening to fall. She ran into an abandoned alleyway, de-transforming. Tikki flew out of her earrings, falling lightly into Marinette's shaking hands.
"Marinette," the kwami said, reaching up to touch her face, "I'm sorry Marinette. I'm sorry."
Marinette silently handed her a cookie from her purse, bleary vision making her partner appear to be nothing more than a blurred red spot. Tikki ate the cookie quickly, never looking away from Marinette's face.
"It'll be okay," Tikki said softly when she was done rejuvenating, "I promise Marinette, it'll be okay. I'm sorry, I failed you."
Marinette wiped her eyes, a grey shadow keeping light from hitting her face. A single snowflake drifted down from the darkened sky and she shivered.
"Go back to the opera," Tikki urged, "you've been overseeing the evacuees for hours now. It's nearly midnight and you're freezing."
"The opera," Marinette said lifelessly, "Luka," tears started falling from her eyes again, nearly freezing to her face in the chilled air, "he's waiting."
"Yes, yes," Tikki urged, willing to refocus Marinette's dark thoughts, "go to Luka."
Marinette lurched around, shoulders slumped, and started walking back to the opera house. Her heels clicked down the stone streets with empty purpose. Her head hung so the streetlights only cast shadow over her face. A few more flakes fell from the sky. A light, sleeting snow started to cover Paris. Thirty minuets later her blistered heels crossed the last street to the opera house. Attendees were stepping into their hired cars, draped in expensive coats.
Luka stood waiting in the same place Marinette had left him, breathing on his hands in an attempt to keep warm. Marinette's face lit up, a comforting hope gleaming in her eyes as he looked up at her. His expression made her already torn heart wrench.
He spotted the iced lines of tears streaking her face and the unheeded red of her fingers and ran up to her, expression softening.
"Marinette! What happened? Where have you been?"
"Luka," Marinette said, a sad tiredness coating her voice, "Luka, it's terrible. I can't do it. I can't do it anymore."
He took her shoulders, looking into her face. "What are you talking about?" He asked.
Immediately she drew her expression in, a final tear falling down her stoic face.
He drew back, pressing his lips and narrowing his eyebrows. "I can't help you unless you tell me." He said, "not this time." She looked up at him helplessly, "I want to," he said, voice tearing at his throat as he watched light leave her eyes, "I want to help you. But this requires you to tell me how. I can't keep on being in the dark Marinette, I need you to trust me."