Happy Easter, my Lovelies!
I have no excuse for the late update other than, I'm staying home without work and I literally don't know what day it is most of the time. And I was writing, which blurs days even more.
Anyway, here it is, enjoy.
XXXII: Forgiveness
Harry launched for his wand, knowing precisely where he had seen it on the desk. The spell whistled past his ear, its heat singing his shoulder. He jumped over the table, hand fisting around the slim handle of the wood. The holly wand warmed up immediately, a tingling sensation running up on Harry's arm.
He rolled to the ground on the other side and felt as a spell blasted against the heavy wood furniture, knocking it a foot back right against Harry's shoulder. He winced, taking only a moment to breathe in deeply and try to force some semblance of calmness over himself. Then he jumped up from behind the desk, pulling up a shield already.
Snape's spells blasted against it right away, the third one almost even got through. He sent a couple Stunning spells at Severus only hoping to find his footing for a moment, to collect his thoughts and look around to see what was around him.
He barely had time to even consider what to do next, spells were coming his way again, relentless and merciless. Snape too moved ahead, eyes glowing trying to corner Harry. Harry let his shields swallow up the curses, then sent some of his own. A table crushed at the foot of Severus' feet, deterring him from his path.
"Severus! Stop this!" Harry cried, knowing full well that his voice was not enough to counteract the spell Wallace had used. It was only a feeble try, a semblance of hope, nothing else.
Instead of an answer, a desk was hurled at him and Harry had to duck away, no shield of his would be able to hold back that force. It crashed against the ground and broke into tiny splinters. Harry set them on fire and sent them Snape's way.
"Severus, please hear me! This is not you!"
Fire rained on Snape, but a flick of his wand turned the burning splinters into ash. Unblinking glowing eyes watched Harry with cold determination as his hand grasped his black wand more firmly. His fingers barely moved yet a spell broke forth with immense power. Harry watched it blast against his shield, cracking it immediately.
Harry kept moving, hiding behind desks and chairs to avoid the unforgiving curses, but nothing could stop Snape. It was frightening, the sheer, raw power behind each and every spell, as if Snape would be spitting them with pure hatred. It was hard to keep in mind that this was not the man Harry had lain with not an hour ago, only a wild, animalistic version of him, no mind just instincts, perhaps not even that.
Dashing from one hideout to the next, Harry ducked, but a cutting spell slashed across his shoulder. He fell, slid across the dusty classroom floor.
"Bloody hell," he murmured inspecting the injury.
Blood seeped through the white shirt, soaking it through quickly. He started casting a healing charm, but Snape's next spell blasted against the desk he was hiding behind and the force of it pushed Harry a couple feet away; he was lucky his hold on his wand was strong enough and he didn't lose it.
He jumped up right away, watching as a blood red spell exploded against the floorboard right where his head used to be.
"God damn it, Severus!" He cried. "Snap out of it, this isn't you!"
Cold-blooded, Snape just advanced, not even hearing Harry's words. Harry didn't want to injure him, but Snape pushed aside whatever furniture Harry would toss in his way to hinder his approach. He grabbed tables and smashed them against walls using only sheer physical power, though Harry suspected his magic played some part in it as well.
He didn't want to hurt Severus, didn't want to fight against him but soon there was nothing else to do. He was running out of tables to hide him and he doubted whatever the curse was that had hit Snape, it would wear off just because of time. He had to attack, otherwise, Snape would certainly kill him.
Harry took a deep breath and twirled out of behind a column, a wave of his wand spending a surge of raging fire towards Severus. Water flooded the floorboards, swallowed the fire and moved towards Harry. His wand slashed through the air and the water froze, icicles thick as Harry's thigh grew out of it, like lances threatening Snape not to come closer.
Harry broke them off, lifted them in the air. They hovered near his head then twitches of his fingers sent them off one by one towards Snape. He ducked away from them, shattered them in flight, all except one. It pierced his shoulder and Harry flinched.
"I'm so sorry. Please, stop this. I don't want to hurt you," Harry pleaded watched as Severus tore the ice out of his wand arm. Blood dripped to the ground, yellow eyes glinted threateningly.
Severus snarled, showing teeth. There was nothing human in him and it was terrifying. Harry looked him in the eyes, searched for the man he loved in there, but he found nothing. Snape was nothing more than a mindless animal, a ruthless killer and Harry swore if he could get his hands on Wallace, he would rip the man apart.
Severus moved, fast as lightning, and Harry cast a shield charm, but it was in vain. He felt the ground tremble beneath his feet, little chips of wood quivered as if there was an earthquake around them, the boards cracked and suddenly Harry was lifted into the air with a piece of the floor as well and tossed against the wall with incredible power. His shield was worth nothing as his body collided with the hard stone.
He heard the sickening crack first and felt the mind-numbing, searing pain only a moment later when it registered in his mind what had just happened. His wand fell from his hand, lower arm broken he couldn't clutch onto it any longer, he was barely able to move even. Every motion set a wild, burning ache lose in his body.
He grasped his wand in his left hand, knowing he had no chance now. His right side throbbed, his brain screamed with every wand-movement, he suspected he may have cracked a couple of ribs as well. He could barely concentrate because of the sharp pain. Even in perfect health Snape meant a challenge and injured he had no hope winning over him, at least not in the Gryffindor way.
He gave himself a moment to look around, to see what he could use against the man, to see just one way out that could help him escape. There was practically nothing. They levelled the Defence classroom to the floor, in fact even pieces of that were missing too. There was once again only destruction all around them and in the middle of the all that rubble and ash stood the two of them under a chandelier where candles still burned. That got Harry an idea.
He sent Bombarda-s all across the classroom, steering Snape in one direction. He sent everything he got Snape's way, trying to coax him to move just a little bit more, making sure he had no chance to retaliate just to deflect or shield.
He brandished his wand and the great chandelier came crashing down on top of Snape. Iron wringed with loud screams and twirled around Snape's wrists and ankles holding him back. Severus snarled viciously, tensing against the firm hold, but the iron held him stubbornly. Harry mended the broken bone in his arm first, then once he regained the use of his dominant hand, he edged closer to Severus.
Like a mad dog, Snape growled and strained, yellow eyes glowing with hatred. Harry took his black wand and pocketed it.
"I'm sorry," he said when he made a couple more iron bars slide around Snape, mostly around his arms, legs and throat. "I'll go, find Wallace and make him reverse whatever he did to you. I'll be back, I promise." He watched the snarling man for a moment, then brushed his pale cheek with the back of his hand. Severus snatched his teeth at him threateningly, as if wanting to bite him.
"I'd rather you kept that attitude only to the bedroom," Harry chuckled, then blew him a kiss.
Snape seemed only more savage and Harry quickly skipped towards the door.
He ran out of the classroom, making sure to lock the door behind him, but he soon realized he had no idea which way to even look for Wallace or if the man was still in the castle at all. He headed left on a whim, shouting after the professor, but no one seemed to be out in the corridors this late in the evening.
He didn't know what he would do if he found Wallace. A part of him understood the man's motives, what Fenrir had done was despicable and the horrors Wallace committed because of that animal would have broken a man stronger than him for sure. The professor had killed his own daughter, it would change anyone. Would their roles be reversed, Harry suspected he wouldn't act any different probably and would detest the Death Eaters to the last of their descendants. The truth was shocking, and there was a part of him that still sympathised with Wallace.
Yet all Harry could think about was to wrap his fingers around Wallace's throat and squeeze the life out of him. That other part inside him was roaring with anger, like the dragon in the pit of Harry's stomach this monster too snapped its chains and flooded Harry's veins with cold-blooded fury. Pain was long gone from his mind, though he knew some of his injuries were still bleeding, he did not care. He could feel nothing else, just a thirst for Wallace's blood.
Harry dashed through half the castle without running into a single soul less alone Wallace. He was already near the Gryffindor Tower when he heard footsteps from behind him. He turned to see Hermione and Ron.
"Blimey, Harry, what the hell happened to you?" Ron said, running closer once he noticed the bleeding cuts all around Harry's body.
"Severus," Harry answered relieved to see his friends.
Ron's eyes widened. "I knew he'd be kinky, but isn't this a little too much?" He asked slightly horrified.
Harry just shook his head, they had no time for jokes. "Wallace cursed him. He's not himself and he wants to kill me." He explained.
"Wallace?" Hermione yelped. "We just met him! I asked him about homework!"
"Where?" Harry asked urgingly.
"He was going towards the northern parts of the castle," Ron told him. "Why is he doing this?"
"What's in the northern parts? What does he want?" Harry thought aloud while they started running. "Fenrir made him kill his daughter and I guess he swore revenge against all the Death Eaters," Harry summarized quickly as they turned corners.
"Good god," Hermione grunted. "Poor man."
"Poor Severus," Harry snarled. "He almost killed me tonight, and he's currently tied out with iron bars in the Defence classroom."
"Not quiet the night you two planned, is it," Ron huffed. "What does Wallace still want to do here? Why didn't he just leave? Run away?"
"Where would he go?" Harry asked. "He never intended for Snape to die, he just wants him to suffer. The moment Severus is back to himself, he would tell what happened and Wallace would go to Azkaban straight away."
"What's the point in hiding now then?" Hermione asked.
Harry didn't answer. As they ran past a window, something caught his eyes outside. He stopped and rushed back to look at it again. "Shit. Fucking coward." He grunted.
Ron and Hermione stared out the window too, but they didn't see what Harry did. How could they, they didn't hear Wallace's story.
"What? Do you know where he's hiding?" Ron asked.
"He's not hiding," Harry said pointing up at the Astronomy Tower. "He's got nothing to live for. He just wants to end the suffering, be with his daughter. He'll jump."
"Dear lord," Hermione gasped. "We need to get to him before that, Harry!"
"Yes, we do," Harry agreed, though he had a suspicion it was for a different reason than what Hermione was thinking. He cared not what happened to Wallace, whether he died or lived, but if he jumped down from there, Harry would never find out how to counteract the curse he had used on Snape.
"I'll go stop him," Harry said. "You go get McGonagall and help Severus if you can."
"Will you be all right, Harry?" Hermione asked.
"I'm not the one you need to worry about," Harry answered darkly then he smashed in the window and turned into his owl form, knowing this was the faster way up to the Tower.
He soared out, wings beating madly, pushing the air beneath him with wild flaps. His joints hurt but he couldn't care less, fury and desperation drove him to fly faster, to climb the air higher and higher until he arrived at the same spot, Severus had pushed him over the railing what seemed like years ago now.
Wallace was there, leaning against the iron, just like they did back then. His arms were resting on it, his eyes staring blindly at the forest. He didn't notice Harry who was coming from below, even though his white wings flashed in the dark as he was soaring up aligned with the castle wall.
Shrieking, Harry attacked him without turning back. His sharp talons slashed into dark skin before Wallace would even realise what was happening. He knew he drew blood, he could feel the warmth of it soak his legs and looking down he could see it darken his pure white feathers. He cried loud, wild as his claws grasped the man's shoulder and he pulled him down, wings flapping madly, disorienting the professor.
Wallace was on the ground the next minute, face and shoulder bleeding heavily. Harry couldn't bring himself to feel pity for him.
He shifted back to his human form and slowly stepped over the man.
"Don't tell me, you killed him." Wallace said surprised. "You could never..."
"Give me the counter curse." He said in a quiet, but deadly voice. He took the man's wand from his inner pocket and snapped it, before he threw it away.
"Of course, you didn't. You're not like us, Harry. You're not a monster." Wallace smiled. He looked deranged as if he had lost it all now, completely. "Though your Animagus form is beautiful. A real predator," he said wiping the blood from the scratch marks over his eyes.
Wallace made no attempt to stand up. Harry pointed his wand at him.
"Give me the counter curse." He repeated, fury waving beneath his steady voice.
Wallace shook his head. "You won't kill me, Harry."
"Oh no, I won't. Unfortunately, I still need you to tell me how I can turn him back." Harry admitted as he squatted down next to the man. "So, what is it? And please, Professor Wallace, understand that this is the last time I asked nicely."
Wallace huffed mirthlessly. "If you didn't kill him, he's coming for you. He smells the scent of your blood, and he'll follow you."
Harry flicked his wand and Wallace crashed against the railing, body arching over the abyss.
The man laughed nervously as Harry stood up and walked up to him with slow, threatening steps.
"He's tied up and he'll go nowhere," Harry assured Wallace in a soft voice. "Now, Professor, tell me the counter curse."
Wallace just laughed again as if all of this would be nothing more than a game, a mid-year exam Harry would have to pass, but needed some help with.
"Tied up? Oh Harry, you cannot hold back that power anymore. He's stronger than you. He's stronger than any of us, and after this everyone will see what monster truly resides in him."
"You're not wrong, you know." Harry said in a strangely quiet and calm voice, given what demolishing storm was raging inside him. "I'm not like you. I'm not a monster. But I can be made into one, just like you were." He pressed his wand to Wallace's heart, then hissed, "Crucio."
Wallace shrieked into the night, his breathless cry filled the darkness with terror.
"Remember when you asked me if I was ever so angry that I felt like an animal? Well, congratulation Professor, here's another thing you managed to teach me." Harry growled. "How do I turn him back?"
Flinching from the previous pain, Wallace shook his head. "There's no way-"
"Crucio." Harry said again, wand digging deep into the screaming man's skin. "I had Riddle take away so much from me, don't think for even a moment I'd let you do the same, Wallace. Give me the counter curse and I'll let you live out your life in Azkaban."
"There's no counter curse," Wallace choked, blood dripping from his mouth. "Only your death can quench his thirst now."
"You admired me for defeating Voldemort, yet you were stupid enough to threaten the man I love and tried to take him away from me." Harry snarled as he placed his hand over Wallace's heart. His blood soaked shirt was strangely cold against his touch. "Think of your daughter, Professor. Think of her and pray I'm not as good with magic as you always thought me to be." He closed his eyes and quieted his mind.
"What are you doing?" Wallace sounded truly scared for the first time.
"Crashing your magic like I crashed that cage," Harry answered coldly. "Maybe that will break your spell on him, too."
"No!" Wallace cried. "You can't do that!" He tried to fight, tried to pull away from the hand on his chest, but Harry's magic held him arched over the railing with a firm hold.
Within moments, he could see Wallace's magic, pale orange, like the colour of dawn, faint as if it had faded like his will to live. Harry saw the magic in him pulse to the fast rhythm of his heart, waving through his entire body. Harry wasn't sure what he was doing, he just concentrated all his energies into that single touch. The orange magic pulled up, shrank back from the tips of Wallace's fingers, drew further in with every moment.
Wallace was screaming, but Harry didn't stop. He reached deeper inside, and he could feel his own magic all but tense against Wallace's very core. He could sense the tremendous power in his grip, and all he needed to do was to fist his hand and it would snap, shatter into million pieces. He didn't know what that would do to Wallace and he didn't really care either. He only cared about Severus.
Suddenly Harry seemed to hear his velvety voice, somewhere deep inside him. "There is no such thing as dark magic, only dark wizards who use spells for the wrong cause." Harry's eyes snapped open and he let go of the man, his magic too withdrew, and Wallace fell to the ground, his hand clenching into the skin over his heart.
He almost… In the mad thirst for revenge, he almost killed a man, or made something even more horrible to him. He felt a sickening feeling in the inside of his chest, below the surface of his heart, somewhere even deeper than his own flesh.
Harry's soul ached. His very soul hurt at what he had almost done. He understood now, perhaps even too well the pain within Wallace and what it does to a man to suffer, to ache in such a deep level. He could not bear to lose Severus and a threat against him was enough to turn Harry into this… into this monster.
Panting, Harry stared down at him for a long moment. He was inches away from walking down a dark path he might never come back from, all that because of an idiot, who couldn't understand how important forgiveness was.
He was about to walk away, leave all this behind and return to Severus, when he noticed Wallace struggling to speak, his dark eyes dashing between Harry and something behind him.
Harry knew what would welcome him as he turned on his heels, even before he heard Wallace's breathless grunt telling him to "Watch out…"
For the umpteenth time that evening, Harry was smacked against a stone surface, a pillar this time, though thankfully the collision didn't result in any broken bones. His head hurt like hell though and he was seeing stars for a moment.
Severus was on him already, wandless, yet tearing iron from the walls and bending it around Harry's frame with only a flick of his long fingers.
He looked even more feral than before. Angry red lines across his throat, where he had tensed against the iron hold, marred his skin, his lips were set in a continuous snarl. His eyes, yellow and wild, gleamed with ruthless hate, and his moves reminded Harry of a predator moments away from a kill. And given he could not move his hands to do magic, there was no way this would end any other way.
Another snap of Severus' fingers tore the wand from Harry's hand when he was only a couple feet away. The wood clattered on the ground on the other side of the tower.
Severus headed towards Harry with measured steps, slowly, almost circling him. Harry was terrified at his sight. It was like watching death edge closer and closer to him, he could all but take out the scythe above his shoulder, his yellow eyes promising nothing but a painful end.
Then suddenly, like a cannon ball, Wallace knocked against Snape from the side and swept him to the ground. Harry knew and Wallace must have realized it too, that he had no chance whatsoever against the powerful magic raging inside Severus now, yet he tried, he hit him with his elbow, but Snape swept him off his body like he meant nothing, like he was no more than an annoying bug.
"MY WAND!" Harry screamed at Wallace struggling against the iron rods, watching as his phoenix wand lay useless a couple feet away from the man's head. Wallace heard him and looked around and at last saw the wand and reached for it.
Severus grabbed him by the robes and threw him half way across the tower, but it was too late. The wand was pointed at Snape and the counter course was already flying towards him, as Wallace landed against the railing. A faint purple spell hit Severus in the chest, and for a moment Harry felt the immense sensation of relief wash over him.
It was over. Finally, it was over. He took a deep breath and watched Severus' motionless body as he shuddered when the spell surged over him.
"Severus… Severus!" He called with voice laced with worry, but he sacked against the hold that kept him in place. He watched the man's back wanting him to turn around, so he could see at last those black eyes, that immense darkness he loved so much.
"No…impossible…" Wallace whispered aghast. "Don't! NO!" He cried suddenly and the look on his face told Harry something was wrong and he was drenched in fear once again. Wallace lifted Harry wand, motioned with it but nothing happened.
Then Severus turned, his eyes aglow in that violent yellow colour still, mouth turned into a wild snarl and Harry realized immediately, that the counter spell didn't work, it couldn't have, not after what he had done to Wallace, not after he all but shattered the magic inside him.
Snape marched up to Harry, torn robes billowing, a faint reminder of the man he used to be. Fingers unclenched in the air and the iron let Harry go, he almost fell forward, but Snape grabbed him by the neck.
"Please, Severus, remember who you are." Harry gasped as the long fingers tensed around his throat. "Merlin, please, remember me. Remember us, Severus."
There was no spark of recognition in the yellow eyes, no welcoming zap of blue electric magic when he grabbed Snape's wrist. There was nothing just an animal behind a body Harry had learned to love, and yearned to touch ever since. The man was not there, nor the little boy, who had guarded Severus' heart so well. There was nothing human in those eyes anymore, that savage expression told of nothing else just a fierce need to kill.
Harry stopped struggling, instead held Severus' wrist in his hand, thumb caressing the man. "Please, Severus, hear me."
Snape's wand lifted out of his pocket and Severus grabbed it, pressing the tip to Harry's neck. A threatening snarl broke out of his throat the same time Harry let out a desperate sob.
He knew what was about to come, he could all but see the deadly green light gather at Severus' fingertips even though his eyes were wide open, dashing from one yellow orb to the other with panic.
"This isn't you, Severus," Harry said quickly, knowing he only had seconds left to live. "Whatever happens here it will not be your fault. Do you hear me? You can't blame yourself. And neither will I. This isn't your fault."
He didn't know what to hope for, that Severus wouldn't remember any of this and other people would have to tell him what he had done, or that he could recall everything said between them and Harry's words would perhaps one day alleviate the crippling guilt he would surely feel. He dared not to think what Severus would do now, how he would attempt to scrub Harry's blood off his hand. What desperate measures would he take?
"It's not your fault." He said, his hand moving over to the lean face, gently caressing the pale skin, then brushing through long black hair that felt soft as feathers against his fingers. "I love you." Harry whispered one last time.
"Avada Kedavra," said Severus at the same time.