November 1868
Aizu domain surendered at the end of September. The imperial army was getting reinforcements continually and when Matsudaira Katamori eventually asked us to put down our weapons, they were 30 000. There was no way Aizu could defeat that. Nearly all the Matsudaira family surrendered, some of them managed to join the fleet of Enomoto-sama to keep fighting. When the castle surrendered, there was more than a thousand women and children inside.
I was hidden. I don't know why they were so good to me. They were probably grateful. My former men were captured and most of Aizu generals were too but I wasn't. They hid me the best they could and I was amazed with the incredible solidarity every rank of Aizu retainers showed me. Everyone knew I was the real Saito Hajime, not an Ichinose. I fought by their side for months, I led the Shinsengumi on the battlefield... My face was well known. Yet, no one betrayed my identity. The senior Ichinose-dono was captured for imprisonment but his sons were free and I was counted amongst them. I thanked them genuinely for this opportunity and they asked me to stay with them. They respected me as a warrior. I didn't want to insult them by refusing but I had something to do first.
And now here I was, where it all began, where I first met her. It was the beginning of November and I walked restlessly, alone, fighting my bloodlust along the way. I took back the name of Fujita, the one we took in Tenmaya when I was protecting Miura-dono. It was a lot safer to travel that all my other names. Yamaguchi, Saito, Ichinose... all these names were now a way to get me killed.
I wanted to see her, to hold her and tell her that I chose us and was ready to put down my sword. I could have went to Ezo, reunite with Toudou and Hijikata-san but that wasn't my path anymore. Mine took a different direction now and although it was a bit scary because it wasn't a warrior's one, it was also making me feel a blissful elation.
Yet, before I headed to the mountains of Yase, I went a bit south to get back to Kyoto. I was pretty confident no one would recognize me in town. They knew me with my long side ponytail and now, I was wearing a short top bun. My cut hair had grown pass the point of discomfort and I had to tie them up again. Plus, after my weeks of walking, I haven't taken the time to shave. Although it wasn't long, it was hiding my features pretty well and to add to the caution, I put my swords on my left side like any other samurai.
I found what I was looking for and kneeled, bowing in respect for the man who did so much for me.
« Hello, Kyokuchô. » I said in a low voice « I'm sorry you had to cope with this roughness for so long but I had been delayed. Allow me to help you. »
I looked left and right for witnesses and when I was sure it was safe, I took Kondou-san's salted head off the pike on which it was planted. I would not bear any longer to have it exposed that way in the city he vowed to protect. I got away from the Sanjō Ohashi bridge and asked a monk to make a ceremony for it. I gave him the head after it, asking him to go and bury it somewhere appropriate. I hoped his spirit could now find peace...
That done, I was finally ready to put my Shinsengumi years in the past. I exited Kyoto and went hiking north, in the mountains around the city. I was pretty sure that I couldn't find the hidden village myself but I had no doubt that the Oni would find me if I got close enough. I hiked for hours, waiting for them to show themselves and my prayers were finally answered in the person of Kimigiku, the ninja bodyguard of Sen.
« Kimigiku-san » I saluted her.
« Saito-san. » she bowed in return « we thought you were dead. »
« As you can see, I am well and alive. » I smiled faintly « is my family here ? »
« They are » she confirmed.
« Can I see them ? » I asked.
« You are human. I can't let you in that easily. » she stated.
« I'm Saito-himesama's husband. » I objected.
Will demons one day acknowledge our marriage or will I always stay the human standing behind the demon princess ? You were there at our wedding for gods's sake.
« Wait here if you may, Saito-san. I'm going to ask Sen-himesama if you can get in. I'm sorry about this but it is protocol. I need a permission from my princess. »
« Alright. » I sighed and I sat down on a stump, waiting.
She showed up again after several minutes and ordered me to follow her. My heart was pounding in my chest so much that it ached. How would Chizuru react to my arrival ? Was she still mad at me ? We turned so many times in the forest that I wasn't sure I would be able to find my way back but I supposed it was normal for a hidden village. Yet, when I saw it, there was no magical portal or anything. It was just a small, classic village.
« This way, please. » ordered Kimigiku and I kept following her.
There were men, women and children, all looking at me in fear and I searched for Chizuru or Haruhi's face amongst them, even Amagiri's, but I couldn't see them. The ninja woman led me to what I supposed was Sen's home since it was the biggest house there, in L shape with a beautiful garden, and she ordered me to stay in an empty room, assuring me that I wouldn't have to wait long.
She was right. A few moments later, I heard rapid steps in the corridor and I recognized that sound so easily. My heart became mad inside my rib cage, bouncing everywhere, and I saw her slid the shoji, her eyes wet and wide.
« Chizuru... » I said but I didn't get the time to say anything else.
She ran with her red and golden princess kimono and captured my face between her palms, kissing me with desperation. Gods, I loved her. Her face was wet with tears of joy and she started sobbing violently, clenching to me as if I could turn to smoke and fly away. She finally let go of my lips and I smiled to her.
« I'm back. » I just said and she chuckled and sobbed at the same time, holding me in her arms with her face burried in chest.
« I... I heard you were dead... »
« I'm not an easy man to kill, you should know by now. » I said softly, stroking her hair.
« There were woodblock prints... of your execution... » she sobbed « I even kept one just to have an image of you... I was... I was so guilty that the last thing I said to you was that I shouldn't have married you ! It's... I never should have said that ! Hajime... I... I'm so stupid... I... I... »
« I know, Chizuru » I said, lifting her chin up « I love you too. »
I kissed her again, with less desperation than she did. My embrace wasn't fueled by despair, it was fueled by hope. It was turned towards the future, our future. Although I couldn't help but have anguish taking over me. One thing that stroke me when she got in was how flat her belly was. That was early... I normally should have been on time... Was the child safe ? Yet, I couldn't bring myself to ask, fearing I would stir some sorrowful emotions. I prefered for her to talk about it to me.
« I missed you so much... » she whispered, her head burying itself back in my clothes.
« Chizuru... I hiked for four weeks... » I muttered, embarrassed. I was probably smelling like a horse.
« I don't care... » she whispered, not moving her head.
« I do. » I frowned and I detached myself from her.
Yet, when I saw her disappointment, I sighed and pulled her back to me.
« You will have to show me where the bathroom is. » I muttered.
« It can wait. » she chuckled « it's not that bad... You smell you, just stronger. »
I said nothing for a few minutes and then I detached her again and carressed her cheek with the tip of my fingers.
« Chizuru, I... » I started then stopped, wondering where I was going with this. I paused and thinked about what I wanted to say to her and I tried to find the right words « I'm done. My path led me to you, all those years ago and you walked it behind me, you were right. You followed my route and my ambitions without ever complaining. »
« Maybe I did complain a little. » she said.
« Let me speak. » I ordered, flustered « I don't know what I was saying anymore... »
« That I followed your path without complaining. » she smiled.
« Yes, alright... » I paused again « I'm ready, Chizuru. I'm ready to get off that path and walk a new one, with you. Chizuru, I know we are already married and everything but I want you to be my wife, again, renew my vows, and I want to build something with you and stop fighting. From now on, I want to put all my efforts, loyalty and strength into our family. Because I choose us. »
« This...You... Whoah... I... I don't know what to say... » she whispered, completely overwhelmed.
« You do not need to say anything. Just let me walk on your path from now on. » I whispered, my forehead against hers.
« It is our path. » she just said, holding me tight.
We kept silent together, each of us getting the full of the other. I was desiring to love her here and now after so many months without touching her but that would be inappropriate. And I still was completely anxious about the child.
« Where's Haruhi ? » I asked eventually to avoid asking the other question that was burning my lips.
« She's with your son. » she replied with a giant loving smile and I felt my heart melt with these words.