Chapter 29

Amy, Rory, the Doctor, and Elise stepped out of the TARDIS into what looked to be a hotel.

"Let's go to Ravan-Skala, he says. The people are six hundred feet tall. You have to talk to them in hot air balloons and the Tourist Information Center is made of one of their hats, he says. I'm sorry, but I don't see any huge hats," Amy told him.

"Amy, Beaky, this could be the most exciting thing I have ever seen."

"You're kidding," Rory said as the Doctor ran up the staircase.

"How can you be excited about a rubbish hotel on a rubbish bit of Earth?" Amy asked.

"Because, assembled Ponds and Elise, this is not Earth. This has just been made to look like Earth. The craftsmanship involved. Can you imagine?"

Elise loved her father, but she had to admit he had some weird interests.

They made their way back to the reception area where the TARDIS parked.

"What? Then where are we?" Amy asked.

"I don't know," the Doctor said, "Something must have yanked us off course. Look at the detail on that cheese plant!" He walked over to the plant and sniffed the leaf.

"Right, but who would mock up an Earth hotel?" Rory asked.

The Doctor picked an apple from a bowl sitting on a table and tossed it in the air. "Colonists maybe, recreating a bit of home, like when ex-pats open English pubs in Majorca." The Doctor took a bite of the apple.

"Thought you didn't like apples?" Elise asked him, a smirk on her face.

"Oi. Hush you! Whoever did this, I am shaking his/her hand/tentacle."

Rory walked over to a wall of pictures. "Have you seen these? Look at the labels underneath. Commander Halke, defeat. Tim Heath, having his photo taken. Lady Silver-Tear, Daleks."

Amy joined him. "Bruce Barnes, other people's socks. Tim Nelson, balloons. Novice Prin, sabrewolves. Royston Luke Gold, Plymouth? Lucy Hayward, that brutal gorilla. Doctor, what does it mean?"

"I don't know. Let's find out." He rang the bell on the desk and three people appeared.

One was a woman holding a chair leg, another was a man holding a lamp, and the third was some type of alien holding a white flag.

"Blimey, that was a bit quick," the Doctor said.

"We surrender!" the alien said.

"No, it's okay, we're not…" Rory told him.

"We surrender!"

"We're nice."

"She's threatening me with a chair leg!" the Doctor said, pointing at the woman in scrubs.

"Who are you?" she asked.

"Oh god, we're back in reception," the man said.

"We surrender!" the alien repeated.

"I've never been threatened with a chair leg before. No, hang on, I tell a lie," the Doctor told them.

"Did you just say, it's okay, we're nice?" Amy asked Rory.

"Okay, I need everyone to shut up, now," the woman said.

"Rita, be careful, yeah?" the man said.

"Their pupils are dilated. They're as surprised as we are. Besides which, if it's a trick, it'll tell us something," Rita rattled off.

The Doctor smiled. "Oh, you're good. Oh, she's good. Amy, with regret, you're fired."

"What?" Amy snapped.

"I'm kidding." He turned to Rita and made a telephone gesture, mouthing, "We'll talk." The Doctor turned to the alien. "I take it from the pathological compulsion to surrender, you're from Tivoli."

"Yes. The most invaded planet in the galaxy. Our anthem is called Glory To Insert Name Here. I'm Gibbis, by the way."

"You with the face, Howie, you said you were surprised to be back in reception."

"The walls move. Everything changes," Howie explained.

"You, clever one. What's he talking about?"

"The corridors twist and stretch. Rooms vanish and pop up somewhere else. It's like the hotel's alive," Rita told him.

The Doctor walked over to the radio and turned the music off. "That's quite enough of that."

"Yeah, and it's huge, with, like, no way out," Howie said.

"Have you tried the front door?" Rory asked.

"No. In two days it never occurred to us to try the front door. Thank God you're here," Rita deadpanned, causing Amy to laugh.

The Doctor soniced the doors before opening them. "They're not doors, they're walls. Walls that look like doors. Door-walls, if you like, or dwalls. Woors even, though you'd probably got it when you said they're not doors. I mean, the windows are…" He pulled back the curtain to reveal more bricks. "Right, big day if you're a fan of walls."

"It's not just that. The rooms have…things in them," Rita said.

"Things? Hello! What kind of things?" the Doctor asked, "Interesting things? I love things, ask anyone."

"Bad dreams."

"Well, that killed the mood. How did you get here?"

"I don't know. I'd just started my shift. I must have passed out, because suddenly I was here."

"I was blogging. Next thing, this," Howie said.

"Oh, I was at work. I'm in Town Planning. We're lining all the highways with trees so invading forces can march in the shade," Gibbis explained, "Which is nice for them."

"So, what have we got? People snatched from their lives and dropped into an endless, shifting maze that looks like a 1980s hotel with bad dreams in the bedrooms." The Doctor took a Rubik's cube from his pocket and tossed it. "Well, apart from anything else, that's just rude."

They made their back down to the first floor landing.

"We'll pop back to the TARDIS, I'll do a planet-wide diagnostic sweep, and then we'll have a sing song," the Doctor told them.

They stopped when they realized the TARDIS was gone.

"Where's the TARDIS? You parked it there, didn't you?" Amy asked.

"What's a TARDIS?" Howie asked.

"Our way out. And it's gone," Rory said.

Elise opened her mouth to say something, but the Doctor hushed her again.

Suddenly, the radio started up again.

"Okay, this is bad. At the moment, I don't know how bad, but certainly we're three buses, a long walk and eight quid in a taxi from good," the Doctor said pacing, "Are there any more of you?"

"Joe. But he's tied up right now," Rita said.

"Doing what?"

"No, I mean he's tied up right now."

Rita, Gibbs, and Howie led them to the restaurant.

The man in question, Joe, was tied to a chair. The room was filled with dummies that stopped laughing as soon as they entered the room. Their heads turned towards the group and Elise grabbed onto to Rory's arm.

"It's okay," he told her.

The Doctor walked up to Joe. "Hello. I'm the Doctor."

"We're going to die here."

"Well, they certainly didn't mention that in the brochure. Is Joe there? Can I have a quick word?" The Doctor grabbed an empty chair and sat down in it at Joe's table.

"Oh, it's still me, Doctor, but I've seen the light. I lived a blasphemous life, but he has forgiven my inconstancy, and soon he shall feast."

"Well, you've been here two days. What's he waiting for?"

"We weren't ready. We were still raw."

"But now you're what? Cooked?"

"If you like. Soon you will be, too. Be patient. First, find your room."

"My room."

"There's a room here for everyone, Doctor. Even you."

"You said you'd seen the light now."

"Nothing else matters anymore. Only him. It's like these things. I used to hate them. They make me laugh now." Joe started laughing. "Gottle o' geer. Gottle o' geer!"

The dummies joined Joe in laughing.

"You should go. He'll be here soon," Joe told him.

"I think you should come with me." He grabbed a luggage trolley and used it to wheel Joe back to the reception area. "Why you four? That's what I don't understand. Aside from all the other things I don't understand," the Doctor said. He turned off the radio again.

"What does it matter? Sooner or later, someone will come along and rescue us. Or enslave us," Gibbis said.

Elise thought the alien was rather pathetic. Living your life in constant fear? No thanks, she'd already done that in her first few years of life.

"First, we find the TARDIS. Quick thing before we go. If you feel drawn to a particular room, do not go in, and make sure someone else can see you at all times," the Doctor told them.

"Joe said, he will feast. Is there something here with us?" Rita asked.

Joe started laughing again.

"Something to add, Joe?" the Doctor asked him.

"Here comes a candle to light you to bed. Here comes a chopper to chop off your head. Chop, chop, chop, chop."

"Can we do something about him?" Howie asked.

Soon, they were wandering around the hotel.

Gibbis was wheeling Joe, who had his mouth taped shut. "Personally, I think you've got the right idea. Times like this, I think of my old school motto. Resistance Is Exhausting," Gibbis said.

A man in his underwear with a whistle around his neck stepped out of room 158.

"Hello," the Doctor said.

"Have you forgotten your PE kit again? Right, that's it, you're doing it in your pants!" the teacher yelled and then went back inside the room.

Behind them, Howie was staring at a door.

"Hey! Don't!" the Doctor yelled, but it was too late.

Howie opened the door to reveal several girls.

"Oh, look, girls, it's H-H-H-Howie!" the blonde said.

"What's loser in K-K-K-Klingon?" a brunette asked.

"Shut the-the-the d-d-d-the door!" Howie stuttered.

The Doctor closed the door as Howie looked embarrassed.

"This is just some m-m-messed up CIA stuff. I'm…I'm…I'm telling you."

The Doctor put an arm around his shoulder. "You're right. Keep telling yourself that. It's a CIA thing, nothing more." They ventured up the staircase to the next floor.

Amy knelt down and picked up a couple of pieces of paper. "Look."

There was a loud roaring noise.

"Okay, whatever that is, it's not real, yeah?" Amy asked.

"No. No, I'm sure it isn't, but just in case, let's run away and hide anyway. In here," the Doctor said.

Gibbis, Amy, Elise, Howie and the Doctor ducked into one of the rooms.

"Where's Rory?" Elise asked.

The Doctor ran out of the room. "Rory, come on!"

"There was a…"

"Come on!"

Elise turned around and gasped.

There were Weeping Angels.

Elise backed away from them, not blinking, until she bumped into her father. Their last encounter had been less than pleasant. At least River at had been there.

"Don't blink," Amy said.

"What?" Howie asked.

The lights flickered and the angels moved closer.

Elise whimpered. The Doctor could feel her shaking as she tried to press herself closer to him.

"Amy, get back!" the Doctor said, grabbing them.

The lights kept flickering, but the angels didn't move.

"Why haven't they got us yet?" the Doctor asked. He stepped out behind Elise and walked towards them. He reached out, but his hand went through the angel.

"Amy, Elise, they're not real," he said.

"What?" Amy asked.

"They should have got us by now. Amy, look at me. Focus on me. It's your bad dream, that's all."

"I don't even think they're for us," Rory said.

They all looked and saw Gibbis hiding in the wardrobe as something stomped slowly down the hallway.

The Doctor walked towards the door.

"Doctor, what are you doing?" Amy asked.

"I'm sorry, I just have to see what it is. I just have to see." He looked through the peep hole. "Oh, look at you. Oh, you are beautiful. Oh, dear. I think it's going after Joe." The Doctor opened the door and went out into the hallway. "Leave him alone!" He took off running.

Elise started to go after him, but Rory grabbed her. "I have to help him!" she told him.

"We can't afford to get separated in this place."

"But…"

"The Doctor will be fine. Just like he always is."

Rory and older Amy's words echoed in her head.

The Doctor and his ever faithful daughter.