I was in bed, my own bed. I insisted on returning to my dorm room the day after...hearing what I heard. I felt good about doing it, I really needed some time to myself to just sulk.

And cry, there was plenty of that too.

Most of my life I felt shitty about crying, whenever I did my family would just ignore me, or tell me to suck it up. My old family was truly gone now, save I guess few distant relatives, but anyway, the past is the past. I shouldn't let it get to me anymore, it's gonna, I'm sure it is, but as long as I keep telling myself that my decisions were good in the end, maybe one day I'll believe it to be true.

I can only hope.

Anyway, I felt like shit and continued to feel like shit. Hieronymous he came by once a day or more to check on me, it was nice, but it also annoyed me a little bit. I don't like people having to worry about me, but there is nothing I can do to stop that. So I think about the nice parts of it.

Like the fact he cares about me enough to do so. That makes me feel very good inside.

Grim keeps getting on me about that and the uh nightmares.

Nightmares, they were back, but not as bad as before for the simple reasoning that I couldn't remember a single thing about them. I would maybe scream, speak strange words that made no sense, thrash and wake up confused, but sure enough, I would remember nothing of the nightmare.

I put it off as stress related considering everything that just happened to me. Though I do start using Grim as a dream diary as well, or would if I started to remember anything at all, might help me in some way to deal with the nightmares.

Well anyway, if I didn't get sleep at night I was sure bound to get it during the day, not much you can do when you're stuck in bed feeling awful. Outside of that, I picked up writing and doodling again. Mostly cause I was certain Hieronymous did not wish to be bothered every time I felt bored, which was fairly often.

Sorta wish Ellen and Virginia were here, but oh boy if they were things would be a lot more...complicated, but at least maybe I would actually be able to tell them what's really going on with me seeing they would have been around to see me hurl up a ton of blood all over our dorm room floor...

Good thing they aren't here actually. I keep forgetting about the uh blood hurling thing, I don't know how.

So it was the first day of the new year, a day to celebrate and feeling good about life and stuff. Very hard to think that when I am forced to continue drinking these foul tasting potions, uck. I will never get use the damn taste, I hope I never would be either.

The sooner I felt better, the sooner I'd never have to drink these things again. You would really think potions, in general, would taste a lot better than this, like come on add something to make it taste good, can't be that hard right?

After chugging that awful thing down Grim told me something that actually made me want to leave my dorm room today.

"Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday today?" I said the second Hieronymous opened the door.

He looked like he wanted to close it again. "Iris you should be resting in bed."

"I was, I've been for quite some time now. Anyway, don't change the subject." I frown at him before walking into his room and looking around a bit.

He sighs. "I simply did not find it important to tell you."

"Still you should of, I mean, come on. We are friends..." I didn't know what else to say about it really.

I never thought much of my birthday, no one else did either...I mean I guess Eva did when she was around, but that was it...except for Violet when she was still alive. I do remember that at least. Nonetheless, even if I didn't think much of my own birthday I did care a lot about my friends birthdays.

"So what were you doing?"

"Working." Of course, he was I sorta knew the moment I entered his room, I glanced over to his desk and what do you know it's covered in lots and lots of papers.

"Don't you think...maybe you should take a break or something? At least for today?"

He groans. "Iris..."

"Sorry, it's just I really wish you would've told me if I knew in advance I might have been able to actually get you something. ...Is there something you want still?"

"For you to go back to your room and rest."

"That's it? You sure?"

"Positive."

"Fine have fun with your work." I head towards the door.

"A book."

I stop and turn back. "What?"

"Just lend me one of your books." Is he serious?

"W-why?"

"I haven't read any fiction in a long while."

"And you think my taste in fiction is good?"

"I would assume so considering the countless number of books you seem to finish in such a short amount of time."

"Okay...sure fine uh just don't get upset at me if you find it bad."

So then I spend my afternoon freaking out over what book to lend to him.

Other than that, once school starts up again, I actually felt fine enough to try and go to class every day that first week. I really hoped it wouldn't wind up backfiring, but if it did I at least would know my limits right?

Although, I was also troubled occupied with the thoughts of rumors, when I did leave my room to wander for a little while right before everyone would come back from winter break, I heard things.

Things I didn't like to hear at all.

I tried my best to keep my spirits up, but worry kept its hold over me. I still had no idea what I was going to say to my roommates, I had to say something before the rumor mill got to them, but...I just didn't know what. That and well I wasn't for lying, especially more so now.

By the time I was done my walk, which was supposed to be a short one, I found my dorm room occupied. Well here goes nothing I suppose. I walk in.

"Iris there you are!" Ellen runs straight towards me looking me up and down with a great deal of worry.

I stepped back from her and put my hands up. "Wow uh, what's wrong?"

"You were badly hurt, weren't you? Professor Potsdam told us so." Oh...what?

"I'm fine, I mean I get tired a lot, but other then that pretty well I suppose. H-how much did she tell you exactly?"

Virginia finally speaks it seems she was putting her many new sweets away. "That you screwed up a spell, got badly hurt, and oh your sister got expelled. Anyway got any cool scars?"

Oh well, that was taken care of, I guess. "No sorry I don't."

I didn't want to talk about it anymore so cue me trying to change the subject, like usual. "So...how was both of your winter breaks?"

Sometimes after talking about what they did over break, I learned there was an exam at the end of the week. Oh goodness, I am really gonna need some luck to get through all of this.

The next day before class I could hear many students talking about Twila's explosion. I tried my best to ignore it all, including the people that actually came up to me and ask me personally what happened to her.

Outside of that, I swiftly found out that yes I could attend class, but sure enough couldn't cast many spells unless I wanted to feel like utter shit for the rest of the day. That and well, the second I would be let out of class I would have to head back to my dorm room and pass out until dinner time.

After the second day of doing so, I ran into someone in the hall.

"Iris?" Oh boy Damien, he's gonna ask about Twila, isn't he? Oh, I really do not feel like this right now.

I turn to face him and try my best to smile and be cheerful. "Hi there Damien."

" Why did you stop? Why did you turn around? Iris come on ignore him! " I choose to ignore Grim instead.

"It's good to see you, I heard about what happen with Twila...are you okay?" He looked pretty sad about it. Why? Was he...actually close to her? Er...I rather not know.

"I'm fine, really." Would be better if I could head back to my room and sleep some more.

"Are you sure? You look fairly ill." He takes a step closer to me.

I take a step back. "Y-yeah...I screwed up a spell over break, still recovering from it." Oh please don't get close to me again, so not comfortable with that.

" And yet you are if grabby were to do it. " Fuck off Grim ugh.

"You didn't go home for break?" Even though he was asking, he didn't look too surprised about it.

"No...what about you?"

"Something like that..." Huh? Nope, I shouldn't ask. "Anyway, I have something to show you. I made you a present, it's not much, but I wanted to give you something you could keep. Hold out your hands."

The next thing I know Grim speaks again. " Iris whatever he gives you don't keep it. " Excuse me?

" What? " I reply back.

" You heard me, don't keep it, I'm being serious right now. " I can tell, Grim sounds...off. Scary even.

" Alright, I won't okay? " I'm a little scared now.

I hold out my hands and he places something inside it without me noticing exactly what it is. I can tell it's fairly small and hard. ...Oh huh.

"It's a flower?" Well more so shaped like one, it's made out of some strange hard substance? "Is it a stone of some sort?"

"Advance Black Magic. By the time you're a senior you'll be able to sculpt details even smaller." Oh huh, I should really catch up on Black Magic seems very interesting, just so many other things I want to learn, though.

"Well thank you...sorry I guess I should've gotten you something too."

He smirks at me. "You already did by simply being here." Oh uh wow. Was I supposed to get flustered or something by that?

" Damn that was cheesy as fuck. " I try my absolute best to not burst out laughing at that statement.

"Anyway, I should go. I'll see you later. Also...if you ever wish to talk about Twila I'm here for you."

"O-okay thanks...bye."

I head back to my dorm room to find it empty, thank goodness. "Alright Grim what's up?"

"Put the stone down on the bed." Is all Grim says.

"Okay..." I put the stone flower down, which I start to notice looks like an actual iris flower. Aw, that's actually pretty sweet.

Grim hovered over the stone, open their pages, and the next thing I know the flower was eaten.

"G-grim? Was that necessary?" Grim's book pages actually looked a bit like little paper teeth for a moment.

"Yeah, ugh. Just had to make sure to get rid of it safely. Oh my god that tasted horrid!"

"You can taste things?" That is new?

"Eh sorta. Think it's cause of you really. Being bound in blood tends to have its side effects." Oh really?

"Uhh..."

"Don't worry you're perfectly fine. It's just me who will get affected like I get more...humanish."

"Okay. Still, why did you do that it seemed fine?" Like, come on it's just a rock.

"Oh, he's a demon. If u accept a gift from guys like him they tend to have...more power over you? Ask grabby I am sure he can explain it better than me if you are really curious about it."

"But I accepted it already? Will I be okay?"

"Yeah you'll be fine, it cancels out if you get rid of what they gave you, though it has to be done in a certain way. Which is why I ate it."

And that was the end of that strange conversation.

I finally had a class with Professor Grabiner on Friday, and boy was that uh awkward. Or at least to me it was, he didn't seem fazed by anything that happened over break, but I surely was.

I mean at one point towards the end of class I almost called him by his first name, that was a horrible moment for me. Truly felt like crawling into a hole and dying. Grim just laughed at me, like usual.

I ended up being held after class, oh goodness here it comes.

"Will you be alright for today's exam?" Oh? Not what I was expecting.

"I...don't know? I'd like to think so, I mean I been really exhausted lately, but I should be fine...unless you think otherwise?"

I know he can't tell about the exam and I don't expect him to, though I would like to know if in some way it could be bad for me.

He seems to think it over in his head. "No, you will be alright. Just be careful."

"I will. Seeya."

The first thing I was told upon entering the exam was that I was not alone. Guess that's why he said to be careful. So before going anywhere, I cast an Awareness spell.

That's weird why is there a room with no way out? Oh well, suppose I'll worry about that later I should get moving, slowly.

I head down the path before me and starting to feel drowsy. Ugh, this is not the time for this. I shake my head and turn the corner.

I am immediately woken up.

There is a Hodag...why in the world is there a Hodag in here? Are exams going to be dangerous now? I try my best to not make any noises, but that doesn't help, the monster already sees me and is heading my way.

Stay calm, just need to think...the room! There is a room closed off so maybe, just maybe I can teleport it away? But it's so big, could I really do that? Well here for trying and hoping.

I cast Teleport Other and the next thing I know the monster is gone. I really hope that thing can't break through walls, best to not stick around and find out. I make my way down the path, turn left, and before I know it, I see the stairs and bolt straight up them.

Professor Potsdam says the usual to me, but I earned extra merits from not getting hurt, and for not hurting the Hodag, man that's nice to know that I don't have to use offensive spells to do well in exams.

I thought tonight was gonna be great, I haven't had a nightmare in a good few days, and what do you know I had one. I woke up frighten but managed to not scream or speak incoherently or so I assumed seeing my roommates were sleeping peacefully.

Man if only I could too.

I tried heading back to sleep, I really did, but no matter how exhausted I was, I just couldn't. Suppose on the bright side it's the weekend now, so no need to worry about showing up to class the next day looking worse than usual.

Though I already did look fairly awful already, especially cause my hair has grown quite long and I really don't have the time or energy to do much with it.

I hear a noise and I jump up, nope just nothing that was nothing, there is nothing in this room other than my roommates. I take a deep breath in hopes of calming down some, it doesn't work.

Suppose I am just a bit jittery as result of the nightmare. That and well it was mostly pitch black in our room at night now seeing its winter.

Before I know it I find myself doing something I really shouldn't have done.

" Hey, are you there at all? " I really doubt I am going to get a message back, I mean, why would he be up this late?

" ...Yes, I assume you had yet another nightmare? " Oh...wow he is up huh.

" ...Yeah, I did. Why are you up though did you have a nightmare too or something? " This was late even by his standards, I think.

I get no response. " I'm gonna take that as a yes then. "

I hear a sigh. " What is it, Iris? "

" Nothing...sorry. Just can't sleep is all. Kinda scared too, but I know that's silly, nothings out to get me, I'm safe. "

" And talking to me is making you feel less frighten? "

" Of course, your voice is lovely. " Fuck didn't mean to think that! " Ignore the last thing I said please. "

I hear a faint chuckle. " You are certainly a strange girl. " Wow...

And now I am flustered, thank goodness he can't see me right now. " I'm well aware of that... Oh uh sorry about earlier in class, I sorta almost called you Hieronymous. Just been so tired and spacey lately. "

" I noticed that. " I hear something else from him too. " She looked so exhausted in her exam earlier. "

" Wait...you were watching me during my exam earlier? " Wow...nice to know….

He goes completely silent then. I freak out. " I'm so sorry fuck! I just hear you say it an- "

" It's alright calm down. "

" But yeah...by the time class is done for the day, I always get so exhausted! I have just been passing out in my dorm room till dinner time all week as result. It's so annoying. "

" Well, you would probably feel better if you didn't attend class all week. " Did he just?

" You want me to...not attend class every day? Hieronymous are you okay? "

" I'm only saying so in regards to your health. I cannot help you with your...issue until you are well on your feet again. "

" Yeah...you're right, don't worry I'll try my best to not overdo it. "

" Good. "

I want to ask him how many other exams of mine did he see, but I started to feel sleepy and before I knew it, I was asleep.