Chapter 48: Never Again

Derek strokes Meredith's forehead, reassuring himself that she is awake and all right. He kisses her gently, caressing the curve of her belly. "Everything is okay, I'm here love." He stares intently into her sea green eyes, pushing all traces of his earlier blood lust aside.

"I'm fine," she murmurs, catching the tremor in his voice, the anguish in his eyes, though his skin is flushed. "And you...you fed?"

"Thatcher insisted."

"Good, if he didn't, I would, Derek," Meredith smiles gently. "Dr. Williams thinks I need to rest, and keep off my feet for a while, but she isn't entirely familiar with this kind of pregnancy. She might call Dr. Montgomery."

Derek's eyebrows go up. "That can't be a good sign - she's a surgeon, as I recall."

"She deals with all kinds of cases, from regular to high risk," Dr. Williams speaks up, from her spot waiting by the door.

"Still..."

"We'll watch Meredith for a night or so and see how it goes. If things improve, we won't need to bring in anyone else."

Meredith's eyes begin to drift shut again, and Derek squeezes her fingers. "Fine. Whatever it takes to make sure all of them are in no danger." He glances towards Dr. Williams, who nods and leaves them alone. Derek watches Meredith, relaxing slightly, trying to quell the fears that something will go wrong.

"He's in a dark place," Thatcher states, conferring with Mark in the living room. "The anguish is making the blood lust strong. It's a trait we have to overcome. Our natures are so passionate - in love, anger, desire - it can trigger a sensory overload if we let it."

Mark frowns. "He managed to pull back after I stepped in, but he fears losing control with Meredith now."

"Mes amis, Meredith's love will win over any traces of blood lust in her mate," Veronique speaks up, touching Thatcher on the arm affectionately. He pats her hand, grateful for her presence.

"I'm sure you're right, Ver, but only she can convince him of that."

"The other problem...we may need to call Dr. Montgomery from Seattle if her condition doesn't improve." Veronique glances over at Mark, her lavender eyes concerned.

He shrugs, as if unconcerned. "Fine, she's the best in that field, after all."

Thatcher arches one brow. "And her presence won't bother you?"

"I can handle it." Mark crosses her arms across his leather jacket, his eyes cool, even though his jaw clenches, giving away a trace of interest.

"Good."

Mark nods. "I'm heading back to the club if you need me again."

"Thank you for being with Derek tonight. I appreciate it."

"He would do the same for me, I'm sure."

After he disappears, Thatcher shakes his head. "Too much drama, Ver. Let's hope this all resolves itself soon."

"It will, and once you hold your grandchildren in your arms, this will all be a bad memory, cherie.."

One week later, Derek stands with Victor at the raised booth at the back of Savage Garden. Dressed in his fine Versace suit, with a hand-stitched linen shirt, flushed from recent feeding, Derek radiates sensual allure. The myriad scent of the mortals calls to him, as the soulful baritone of Gilles, the latest French vamp to join the coven, fills the air. The raised dais gives both men the perfect view of the undulating crowd in the packed club.

"Should you not be with your mate?" Victor inquires softly. "Not that I don't enjoy your company, old friend..."

Derek frowns slightly. "She needs her rest."

"And she needs you, I think."

"I might do more harm than good in my present state of mind," Derek notes, still mindful of his behavior a week ago. He has managed to control himself since then, but he fears taking Meredith might be a bad idea. She needs to be pampered in her delicate condition, and she doesn't need to deal with his primal male desires right now. There can never be any other female for him, and he aches for her in ways he never thought possible, but he is doing his best to let her rest. Thatcher and Veronique are there with her regularly, so she isn't alone. Cristina has threatened to fly out from Seattle herself, bringing Dr. Montgomery with her, and Derek is quite sure that would create all kinds of havoc.

"Derek?" Victor's voice brings him back from his thoughts.

"Sorry, I'm just doing my best to keep some distance."

"Meredith is your bonded mate, Derek. She can't survive without you - staying away is hurting both of you. I can see it in your eyes."

Derek grips the railing that circles the dais, his fingers white from the pressure. "She's too fragile, Victor."

Victor snorts. "She's stronger than that, and you know it, Derek. Give her a chance to understand what you are going through at least. She hasn't been one of our kind long enough to realize this can happen, and if you let her help you, it will get you through this. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about." His voice is tinged with regret.

"You've been in a similar situation, haven't you?"

"Not long after I turned. Too long ago to speak of it now, Derek. Suffice to say, being here with me is not the solution."

Derek scans the crowd again, watching Mark charm his way through the crush of women at the bar. What will happen if Dr. Montgomery appears in London, he wonders. He rubs the bridge of his nose - surely if he were mortal, he would have a raging migraine by now, he thinks ruefully.

"Go home, Derek. You've hunted, you don't need anything else here."

"You're right. I bow down to your age and wisdom, Victor," Derek manages to grin, earning an eyeroll from the elder vampire. Then he leaves, making his way to Mark on the way, with a salute good-bye.

Are you all right?

Perhaps not entirely, but I'm managing.

Be careful.

I'm going home - you don't need to play chaperone, Mark.

Good, say hello to Meredith for me.

When Derek arrives back at the penthouse, however, all thought of a quietly passionate time with his mate is discarded. He finds a crowd in his living room, all trying to speak at the same time. Cristina and Addison are on the sofa, with Geneva holding a chart with Meredith's notes on it. Alexei lounges by the windows, hands in his jacket pockets, watching with amusement as Cristina does her best to organize everyone. Thatcher and Veronique are directing questions at Addison, who looks rather dazed at being among this group of preternaturally gorgeous people.

"If we're having a party, maybe we should tone it down a bit to let Meredith rest," he snaps, coming to stand in the midst of them. He crosses his arms, and lets his dark blue eyes sweep over them, as they all stop talking. "Her hearing is still acute, no matter if she's tired, and you must sound like a nest of bees right about now."

"Derek, we just arrived from the airport, and Dr. Williams is filling Addison in," Cristina offers. "I peeked in at Mer when we arrived, and she was sleeping. Trust me."

"And why did Dr. Montgomery have to be pulled into this?" he demands. "I thought we agreed to wait and see how things went."

"She's the best - don't you think Mer deserves that?"

"You, of all people, should understand why this shouldn't be happening," Derek murmurs, but Cristina isn't about to back down. He picks up the sound of Meredith stirring then, and he turns abruptly on his heel, leaving them to finish the discussion without him.

He pauses at the bedroom door, gathering his thoughts. Meredith catches his gaze and holds her hand out, and in an instant he is beside her. "I missed you. You've been so distant this week," she whispers. "You even shielded your thoughts...what's going on?"

Derek kisses her fingertips. "I've been worried about you, love, and it's affecting my moods. I'm afraid if I get too close, I may lose control and do something I regret. It's been for your good." Her scent is calling to him now, surrounding him, as the moonlight falls through the window across her delicate features. "I can't lose you, Meredith. It would kill me." Despite his fears, he gathers her closer, burying his face against her hair.

"I don't want to lose you either, Derek. Don't you think this has been difficult enough for me without you beside me? Yes, Father is here, and Veronique, but I wanted you." Meredith rests against his chest, comforted by the strength of his arms around her, and his scent that wraps around her. "You would never jeopardize me or the babies, that's just not your nature."

He closes his eyes, remembering the terrible thirst that raged through him before, mixed with the dangerous darkness that wanted more. He has battled it constantly the last seven nights, but only now, holding her so tightly, does he feel it receding. Victor was right, the love between the two of them was what he needed. "I know, forgive me, love. But I nearly succumbed to a bloodlust that threatened to consume me when I was out with Mark that first night you were in pain. I nearly drained the host, something I have never come close to in all the centuries of my existence."

"Oh no..." She shifts in his embrace to look at him, seeing the pain in his eyes.

"I can't even begin to explain how it felt. Just hope that you never feel that kind of extreme thirst." He eases her back down against the pillows and stretches out beside her. One hand rests on her belly, as he smiles at her. "I love you, and I need you. I'm not leaving you alone again."

"You better not, Derek Shepherd, or I'll be out there hunting your undead heart myself," Meredith laughs softly. "I love you so much..." She shifts against him, her body warm and soft against the hard muscle of his. The delicate nightgown she is wearing dips low around her breasts, drawing his gaze there. He buries his face against her, licking the sensitive skin behind her ear, making her shiver. The feel of her pulse makes his fangs ache, grazing against her, but he backs away, dropping kisses over her shoulder instead.

"I've missed being with you," he murmurs, "but I know we have to be careful."

Meredith sighs. "Yes, we do, I suppose." Her body hungers for him just as much, her fingers undoing the buttons on his shirt, sliding over the flat planes of his abdomen. His hips flex against her, his cock insistent despite his efforts to resist.

"There are other ways to make you feel good, love..." he whispers suggestively, easing the nightgown up her legs. "Let me make this up to you. This is about your pleasure right now."

Meredith moans softly, as he moves between her legs, his mouth caressing the sensitive curve of her breasts that he bared by tugging the little ribbons open at the bodice of the nightgown. His tongue circles the suddenly hard nipples, sucking and teasing, until she is lost in a warm rush of bliss. "And you're wet…so wet…" His voice tantalizes her, as he brushes against her with his fingertips.

"Yes…oh…"

His breath is warm on her then, as he kisses the inside of her thighs, licking the damp skin. "And you taste so good…" His fingers and his tongue combine to take her into bliss, as she lifts to meet him.

She collapses back against the downy pillows, laughing and moaning, overcome with the sensation of pleasure that courses through her. Derek lets her go slowly, kissing her round belly, returning to lean over her, nuzzling her breasts again. "Does that help?" he asks, cradling her tenderly, overcome with the love he feels for her.

"Always, and you know it," Meredith sighs. Then she arches one eyebrow at him, picking up the conversations going on out in the living room. "But shouldn't you be out there with everyone else? I hear Addison, is that right?"

"Yes, you do hear her," Derek sighs. "Cristina brought her, and now I'm not sure how to deal with that. I can't keep her presence hidden from Mark; he's bound to pop in at some point."

"Cris is here too? Oh my - I guess I shouldn't have sounded so miserable on the phone with her," Meredith confesses. "What do we do now?"

"I guess we can't just hide in here until the babies are born?" he jokes, before pulling her close to kiss her again, leaving them both wanting more, the voices of the others fading away.

"Hardly, my love," Meredith agrees, but she gives him a naughty little smile, stroking the ridge of his erection again, so that he closes his eyes in anticipation. "But I think we need to do something with this first..."

"But..." he protests, caught in his need for her touch.

"You're still dressed...that won't do..." She tugs at the buckle at his pants, making him groan, and within a moment, he is naked beside her. Her fingers caress his skin, dancing lower, brushing his cock. "Hmm...I'm glad you changed your mind..." Her tongue traces along the inside of his thighs, trailing wetly over the throbbing length of him. Tracing and swirling around him, bringing him into hotter arousal than ever. Derek watches in fascination as she teases him, leaning over to breathe warmly along over his cock. The brush of her fingers, in combination with little puffs of air are a decadent combination. His hips rise, his arms lift above his head, grabbing at the pillows, as the heat pools in his groin. Her tongue follows her fingers, over the throbbing tip, flicking the little drops that already seep out.

Then she pauses, and he nearly howls in masculine frustration. "Meredith...love, what are you doing to me?"

"You do promise not to keep me out of your thoughts, and to confide everything to me from now on..." Her mouth is grazing over his abdomen, her little fangs just touching him enough to make him clench.

"Yes." His body strains upwards, waiting, wanting more.

She nips him lightly, before she grasps him again. "Good, just checking, love..."

"I swear…just don't ever stop that…"

"I won't ever stop…" She runs her tongue around him, harder and longer, taking him deeper. As he loses himself in the feeling of her soft mouth, everything else flees his conscious thought process, leaving only white-hot surrender and pure love...